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All of them...including Beer! Sunday we went out to dinner...had two Bloody Mary's while waiting in the bar for our table...... It's a lifestyle...all my skinny friends are not afraid to have alcohol from time to time....but if you are just starting out, you need to develop and get to that new lifestyle...does not happen overnight.

Heather - It's so good to hear from you!! Jump on the wagon with us and we'll take her for a spin! Haydee - your post made me laugh!! No more driving with your left hand!! LOL!! You sound happy! :crying: Kat - You've lost 21#??!!!?! Man! When did that happen, you little sneak!!? Congratulations! I feel SO much better without the carbs!! I really had no idea how much they dragged me down until I stopped eating them. I feel human again. :smile2: Going on Day 3 and feeling strong! I can't really put my finger on it (maybe I can) but it's like ever since I started working the 12 Steps of Al-Anon and going to the meetings where we learn to focus on ourselves (getting our OWN stuff together) rather than the addict/alcoholic, things are just falling into place suddenly.

A fear years ago I switched to stevia from all the other artificial sweeteners. I'll use them if I have NO OTHER CHOICE. I use Stevia. Some people say it has an after taste. It comes from a plant from Asia--I believe. I've grown them in the summer. They love heat and hate cold. I've never processed the leaves into stevia but they have tiny white flowers when they bloom. I don't like artificial sweeteners because I don't know what the chemical combination will do to my body with heavy long term use of them. I've noticed some food companies are advertising their food is sweetened with stevia. I'll buy those products even if they cost more than the chemical sweeteners. I realize most people on a strict budget don't have that option. For my gut flora, I drink a 1/2 bottle of Kombucha every day. It's a fermented beverage that has to be refrigerated. It has a very slight alcohol content and has a vinegar taste. I'm used to the taste, some people can't get beyond it. It is chock full of pro-biotics. The brand I use costs $3.49 a bottle at Whole Foods. So it's not an inexpensive proposition. I also take a pro-biotic capsule twice a day. I find if I get my Water in every day and drink the 1/2 bottle it helps me to not get constipated. Maybe it's just the water consumption and exercise I do but that's my personal experience. Blessings, Kathleen

Well...when life throws you lemons...make a double shot absolut vodka lemonade out of it. Before I get ANY lectures about transfer addiction, I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in almost a year...but today put me over the edge. So I came home and told Lee that I was going to drink my supper tonight. He asked me how that was different from any other night thinking he was funny. I wasn't amused!!! Now I think it is kind of funny...though I think anything is funny right now. So I still haven't heard anything from insurance. I was really hoping some miracle would happen, but I just keep waiting. Well considering that it has taken me a while to type this I think I should probably go. I'll check in when I can feel my tongue! Karri

Steph, if you need another resource let me know and I'll email you my ID & pin # for UM and you can invade their library as well. Home with a migraine. I finally figured out that my students don't know how to read a science book. They just don't know how to transfer their reading a novel skills to reading a science book. So we are stopping curriculum and learning how to read a science book. An example, we are on the 1st page of the reading and I ask the students what is the phrase at the top of the page called (a title) then had no clue, 10 minutes later they still have no clue, so I say, "Okay, if this was a novel what would the phase be called?" Still no clue. After 20 I finally said it is a title. Next question..."What does a title tell us about the section?" 15 minutes later their still don't get that the title is like a main idea. At the end of 45 minutes we had read one paragraph....That's when the migraine started. So tomorrow is a new day, I will NOT get angry, I will NOT grumble, I will smile and say encouraging words and celebrate when they get a small thing right and then I'm going to drink! Remember my 'favorite student' last year. I just hear from a teacher friend in Missoula, the kid just transfer to her school AND to her class. I'm thinking she needs a care package: alcohol to ease the stress, gum, to keep from chewing his head off, and facepaint to paint on a smile when the parents come in and say that she is being unfair because after all their son is perfect Going to take a shower, eat some left overs, figure out how to run my new expresso machine and about 6 tylenol to ease that head. Kari...check your meds. Also check into a full spectrum light or go sit in a tanning bed. Also take some Vitamin D, it helps will stress. Steph, right back at you...you can handle this, I think Michael is playing you a bit. But he could well have attachment issues. Stop beating yourself up, you had to work to feed him, no one is perfect. Work on changing what you can, live with what you can't, and be wise enough to know the difference.

Janet, I missed that about you falling out of the chair, too bad you can't blame it on alcohol! You might be stiff tomorrow, so take some tylenol before going to bed. Phyl Make sure that you tell us the results of your MRI. Yes, if the fever is still spiking you do need to go to urgent care. On the pumpkin recipe, I just followed the pie recipe on the back of the can except substituted 1/2 of egg beaters for the 2 eggs, FF condensed milk instead of regular canned milk, and I used sun crystals for the sugar, but splenda will work as well. For the crust I melted 1 tablespoon of butter in the bottom of the pie plate, and sprinkled Anne's ginger thin crumbs over it, about 8 cookies worth. I think graham cracker crumbs would probably be better, it was a littler gingery, but I like ginger. I baked it at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Like I said, I'd love whip cream on it, but I don't like coolwhip, so its better just to eat it naked. The evening was okay, it just get stressed in a crowd of people I don't know. All my insecurities coming out. Got about 6 boxes unpacked in my sewing room, I don't know if I will ever get it back in shape, it is so much smaller than my old one. But I can always take over one of the spare bedrooms, which I will once the kids decide what they are going to do. I think I'll put my featherweight upstairs this summer, so I can move it outside to quilt if I feel like it. Well, I'm ignoring the trick or treaters, I know, kind of mean, but the furries would have to be locked up if I opened the door to them. Candice, does Canada do halloween?

OMG LOST MY FREAKING POST !!!! Again shorter version Candice - I bet you $100 bucks - stay with me for 2 weeks you would lose 10 lbs !!!! The doors open... Any Time - Phyl - I think we have had the pj conversation before - it's not allowed :0) Hugs on the family medical issues... That's scary - I have 2 freinds who are in the hosptial - one stomach bleeding - the other an alcoholic (rich one) who won't quit drinking - liver issue again.. Maybe Earl is not smoking - I think it's cuz of the new car - he's watching the pennies.. You didn't have a car payment before and now you do.. So he's watching every penny... Candice - Ya sis wrote letter bitching again - not getting bank statements - she should have to co-sign every check I write (ya right) she never said to me she wasn't getting bank statements - I called the bank back in Sept - hopefully they will get a trustee - and this house being sold and I'm done - just want my $$$ for the headache I have had - and yes I have had all the headaches while she sits on her butt and writes letters... Phyl - Earl doesn't want a dog - cuz he has a cat... Get yourself a dog... He will have a whole bunch of aunts this summer :0)

Thanks for the support guys I really appreciate it. And it is Kelly with a y M2 I think a friend is hosting a superbowl party - I am sure it will be a festival of bad for us food so I will do my best to prep for hubby and myself. It is very exciting for our teams to be competing! Best of luck to your Bronco's and I hope that my team will do well - I think it will be quite a show with our strong defense going against your powerful offense. We both know we display seriously addictive behaviors with food - this dysfunction runs in both of our families with obesity, drug and alcohol and co-dependency issues. I have felt better since my venty post - The house is cleaned out of crap and I have had a bit of a mental reboot - I tend to go right to the place where I feel that I am a failure even when I have had incredible success, even though I have yet to hit that elusive goal weight, I need to work on telling myself that I am till a success! Hard work. My husband works out lke a demon an hour a day - 6 days a week. He runs on the treadmill like a contestant on the biggest loser at 16 weeks in, he can run at a full on sprint which he can maintain for quite a while - it is freakishly impressive. I have an old friend from NYC that I met when I lived in the city - she had/has a serious issue with sugar - we would go to the magnolia bakery in the west village and she would order 5 massive pieces of cake - eat them all and then workout like a madman every day so she could eat that way - she looks very fit. I have seen this woman buy two carrot cakes and skin them of their cream cheese frosting like a wild animal. Brent, my husband has said that he is on the "Kendall" plan lol. He tends to follow my lead and I can get militant with keeping our home safe with good foods so I know things will get back to normal. The good thing is experiencing the crazy food thing over the holidays and coming out the other side - I will prepare accordingly. It starts to get rough in September with the kickoff of all of the family females birthdays, each one of us has a birthday mid-month September, October, November, and then we are well into holiday season. So the fall/winter third of the year, when comforty foods and food focused socializing gets going and the weather gets cold and rainy and blah is when it gets harder for me. I think OA is something I will like - I think that one reason that the lapse of our normal program of nutrition and exercise has been so scary is feeling out of control again. It isn't just about the lbs..the weight is the symptom. I spent so long with my head buried in the sand and not taking responsibility for my health that feeling a loss of control is frightening. My resolution for the year has been to work on my resilience....Clarity is another one that seems to be presenting itself again and again. It feels as if I am learning to be a better advocate for myself - with my health, my job (which more and more I realize is a corrupt system - academic/adjuncts, which I wont be able to change.) Healing and mindfulness for all of us Thank you guys for your kind words and thoughts.

Dee - I think that one step at a time is a good approach. I have also been drinking too much wine, I am not sure why exactly. Well, some of it is alot of partying and socializing. I have had both the best summer ever (fun, friends, activities) and a pretty freaking rotten one (death, sadness, that mournful feeling of a whole life just ending in a trainwreck - Betty). So, then maybe the glass of wine also becomes a "decompression" from the pain which is the bad part. Anyway, I don't get drunk and don't feel like an alcoholic, but there really isn't a good reason for me to have a glass or two everyday. I don't wish to quit, but I can cut back and feel good about that. I am now doing that. I personally feel that dependance on junky food is actually worse. I work very hard to keep soothing foods out of my life (ice cream, cakes etc) because they make me feel physically horrible and trigger over eating in general. I am blessed that since the sleeve ice cream makes me "dump" - it is hellish and I tell you cured me of reliance on my favorite "sedation" - ice cream. I know how stressful travel can be - especially when you do it alot like you do (I used to). when I was obese I used business travel as an excuse to basically eat whatever whenever since time zones and plane schedules makes for an even more "disorganized" view then my daily eating life was (it was disorganized already, travel made it worse!). I don't have a good answer, but when I travel now, I put on my "be tough" mindset because it is so easy to fall into overindulgence when I am lonely, stressed and overly tired. Anyway girl, I hope you can turn your work life into something happier. I really believe that having a life you love is one of the keys to success over the long run... and we are likely to live longer too!

The scale was unforgiving, I put on more this week than I did when I went on my 2 week trip to Mexico/ cruise last April. It has shown me how much easier it is to eat the crap and how volume has increased. The good thing is that the cupboards are bare at home and I won't be bringing any snacks or alcohol in for some time. It went on in a week I just have to work at it and see what I can lose in a week.let battle commence..

Yes, I am Sheryl but I answer quite nicely to Jane so don't worry about it! I worked at a restaurant once with fellow waittresses Carol, Merrill, Cheryl and Sherrie - we were always mishearing each other's names...haha! Laura, seriously, how can you see yourself as heavy? I judge us to be quite similiar in size and I am HOT...haha... so by definition you are too! Really, I don't mean to be insulting, but have you considered counseling for body image issues? You look awesome and beautiful. Sarsar - love those pics! You are also quite a beauty!!! Susan, I didn't know you were a revision. My surgeon is an arrogant SOB and one of the things he said was that he "did a really good job" creating my sleeve. What he told me is that sometimes due to the scar tissues left by the crapband (big fat lie it is a completely reversible procedure - it leaves damage!!!) they can't make the "pouch" the same was a virgin sleever. I am not a big religous person and not sure I believe in devine intervention BUT, I think somebody was looking out for me when it came to my sleeve journey. I still sometimes pinch myself to make sure it isn't just a fantasy and I will wake up obese... What I will say is that eating low carb and 5:2 both help me keep that "tight" feeling. When I started going sideways... say about 8 months post op, I was hungrier than I am now. Some of it is mental, I am in a headspace now that I just don't care that much about food and I think low carbing helps with that. I worry that if I ever go completely off the rails, I won't be able to get back, but I do allow myself small quanties of potato or bread or alcohol but basically stay away from other junkie carby food.

Go for it Sheryl! You need to find out how compatible you are with him. Everything is always great at first. You need to the through that honeymoon phase with him and find out who he really is and how you to get along. The only way you can do that is to spend time together. Yes, it's a balancing act, but you said you enjoy being with him. Take dance classes together. They're so much fun when you have an automatic partner. have you ever seen West Coast Swing? Watch it on Utube. It's hard, but that means a lot of lessons. East coast is easy. I find Salsa and the Hustle to be really easy too. There should be a place that offers a few weeks of this and a few weeks of that. And why would he not go horse back riding? John has turned into an ass. He's always tired, works too much, and basically has about 2 hours where he's off work, eats dinner watches some tv and falls asleep. I have been avoiding him. Maybe I should try welbutrin. I am extremely depressed about the weight, and the time, it's going to take to get back in shape. Doctor said it's a one year recovery from this surgery! Yikes! I am going to go out on a date with Owen, who is the alcoholic. he's so cute, and I was really falling for him, when he majorly screwed up. He's been staying sober, and wants to take me to dinner in a couple of weeks when he comes in from Tuna Fishing. Why not . I have nothing better to do. Then he will go home to his place which is an hour away, so I have no desire to drive that far but if he's willing to, I'll see how things go as far as another dinner. Sheryl I can't believe how we're both in the same boat. I've lost so much muscle, and I have no way of doing weight training again for months. I hate that none of my clothes fit. I have a muffin top, and my thighs are much bigger. I am not supposed to diet while I am waiting for the bone to graft. UUGG!

Hi Everyone, I had to catch up on around 5 pages of posts and don't remember what everyone wrote! :redface: Dex is adorable, congratulations! Ali, don't you have a sleeve? I was told no pills at all until after my 1 month checkup. They said not to risk injuring my staple line, even at three weeks. OA - I was a member till a few years ago. I started in 1989. I think that my years in 12 step really prepared me to deal with surgery and following the rules. I find the food plan to be the easiest part of post-op. As far as Higher Power, mine was the Bay Laurel tree in my front yard. Power bigger than me. I looked at the tree and said, yup, you're bigger, you're it! You don't have to have a sponsor to be in OA but finding the right fit is wonderful. For years I worked with a woman in her 80's who was a retired drug and alcohol counselor. It was fabulous. I think the 12 steps are a great way to live. I still have all of my materials and look at them on occasion and talk program with my best friends that I met 20 years ago in OA. John, Monday is our 3 month anniversary. I have an appt with Dr. Baggs on Friday for my three month checkup. My lab work looks good but they didn't do some vital tests. I still struggle with the weight loss. Sleeve is not an easy fix. I have to exercise 60-90 minutes, 7 days a week to be guaranteed a 1 pound loss. Eating 600-700 calories, every bite logged in myfitnesspal. com. Less than 30 carbs a day which come from dairy and calcium chews. I go to at least 1 support group meeting each week, sometimes 2 a week to stay connected to my plan. I walk at least 1-2 times a week with other WLS folks. I'm still barfing up my vitamins and sometimes my food which is all protein. If I attempt 1/3 cup protein and then a little lettuce or spoon of fruit, it gives me a little surprise of saying hello again. As far as the question asked about hunger, I've been hungry since Day 10. I eat and I'm hungry a couple hours later but not so bad that I can't wait until 4 hours to eat again. It's a different hunger, not head hunger but stomach hunger. 200 calories 3x a day isn't that much food. I'm careful to keep it to meat, dairy or seafood because it offers the most protein per 3 oz serving. It's nothing like being hungry pre-op and it takes so little to satisfy my physical hunger. For those of you getting your fills, big big big congratulations! Wishing you so much success. Pat, those 16 and 18's that I got from you are getting too big, but some fit and I love them. :smile2: Ash, congrats on your surgery date! Can't wait till you're on the Loser's Bench. I read somewhere on Obesity Help that Kaiser Southern California is discontinuing the LapBand and going to RNY and Sleeve. Who knows, Richmond may follow suit at some point. I wonder if they'll be more open to revisions at that point? There's very few banders at the support group these days. Time to walk the lake, have to run. This afternoon is the Obesity Help support group at San Leandro Hospital if anyone is interested. I'm planning to be there. Have a fun weekend!

Hey ladies & gent Riley - call your book "Alcohol with Lap Band" Oaklander... Welcome to the group! You will get weighed and that will be your starting weight - wear heavy shoes & eat BFast first. DON'T BE LATE OR THEY WILL NOT LET YOU IN. You will find out who your surgeon is and get your first appt date by the end of orientation. Be sure to put that you are completely open on the questionnaire they give you - that way you will get the earliest appt available. Liz & Nicole just had orientation and had their surgeon appts and hour later!! I have THE Doc Fisher and have to say that he is the best (compared to what others have said) with getting all the gas out - I had zero pain after surgery - and my incisions/scars look really small & straight! Warning: He is a little more harsh on the initial weight loss requirement but it's all worth it. All the Doctors are good at what they do but some have different specialties - If you read back you will see that I had big issues about the scars because some I've seen aren't too pretty but The Doc does a really good job with that. I haven't had a fill yet with him - oh, and he typically puts in 4cc's at surgery - except for me cuz of my big ass hernia he had to fix (swelling). FYI: All of the surgeons push/advocate for the RNY/Bypass surgery so do your research, be sure the band is what you want and let them know that!

Oh Janet, you've had nothing but visitors and FAMILY the last while (hugs to you) have you started becoming an alcoholic yet!!! :thumbup:

Hey Karla, the wedding sounds like it was so fun... I`m glad you got out and about!! And makeup too!!! You go girl!!!! Rotten about the leak problem.... I thought that was all fixed? or was it just because you`d had alcohol? I know i have less control when I drink..... Did anyone ttake a picture of YOU!!??? If so we wanna see it GF.... Linda: where are you girl??? pictures are up on FB if there are any you don`t like, tewll me and I`ll delete Love and hugs, ^Peaches?

Good Evening Gang... Candice - LOL O'doul's - when pple try to give me a water down drink when I am drinking - i tell them put more alcohol in it - I am one of those drinkers who think they can drink all nite - cuz I use to - but again back then I had help from those things called diet pills - could drink all night and not get falling down drunk - I know you all don't think I'm as much of a drinker - not on a daily basis - but like when I go out - I can drink too much.. But I'm a fun drunk ;0) Love the $$$ saved by making ice that's cute... Hopefully pple will help you clean up - I know when my gf has a party pple are always helping clean up.. Karla - Yes you will be set free from letting go of all that junk that you are never going to have time to do... We have the same problem here in CA with # of kids in a class - I'm sure glad I don't have any kids in school.. Hugs you will survive So are you going to take a yoga class ?? Good for you... Well not much to report - back from the gym - boot camp tonite - then started my dinner - a one pot wonder - I didn't eat veggies last night so I have to get them in tonite. Tried to teach Bella to walk on a leash - but it's freaking hot - car said 119 at 6:30... Its the hottest it's been all summer - I can usualy go out at this time of nite and be ok not sweat - but tonite - hell no - we will practice more later.. Steph - How are you doing... How's Michael - is everyone ready for school to start - how's the house cleaning going Phyl - will be glad when you have regular internet - we sure do miss you.. Denise we haven't heard from you in AGES..

Ladies, if you buy only one appliance this year, I have the one you need...a steam mop!!! ShopKo had them for half off so I splurged and got one. OMG, my floors feel so good!!!! Just make sure you buy extra pads, because when you are part way done, you are going to want to change. It even takes caked on hairspray off the bathroom floor. Now understand I probably haven't mopped my floor since January. But it is fabulous!!! Little homework tonight, yeah!! Found out an old neighbor of mine has been moved to a constrant care facility and the family never told me. I found out she has been in the facility 1 1/2 blocks away from my house. So I stopped by and visited. Unfortunately she has dementia, but remembered who I was. Got me mixed up with my girls once in awhile. But I am so glad to know she is near by. I use to go over every week and give her shots, have coffee, and do any chores that she couldn't do. With last year being such a wreck I lost touch...my fault. Now maybe I can take her out for coffee once in awhile or have her over. I'll have to check with the family before hand thought. Hope you all have a good evening. Janet, what work out is tonight? Phyl, enjoy your visit. Candice, hopefully you found alcohol!!!

They still have sugar alcohol in them

Published on SelfGrowth.com (http://www.selfgrowth.com) Does it really matter why? By Stephen Hosaflook On Tuesday, July 13, 2010 - 14:03 As a recovering obese person I’m starting to question all this examining, digging, and analyzing of WHY people are obese. That there’s some deep dark secret we’re hiding that causes our obesity. Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser, and now her own show, Losing it with Jillian, is a big proponent of digging into people’s sordid pasts and trying to find that deep dark secret. I love Jillian, The Biggest Loser, and Losing it with Jillian. She cares and I understand what she’s trying to do. But how is understanding why, if there is a why, going to help us at that critical moment when we’re faced with that piece of apple pie a-la-mode? When it comes right down to it, we’re still going to have to make the choice. Do I eat this or not? And if I do, is it because my dad ignored me all those years ago? Or was it my mom and dad’s divorce when I was 6 years old that’s going to cause me to eat this pie and ice cream right now? What we do right now, at that critical moment of temptation, has nothing to do with what happened a hour ago, yesterday, or 20 years ago. I just don’t agree with that. Don’t get me wrong. I feel for people who’ve had horrible pasts. Do our problems weigh on us? Sure they do. We all carry tremendous burdens and hurts from the past and possibly even yesterday. People can dredge up all kinds of painful events from our past. And it might even help diagnose something. But how long are we going to use those past events as excuses for overeating or being obese? This has made me wonder how Jillian would handle me. Okay, I’ll bite for just a moment here and make public three of my own past and current troubles. Could these three things be the reasons why I’m a recovering obese person? Let’s see…here I go, #1…When I was 10 years old and in the fourth grade, it was mandatory for all fourth graders to take swimming lessons at the local High School. We had 30 kids in our class. Mrs. Gilligan was the teacher. For twelve weeks we boarded a bus every Wednesday and went to the pool to learn how to swim. At the end of the program, I was the only one in the class who didn’t learn how to swim. I was afraid of going in water over my head. Well, believe me, I was the butt of some unbelievable hazing from my classmates. Even Mrs. Gilligan let the whole class know how disappointed she was in me. That’s pretty traumatic for a ten year old, don’t you think? But I don’t think about that anymore. Well, until just now. #2…My brother was an alcoholic and passed away about a year and a half ago. To this day I harbor tremendous guilt about not doing enough to stop this tragedy… maybe not being tough enough. I enabled him, to keep the peace in the house. I thought him seeing me change would give him the will to change. It didn’t. Why didn’t I do more? This is very stressful but it’s just another thing I have to live with, and I think about it a lot. #3…Currently I'm the caregiver for my elderly ill parents. It's my role now and I fully accept it. This was the single most important reason for me retiring this past March. I put in my thirty plus years and the timing was right. I need to be home as much as possible now. But at times it feels like I'm trapped. I still do things but traveling is out of the question now. I can't go on a golf vacation like I used to, let alone be away overnight anymore. I love my mom and dad more than anything in this world...it's not their fault. Sometimes it seems unfair though. See, I'm looked at as being the "Rock" of my family. I'm the oldest and I'm expected to do everything, say all the right things, and be responsible for anything and everything. I'm never allowed say no and I can’t defend myself when people think I make a wrong or unpopular decision. Even though I’ve willingly accepted this as my responsibility and wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s still very stressful at times. Now that’s a lot of baggage, but no more and probably a lot less than some other folks have. But okay, I said it. You made me say it Jillian! You wanted to drag some baggage out of me so you can say… “Now we know why you’re fat Steve. Now we can fix you.” Sorry, I disagree. I think I’ve got this one figured out though. And no analyzing needs to be done. See, what it all boils down to is this... no matter how many horrible and traumatic events I haul out of my past or current life, I can't use any of those things as an excuse to over eat right now. As tough as those things are some days, as much of a weight as they can be on my shoulders...I cannot use them to say something like this... "It's just too much for me today and I can't handle it! Everybody laughed at me when I was 10 years old and afraid of the water. I just didn’t do enough to help my brother. I'm all alone here with no help… so I'm going to sit down, relax, and reward myself with a big bowl of ice cream because I deserve it!" When I’m sitting there staring at that bowl of ice cream or that piece of apple pie with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream on it, am I thinking about those three things? No, I’m thinking how good that stuff looks and whether I should dive into it or not. Will thinking about my baggage make me start eating it or give me the strength to throw it away? No, because I’m not thinking about my baggage at that moment. I’m just thinking about what’s sitting there in front of me. Now, if I CHOOSE to, I can use all of those things as excuses. But all I’ve really done is cooked up in my own mind a reason to justify my binge eating. See how easy it is to do? So why do I want to think about why? It’s tough enough to say no to that garbage in the first place. In my humble opinion, we all do what we really want to do. Past or current experiences can’t make us do anything. Cruel and uncaring people from a day ago or 30 years ago can’t make us do anything. We make our own choices right now and we do exactly what we want to do right now. It doesn’t matter why we choose to do it…we just choose to do it. How decisive are we? Are we committed or are we just involved. “Want to be decisive? Start by deciding to live. Getting dead is mandatory, living is a conscious choice.” Now, both of those things are decisive, but only one is mandatory. Do we decide to give up...or do we decide to fight? I found that particular quote while I was looking for one I could use to explain the commitment needed to achieve our weight loss and maintenance goals. This is a pretty cool one too about a chicken and a pig and breakfast. Here it is... “The chicken was involved in creating your breakfast; the pig was committed.” That raises a couple of questions...Are we committed to our goals? Or just involved with them? And what excuses are we using to stop us? I heard a new one today… “My food addiction is an inherited family behavior.” Are you kidding me? When is this madness going to stop? Face it, we're all here because we want to lose weight and keep it off. Knowing what we want and how we think we can achieve it is having a strategic vision. That’s helpful, even necessary, but not enough for success. We can have a vision without commitment; that’s called a dream. Not even involvement is enough to make dreams come true… we have to be committed. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes. We have to be willing to commit our soul to this task. The problem with this sometimes is not everyone will understand or appreciate our focus. There will be those who "try" to give us an out. Or those who'll even be jealous of our commitment to success. Some may even fear we're leaving them behind so they'll lay a guilt trip on us. These are things we can use as excuses too. This is upsetting for many of us because we really do want to succeed. If you're like me, you'll even want to take those family members and friends by the hand and say to them... "Come with me, we'll all be successful together." They may not be ready yet, but that shouldn't stop us. We can't let that stop us! Whatever it is you like to use as an excuse, break free from that. I battle using my guilt and anger as excuses. And when I do, I have to make a conscious choice...am I really committed or am I just involved? Am I willing to be the pig and commit all? Will I risk being called a name or two, or allow a guilt trip to be laid on me in order to get what I really want? Or will I just be an involved excuse making chicken? Author's Bio 53 year old retired school custodian 4 time loser of 100 pounds or more Author of soon to be published book... LION UNLEASHED: A Journey of Weight Lost and Courage Found Fulltime caregiver for elderly ill parents Owner of weightloss and maintenance website... http://www.lionunleashed.com I'm not a doctor, nutritionist, dietician, certified physical trainer, or psychologist. I'm an average Joe. I've battled weight issues my whole life and I just want to help save at least one other person's life, like someone helped save mine. All I can offer is my personal lifelong experiences and my personal plan of taking off the weight and trying to keep it off. There are many ways to get from point A to point B. My way is just one in a thousand. The important thing is to find YOUR way and stick to it. My site and my book are dedicated to helping all my obese brothers and sisters who battle weight loss and maintenance issues every single day. Together we can do it. Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/does-it-really-matter-why

Good Evening Gang.. Linda you are too nice - I'm called the Simon Cowell of LBT ;0) Welcome MSampson - Congrats on your 79 lbs gone !!! Yep dear it's all about eating healthy - that the key - diets don't work - that's so very true !!! You have to eat healthy and exercise.. As Linda said - being too tight cause us to eat sliders that are usually higher in calories. Go back to the basic = Google the 5 day pouch test - it's liquids like for 2 days then soft for a day or 2 then back to regular - I haven't ever done it - but a few pple have - For the 1st year - I kept a food/exercise diary (I counted calories 800-1200 daily and varied them)- I weighed and measured my foods (for the first few month) I still pull out the scale for somethings even today. Always eat your protein 1st - then veggies - then starch if you do have any room Make sure you eat low fat - limit starches - and mostly sugar free.. I still eat off dessert plate and use small spoon and fork.. Get out and walk - start slow then every couple of weeks increase your speed and distants - I lost the majority of my weight my walking on the treadmill - lost the last 30 by weight training and treadmill. I still weight train and now am into classes at the gym - boot camp - yoga - pilos - for the last couple of weeks I have been to the gym 5-6 days.. Yep I have my food demons - I will be physically full - but my brain wants more food - Sugar is my heroin - I eat mostly sugar free - but every now and then I want a reeses peanutbutter cups - - well in the past I would buy a bag of candy and eat it all in one night - now - I buy 1 candy bar and no more.. I don't keep foods in my house that I can't say no to - why that's self sabotage.. We are food addicts... You wouldn't leave a bottle of booze on the counter if you were an alcoholic.. I eat the same way I did when I 1st got my band - I am not dieting - I eat healthy food - I eat tons of fish (known for being the fish queen) I eat veggies every meal and I will save my starches for nights when my will power is the lowest.. I eat an ice cream almost every night - it's a sugar free fudgescile or sf pudding I budget my calories to compensate for when I am the hungriest (night) I'm attaching a sample menu.. You can do this - you just have to make up your mind that you want to get healthy (our brains are where are real problems w/food lies not our stomachs) You deserve a healthy life - you deserve to take care of you - You need to love yourself - and that doesn't mean killing your self w/food cuz that's how you love yourself - we all have been there - food is our comfort - it's our love - it's our reward for taking care of everyone else.. So Pull up the bootstraps - the past is the past - can't change it - but you do have control over what you put in you mouth - So starting right now - get rid of the junk in the house (throw it away - or give it to your local shelter) sit down make a menu - shop for the foods on that menu - count calories read the labels - get out and walk - and when you want to eat get on lbt post - go clean out a drawer - get up and distract yourself - And I bet you in 1 week you will come back and tell us the scales are moving in the right direction.. Sample Menu.doc

Good Morning Gang I got to sleep in this morning - in fact if bear hadn't woke me up I might still be a sleep.. Phyl - Thanks you are too sweet - dinner was my normal dinner thought you and Earl would love to eat what I eat on a normal night ;0) - I like it :0) enough to eat it for 29 months - I do variations to the fish but - it's my dinner and it's easy.. I was just thinking when I 1st woke up I should have made Earl a little bag to take home - Well it's it the fridge (I don't like cold choc) I had what was on the little plate last night but no more - I wanted more - but like I said I don't like cold choc so I am safe for now :0) I know the curve you are speaking about - I have seen a couple of 1 car accidents there - yep driving too fast You can make horduvers (sp) with the dates - wrap bacon around them - broil them - My Mom use to do that when they entertained ;0) - I bet your Canadian friends will love them. Ok gang we need to exchange Addresses for Xmas cards and dog bones - & I want the black/white cookie ;0)... I will send out an email - and we can give do a card exchange ;0) Candice - Your letter was fine really - but I have always been told not to send stuff when you are in a huff - I have written many of them - just writing them can be enough for me - I usually don't send them - I am not as diplomatic as you - I have to be really careful or I would be fired and I can't do retirement yet :0) - I need my health insurance and I need to be able to shop ;0) Karla - I picked needy ones then got over that and picked a controling one - thought I was making a good choice - he didn't do drug/alcohol - owned his own house and had his own car (all prior bf had nothing and usually a drug issue) and it still wasn't a good choice - he was a control freak ;0) had great qualities too - he did take care of me like earl does phyl but the other stuff like being jealous of my kids - giving me crap for being 5 min late from work or hanging w/gf - just was too much for me.. This yr when pulling out my xmas decorations - I had a box of like oldtime decorations - for the last 5 yrs my tree was done in a diff color - but this yr felt like the color stuff - I miss the tinsel though.. There was one xmas in 98 where I didn't decorate at all.. Well need another cup of coffee - don't know what I am going to do today - suppose to go karakoe w/my trainer tonite - I may just start wrapping - don't feel like getting dress right now and won't be going to the gym - knee is giving me problems CBL

Good point, kagoscuba. All of us who are either recovering from or trying to kick our dependencies on our destructive pleasures, whatever these may be - alcohol, tobacco, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, computer fun, etc - are cut some slack whenever we backslide for it is generally recognised that the human relationship to pleasure is a complicated thing and that it is not easy for us to get ourselves unstuck. Birth control, even for those of us who are diligent, does not always work. I myself can attest to this. And as for this biz that those chicks who don't want babies can simply keep their legs shut, well, life ain't so easy as that. If you accept that humans share much with other animals you will acknowledge that sex is one of those very basic drives, clocking in behind only food and shelter. Women engage in sex for all kinds of reasons, one of which has to do with our reproductive, a species friendly act, hardwiring. Another reason why women engage in sex is that it makes them feel good on both an emotional and a physical level. The act of sex does release some pretty nice brain chemicals which produce good feelings in a grrl. Good feelings in much the same way that stuffing your face with carbs and sugars, doing a drug fest, smoking a cigarette, drinking too much, gambling, going on a shop-fest will also make an addict feel good. Women also engage in sex for more complicated, more human reasons than merely wanting the short term bio-chemical high. Women often feel themselves unlovely, unloveable, and unloved. They may engage in sexual exploration while attempting to sort out their own issues. This is why I don't feel that anyone should attempt to place this horribly complicated human issue into any splendidly tidy box. Let us admit that men and women will f*ck. Let us also admit that some of these women but none of these men will be left holding the bag even though both parties may well have been afflicted by the same and equal desire.... There are some of us women who feel that this inequity is not right. And then let us imagine, if you want to argue that the foetus is human from the get-go, that we are in a forest and that there is an argument between the survival of the old growth oaks and that of the acorns and the tiny sapplings. Well, you know that most of that new growth is not going to survive, is it? This is how I feel when I contrast the needs of the individual who is already alive and fully cognisant against something which is in effect an acorn. This is an issue of rights and I believe that the rights of the fully sentient and currently suffering creature trump those of the acorn. Of course, in an ideal world there are no birth control screw-ups and all women who are trapped in unwanted pregnancies are both capable and willing to commit 9 months of their time, physical, and financial resources in order to bring these to term and will happily and easily pass on their infants to anxious couples who have none of their own. This would be cool but real life is much messier and more painful than this.

I know my value system, I however don't feel the need to thrust it onto others - and a slam to my morals on an Internet Forum has zero impact on me. Now if my Priest or Husband has issues w/those values, I would have to re-examine myself a great deal. The constant misconception that those who are Pro Choice are in favor of using abortion as a form of birth control - is just plain wrong. Alcohol is legal, people abuse that. Guns are legal, people abuse them too. Many things that are legal get abused - but they are in the minority...but get the press. Stick to your statement - no one here to tell you otherwise. Cheers~

SSDiva: I am so impressed with your ability to express your thoughts and feelings. Some people thought that "The Passion of the Christ" was a wonderful, marvelous, fantastic movie. I believe it exploited the story of Jesus for profit and to try to shame people into feeling badly about how He was treated. The guy (Mel Gibson, an alcoholic - probably with horrible guilt and demons of his own) who made the movie, must feel really good about all the graphic flying flesh and blood that he blew up for the big screen. It was one of the most gory, graphic movies that I've ever seen. It made me want to vomit. I didn't feel guilty, I felt disgust toward the person responsible for such an exploitative vehicle. I also want to vomit when some people try to pull the same profitable stunt by carying placards with bloody photos of dead fetuses outside abortion clinics. They are hoping to guilt women into bearing children that they are unable to love, nurture and take care of. In fact, many of those anti-choice, anti-abortion, anti-compassionate people will use any means to try to convince people that abortion is a hideous, horrific, bloody, painful, regretful, murderous act. They want to believe that each and every woman who chooses abortion will be plagued for life with visions of death and blood and gore over that choice. What balderdash! They believe the ends justify the means, so it's okay for them to use ridiculous "parallels" equating slavery to abortion, or any other thing they can so that they may be able to shock people into believing that abortion is the murder of a living, breathing, viable human being, and not a relatively simple medical procedure that should be made available as a choice. Listen, science is science, and nature being what it is, women must absolutely MUST have it in their power to terminate a pregnancy that threatens their lives. I find it one of the most ironic things in the world that anti-choice people don't care one whit about a woman whose birth control has failed, or who has been raped, or who is simply not able to healthily carry a child to term - for any reason. They care about the baby because the baby has no voice of his own. Uh right, sure. Well what they don't get and never will get is that they have no right, NONE, to interject their wishes upon that baby or that mother. The only person with that right is the mother. That is because without the mother the child doesn't exist. The child is dependent upon the mother-host for it to have any chance for survival. Interjecting themselves between a mother and a fertilized egg while it is in the mother's uterus, is ludicrous. We have had that kind of law in place before and the result was horrific. Like I said, this thing may not go quietly away with a change in the Oval Office, but believe me, many, many of us will never put up with the government interjecting itself into women's uteruses again. By the way, you made an excellent point about legislating bodily functions. What if we passed a law that said that the government gets to decide when and if a woman can have a baby? What if we were so overrun with children that it threatened our planet? What if women were compelled BY LAW to HAVE abortions? Well, if you can force a woman to have a baby, it isn't too much of a stretch to say that we can force a woman NOT to have a baby, given the right circumstances. Neither scenario would be right or good. We just won't stand for it. Nor should we. Thank you for your passionate and thoughtful post, SSDiva. We must stay united to ensure that women never become just a commodity in this country.