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What does it mean to be “full from within?” "This concept refers to the idea that we no longer have this psychological “black hole,” that needs to be fed through external things such as; food, drugs, alcohol, spending, relationships, gambling." ~ Dr. Colleen, The Psychology of Finally Being Full From Within To be truly full from within means that our “tank” is mentally full. In other words, our self, although beaten up, bruised, and broken sometimes as a result of our journey down each of our unique life’s path - is repaired and felt as whole again. Like a patchwork quilt that only gets stronger as a result of its many tears and reparations. How does one achieve this, you ask? Borrowing from Aaron Beck’s cognitive triangle - we have three components of the mind that work to repair the self: THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, BEHAVIORS. These are the different components that must be running on all four cylinders to ensure that we aren’t at risk of developing or perpetuating an unhealthy relationship with any of the topics mentioned above, for the purposes of this article, specifically - food. Thoughts To Repair The Self Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy is a 25 cent term to describe the process of looking at the old tapes we run in our minds day in and day out for years upon years, and stopping them in their tracks, and replacing them with new ones. A hallmark approach in Byron Katie’s book “Loving What Is,” is to continuously challenge one’s thoughts by asking “is that really true?” 13 If we deem that we can’t say with absolute certainty that a thought is true, then we can replace it with a more constructive thought. For instance, if we find ourselves with a running narrative that goes something like “you are just never going to be someone that stands out, it’s ok you have other good traits,” then what is the behavior and feelings that it produces? Perhaps the person goes on feeling invisible like many people who are overweight feel. Maybe the person gives up on trying to stand out in the way they look and participate in life. Feelings To Repair The Self For my clients suffering from depression, I will often assign them a task of doing one social event, one bout of exercise (if they have never been inclined to exercise), and one learning activity (lecture, take a CE, attend a webinar, go to a pottery class, painting class, attend a speaking event). Many of them balk at the idea. Some of them have been doing things their way for years and there is an undercurrent of fear related to breaking their routine. It is almost as if the depression has a voice that says “don’t do it, you will only feel worse.” We must realize that when we have depression, our mind is sick. It is no longer serving us, and the messages are coming from crossed wires. In order to uncross those wires, we must physically and literally put one foot in front of the other and re-engage in those activities that we know from the research lead to a sense of happiness or at least contentment. Behaviors To Repair The Self One of the biggest misconceptions about our mind is the idea that we must feel a certain way to engage in certain behaviors. In other words, we must first feel happy if we are going to go to a social event and relate to others in a positive way. However, the cognitive triangle mentioned above is tri-directional14, meaning our behaviors can influence our feelings and/or thoughts, and vice versa. This is powerful information. This means that we don’t have to wait for happiness or joy to come around to engage in behaviors we know lead to more happiness. In fact, one of my first interventions with my patients who suffer from depression is the “just do it” approach, meaning they are given the task of doing three behaviors they don’t necessarily feel like doing in the six days in between their next therapy session. To explain depression via a very simple analogy- it is like the flu for the mind. What do you typically do when you have the flu? You cancel your appointments, stay in bed, drink lots of water, and get lots of rest. The reasoning is that if we minimize the number of life events for a brief bit of time, we will heal more quickly, and we do. BUT, this is not the case with depression. The same intuition we use to combat the flu is the antithesis of what we must do to combat depression, yet somehow our instincts tell us to do the opposite. When we feel depressed, our inclination is to isolate, do less, and wait for the clouds to part. The problem with this is that this type of behavior is what feeds the depression. Suggested Behaviors Benevolence - reaching out to others and getting out of our own head, focusing on how to make someone else’s life or day better through connecting or giving. Play- engaging in something that requires enough effort that we can’t run old unhelpful tapes (I’m not good enough, other people must be more disciplined than me, things will never change, etc), but provides us with enough fun that we leave the activity feeling light, like surfing, artistry, building, writing, playing an instrument, etc. When we are kids, we spend about 95% of our day playing and even trying to find play in our responsibilities (have you ever watched a kid brush their teeth or get dressed? it is never a straightforward buttoned up process). Yet, as adults - we flip that on its head and spend 95% of our time being a human doing vs. a human being. Learning- engaging in novelty is something our brain requires to feel happy and fed. It could be as simple as learning a new card game, all the way to enrolling in an MBA course. When we allow our minds to do what they are best at - our minds give back to us. Connection- We are social creatures by nature. There is a physiological rewiring process that occurs as result of being in near proximity to other humans. It is how we survived so long ago, and our minds still provide the payoff. We are not meant to live in isolation, yet so many of us drift in this direction when they are depressed. Even introverts require some social connection. While extroverts tend to thrive and recharge their batteries on social connection, it is true that introverts recharge in their solitude. However, there is a difference between being alone vs. lonely. As introverted as you may think you are, none of us are immune to going from alone to lonely if we don’t make time for some social connection. Exercise- There are about 99 reasons to exercise and happiness is one. I’m not going to waste space and wax poetic about the many benefits of exercise because I’m sure you’re well aware. But in addition to producing endorphins that have been proven to make us feel better, as far as weight loss goes- it also makes us less likely to put junk in our bodies. Ever do an intense sweat session and then make a beeline to the nearest McDonald’s? I didn’t think so.

I don’t feel well with artificial sweeteners either (digestive). My nutritionist suggested using juice (no sugar added) and some purées to experiment with making my own popsicles and jello (using unflavored gelatin). She also suggest trying items that use Erythritol (sugar alcohol) to see if I tolerate those. I haven’t gotten around to the Erythritol… but the juice popsicles I’ve made so far were good. I’m still working out the mix. My first batch was 8oz of white grape peach juice (100% juice no sugar added) and 8 oz of water flavored with 1 tsp of SodaStream Peach Bubly drops (no calories no carbs) and freeze them in popsicles molds. I’m still tweaking the amount of bubly drops to get the strength of flavor I want. The first batch was ok, but I think I can improve it. I’m also working with fruit purée and other flavors - but I figure once I get one flavor dialed in, the others will be easier to replicate. My pre-op diet starts Aug 8th and my surgery is Aug 16th so I’m trying to experiment now, so hopefully I will have a few batches ready to go when I need them. Best of luck!

Hi , I was wondering if you can smoke after surgery ? I was also wondering how does alcohol react with people who already got the lab band. I am contemplating lab band or gastric bypass; and just cant decide !:help: Once you lost most of your weight , can you eat normal solid food ? if yes what are a few examples I need to make this decision quick thank you

Take your time. This is something that will change your life. Hi , I was wondering if you can smoke after surgery ? I believe you can, but I don't smoke so I never asked. I don't see why you couldn't. I was also wondering how does alcohol react with people who already got the lab band. The same as it did before. You may see some indirect differences... e.g. lower weight - more sensitivity, or alcohol may have more effect because you'll have a greatly reduced quantitiy of food in your stomach. But in and of itself, shouldn't be a difference. Once you lost most of your weight , can you eat normal solid food ? if yes what are a few examples You can eat normal solid foods (for the most part) as soon as you're clear of your post-op restrictions. Most people find they can eat most foods they could eat before banding. Examples? Well, what do you eat now? There's your list of examples, just in greatly reduced quantities. I need to make this decision quick Why the hurry?

Well...I'm home from work now and drinking an "alcoholic" beverage so right now I'm alright, but I can't guarantee what the next hour will bring. It usually hits me around 7:00 - 7:30 with the crying. You guys have no idea how much it means to me for all of the responses and the PMs that I have received. I will make it one way or another. I will be happy again. Hell...I have been going out on the weekends and getting hit on left and right...I have had MANY opportunities to leave the bar with men but I wouldn't do that, even in the situation that I'm currently in. So...I only say that because I'm not staying because I'm afraid to being alone...I'm staying because I took vows and I have created a family with this man and the way that he has recently been acting, I think that there may be a future for us. He needs to continue doing what he's doing and treat me like the queen that I should be treated like. Wish me luck and send me good vibes...I need them. I'll let you know tomorrow how I make out tonight on my rollercoaster ride. Hopefully I won't get sick. lol

I am waiting for insurance approval- doc had a 3 month pre-surgery healthy steps program, to teach me to eat and exercise, see a shrink, etc . I lost 30# already but still have 100 to go... And my diabetes hasnt really improved. I know I will never make it alone without surgery. Craving sweets. QUESTION :Will i ever be able to taste those sweet things without being horribly ill? ??(dumping syndrome scares the heck outta me) Also found out that i shouldnt drink alcohol before a meal- i forget to chew or taste anything when i am that happy.

I agree with BubbleButt on this one. Bartenders should be charged with the task of not serving alcoholic drinks to a person whom he believes has had too many drinks already, but it shouldn't be lesgislated. If you make the bartender responsible for people who over-imbibe, we may as well tell people that they can go into a bar and not worry about getting drunk because the bartender is going to make that decision for them. That takes the responsibility off the shoulders of the person who is doing the drinking (and possible driving) where it should be. Unless you want bartenders to have the job of being law enforcers, instead of law followers, it just isn't right to blame them for someone leaving their bar and getting in a car and driving while drunk. First of all, how and when and by what standards are you going to train all bartenders to make the determination of whether a person has had too many drinks? What kind of weapon will a bartender be able to use when someone becomes unruly and decides to challenge the bartender? Law enforcement is what police are charged with - not bar owners. Police are trained to handle people who break the law. Bartenders are not and I don't want them to be. A person should be able to open a business, operate within the current laws and have reasonable business practices without having to become a law enforcer. Anyone who drinks and drives should be responsible for breaking the law.

Well, I just came back from Atlantic City this weekend and gained 1.5 pounds...all from drinking too much alcohol. But the good news is today is Wednesday and I lost three pounds since Sunday so I am back down. I've been working my ass at the gym and really strict with my eating. I did my first spin class at the gym today and made it through!!!! I'm finally on the up swing of my journey. Three more pounds till I hit Onerville.

Hey Karla, the wedding sounds like it was so fun... I`m glad you got out and about!! And makeup too!!! You go girl!!!! Rotten about the leak problem.... I thought that was all fixed? or was it just because you`d had alcohol? I know i have less control when I drink..... Did anyone ttake a picture of YOU!!??? If so we wanna see it GF.... Linda: where are you girl??? pictures are up on FB if there are any you don`t like, tewll me and I`ll delete Love and hugs, ^Peaches?

Hey Michelle, That is so sweet to hear! The whole thing is amazing. I don't obsess over food like I used to... I am trying to do a weekly weigh in and last wednesday I was down 20lbs. People are starting to notice. The best is fitting into my smaller clothes. Last night was my first social since the band and other than the itchy stitches, all went well. I ate mostly fish...the hard part was the alcohol. My fave is a G&T! I did have a vodka infused jello shot! LOL! Yummy buy strong! I also did go for an amazing walk yesterday. Trying to get some excercise in. Will start with my trainer on April 1st. I think I need to do some more healing! Oh yeah, major crazziness...in Costco yesterday and my mouth felt dry and stupid me took a very small sip of my daughter's 7up! Wow, what a feeling. Won't ever do that again! Question: when we have surgery, is there any fill in the band?? You look amazing and I love reading your blog! Keep it up sunshine. A

Not that I recommend this but...I had a alcoholic drink 4 days post op :thumbup: I am slowly losing and I know it would come off faster if I gave up alcohol but I enjoy a glass or 3 on the weekends. When you are single and your social activities revolve around dinner w/ friends it is hard to stay on track. (probably one of the reason I am obese...now, I can eat a reasonable sized portion when dinning out instead of cleanning my plate...thank you band)

Ok so i will be 4 weeks post op on Tues i had my surgery jan 26. Tomorrow I am going out with my hubby and friends for dinner and drinks. Is it too soon to have 1 alcohol beverage? What is safe to have?

OMG I have created MONSTERS........lol Ok I have a question, oh I am sure y'all know me by now. I was thinking if your stomachs arent growling is being hungry just mental? Do we wait until the tummy growls to eat, and when it doesnt is that what they call "mental hungry". See I am an emitional eater so I think I can count on one hand the times I have eaten b/c my tummy was growling. What do you guys think?? Oh and I came across this is my great search for knowledge into my food addication and thought I would share it with y'all. Dear Kotex, I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as: - Staying active during your period can relieve cramps. - Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches. - Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol. Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the chocolate and ice cream!!! There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your azz. Ovarily Yours, Miss PMS

Hi, My name is Janine, and I have my banding scheduled for June 7. I have been going through the application process, appointments, etc. I was a bit disappointed that I have to wait until June 7, but it will come before I know it. MoKat, I do not have a bmi of 40, but 36. I have other health issues that pushed my approval through. My insurance just added the band to this years policy, I was so excited. I could not afford it. I have tried many diets too and lost and gained it back. I am looking forward to the band, realizing that I still have to make good choices. I do have a question for Chatgirl6, what is pbing?I have read that pb stuff, but I guess being new I don't know the lingo? My one concern is coffee and having a glass of wine or two on a weekend. One issue that could happen with the band is erosion from alcohol use, but is two glasses a week bad? does anyone know this answer? I sound like and alcoholic! I am not:) I am nervous about the adjustment to food too, but I feel I need to make a change to live longer! Keep me posted on your journey Janine

Thanks Yasmina :Banane10: So, here's a little story: A month or so ago, Dan and a friend of his were accepted into a art show in Berkley, CA...a benefit for the local humane society. Shortly after, we decided to torture ourselves by going to the SPCA and looking at all the kitties we can't have, because our apartment wouldn't allow it. The SPCA was in quite bad repair, and when we talked to the lady there, she explained all the troubles they've had recently and what bad shape they're in. Dan had the idea "Why not have an art show HERE for the SPCA!?" Told the lady, and she was all for it! (as long as they don't have to do anything) So, for the past month, we've been getting on the 35 people from work who volunteered to do pieces, to finish them. MOST people did, and we were really happy. My boss wanted to handle the advertising (posters), because he's in charge of corporate branding or something, so he designed the posters, and asked the local college print center to print them out. They did, and they were very nice... we spent the other weekend plastering the town with posters. Last night was the big night... we had it at a local gallery, where a very awesome lady lent her space and experience... got us a ton of media coverage, donated alcohol (to give away for donations) and snack foods. It went on from 7-11 PM. The deal was that people would come in, look at the art, and if there was something they liked, they would write on the piece of paper beside the art what their bid was (all started at $20). We're going to leave all the bidding open for the rest of the week to try to generate a little more money. BUT, last night, much to our surprise, EVERY piece got bids, and from our last count, the money raised from just the drink donations and bids, was $1200!!! We were really expecting like $500, maybe! Here's the thing: EVERYONE at work knew about this event. TONS of people said they would come. There were approx. 25-30 artists who contributed art, and maybe 8 of them showed up...maybe 20 of the 120ppl at work altogether showed up. NONE of the 'higher up' people at work, even our boss of all bosses, who also contributed a piece showed up. WTF?! What is wrong with these people? We're not even FROM this town, and we're trying to do something to bring a little culture and MONEY to their SPCA. We're pretty pissed about it. We've considered when people ask about it on Monday, taking the high road saying "It was awesome... you should have come" or else just sending a mass email thanking those who DID come, and giving everyone else shit. Still waiting to hear about Dan's job, but we're sure it's happening SOON, so we really don't have anything to lose.

Alcohol sugars? I don't think I've ever seen those, well haven't noticed so I am going to check for that also!! thanks 2012! Never knew there was such a thing!

What was your pre-op diet? Mine was low fat, normal food, sticking to around 1000 cals a day. Didn't measure cals and may have had one or two more bowls of muesli than necessary but everything I've eaten has been low fat, zero sugar and no alcohol. I had one meal out on Friday night which didn't exactly meet the low fat requirements but still avoided chips (fries), alcohol and sugar. Thinking about doing a liquid diet (Complan/Soup etc) for the next 4 days leading up to the surgery, just to make up for any deviations on the pre-op and also to cleanse my system.

Okay so the guy I went out with on Saturday just isn't my type, but he was nice. He's the 24 year old, so I am 10 years older than him. And although I have a few body piercings, I don't have them on my face, which he DOES. And he smokes, which I DON'T. But I knew these things beforehand, so I thought I would give it a try. We ate Mexican and saw a movie, don't go see the Hitcher, it's lame. We didn't hit it off, but i really didn't expect us to, so no biggie. I do like him, and I think he and my brother would be great friends, so I may get them together over a beer, or something. Tonight, I met the blind date for dinner. We have been talking on the phone since Friday, so I knew a little bit about him, his background etc. so we had stuff to talk about. He wasn't exactly what I pictured based on his voice, but not in a bad way. He's not Brad Pitt, but he's attractive. I let him smooch me on the lips, it was ackward, but I think I will see him again. So it wasn't the romantic mushy dinner I was hoping for, but it'll do. Oh yeah, and one of my friends at work doubles as a lounge singer, and knows lots of single boy toys for me to get acquainted with, so maybe I will have lots more dates. Yay!! I really just wanted to get back into the swing of dating, I fear I have lost it:faint: completely. OHOHOH yeah, I almost forgot to tell ya, I was a size 22 pre surgery, and now into 16 comfortably, and I can cross my legs again!! I have a joke for you. This lady is at the bar, a guy asks if he can buy her a drink, she says no thanks, alcohol does bad things to my legs. Guy asks what does it do? Make your legs swell or something? Lady says "no, it makes them open". Ha ha got that by email today. Sorry if it offended someone, my bad I won't do it again. BTW, don't ask where the body jewelry is located, not telling.:biggrin1: Peace out, Kristi

No worries, it's our little secret. I think they say no alcohol "ever" because it can lead to snacking and of course, it's Kaiser - the whole Thrive thing you know - healthy living.

Ohhh that makes sense!! I read about the alcohols but didn't entirely "get it", but now I do. Thank you!! I actually bought a box of peanut butter chocolate Atkins bars for a snack and they're super good. (Gosh I really need a fill, I'm so freaking hungry lol)

Well...when life throws you lemons...make a double shot absolut vodka lemonade out of it. Before I get ANY lectures about transfer addiction, I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in almost a year...but today put me over the edge. So I came home and told Lee that I was going to drink my supper tonight. He asked me how that was different from any other night thinking he was funny. I wasn't amused!!! Now I think it is kind of funny...though I think anything is funny right now. So I still haven't heard anything from insurance. I was really hoping some miracle would happen, but I just keep waiting. Well considering that it has taken me a while to type this I think I should probably go. I'll check in when I can feel my tongue! Karri

Steph, if you need another resource let me know and I'll email you my ID & pin # for UM and you can invade their library as well. Home with a migraine. I finally figured out that my students don't know how to read a science book. They just don't know how to transfer their reading a novel skills to reading a science book. So we are stopping curriculum and learning how to read a science book. An example, we are on the 1st page of the reading and I ask the students what is the phrase at the top of the page called (a title) then had no clue, 10 minutes later they still have no clue, so I say, "Okay, if this was a novel what would the phase be called?" Still no clue. After 20 I finally said it is a title. Next question..."What does a title tell us about the section?" 15 minutes later their still don't get that the title is like a main idea. At the end of 45 minutes we had read one paragraph....That's when the migraine started. So tomorrow is a new day, I will NOT get angry, I will NOT grumble, I will smile and say encouraging words and celebrate when they get a small thing right and then I'm going to drink! Remember my 'favorite student' last year. I just hear from a teacher friend in Missoula, the kid just transfer to her school AND to her class. I'm thinking she needs a care package: alcohol to ease the stress, gum, to keep from chewing his head off, and facepaint to paint on a smile when the parents come in and say that she is being unfair because after all their son is perfect Going to take a shower, eat some left overs, figure out how to run my new expresso machine and about 6 tylenol to ease that head. Kari...check your meds. Also check into a full spectrum light or go sit in a tanning bed. Also take some Vitamin D, it helps will stress. Steph, right back at you...you can handle this, I think Michael is playing you a bit. But he could well have attachment issues. Stop beating yourself up, you had to work to feed him, no one is perfect. Work on changing what you can, live with what you can't, and be wise enough to know the difference.

Good Morning Gang I got to sleep in this morning - in fact if bear hadn't woke me up I might still be a sleep.. Phyl - Thanks you are too sweet - dinner was my normal dinner thought you and Earl would love to eat what I eat on a normal night ;0) - I like it :0) enough to eat it for 29 months - I do variations to the fish but - it's my dinner and it's easy.. I was just thinking when I 1st woke up I should have made Earl a little bag to take home - Well it's it the fridge (I don't like cold choc) I had what was on the little plate last night but no more - I wanted more - but like I said I don't like cold choc so I am safe for now :0) I know the curve you are speaking about - I have seen a couple of 1 car accidents there - yep driving too fast You can make horduvers (sp) with the dates - wrap bacon around them - broil them - My Mom use to do that when they entertained ;0) - I bet your Canadian friends will love them. Ok gang we need to exchange Addresses for Xmas cards and dog bones - & I want the black/white cookie ;0)... I will send out an email - and we can give do a card exchange ;0) Candice - Your letter was fine really - but I have always been told not to send stuff when you are in a huff - I have written many of them - just writing them can be enough for me - I usually don't send them - I am not as diplomatic as you - I have to be really careful or I would be fired and I can't do retirement yet :0) - I need my health insurance and I need to be able to shop ;0) Karla - I picked needy ones then got over that and picked a controling one - thought I was making a good choice - he didn't do drug/alcohol - owned his own house and had his own car (all prior bf had nothing and usually a drug issue) and it still wasn't a good choice - he was a control freak ;0) had great qualities too - he did take care of me like earl does phyl but the other stuff like being jealous of my kids - giving me crap for being 5 min late from work or hanging w/gf - just was too much for me.. This yr when pulling out my xmas decorations - I had a box of like oldtime decorations - for the last 5 yrs my tree was done in a diff color - but this yr felt like the color stuff - I miss the tinsel though.. There was one xmas in 98 where I didn't decorate at all.. Well need another cup of coffee - don't know what I am going to do today - suppose to go karakoe w/my trainer tonite - I may just start wrapping - don't feel like getting dress right now and won't be going to the gym - knee is giving me problems CBL

Oh Janet, you've had nothing but visitors and FAMILY the last while (hugs to you) have you started becoming an alcoholic yet!!! :thumbup:

Janet, I missed that about you falling out of the chair, too bad you can't blame it on alcohol! You might be stiff tomorrow, so take some tylenol before going to bed. Phyl Make sure that you tell us the results of your MRI. Yes, if the fever is still spiking you do need to go to urgent care. On the pumpkin recipe, I just followed the pie recipe on the back of the can except substituted 1/2 of egg beaters for the 2 eggs, FF condensed milk instead of regular canned milk, and I used sun crystals for the sugar, but splenda will work as well. For the crust I melted 1 tablespoon of butter in the bottom of the pie plate, and sprinkled Anne's ginger thin crumbs over it, about 8 cookies worth. I think graham cracker crumbs would probably be better, it was a littler gingery, but I like ginger. I baked it at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Like I said, I'd love whip cream on it, but I don't like coolwhip, so its better just to eat it naked. The evening was okay, it just get stressed in a crowd of people I don't know. All my insecurities coming out. Got about 6 boxes unpacked in my sewing room, I don't know if I will ever get it back in shape, it is so much smaller than my old one. But I can always take over one of the spare bedrooms, which I will once the kids decide what they are going to do. I think I'll put my featherweight upstairs this summer, so I can move it outside to quilt if I feel like it. Well, I'm ignoring the trick or treaters, I know, kind of mean, but the furries would have to be locked up if I opened the door to them. Candice, does Canada do halloween?