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Thanks for posting this. I put something similar as my status. I was more or less called sensitive. Those people have problems with themselves so much that they cut others down in a minute. It's not like the post they tear people up on are about going on alcohol and drug benders. Mean people.

Wasa: Thank you for that information. My Dad was only just recently diagnosed with lung cancer and has refused any more tests and treatment, so I don't know how advanced it is at this point. So far he doesn't seem to have much pain, just exhausted all the time. Your suggestion that he might become the "good" dad again at the end of his life brings me hope. I want so much to end this chapter with love in my heart instead of frustration and the anger he constantly provokes in us all. I appreciate you telling me this. By-the-way, my Mom was an alcoholic, also, since she was 17. She finally quit drinking at about age 70. Her drunken brutality impacted my life in ways I only recently have come to terms with. On the plus side, she has now become, at age 82, the wonderful Mom I could have used growing up, but at least get to experience now. So I understand somewhat the pain you feel regarding your mother. Laurend: I work with elderly people and their families and I know the devastation of Alzheimer's. I don't blame you for fearing it; it is a dreadful disease. But I know that there are breakthroughs now in medications and treatments. Hopefully there will be even better help available if/when you need it for your parents, so hold on to that. I have several patients who are being helped tremendously by these new drugs, so there is hope!

Avoid any alcohol containing mouthwash. Alcohol = drying. Biotene has a great soothing mouthwash and they also have a line of other dry mouth products, toothpaste, a moisturizing gel (they have gum also but that's a no no). PLUS the mouthwash contains similar enzymes to the ones you have naturally in your saliva that help to fight the bacteria that cause tooth decay and periodontal disease. Dry mouth is BAD for your teeth. Dry mouth = increased bacteria + food we eat = the increased possibility of rampant decay. Like any of us need to also deal with that situation!

Great thread! I am a slow loser. I'm 13 weeks post op today and I've lost 35lbs. It's slow and I stall a lot. I have good restriction, my portion sizes are tiny and I've all but given up drinking alcohol which is a big deal for me. I could be disappointed with my weight loss but that would be stupid ad for the first time in my life I KNOW this is going to work and I will be slim! There are days when I fret and worry that I will be the one who fails or my next appointment with my surgeon will stress me out as I'm not on target but it's working, I am losing weight and I can see it now and feel so excited about the future! I do pleased that I don't obsess about food any more or over eat any more this is a freedom from an addiction that has ruined my life and for that we should be grateful. x

I just found this forum. This is what I need. I'm an RN and have been a Case Manager, for a small hospital, since last August. Prior to that worked ICU, Nursing Home, even owned and operated a Board and Lodging Home for 5 years. I had surgery in Mexico 11/2011. Lost 55# right away. Then started with alcohol slowly, then it turned to every night. My weight loss stalled, and gained 8# from March '12 to Feb'13. Have been dry since Feb4th. Lost 5# so far. Nice to fell normal again. I am so surprised that I had a problem with alcohol, esp. with my job and seeing the devastation that alcohol causes in peoples lives. I'm on the right track now, still get cravings but having no alcohol in the house sure helps. I hope I can help others and we help each other on this forum. Linda

Was a really strange night for me. I told Jenn about this, but will try to condense it.... I had a friend from grade school all through the years, she was without question one of my very best friends, we went through all kinds of things together. We went to court with one another trying to get child support from our ex's, she even lived with me at one point when we were young and she had nowhere to go. We talkd 2-3 times a week, and emailed daily---we were very close. We had DD's the same age, and our DD's had their kids 1 day apart! A few years ago, she was a single parent hitting rough times, we loaned her money, helped her move, bought her son some boots for work, just helped her again try to get on her feet. She has fought with alcohol abuse for years. So after helping her move, and settle in, I had gathered some things for the kids I thought she needed, and showed up to give them to her, and lo and behold, her live in boyfriend answered the door----MY EX HUSBAND!! Now I have no real issue with her being with him, other that she knew he was an a$$---but it caused serious problems with my DD and I. Once when Rick was out of town, he called me, the ex I mean, and he knew all this crap, and I jumped my DD over it, and when she said she didn't tell him I all but called her a liar! She was not the liar, my former friend was. And she knew---that was the kicker---I told her how my DD was sharing things with her Dad about me I didn't like, and she never fessed up, still hid it. I give her money--money she used to feed his worthless a$$, a man who never paid his CS to feed his child, and I fed HIM??? Nuh uh! I wrote it off, with friends like that, who would throw my child under the wheels of the bus to save their butts,who needs enemies??? So for years we have had no contact. I still see her family and all is well with them etc. Well she and my ex have been split for some time, he did the use and abuse and leave with her too--but he was not what ended the friendship---she did. Now.....finally the point. Her Dad died. I went to visit him in the hospital, and managed to avoid her, but tonight was the visitation, and I knew I would see her. We put off our trip to ABQ for it, we are leaving about 3 AM. So I saw her. OMG it was wierd! There was a mutual friend there with her when I saw her, which helped, and it was all good, there was no problem, but my goodness girls, the alcohol has destoyed her. Her clothes, and her hair were dirty, the veins in her face and eyes were broken. It was heart breaking. I thought to myself earlier today how glad I was for my band---I knew most of these people when I was very thin, then they all knew me at my fattest, so I was glad to feel comfortable in my skin again facing all of them with this "past" between us now. But weight was not the issue----it was so bizarre. I keep thinking, and hoping, it was shock, and sorrow, and all that had her so unkempt----I cannot convey how wierd it was that she was that way. You could smell booze.....so sad. Rick said it won't be long we will go to her services. I think he might be right. Sad. Suzanne-----I will surprise you with a call one of these days too!!! I interupted Tracy in LA, and interupted Jenn getting dinner for her kids.....I will catch you unsuspecting too!!! I called Jenn, because I felt bad, she spoke in the other room to people we thought of as friends, and was totally ignored. I recognized it, because it happened to me too. Was so much fun talking to her tho!!! Irene----girl you do what you need to do, to be happy and healthy, and if that is another, different surgery, then go for it! There is not a one size fits all cure for us.....so whatever it takes to find yours!! Rick took my wedding rings and had them sized as a surprise for our anniversary next month. They come back today and he could not wait!!! I love it! I love them, as much as I did back then!!! They were a size 9.5 according to the invoice, and now are a size 6! YAY!!!! I love them, I love him!!! Gotta go, or I will never make it up in the morning to go and will sleep all the way with the kids, and that isn't fair to Rick! LOL See y'all when I get back!

Crusoe's Daughter by Jane Gardam -- love her character Polly Flint! Here's a review from a while back: http://www.nytimes.com/1986/04/27/books/polly-came-through.html Also taking a long time finishing a memoir called Mother, Daughter, Me by Katie Hafner -- I prefer fiction but a friend lent me this book and it's very compelling for any one who grew up with an alcoholic mother or some one in the sandwich generation of an aging parent plus a child at home -- here's a review: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/04/garden/mother-daughter-me-a-feel-good-experiment-that-wasnt.html?_r=0

So far behind here that I can't even focus long enough to read all the posts I missed. But I will say that we do have the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka here in the ghetto and it makes for a mighty fine alcoholic Arnold Palmer.

Ok - so I just got home again - this time it wasn't even for meetings but the poor new nurse I was training had an insane night - and by the time our shift ended still had not documented anything - so I just had to sit there and walk her through the night's activities - poor thing she was in a daze with all the crazies. OK LOVE True Blood, Nurse Jackie & Hung (still warming up to this one though - needs to pick up the pace) - now I wonder what they all have in common besides being on cable television?! No problems leaving the hospital - don't be mad but I walked out on my own - no worries guys - It's just normal for a lot of us - I had my ipod in and didn't think anything of it. For every 'crazy' and ill-mannered patient/visitor there are a multitude of others who are so adorable you just want to squeeze them and take them home with you and then we have the entitled ones who feel because they are in the top earnings bracket for the city that they get 'special' treatment and none of the rules apply to them. It's all about balance ALCOHOL - dang it jealous again - go back to work tonight and with family coming in town - wont drink till next weekend :wink2::nanahump: So please enjoy 5 drinks each for me - my vote is for the swirly things.

House is clean, yard is mowed, activity area on the back lot is ready. We have horseshoe pits, volleyball pit, couple of tetherball poles etc. up on a hill we own that overlooks our yard. I have the gifts ready to go, cake is ordered and supposed to be picked up at noon. drinks are bought---it will be non alcoholic---lots of kids and tee totaler inlaws! As far as I can see, I am as ready as I am getting for tomorrows party. g4e---I am a bit confused. Are they looking at your thyroid gland or the para thyroids? I ask because you said if the biopsy done in the OR was positive for cancer cells they would remove the other thyroid..... Are they going to attempt to leave one lobe of the thyroid or are you dealing with para thyroid problems? My Mom had to have one of her (you have 4) parathyroids removed, and she had all kinds of issues prior to it---her body quit absorbing the Calcium she took in, it left her bones really brittle. But that was well over 30 years ago, and she is going strong, she breaks easy, but she keeps going! We had discussed with mine leaving the left lobe, so my body could make its own thyroid hormone. Your thyroid looks kind of like a bow tie in the middle of your throat area---each side is referred to as a lobe and the center is the isthmus. My right lobe had a tumor the size of a tennis ball and multiple small ones encompassed the isthmus, and the majority of the left lobe. There was not much point in trying to save it. I actually take less synthetic hormone now than I did with it in place and rotting away in there!! I have always heard parathyroid issues are much worse---is that what you are dealing with??? Sorry BIL is not responding well. Coming off a venitlator is not always an easy thing. My neighbor who has been gone for all these weeks treating throat cancer, is home. He got home yesterday. He has undergone 21 radiation treatments, and a full 6 weeks of infused chemo. His throat---well the neck and on through to the throat is terribly burned by the radiation. They have a menagerie over there, and it just makes me creep out, to see that poor raw skin with the ointment and to think of all the cat hair in that house! I am allergic to the cat hair, and can only be in their place a few minutes as it is flying all over. They have 8 cats, 2 dogs, a huge multi colored parrot, a gray parrot with a red tail (forget what it is called) a cockatoo, 3 fish aquariums, an aquarium with frogs, and a turtle. The nicest people you could ever meet, she is the neighborhood busy body, but she watches our stuff like a hawk!!! Neighborhood watch in action!!! They love these animals, and spoil them all. They had one son who is moved away, and they have their animals now. But I keep thinking of all that hair flying in the ointment on his poor neck. He weighs less than a hundred pounds now, and is totally bald. I lost my hair, but I stayed FAT~! WTH????? Well off to convince DH it is happy hour at the local bar/restaurant, and they wanna cook for us tonight!

PJTS (posting just to say) – hi! For those who missed me, thanks, I missed you too. For those that didn’t miss me, OUCH! For those that didn’t even notice I was gone, Double OUCH! Now, to get caught up (my last post was #15156 – you guys have been busy): Reunion – never gone to one. My 40th will be coming up in a few years, perhaps then. Purses – Nope. Don’t carry one usually. Only when going out special (that is, maybe 1/year) Running – not gonna happen. Triathalons – Never. MILs – don’t have one. My mother is a great MIL according to DH and my sibling’s spouses (present and past) Scale victories – YAY! Scale lack of movement – it will happen. Patience. Buy new scales. Buy new batteries. Move the scale. Don’t move the scale. Avoid the scales. Blame menopause, water, exercise, salt, spouses, life…. Facebook – nope. It would be you guys so why go to another place for the same people? Obviously Im missing something. Pics/personal info here – nope. Just too many weirdos in cyberspace. Voices in head – Doesn’t everybody hear them? Marital stresses – hope you can work through them, or find the solution (whether together or apart) Struggling – I can SOOOOOOOOOOO relate. Job hunts – hope they are successful Home renovations – love to do them, hate living through them (and yes, I know that is somewhat schizophrenic but having multiple personalities helps me cope) Sales – Well as I hate shopping, a sale is of limited value to me. Children – new or soon to be – Congrats School – for those that have children heading off to them – another sign of them becoming adults; for the adults returning to it – have fun! Surgeries – Good luck; hope they are successful Drinks – alcohol is our friend! Mojitos/Ginger O’s/other KC /Lu concoctions – yumm! Animals – putting them down is sad; happy for those adopting Karma – gotta love it! Men - (enough said) Our get together in 2010 – when? Where? Who’s organizing? TV shows – not into them – any of them. Not reality, not cooking, not talk shows. News if I missed my internet and newspaper for the day. Summer – it is gone (never really arrived here); of course in Aussie it is coming – your ‘winter’ pics look better than this summer here though, Fanny. Hair – thinking I need a new style, but HATE the growing out phases. Gray IS a color! Mushrooms/other phallic symbols – no comment required. Bandiversaries – congrats! Sports – nope Pain meds – I prefer the alcohol kind, but any in a pinch. Sizes and weights – I will NEVER understand. People who are shorter than me, the same weight as me are in teeny-tiny (that is, single digits) sizes. Me, Nope. How is that possible? Oh well. Pictures – have been taking lots and some have been taken of me. To me, I look the same. Still fat. Feeding others dogs/kids/plants…it’s wrong. Permission first. Otherwise expect grief and/or lawsuit. Relationships – do what is right for YOU. Not your family. Not your child. Not your parents. YOU! Family drama – sorry for those having them. So, what’s happening?

sorry - I had began to write this and then realized I was going to be late for my dentist appt if I didn't leave - so here goes again: suzyt - no one's the same and you can get weird symptoms from something totally different than another person - but usually when I hear gallbladder 'issues' it brings to mind intense pain usually associated with eating fatty/rich foods (like glou was saying). some people do get referred pains up into a shoulder. although you can get bloating and gas (actually kinda the same thing - bloating comes from being gassy) with some mild gall stones - usually when I hear gassy, bloating and diarrhea - I tend to think something totally different - could be many things but some examples that come to mind: recent change in diet and or fiber intake, excessive rich foods or dairy in a higher ratio than other foods on a system thats not used to it, high sugar alcohol intake (sugar free foods - most don't bother me but there is one type of sf popsicle that is no good for me), lactose intolerance - can be new onset, varying degrees or different trigger foods, Irritable bowel syndrome, etc - forgot to include infection! don't know if this helps - but good luck and bottom line - I hope you feel better! 2nd day of teeth work - is done - ok so far but was warned I might have issues tomorrow.

My name is Stephanie. I'm a 35 year old wife an mother. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have an 11 year old son and a 4 year old Daughter. We live in the Sierra Nevada Foothills of California and live on a lake. My husband and I own and operate a landscape Company that has been in business for 13 years. He is a contractor and loves doing landscape design. I have been a mortgage broker for 13 years of my life and 3 years ago during the recession decided that enough was enough. So I went back to school and got my Bachelors and now work for the State of California in HR. I really like my job, it's fun and exciting and changes daily. I have been chubby all my life. I was born 9lbs 8 oz. People called me the Michelin Tire Baby which then evolved into such horrid nicknames like "fat daddy" or "fluffanie". I wasn't one of those really fat kids, at 11 years old I was 92lbs.. Sounds like a lot actually considering my son is 11 and is 70 lbs if that! Lol! Anyways, I have always carried in extra weight. The only time I was thin was at 17 when I was strung out on drugs. I weighed 118. I got married and was 165, had our son and rocked 190, had our daughter and now in tipping the scales at 235. I've become someone I don't even recognize. I have always been about self love and body image and love your curves and shit so for me this is not a much about vanity as it is about health. I actually have pretty high self esteem and think rather highly of myself! lol!!! 3 years ago my Daddy died. He was my best friend, my beacon and my biggest supporter in life. He accepted me for ME and always built me up and told me I was beautiful and fearless and unique and he taught me how to be strong and never to take shit from anyone. He was my rock and without him I have this huge hole in my heart. He died of: diabetes, coronary artery disease, congestive heart failure, and other illnesses caused by a poor lifestyle. He is full blooded Mexican and grew up in Lard and Pork Fat and All kinds of artery clogging goodness. I remember he used to put mayonnaise on everything!! Even tortillas and in Beans and he even just made mayo sandwiches!! He fried his eggs in bacon grease and smoked 2 packs a day and was a raging alcoholic most of his life. And yes he was FAT.. I will never forget the way I felt when he left me.. And I hate the way I feel without him. He was only 62... He never got to meet my daughter, his granddaughter... My son misses him every day. My husband gets choked up every time we talk about him, my sister and I relate everything we do to him and sob in each others arms on occasion. I decided I don't ever want my kids to feel like this... The fact that he lived such a careless lifestyle was selfish of him!! So my reasoning for this surgery (VSG) is based on my health. I want to be healthy and live a long healthy life for my kids and grandkids. I want to be here for my little sister for as long as I can, I don't want my family to see me die slowly and know that I did this to myself. I'm doing this for ME and my KIDS because I love myself as much as I love my Kids. I know it won't be easy.. And it will be a long journey of trial and tribulation. I also know it's kind of risky an may be considered drastic to some but I have never been one to back away from a challenge.. My sister asked me the other day, "well what if something goes wrong Steph? What will happen Ito you if you do this?" I just looked at her an said, "what will happen if I don't?"..........

The scale was unforgiving, I put on more this week than I did when I went on my 2 week trip to Mexico/ cruise last April. It has shown me how much easier it is to eat the crap and how volume has increased. The good thing is that the cupboards are bare at home and I won't be bringing any snacks or alcohol in for some time. It went on in a week I just have to work at it and see what I can lose in a week.let battle commence..

Hi ladies! Lordy - just got back from a few days at the coast with friends who were up from San Diego and it is kooky how off track my hubby and I can get when we are out of our home element. Going to an unfamiliar grocery store seemed to completely discombobulate the both of us. We both nibbled our way through more calories than we should have - I certainly had more carbs and processed food than I am used to and whoa what it does on the scale - poof up 7 lbs in one day from puffy bloat, salt and not enough fluids. M2 I have had my Fitbit flex since last October and I love mine - still need to work on getting all of my daily steps in though. 10k a day every day is a goal. I have been recovering from the BS from end of semester stuff - I basically walked away from my teaching job two weeks ago ( I turned down the offer to compete for my old job after the new administration brought the hammer down and dismantled the art department at our college - the music dept is next.) Basically half of all of the core faculty contracts were bought out - meaning teachers were threatened to either take a severance package (which was 75% of their salary) or possibly have nothing - they basically worked the collective bargaining agreement to eliminate professors who made the most money - which at our college is not that much. My ethics told me not to keep subjecting myself to a new corporatized situation that cares nothing for anything but money. I had started taking my anti-anxiety medicine (usually reserved only for long car trips) just to go into work, and crying every day. Its scary but I no longer feel sick to my stomach every day. Anywho - enough of that. I have been reading a new book on clean eating after reading about a program of eating called Whole30 - which I had no heard of. Its basically 30 days of hard reset - no wheat, sugar, dairy, alcohol, artificial sweeteners, etc - and is focused not so much on WL but rather elimination of inflammation, breaking the carb addiction, etc...All pretty common stuff in the food literature that we read. The dairy part would be really rough for me - I like a bit of 2% milk, and my favorite sweet is light and fit Greek yogurt - hi dairy and artificial sweet lol. If you slip up you have to start the 30 days over again lol. I am frankly dreading the fall (my most difficult part of the year for food and activity) and want to whip things into shape this summer to be better prepared. I just need to knuckle down! I too like our little group the way it is - I trust you guys and that is a big deal to me - I don't trust very many people

To be honest I eat most everything at this point, but I am totally aware of what I put in my body. I try sticking to the protein first and no drinking liquids 1/2 hr before eating and an hour after. I do however drink only non calorie drinks mostly water10-15 glasses a day, coffe black, an occasional no carb no calorie redbull (not best choice I also do wine instead of beer (I know alcohol is bad but I'm only human). Fish lots of fish and chicken always protein first. I do have carbs but no where near as much as before and my portions are always small that part the sleeve takes care of, I do have sugars in tiny portions, I know some might criticize that but I have to be realistic and honestly this journey is not about never eating again it's about being conscious of what you eat and in control, not have food control you. Oh and exercise it finally makes sense to me how important exercise is, and I try my hardest sometimes it's 5-7 times a week sometimes only 3 but still a work in progress and I try to remind myself everyday how I must be responsible for my mind and body. Sorry if I went on a tangent

Canolie - you can call the Allergen toll free number and give them your surgery information - date, surgeon, address and they will mail you the card. You can do it online at their website, but I couldn't figure it out so I called them. Yes the Kaiser program I am doing is very expensive all together including the Optifast food it is about $4300 - it includes all the bloodwork, doctor visits, classes - but if you divide it by the 30 weeks we have to go it is only $143/mo or if you divide it by the total program time 84 weeks it is about $51/wk. I am having to charge the whole thing at this point - you don't pay it all at once. I am considering it as an investment in ME. Thank you for understanding and keeping any negativity to yourself (I know not everyone approves nor do they have to). Tina - I don't know if all beans are sliders, but I do know that refried bean and baked beans are. It is hard not to turn to them if dense protein gets stuck. I pretty much don't go out to eat with people other than my parents or kids. I think it is hard for some people to understand why we can't eat and certainly why we can't drink. I know they don't want us to drink alcohol but it isn't very realistic to think that for the rest of our lives - everything in moderation but I would avoid the carbonation. Of course I don't do food well in moderation. I think I will be doing laundry a couple of more hours - camping is fun, but it put me off schedule for the laundry etc. I am planning on going to the Point West meeting on Saturday.

Hi Ladies, tamra & Jes - congrats on the weight loss - you too Riley Jane - and even if I was single i couldn't manage that many men one time - so not coordinated like that. ash - sleeve shmeeve - we love ya so stick around! I mighta done the sleeve if it was an option last September! Lee & bee soo glad I got to meet you ladies last night - I love having a face to go with the name - so much more personable. Capt Mo & Pat - I am bummed that I didn't get to meet you both - Monique - I would be home eating too if I wasn't at the meeting so get to the meetings! Pat - A hug trumps all! 30lbs is awsome! heather - glad you're having fun girl - can't wait to see the pics Analynn - You need to stay on the board and get to the meetings - it will definately help keep you motivated. Donna- Hi Honey! Pammie - where are you my love? Ok, my sometimers is kickin in - there was so much I wanted to say after reading 3 pages to catch up and now I can't remember any of it LOL. guess I'll have to start keeping notes. One thing I will say about the band is that it really makes an appearence when you are stressed out - I've had this sharp pain in the right side of my chest for about a week now - suddenly, today - it's gone HMMM? Here is my deal with this thing - I can't eat as much as I use to but I don't think it's the band because when I get full I feel it in the bottom of my stomech just like I use to before the band - but my tummy has definately shrunk. I did try to call again today to reschedule the appt I mised on tuesday and Bev said there are ZERO appts available and to call back in a few days. I was bummed because I really wanted to see what his scale says now - Im down to 186.8 but that will probably change tomorrow - up/down every day! Grrrrrr. I really have no desire to eat these days. I haven't been thinking about food at all - which is really a strange twist for me because it use to be ALL I thought about. So I've been making sure that I eat a decent lunch/dinner - I eat around 4:00 - the last 3 days I've only had 2 meals - coffee for b-fast & whatever is around at 4:00 hahaha - but I'm not losing any weight - I've been power walking on my treadmill - just can't get into my C25K for some reason. Maybe I need to get rid of the treadmill and get a tread climber - just one more thing to hang my laundry on (jk!) So, back to what i was saying - for about an hour after my 4:00 meal i can't stop thinking about food -life just seems to be so much easier if I don't eat anything at all - I've come to the conclusion that I'm a binger. Oh, Jes, (BTW - I really do love your hair cut!) you are right about the alcohol deal - Bev was directing that to the RNYers - their food processing isn't the same anymore and their bodies can't process the alcohol like it use to - we can still drink but they just worry about transferrence of addiction - from food to alcohol. So, Maria - have that drink if you so choose to - just try to keep it to a minimum and the lower cal drinks and enjoy. - Salute!

That's true! I had something called "non-alcoholic fatty liver disease," so for me it was cutting out alcohol AND carbs. I say, enjoy your pasta! And have a couple bites for me please!!! With parmesean . . . . .YUM!!! Riley

Sorry for the long email. This whole marriage and relationship things got me thinking.............. Last november when I started my lap band journey I brokw up with someone. They didn't get it and my reason was the next 6 months to a year are all about me and getting my life and health back. It was a good decision for me I have needed all the me time to get through this.......... I want another relatsionship but not until I feel like I have gotten myself emotionally and physically back together. What they say is like attracts like. So you attract your emotional equal. That scares me because I don't want to be with someone who is my emotional equal right now!! I still have alot of work to do. Sometimes I think with bariatric surgery we are with someone who was our emotional equal when we were at our lowest emotional point and as we change our bodies and minds and grow emotionally our previous choices no longer work for us. Again we outgrow people. Eithet they grew with you or in your journey to emotional health you leave them behind. Sometimes other people don't want to change with us and we have to respect that and let go. We can only change ourselves and it is arrogant to think we can force someone to grow with us if they are not ready. So with marriage you are a part of a we but also a me. Hard balance sometimes. Relationship are dynamic not static. Both people have to constantly change and grow together for it work. I don't know. I hate divorce and I hate what it does to people. I think people should make it work if they can but sometimes it just is what it is. And I totally get why the divorce rate is so high. Same thing with alcoholics and drug addicts they get sober and more times than not they lose their marriages and relationships. The nature of the beast when one strives to become more emotionally and spiriturally healthy is we sometimes lose things and people who we think we can't live without. But life has a way of putting other people in our life who will grow and change with us to replace what we lost. Saying goodbye is sadly a huge part of emotional growth sometimes. Nothing easy about change as we all know......... If you tell someone what they are doing or saying is hurting you and they try to change or try to do something different keep those people around. Those people really care about you. But if they refuse to change or refuse to stop doing things that sabateage or hurt you than protect yourself and walk away. But the only way to know what kind of a person they are is to put yourself out there and tell them how you really feel. Don't assumethey already know................and in the end remember that "if someone shows you who they are..........believe them." Don't make excuses for them believe what they are telling you and saying to you and how they treat you. Ok, ok...........seriously enough thinking I have to sleep. Sorry for all my philosophying tonight. Food log tomorrow but I was a good girl!! No PB'ing and no over eating. Not to hungry so a good day!!!

Hi Everyone, I had to catch up on around 5 pages of posts and don't remember what everyone wrote! :redface: Dex is adorable, congratulations! Ali, don't you have a sleeve? I was told no pills at all until after my 1 month checkup. They said not to risk injuring my staple line, even at three weeks. OA - I was a member till a few years ago. I started in 1989. I think that my years in 12 step really prepared me to deal with surgery and following the rules. I find the food plan to be the easiest part of post-op. As far as Higher Power, mine was the Bay Laurel tree in my front yard. Power bigger than me. I looked at the tree and said, yup, you're bigger, you're it! You don't have to have a sponsor to be in OA but finding the right fit is wonderful. For years I worked with a woman in her 80's who was a retired drug and alcohol counselor. It was fabulous. I think the 12 steps are a great way to live. I still have all of my materials and look at them on occasion and talk program with my best friends that I met 20 years ago in OA. John, Monday is our 3 month anniversary. I have an appt with Dr. Baggs on Friday for my three month checkup. My lab work looks good but they didn't do some vital tests. I still struggle with the weight loss. Sleeve is not an easy fix. I have to exercise 60-90 minutes, 7 days a week to be guaranteed a 1 pound loss. Eating 600-700 calories, every bite logged in myfitnesspal. com. Less than 30 carbs a day which come from dairy and calcium chews. I go to at least 1 support group meeting each week, sometimes 2 a week to stay connected to my plan. I walk at least 1-2 times a week with other WLS folks. I'm still barfing up my vitamins and sometimes my food which is all protein. If I attempt 1/3 cup protein and then a little lettuce or spoon of fruit, it gives me a little surprise of saying hello again. As far as the question asked about hunger, I've been hungry since Day 10. I eat and I'm hungry a couple hours later but not so bad that I can't wait until 4 hours to eat again. It's a different hunger, not head hunger but stomach hunger. 200 calories 3x a day isn't that much food. I'm careful to keep it to meat, dairy or seafood because it offers the most protein per 3 oz serving. It's nothing like being hungry pre-op and it takes so little to satisfy my physical hunger. For those of you getting your fills, big big big congratulations! Wishing you so much success. Pat, those 16 and 18's that I got from you are getting too big, but some fit and I love them. :smile2: Ash, congrats on your surgery date! Can't wait till you're on the Loser's Bench. I read somewhere on Obesity Help that Kaiser Southern California is discontinuing the LapBand and going to RNY and Sleeve. Who knows, Richmond may follow suit at some point. I wonder if they'll be more open to revisions at that point? There's very few banders at the support group these days. Time to walk the lake, have to run. This afternoon is the Obesity Help support group at San Leandro Hospital if anyone is interested. I'm planning to be there. Have a fun weekend!

Hey ladies & gent Riley - call your book "Alcohol with Lap Band" Oaklander... Welcome to the group! You will get weighed and that will be your starting weight - wear heavy shoes & eat BFast first. DON'T BE LATE OR THEY WILL NOT LET YOU IN. You will find out who your surgeon is and get your first appt date by the end of orientation. Be sure to put that you are completely open on the questionnaire they give you - that way you will get the earliest appt available. Liz & Nicole just had orientation and had their surgeon appts and hour later!! I have THE Doc Fisher and have to say that he is the best (compared to what others have said) with getting all the gas out - I had zero pain after surgery - and my incisions/scars look really small & straight! Warning: He is a little more harsh on the initial weight loss requirement but it's all worth it. All the Doctors are good at what they do but some have different specialties - If you read back you will see that I had big issues about the scars because some I've seen aren't too pretty but The Doc does a really good job with that. I haven't had a fill yet with him - oh, and he typically puts in 4cc's at surgery - except for me cuz of my big ass hernia he had to fix (swelling). FYI: All of the surgeons push/advocate for the RNY/Bypass surgery so do your research, be sure the band is what you want and let them know that!

Riley- Very impressed with your Alcohol knowledge. Many new recipes after surgery (my hawaii trip next year) Shoot you should write your own book..."Cocktails 101" by Ms. Riley Jane." Thanks for all that info.

Apparently, Candra! Well I can tell you that of my 3 children, the one who I was PERFECT with while pregnant - did not even drink soda, let alone coffee or alcohol, I swam every day, ate only organic foods etc - that was the sickly kid, asmthma allergies type 1 diabetes dyslexia BUCCO ear infections, 2 sets of tubes, hearing loss tonsillitis adnoids had to be removed - good God! The first one i smoked and drank (but not very much drinking) and she was and is fine! The last one I just didn't worry about - he was post-vascectomy so i did not even know for 4 months - and he onnly has asshole-itis. Anybody want a 17 year old? Cheap!

Wow Harley, sounds like a fabulous time! The cabin looks amazing! I hope you have a wonderful time.. I am super jealous:) When I read your post about drinking it made me think, and I just wanted to share.. I had a big bash a few weeks ago and made 325 Jello shots with rum, vodka, and tequila (with 3 wonderful helpers). What people didn't know was that more than half of the jello shots were sugar free;) Everyone loves jello shots, right? They're fun, help you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and these were super low cal. They are also easy to make ahead, and to pack. We had 2 coolers full:) I used Barcardi, Jose Cuervo, and Absolut which are all 69 cals/1oz. We got about 20-25 shots out of one box of jello, which had one cup of alcohol and 1+1/4c Water.. I'll attempt to translate that?: 8oz/cup= 552 calories, divided by 20 shots/cup= 27.6 cals/shot. I think.. lol We found sugar free pina colada jello which was fab, and also did tequila with SF lime jello. They were surely a hit! I think there was a total of 22 left over out of the original 325:) Also, when we have people over I drink diet barqs, or diet coke and rum. The soda only takes a day or 2 to flatten with the cap off in the fridge. I have one of each on hand now, ready to go:) Hope some of this is helpful..