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Okay, we'll agree to disagree on the fact that spanking is abuse but there are those of us to choose other means of disciplining children over spanking. We can use drunk driving as an example. We can also agree that driving under the influence is against the law in the US, whatever the blood alcohol level is over the amount that is permitted. In the US it may different state to state but there are also consistencies. I personally do not know how much is too much for me to drink. I've never been pulled over for a DWI and if I had been drinking would not know if one drink, two drinks, three drinks would send me over the permitted amount. So when I drive I choose not to drink as I would be avoiding breaking any laws or hurting anyone while driving under the influence. Since I was a teenager the laws have become much stricter and I am more compliant when it comes to following those laws. It makes me think before I drive and drink. Now there are those of us who would think before we drove and drank but there are always those of us who choose not to follow the law and will drink and drive and possibly hurt or kill someone. I find it similar with spanking. Which I am singling out and this was a discussion on spanking, not any other form of abuse. That's a whole other topic which I think we can all agree those types of abuse are against the law and are wrong for many, many reasons. If spanking were against the law in the US there would be those that would stop and not spank and use a different means. Possibly there would be an educational type program put in place to educate people on how to discipline their children when the need occurred. An example would be drunk driving and prom night and how they educate the high school kids on not driving and drinking and also the D.A.R.E programs in the elementary schools. So they are reaching out and teaching our children at a young age not for fun but because it's a problem and it's needed. There will always be people who drink and drive even if there is a law but there are those who it will reach and they will think about it as I myself have. If I hadn't learned other methods other than spanking my children I probably would have spanked and not even thought twice about it. There are always those that take it too far but why not educate them now and hopefully they will relate the fact that what they do to their child now can have consequences down the line. Maybe they don't know enough when to stop or how hard to hit and they cross the line just like someone who drinks and drives may not know how much is too many and cross the line and drink too much. In each circumstance someone crosses the line and could possible injure or kill another person. Just something to think about. I think children have the right not to be hit even if it is by a loving parent and I don't believe it makes my view to be a socialist view.

I think the problem here is those of you against spanking feel that because someone spanks they will or do abuse their child. It is well beyond ignorance. It would be like saying everyone who drinks is an alcoholic and a drunk driver or someone who smokes cigarettes smokes pot as well. You equate something that is NOT ILLEGAL to something that is. Just because you disagree with it doesn't mean we are abusers. I feel that the line of thinking is absurd. I do fully agree that their are people who do cross the line, but SERIOUSLY no law would stop them from doing so? Please get real. People who abuse their children do not stop and say in their head "Ooops there is a law, I am going to get in trouble." Those who spank as a means of last resort are not abusers, no matter how you all try to focus your thought process that they are. I agree it is ideal to never have to spank, but can not be achieved for everyone. AND if someone is a child abuser they are doing a hell of a lot more than spanking, but you all fail to see that. Ignorance is bliss???

I grew up in a horrible, abusive, alcoholic, drug infested household. I was beat, verbally abused, and worse. Much worse. Even after all that if my child was throwing a hissy fit and the only way to stop them was to spank them. I would. Spanking isn't abuse. It's simply a way to try to make the kid not do what they were doing. Slapping a kid on the bum is saying DON'T DO THAT, just like you do with a dog. Abuse is abuse. Spanking is not.

But that's not really the situation with the OP. The situation was that it was sooooooo soon after surgery. Your surgeon (unless you're in the UK or Europe) probably said at week 2-4 that you're only on puree or soft foods at that point. He says no alcohol for 8weeks-1 year or more post surgery. It isn't a question of moral pulchritude. It's an issue of physical healing. Will you injure your surgery? Will you bleed out in under 4 minutes because you drank alcohol and ate a slice of pizza (or chocolates), or overate?

My surgeon told me that when you get to the point of getting 64 grams of protein a day from food then you don't have to do the shakes. The shakes are just a "helper" until you can eat regular food. The margarita question... hmmmm.... I had my first wine about 3 months out. Be careful because alcohol is empty calories and they can add up mighty quick. Also when you try your first drink make sure you are home, some people get drunk really quick some don't. I would also ask these two questions to your surgeon as well.

Froggie, You're still young, and sometimes it takes time to get over stuff. My dad just died two years ago and when he died I took a sigh of relief although I loved him because he was my father he caused me many, many years of emotional grief that no one needs in their life. I went through a lot of therapy to help me get through it. I'm a sensitive person, as you can probably tell from my posts. Just remember to get help for yourself, you're worth it. It can be very difficult to get the bad messages out of your head that they've put in there, take care brandyII. One who grew up in an alcoholic household and still feels the aftershocks!

The details of why you are seeking counseling can not disclosed to the employer. Many people see mental health professionals. Now if you are worried about a "good job", they may will ask you about any substance or alcohol dependency or abuse. If you lie on that, that could cause you a good job, as possibly coming to work while under the influence of alcohol. What is more important is that you receive help. If you do not want to see a mental health care professional, please start with a support group like AA. You are too young to ruin your life and health. Wishing you the best.

Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts. I have been in recovery since 2008, not from alcohol but pain killers and Benzodiazepines. You took the first step by admitting you have a problem....very brave. Sounds like you have a plan in place. But, like most have said here, seeking some kind of outside help like AA or a good addiction specialist will help you stay on track in the future. Please keep us posted.

the last couple of weeks I have also found myself having a drink a lot more often and ironically I decided to quit completely. like @@Proud2BMe I am close to goal but not quite there. the alcohol doesn't help with my weight or my personal issues. so it has to go.......

@@Proud2BMe - I'm really happy to hear you've made such great progress. Keep up the good work. I also encourage you to stay really open and honest with yourself about this. I believe that some people genetically are at more risk for alcoholism than others. Add in the high risk from the WLS and that's a bad combo. You slid down the slope without realizing you were slipping this last time. Now you know the slope is there, so you can use all your awareness to try to avoid it. Unfortunately, you might not be able to walk anywhere near that slope anymore. As I said in my last post, I've never had a problem and hope that I can still have a glass of wine socially here and there, but your post made me realize, that might not be the case. You also might not be able to "enjoy an occasional drink." I know it feels like there must be a way to just have an occasional one, but that's walking on the top of that slippery hill and you could quickly start sliding without even knowing. My father and mother both used to drink a lot before I was born. They both quit. My mother can have an occasional drink, like maybe 3x a year and is fine. My father hasn't been able to touch even one sip in 40+ years because he knows he can't get close to that slope. You've tuned in your awareness to this right now. Keep it at high alert. Keep up the good work! Don't be afraid to get some professional help if you are feeling challenged. I don't know you, but I have faith in you!

OMG I am really excited to have found these! I'm sure a lot of you know about them but I just discovered them. For those who haven't tried them, they are protein bars that taste good, are extremely low in sugar (2-3 grams), very satisfying and 20 grams of protein! Best of all, the original line has NO sugar alcohols whoo hooo! I really dont want to have two shakes a day forever and, I wanted something I could travel with when necessary. Awesome!

I used to adore a strong coffee but now I can't stand the smell of it, especially if an empty cup is not moved right away. I was a beer and cider drinker luckily in the UK there are quite a few beers and ciders that are not carbonated. My NUT said I should not have alcohol for 3 months.

There are some very smart people on here with good advice. I was a smoker but not every day or week, sometimes months without. My lung doc told me if I didn't stop there would be nothing he could do to help me. I smoked more after that. I got vertigo and was told it might last 1 to 2 weeks. Well 10 weeks later it went away and the quickest way for it to come back is by drinking alcohol or smoking. Even when I was smoking there were friends houses I would go to where they smoked in the house. My home is 49 years old and we have never smoked in it. It finally got down to if we wanted to get together if I had just washed my waist length hair they knew I would not come so I wouldn't have to wash it when I came home, we would hang out side. My nephew stopped for a while but went back and does not have the energy or desire to do anything after getting off work. You have a lot going on right now, but you have many options. This surgery requires a lot of physical, emotional, and mental strength, so maybe working on getting your relationship in a good place should be a priority before the surgery. Many things can happen for the good if you can sit down rationally and talk, even have a buffer if necessary. We all change and grow in our own time. You are in the same boat with a hole in it, instead of throwing water at each other, help each other bail it out. I hope you continue to seek help be it spiritual or professional. I see a lot of underlying issues that needs addressing for both of your sakes. You have time, so no need for rash decisions, really talk to each other and find out where you both want to go from here. You might just be surprised by the abundant blessings waiting for both of you. God bless you and your family.

Good luck... cut out the sodas and alcohol and it will go faster! Try diet sodas or crystal light.

I'm a big beer drinker... I just told my friends No food and no alcohol...I'm in hell aren't I? They just laughed.. I've also been told when you can drink again you won't be able to drink like you did before... I actually stopped drinking coffee and sodas Nov. 7th because I knew it would be hard to stop cold turkey. I was an at least 6-7 cans of coke drinker a day on top of my two cups of coffee every morning.. I had a headache for damn near 3 weeks straight, but I'm good now!

The Friday confessions were such a big hit last week and all the way through Monday that I thought I'd open it up for the entire weekend. My flame free confession? I had 4 glasses of wine last night and I smoked (because I was drinking of course) The really bad part is that when I started drinking I had only had about 20oz or so all day, so about half of my Fluid intake yesterday was alcohol. Mmmmmm Reisling

I could echo most of what everyone else is saying; I'm now 5 days post-op banding and because I've been surrounded by the mental attitude of staying on the liquid diet thru this period, I made some good soups and have juices, liquid supplements etc, food begins to fade just the tiniest bit. Not something you'd think would happen to someone who did all the typical "last supper" days. Shit, 2 days before surgery, I'd gotten rid of all my junk food, but like a maniac, scrounged thru the kitchen, found a box of brown suger, boiled it into taffy and ate the whole pan of it in one sitting. Did I feel bad? duh...Yes, us food addicts have it bad; it is not an easy thing to come to grips with, but acknowledging it, like an alcoholic does is a good place to start. Stay in touch with the support group, read up on compulsive overeating and if need be, find a good eating disorder therapist to work with. I'm reading something my therapist recommended called, "Eating under the light of the moon". It's very gentle and reassuring. Keep the faith! You've been led this far so I think the band is a great tool that will help us. warmly, sufina:cursing:

I'm 100% with Hazel on this. She covered it all..... Now that I'm 4 months out, there isn't any eating situation that concerns me. If we go out to a restaurant, I order a meal, eat what I can, and either leave the rest or take it home. The ONLY reason you would have a stuck episode, is if you take too big a bite, and don't chew thoroughly. Taking small bites & chewing well isn't obvious to anyone you eat with. You are eating.....that's all they see. As Hazel said, if your social life involves drinking on a regular basis, you will have problems losing weight. There is not a lot of room for regular alcohol intake on any weight loss plan, because there aren't any nutrients and your body can only store it as fat. That, and drinking brings on loose eating for many; it does for me! If you DO drink, count the calories, and make sure you don't consistently blow your daily allowance. Maintenance is another story, but it doesn't mean that you can throw caution to the wind. Relax, and take the time necessary to "reset" as Hazel mentions, and get re-aquainted with food, and what will ultimately be your new "normal". Good luck!

I was also getting horrible gas that started in the afternoon - it was my Protein bar in the morning. I guess that I am sensitive to sugar alcohol because once I switch to a brand without the sugar alcohol the gas went away. I think your 50 lb loss is awsome and you should be proud of yourself!! We may be a little slower but in the end we are a little firmer. Good luck,

Hi Kay, As far as Diet coke I still don't drink carbonation drinks. I sipped it once and it gave me an amount of Gas that I won't forget. But I've read people here that can tolerate carbonation. Being real about Alcohol. Talk to your doctor. I do have an occasional drink of alcohol but I can't tolerate sugary drinks of any I tried it my self at the same time. That said enjoy your Holiday.

Tuesday, March 6th which means I start my pre-op diet this Tuesday ) VERY worried about this part of all of it. How will I ever survive? I imagine it being like being addicted to drugs or alcohol and just stopping cold turkey!! Any advice???

Is egg nog ok? Has anyone tried to drink this? I didnt use cream or alcohol. 1 raw egg 1 pkt Truvia 1 cup Lucerne Original Light Soymilk 1/4 - 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1- 2 sprinkles of cinnamon or nutmeg 300 ml total= Four 75 ml servings its not as thick as Protein drinks but i dont know why it kinda hurts (my back) as it goes down. Maybe i should add Water or something. My dietitian is supposed to call me tomorrow morning for a phone appt. so ill chill it for now and ask tomorrow. Next time ill have to try: Unsweetened plain soymilk Ice / water Use a blender. Drops of vanilla extract

I occasionally drink - tequila, beer, Mike's Harder Lemonade. I don't drink very often, so it was about 6 months post-op before I had my 1st drink. Now that I'm 2 years post-op, I'm not worried about drinking. But for the 1st year, I was worried about the extra calories in alcohol. I just take into account the approximate calorie count in my drinks and cut back on my carbs to make up for it. I have notice that I get a buzz faster, but it doesn't seem to last as long.

As I am in maintenance mode, I enjoy alcohol. Just beware as you haven't consumed in a while, your tolerance may be lower. We still absorb the same, so the surgery hasn't changed anything. Keep calories in mind when consuming. Otherwise, enjoy!! :-)

Good job getting a head start. I'm an OR nurse and I'm only here to help you by telling you not to shave your abdomen. In the OR, we use clippers, not razors. The reason is that clippers don't cause trauma to the skin like razors. When you shave with a razor, it causes nicks, some you can see and some you can't. The nicks can cause entry points for bacteria thereby causing infection. Also, the clipper blades used in surgery are single use blades, so everything is surgically clean. If you want to get clipped at home, make sure your clipper blade is clean and free of any hair, and douse it with alcohol before use. Using the hibiclens to shower the night before, and the morning of surgery is ideal. Good Luck!!!!