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Tina, Congratulations to you! It's a tough decision, and it takes courage to decide to change. Change is the most frightening thing we go through in life. Many people stay fat and unhealthy because of this fear. I was afraid that the Band, or any WLS surgery for that matter, would change everything about my life. And so far it has. But the changes have been good. I no longer fear change, I welcome it. People in our lives have no idea how to be supportive, I'm convinced of that. I'm also convinced that many of the people who seem so unsupportive think they are being just the opposite. But remember, change is a frightening for them as it is for you. They too are afraid. After all, any change in you could result in a change in your relationships. They are afraid, and their fear has no reason behind it. They forget that you will still be YOU whether you band or not. They forget that your quality will shine through. You are afraid, and it's normal. Change is scary. Everyone you talk to knows someone who's best friend's aunt, had an acquaintance whose youngest daughter had the surgery and she only lost the weight on one side then her left leg blew up like a zeppelin and they went in and found the band broken into seventeen pieces and lodged near a perfectly preserved donut in her uterus. (preceding ludicrous story for illustration purposes only). So, if that kind of thing bothers you, by all means, keep it all on the down low. It's your life, and your business. But fear not. The beauty of the band is it's safety. Low complication rate. Non invasiveness, and ease of reversibility. Of all the courses out there it is the logical choice. I had to decide. I picked this, and now I'm one month out, it was easy, fast, and nearly painless. Well, a lot less painful than my overactive imagination had drawn it for me. Diet and exercise do not work. Lose the weight, gain it back, plus a little bonus. Will power is good for the next meal, and maybe for months, but sooner or later the will power fades, and we fall into our old ways. If the will power worked there would be no fat people, no alchoholics, no addicts of any kind. The way I saw it the only way to go was to choose between a short life and a longer one. Keeping my messed up relationship with food was the short life, the band was the longer one. Follow your own star. Make your own decision based on who you are. One thing about these people here, they know how to be supportive, visit often, read the old threads. Contemplate. But move yourself to action. As Red says in "Shawshank Redemption" it's time to get busy living, or get busy dying. I suggest living with the band, you'll smile more than you do now, you'll laugh daily. Good luck, and glad to see you here.

Today I go for a ct scan at 1:30, an ECG at 2:30, and the nutrition class at 2:45. Then my next visit with the surgeon to go on my protien diet on the 29th. And, finally another endoscopy on Nov. 4. Whew! Been to the doctor on an average of once every nine years since I was eighteen. Usually for broken bones and stitches. This is more medical attention than I like. But, it will be okay. Am I getting excited? Yes. I'm a little surprised by how unsupportive I feel my wife is being. I took six days off work for the surgery, and with my regular days off it means I'll have ten days after surgery to recouperate enough to go back the day after Thanksgiving. Now I have tons of time (hundreds of hours) that is paid time off, and although my job is really easy (the heaviest thing I lift is an ink pen) I felt that the ten days wasn't overboard as to time off. Patty thinks I should go back to work as soon as possible. Don't know where that's coming from, but it rankles a bit. I have always taken the position that whatever she decides for HER body I will be behind her 100 percent. Wish she did the same for me. She suggested that I have the surgery on the 16th, and since my regular days off are the 17th and 18th I could go back on the 19th. I think it's too early. You folks who have gone through it, what do you think?

Congratulations! I bet your very excited and nervous all at the same time. I think the hubby's get scared and don't know how to admit it so they come across as being unsupportive. My Hubby can be like that too. I finally got him to admit that he was affraid. At least you have the support of your friends and of course all the great people here. I myself have not been banded as of yet so I will look forward to hearing you banding story. Good luck Amy

Good morning, I certainly do not want to offend you in anyway, but I am a very direct person. As much as you love your mother, (it is obvious you do!) she is toxic to you as you begin and continue through this journey. It sounds like she had some unrealistic figure in her mind of what people should weigh. My mom is 5' 1 inches and weighs about 105. I am 5' 6" and weigh 233. I started at 334 pounds. Now most people would never be able to guess my weight. My personal trainer says I look about 175-180 today. I went home for Christmas and at that time, I had already lost 75 pounds. My mother did not acknowledge the weight loss and instead started pointing out other imperfections like a mole I have on my neck. Her comment was "Why don't you have it removed? Now, I have had this mole (it is tiny) for at least 18 years. Why was it necessary to focus on this? Also, as I reached for a piece of italian bread, my mother says, "Are you really supposed to be eating this?" (Another zap!!!). And the amazing thing is I paid for this abuse!!! (it was my money that paid for the trip!) My older sister who eats boxes of Teddy Grahams and weighs in the 140 at 5' 6" isn't the most sympathetic person either. My brother who is 6 ' 1 and weighs 200 (He is a personal trainer) was the worst one of all. Oh, You are having elective surgery, he says. "Why don't you just lose weight by eating less and exercising?" (no, #@* Sherlock!!) I had to avoid all of the unsupportive family members the first 6 months of banding. That is the only solution unless you are able to tell your mother to back off for a while. It is possible to set groud rules from the beginning though. You could say to your mother that when you are together, weight loss and what you should weigh are offtopics since you differ on what the outcome should be. If you can't resolve, give yourself a break from her and surround yourself with supportive positive people who understand what you are going through. Good luck!!! Babs inTX 334/233/180 -101 and counting 6/23/03

Dawnsunshine, I didn't tell anyone except my husband, mom and 3 friends that I was having surgery and I made them all keep quiet. When I make a decision, nobody is going to change my mind. Especially something I've wanted so bad for so long. I didn't want anyone saying unsupportive things that would make me worry. So what THEY don't know won't hurt ME! The next time someone says that somebody died from having that surgery, ask them how many people die in car/ airplane/ pedestrian accidents? Do they stop going places because they could potentially get killed? Probably not. Do what you have to do to be happy and you won't regret it.

hey Babs that website looks great! I sent them off all my info and hopefully they will accept me - seem like the perfect solution - get to have the surgery done in France by an expert, and get fills/follow ups done in England where I can have questions answered and receive support in english! Incidently I went onto one of the Yahoo french support groups last night, and even though my french is a bit rusty, it broke my heart to read how lonely and unsupported most of the women seem to be. Some of them didn't even know another overweight person. Really sad. I only know one other obese person, but we are great support to one another, and I don't know what i'd do with out this support site - thanks so much for all the trouble you went to Babs - you're the best xx:D