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Do you know why you gave up on your eating plan? Is there something happening in your life causing you undue stress. Are you grieving a loss? Do you think you might be depressed? Are you self-medicating with food? If you have access to a therapist, they can help you try to get to the root of WHY you feel the urge to eat the wrong things (or in the wrong amounts). Unfortunately, surgery helps the body lose weight but it doesn't cure the emotional issues that may have caused us to overeat in the first place. In the meantime, I don't know what you're eating that is problematic, but maybe start by getting rid of junk food, soda, sugar, etc. Go back to protein, veggies and fruit. Don't worry about quantity, but start by focusing on making good food choices. Once you "detox" from your problem foods, it will be much easier to figure out how you should eat going forward. Have you contacted your bariatric team? They should be able to provide support and guidance (and maybe a referral to a therapist). Best wishes, hope you can get back on track soon. Hugs. 🤗

Congrats, I am hoping to reach my goal weight too.

Oh sorry I missed a question…I decided on this weight because I had gotten down to 165 once before (very, very briefly) and I’d liked how I looked and felt. So I put that down as my goal weight. Sitting at almost 340 lbs at the time I kind of worried my surgeon would roll his eyes, but everyone just accepted that and I went forward with that as the goal. I think a goal weight is a personal thing- some people look amazing still “overweight” , some people are more muscular, etc. I like that I’m in a healthy bmi but at the end of the day I kind of feel like I know what I want to look/feel like, so that’s how I came to the decision.

Our surgery center dieticians were also focused on low-fat everything, but I am not about to eat diet cheese. When I asked why low fat was necessary, and what it had to do with weight loss surgery, she just said it was because low-fat was generally healthier, especially low saturated fat. Well, there's much debate about that, so I told her I was going to continue to eat cheese, because my life would be sad without cheese. As you said, it has to be sustainable. Plus... if the mayo is fat free, why does it only have to be 1 tsp? One thing I did learn later is that if you have a lot of fat intake as you are losing weight rapidly, it can increase your chances of having gallbladder issues. I'm trying to keep low fat where I can, but still eat CHEESE! Did your surgery center not have a dietician of their own? If not, I'd ask them for a recommendation for a dietician familiar with WLS patients. Not that you will necessarily have a better outcome, but maybe!

I had a month-long stall around that time, but as said above, your body may simply want to be at the point it wants to be at. You can either fight that or enjoy the great success you've had. Not all of us are meant to be BMI23 and that's okay! I'd approach this with a curious attitude. Try upping your calories, adding protein, try a new form of exercise; do something new in general. See how your body responds. If it stays at this weight, well, then that's your new weight. And that's okay.

Hi everyone! I was just planning out my strategy for the coming Christmas dinners, lunches, brunches and thought I'd share. Maybe you guys have some tips to share as well! 1. Learning flexible control Problem We're used to thinking in black and whites. Good food and bad food. On-the-diet or off-the diet. Thoughts like 'oh well, since I already ate X, I may as well give up on my diet' are probably familiar to us. Solution This year, I'm going to eat beyond my calories, but not far beyond my calories. I'm not going to be counting, actually. I'm going to taste a little bit of everything, and stop when I feel satisfied. 2. Me first Problem "People expect me to be eating what they eat / I can't handle questions about how I eat / I will disappoint my Aunt if I don't eat this or that ..." Solution My body, my eating: I'm going to compliment the food I get, and in general take charge of the situation. I won't be hoping nobody notices I eat way less than the rest of the family, I'm eating how I want to eat and that's it. In general, I'm going to remind myself my eating is for my body. Their eating is for theirs. People who seem confident don't get second-guessed. Fake it 'till you make it. 3. Answering all the questions Problem People asking about my weight loss, commenting if I shouldn't put on some weight, judging bariatric surgery. Solution I'm going to be my own PR agent; and I'm coming prepared with answers. My answer to "how did you lose the weight?" is 'I fixed my mental relation to food first, then had bariatric surgery, and life has never been better, so happy with how I did this' is my prepared answer in a family setting. It sounds well-planned (and it was, btw) and doesn't open up a can of new questions. Rather it inspires co-celebration and I expect lots of 'good for you!' kinds of answers. Again, a confident attitude doesn't open attack lanes. My answer to "I think bariatric surgery is the easy way out" will be a question in return; "I don't know a lot of people who lost more than 100 lbs and kept it off without metabolic surgery, do you?" My answer to "oh but can't you drop the diet for a day and enjoy eating with your family like we do?" will be "I'd love to be here sharing a family meal in 20 years, too, so I'm not too focused on eating a certain amount, I'm focused on eating what's right for me" with a smile to make it less confrontational. However, a question like that warrants a certain amount of back off! in the reply. In general, see 2. I'll happily taste everything. I will eat however much or little I feel like, though. And it's okay to be a little on guard in our situation, we're still getting the hang of things. 4. Coming prepared Problem Finding myself without any options to eat something I'd like to eat. Solution Avoid setting myself up for failure: I'm stocking up the car on sugar-free chocolate, popped cheese, Quest protein chips, instant protein oatmeal and some fruit. If I'm hungry, I'm hungry, and then I need to eat. I don't want to chance it and find myself in a situation where I "have to" eat something I don't want to eat. I can eat whatever I want, in smaller amounts, but I'd like to have options. 5. Pre-forgiving myself Problem What if I end up eating 2,800 calories and washing that down with 1,200 calories worth of dessert wine? Solution The only way this will truly be a problem is if it means I'm back in beating myself over the head with it-land. If this happens, it was probably because it was a really fun night, the food was amazing, and hey, the upside to Auntie Liz' drinking problem is she brings awesome French dessert wine. Better help her drink that and move on with life the next day as planned. What do you guys do to fly through the holidays? Merry Christmas!

Hi there! I totally get it, as I just got my surgery date earlier this week. I had so many requirements from the insurance company so the process has taken me 5 months. I wavered while making the decision, but while I am convinced it's the right one, it suddenly feels real. My biggest fear is not being able to maintain the lifestyle changes needed to get and stay healthy, but this just has to happen. Nothing else has worked, and the weight keeps piling on. So while I can't speak to the pain aspect, I can tell you that I am scared, too. We'll get through it though, and I'm willing to bet it will all be worth it.

It's so weird how different programs work. In mine, after a month which is phase 3 for me, they have provided the list of all kinds of food including bread, pasta, rice and that too white rice. We can eat all kinds of grains as long as we can tolerate. It kinda petrifies me since we are always told to stay away from carbs during weight loss. Of course we are asked to eat Protein first then vegetables, fruits and carbs come last. I'll try to include little at a time and try not to have too many carbs in my mela especially since my protein comes from heavy carb laden whole foods (vegetarian and all, and no protein powder on my program).

Generally post bariatric surgery we’re advised to avoid bread, pasta, rice especially while losing. They are nutritionally poor food choices, can swell &/or sit heavily in your much smaller tummy. Your focus should be protein. If you can only eat say 1/3 cup of food for a meal the majority of that 1/3 cup should be protein focussed. Some people do eat small amounts of vegetable pasta, cauliflower rice, etc. as they progress through the weight loss phase. And some find they can eat a little traditional bread, pasta or rice as they are able to eat larger portions at a meal. Many avoid these foods until maintenance when they start to reintroduce them into their diets. It does depend upon the plan you have been given & also how you react to certain foods. What does your plan/surgeon/dietician recommend? I still don’t eat bread or pasta or rice at 2yrs 7 months. They tend to still sit heavily in my tummy & I also try to focus on nutritionally dense food choices.

It could be that you have reached your low weight point. You could be in a prolonged stall which is more noticeable because you are getting close to goal & your rate of loss has slowed. You may need to up your activity or tweak your food choices a bit. What does your dietician or surgeon say or suggest? Unfortunately, the truth is not everyone reaches their goal weigh. Some lose more, some less. Some regain, some maintain. Remember, the average weight loss at the 5yr point is about 65% of the weight you had to lose. I reached my goal at 6 months but continued to lose for another 10/11 months. I struggled to eat enough to stop the loss. The rate slowed a lot over that period down to about a pound or less over two weeks or more. I’m what is termed a statistical outlier & have beaten the odds so far but I have no idea what the future will bring. Congratulations on the weight you have lost. Whoo hoo!

Thank you all for your kind words! These forums have been great for keeping me on track before and after surgery. I really appreciate you all. Honestly this is pretty much the only “before” pic, and I’m not even quite sure it’s at my highest. My program said take before pictures right before surgery, take measurements. But of course I didn’t listen. My main goal for photos pre-op was “don’t be in them”. A few more questions I see all the time I here I will answer: yes I lost hair, yes, even though I got my protein and vitamins. It just happens. I cut my hair shorter, and literally the only other person who noticed was my hair dresser. And all the hair is growing back now, which looks kind of funny since it’s a little frizzy halo on my head. But the whole hair thing is kinda funny to be honest, not a huge upset or a tragedy. No, I don’t feel like weight loss made me look dramatically older, nor did I gain wrinkles or jowls. But I’m in my 40s, and I’m a skincare enthusiast and regular Botox user so that may have influenced stuff. 😂 Yes, I can eat “normally” now. If I went out to a restaurant with someone who didn’t know it wouldn’t be obvious outside of what looks like a small appetite. I’m not eating special bariatric diet food. Happy to answer any questions people have! And thank you all again.

Congrats!! Love your attitude. I relate with much of what you wrote. Agree that the constant hunger makes it pretty difficult to cut calories before surgery. Curious, how did you decide on your goal weight, and then wanting to lose more after that? I am getting close to my lightest weight as an adult (which happens to be the same weight my surgeon predicted I’d get down to). But I would still be considered overweight at that point, so perhaps going down to a BMI below 25 should be goal?

Yes, I also weigh less than my husband now, which is amazing. He and I are almost the same height but for most of our marriage I was twice his weight. Now I’m ten pounds less. It was fun playing on the teeter totter at the park last weekend and being the light one for once! He weighs almost the exact same amount of weight that I’ve lost, and I can barely pick him up for a second or two. It’s incomprehensible that a year ago I was going about my entire life with that weight on me. How did I even walk? Now I know why I was so exhausted all the time.

I know what you mean. When I get such "compliments" from people who have always loved, supported, cared, and never judged me when I was bigger, I am grateful for them. They make me feel good inside and I appreciate them. But, unfortunately, some people I know judged me when I was bigger, and suddenly now say how good I look, or "wow you've lost so much weight, you look great." When people like that say those types of things to me, it does not feel good. I think just as you do. What were they saying behind my back when I wasn't this size. When they say that to me, all I hear is, "You were so huge and ugly before."

Oh yeah, my metabolism was well & truely wrecked from decades of literally starving myself to try to lose or maintain. That has been a bonus of this surgery: a metabolism that actually works again. I’m truely surprised by how much food I eat to maintain my weight now which would have resulted (& did) in weight gain at my much higher weight pre surgery. I am still a believer of calories in & calories out (not that I’m a regular calorie counter by any stretch of the imagination) but temper it with the calories in are what your individual body needs to function. No one’s body is exactly the same as another’s & therefore our bodies have different caloric needs & we process the nutrients we need from the food we consume differently so we also have different nutrients requirements. That’s why one diet/style of eating will work for someone but not for someone else. It’s why so many of us advocate you discovering what works for you. That’s a benefit of this forum, lots of ideas, suggestions, experiences from which you can start to develop your eating style from people who truely understand the struggle.

I am 8.5 months post op and my weight loss has slowed to a very slow crawl so I know what you mean. I am about ten pounds from goal still but my goal is at the high end of normal so I figured I could reach that fairly easy and readjust from there. I do not do a lot of exercise aside from walking. I think to lose much more I may have to add in some actual cardio. Perhaps you will too.

Hi all, I'm 9 months post op and in the past two months I did not lose one pound. I eat a little bit more than before, but my eating habits are very good. I lost 65 pounds in total (I'm at 165 now) but would love to go down to 130lbs at least. Is the weight loss done for me? I'm wondering if there was no more weight loss for any one of you after less than a year. I just want to mentally prepare myself if 160-165 is the lowest I will get

Congratulations! So exciting that you will soon be getting a tool that will help you lose weight. Yes, upcoming surgery is scary. What helped me is writing down all my questions (and the responses from doctors, billing, etc.), getting anything possible ready ahead of time for the hospital and recovery, tying all loose ends with work/home/family ahead of time, and trusting in the experts. I don’t mean to scare you, but hospitals are short-staffed due to COVID. My requests for pain relief regularly took 30-90 minutes, and I wasn’t allowed to have my husband stay overnight to be my advocate. If I had to do it again, I would have gone ahead and woken him up at 1am to call the nurse station himself. I also would have involved the charge nurse or patient advocate much sooner. And when I could walk the next day, I should have walked myself over to the nurse’s station to insist on meds. Yes, I also worried that I wouldn’t be successful. So, I only told my husband. And I am private so did not join support groups, but found this forum such a blessing!! The wonderful people here have provided all the support, ideas, encouragement needed. GL!

The weight loss back pain is real! I had a heck of a time for a few months. I fully believe what was said earlier about sudden shift in how you hold yourself. Once my stomach started going away I’m sure it messed with my center of balance. I started exercising more and it eventually went away.

You know what I say to people? I say "yeah, wow, I really admire that guy I used to be. You won't believe how much easier life is when people aren't constantly judging your weight. He lived life on hard mode, tough warrior that man." It shuts them up real fast.

I know this is controversial but the nurse practitioner at my practice says that there is a lot of research correlating diet soda with weight gain. They can’t figure out the exact relationship. They just know that they are related. Just a heads up if you start gaining and don’t know why it could be the culprit. They told me that medically I can have soda but they recommend that I do not.

Emotions are complicated. (Duh! Tek) When I was a 1/4 ton too heavy I constantly felt judged. Heck, I was judging me why shouldn't everyone? When kids and adults alike run into poles and walls because they were staring at me it's hard to pretend I'm not being judged, though sometimes it gave me a chuckle. I knew my friends and work acquaintances rarely said anything because, generally, they were kind people. I like kind people. Family was harder. Love seems to allow the harshest of cruelties. After I started losing the weight they also became my biggest cheerleaders, even though they mucked it up sometimes as you describe. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. For me this is where the charity principle comes into play: Accept the good intentions even though the expression of them were poorly formed. I want to say the feeling of being judged got better after losing weight, but for me, not so much. No one I know now knew me then. I know intellectually no one is judging me for my weight. But still my head image of me doesn't match the real me though with time it's getting closer, so I still have the emotions of big. I always feel judged about other things too so I think a lot of it may be the joy of being me. Good luck, Tek

I got to take Tylenol which is hard with very little water. The dry mouth was terrible and the pain today is horrific. My surgeon came in I told him I had buyer remorse he said everyone does until they start dropping weight and feeling better good luck everyone

My aunt keeps sending me photos of how big I was a year and two years ago saying look what came up on my memories I had to show you. I know she means it to say congratulations on your success but part of me doesn’t feel that way. Part of me is like what we’re you saying then if you think I was so huge and gross before. And a small part thinks what if I am one of the people that gains it all back and I am that big again what will you say then. Am I just being too sensitive and not just accepting the compliment or what. Idk if I am explaining how I feel exactly right but I wonder if anyone else has felt similar??

Thank you!!!! 💛💛💛💛I actually never thought that eating would ruin my weight loss. I would love to eat more. I’m honestly not hungry at all. I haven’t begin to feel hunger yet. I have to set alarms to eat. My surgery team told me that I don’t have to eat more, just make a few tweaks to what I am eating. For instance, adding peanut butter to my apple sauce or yogurt to get the calories up. Or adding low fat Mayo to my tuna instead of just eating it with a little pepper. I do eat 5-6 times a day. I think when I’m completely healed, I might start to feel hunger and be able to get more in.