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Hey @jparadigm, I wanted to say I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I do think however that these feelings are entirely normal, and from reading others who have posted in these forums, a lot of people do go through this. Dealing with our relationship with food is one of the hardest things to do, but as you know, is a key part of working with the tool of surgery. I think your idea of maybe seeking some help from a therapist/counsellor would be a good idea. I am pre-surgery, but I have therapy every week and my main focus at the moment is around my relationship to food. I would say however, try not to beat yourself up too much, as this can do the opposite and not motivate you at all. You're still healing, and that takes a toll on you mentally and physically. This is all new for you. Maybe start a journal and when you are feeling those cravings, write down what it is you want, and how you are feeling in that moment - try and pinpoint exactly what feeling is driving those cravings, sit with it, be interested in it. Hopefully that may start to give you that time to acknowledge how you are feeling before any incidents of deviating from your current food plan. Then think maybe about something else you can do that will give you that hit of dopamine! Either way, speaking to someone about how you are feeling and seeking to address your relationship with food will be key, and you have already taken that first step in admitting how you feel here and seeking help. Be kind to yourself x

Yes. As time goes on, you are able to eat more. It's normal, as long as you don't push it too far, or eat a lot of slider foods or foods higher in calories and carbs. There are some days where I can eat what seems like a lot (although compared to what I used to eat, it's a nominal amount) and then there's days where I struggle to eat even the smallest amount. I honestly don't know why that is, even when I make sure to follow my diet and eat the same types of things across the board. I just look at is like this: the days I eat less balance out the days I eat more. As long as you stick to the eating plan and prioritize protein first (then veggies, then carbs and healthy fats), and I make sure I'm not grazing or eating even when I'm not hungry (head hunger) then I figure it's all ok and will even out in the end.

Wepa! Have you already had your surgery? I would first recommend you speak to your team/dietician on specifics. Every program differs in some ways. Also what people can tolerate also differs. I personally had the bypass not the sleeve, but I don't think there is too much difference in the stages. While many programs don't typically give exact calories and carb totals, a lot recommend 50g or under for daily carbs. I would think it may not be the best to try to have plantains in the pureed stage. Your main goal is protein and fluids and plantains are a pretty heavy carb. I would try to hold off to a little later stage when your capacity is a little better. I think I tried maduros around 4 months out, but really just a taste. Gandules might not be a bad option as beans provide a good amount of fiber as well as protein. There definitely will be room to enjoy all the favorite traditional foods down the line, just in far lesser quantities. I can tolerate rice - however I've only had like 2 spoonful's of arroz con gandules at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Honestly, I would demand an explanation for why their program is so different than almost every established program out there and why the discharge papers contradict her instructions. Are you getting protein with the clear fluids? Also, I would want them to outline clearly what your food intake goals are going to be for the next several weeks. I've seen 2 Tbsp as a guideline on solid foods before for the first few months, but never limited to once a day. That's usually per meal, with 3-6 meals per day.

Sometimes we have the best ideas at 3am 🤣 Very much the case - I know I am guilty of not realising just how much work goes into this post-surgery, even with being well informed. There is a difference between reading about it, and living it! It is so strange to me now to look back on how I was, even though I am not too far out yet - I was binge eating on a massive scale, and my weight was just rising so quickly. I think back to that little 12 year old girl I used to be, who struggled with her weight back then, and I genuinely feel grief for her. This surgery has given me the ability to not be controlled by food - yes, it is still important, but I don't think about it 24/7, I don't have to crave sugar and I feel so much better already. And you guys on this site have all contributed to me just biting the bullet and going for it with the surgery!

Of course If this post helps even a couple of people, I'm glad I wrote it at 3am lol There's so much to learn on here, and the OGs have a lot of wisdom, and hard truths, to impart of the newbies lol I always want to help. Yes, I get frustrated when advice is ignored and then someone comes on and complains that they gained weight, or the weight isn't coming off. But I try to remember that it's a learning curve, and we all stumble and fall on this journey. You just have to be willing to take accountability for your actions, get up, and start again. I'm proud of every single person here who made the decision to save their lives by getting this surgery. It's life changing, and life saving. And I know first hand that many of us have a food addiction that got us into this, and it's up to us, in combination with the surgery, to get ourselves out of it. If I, and the others here that have done it, can help anyone else along the way, we're very happy to

All the time! There are a few things I eyeball (e.g., salad greens, Skinny Girl salad dressing) or go by the unit (e.g., half a tomato, 2 celery stalks) because the calories are so negligible that even if I'm way off, it won't make a significant difference, but I always weigh out protein portions and even most vegetables, and ingredients in recipes. I'm not super meticulous about tracking every gram of everything I eat anymore, but I actually think using a food scale is easier than eyeballing most of the time.

All programs are different. My program allows cream soups and other blended soups(fat free lower sodium) , strained and thinned out with water so that there are no chunks. I can also have yogurt not fruit or added stuff in it. Do not use the isopure unflavored. It tastes very flavored! And its gross. I can not mask the flavor at all with anything!!!! I cant wait for my follow up on Thursday, hopefully I get to move on to what my program calls “soft and mushy” foods

Just echoing what the two very experienced forum members say above. A regain in 2nd and 3rd year post op is almost the norm. Please try not to worry about it unduly. Your set point is the weight/body composition that your body wants to hover around. The video below is short and might help. Your set point gets lowered drastically by WLS. But - processed food raises it. Eating cleaner keeps it lower. Building muscle mass keeps it lower. Might those be things you can work on a bit? Lots of people focus on cardio and that's brilliant, but lifting weights or using resistance bands (even if you never do cardio!) can add another really significant layer to that. Do you or have you ever tracked your intake? If that has slipped just tracking again might make you aware of what you're taking in and what you're using up. I am saying this as someone just about 3 years post op who regained 16lbs this year. I personally wasn't happy with that because it didn't stop as others' seems to, so I lost 10lbs by strict keto and am now back where I want to be. I had dietary lapses I needed to correct too and am working on that. I had this surgery to stop dieting - I feel like I can tweak things to keep me where I want to be without that and that I've learned a lot by stepping back and really analysing my intake the last few months. Also huge kudos to you for thinking about this with only 9lbs on. Much easier to look at what you can change now, if you even need to do that, rather than further down the line. I wish you the very best.

I think when you go on vacation if you just tell them you had stomach surgery they will understand. Don’t have to get into what it was specifically. Just says special diet prescribed by doctor. Or even it’s delicious but I already ate. All they really care about is knowing that it’s not because you are dissatisfied with the food. I was a savory person before my sleeve too. I had kind of a unique change to where I craved sweets which was another of the things that contributed to my regain. It’s pretty uncommon according to my dr. Post SADI I don’t feel like I am craving sweet as much. Perhaps because I know I can’t have the sweets I really would want but hopefully because that reversed itself again. We shall see. I know that I have been craving fish tacos which is really weird for me. I barely even ate fish pre surgery or post sleeve. Just made myself like once a month because I know its good for me. I don’t think the caffeine restriction is really about how you will feel when you have it. It’s more about affecting your healing and I think I also heard something about it causing irritation or GERD.

I also had this fear. 1% chance is world wide and I’m guessing you had your surgery in a western country and good hospital so chances are closer to 1 in 500 chance. Moreover 70% of the time they happen in the first week. So your odds are very very slim. Just follow food instructions and you will be fine best of luck

Hi everyone my name is kaitlin! I am a semi driver I'm on medical leave currently because of a hernia. In order to get it fixed I have to get to 150 pounds. I dropped 60 pounds on my own out on the road before this happened. So when i got taken out of the saddle in September I took the pledge and plunge I ended up going through the process for Roux-en-Y gastric bypass which I had on May 14th 2024. My highest documented weight was 420. But my starting weight before surgery was 389. My day of surgery weight was 364 and I'm sitting at 341 now!!! I'm on soft food stage.

Hi- I had my ESG done around the same date as you and hoping to hear an update. I live in San Diego so opted to have it done in Mexico. But I’m wondering if that was the wrong choice. I feel very little restriction 6 weeks out. I can eat a significant amount of food before a sudden full feeling comes on. I have no issues meeting protein or water goals. I can comfortably drink a protein shake in a minute.. I’ve had 10lbs weight loss and no weight loss since starting solid foods.

I don't post too much on here anymore because I'm 2 years and 3 months post of from bypass. Life has pretty much normalized and I've reached my goal weight. I would like to get down to maybe 195 lbs but I'm not sweating it too much because I feel the best I've ever been since starting this whole process. I am six feet tall and sit around 198/199 at the moment. I started this journey at around 340 lbs. I lost 30 lbs before my surgery. I have lots of loose skin on my belly, my thighs, and my arms. Unfortunately, I can't afford skin removal but I'm saving to do my arms next summer. After a while, sometimes you have days where you no longer connect to your old obese self. I have days where I feel huge and ugly still. It's easy to forget where you came from or how far you've come. What helps me is now and then I check my old photos and make comparisons so I can see my progress. The body dysmorphia is so real and something I know most of you if not all can and will relate to. Losing the weight did not fix my body image but it's different for everyone. Some things IT DID improve however: -Improve my joint health (daily knee pain gone). -Took up running. Avid runner now. Have done races and run regularly outside. -Lowered my blood pressure. -Lowered my heart rate. -No longer profusely sweat or turn red from basic activities. -No longer use alcohol and food to cope with anxiety. -So much energy to move and do chores/tasks. -Healed my obsession with food. I love seeing everyone's progress and reading your stories. Getting the surgery is not a fix-all. We have to do the work to eat the right foods in the right portions and get exercise regularly. It's easier the first year but I can tell you it gets harder and harder. Every day is a battle when you're trying to escape obesity. That's not a bad thing. It's rewarding and you learn so much and become a more resilient and deep person. So keep remembering why you did this, where you came from, and how much better life is getting for you!

I made this post in another thread as a response to someone else, and then I realized it's something that might help others after they've had their surgery and find themselves struggling. Maybe you're seeing an increase in hormones all of a sudden...maybe you're discovering there's a lot more work involved in getting and keeping the results you need after having the surgery. Maybe you're struggling to change your relationship with food. Whatever the case is, maybe this will help "I never really had the emotional ups and downs, mostly because at the time I had PCOS, and the influx of estrogen from both my surgeries actually normalized my hormones for a few months each time lol What I DID have, however, is the emotional issues that came with changing my relationship with food. I had NO IDEA that would be a thing lol Changing what you eat, how you eat, when and why you eat, how often you eat is like breaking up with a toxic partner. You've been together for a REALLY long time, and even though you KNOW it's a terrible, unhealthy relationship, it's really all you know and you're so dependent on it you don't think you can function without it. And now you have to figure out how to. You have to completely retrain your brain, learn the difference between true hunger and head hunger (there is an actual, real difference), and you have to learn to read the nutrition labels, track your calories and Protein and carbs, work out, don't cheat (and don't make excuse after excuse and justification after justification for why you went back to the toxic relationship even after you knew it was bad for you, yet still gave in), measure food, track fluids, take HONEST accountability for your actions (which isn't something most of us had been particularly good at) and make adjustments as needed to stay as compliant as possible for the long haul. Contrary to what so many think, there's actually a LOT of work that has to happen after the surgery. The surgery itself is just a tool. It's not a miracle cure. It won't fix all the issues if you don't put in the actual work. Just eating smaller amounts without making any of the necessary changes isn't enough, and that's a hard lesson many learn later on. All of this is such a mind eff, and takes a toll on a person. It's a lot of changes, and a lot of work, thrown at a person all at once. And no matter how ready you think you are, it can still cause so much emotional turmoil, and understandably so. What I, and so many, don't realize is that we all have ED (eating disorders) in order to get to being obese and morbidly obese (or in some cases, super morbidly obese). It's not just anorexia or bulimia. I genuinely didn't know that. We have to retrain our brains to get out of that, and sometimes that requires help, and we have to be ok with getting that help. And because we have to do that, we then get incredibly frustrated and defeated feeling when the weight comes off slower than we thought it would, or we hit stalls (or in my case, stall after stall after stall - which is COMPLETELY normal, by the way, and should be expected). I said all of this to say there's SO many different reasons we can have emotions all over the place. Influx of hormones all at once, changes in relationship with food, changes in routines and increase in the things we don't particularly like doing (or not doing anymore), learning we have to do a lot of work to get and maintain the results we want after the surgery, learning PATIENCE with the rate of weight loss and trusting the process (easier said than done, believe me, I know), realizing that body dysmorphia is REAL and we can and do struggle with seeing ourselves as anything other than our formerly obese selves (I'm 182 pounds and I still see 421 pounds sometimes when I look in the mirror), and of course, hair loss (also COMPLETELY normal, and will eventually stop). You won't go bald, there's nothing to prevent it or stop it, you need to increase your protein, biotin doesn't slow it down, and it's a COMPLETELY normal part of the process that many of us don't know about until it happens and then we freak out. So give yourself some grace and just know this is normal. You're doing great, and we're all here for you, just like everyone was here for me "

Thank you very much! Congratulations to you as well for your successful journey. It's amazing to finally be free of the fat and, more importantly for me, the addiction to food and the total control/power I have over food now. It's seriously my lifelong dream at 55 so staying motivated was baked in.. Thank you again. I am sure I didn't elaborate or explain my reasons enough but actually I am concerned about slowing down the weight loss. I still eat very small portions and am worried it would be hard to sustain on just protein, without carbs. I like my body running more ketogenic than carbed up with the ups and downs of carbs. Without adding fat, and with our malabsorption aspect of the surgery, I am wondering if its possible or not so much..If I am being honest, at 240lbs, I started eating dirtier with carbs to try and stabilize at 240 until I got my knee surgeries, but then just dropped another 20+ within a month and a half or so. My steps and activity increased, small by normal people standards, but a lot for where I have been, after I got another Cortisone shot to the knees. This just illustrates my concern once I reach goal weight and I am rucking, hiking, and lifting. Those three things will be lifelong for longevity and mobility going forward. Obviously everyone is different as far genetically and such, but I have been extremely low calorie, plenty of short fasts up to three days, and have plateaued at certain points during my weight loss, and after doing a refeed with carbs and basically whatever I want to eat, I recharged my metabolism for another huge run of weight loss. The refeed was usually only a couple days to a few days but less than a week. Now with this approach remember I am lifting weights. I mean hard as I can weight lifting 4 days a week. It sucks! Low energy lifting is not fun but the recomp.. I really believe the built-in calorie burn from lean muscle mass is the most efficient way to permanently stay in shape. Male or female doesn't matter. IMHO if your metabolism is slow and you are struggling with the last few pounds, I mean the literally like 5-10 pounds from goal BF, man or woman, start lifting weights. The body recomp will floor you. And that weight or really I think just your body composition after significant weight loss without adding lean muscle mass leaves you looking(Sometimes) like a no muscle bag of skin. Flat. It's not fun but the results.. Anyways thank you for the reply and just to make clear if any of the vets care to weigh in, the WLS gave me the tool, the only tool I will ever need again to lose weight. It's so powerful for me that I need to think about slowing down my weight loss combined with, if possible, being low carb and more ketogenic as a lifestyle choice I prefer. I just don't know if low carb is sustainable without the fat calories. that specifically is what I am looking for. Does anyone prefer low carb/ketogenic after surgery and is it possible? I already realize that fats can be problematic, is anyone doing carnivore after DS Sadi. Not my preference but the only option it seems for low carb without the keto fat plan. Thanks in advance for any tips.

Hi, all. I am just over a month out and losing okay. I've lost 27 pounds. I'm having trouble advancing to the soft foods, in particular meats. I must have a repeat upper GI and possible endoscopy to see what could be going on. My doctor said he's worried about either an esophageal stricture at the stomach or an ulceration. Fun times. I'm sooo tired of protein shakes! I guess that shakes in some quantity will be a part of my life for a while though. I'm so glad to hear that you, Pamela and Lorna Nicole are doing well.

I was never given calories either. Just the 60g protein & that I should be eating about a cup of food by 6 months. I due random checks of calories for my own interest & I was barely eating 900 calories but as @ShoppGirl said there are many factors that influence how many calories you need. Factors like age, gender, height, activity levels, etc. I too suggest getting in contact with your team. They know you best & can advise you better for your needs, Stalls happen & can happen several times. Though we usually say they last 1-3 weeks, it’s not unusual for them to last longer. Out of curiosity do you track your food & know your calorie & macro intake? What are your portion sizes like? Remember too, your portions sizes & number of calories you need do increase as you progress. For example at 18 months I was eating about 1300 to maintain & now at almost 5 years I eat about 1600 to maintain the same weight. And my portions are around 3-4ozs protein & a good cup or more of steamed vegetables.

These friends and family - have they experienced your life and upbringing? Do they have weight issues? Do they have a food addiction? Do they have the medical issues that you have? If the answer to any of those questions is ‘no’, you must ask yourself why you have listened to them instead of going with your gut feelings? It seems that 9 years have passed since you first contemplated WLS and things haven’t improved for you. If simple diet and exercise was enough, none of us would be overweight 🙂 Unfortunately everyone is different, with different bodies, metabolisms, abilities, disabilities, mental blocks, imperfect childhoods etc. Only you can decide on what happens next. WLS is scary, it is a massive decision, one which shouldn’t be taken lightly. You have to decide on what YOU want, what your goals are, what you dream about for your future. This forum is a great place to discuss anything and everything connected to weight loss surgery, the reasons we need it, our fears, our hopes, our wins and our losses. I recommend reading what you can, asking questions if you’re unsure and being completely honest with yourself. You deserve a chance of a better life and a healthy future 🙂

I appreciate your taking your time to reply ❤️ I feel like I'm not communicating my feelings as efficiently as I can. My thoughts about dieting are similar to that of surgery. I feel as though its a punishment because "normal" people don't need to do this. My downfall is comparison- The line of thought is if I were just an average person, I wouldn't be so big in the first place, I could eat what I want and actually not go overboard. I could do so many things differently, in my head. Realistically I know obesity is on the rise so everyone eating what they want is no longer realistic for many. It's more or less wishful thinking at this point. I've been dieting since I was 5, and believe me that does feel like a punishment lol. I see my counselor once a week, because I, like so many, have a lot of trauma in my past. Late last year I checked myself into an outpatient eating disorder program for binge eating, because I was sure that is my problem. After 4 weeks of doing multiple hours long sessions, I was told my issue is not eating enough when I start my day, and then that trigger major hunger later. Truth be told I don't know about all that, I do know I need to heal my relationship with food and I am working on that. All in all, I know I will make it through, I've been working towards surgery since January of this year. It's given me a lot of time for thinking and reflecting. Too much time sometimes, lol. Thanks for hearing me out and all the great insight. I truly do appreciate it ❤️

I have been craving ramen. I am in my soft food stage and I have been looking for some high protein options and the IMMI ramen reviews are just not doing it for me. Recently I came across chef woo ramen on amazon and it’s all plant based protein and I was wondering if anyone has tried it. And if so, how did you like it?

I am scheduled for surgery on May 7th. I am nervous about my relationship to food afterwards. I am old, and was on fen-phen back in the mid-90s before we found out it would kill you. I loved that drug combo because for the first time in my life I didn't think about eating. My brain would literally skitter away from the thought of food, and my roommate would check in with me everyday to make sure I had eaten. I want that feeling again, and I know that's not how this works, but I get mixed responses about whether that constant gnawing sense of hunger will go away. I am packing lip balm and a book, and my old PSP in case I can't focus to read. I am mostly looking forward to ditching a bunch of medication, possibly buying a bike.

This is such a useful reply thank you so much! Amazing that you have been with Spire and have had such a good experience, it is really nice to hear. So far my experience with them has been really good, so I am expecting greatness haha. I am curious to see what they will recommend for my LRD - I am not looking forward to it 🤣 Weird question here, but what are their hospital gowns like? I shall remember some lip balm! Puree sounds awful I can't lie! I also feel weird about broth or bovril and how they will taste...I need to trial. I have the coil and my surgeon said that is all good, so there will be no break (or risk) of pregnancy as I don't need that in my life right now! I have PCOS too so I am also intrigued to see how that may help it. Thank you so much for all of your advice x

Here are some examples of foods that can be enjoyed on most soft diets. Vegetables- soft cooked carrots 🥕, green beans, chopped cooked spinach, cooked zucchini with out seeds, well cooked broccoli 🥦 florets. Fruits- cooked peeled apples 🍎 or applesauce, bananas 🍌, avocado 🥑,peeled ripe peaches 🍑, cooked pears 🍐, puréed fruits. Eggs- cooked whole eggs 🥚 or egg whites, egg salad. Dairy Products- cottage cheese, yogurt, soft cheeses, pudding, frozen yogurt, lower fat dairy products are typically recommended for people recovering from gastrointestinal surgery or illness. Soups- puréed or broth based soups with soft cooked vegetables.

Some of us just need the “extra help” that bariatric surgery can give us. I was a total food addict. Always thinking about my next meal, feeling cheated if I did not have heaping portions and eating until I felt sick. Some of us are just wired like that. It’s not just “push the plate away” or having “will power” I believe it just how we are wired, an addiction. This surgery does change your brain, I’m serious, I don’t plan my day around food and I easily choose healthy foods. I don’t crave junk and sweets. The hair loss is no joke but I knew that was going to happen. I’m 7mo post op and it has slowed down. As far as vitamins .. I take 2 chewy multivitamins and 2 calcium chews per day and a b12 every other week because my b12 level was really high. All other blood work was good. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. I wish you the best of luck on whatever journey you decide to take.