Search the Community

Betty, I'm worried about you, hon. At least call your doc. Maybe he or she will give you some new meds, or set up an appt with the Sports Med clinic without you taking time off? My doc is really good about that. You know, ankle/heel pain is the very reason I have the band today...this stuff can be fixed, but you can't be traipsing all over the place on it, unsupported! You're a hard woman to keep down! Thanks to all the support, I made it through the one year mark...I do remember the good times and memories. I am relieved in some ways that the first year is past, even though I realize that there are bumps still ahead. It's still a heartbreak, but we made it through the "firsts" of everything, and for that, I am thankful. We're going to the waterpark tonight with DD and friend...should be fun. Sleepover to follow the park, so we're in for a busy night. This is one of DD's nice and sweet friends (she has one who is a little devilish...thankfully, this isn't the one!). Eileen, hope you can play soon! Pat, are you still out there somewhere? Hugs, Cindy

Oh my gosh, that story truly horrifies me. My DH would have been in the OR with me if he could have, (bless his silly little heart) So its unthinkable for me to hear of a husband that is so unsupportive. I give that woman tons of credit for going through with the surgery to possibly save her health and posssibly her life alone.

There will always be shades of gray!!!....however blatent lies for insurance purposes is not my cup of tea and not what I want to teach my children. I do feel that it is dangerous to view this surgery lightly and as a cosmetic procedure for the general public to just elect as with having botox or other cosmetic surgery. There are definate risks and post surgery behavior that must be adhered to. JQ Public is not always informed or ready to put in the full efforts required. My husband is a physician....and was totally unsupportive in my decision to have myself banded. He was thinking long term for my ultimate health and what complications could come from my decision. Of course.....I was doing all my research and speaking very candidly with the doctor/surgeon.....and only because the doctor believed that I would and could benefit greatly from the surgery and that I was a good candidate (no metabolic syndrome problems etc)...... that I continued to pursue the matter. My husband is slowly getting on board...as he can see that I am taking my health seriously and not expecting the band to do the work for me. I knew I had to intervene if I wanted to be around for the future.My BMI was 35...but with 2 co-morbidites (including a horrid sleep apnea that was ruining my health) I was lucky the insurance approved me...but if they had not....I probably would not have pursued the band...as we have too many financial burdens going on....but I would have continued to try to lose wt the "ol fashioned way......I had already lost 14 lbs from the time was measured with the bariatric program and was going through all the testing till the time I went in for surgery. Now, I have lost an additional 14 with the first month of my band....and hopefully many more to lose! There are many tests that are performed before you are accepted to have this surgery....they are all for your benefit and to reduce the risks of serious complications. The bariatric nurse......who had roux-en-y gastric bybass 8 yrs ago......had a massive heart attack one week post surgery.....and she could have died! Luckily, she recovered and was able to lose 160 pounds....and she has been an advocate for total awareness of the risks and benefits of bariatric surgery. She still says....it is a daily struggle and she must work at not slipping back into bad habits. For anyone who is stuck in a rut....and has tried and failed over and over....then it might be time for a life-preserver called Lapband Surgery. But that is a personal journey and must be an informed choice. We know ourselves and where our health is going or not going. We must take an active role if we are to succeed. I am glad that I pushed forward without the blessings of my husband....as I think this surgery will have saved my life and most definately have improved it's quality....let alone I feel I am already walking taller and seeing my confidence increase! But if people are still going to live at drive through....fast food chains and slouch in the sofa for hours on end......then ask for a surgery to right all the wrongs.....I think it would be unethical for the doctor to accept this type of person as a patient. An informed and motivated patient....that has been tested to rule out any other problems that could be harmful......should be able to have access to surgery....if a qualified doctor believes they will be able to improve their health...regardless of #'s called BMI or scales....if a doc feels the benefit outweighs the risk for you....then you should be able to follow through with surgery. If an insurance co doesn't want to pay....well.....hey....take a mortgage on your home......you might live longer to see it all paid off! Yes it is expensive....but it is the price of a quality car....and I think much more important in the long run. Smiles....diane : )

Don't lose faith in this. Keep it to yourself and a close friend, husband, or other confidant. I have not told anyone either just for the reasons you stated. I have never understood, when it comes to weight, how unsupportive people can be. Discuss everything with your Dr. and make your decisions from there

Thanks for beginning this challenge. You'll never know timely this is for me. I need support to complete this journey. I was soooo happy to find this group. I read through many of your postings yesterday before I joined and they truly hit home. I began this program in November with the full support of my primary and the total unsupport of my husband. He's coming around. I was 260 at that time, I was banded on 2/20/06 and went back to work the next week feeling fantastic. I was 239.5 at the time of my surgery. I am 227 today. I struggle with the small bites, and I need 5 or 6 oz of meat not 3oz. I did have my first fill, three weeks ago and I am not straving any longer. I love your "gone for good", it put this slow weight loss into prespective for me. I am also exercising at least 30 minutes a day now that I have a Tony Little Gazelle to use with no impact on my 2 knees.

Tammy...You need to breath!!! Just breath...and count!! Atleast thats what I have to do....cause I know where you are coming from. My husband pissed me off so bad yesterday...and I just about hit him with the Mini van!! Seriously....I would have hit him if he would not have moved! I know that sounds drastic but he has been so unsupportive, his family pisses me off, and I was just so angry.. I think that is something that they forget to tell you is how angry you feel at times! It is hard, but try to remain calm and not commit murder....or maybe I should take my own advice! Anway, know that I am right there with ya! We are loving ya girl!!! NOW..about my inlaws...I absolutely cannot stand my mother-n-law!!!! She is always so mean to me, and well mean to everyone. I told her I hit my 30 lb mark yesterday..and she said "Well, I will be happy when I can tell.." OH.....B-*-*-c-h!!!!!!!!!!! ugh....I was so mad...and when I told my husband, he said I was just being sensitive!! How dare he!!! GRRRRR I am getting mad all over again!

I have about had it with my in-laws. I am so unsure of what to do with them right now. I am hoping someone here can help me put this all together & figure out where I should go from here. Here's the short version of the story: I had my surgery in Mexico. I chose to tell everyone about getting Lapband surgery upfront, but my husband & I decided not to tell everyone about Mexico until AFTER the surgery. We told everyone that we were traveling to San Diego for the surgery. (Which really is the truth, we just crossed the border!!) 6-weeks AFTER the surgery, we felt it was time to tell everyone about Mexico. (I just believe in being honest & didn't want any secrets!) My family & friends had no problems! My in-laws flipped out!! They told us they were coming over for a meeting & then for 2 hrs. went on & on about my deceitfulness & how my bad example was rubbing off on my kids. (Please note that at NO TIME have I ever in the past or present lied to my in-laws. This one incident is what the only basis of their judgment.) I was very hurt by this & could not sleep that night. Since I couldn't sleep, I got up & wrote them a letter through e-mail & sent it. I simply shared my feelings. My in-laws did not speak to me for 6-months over this letter!! Last week they called my husband & said they wanted to meet. So, we hooked up at a restaurant & were there for 3 hrs. while they finished off what they started 6 months ago. I thought they were wanting to meet to apologize to me. :straight I left feeling worse!!! They feel that I LIED to them & led them to believe something that wasn't the truth. They felt that I didn't trust them by telling them up front. They said they were very concerned for my safety & the safety of my children - that I was thoughtless & selfish to do something like this. My husband really layed in on them that night!! He did most of the talking & I was proud of him. I've never seen him so rude to his parents before!!!!!! He's usually a kind-hearted easy going man. However, he regrets getting mad & now their relationship is worse. I have lost 50 lbs. since they've seen me. My MIL kept staring at me when I got up to get a drink or go to the restroom. She was eyeing me in a weird way. It's almost as if she's jealous!! (She is VERY overweight herself!) I have felt miserable for the past few days & don't know what to do. I am actually coming to the conclusion that perhaps I was wrong? (ME?! WRONG?!?!) UP to this point, I truly felt that what I did was okay. Is there some law that says I'm required to tell my in-laws that I am having surgery in Mexico? It's MY LIFE for goodness sake. I didn't tell them about Mexico upfront because I knew they would FREAK OUT!! They're just that way. It would have ruined our whole trip. I would appreciate ALL OPINIONS!! If you really think that what I did was deceitful, please share your feelings. I am hoping to get some insight that maybe I just don't see. I just want this craziness to be over!! My kids miss seeing Grandma & Grandpa!!!!!!!

Yes, my question may seem a bit harsh, but I felt that it was necessary to ask, and I'm not going to apologize for asking. Some people here seem to think that I'm picking on others but, all I'm trying to do is better understand why people don't research prior to having this surgery. Again, blind faith is just not my thing. And to answer another question, yes, there have been times in the past when I've experienced something and thought "why hadn't I thought of that?" but, as of now, it wasn't related to this surgery. I'm not saying that I have all of the answers or that I know everything there is to know, but if I ever need information about this surgery or anything related to it, I try to find what I need to know before I start asking questions of other bandsters. That's me. Furthermore, I'm not asking ANYONE to be like me. Lastly, if I come across as being unsupportive, forgive me. That's not me either. As many of you are well aware, feelings/emotions are very hard to express via just words on a message board. I think this site is great and very helpful for a lot of people.

Oh, sweetie, no. This is a big change in more ways than one. It is ok for him to be a little frightened and uncertain of how things will be now that you have had this procedure. People are scared of change and things they don't know or understand on a very basic level. But what's not ok is for him to make you cry or to make you feel like you have done something wrong and regret your decision. This was YOUR decision. It is YOUR body you have to deal with everyday, YOUR mental health and the things that go along with it. I'm sure he is scared that he has lost his eating partner, and you're going to be all thin and hot, and maybe he's afraid of where that will leave him. It also sounds like he's scared for your health, complications that may arise, and the big step you took. It's true, if he had found out some information beforehand, maybe he wouldn't be so emotionally unsupportive. Because right now, what he's thinking about is himself. How your surgery is affecting HIM. And while we all have the tendency to do that, that's not what he needs to be doing right now. As the person who is supposed to honor and cherish you, he needs to be your partner and offer you some support, because this is hard on you, too. This is a lifestyle change of great proportions. Maybe he resents you a little for making that change, for making him change as a byproduct, but the bottom line is you need your husband. Your friend. I think maybe you should try and talk to him calmly about what is bothering him, or why he's acting the way he is. If you don't think that will work, I always find it useful to write a letter because I can get out all my thoughts and emotions better, and they can read it and take the time to absorb the content. The truth is, you are not going to be the same person you were before surgery. It really is a whole new life. Sometimes the people we love can't make that leap to a new life with us, and it sucks. A lot of people on this site have had marital problems, separation, and even divorce after their surgery. I am sure there were already underlying factors, but that is the reality. And still, many people have wonderful and supportive spouses that may have balked a little in the beginning, but came around in the end. I'm sure your husband will come around, this is just a little new and scary for both of you. I hope things get better, let me know....but for now, hugs & kisses,

That's what my husband said to me today. He doesn't want to touch me because he said he may hurt me, when words hurt more. I'm a very touchy feely wife. I was like this before surgery, and today I feel 80% better and I wanted to be held but he wouldn't touch me. I wanted to guide him to my scars which have gauze over them. He drew back like I had some abnormalty or something. Before I went in he was fine, until a coupe of days before then he was all like "I don't think I want you to get this done." I thought maybe it was from the death factor, which he said it was, but I'm alive, and here. But now he's all like I've lost my eating partner, and I watch you take 1-2 hours to finish a bowl of oatmeal when it would have normally have taken you about 15 min if that. I told him it's supposed to be this way, in the liquid phase I drink until the hunger is gone. Then I drink more when it comes back. Basically. Then he's all like " For the rest of your life you'll have to see a doctor to make sure what you're eating and drinking isn't affecting you, and you'll have to take pills for the rest of your life." I told him that what he was saying wasn't exactly true, and if he would have been open to going to the meetings with me and the doctor's visits then he may not have felt this way. But I guess to see someone in pain and actually going through it is different. He hates to see me in pain or be in pain himself. But now he's got me crying and he's all apologetic, but his words really hurt me. I thought he was supportive, I mean it's great in theory but when it actually comes time to be supportive you have to be there for a person, not let me eat 4 pretzels :nono:knowing I shouldn't just because I'm having an unbelievable craving. I mean I'm incredibly happy that I began this journey to a better me, but I still can't say that if I would have known that he really felt this way and was just saying that he didn't just so we could stop and so he can stop seeming so unsupportive, that I would have not gone through with this. Does this make me a bad person, a bad wife? Am I pushing? Someone :help: I'm so I just want to scream :angry :pout: what to do :think Marcelle

That's what my husband said to me today. He doesn't want to touch me because he said he may hurt me, when words hurt more. I'm a very touchy feely wife. I was like this before surgery, and today I feel 80% better and I wanted to be held but he wouldn't touch me. I wanted to guide him to my scars which have gauze over them. He drew back like I had some abnormalty or something. Before I went in he was fine, until a coupe of days before then he was all like "I don't think I want you to get this done." I thought maybe it was from the death factor, which he said it was, but I'm alive, and here. But now he's all like I've lost my eating partner, and I watch you take 1-2 hours to finish a bowl of oatmeal when it would have normally have taken you about 15 min if that. I told him it's supposed to be this way, in the liquid phase I drink until the hunger is gone. Then I drink more when it comes back. Basically. Then he's all like " For the rest of your life you'll have to see a doctor to make sure what you're eating and drinking isn't affecting you, and you'll have to take pills for the rest of your life." I told him that what he was saying wasn't exactly true, and if he would have been open to going to the meetings with me and the doctor's visits then he may not have felt this way. But I guess to see someone in pain and actually going through it is different. He hates to see me in pain or be in pain himself. But now he's got me crying and he's all apologetic, but his words really hurt me. I thought he was supportive, I mean it's great in theory but when it actually comes time to be supportive you have to be there for a person, not let me eat 4 pretzels :nono:knowing I shouldn't just because I'm having an unbelievable craving. I mean I'm incredibly happy that I began this journey to a better me, but I still can't say that if I would have known that he really felt this way and was just saying that he didn't just so we could stop and so he can stop seeming so unsupportive, that I would have not gone through with this. Does this make me a bad person, a bad wife? Am I pushing? Someone :help: I'm so I just want to scream :angry :pout: what to do :think Marcelle

I'm not so sure but I'm begining to think that the majority of the "men" that don't have a problem with weight are unsupportive & smartass's when it comes to us. B'cuz my man although we aren't married he is the same way I cook for him everyday although most the time I don't eat because he is a beef eater and I can't eat beef....BUT never-the-less he knows that i've been trying really hard to meet my goal weight and lastnight he really up-set me....maybe I'm too sensitive but he's all the time telling me "you don't need to lose anymore weight, your fine how u are if i didn't like u big then I wouldn't be with u" well he knew that I had my surgery when we first got together to be smaller I didn't do this for him I did it for myself but lastnight we was talking about my doctor's appt. Monday I'm hoping I've lost atleast 20lbs when i go back but he just comes out of no-where and says "no I don't believe u've lost anything b'cuz if u had I would be able to pick u up and carry you"........that hurt my feelings because he knows I'm senstive ....and he's skinny so it doesn't matter what he eats or how much he eats......I just think that all men are unsensitive and smartass's to a certain extent....i'll get over this eventually....lol but I think that maybe we should be like them in certain cases....something that's really special or important to them that they are sensitive about just bash it like they do us at times......LOL i don't know I'm ramblin'.....but you wasn't at all hard on him he deserves for u to be angry with him...

PHOTNUT) I know that thin people eat snacks. I know that it is unreasonable to think that I will never eat another hamburger in my life. I was asking why we push the band to such extremes and eat way beyond the recommended allowances thereby making ourselves sick or risk ruining our bands, because frankly.. it astounds me that this thing we call our food demon could have such a grip on us that we would go to such lengths to ruin something that might just finally help us get past this. Nykee) I dont push my band to extremes. I do not abuse my band. I dont PB, I dont eat past the point where it causing problems for my band. Incase you didnt know that about ME personally. I do however eat beyond the reccomended allowances and eat all the wrong foods. BUT THAT IS COMPLETELY different than eating things or eating to the point where you abuse the band... have pains and PB and all that stuff.. PHOTONUT) Those of you who felt it was too harsh, judgemental, hypocritical, uncaring, unsupportive, pious, or otherwise hurtful, this thread was not intended for you. You may go back to your soft hugs and eat however you like. One suggestion though, the next time you want to share about the 2,000 calorie meal you just ate, start your post with - Dont really want to make a change, just want sympathy. At least I tried. Nykee) Nothing you said untill the post above offended me at all. I share my 2000 to 3000 calorie meals... and if you meant me: (cuz I dont see many others at all) YOU MISSED the fact that I ABSOLUTELY DO WANT TO MAKE A CHANGE AND I ABSOLUTELy DO NOT WANT SYMPATHY AND IMO, you cant TRY anything with misinformation or wrong judgements.

Alot of you took this thread wrong from the beginning. Some were misunderstood along the way. Others saw exactly what I was saying. I thank all of you who contributed your thoughts, feelings and opinions. There are some of you who really heard what the cry of my heart was. I have posted umpteen times in this thread just how bad I felt about anyone having hurt feelings. I have bared by soul to strangers in an attempt to show that I am also suffering and struggling and trying to beat this monkey on my back. Perhaps you were on the verge of ordering that pizza when you read the post. Perhaps you were in tears over the fact that you had lost the battle again and you were at your wits end when you read it. Perhaps just one of you got the wake up call and laid down the burrito and picked up your rekindled commitment to your success and health. It was for that one, altho I think there were more than one, for whom the post was written. Those of you who felt it was too harsh, judgemental, hypocritical, uncaring, unsupportive, pious, or otherwise hurtful, this thread was not intended for you. You may go back to your soft hugs and eat however you like. One suggestion though, the next time you want to share about the 2,000 calorie meal you just ate, start your post with - Dont really want to make a change, just want sympathy. At least I tried.

I told select members of my family. I had reactions on all ends of the spectrum. My mother was worried and pissed that she couldn't take off from work the day of my surgery. The very first person I told back when I was just thinking about it was my cousin who's like a sister to me. She was there with me for the surgery and has been the most supportive. She has weight issues of her own, and if & when she makes it up in her mind, I will be right there by her side too. DH was the most unsupportive. He would tell me things like, you shouldn't eat, do what I do and drink energy drinks instead of eating, eat only once a day. He knew that if I didn't eat I would get terrible headaches, and then I found out I was borderline diabetic in 2004, which contributed to the headaches when I let myself get too hungry. I told him he's never had a weight problem so he cannot relate. It wasn't until the Monday before I had the surgery that he lent his support -- AFTER he saw that I was going through with it anyway.

I have a very unsupportive family and so they had NO BUSINESS knowing about this. I only told my sister but I'm close to her, she's more like my friend than my sis. And she came down and took care of me out of the hospital. I'm FIRMLY on the no tell side....no one needs to know!! This is your body, this is your deal. You tell who YOU feel good about knowing and who will SUPPORT you and not make this harder on you. Having this surgery is about you!!! So you need to feel loved and supported as you go in. If it will freak out your folks to know beforehand, but you struggle with them not knowing, maybe you tell them after? It's really between you and your husband and no one else. To this day, I can count on one hand the people who know about my band (other than doctors). I just recently told the guy I'm dating. It just felt right to let him know and he is cool about it. But other than that....no one at work knows, just my sis, two friends, my cousin (who is a friend) and now my new guy. That's it!!

apparently she hasn't cared enough to come back and check her supportive posts from everyone.........why all antsy in the pantsy?? Sometimes I don't get a lot of posts or answers to threads I start .........no need to up and call everyone unsupportive and not come back..jeesh

I recieved what I felt was a very sarcastic and unsupportive response from a member on this site. I feel I fight enough of that with the insurance company and Dr. offices...I sure don't need it from a "support" site. I really do not care to deal with comments from that individual again. Hope there is something I can do. Thanks

I think most of us are hesitant to tell anyone simply because we have tried unsucessfully so many other diets and are worried that this somehow will not work either because nothing else has. And who wants someone that we care about to be unsupportive of our decision when we're so excited about it? I have told a couple people nearest to me, my husband and a few friends and I got the same negative reaction from most, but hey, everyone's entitled to their opinion, right? It's my body and I'm the one suffering with the problem with obesity, so I did it for me. I've lost 18 lbs so far, and now my friends are very supportive - funny how that works... Bottom line is, if you choose to share this experience with others, just be prepared for a negative reaction, but keep in mind you're doing this for your health & happiness not theirs. They will eventually come around when they see you melting away. This forum is an excellent source of support and information, so keep posting your thoughts cuz it helps all of us!

Hi everyone, well this is my first posting and I must say its fantastic getting to see all the photos and read all the stories from people who have gone down the lapband road. To cut a long story short I came here to the U.S four years ago and fell in love with the woman of my dreams. We got married and now I'm here to stay. Unfortuanatly since being here the weight has just piled on and with that the depression has set in. I was always a big person but living a life which I know enjoy has made me larger than ever. I've thought about doing this for some time now and approached my doctor who said maybe I just needed to exercise!!!! As if I hadn't thought of that!!! I thought then it may be wise to approach my insurance provider, NGS who I guess have to say have been unsupportive. So now I'm here trying to find the best doctor to do the lapband. I have the funding in place but not for American surgeons. I've narrowed it down to a few, Dr.Joya being one of them. Any advice from anyone would be fantastic in deciding where to go. I would also like to see some advice from the men on this site. There seems to be lots of women here but a short supply of men. I'm wondering are things different?, do we get different pains?, do we lose weight the same as ladies? I have loads of questions and would love to see loads of advice. One last thing, how long is the norm from when you contact the surgeon to when you can have surgery, is there a long wait? Like I said its great to see all you wonderful people and I'm really looking forward to making a life changing decision. Congratulations to you all...Gordon

"Way out." Who cares what KIND of way out it is, it's a way out! I'm 23, and I can honestly say I probably have done 'every diet known to man' like so many of the other people on the boards, but if I know in my heart that the diets I DID try didn't work, and most diets are pretty close to the same anyway, why would any of the other ones work for me when they failed so many others? This surgery was an option for me to do SOMETHING when I was doing NOTHING. I'm going to be blunt and say that if your husband says he's going to leave you for this, and he's not bluffing, he was going to leave you for something anyway. I'm not trying to say that your marriage is over by anymeans, the only details of it know are what you've written here, but I'm sure you get the jest of what I'm saying. Someone can be not-supportive, kind of neutral, without being unsupportive... if that makes any kind of sense. I'm glad you made your appointment. Maybe when he really sees that you are REALLY serious, he'll listen to you a little more?

I'm am pre-band but have pretty much 100% made up my mind to get banded. My problem is I am getting very stressed dealing with family members who are being very (in my mind) unsupportive. I know they are just trying to help me by telling me about so and so that lost 30 pounds by exersizing, suggesting I go to fat camp or hypnosis, lecturing me about how dangerous surgery is, etc. It makes me feel so bad when people say why don't I exersize, eat better, etc. etc. etc. Nobody understands that food is a drug and I can diet but I can't follow thru, I can exersize by my knees start hurting so bad b/c I'm fat that I can't follow thru. Even my husband who is normally THE BEST says he thinks I won't follow thru w/ any of the "normal" weight loss regimens b/c I have the band in the back of my head. I have to wonder if that is true. Of course, I tell him the band is no quick fix and it's just an aid to change my life and if I had the willpower I wouldn't need the band, etc. But then I wonder if I'm kidding myself and I wake up feeling bad like I should try to power diet and run around teh neighborhood but all I can do is sit here and be sad eating froster mini wheats. I'm sorry to go off like this, I just need to know if anyone else has dealt with this, and how. I understand why people don't beleive me when I say "I just can't" keep to a diet and exersize routine, and I realize I have no good answer. I guess I'd just like some words of encouragement from people who do understand, rather than people who have been skinny thier whole lives and eat whatever they want, and have no idea what it's like to be trapped in a fat body w/ a mind of it's own!

I was banded on the 17th of May and so far have lost 21 pounds (gotta update that ticker...lol). The problem is my husband and I have a friend that is well, less than supportive about what I have done. My husband is great about it. He asks how I am doing and even has heard me ramble on enough that he can explain the band and the basic workings of it to anyone that asks. Bless his heart. But this guy we know goes back and forth from "I want to have that done" to "I can't give up what I love." The guy is on SSI and disability and was told that if he would loose some weight he would most likely be able to work. Anytime I have a tired day, or a little pain he says "see what that surgery has done to you?". I have explained it all the ways I can think of. And right or wrong I sometimes just see him as lazy and unwilling to change as well as determined to sabotage someone else's happiness. My husband has told him to lay off that I am fine and that this was a great decision we made. (Yes, we made the decision. My husband and I talked about what I wanted to have done a long time before I had it done.) What do you do when you have friends that just can't accept it or maybe are jealous? I know this may sound heartless but does there come a time when you just have to say goodbye and leave them behind?

Hello. I wanted to put something clever in my subject line so you'd want to click the post and read it... Anyway, my name is, perhaps not surprisingly, Jonathan. I'm scheduled to have lab band surgery at the Molding Clinic in TJ on January 11th. I just found this site, and due to some (albeit unsupported) statements against the Molding Clinic, I have to admit I'm having some concerns. I had a frustrating experience with Humana. I knew I had an obesity exclusion (excluding weight loss surgery or any other treatment for obesity) and when I called Humana to ask them about it, I quoted the part of my coverage document that stated it. They told me there was still hope, that I needed to go through preauthorization and then let the appropriate division in Humana make the decision. After receiving the preauthorization request, I was told that they were going to deny me, because I had an exclusion in my policy. I told them that I *knew* I had an exclusion, and that I'd pointed it out before, and the person told me that the customer service representitives have to tell patients what I was told, because they're not "qualified" to interpret a coverage document... or something to that effect. If you're thinking what I've typed here makes no sense, then you're at the same place I am. Anyway, my understanding is that I'll have no luck appealing the decision, since the policy clearly states that WLS is an exclusion, so I've decided to go the Mexico way. A couple of years ago I lost 100 lbs, and swore to myself I'd *never* gain it back. I went from 316 to 215. I'm now at 330 lbs. I'm sure my story isn't unique in this group, so I'll stop it there, and ask a couple of questions. 1) Does anyone here have good or bad experiences with the Molding Clinic they'd like to share? I did a search, and didn't really find much, other than what I mentioned at the start of this post. 2) When I was going to have surgery in the US, I was told I had to be on a strict, low carb 2 week pre-op diet, designed to shrink the size of my liver. I've read here that some people have been on a 1 week liquid diet before surgery. I was told by Andres at the Molding Clinic that no pre-op diet was necessary. Any thoughts or comments on the pre-op diet thing? I look forward to the fellowship and support I'm sure I'll both find and give in this forum in the years to come. Jonathan

Tina, Take a deep breath and take the process one step at a time. The approval part with insurance (in my opinion) is the most tedious part. Do you have a letter of medical necessity from your primary care physician? You can see samples of letters and give one to your doc to fill in the blanks. I found a sample on obesityhelp.com and I used this sample coupled with records. I am sure that your doc office can help you with the precertification criteria. You picked a very good doc to do your surgery. Ren and Fielding are the two of the best. Regarding supportive or unsupportive folks, I had the same situation. A lot of folks dont know what the lapband is and they try to compare it to the bypass. My mom kept saying to me, "Why do you want to have the surgery that Al Roker had?" She figured one laparoscopic surgery was like another. NOw she is so proud of my success and sends my pics to everyone. Mostly people who love you worry cause they just dont understand how NON-invasive the lapband surgery is and think you should just be able to lose the weight with traditional "Dieting" which we all know does not work long term. So hang in there, do lots of research and be comfortable with your decision. All of us have been here and you are on your way to a healthier life.! Babs in TX 334/188/170 -146 6/23/03