Search the Community

Sheryl, I am really happy for you! He sounds so great! How old is he? If he's fit, and not on medication, he probably won't have an ED problem. My last bf was really good in bed, and rarely had problems, but if he did, I could "help him" Alcohol is another story, but he rarely drank any. As far as Bill goes, I do love Bill, but it shouldn't have to be this difficult. We have nothing in common. He can't hike because of his health, he hates the kinds of movies I like, etc. We work around it, but it's difficult. I've already shared with you that he has ED problems and the sex is not great. The other guy is older, and I know nothing about him and could have ED as well. I just want to talk to him, for now, and find out why we went out before and all I remember is talking to him on the phone and him sitting on my couch. Maybe it was because I was fat. I JUST can't remember and it's driving me nuts. Bill is really bugging me to buy a motorhome together because he loves to camp. We would both put equal amounts for a down payment and split the payments and it would be in both of our names. I am SO not ready for that. Florinda, you need to talk to Jack about sex,and things not being right with each other lately. Do you video chat, or talk on the phone? Is it possible for you to take a train to Eugene? or How about meeting in Portland? Tell him it's important that you two talk, and you can't live like this!

Laura, the test I took that may indicate higher cortisol is the: EOSINOPHILS ABS 0.1-0.3 K/MM3 0.05 L A lower-than-normal eosinophil count may be due to: Alcohol intoxication (not! in this case) Over production of certain steroids in the body (such as cortisol) so really, I am only guessing here... will find out more next month some time....

Dee - I think that one step at a time is a good approach. I have also been drinking too much wine, I am not sure why exactly. Well, some of it is alot of partying and socializing. I have had both the best summer ever (fun, friends, activities) and a pretty freaking rotten one (death, sadness, that mournful feeling of a whole life just ending in a trainwreck - Betty). So, then maybe the glass of wine also becomes a "decompression" from the pain which is the bad part. Anyway, I don't get drunk and don't feel like an alcoholic, but there really isn't a good reason for me to have a glass or two everyday. I don't wish to quit, but I can cut back and feel good about that. I am now doing that. I personally feel that dependance on junky food is actually worse. I work very hard to keep soothing foods out of my life (ice cream, cakes etc) because they make me feel physically horrible and trigger over eating in general. I am blessed that since the sleeve ice cream makes me "dump" - it is hellish and I tell you cured me of reliance on my favorite "sedation" - ice cream. I know how stressful travel can be - especially when you do it alot like you do (I used to). when I was obese I used business travel as an excuse to basically eat whatever whenever since time zones and plane schedules makes for an even more "disorganized" view then my daily eating life was (it was disorganized already, travel made it worse!). I don't have a good answer, but when I travel now, I put on my "be tough" mindset because it is so easy to fall into overindulgence when I am lonely, stressed and overly tired. Anyway girl, I hope you can turn your work life into something happier. I really believe that having a life you love is one of the keys to success over the long run... and we are likely to live longer too!

Go for it Sheryl! You need to find out how compatible you are with him. Everything is always great at first. You need to the through that honeymoon phase with him and find out who he really is and how you to get along. The only way you can do that is to spend time together. Yes, it's a balancing act, but you said you enjoy being with him. Take dance classes together. They're so much fun when you have an automatic partner. have you ever seen West Coast Swing? Watch it on Utube. It's hard, but that means a lot of lessons. East coast is easy. I find Salsa and the Hustle to be really easy too. There should be a place that offers a few weeks of this and a few weeks of that. And why would he not go horse back riding? John has turned into an ass. He's always tired, works too much, and basically has about 2 hours where he's off work, eats dinner watches some tv and falls asleep. I have been avoiding him. Maybe I should try welbutrin. I am extremely depressed about the weight, and the time, it's going to take to get back in shape. Doctor said it's a one year recovery from this surgery! Yikes! I am going to go out on a date with Owen, who is the alcoholic. he's so cute, and I was really falling for him, when he majorly screwed up. He's been staying sober, and wants to take me to dinner in a couple of weeks when he comes in from Tuna Fishing. Why not . I have nothing better to do. Then he will go home to his place which is an hour away, so I have no desire to drive that far but if he's willing to, I'll see how things go as far as another dinner. Sheryl I can't believe how we're both in the same boat. I've lost so much muscle, and I have no way of doing weight training again for months. I hate that none of my clothes fit. I have a muffin top, and my thighs are much bigger. I am not supposed to diet while I am waiting for the bone to graft. UUGG!

Yes, I am Sheryl but I answer quite nicely to Jane so don't worry about it! I worked at a restaurant once with fellow waittresses Carol, Merrill, Cheryl and Sherrie - we were always mishearing each other's names...haha! Laura, seriously, how can you see yourself as heavy? I judge us to be quite similiar in size and I am HOT...haha... so by definition you are too! Really, I don't mean to be insulting, but have you considered counseling for body image issues? You look awesome and beautiful. Sarsar - love those pics! You are also quite a beauty!!! Susan, I didn't know you were a revision. My surgeon is an arrogant SOB and one of the things he said was that he "did a really good job" creating my sleeve. What he told me is that sometimes due to the scar tissues left by the crapband (big fat lie it is a completely reversible procedure - it leaves damage!!!) they can't make the "pouch" the same was a virgin sleever. I am not a big religous person and not sure I believe in devine intervention BUT, I think somebody was looking out for me when it came to my sleeve journey. I still sometimes pinch myself to make sure it isn't just a fantasy and I will wake up obese... What I will say is that eating low carb and 5:2 both help me keep that "tight" feeling. When I started going sideways... say about 8 months post op, I was hungrier than I am now. Some of it is mental, I am in a headspace now that I just don't care that much about food and I think low carbing helps with that. I worry that if I ever go completely off the rails, I won't be able to get back, but I do allow myself small quanties of potato or bread or alcohol but basically stay away from other junkie carby food.

Well, let`s start with the pre-christmas week challenge, when I weighed myself last friday i had lost 3lbs. Not 5lbs as predicted but it felt good having those 3lbs come off because I knew I was going to over-do it during the X`mas period. That said, the band did not allow me to binge! I`m so greatful to it. I drunk a little and ate a few chocolates. Well, when I say a little, I mean about 4 glasses of mulled wine (heavier on brandy than orange juice since it was home-made), half a litre of baileys, 2 large glasses of white wine and a glass of champagne over the course of the X`mas week. Believe you me, this is a tiny fraction of what it would have been two years ago. The band took well to the alcohol until yesterday when I tried a glass of mulled wine and it came right up again. I guess I`m done for the holidays. I also had just about 50gms of chocolate! Go figure. The food intake as a whole was brilliant. I guess I should say tahnks to my band. It`s gone pretty tight since yesterday though. X`mas was good but busy as usual. The in-laws stayed for 4 days. Well, enough about me. How did the X`mas go, Girls? Hope it was enjoyable and not guilt-ridden for any of you since we all need space to enjoy life. Please let me know how it went. If I don`t read from you prior to the new year, I wish you a successful and peaceful one.

I am so freakin excited. I went today for another fill. I have eaten plenty of candy, drank some alcohol, and my appetite has been out of control but I managed to lose 4 pounds in two weeks. I can even feel a little bit of restriction with my new fill. Woot woot go me go me go me!

Hey that's not so bad! If you can adrink wine and STILL stick to you food plan that is great. As it turns out, I got way=layed from my Wii this morning. My BIL called from Mexico(he's driving on his way back to Canada now) and my nephew is in a mental health crisis... But DNephew 'dosn't think there is anything wrong with him'.... oh my gosh. So I spent an hour on the phone with him trying to convince him that he needs to get into see a mental health provider for an assessment... US (the family) are convinced that he is BiPolar but he dosn't see it. This kid is 29 yrs old and has screwed up everything in his life with DRUGS, Alcohol, failed marriage, lost his kids to his estranged wife.... blah,blah, blah... just imaging "days of our Lives" and you get the idea. I don't think I was successful, but I planted a seed anyways and gave him some resources to check out - if he's interested. I am not optomistic, but I told my BIL that I would try to get t hru to Nephew... The rest is in God's hands... Nephew is GOing to church these days, since rehab in the fall... but to talk to him "everything" is always somebody elses problem... it is very sad. But, I am NOT eating over it,.... It is not my problem - I can only be supportive if HE wants my help.. which he made clear he does NOT want. So Wii will have to wait until after work tonight...

The little glass of wine worked so well that one night.... is that an option or can you not take it with this new medication? I know you can't have alcohol with many anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds. Also, I used to work as a pre-cert nurse... if they refuse to pay for the Rx, it may help if your doctor will write a letter documenting your "failed trial" of Zoloft, etc. and state your case for why you need to be on this particular medication.

Phyl, so sorry the restraunt couldn't make special arrangements for us bariatric patrons, so it's their loss. I wonder if they have carry out???? If she was nasty about it, I'd let her know that you'll be letting others in on the fact that they shouldn't go there if they expect to get what they pay for. Our Golden Corral is like that. A nurse in my doc office had bypass 2 years ago, and she went there and tried to order a childs dinner buffet. They refused, so she said she'd be letting all of her patients at the office know about it. Now, they probably won't be going out of business any time soon, but we did go there to eat about 3 to 4 times a year and if you multiply that times the number of patients that have ate there in recent years, and their families, then you can see they are losing out on some business. I believe as the trend grows here in the US for bariatric surgeries, that more and more food joints will realize that people are just trying to control their portions, and they'll have to bend the rules to keep up with the trend. Persistance is the key. AppleBlossom, inline skating sounds like fun, but we don't really have anywhere here to do it. I bed you'll have some killer calf muscles after all that!! Marcy, you're so funny. You've spent all this time raising those chickens, and can't even enjoy them. Oh well, you did get all the crab meat, which I'm still jealous of!! I'm starting to think you were a little "wild" in your pre-kids days with your comments about doing anything once!! Shannon, that's a tough decision to make about the fill. I'd question myself as to whether or not I was getting all my protein and liquids in each day before making a decision. If your absolutely sure you're getting all the requirements in from your doctor, then it seems it may be time for a fill. Or, you could try to up the numbers. If your doc requires 60 grams of protein a day, try to up it to 70 to see if it makes a difference. For myself, I'm to get in 55 to 70 a day, but the more protein I eat, the fuller I stay. I can eat a 20 gram south beach bar and be hungry 2 hours later, but if I mix a shake with a scoop and a half of powder, which is 35 grams, I'm full for 3 1/2 to 4 hours. It may not hurt to try and start to figure out where your own sweet spot is, and how many grams it takes to keep you full for 3 to 4 hours. It may help you out with not needing a fill as often. Chim, I'm having an ok day. It's another hot one here, but relief may be in the forcast for Thursday. At least I have one night of excercise behind me already this week, and tomorrow I'm going to a friends to swim for a few hours with Hunter and DH, so that will be another night. Tonight is my night off, maybe, have to converse with DH on this one!! Kathy, your trip is getting closer. I bet you're getting excited!!! Jeanie, how's your new students?? I bet you come and are totally exhausted. I've only got one to deal with, and I can't imagine a classroom full of them!! Dini, sounds like you're enjoying your time off. I bet Annafrancesca is getting spoiled rotten with her grandma right now!! Sunny, where have you been lady. Haven't heard from you since the chicken salad!! Hope you're ok and it didnt make you sick or something!! Cazulay, so the food got the best of you for a day. It happens, but today is a new day. Wipe your slate clean, and your conscious, and go right back at it. This has got to be a worse addiction than drugs, or alcohol, or tobacco, because we have to eat to live. But you'll be ok, we all will. Practice makes perfect, one day at a time!!!!

Hey Everybody, Cals today very good until I got to the bar. Then...... like Phyl says.... there was this Vodka......and..... Well I felt the need, NEED, to drink. I wasn't wasting cals. on fancy drinks so I downed the vodka straight. Lemon drops, you dip a lemon in sugar, down the vodka, then bite the lemon. Did you know that Vodka taste exactly like rubbing alcohol? Yuck! Cals today not too good, not horrendous, but not too good. OMG, I just glanced at the TV, which I am not watching, and Tom Cruise sliced someones head open straight down the front. DH's kind of movie, YUCK!

Adjustments - for those of you who didn't want to click on the link: How to Tell When You Are Perfectly Adjusted You are losing 1-2 pounds per week. If you are not losing 1-2 pounds per week: A. You may need an eating adjustment 1. Are you eating 60 grams of protein a day 2. Are you eating 25 grams of fiber 3. Are you avoiding all liquid calories a. Soup can be sign of “soft calorie syndrome” b. Alcohol contains a lot of calories – 7 calories per gram (1) It’s also a stomach irritant c. Fruit juice is just sugar water 4. Are you making healthy food choices from a wide variety of foods? a. Are you avoiding soft foods b. You can’t just eat what’s easy c. Cheese is glorified fat 5. Are you drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day between meals 6. Are you eating too much junk a. Chips, chocolate, nuts, ice cream, cookies and other highly processed junk foods are too calorically dense to be regular parts of a healthy diet. But don’t avoid them completely to the point where you feel deprived. b. Stay out of fast food places 7. Are you getting in two servings of calcium daily 8. Do you always eat the protein first 9. Then the vegetables or fruits a. Five servings a day b. Potatoes are NOT a vegetable 10. Is your portion size appropriate? a. Meat or fish (1) 3 ounces – the size of a deck of cards b. Vegetables (1) ½ cup – the size of your fist c. Starch (1) If you eat the protein and the vegetables first you don’t need much (2) Avoid: rice, potatoes, pasta 11. You might try avoiding artificial sweeteners a. Some people think that artificial sweeteners stimulate the appetite b. They are HUNDREDS of times sweeter than sugar c. They teach you to like things too sweet d. There is no evidence that people who use them are any thinner than people who don’t 12. Avoid most diet foods a. Real food usually tastes better b. Real food is more satisfying than low calorie substitutes c. When you are only eating a tiny bit the caloric savings is not that great (1) Use a teaspoon of real butter instead of a tablespoon of diet margarine (2) The body has no way to break down artificial fats a. They may go into permanent storage b. Some people think liposuction is the only way to remove hydrolyzed fats from the body B. You may need a behavior adjustment 1. Are you eating only when you are hungry? a. If you’re not sure drink 8 ounces of water and wait. 2. Are you eating three meals a day? a. With maybe 1 or 2 small snacks 3. Are you sitting down to eat? 4. Are you eating consciously? a. No distractions, turn off the TV, put the book or newspaper away, pay attention to your food and your companions 5. Are you eating slowly? a. Put the fork down between bites b. Take 20 to 30 minutes to finish a meal c. Taking longer might cause the pouch to begin emptying 6. Are you taking small bites? a. Tiny spoon, chopsticks, cocktail fork 7. Are you chewing well? 8. Are you drinking with your meals or too soon after your meals? a. Practice water loading between meals b. You won’t be thirsty if you are well hydrated before the meal 9. Are you stopping at the first sign of fullness? a. Sometimes it’s a whisper: not hungry, had enough b. Hard stop versus soft stop 10. Do not eat between meals. Stop grazing. 11. Do not eat when you are not hungry C. You may need an activity adjustment 1. Are you getting in 30 minutes of physical activity at least 3 times a week? a. Over and above what you would do in the usual course of your day b. Could you make it 4 or 5 times a week? c. Could you make it 45 or 60 minutes? 2. Are you taking advantage of opportunities to increase your physical activity? a. Taking the stairs instead of the elevators or escalators b. Walking on the escalators instead of riding c. Parking your car further away from the entrance d. Getting out of the car instead of using the drive through e. Getting off the bus one stop before your destination f. Washing you car by hand instead of the car wash g. Playing with your kids D. You may need an attitude adjustment 1. Are you committed to your weight loss journey? 2. Are you totally honest with yourself about how much you are eating and exercising? a. Log your food and activity on ww.fitday.com for 3 days 3. Are you using food inappropriately to deal with emotional issues? a. Have you identified what the emotions are that drive your eating? b. Can you think of more appropriate ways to deal with those emotions? c. Are you willing to seek help from a qualified counselor? 4. Are you attending and participating in support group meetings? 5. Have you drummed up some support from your family and friends? 6. Have you dealt with saboteurs realistically? 7. Do you have realistic expectations about the weight loss journey? 8. Are you still obsessing about food, weight, dieting, eating? a. Obsessive – compulsive thoughts (1) Obsess about something else b. Perfectionism (1) All or none, black and white thinking c. Patience with the pace of healthy weight loss 9. Are you acknowledging your successes with non-food rewards? 10. Have you learned how to take a compliment? 11. Are you giving up diet mentality? a. Stop weighing yourself several times a day or every day b. Stop dieting c. Stop depriving yourself d. Stop defining food as “good” and “bad” e. Stop rewarding and punishing yourself with food 12. How do you feel about all the changes taking place? E. You may need a band adjustment 1. You feel like you are making healthy food choices in appropriate portion sizes but getting hungry between meals? 2. You can still eat white bread, fibrous vegetables and large portions. 3. You are having to struggle to lose 4. You are gaining weight in spite of eating right, exercising and having a good mind set. F. You may need your band loosened 1. There are times when you can’t get fluids down 2. You are vomiting too much a. How much is too much? 3. Do you have frequent reflux or heartburn at night? a. Do not lie flat or bend over soon after eating b. Do not eat late at night or just before bedtime c. Rinse your pouch with a glass or water an hour before bedtime d. Certain foods or drinks are more likely to cause reflux: (1) Rich, spicy, fatty and fried foods (2) Chocolate (3) Caffeine (4) Alcohol (5) Some fruits and vegetables a. Oranges, lemons, tomatoes, peppers (6) Peppermint a. Baking soda toothpaste (7) Carbonated drinks e. Eat slowly and do not eat big meals f. If you smoke, quit smoking g. Reduce stress h. Exercise promotes digestion i. Raise the head of your bed j. Wear loose fitting clothing around your waist k. Stress increases reflux l. Take estrogen containing medications in the morning m. Avoid aspirin, Aleve and ibuprofen at bedtime (1) Tylenol is OK n. Take an antacid (Pepcid complete) before retiring o. Try other over-the-counter heartburn medications p. See your health care provider 4. See your health care provider immediately (or call 911) if a. You have a squeezing, tightness or heaviness in your chest, especially if the discomfort spreads to your shoulder, arm or jaw or is accompanied by shortness of breath, sweating, irregular or fast heartbeat or nausea. These could be symptoms of a heart attack. b. If your symptoms are triggered by exercise. c. If your pain localizes to your right side, especially if you also have nausea or fever d. If you throw up vomit that looks like black sand or coffee grounds. Or if your stool is black, deep red or looks like it has tar in it. These are symptoms of bleeding and need immediate attention. (Note: Pepto-Bismol or other medications with bismuth will turn your stool black. Iron supplements can also make the stool tarry.) e. If your pain is severe This was written by Jessie H. Ahroni, Ph.D., A.R.N.P., C.D.E., B.C.-A.D.M.

Hi all - I am happy to report an "official" two pound loss, but now the even better part of that is that I am not obsessing about it. I just kept up the exercise and writing down everything that goes into my mouth. That seems to be the key for me. I'm going to NYC for a week starting tomorrow. Robin you are absolutely right, I am like and alcoholic. I can't eat like I used to, but could easily stuff the wrong stuff in. I also think there has to be a balance - for me, it can't be about being "perfect." I'll flunk! Woofay - so sorry to hear about your loss. It is really hard to not revert back to the comfort things we have used all our lives. Could you make something for his memory? I'm thinking that busy hands help me, may they would help you. Heart mending takes time. Maybe plant a tree or a flower bed in his memory. Hugs to a special you! Drews - thanks for filling us in on that group. It is fun to enjoy outdoor concerts in the summer, but is it the best place to talk? How's the knee? Have a good week, I'll probably be able to email anyway. It is good to stay in touch. Hugs,

Fatwidow said: "I am sooooo sad for a lady I work with. She lost her son 2 days ago. He was drinking at a friends house and choked on his own vomit and died in his sleep. This was her only child and he was only 19. She was working two jobs to help him through college. He was really smart and had scholarships and graduated with honors. I guess he had a drug and alcohol problem. He was partying at a friends house and MY daughter was there for a short time. She was friends with him and told me she hugged him and was sitting with him that night but he was "so messed up". She is soo upset. I have lost some very important people in my life but I can't imagine losing a child. I have to go to the funeral home tomorrow. I am dreading it. I don't do well at funeral homes (does anyone)." OMG this is so very sad and I'm sorry for your daughter's loss and the pain you both are going through. The best thing you can do is just be there, amid all those teen tears and young people who are facing the reality of YES, it can happen to one of their own...it's so shocking to them. Your being there will be the best thing you can share with your daughter. Hold her hand, put your arm around her if she needs it. Wow. *19 years in education and the past 15 working middle-high school and voc. tech, it's never easy to see the young ones go and they mostly go in circumstances like this.* The story that remains as a memory in our town is this superbly vivacious young man who graduated and after grad there was a party, everyone was going, he hopped on his bike (motorcyle) and was heading to the first of many parties that night (big italian community...loads of parties) when he was driving down the main road and someone pulled out in front of him. Instantly. His funeral prosession was three miles long. These moments we hear of make life so priceless and precious. .................................................................................... Friends my appointment with the plastic surgeon has been bumped by 24 hours. He has a surgery that is running longer than they first anticipated and want to allow some extra time so rather than tomorrow it will be Thursday I go in for my consulation. Going for a breast reduction and a penni-off (my word) that swagger that is much less swag down at the bottom of my tummy since my band but is still giving me persistant backaches and so much more. I'm sure I will have more than one surgery and I'm told there are some cases where getting that extra area off to relieve the pain and DRAG will allow me to pick it up and move more readily. BUT MY FEET DON'T HURT! and I'm so much better than in 2007. It's all a journey isn't it? Wheeee.

Jaime, First of all, please don't call yourself a failure. You're not. You have to realize that we all have a food addiction. An addiction, not unlike, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. It's been our obsession for many years. Sometimes, it takes more than a Lap Band to get us on our road to recovery, There is a reason, we overate in the first place. Have you considered seeking therapy? For me, I was just so ready to do this. I had been diagnosed as a pre-diabetic, I had PCOS and I had just been diagnosed with arthritis. I was scared straight! Just like when I used to take my juvenile probation clients to the state pen, I was scared straight! So scared of becoming a full blown diabetic, and so afraid of ending up in a wheelchair from my arthritis, that I felt I had no other choice. I had to force myself to make huge changes in my life. The Lap Band was the tool that I needed. With that being said, I must confess, it wasn't easy. Like I said above, I am a food addict. I overate for over 20 years. Food was a big part of my life. It took the place of feeling loved, of feeling wanted and of feeling worth. I had to find my motivation to get on the Bandwagon and stay there. I learned many years ago that I do best with a very strict regimen. I can't fly by the seat of my pants. This is odd since I am the least type A personality - you'd ever meet. BUT when it comes to meeting goals, I have to make lists, I have to make plans and I have to be very strict with sticking to them. The same happened when I graduated from college with my triple degrees at the age of 19. I had to make studying my life. It had to become me. The same when I returned to school for my nursing degree. I had to eat, sleep and live my studies. I have done that with my Lap Band and my new lifestyle. It has encompassed every part of my being. EVERY part of my life is associated in some way to my new lifestyle. My advice to you - is don't give up! You just got a fill today! A time for a new beginning! The Lap Band is good at giving us new chances to start fresh! Sit down and make a list of reasons why you want to be successful. List everything you can think of! Your health, your happiness, smaller sizes, more attractive appearance, better sex, all the NSV's available with a new body. List them and post them somewhere you'll see them daily. Then return to the good ole Bander Rules. Portion control is a biggie if you don't feel you have restriction. Measure Measure Measure! Buy yourself some pretty little measuring cups, several different sets if you want, I have 4. Measure all of your food 1 cup to 1.5 cup per meal. Eat slow, take tiny bites and allow your pouch to stretch properly. Write on a paper when you've taken your last bite. Don't drink anything for an hour. Then drink your water, crystal light, tea or whatever you drink. Get your 8 glasses in - through out the day. IF you get hungry before your 4 hours, that's okay, focus on foods that will feed your body. Foods that will help you meet your protein goal of 60-80 grams a day. Nuts, cheese, a boiled egg, hummus, whatever you want in that area is a good snack. Eat your snack. That's okay, if you're hungry don't starve, but make good nutritious choices. Log onto www.fitday.com or www.dailyplate.com or anything other service that helps you track your intake. List everything that enters your mouth. Try to keep your fats down around 30-40% of your total calories, if you're consuming carbs, if not, than a higher fat % is okay. Start moving your body. Don't try something that is impossible. Start with 5 mins a day for 6 days a week. 5 mins, walk in place in the morning or afternoon take a 5 mins walk. Anything, but do it everyday. After meeting the 5 mins a day for 6 days, increase it to 10 mins. There are three components to working out - Frequency, Duration, Intensity. Get the Frequency down first, then increase the time and lastly, once you're on track with 6 days a week, 20 mins a day, then you can increase the intensity. Don't do it all at once. Give yourself time to form a habit. 3 weeks makes a habit. Jaime, I have faith in you. I remember meeting you the night before you were banded. You were excited, motivated and ready to start your new life. Don't lose sight of that excitement! But as you know, it takes work. I know you can do it. Be smart about it. Plan to be successful and you will. Believe you can do it and you will! Truly, you can do this! I know you can!

cb please forgive me for I don't remember what stage you are on? As you have already read, we are all different. When I went on all foods last week, my nurse told me to limit the shakes because we need to begin to learn to eat small portions of regular food. it makes sense, but you need to be sure to get in your protein. She said that drinking a shake in the am usually does not keep you full until lunch. Suzzie I understand what you mean about the overwieght life as a teen. My Mom use to call me thunder thighs, needless to say she was a twig! But when I entered high school, I lost all the weight, and then she said I was to thin! Mothers!!! but my thin life did not stick around long. Since college on I yoyo and did all kinds of bad things to stay thin( no eating disorders, thank god!). I am off to PA this weekend for my brothers and sister inlaws big 50th Birthday party. It is in the mountains, very country. they are having it at his cabin. After my sons wedding this weekend, my big worry is to stay away from alcohol, or be sure to eat!! The band for sure makes a difference with that. I think i will be ok with meals. take care all!

Oh Janet, you've had nothing but visitors and FAMILY the last while (hugs to you) have you started becoming an alcoholic yet!!! :thumbup:

Well...when life throws you lemons...make a double shot absolut vodka lemonade out of it. Before I get ANY lectures about transfer addiction, I haven't had a single drop of alcohol in almost a year...but today put me over the edge. So I came home and told Lee that I was going to drink my supper tonight. He asked me how that was different from any other night thinking he was funny. I wasn't amused!!! Now I think it is kind of funny...though I think anything is funny right now. So I still haven't heard anything from insurance. I was really hoping some miracle would happen, but I just keep waiting. Well considering that it has taken me a while to type this I think I should probably go. I'll check in when I can feel my tongue! Karri

Steph, if you need another resource let me know and I'll email you my ID & pin # for UM and you can invade their library as well. Home with a migraine. I finally figured out that my students don't know how to read a science book. They just don't know how to transfer their reading a novel skills to reading a science book. So we are stopping curriculum and learning how to read a science book. An example, we are on the 1st page of the reading and I ask the students what is the phrase at the top of the page called (a title) then had no clue, 10 minutes later they still have no clue, so I say, "Okay, if this was a novel what would the phase be called?" Still no clue. After 20 I finally said it is a title. Next question..."What does a title tell us about the section?" 15 minutes later their still don't get that the title is like a main idea. At the end of 45 minutes we had read one paragraph....That's when the migraine started. So tomorrow is a new day, I will NOT get angry, I will NOT grumble, I will smile and say encouraging words and celebrate when they get a small thing right and then I'm going to drink! Remember my 'favorite student' last year. I just hear from a teacher friend in Missoula, the kid just transfer to her school AND to her class. I'm thinking she needs a care package: alcohol to ease the stress, gum, to keep from chewing his head off, and facepaint to paint on a smile when the parents come in and say that she is being unfair because after all their son is perfect Going to take a shower, eat some left overs, figure out how to run my new expresso machine and about 6 tylenol to ease that head. Kari...check your meds. Also check into a full spectrum light or go sit in a tanning bed. Also take some Vitamin D, it helps will stress. Steph, right back at you...you can handle this, I think Michael is playing you a bit. But he could well have attachment issues. Stop beating yourself up, you had to work to feed him, no one is perfect. Work on changing what you can, live with what you can't, and be wise enough to know the difference.

Good Evening Gang... Candice - LOL O'doul's - when pple try to give me a water down drink when I am drinking - i tell them put more alcohol in it - I am one of those drinkers who think they can drink all nite - cuz I use to - but again back then I had help from those things called diet pills - could drink all night and not get falling down drunk - I know you all don't think I'm as much of a drinker - not on a daily basis - but like when I go out - I can drink too much.. But I'm a fun drunk ;0) Love the $$$ saved by making ice that's cute... Hopefully pple will help you clean up - I know when my gf has a party pple are always helping clean up.. Karla - Yes you will be set free from letting go of all that junk that you are never going to have time to do... We have the same problem here in CA with # of kids in a class - I'm sure glad I don't have any kids in school.. Hugs you will survive So are you going to take a yoga class ?? Good for you... Well not much to report - back from the gym - boot camp tonite - then started my dinner - a one pot wonder - I didn't eat veggies last night so I have to get them in tonite. Tried to teach Bella to walk on a leash - but it's freaking hot - car said 119 at 6:30... Its the hottest it's been all summer - I can usualy go out at this time of nite and be ok not sweat - but tonite - hell no - we will practice more later.. Steph - How are you doing... How's Michael - is everyone ready for school to start - how's the house cleaning going Phyl - will be glad when you have regular internet - we sure do miss you.. Denise we haven't heard from you in AGES..

OMG LOST MY FREAKING POST !!!! Again shorter version Candice - I bet you $100 bucks - stay with me for 2 weeks you would lose 10 lbs !!!! The doors open... Any Time - Phyl - I think we have had the pj conversation before - it's not allowed :0) Hugs on the family medical issues... That's scary - I have 2 freinds who are in the hosptial - one stomach bleeding - the other an alcoholic (rich one) who won't quit drinking - liver issue again.. Maybe Earl is not smoking - I think it's cuz of the new car - he's watching the pennies.. You didn't have a car payment before and now you do.. So he's watching every penny... Candice - Ya sis wrote letter bitching again - not getting bank statements - she should have to co-sign every check I write (ya right) she never said to me she wasn't getting bank statements - I called the bank back in Sept - hopefully they will get a trustee - and this house being sold and I'm done - just want my $$$ for the headache I have had - and yes I have had all the headaches while she sits on her butt and writes letters... Phyl - Earl doesn't want a dog - cuz he has a cat... Get yourself a dog... He will have a whole bunch of aunts this summer :0)

Hey Karla, the wedding sounds like it was so fun... I`m glad you got out and about!! And makeup too!!! You go girl!!!! Rotten about the leak problem.... I thought that was all fixed? or was it just because you`d had alcohol? I know i have less control when I drink..... Did anyone ttake a picture of YOU!!??? If so we wanna see it GF.... Linda: where are you girl??? pictures are up on FB if there are any you don`t like, tewll me and I`ll delete Love and hugs, ^Peaches?

Published on SelfGrowth.com (http://www.selfgrowth.com) Does it really matter why? By Stephen Hosaflook On Tuesday, July 13, 2010 - 14:03 As a recovering obese person I’m starting to question all this examining, digging, and analyzing of WHY people are obese. That there’s some deep dark secret we’re hiding that causes our obesity. Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser, and now her own show, Losing it with Jillian, is a big proponent of digging into people’s sordid pasts and trying to find that deep dark secret. I love Jillian, The Biggest Loser, and Losing it with Jillian. She cares and I understand what she’s trying to do. But how is understanding why, if there is a why, going to help us at that critical moment when we’re faced with that piece of apple pie a-la-mode? When it comes right down to it, we’re still going to have to make the choice. Do I eat this or not? And if I do, is it because my dad ignored me all those years ago? Or was it my mom and dad’s divorce when I was 6 years old that’s going to cause me to eat this pie and ice cream right now? What we do right now, at that critical moment of temptation, has nothing to do with what happened a hour ago, yesterday, or 20 years ago. I just don’t agree with that. Don’t get me wrong. I feel for people who’ve had horrible pasts. Do our problems weigh on us? Sure they do. We all carry tremendous burdens and hurts from the past and possibly even yesterday. People can dredge up all kinds of painful events from our past. And it might even help diagnose something. But how long are we going to use those past events as excuses for overeating or being obese? This has made me wonder how Jillian would handle me. Okay, I’ll bite for just a moment here and make public three of my own past and current troubles. Could these three things be the reasons why I’m a recovering obese person? Let’s see…here I go, #1…When I was 10 years old and in the fourth grade, it was mandatory for all fourth graders to take swimming lessons at the local High School. We had 30 kids in our class. Mrs. Gilligan was the teacher. For twelve weeks we boarded a bus every Wednesday and went to the pool to learn how to swim. At the end of the program, I was the only one in the class who didn’t learn how to swim. I was afraid of going in water over my head. Well, believe me, I was the butt of some unbelievable hazing from my classmates. Even Mrs. Gilligan let the whole class know how disappointed she was in me. That’s pretty traumatic for a ten year old, don’t you think? But I don’t think about that anymore. Well, until just now. #2…My brother was an alcoholic and passed away about a year and a half ago. To this day I harbor tremendous guilt about not doing enough to stop this tragedy… maybe not being tough enough. I enabled him, to keep the peace in the house. I thought him seeing me change would give him the will to change. It didn’t. Why didn’t I do more? This is very stressful but it’s just another thing I have to live with, and I think about it a lot. #3…Currently I'm the caregiver for my elderly ill parents. It's my role now and I fully accept it. This was the single most important reason for me retiring this past March. I put in my thirty plus years and the timing was right. I need to be home as much as possible now. But at times it feels like I'm trapped. I still do things but traveling is out of the question now. I can't go on a golf vacation like I used to, let alone be away overnight anymore. I love my mom and dad more than anything in this world...it's not their fault. Sometimes it seems unfair though. See, I'm looked at as being the "Rock" of my family. I'm the oldest and I'm expected to do everything, say all the right things, and be responsible for anything and everything. I'm never allowed say no and I can’t defend myself when people think I make a wrong or unpopular decision. Even though I’ve willingly accepted this as my responsibility and wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s still very stressful at times. Now that’s a lot of baggage, but no more and probably a lot less than some other folks have. But okay, I said it. You made me say it Jillian! You wanted to drag some baggage out of me so you can say… “Now we know why you’re fat Steve. Now we can fix you.” Sorry, I disagree. I think I’ve got this one figured out though. And no analyzing needs to be done. See, what it all boils down to is this... no matter how many horrible and traumatic events I haul out of my past or current life, I can't use any of those things as an excuse to over eat right now. As tough as those things are some days, as much of a weight as they can be on my shoulders...I cannot use them to say something like this... "It's just too much for me today and I can't handle it! Everybody laughed at me when I was 10 years old and afraid of the water. I just didn’t do enough to help my brother. I'm all alone here with no help… so I'm going to sit down, relax, and reward myself with a big bowl of ice cream because I deserve it!" When I’m sitting there staring at that bowl of ice cream or that piece of apple pie with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream on it, am I thinking about those three things? No, I’m thinking how good that stuff looks and whether I should dive into it or not. Will thinking about my baggage make me start eating it or give me the strength to throw it away? No, because I’m not thinking about my baggage at that moment. I’m just thinking about what’s sitting there in front of me. Now, if I CHOOSE to, I can use all of those things as excuses. But all I’ve really done is cooked up in my own mind a reason to justify my binge eating. See how easy it is to do? So why do I want to think about why? It’s tough enough to say no to that garbage in the first place. In my humble opinion, we all do what we really want to do. Past or current experiences can’t make us do anything. Cruel and uncaring people from a day ago or 30 years ago can’t make us do anything. We make our own choices right now and we do exactly what we want to do right now. It doesn’t matter why we choose to do it…we just choose to do it. How decisive are we? Are we committed or are we just involved. “Want to be decisive? Start by deciding to live. Getting dead is mandatory, living is a conscious choice.” Now, both of those things are decisive, but only one is mandatory. Do we decide to give up...or do we decide to fight? I found that particular quote while I was looking for one I could use to explain the commitment needed to achieve our weight loss and maintenance goals. This is a pretty cool one too about a chicken and a pig and breakfast. Here it is... “The chicken was involved in creating your breakfast; the pig was committed.” That raises a couple of questions...Are we committed to our goals? Or just involved with them? And what excuses are we using to stop us? I heard a new one today… “My food addiction is an inherited family behavior.” Are you kidding me? When is this madness going to stop? Face it, we're all here because we want to lose weight and keep it off. Knowing what we want and how we think we can achieve it is having a strategic vision. That’s helpful, even necessary, but not enough for success. We can have a vision without commitment; that’s called a dream. Not even involvement is enough to make dreams come true… we have to be committed. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes. We have to be willing to commit our soul to this task. The problem with this sometimes is not everyone will understand or appreciate our focus. There will be those who "try" to give us an out. Or those who'll even be jealous of our commitment to success. Some may even fear we're leaving them behind so they'll lay a guilt trip on us. These are things we can use as excuses too. This is upsetting for many of us because we really do want to succeed. If you're like me, you'll even want to take those family members and friends by the hand and say to them... "Come with me, we'll all be successful together." They may not be ready yet, but that shouldn't stop us. We can't let that stop us! Whatever it is you like to use as an excuse, break free from that. I battle using my guilt and anger as excuses. And when I do, I have to make a conscious choice...am I really committed or am I just involved? Am I willing to be the pig and commit all? Will I risk being called a name or two, or allow a guilt trip to be laid on me in order to get what I really want? Or will I just be an involved excuse making chicken? Author's Bio 53 year old retired school custodian 4 time loser of 100 pounds or more Author of soon to be published book... LION UNLEASHED: A Journey of Weight Lost and Courage Found Fulltime caregiver for elderly ill parents Owner of weightloss and maintenance website... http://www.lionunleashed.com I'm not a doctor, nutritionist, dietician, certified physical trainer, or psychologist. I'm an average Joe. I've battled weight issues my whole life and I just want to help save at least one other person's life, like someone helped save mine. All I can offer is my personal lifelong experiences and my personal plan of taking off the weight and trying to keep it off. There are many ways to get from point A to point B. My way is just one in a thousand. The important thing is to find YOUR way and stick to it. My site and my book are dedicated to helping all my obese brothers and sisters who battle weight loss and maintenance issues every single day. Together we can do it. Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/does-it-really-matter-why

Janet, I missed that about you falling out of the chair, too bad you can't blame it on alcohol! You might be stiff tomorrow, so take some tylenol before going to bed. Phyl Make sure that you tell us the results of your MRI. Yes, if the fever is still spiking you do need to go to urgent care. On the pumpkin recipe, I just followed the pie recipe on the back of the can except substituted 1/2 of egg beaters for the 2 eggs, FF condensed milk instead of regular canned milk, and I used sun crystals for the sugar, but splenda will work as well. For the crust I melted 1 tablespoon of butter in the bottom of the pie plate, and sprinkled Anne's ginger thin crumbs over it, about 8 cookies worth. I think graham cracker crumbs would probably be better, it was a littler gingery, but I like ginger. I baked it at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Like I said, I'd love whip cream on it, but I don't like coolwhip, so its better just to eat it naked. The evening was okay, it just get stressed in a crowd of people I don't know. All my insecurities coming out. Got about 6 boxes unpacked in my sewing room, I don't know if I will ever get it back in shape, it is so much smaller than my old one. But I can always take over one of the spare bedrooms, which I will once the kids decide what they are going to do. I think I'll put my featherweight upstairs this summer, so I can move it outside to quilt if I feel like it. Well, I'm ignoring the trick or treaters, I know, kind of mean, but the furries would have to be locked up if I opened the door to them. Candice, does Canada do halloween?

Good Morning Gang I got to sleep in this morning - in fact if bear hadn't woke me up I might still be a sleep.. Phyl - Thanks you are too sweet - dinner was my normal dinner thought you and Earl would love to eat what I eat on a normal night ;0) - I like it :0) enough to eat it for 29 months - I do variations to the fish but - it's my dinner and it's easy.. I was just thinking when I 1st woke up I should have made Earl a little bag to take home - Well it's it the fridge (I don't like cold choc) I had what was on the little plate last night but no more - I wanted more - but like I said I don't like cold choc so I am safe for now :0) I know the curve you are speaking about - I have seen a couple of 1 car accidents there - yep driving too fast You can make horduvers (sp) with the dates - wrap bacon around them - broil them - My Mom use to do that when they entertained ;0) - I bet your Canadian friends will love them. Ok gang we need to exchange Addresses for Xmas cards and dog bones - & I want the black/white cookie ;0)... I will send out an email - and we can give do a card exchange ;0) Candice - Your letter was fine really - but I have always been told not to send stuff when you are in a huff - I have written many of them - just writing them can be enough for me - I usually don't send them - I am not as diplomatic as you - I have to be really careful or I would be fired and I can't do retirement yet :0) - I need my health insurance and I need to be able to shop ;0) Karla - I picked needy ones then got over that and picked a controling one - thought I was making a good choice - he didn't do drug/alcohol - owned his own house and had his own car (all prior bf had nothing and usually a drug issue) and it still wasn't a good choice - he was a control freak ;0) had great qualities too - he did take care of me like earl does phyl but the other stuff like being jealous of my kids - giving me crap for being 5 min late from work or hanging w/gf - just was too much for me.. This yr when pulling out my xmas decorations - I had a box of like oldtime decorations - for the last 5 yrs my tree was done in a diff color - but this yr felt like the color stuff - I miss the tinsel though.. There was one xmas in 98 where I didn't decorate at all.. Well need another cup of coffee - don't know what I am going to do today - suppose to go karakoe w/my trainer tonite - I may just start wrapping - don't feel like getting dress right now and won't be going to the gym - knee is giving me problems CBL