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It's been interesting looking back over my entries on this blog along with the journal that I keep intermittently on my computer. I think that it's chronicled not only the weight loss side of my journey, but a portion on my journey through my mental illness in relationship to my weight. I started seeing a therapist last week. I probably should have sooner, and for anyone who has any kind of mental health disorder and is thinking about/having/had the surgery and even some of those who don't have a mental health disorder, it is something I would definitely recommend. I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and it has huge ties to my weight, so it's definitely relevant for me to have new issues as well as old issues cropping up as I continue to lose weight. It's funny because before surgery I reminded myself a number of times that weight loss was not a catch all for solving many of the problems that I have. Weight loss is just that - a loss of weight to increase my health. I am now at 233 (lowest I have seen is 232) and still losing steadily, although much slower than before. Some days I feel like my entire life has changed, others I feel like I'm still left standing in the same place. Half of the time I cannot see the weight loss in the mirror. I can see it in the pictures, I hear it from the people around me, but there's this mental disconnect between that and the person I see in the mirror. I fit into smaller pants and my measurements shrink, but my waist still looks the same size (though one side of my stomach is bigger than the other, apparently I have some scar tissue or something holding my left side at a little bit larger around the stomach). I think this is one of my biggest struggles in regards to motivation. So now that I'm approximately five months out, I'd like to take a minute for myself to outline what I think are the good and the bad that I've experienced from this surgery and from my journey over the past five months. Good: - Moving down from size 28 tight pants to size 22 slightly tight pants - Hearing my coworker tell me today that I look like half of the person I used to be and that I now have a baby face - Being told by my boyfriend that from the back waist up I look like I was never heavy to begin with, supposedly I now have a thin frame - Having my mom notice that you can see my cheek bones - Not being out of breath when trying to keep up with my classmates - Having my smaller scrubs be too big and baggy - Having my boyfriend be able to wrap his arms almost all the way around me (like almost back to himself) - Having a boyfriend who is amazing (Yes, I attribute meeting him to the confidence I gained after surgery) - Being able to walk up flights of stairs without being winded - Being able to shave my legs without feeling like I'm doing some weird acrobatics - Every time I realize something new fits - Being able to sit next to someone on a bus and not feel like they are crossing their fingers I don't sit next to them - Having a ton of extra length on my seatbelt - Realizing I have collar bones and bones in my shoulders - Being able to see the bones/tendons in my hands - Having my rings fit every finger - Feeling like people look at me instead of through me - Not feeling like the largest person in every room - Hitting the high end of projected weight loss by my doctor and still continuing to lose - Not seeing a 3 on the beginning number of the scale - Having lost something like 20% body fat according to my scale - Not having to clear my plate out of anxiety at social settings - Being cold at night instead of sweating my butt off (I prefer blankets to fans) - Not feeling like the first thing people see is my weight - Feeling comfortable enough in my body to have sex with the lights on and no covers - Being able to reach my toes without doing weird bending manuvers - Being able to paint my toenails - The relief of not being at imminent risk of diabetes at 25 - Being able to fit in the bathroom stall and not always having to seek out the handicapped one - The periods of increased confidence - Feeling like I am moving on in my life Bad: - Hormonal imbalances - increases in mood swings, neediness, clingyness, irritability - Saggy skin - Lack of motivation to: Work out, take vitamins, get in protein - I struggle daily to fight my noncompliance - Fatigue (Probably related in part to intermittent compliance with vitamins and protein) - Anxiety related to the possibility of ever gaining the weight back - Alcoholism could easily become a problem - I have to stay away from it completely - Dealing with feelings rather than being able to turn to food for comfort So the goods obviously outweigh the bads by far. And many of the downsides are either related to mental health issues that were already present and have started to reoccur or lack of compliance with my plan. I have tried to start schedules for myself and that's one of the things I will be working on with my therapist. I have always had issues with compliance - and the biggest thing I need to do is make sure that I get all of my medicines and vitamins in, because I feel 110% better when I do. So my New Years resolutions will include: - Setting a day out every month to increase my compliance through scheduling, setting short term goals, and recognizing where my weaknesses have been - Increasing my exercise - Tracking my protein - Not allowing myself to justify that bad foods are ok because I can only have 2 bites anyway (2 bites four times a week still adds up) That was kind of long and rambley. Anyway, I hope that it helps others who might be looking into this and have some of the same mental health issues to maybe understand what it's like on the other side so that maybe they can prepare a little better and be able to manage some of the barriers to health better than I have.

I'm four days "removed" and last night my parents waltz in with all these Christmas goodies and put them in front of me like its no big deal. My brother is aghast at all the pastries and cookies and they, who have never bought so much junk before, seem carefree and "innocent" I just smiled and walked upstairs to my room. Funny thing is, while I wasn't physically hungry, I could see how head hunger and bad habits can easily lead you down the wrong path. So for me, I think isolation and reflection this holiday season is going to be my M.O. Some people may think its the cowards way out, but I wouldn't drink in front of an alcoholic, but I also wouldn't expect them to expect me to change my life for their issues. With food, I feel the same. Marie Antoinette said, "Let them eat cake!" This holiday, I will concur.

Why have the surgery? Because alcohol, like other things I put in my mouth, can be consumed in moderation throughout my lifetime. The surgery does not alter that. Because I collect and we plan on making wine in the future. I enjoy the craft of wine making, the artistry, the skill, it's pretty amazing. You speak as if it's all or nothing, but that's silly. It maybe for you, but many others enjoy having a drink on occasion. It will not be traveling unchecked to the liver (no medical basis for that statement) and if taken in moderation causes no damage to the body. Sure if we were talking a fifth a week or day...ya, get away from it, but to say never? That's just rediculous for most adults.

Be gentle with yourself. Life is about learning how to pick yourself up and go on. Not allowing in a mistake to keep you down. Celebrate that you are learning and growing. We all go through the same thing. Over and Over again. Different situations, same feeling of worthlessness. And, just as you would tell me, I am telling you. Go easy on yourself. I made up my mind that i was only fat. Others have their own crutches - drugs, alcohol, affairs, spending habits......whatever. ..............And I am learning to deal with my problem. But thanks for posting your feelings. I learned from your post and the others who posted. I have been beating myself up for the fact that I quit after the first 60 lbs. I am going to take my own advice and be gentle with myself, acknowledge why I stopped after the first 60 lbs,and simply go on to lose 60 more. You are on the right road. The first couple miles (weeks) are bumpy. Have faith - it gets SO much better. You will be smiling in no time.

@Jessica9091 Your husband sounds like my boyfriend minus the weight. I'm actually with someone who's underweight, but he was an alcoholic for several years, so I supported him through his time of need, as I still do. I honestly think he may need counseling. I also work for a big corp. My boss knew about my surgery. I was terrified to tell her, but I felt so much better after I did. My problem is with 2 other chicks. I don't understand why they still have a job. It can be so unprofessional at times. I always turn to food for comfort too, but I haven't been able to do that lately, so I'm always out and walking around. It seems to work. I joined a gym too. Haven't been in a couple weeks, but I'm there as soon as I have energy when I get off from work.

I agree with the alcohol thing, I think it is deplorable that the government not only allows but makes a horrifying mockery of the damage it causes (illness, death, violence, destruction, addictions, abuse, motor vehicle accidents ect ect ect) but I digress, your question was about thc and I simply MUST reiterate that while it as a substance has it's own pros and cons, in conjunction with the surgery I do not believe it will assist your success by any measurable degree...

My doctor said never. Which I don't care, since I didn't drink before. His reasoning is that my stomach is so small now, do not waste the space on useless calories. Use the space for something useful, like Protein. Also, it does enter your system undiluted, and WILL cause liver damage, and WILL damage the lining of your stomach. Is having a drink really that important? Were we not all warned before surgery about alcohol use? I was, about a million times. If drinking alcohol is important to you, why have the surgery?

Jessica, have you talked to your psychologist about this? Have you thought about getting counselling to work through the issues you are experiencing? Sadly the statistics are not good as far as 'transferance addictions' and VSG. Some people can turn to alcohol, some to gambling, and some to shopping. Also, some people still over eat, and then vomit often. I am not saying any of these things will happen to you, but unfortunately they can. The only advise that I can give you is to try taking to a counselour now so start working on these things so hopefully you can make your life better, and avoid having such a tough time before you get the VSG. Good luck!!

yeah well I don't drink alcohol im against it I think it should be illegal, I don't use any tobacco products and I don't use any other kind of drug, ive only tried mushroom's and that's it. im 23 and the last timd I got drunk was my 21st birthday. Fred Montana JR

Well I am about 4.5 months post surgery and have lost an astonishing 125lbs! I did however experience my first stall last month when I went THREE weeks without losing a single ounce! I knew it would happen sooner or later but after almost four months of steadily losing approx. 5lbs a week it was a stark reality check. I find that even this soon after the surgery it is easy to let diligence slide and slip back into naughty habits. I have since reminded myself what unholy hell the entire process was to get here and that serves as effective motivation to keep my protien up and my fat/carbds down. Luckily I have had very little temptation with some of my trigger foods (soda pop, pizza, sweets ect) however, I did slip up on my birthday and allow myself to eat a small peice of raspberry ice cream cake and a few bites of chinese food, and while it has been MONTHS since i have touched alcohol and YEARS since a birthday bender I nonetheless spent the night over the toilet and in excruciating pain...lesson learned! To avoid stalls i have also begun to increase my exercise bi-weekly (an extra 15m session on the treadmill here, an extra half hour of aquafitness there) and my weight loss had returned to it's former glory

Hi LB, I am also a (former) thc user, I had used for approx 15 years and recently quit (not just for surgery) aside from the risks that being a smoker creates for the "going under" part of the surgery, I personally found that on the two occaisions I have smoked (both times as pain management) since surgery (aug 9 2012) I found I felt sick, nauseous, got dangerous munchies and ZERO motivation to get anything done! I would honestly say that if you are considering having the surgery, which is a MAJOR life/behaviour altering process I would advocate for the ceassation of using all drugs, alcohol and tobacco. It jusy makes sense to focus on ALL aspects of ones health. Good luck in your endeavors!

That's completely false information. Yes if you drink like a fish, a bottle a day, sure you'll have issues, (which are not complications, they are issues related to the alcohol, not the surgery). ANYONE WOULD! Another NUT!

We've been told that if we drink alcohol, it's not an issue of if we have complications, but when. My NUT and case manager worry about gastritis and ulcers, along with transfer of addiction. That being said, not quite 6 months post op and I've enjoyed an occasional glass off wine or beer. No upset tummy yet.

After having worked with many NUTS due to my son's medical condition, I can tell you from experience that the majority of NUTS are aptly named as such. 90% of them let their personal opinions override any medical information they may have gained in their five mins of medical training. They make blanket and stupid statements, such as the one that you heard, which are completely false, and sadly people believe them because they have a title and work in the medical field. If the cleaning lady at the hospital said that you'd dismiss it right? Well she's probably smarter than the NUT Honestly, when I've challenged these idiots on total stupidity that has come out of their mouths they fall apart. Total idiots and we are supposed to PAY for their services! I can't even begin to tell you the stupid things they've said to me about my son's needs in the past. My favorite was one who told me to force feed him juice (he was two months old and less than 8lbs) because he needed to develop a taste for natural flavors at that age or he'd never be healthy. Tell me....how do you force feed a baby without drowning them???? Oh and did I mention he had chronic and explosive diarrhea so fruit juice was a 100% off limit item to us on the orders of our doctors? They're fools, and you were listing to a classic fool apparently who maybe had an alcoholic father or something. THere is NO medical data to back that up and frankly, I'd ask them for the studies in class next time to put them on the spot. Ask if they can bring it to the next meeting with references of course because you are finding that the information might be misleading or some other not threatening style question Bet they call in sick the next meeting LOL Your nut is a NUT! As to the liquor hitting you quicker This is actually not true of all sleevers. I find that it is quite the opposite for me. I only drink wine, so to be fair I don't know how hard liquor would effect me, but wine, while I drink less of it, actually does not effect me as much as it did prior to surgery and any effect I do feel goes away quickly. The only thing I have noticed as a trend, and this is only twice so it might not be my long term effects....is that if I have more than two glasses of wine during a long evening I wake up with a terrible headache. But I'm also able to drive home because while everyone else is partying silly I have sobered up quickly. And I use that term, sober, gently because I don't seem to get even tipsy. I actually don't mind this because we are wine collectors and wine tastings and dinners are a big part of our life. It's nice not to feel like a total lush after just a glass or two LOL

Ummm... I think there are plenty of people on here that do have the occasional glass of something that can tell you first had nothing, that I know of, happens to their body- myself included. There are definitely very opposing opinions on the subject but I, myself, believe everything in moderation. I have never heard on here that your stomach can become nercrotic and there have been tons of posts regarding the subject of drinking alcohol after being sleeved. I wish you all the best and Happy Holidays!

I have not heard anything like that either. I know with my program, they want you to stay away from alcohol in the losing phase because it is very high in calories. You will also not be likely to have any kind of carbonated kind either, especially beer. The carbonation is very painful. The only other caution is like mentioned above. It takes very little to start feeling it, so take it slow! I am over 2 years post-op and enjoy the occasional beverage.

I am 13 months post op. i haven't heard anything like this about drinking alcohol. I will say that when i drink now it takes a lot less to get me where i wanna go if you know what i mean. Liquor hits you a quicker but it tends to burn off quicker also. after doing some quick googling it looks like alcohol can cause Alcoholism-induced bone necrosis. but it seems what you would have to be a alcoholic for several years before this set in. a few drinks from time to time shouldn't hurt you. hopefully this helps.

i love martinis and gin & tonics. But i no longer want the empty calories. Post-op I am happy to give up alcohol. Maintaining weight loss is more important to me.

I had to sign a waiver that I would not drink alcohol for a year if not longer. The way it was explained to me, it has nothing to do with hurting you stomach, but it has everything to do with how your body will handle alcohol. The smaller stomach has fewer enzymes to break down the alcohol and you have teh potential to become inebriated much more quickly. 21 is a special year, but like everyone else said, you should wait. It doesn't matter that there may be alcohol in your Loratab. When you are on Loratab, you are not allowed to drive or handle large equipment/machines because of impaired judgement.

This is what support group told me tonight led by our NUT. If we as sleevers drink, everything pass our stomach will become necrotic. You mean to tell me that a glass of wine here and there is gng to KILL me? I know a lot of surgeons release their patient to drink in small moderation at like 3-4 months. What gives? What are ur thoughts?

But let's be honest, you asked about drinking alcohol one week after surgery. I think some "duh" answers are to be expected when asking a question that has SUCH an obvious answer!

Not a good idea, not only because you are freshly sleeved but because alcohol is nothing but empty calories and you are trying to lose not gain. I'm 6 months out and I am refusing to touch it ever again, not worth it.

So tomorrow is my big day! And I'm so nervous I can barely sit still. Im excited about my new life but then I'm scared it won't work or that I will regret having the surgery... I'm nervous about the pain???? I'm nervous about how long I will be laid up??? And not extremely important questions but just curious. 1st: how long did most of u have to wait to have sex? I mean comfortablely. 2ndly: My most favorite drink is Malibu and pineapple. Will I never get to drink it again? Or alcohol for that matter? Kind feel Iike I'm going in this blind....

be careful with the "juicing". I take it you mean fruit juices. Those are very high in carbs. An 8oz glass of OJ has like 28 carbs. The reason for the chewable vitamins is that are stomachs dont produce a lot of acids and can't break down vitamins and minerals like other peoples. That is why our diets are set up like they are. Like butter said it's very important to keep your fluid intake (water) up. the alcohol flushes water out so minimize that and drink 48-60 oz water

6 per week is a drinking problem? My friend must be a full-blown alcoholic, cuz she can knock back 10 at a time!