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Today (day 3 of 5-day pouch diet) B – plain omelet (ick) L – white fish patty (ick) S – 3oz tuna w/ 1tsp light mayo (ick) D – salmon patty (double ick) I’m sick of patties and getting sick of the 5 day pouch diet. I’m hungry too often after eating nothing except liquid and soft foods. I guess that’s the idea to teach you not to eat them. Tomorrow is more solid protein so maybe it will be better. I think I’ve learned my lesson. I promise to stay out of the Sun Chips! I was limiting the portion to a ½ serving but it’s still not something that I should be eating every day. I wasn’t even eating them because I liked them so much as because they were easy to eat, which I know is the WRONG reason to eat something! I have a question for everybody..... All day I ate foods that I really didn’t want because that’s what I had on hand that worked for day 3 of the pouch diet. This caused me to ask myself what I really DID want to eat, but I just didn’t know. That's why I started reading this thread, because I thought maybe I'd see something that sounded good. This afternoon a friend told me she went for sushi which used to be my favorite food above all other foods. I realized today that I no longer care about eating sushi or really anything. This is a big thing for a person who used to go crazy craving sushi and would have happily eaten it every day. I tried to think of what my favorite food is now that it apparently isn't sushi, but I came up blank. I couldn’t think of a single food that I couldn’t live without. Yes, of course I want to eat and food still tastes good, but it just isn’t the same. I don’t get the same pleasure from food that I used to get. I get a little pleasure, don’t get me wrong, but it’s definitely not at the level it used to be. I suppose it’s because I can only eat tiny amount of it and typically causes me at least a little discomfort. Most of the time it isn’t painful but the band does make me aware that it is there and I dislike the feeling of food slipping past it. I believe my changed attitude towards food is due to the negative reinforcement from the band. It’s not a bad thing at all. In fact for a food addict like me it’s probably the best thing that I could do to break my addiction. It’s exactly like an alcoholic taking Antabuse, which makes them sick if they drink alcohol. I’m not sure now that I’ve come to this realization how I feel about it. Do I miss my old buddy, food? Maybe, but I’m caring less and less about the loss. Has anybody else noticed the same loss of interest in food?

We can do it, Laura! I'm detoxing. Turns out that I'm mid-cycle now and the weight jump isn't too surprising, nor is the desire to snack. Was back to my same 'ole number this morning. The very day after I reported my loss here I bounced back to the number I've been pretty constantly seeing (142.4) for several weeks now. I got a little up, go a little down, but I always settle right back here. Dang it. At least I'm not up like yesterday. So, confession: I've been logging my food at the end of the day instead of at the start of the day. This is not working for me! So today, I already have my food planned out. I am drinking two Protein Shakes today and eating Protein heavy meals all day. I'm hoping to kick the carb cravings - I got some bad habits while the kids were here because they eat a lot of snack foods we normally don't have in the house. Why can I walk past an entire container of homemade Cookies or danishes but not a bag of salt and vinegar chips? All that stuff is leaving the house - usually it's not here, if we want chips, I make them. So the processed stuff needs to leave because right now I'm having a hard time staying away from it all. Introduce any stress and it gets much harder for me to abstain. Sure, I only eat a handful of chips. But I do it EVERY day. That can't be good. Secretly, I'm scared that one day I'll just lose my mind and hide in a closet and eat them all. The fact that it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it can't happen. There is no longer a skinny woman inside me screaming to get out. There's a fat woman inside me and she wants the food. ALL OF IT. So I have to shut her up with protein shakes. chocolate ones. I've got my limits. Anyway, I'm also curbing my coffee intake. I've been drinking quite a bit of it and want to see how I feel without it. You know, besides tired. And I'm proud to say that once I decided a few weeks ago to stop using alcohol daily I have only had a drink here or there. Nothing regular and there's no time of the day where I just feel like it's beer or wine time and I need a drink. This is a good thing. Hope everyone is well. Happy Weekend! We're dragging the kids off to tot Shabbat (ugh...as if spending an hour with thirty other kids six and under wasn't bad enough we're doing it outside in the muggy buggy woods) because hubs insists and I've been finding excuses not to go for the last two months. Ah well, I knew it couldn't last. ~Cheri

Just reading this thread today has been a journey with so many emotions. It just goes to show, everyone has a story. And as I read each response, especially about the fatsuit, the use of food, I think, "we sound exactly like recovering alcoholics or drug users" Avoid people and situations that we frequented in our "using" days, avoid triggers... fall off the wagon, get back on, abstinence ... This VST support group, you guys, are invaluable. So much awful has happened in the last year and a half; lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, lost my father, lost my home, audited by the IRS, deployed to Afghanistan, death and destruction all around, fear, and now my health. There are 6 people in my world who know this, you will be the 7th en toto. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, also known as MS. That is the real reason why I went to Germany, we don't have MRI capabilities here. I am 31. Devastated is a paltry word, not nearly covering what I have felt since the soft diagnosis July 17th or the confirmed dx on September 23rd. Bereft, grief-stricken, angry, depressed, hopeless, angry, sad, flat, scared shitless. While I was in Germany I had good commercial internet access, wifi, and I was able to spend a lot of time on YouTube, looking up people's video diaries about life with MS, treatment, etc. That is how I discovered Dr. Terry Wahls and her protocol. I encourage you all to look up her TedTalk on Youtube. It's not just that she started eating salads and voila her MS is gone. No. But being a Dr., and being willing to experiment on herself, and having nothing to lose, she started doing her research. She wrote a book called Minding my Mitochondria (god how I wish I could get that book). Long story short, she was confined to a tilt recline wheelchair and now rides horses through the rockies and rides her bike to work every day. So, I'm stuck here because if I were sent home, where would I go? I have no home, I truly am homeless. If I were sent to the US, I would be unemployed, which means no health insurance. Because of the IRS I now have no nest egg to fall back on. Bizarre as it may seem, I am getting better support and care out here than I would be in the US. And so I do what I can to attempt to follow the Wahl's Protocol. It calls for 9 cups of veggies a day, all colors, sulfurus. No wheat, dairy, soy, or corn. Obviously no sugar. Lots of omega 3 rich foods, B6,B12, and D, grass fed hormone free etc. organ meats, seaweed or other iodine rich foods, and electrotherapy for muscle stimulation. MS is a neurological condition which, more and more, Drs are starting to realize a link between neuro and autoimmune disorders, which in turn they are discovering are linked to gut health/permeability. So it may all have started with Leaky Gut Syndrome, I don't know. All I know is that at 31 yrs old, I had only just one beautiful year of living, post VSG. One year of being a real woman with potential and a future and life and beauyty. The song from Rent, "will I lose my dignity" keeps running through my head, ..."will I wake tomorrow, from this nightmare?"

Hi guys! Just caught up and I am so glad I am up to date with this busy thread - I get busy during the day and tell myself I need to login or I am going to have a heck of a time catching up - I am sure is it the same for us all. Okay first off - does anyone have our list of names - I spent 45 minutes one day trying to dig through our massive thread and find it to no avail - I would be hugely grateful if anyone could share Or even give me an idea of what number of pages it might be located. Coops thanks so much for the Amazon link to the menopause book - I am going through it though I still am having somewhat regular periods - gonna be 50 this year in October woo It really feels like an emotional rollercoaster somedays - just like I have lost my mind haha. Beautiful corsets ladies - Feed and Jane you look lovely! I am still getting used to having anything touch my middle with clothing - I spent so long in tent-sized clothing, right at the edge of 5x and needing specialty clothes that I think that only now am I realizing what clothing that actually fits looks and feels like - even things that fit perfectly sometimes make me feel very exposed and afraid people will stare and make fun on me (when my squishy is very well hidden in clothes.) As hubby says "no more hobo clothes" (you must image the little designer from The Incredibles saying this lol.) Sarah - I am so sad to hear that your dear friend is struggling with drugs. My ex before my husband, whom I was with for many years was a recovering heroin addict - we lived in NYC and I experienced him falling off the sobriety/clean wagon which was agony for all of us around him (an episode of Intervention is about the level of madness I am talking about). I also grew up in a home with alcoholic family members - I seriously believe I am an addict with food - its just my drug of choice. Know that she is the one who has to want it - no matter what, she will be the one that does it for herself. I know that if I can quit smoking after 28 years of 2 packs a day then anyone on the face of this earth can stop their addictions too. One day at a time. That same partner also came out of the closet during that time - (I call this time my floral dress era - desperately trying to feel pretty again) and within a year he had contracted AIDS - he is still living with aids but doing much better - living in L.A. and seems happy. I feel like I dodged a serous bullet with that one. Speaking of one day at a time - I went to my very first Overeaters Anonymous meeting last weekend. I enjoyed it very much and plan to keep going - I was inspired by the honesty and sharing of the group - when I spoke I bawled like a little baby haha (maybe its those pesky menopause demons) and the group was very accepting of the fact that I had surgery - they were very interested in hearing about my experience. There were big folks and little ones - many had lost 100's of lbs and gained them back - some had maintained - just like all of us. I will check out other meetings around my area and see what those are like - it felt like a good reboot and have been seriously detoxing from the sugar since that meeting last Saturday. Here's a question, what are your guys bounces ranges and how to do determine them? Florinda - I am sorry you felt that you had to conceal your losses, but I am thrilled that you have lost your regain and then some! Learning to be kind to ourselves is just as big a part of all of this as anything. Lets all work on seeing how far we have come - I know I look to all of you as wonderful, inspiring successes, each and everyone one I can confide in and reveal the best and worst - the hardest of my struggles. I had great success off the bat with 5:2 then have struggled a lot with the holidays - it is my own fault really - it has been an orgy of baked carbs...I never used to like this stuff, but now it is the easiest thin to crunch up and goes down easy -I then I get lightheaded and woozy, oftentimes sick...just like a needle in the arm lol. I never got a goal weight from my docs or nutritionists, but one of them did mentioned that he thought I would end up at around 175. So that has been my upper limit with this recent gaining frenzy - or I should say that is my freak out weight lol. My husband just wants me to be happy at any weight around where I am - he seems to love my body - squishy and all - trying to come around to his viewpoint. I have noticed that cutting out even a bit of the sugar has helped tremendously this week with cravings - I have a milk issue with lattes, and when you get right down to it milk is a carb/sugar even if it is loaded with good stuff - I swear I would go drink milk from a cow on the side of the road if it was an emergency haha. I feel very successful at not having latte's on the way to work, at work, or on the way home from work every day this week - remember this is Seattle, that is a HUGE deal haha Love you guys

Sheryl, I am really happy for you! He sounds so great! How old is he? If he's fit, and not on medication, he probably won't have an ED problem. My last bf was really good in bed, and rarely had problems, but if he did, I could "help him" Alcohol is another story, but he rarely drank any. As far as Bill goes, I do love Bill, but it shouldn't have to be this difficult. We have nothing in common. He can't hike because of his health, he hates the kinds of movies I like, etc. We work around it, but it's difficult. I've already shared with you that he has ED problems and the sex is not great. The other guy is older, and I know nothing about him and could have ED as well. I just want to talk to him, for now, and find out why we went out before and all I remember is talking to him on the phone and him sitting on my couch. Maybe it was because I was fat. I JUST can't remember and it's driving me nuts. Bill is really bugging me to buy a motorhome together because he loves to camp. We would both put equal amounts for a down payment and split the payments and it would be in both of our names. I am SO not ready for that. Florinda, you need to talk to Jack about sex,and things not being right with each other lately. Do you video chat, or talk on the phone? Is it possible for you to take a train to Eugene? or How about meeting in Portland? Tell him it's important that you two talk, and you can't live like this!

Laura, the test I took that may indicate higher cortisol is the: EOSINOPHILS ABS 0.1-0.3 K/MM3 0.05 L A lower-than-normal eosinophil count may be due to: Alcohol intoxication (not! in this case) Over production of certain steroids in the body (such as cortisol) so really, I am only guessing here... will find out more next month some time....

Not managed to fit in a fast yet over the holidays, though I have managed to exercise twice. Out tonight with friends which no doubt will involve alcohol and food. Tomorrow house it to be cleared of any cakes/sweets etc and all alcohol will be put in the garage for the month of January. I am also going to commit to using mfp every day. For everyone who is having difficulties this holiday, especially Globe, my commiserations and prayers. Tomorrow is a new start (everyday is a new start , it does not have to be New Year) and it is the year I am going to hit my personal goal, help hubby start his own fitness trail so he can reach good health, move house(?) and support hubby while he looks for a new job. I'm sure there will be many more ups and downs, hoping for the downs to be just in the weight department. Happy New Year everyone.

CGJane - Yes, 20 lbs with the nasal tube but unfortunately I cannot continue with it; I am simply too delicate internally, my nasal passages, my esophagus, couldn't handle the trauma. So, that 's 20 pounds off which is great, but I am still 50 lbs over my target weight, the target weight that I never got to, even though I got to surgeon's (prior to regain). I always want to eat, I eat to soothe anxiety, even anxiety about becoming anxious. Like an alcoholic, I don't need a reason to want to eat. v_v I am most likely the third category of Cathy's test, wherein I require physical restriction that makes me incapable of overeating.

Hey Michelle, That is so sweet to hear! The whole thing is amazing. I don't obsess over food like I used to... I am trying to do a weekly weigh in and last wednesday I was down 20lbs. People are starting to notice. The best is fitting into my smaller clothes. Last night was my first social since the band and other than the itchy stitches, all went well. I ate mostly fish...the hard part was the alcohol. My fave is a G&T! I did have a vodka infused jello shot! LOL! Yummy buy strong! I also did go for an amazing walk yesterday. Trying to get some excercise in. Will start with my trainer on April 1st. I think I need to do some more healing! Oh yeah, major crazziness...in Costco yesterday and my mouth felt dry and stupid me took a very small sip of my daughter's 7up! Wow, what a feeling. Won't ever do that again! Question: when we have surgery, is there any fill in the band?? You look amazing and I love reading your blog! Keep it up sunshine. A

Today I did my Tae-Kwondo again. I was sweating like....really sweating!!!:cursing: I didnt feel light headed because I ate dinner before the workout, so it felt GREAT At work, one of my team members brought chocolate for everyone and pretty much FORCE FED US!!! Of course, she is one of the skinny ones and I HAD TO EAT THE CHOCOLATE - Didnt know how to say no - good news is that I ate only 2 of the 4 cubes she gave to us, so that amounted to only 120 calories. TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE SO TOUGH!!!!!! Have to take a client out for lunch - then, in the evening I have to take my team for happy hour!!! How in the world am I going to stay within my 1500 calories????? I must work out tomorrow, somehow. GOAL FOR TOMORROW - Stay within 1500 calories - Do Tae Kwondo class at 7:45 - Do NOT drink alcohol at Happy hour - lawd help me - Eat a salad or SOMETHING at the client Lunch. How was your day today, fellow strugglers???

My book says alcohol causes gastric irritation and can cause liver damage. During periods of rapid weight loss the liver becomes especially vulnerable to toxins such as alcohol. Also says they recommend complete abstinence from alcohol for six months after surgery and avoid frequent consumption thereafter.

I had my first fill on Aug. 20th. I went in expecting it to hurt. It was completely painless. The PA poked around to find my port, wiped my belly with alcohol, I put my arms over my head and looked at the ceiling. Then she stuck me, and put the fill in. I didn't feel the "stick" at all. She only put 2ccs in and it felt "weird". I sat up and she gave me Water to drink. It wouldn't go all the way down, so she had to stick me again to do an unfill. She took 1 cc out and left 1cc in. The ONLY thing that hurt at all was when she pulled the dang band-aid off to do the unfill. I HATE band-aids.:thumbup: The fill, however, was completely painless.

Hi everyone - It's Tabitha here. I started this thread over 2 years ago, and just when I was much closer to my goal, I quit coming here because life happens. Needless to say, I am back, because I need to recommit. There is good news, however. The past two years I saw many challenges with regards to my weight. I actually went back up to 274lbs. The good news is that today, I sit at 244lbs. Only 10lbs heavier than where I was at my lowest, when I last posted here, and also 55lbs lighter than my surgery weight. Given that, I have to admit that while a part of me still feels like a failure, I am happy that I have been able to somewhat maintain or control. Every year since starting this thread, I have become a year older weighing less than I did the year before. I take pride in that. But there is still a lot of work to do. I need to get to my elusive goal. I figure that even if I lose 20lbs while on here, then it will be 10 lbs lower than i remember being a long time ago, and if i can maintain that for another 2 years, I would be so proud. so here I am ladies & gents - Back on track. What I will do differently is this: a) I hope to make a close accountability partner on here, who ultimately can exchange phone #'s with. I hope that when I stop appearing on here, which is the #1 sign I am slipping, they can call me and have me come back and post. This accountability will help me stay on track. I will do the same for them. I know it will take a few months of messages and slowly building trust, but like alcoholics, I hope i can get a lapband sponsor/accountability partner. :smile: This time, I will work out. I have worked out 5 days int he past 7 days. I have found out that waking up in the AM makes it doable. I always have excuses in the PM. c) I will make short term goals. My goal for the next one week is to work out 4 days. Will you do this with me? Can we do it?? I say that WE CAN and WE WILL~! Let's be each other's accountability partners. I look forward to breaking barriers with you and achieving out ultimate goals, together. Here's to success!!!

Okay so the guy I went out with on Saturday just isn't my type, but he was nice. He's the 24 year old, so I am 10 years older than him. And although I have a few body piercings, I don't have them on my face, which he DOES. And he smokes, which I DON'T. But I knew these things beforehand, so I thought I would give it a try. We ate Mexican and saw a movie, don't go see the Hitcher, it's lame. We didn't hit it off, but i really didn't expect us to, so no biggie. I do like him, and I think he and my brother would be great friends, so I may get them together over a beer, or something. Tonight, I met the blind date for dinner. We have been talking on the phone since Friday, so I knew a little bit about him, his background etc. so we had stuff to talk about. He wasn't exactly what I pictured based on his voice, but not in a bad way. He's not Brad Pitt, but he's attractive. I let him smooch me on the lips, it was ackward, but I think I will see him again. So it wasn't the romantic mushy dinner I was hoping for, but it'll do. Oh yeah, and one of my friends at work doubles as a lounge singer, and knows lots of single boy toys for me to get acquainted with, so maybe I will have lots more dates. Yay!! I really just wanted to get back into the swing of dating, I fear I have lost it:faint: completely. OHOHOH yeah, I almost forgot to tell ya, I was a size 22 pre surgery, and now into 16 comfortably, and I can cross my legs again!! I have a joke for you. This lady is at the bar, a guy asks if he can buy her a drink, she says no thanks, alcohol does bad things to my legs. Guy asks what does it do? Make your legs swell or something? Lady says "no, it makes them open". Ha ha got that by email today. Sorry if it offended someone, my bad I won't do it again. BTW, don't ask where the body jewelry is located, not telling.:biggrin1: Peace out, Kristi

I waited a month before I had any alcohol.

Fholts, I am praying for you right now. Sometimes I think things are out of our hands and we have to ask God for help. He will not let you down. I have experienced alot of the same things you are going through but I know everyone's is different. I have a wonderful husband, he makes a wonderful living, and takes care of us very well, but I'm just 2 weeks out banded and I try to keep up with him but when I can't he gets really mad and tells me to just go to bed. I rode 4 wheelers for over 6 hours yesterday and helped my son work on his before he wrecked and today I just don't feel good and it's his day off so now he's pissed off at me. I tell him I'm doing the best I can. Then my son who just had the accident, he's almost 19, living at home, loves to party with friends and drink alcohol. It's so hard on our marriage and I pray everyday God will take care of him and us. He says he's enlisting in the Army and although I will never quit crying when he does I know it's for the best for him. Just try to think positive and try to take some time each day if your religious to ask for God's help, and we'll all be praying for you as well. Try when your attacks comeon to go some where peaceful to get your thoughts together and relax. You can do this and we're all here if you need to talk, pm me I would feel honored to talk to you or just post on here we're always here for each other. In a way we're all family. We have had something done to our bodies that just not everybody has, so we have a bond. Love you and sending hugs your way, Sherri

I'm so so so glad you're comin Tracy, I was gonna cry a lil too if you weren't there :embaressed_smile: And, I'm not as much as a lush as I talk. Alcohol hurts me, so I only drink 'for real' once in a blue moon. I may sip on something, but odds are I won't be drunk

you forgot the alcohol for some ...

question: my surgery is on the 11th of may...yay me! i am on shakes twice and small meats for lunch. tonight my gf and i are going out. can i drink alcohol with coke zero??

I wouldn't have done anything different. What I did worked just right for me.....avoided those no-no foods, exceeded Protein and Fluid goals, learned to eat just until satisfied, not full, established new eating habits and a regular Vitamin schedule. I never did measure or track my food (besides protein and water) because I knew I would never keep it up. No sense trying to implement a plan I would not stick to. Instead, I just taught myself to eyeball my portions and learned the limits of what would let me lose vs maintain vs gain. That turned into a new lifestyle I can easily maintain. Likewise, I knew I would not keep up with an excercise program so I never bothered with that either. Basically, I would start doing now whatever you think you will be able to do forever and be very mindful of what foods you need to consume to lose weight vs foods that could cause weight stalls/gains in the future. Also make sure you have a plan in place for dealing with stressful events in your life. Those seem to be the trigger point for when many people start to regain weight. For me, seeing a therapist and getting on antidepressants was what I needed to help me cope since I refused to use food and alcohol as a crutch like I'd always done in the past.

Use rubbing alcohol to get the old tape glue off, and put some antibiotic cream on your incisions .

Some WLS patients still feel like there is a missing element to their long term weight loss. Healing old psychological wounds can be key. Author of Full From Within, psychologist Dr. Colleen Long, explains just where to start. “ The wound is where the light enters you.” - Rumi When I work with pre and post-op bariatric surgery patients, I consistently go over this idea of being "full from within." Many people question, "what does that mean for me? What does that look like?" My response is that for one to be truly full, we must first clear out the old toxicity, wounds, and hurtful schemas we've picked up throughout the years. How does one get over a hurt? There is not "getting over." You go through it. You have to feel it to heal it. If you have underwent gastric sleeve, bypass, or balloon surgery and still feel like there is a missing piece- it is likely that there are some deeper psychological toxicities that need to be cleared. The first step to doing so is sitting still, sitting with the feelings, and it is in stillness that our heart finally starts to answer the questions our mind has failed to thus far. Yet so many have been taught not to feel. That there must be an easier way- a shortcut. 1 in every 8 Americans is on some form of psychotropic medication. 1 In his book, Anatomy of an Epidemic, science journalist Robert Whitaker states that since 1987, the percentage of the population receiving federal disability payment for mental illness has tripled; among children under the age of 18, the percentage has grown by a factor of 35.1 While Whitaker recognized that in the short-term, these medications help people to feel better, he started to realize that over time- drugs make many patients sicker than they would have been if they had never been medicated. 1 He does not make the argument that all people should stop their meds. He believes in the utility of them, just more sparingly than they are currently utilized. However, throughout my years in the practice of therapy- I have noticed a trend of moving people away from feeling. Crying is actually a symptom in the DSM-V. We have pathologized a human feeling! When psychiatrists and therapists witness a patient tearful too many times in session, their next conclusion is that something must be wrong and they must be medicated. This frustrates me so much as a clinician and as a person who has done her share of work in her own personal therapy. When we are broken, we are broken open. Being broken is a starting point, not a symptom that something has gone awry. It is at the point of our deepest pain and grief that we have the greatest opportunity for growth. I find myself telling patients over and over- “you can’t “get over” it, you must “go through” it.” Yet, so many of us have been indoctrinated to think that if we spend more than a day being sad, we must have depression, or if we feel nervous a little bit longer than we’d like to- we must have an anxiety disorder. We definitely “are Bipolar” if we have a mood swing. We have been taught to not feel the yin, only the yang of our emotions. It’s societally acceptable to talk about how happy your weekend was, or how much fun you had on vacation- but watch the uncomfortable shifting in chairs that takes place when you open up about how you just haven’t felt like yourself lately. In our world of quick fixes, where we can have a conference across the world, over a computer, communicate a message in two seconds via text, or post a picture that all of our family can see instantly- we also want instant relief for our suffering. Yet, suffering is part of the human condition. It is through experiencing our deepest sorrows, we are able to appreciate our greatest joys. But we must first be willing to sit in the muck. "Out of the mud, grows the lotus." -Thich Nhat Hanh Part and parcel of any addiction (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.) is that the addict is particularly uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. However, the cure is right there for the taking. “So what does this look like in real life?” you ask. “How do I open the wound, bring in the light, and clear out the infection that started all of this in the first place?” You start with presence. You start with a still and open heart. You start with a spiritual vulnerability that allows you to be at peace with not knowing what will happen next. You sit broken open and wait for the light to enter over time. The most important piece in all of this is being able to create a consistent forum where you hold the space. This could be a therapist’s office, it could be a weekly walk with a friend, a journal practice, or it could be as simple as a prayer every night. You set the priority to hold the space and to sit in the muck. Maybe it starts with emotions that have no words? Maybe it starts with visceral, physical feelings, that you have to simply sit with for a while? Maybe you are lucky enough to immediately put in words where your wound all started and its just floating around in your thoughts, waiting to be articulated? Perhaps it starts with a behavior you tend to do all of the time that you know comes from a place of pain? Case Study: I had a client who continuously posted on social media sites. She had a constant need to feel recognized and admired. She knew there was something behind it and wanted to get to the bottom of where this was coming from. Session over session, we sat with that need. We talked about what she wanted to get from each of those posts and why she was still “on E,” left with an empty psychological tank. The short story of Narcissus goes that he disdained people who loved him. After Nemesis noticed this he lured him to a pool that cast his own reflection. Narcissus fell in love with this pool, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, he lost his will to live. He stared at this reflection until he died. 59 Growing up, this client never quite got the love and admiration we all need from our parents. When we love something so much and don’t get that back- it is that unrequited love that leaves a narcissistic wound. It doesn’t necessarily always start with parents. It can be a formative romantic relationship, but it usually starts with parents. When we are flying from couch to couch saying “look at me mommy I’m superman!” and our mom says “get off that couch now!” instead of “look at how strong and powerful you are,” we begin forming the wound. Unfortunately, without recognizing this- many people will go throughout their life trying to heal it through other people or other things instead of within themselves. (recall the wizard of oz’s moral of the story). It was up to this client to stop the instinctual need to post and each time she had this inclination to look within for what she needed. Eventually, she developed a muscle for self validation, and the posting behavior stopped. The lesson in this case study is to hopefully help guide you to your wound. If we have a food addiction and feel out of control, you can bet we have a wound. Instead of distracting through bad habits, addictions, unhealthy relationships, or external wants- it is time to finally create a place of presence to start the healing process. Mind Meal: Sit in silence for at least 15 minutes. Visualize in your mind’s eye your heart with a bridge of white light to your head. What does it say? Where is the pain? Where is the wound? How might you start filling yourself up for good? Want to learn more about how to be truly full from within. Check out Dr. Colleen's latest book aimed at helping one focus on why they eat vs. what they eat, and stop the "diet yo-yo" for good. You can also sign up for her free course : Full From Within, here. 1 Retrieved: June 2, 2017 https://www.madinamerica.com/author/rwhitaker/

Good morning, I went to a support group last night and found that my surgeon does not require a pre op diet. As long as I keep my 15% off. I'm getting excited. Less then three weeks now. I got my letter from the hospital yesterday with all my dates and times listed. Last nights mtg was about what you wish you knew prior to surgery... Some points were... The pain in the left lower rib area is normal, feel free to call the Doctor anytime something concerns you,be prepared that you can not gulp water again,be prepared that your food choices will change post op due to taste buds, buy a bento box for going back to solid foods, So many more things to think about too. Oh and they said to get a buddy. Have someone that you can call and say ,,,help I want to eat..... As they talk you down! I am hoping for this group to help me! My protein shake I chose was "metRx" I got peanut butter flavor. It has 110 cal, 2 gm fat 1 sugar and 23 gmail of protein! I mix it in almond milk. Sadly, they said don't drink your calories..ie alcohol ..lol but in time you cam again!

I was sleeved on Aug 4th 2015. I've been losing my hair pretty regularly and noticeably for about a month now. I take biotin and use Bosley hair products. My diet is very varied.....I drink coffee and have alcohol fairly regularly. I drink a green smoothie with Unjury protein powder everyday and really just eat when I'm hungry. I'm down about 100lbs, roughly 65lbs since surgery.I had some very serious difficulties about 3 weeks after my surgery when I developed pancreatitis...worst 2 weeks of my life...hands down. But I made it through. In one way, I feel like I'm back to "normal living" for lack of a better word. I have my cravings....I'm a carb queen....but when I have those cravings, I'm able to have a couple bites and be satisfied. I don't overdo it and I eat very slowly...which helps. I'm starting my lifestyle classes this wednesday.....I'm guessing it'll be mostly about nutrition, but I'm not sure. I think I'm averaging about a 2-3lb a week weight loss. My only real exercise is walking at the moment.

I know this is an old post, but I wanted to thank you for sharing. I really REALLY needed to hear this right now in my journey. I was sleeved almost exactly 3 years ago. Everything was awesome for the first 18 months. I felt amazing, I got within 9 lbs of my goal weight by 12 months out. I was training for a 10K... then a lot of major life changes, as well. I'm a single mom. Have been for 11 years, so that part wasn't new, but I had my heart broken again in early 2017 (devastated, really), 2 changes of job/career in less than 10 months following that, problems with my teenagers, and a pretty major depression brought on by another heartbreak that I fought for the better part of 6 months recently. I turned to alcohol to numb myself since I couldn't turn to food and, as you can imagine, that did not go well for me. Tons of empty liquid calories and no motivation to exercise or eat right... when I did eat, it was small portions but I was losing the battle to get enough protein and water. I don't list this as excuses, because I know I need to own my poor choices. And I want to start over. I initially lost over 115 lbs and maintained in that range for nearly a year before it fell apart. I've gained back about 85 now. I have been beating myself over it and hoping that its not too late to turn the ship around. I still have the tools... Thank you for letting me know its not out of my reach. I'm trying to get back to basics this week with protein and water... and also am 1 day alcohol free (which doesn't sound like much yet, but I'm motivated to keep going)