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Yesterday was a tough blog post for me. Because I had a bad morning yesterday, it started bringing up all those old feelings. I made myself remember all of it. Not just Buffalo Butt, not just the bus, but more... There were so many times that I was interested in a boy that befriended me only to end up dating one of my (thinner) friends. It's very possible it was because they just didn't want to date ME, but all I saw was rejection of a fatty. As an adult, I had two long distance relationships right out of college and that is it. Nada in about a decade. I've only kissed one guy in about 6 years, I think? And that was a drunken hook up at a friend's wedding. Ha! Growing up, I was the same size as some of my friends, but I always considered myself the fat one. I look at pictures and that wasn't really the case. All my friends had dates and boyfriends, but I didn't. My mom said that I always pushed them away or cut them off. The older I get, the more I realize that might be somewhat true. You know that Rodney Dangerfield quote about him not wanting to join any club that would have himself as a member? That's me, I think. In my head, I don't want to date anyone that would want to date me. Wow. That's just kinda sad...like, really...sad. Did I mention that I love boys? I do. I'm boy crazy, in fact!! I just never get past the admiring stage. I know I'm smart. I know I'm witty (in person...not so much in writing, ha!) I know that I am a natural leader, have a good work ethic and I'm nice. Apparently humble as well. But all that is negated much of the time because I'm fat. I was driving with a guy friend one time and he told me that guys will choose the skinny girl over the better looking overweight girl every time. He said that he knew it sucked, but it was true. That has really stuck with me. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that fat people get married, fat people have sex, fat people date. I know all of that. While I can imagine a romantic scenario with a cute guy in fantasy, I have a hard time truly imagining it in reality. About 4 years ago, I think I had a pretty good chance with a cute guy. We would email, talk on the phone and generally made excuses to see each other. It didn't work out and I started to gain weight. I didn't stop for 80 pounds. All the weight gain wasn't about him, for sure. But I have no doubt that it contributed to the start of it. I know I feel better about myself now at 227 than I did at 285. No question about it. So, I do think that as I lose weight, I will continue to feel better about myself. I don't think when I am 185 that I will see myself in the mirror as if I am 285 or 225. Maybe the argument is that I should be happy with myself regardless of the number on the scale. But I don't think that is my reality. We'll see. One thing I do know is that I haven't stuck with anything this long and I have officially lost more at one time than I ever have before. I WILL lose 120 pounds and I WILL feel good about my body. I can't promise that losing the weight will net me a boyfriend. I know better than that. But if I feel good about myself, I know that will reflect and will at least allow for the possibility. I will work on a happier post for tomorrow!!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and support. To answer the question "Why were you denied?": AETNA states the reason was because I had not followed a 6 month doctor supervised diet. They wouldn't accept that I've been on a strict diebetic diet with Dr. documented weight data every three months for the past 5 years and that I am at the end of my rope with the diabetes. I'm alergic to the non-weight gaining diabetic medications and I'm maxed out on the dosage as well. I've been working with one of the best bariatric surgery centers in Orange Co. California and supposedly the wording has been the best that it can be. When I called Aetna I was told that even if I were on my death bed I'd be required to complete the 6 month diet. But it's also my understanding that the requirement is dependent on the policy itself. So, some of us with AETNA will get this road block where as others will not.

Make sure and talk to your doc about which antidepressant he/she puts you on... I have been taking amiltriptyline for years and it seems to work the best on me (over the many many others I've tried over the years) but one of the side effects is weight gain and craving for sweets! That was one of the reasons my insurance approved my surgeory. Try not to be a discouraged, you can overcome anything!

Hi Erin, Welcome! Most surgeons place bands with no fill. So you probably have no restriction. Try not to freak out about a weight gain during this time. My surgeon told me to expect it. It IS possible to lose, but if you do, it is not with any help from the band. It is from good old will power. As my hubby said to my surgeon, if I had will power, I'd not have needed a band. For now, concentrate on small bites and chewing well. You won't stretch your pouch, the food is going through, that is why you are hungry so quickly. As you get fills and restriction comes, the weight will come off.

Jodi, sorry you lost your posts.... would have been fun to hear every thing...... Glad to hear you are going to make Vegas.... It will be nice to meet Dassi, too.... Judy, you just put her out of your mind and listen to us.... You are beautiful.....just like Janet said..... Melissa, how are you???? You've not been posting much these days,.... Hope all is well... Joyce, good for you..... I love to go to water aerobics, but have no where to go now that I can't pull myself out of the pool.. I need a walk-out, like most motels have..... I miss that and am so glad you went and enjoyed it.... Lori, you are just a jet setter, aren't you......??? Good for you.... Sounds so exciting.... makes my life seem boring.... Well, I'm not sure who should be getting the kudos for 2nd bandiversary, but it isn't me..... Mine is in August.... about a month from now..... And I'm not happy about how I'm doing right now.... I'm gaining and I know it is mostly water weight gain from these dang pills.... I can feel myself bloating up..... I called the doctor to ask what I can do about it... I have other side effects, too....... Bad dreams..... I hardly ever dream otherwise and now it's most nights... Not nightmares, but weird dreams that make me feel odd the next day.. I'm jittery and my hands shake all the time and I have this horrid taste in my mouth all the time... I eat lots of popsicles to try to chew away the bad taste.... Sounds weird..... I hate the weight gain...... I know it's mostly medical, but it takes my mind back to other times when I failed and gained everything back.... Not good for the frame of mind..... On a positve note, the nurse called today to say that Mayo called and requested the actual discs of my MRI and x-rays... They only faxed the written reports.... So that means someone is paying attention to me and that I am worth checking the discs before they make a decison about seeing me.... I've got my fingers crossed that it means I'm going to get in...... Some one asked earlier a bout just calling for an appointment... Mayo clinic doesn't work like that.... They only take cases that cannot be helped my your local medical services or in specific extreme cases..... I have heard of people just going there and camping in their waiting room until someone sees them, but I'm not prepared to do that......YET!!!!! It seems like I had so much more to tell you all, but can't think of it right now.... DD called and said that lots of the kids at daycare had rashes and she didn't want Mimi there and could I come get her.... So, she is sitting in the chair watching Little Bear now.... We are doing "big girl panties" now so Grandma needs to pay attention.... I haven't done this in a long time and actually the sitter trained DD more than I did...... Oh, did want to tell you that DD and her family got a new puppy yesterday.... DF just had to have a dog... They had picked one out at the shelter and gone through all the things......3 visits, application, and etc..... but were turned down because the girls were too small and they didn't trust this 2 year old cocker with them.... So they went looking for giveaways and found a cute little beagle..... Vinny..... Now DD is potty training three babies!!!! OMG!!! Gotta run..... Hugs to all.... I just know I'm forgetting things I wanted to say..... But hopefully I'll remember soon... Julie

This morning has been an interesting one for me. I have talked on my blog about how emotional I am and how I have been working on keeping things in perspective. I think in day to day activity, I'm doing a good job, but I still have a way to go. Let me give you some history: I have been overweight all my life. I remember thinking I was fat as early as first and second grade. My nickmame in fourth grade was Buffalo Butt. Nice, huh? My first weightloss memory (real or manufactured...) was going to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom in fourth grade and weighing 144 lbs. I feel like I've been on a diet ever since. I love my mom. In fact, there is no one on earth I love more than I love my mom. My mom was always "normal" sized, but was almost consistently on a diet while I was growing up. My mom grew up in a household where her father expected perfection from her. She & Dad truly strived not to be that way with my brother and me. They just wanted what was best for us. They wanted me to be healthy and happy, so they helped me try and lose weight. They took me to Weight Watchers which helped when I was actually doing it. They took me to Nutri System in high school and after a week or two I was sneaking food on the side. They found out and were really mad at me. In retrospect, I understand that they spent a lot of money (that we didn't really have) to do this for me. At the time, I felt I let them down because I stayed fat. I was a food hoarder. I would eat normally in front of people then binge when I was by myself. I remember when I was young (maybe third grade?) I dipped a big tablespoon of peanut butter in sugar and started eating it. I knew it wasn't good for me, but it was tasty! I was in the living room and I heard my parents coming so I hid it under a piece of furniture. They found it and yelled at me. I feel quite sure that they were yelling at me because it is disgusting and gross to leave food around and it would attract mice and pests (which we had issues with anyway in our pre-1900 house.) I just heard them yelling at me becaue I was a disgusting fat pig. Every time my mom tells me I look thin or that I have lost weight, I soar! When my mom mentions that I look like I have gained weight (or she asks if I have gained weight), I get physically sick to my stomach. It has always been that way, but I'm just now starting to tell her when that happens. She thinks I'm being silly, and objectively, I probably am. I talk to my mom every morning during my commute. Every morning, I cheerfully tell her how much weight I have lost. I'm typically up a little on Mondays, but not much. Yesterday, I knew I was going to eat popcorn and I told my mom. She gets a little hitch in her voice when she says "okay" that makes me feel guilty. I was up today and I kid you not when I tell you I was in the shower this morning rehearsing what I was going to tell my mom. Sigh. I'm 36 and sometimes I'm 12. According to rehearsals, I was supposed to cheerily say that I was up a pound that I felt confident would be gone tomorrow. Instead, I told her that I don't share gains with her, only losses. She started laughing and said that I must have gained a lot because I tell her when it is a pound. (I want to step in a second and say that I truly do not believe that she was laughing AT me or trying to be insenstive. My mom loves me ridiculously so and would never intentionally hurt me under any circumstance.) My face and body started to get hot and I could feel myself tense up. I told her that it hurt me that she was laughing at my weight gain. She tried to explain that she laughs at herself all the time. I was so wrapped up in my anger that I almost hung up with her. Crazy! But I was able to change the subject and we moved on. When I got to work, my friend Liz approached me and said that she messed up. I had set up a birthday party for my friend Cori and had invited Liz, but not another work friend. Liz had mentioned the party to our other friend and other friend was hurt. To be truthful, it really wasn't something that was done intentionally. Neither Liz nor other friend has ever been invited to Cori's birthday party, but right at the time I was doing the invitation, I think Liz was on her mind so she said to invite her. It certainly wasn't an act of meaning to NOT invite other friend. In my mind, other friend is in a bad place right now and she is interpreting everyone's actions as something AGAINST her when in reality, that's not the case. I was actually that way last year, before I got my life on track. I realized that NOTHING anybody else said or did truly made a difference to me inside. If I loved myself, everything else would work itself out. That brings me back to my mom. I am so unbelievably fortunate to have my mom. I can't even list off all of the wonderful things she has done and continues to do for me. Nothing she does or says is meant to hurt me. If fact, I have no doubt that my mom would lay down her life for me. I have 35 years of demons to work through. I feel like I have gotten through a lot in 6 months, but it is still going to take some time to get through the rest. Occassionally, my feelings are going to get hurt through no fault of anyone's. But as long as I realize that I control the situation and it is I who decides my emotions, I will be able to move forward. I have have nightmares on occassion of a 5th grade me on a bus where kids are chanting BUFFALO BUTT! I have dreams all the time where people make comments that I'm fat. It is my achilles heel. But I'm doing something about it! At 60 pounds lost, which I should hit sometime this week, I will be halfway to my goal. Take that Amber Melvin from 4th grade! Take that mean, mean Debbie on the school bus! But most of all, TAKE THAT BETH! I am my own worst enemy, but this time is different. This time there is no self sabotage. This time there is no letting myself get caught up in the enormity (pardon the pun) of it all. This time, I'm not just losing weight...this time, I'm changing my life. Mom, I thank God for you and dad everyday. I love you.

We don't know how many of us sleevers will have regrets or need some revision in the long term. I mentioned my 3 close relatives with lapbands all of whom are doing great. We also know several people who have done just fine. In fact, we counted 9 people off the tops of our heads and I'm the only one with complications. And my complication (hiatal hernia) can come back with the sleeve. I just figured if I was going to have a hiatal hernia anyway, I might as well have it with a WLS that will (hopefully) allow me to lose weight rather than a band that can't be adjusted and weight gain. I guess what I'm saying is I don't have strong feelings about one over the other BUT I would not base my opinion of the Cathlic religion on a forum for "ex" Cathlics if I wanted to learn about it. I would probably give the "exes" a viewing but wouldn't consider that the experience of the majority. Though thousands of lives are saved by seatbelts every year, you will have people who are against wearing them because they think there are a few cases where someone was "killed because of the seatbelt." The sleeve may be the very best surgery for you and by all means ask people with bad experiences and good with various WLS. But in the end, it's your body and your life and you have to make a decision that you can live with. I feel like I'm a bit of a pioneer with this surgery. I don't know what the future holds 5 years out. I certainly hope it's all good.

http://arturorodriguezmd.com/lapband-erosion-clinical-radiological-and-endoscopic-correlation The above link has great info on erosions. Main symptoms are loss of restriction and weight gain. Also you can get port-site infection.

acutally I am looking forward to getting stuck! The band is a tool.....tool that if you eat too much or the wrong kind of food has a consequence. That consequence is getting stuck or vomitting. I need a negative consequence like that. Obviously the consequence of weight gain when I eat certain foods is not enough. So although I do not aim for always getting stuck 'I do aim to feel something. You have to see if from my point of view. I had this surgery, put this foreign object in my body, paid this money, and I feel nothing. It was like I never had it. That is alot to go through for nothing. So I am ready to feel the stuck feeling. At least I know it is in there and I will have a consequence for my action if it hurts that much. I am not saying that it will solve or speed up my weight loss but let's call a spade a spade. I am feelling no restriction what so ever right now. Although I am sticking to no bread, no rice, no Pasta, no soda... I know myself...that will get old. If I could keep doing it I would not have needed the band in the first place. So down the road, when I am craving that bread, and I actually eat it, and it gets stuck and feels horrible...guess what I will think twice about eating the bread. It is the same principle for having an alcoholic take antabuse. You take it, you drink, you vomit. Now obviously the person taking it does not think...man I can not wait to take the medication, drink, and vomit. But obsiously they needed more consequences for their drinking than what they were experiencing. And just like anything I know there is a way around the band. I am not looking for it. I hope that clarified everything for you.

How much is Dr CDB charging at the moment? And what is the package you have all had? I have made enquiries with Frederik and I am waiting to hear back. I am thinking of doing this to nip my weight gain in the bud so i don't drop dead from heart disease like other females in my family. Also, my mum's diagnosis of ovarian cancer was delayed by months due to her weight. I don't want to take any chances so I want to get a grip on my weight. 14st may not sound a lot but its all relative and I know 14st is not where I am likely to end up. I have generations of female fatties before me.

Thanks for the good wishes, Pricipal Shad! Wow, got on the scale this morning...up 5 lbs!!!! :scared2::cursing: Yikes!!! Yes, definitely time for a fill. Of course, I go looking at LAP-BAND sites and read that erosion's biggiest symptoms are increased appetite and weight gain, and happens after the 2 year mark. GREAT. Just had to scare myself. I have identified one contributing behavioral problem, that will now be corrected. I have been enjoying some Mike's Hard Lemonade lately...yummy, it's summer!! :smile: Looed them up online, EACH contains 220 calories! :tt2: Holy Moly!! They will be moved to the 'rarely enjoyed' list. Being as they are not really on my surgeon's list of approved items, that is probably a good idea. Anyway, otherwise, life is good!

The "advice" 3 dieting attemps ago was NEVER lacking in my case, LOL. We low carbed for 2 years at one point. (Hubby lost 100, I lost 50). Mind you most people can't get through their heads that there's a difference between LOW carb and NO carb. Even sitting across from you watching you eat salad, cooked veggies, and berries they are lecturing about the dangers. The minute we'd pass on white bread all the other stuff became invisible. Although my meat portion was no bigger than theirs the fact that I chose green Beans over baked potato meant my meat was going to destroy my kidneys. HUH? It was almost comical. Then many of the same people reminded me of how successful we were at low carbing when (after regaining what we lost and more) we decided on WLS and thought we should do that instead of surgery. ANd there were people who thought hubby should have WLS and praised his success then 2 1/2 years later made it clear that I should "consider" diet and exercise first. I really think that people (and we all do it in different ways) find giving advice and/or back-handed compliments to be a way of showing interest and care. It makes life less frustrating if I think of it that way. LOL I recently called a beloved niece who’s had RNY and has gained some weight back to tell her about the “band over bypass” surgery. I tried to think of how to bring it up so she’d have the information without coming off sounding like, “hey I’ve noticed you’ve gained a bit of weight too.” Know what? There is really no way to say it without that coming across. But I love this niece heavy or thin. AND she DOES have a pretty face heavy or thin. (I didn’t say that of course.) But knowing how much she’d gone through and how much WLS has changed her life I wanted to share that her weight gain isn’t because she failed to do what she should (as most people assume) but because the surgery had failed her (5 yrs out). I could tell that even though she still loves me and we are still close, she didn’t love that I mentioned it. She had previously mentioned her weight gain and what she’s trying to do to reverse it before I called with my golden information. Some areas are just touchy no matter how well meaning and encouraging we think we are being. Of course I also knew she was noticing MY weight gain due to having my band unfilled. But she didn’t call me to tell me to try RNY or sleeve. LOL Ironically just last night I was telling another RNY person the same (band over bypass) information and SHE was excited and is going to look into it. This whole conversation wasn’t initiated by me directly making a phone call. Maybe that made the difference? Maybe the relationship? Who knows. But I’ve obviously been on both sides of this fence. So since my comments are out of genuine love and concern, I have to assume other people's are too. :thumbup:

If you have PCOS and most of your weight gain is from that then you may not need a band if you find a good PCOS Doc who will give you the metformin and hormone treatment you need. You do need to eat a Low GI diet though...that is an absolute must!! High quality, slow release carbs will stabilise your blood sugar and help you. I lost 20 kg with Metformin and hormone treatment and walking the dog. No band involved....then unfortunately my thyroid packed up and I put on 30kg in 12 months. That's when I gave in and had my lovely band. I was diagnosed PCOS at 42 and you are 11 years younger than me...I also had my first child at 32 so you have 12 months on me there too....Low GI...give it your best shot...it really is worth it. Oh and don't forget to push for that metformin...essential.

So since I'm not eating as much... I've figured I better put my mouth to use in other ways. I've started singing again... (Uh huh what were you thinking?!???! lol) Something I've ALWAYS loved to do and have done forever.. I stopped singing right around 21 and now 12 yrs later, a lot of weight gain and more importantly loss later here I am. There's truth to the saying "If you don't use it, you lose it" though.. but here I am just singing away trying to get some of it back. It's been interesting.. I joined an online karaoke site and it's the most hysterical thing, you can be TERRIBLE and people will give you 5 stars, right now I have a couple of songs in the site's "Top recordings" trust me when I tell you they're not good but hey I'll take the ego boost. Anyways just one of my new hobbies I've picked up now that I'm feeling great about myself.. what interesting thing have you done or gotten back into since surgery?

I don't know why they told you to stay away from the Protein shakes, but I could guess on a couple reasons. Most of them are loaded with artificial sweetners. A recent article in Consumer Reports suggested that many of them are contaminated with heavy metals that are toxic as well. I did not want to lose weight too quickly after surgery (primarily because I think you lose a lot of muscle mass and less fat if you lose too quickly), and my doctor told me I could drink Ensure. Ask your doctor about the liquid meal supplements like Ensure and Boost (puddings as well) that are higher in carbs/calories and that are designed to promote weight gain or provide adequate nutrition to people who are having problems eating. My guess is that those would help you get in enough extra calories and carbs to slow your weight loss. Also, plan for foods that are calorie dense. Those will usually be higher fat foods like Tiffy mentioned Peanut Butter and cheese.

Thanks to all of you for the support! I'd love to be starting over buddies! The circumstances were: I had a slip 5 1/2 months out...from being too tight and getting some Ibuprofen caplets stuck. I vomited about 5 times in a 2 day period and that was enough to slip my band (although they told me it typically takes WEEKS of violent vomiting to slip a band..... that is not so!!! It can happen very easily - I'm the proof!) I then had a revision surgery and I did ok for a while, but around November of last year I started having acid reflux, coughing all night, having to sleep in the recliner, being able to eat too much, weight gain, etc. My Dr. ordered an upper GI and it was discovered that I was (again) too tight. This time, instead of feeling uncomfortable or feeling like vomiting after eating too much, the food was not passing through my band at all and was accumulating in my pouch and in my esophagus, causing my esophagus to stretch out to three times it's normal size. I could not figure out why I was able to eat normal sized portions and why I was gaining weight. I could not tell that the food was not going through. It felt normal the whole time, except for the terrible heartburn anytime I layed down. I kept going in for fills telling them I needed to be tighter (hence, making the problem worse). Also, I was drinking a lot of diet pop, which my Dr. allows (I know some Dr's say don't drink it, but mine always said he didn't think it mattered). The treatment for a distended esophagus is a complete unfill for several months to allow the esophagus to return to normal size. That meant even more weight gain. If I was able to control what I eat, I wouldn't have needed a LAP-BAND®, right?! LOL I went for my first fill yesterday and have already lost 2 pounds!! I just didn't know all these things could happen. I am a Registered Nurse who researched the LAP-BAND® for nearly a year prior to having it done! I considered myself to be the most likely person to succeed, with all the knowlege I thought I had. I see people on here with the exact same problems I have faced. I joined this site right after my initial surgery, but for some reason I never got on here. I think I was scared...I didn't want to hear about complications because I wasn't planning on having any! As I said before, I think a lot of my problems could have been avoided if I had learned from others ahead of time. Let's all keep in touch!

Hi there. I hope you had a nice holiday! Don't beat yourself up about the weight gain, as you said it would've been far more without the band!! At least when you have another fill it will get you back on the straight and narrow. Ur weight loss so far is great! I think we were banded about the same time.

It is so interesting to me you mention this. I went from losing over 100 Lbs just recently, and the difference in the way I'm treated by unfamiliar people and those I'm around frequently was quite drastic. People tended to want to talk to me more, be more polite. Most especially men. They would be much more galant and go out of their way to talk to me. However I have recently gone through a bit of a weight gain. It wasn't nearly as much as I'd lost but it was enough to be more than noticable. Turns out all the light are out in my world again, because like before I'm ignored and nothing I do or say holds any credence anywhere. It sucks, but unfortunately it is a cold hard fact. Glad I'm addressing my issue! I liked being noticed and taken seriously! :sad:

yes unfortunelty once you have the band removed or deflated weight gain in inevitable, but what is more important is to make sure that area is ready to receive the sleeve, in the 15 months I have had problems i have gained 60 lbs, i no longer know who is in the mirror (have gone from a size 0/2 to a 14) so i understand about the weight gain. it would be great to have done it all in one, but for some (and all who have an eroded band) that can not be done at once, and actually the surgeon does not know till they are in there.....great success for all with everything they pic....

Currently: I am a 43 yr old woman. Mother of 1. Married for almost 10 years. I am 5' 5" & 242 pounds. From southern TN area. Past: Extremely thin all my life until around 19. Before that, I was the girl in H.S. that everyone said they were jealous of because I was soooo thin. 100-105 lbs. in H.S. Reason(s) for weight gain: All sorts of things. Bad things in my life, not exercising anymore, got a car so I didn't have to walk everywhere, got married/divorced, parents died...etc.,etc.,etc. But --- the REAL reason was because I ate. Period. MY FAULT. I own it. Surgery of choice: The Sleeve. I have a few friends who have had The Band with little results. The friends I have that have had the Bypass - well, they have all been sick since. So, I chose The Sleeve due to those reasons, along with the fact that it's the 'best' choice for me and it's the 'medium' surgery on the scale of WLS's. I've done loads and loads of research. Timeline: Time from calling for 1st weight loss seminar to the date of surgery - 34 days. Yes, very quick. Why? ....'cause I'm Self-Pay. Insurance doesn't cover ANY WLS's. Surgery is the 19th of this month. Just a few days away. I've been thinking about this for a long time though. Finances: I'm self-pay. I've read that many people ask how they have come up with the $. Well, my house is paid off...so I just went and got a Home Equity Loan and will pay it off in a few years (or sooner if my timeshare at Disney will sell!!!) My family: Supportive, but nervous. Husband is glad I'll be happy, but loves me the way I am. Son (9) is worried I'll look a lot different. Both are somewhat nervous that I'll stop cooking the 'good food'. My brother (and the only sibling I've told...and basically, the only sibling I'm close with) doesn't want me to get it. He says he loves me the way I am and wants me to feel better about myself. I told him it had nothing to do with that. He'd never understand though. He's 40 and has a 29 inch waist with a six-pack. Yes,....a six-pack and he NEVER works out. I know...it's crazy. So, overall.....support is there. All 3 men in my life will be there for surgery. Friends: The ones I've told are very supportive. Pre-Op plan: Magnesium Citrate 1 day prior. liquid Diet 1 day prior. Health Issues I have: none My reasons for wanting surgery: Other than the obvious reasons, ....I'm sure all of you can relate to my reasons. I want to feel good. I've been overweight for 20 years. It's time. I may be healthy now, but I will not be healthy for much longer if I stay this size. My fears: I'm not scared of the surgery. I'm not scared of the pain. I'm scared that I will hate eating since I've heard so much about the hard-to-swallow issue. For some reason -- that is my biggest fear. The fact that I will hate to eat. Also, I don't want to stop cooking for my family. I'll cook healthier...but I don't want MY plans to affect them too much. My schedule for surgery: Show up at 6am, surgery at 8am. In on Monday....and out on Wednesday. Preparation: I've bought EVERYTHING needed. Got all my RX's. food. I know the hospital I go through individualizes the plans and I told them that I would not do the Protein shakes. I KNOW I wouldn't keep them down. It would be of no use. So, we will be doing the bullets, and Isopure for the liquid phase. Isopure/bullets/non-flavored protein to put on mushy food for the other phases. Then, when I can eat...the protein will be taken care of. But I know me....and I'll eat loads of protein. So....that is me. I'm excited. I'm scared. I am prepared to run through every emotion possible (anger at myself, regret, guilt, happiness, relief, etc etc). My finances are in order. I have an Advanced Directive (already had one). House is spotless so I don't have to worry about it. Yard will be mowed 2 days before surgery.he he. Prepared my family. Told some friends. Researched and researched more. I'm new to this forum. Only been on about a week. So far, I've learned so much. I know I will rely on you guys a lot during my journey. Then, I hope to 'pass it on' to other newbies. Thank you for reading this. And I hope this helps you understand me a little better. I am soooooooooooooooo excited. I've been smiling the entire time I was reading this!!!!!:biggrin0::thumbup::thumbup1:

I got released at 3:30 yesterday and you are right-the ride home was pretty hard. My belly doesn't hurt too much now and I'm starting to figure out what I can drink. I was glad to see in your blog that you had a weight gain also(not in a WEIGHT GAIN way!) because I was pretty concerned when I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered that I had gained 2 lbs. How is that possible??? I didn't have any food for over 2 days and I gain weight? It must be all of the IV's and anethesia. Good luck to all of you-this is a whole new uncharted territory for us.

Hi Ninababy. I have a band, PCOS and stuffed up thyroid but good restriction and have lost 43Kg/95lbs since Aug 09...I think it took me 3 or 4 months to learn to live with my band and get my restriction right. Give it time and please be assured that slow weight loss is better than slow weight gain...all steps in the right direction will lead you to your destination. Stick with it girl :-)

I LOVE your motivation! You keep me smiling:) This lap band has really changed me too. I feel great, full of energy and I love how I can actually feel fullness. I honestly can't remember feeling full before this band...thus the weight gain. I can't wait to hear your success stories and now especially about when you hit the 30 pount mark. That will be such a huge milestone for you! You are doing great and thanks for always being so positive. {{{Hugs}}}

Found this in my email from some site I am signed up to.. how smart women lose weight Sure it’s important to have a healthy diet plan to lose weight, but if that isn’t enough, then consider this strategic plan used by smart women. The first time Jenn set out to lose those 20 pounds, she gave up sugared sodas. The second time, she ate only protein. She fasted, overdosed on raw carrots and counted fat grams. All of the diet tips and healthy weight loss plans she tried worked, but only for a while. Sheer force of will didn't keep her from chowing down when the impulse struck; nor did it get her into the gym. Not until Jenn approached her excess weight the way a new CEO might a faltering business did her 20 extra pounds disappear for good. Here’s the problem-solving approach that Jenn used to successfully supplement her healthy diet plan. The technique Jenn used is a systematic problem-solving approach developed more than 50 years ago to improve industrial production. Called "quality improvement" or "systems thinking," it means you: look at your problem as part of a larger system find things that contribute to the problem experiment by changing the system in some small way After you've seen the result of your change, you alter the system again to incorporate the new change, then look for other causes of the problem. Then you experiment with the other solutions until the problem is solved. If your problem is too much weight, you can use this method to change the behaviors causing it. Farrokh Alemi, Ph.D., associate professor of health-care management at George Mason University School of Nursing in McLean, Va. and his colleagues have tested what they call continuous self-improvement on 400 people seeking personal change, including healthy weight loss and exercising more. Not only has it been successful in changing daily habits, the changes have been long lasting. Here's how it could work for you. Step 1: Look at the big picture Shift from seeing your weight problem in personal terms and instead see it as part of a larger system that includes your family needs, social life, work hours and whatever else affects your exercise and eating habits, including any ethnic-food preferences and peer pressures. Once you discover how many outside factors affect your healthy diet plan and exercise, you'll realize that losing weight with willpower alone is almost impossible. "Using willpower for self-improvement is like applying brute force," Alemi says. "Using a systems approach is applying intelligence." Step 2: Define the problem Before coming up with solutions, you need to identify the real problem, says Linda Norman, M.S.N., R.N., associate dean at the School of Nursing at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., and one of Alemi's research colleagues. Say your favorite jeans are too tight. Instead of telling yourself you need to lose weight, Norman suggests you ask yourself a series of questions, such as "What's associated with the weight gain that's made my jeans tight?" (maybe the underlying problem is boredom at work or the pain of a bad relationship) and "What's contributing to my weight gain?" (maybe you don't make time for exercise, or you eat in response to stress and need to learn other stress-management techniques so you can successfully follow a healthy diet plan). "The more questions you ask," Norman says, "the closer you'll get to the root of the problem." "It also helps to 'frame' the problem positively," Alemi adds. "For example, you might look at weight gain as an opportunity to get fit." Finally, it's important to define the problem in a way that lets you monitor your progress and measure the outcome by how well you're dealing with the triggers that cause weight gain. Step 3: Brainstorm solutions Clearly defining the problem that is preventing you from achieving healthy weight loss will lead you to the solution. If you've stated the problem vaguely -- "I have to eat less" -- you've biased yourself toward dieting as a solution. But if you're specific -- "I need to change jobs or reduce my stress to protect my health" -- you'll probably think of several good answers to your problem, such as seeing a career counselor or starting a new exercise program. Write down every solution that comes to mind, then arrange the list according to priority, starting with the ones that contribute most to the problem or will have the greatest impact on the outcome. Step 4: Monitor your progress Make the first item on your list your first experiment. "Say the problem is that you're sedentary, and your first solution is to work out with a friend after work," says Duncan Neuhauser, Ph.D., a professor of health management at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland and another of Alemi's research colleagues. "You might experiment with using your noon hour to make exercise 'dates.' " After a few weeks, add up the number of times you exercised. If your first solution didn't work, try an evening exercise class or find a park where people walk or run after work. Win or lose, keep notes. "Measure your progress every day," Neuhauser says, "and put the results in chart or graph form. Visual aids are helpful." The data you gather will also make you aware of your normal variations. You may be more active on certain days of your menstrual cycle, for example, or you may always gain 2 pounds when you spend weekends with certain friends. "The data gathering is not just about keeping track of your weight," Norman says. "It's about tracking the process that affects your weight." Step 5: Identify barriers "There are going to be crises, external influences, times you have to eat Grandma's cookies," Neuhauser says. You'll have days when you can't exercise and days when you'll be tempted by holiday meals, and because you're tracking your progress, you'll be able to detect which events actually cause weight gain. "Overwhelming evidence from many areas, including substance-abuse research, shows that situations trigger relapses," Alemi says. "You need to find out which situations make you return to old habits." Once you're aware that working late makes you too tired to exercise, for example, you can test strategies for leaving work on time. If you blow your balanced healthy diet because you dine out with friends who always order too much, try hosting takeout at your house and make sure you order healthy foods. Step 6: Build a support team Some people lose weight with the help of a diet buddy, but for the best chance of success, you need the support of people whose decisions will affect your efforts. "When you make systemwide changes, your actions affect many people," Alemi says. "If you plan to lose weight by changing your food-shopping, cooking habits and strategy for a balanced healthy diet, then everyone at home will be affected. You're better off to engage them from the start." Start by educating these friends and family members about weight loss in general (including what lifestyle changes are necessary) and your goals in particular with regard to a healthy weight loss, then involve them in your daily experiments. "The whole group needs to agree to rely on the data," Alemie says. As results of your changes come in, including new, healthier habits, share them with the group. After all, when you finally do solve your weight problem, these people are the ones who will help you celebrate your success. They may even thank you for helping them, too.

Found this in my email from some site I am signed up to.. how smart women lose weight Sure it’s important to have a healthy diet plan to lose weight, but if that isn’t enough, then consider this strategic plan used by smart women. The first time Jenn set out to lose those 20 pounds, she gave up sugared sodas. The second time, she ate only protein. She fasted, overdosed on raw carrots and counted fat grams. All of the diet tips and healthy weight loss plans she tried worked, but only for a while. Sheer force of will didn't keep her from chowing down when the impulse struck; nor did it get her into the gym. Not until Jenn approached her excess weight the way a new CEO might a faltering business did her 20 extra pounds disappear for good. Here’s the problem-solving approach that Jenn used to successfully supplement her healthy diet plan. The technique Jenn used is a systematic problem-solving approach developed more than 50 years ago to improve industrial production. Called "quality improvement" or "systems thinking," it means you: look at your problem as part of a larger system find things that contribute to the problem experiment by changing the system in some small way After you've seen the result of your change, you alter the system again to incorporate the new change, then look for other causes of the problem. Then you experiment with the other solutions until the problem is solved. If your problem is too much weight, you can use this method to change the behaviors causing it. Farrokh Alemi, Ph.D., associate professor of health-care management at George Mason University School of Nursing in McLean, Va. and his colleagues have tested what they call continuous self-improvement on 400 people seeking personal change, including healthy weight loss and exercising more. Not only has it been successful in changing daily habits, the changes have been long lasting. Here's how it could work for you. Step 1: Look at the big picture Shift from seeing your weight problem in personal terms and instead see it as part of a larger system that includes your family needs, social life, work hours and whatever else affects your exercise and eating habits, including any ethnic-food preferences and peer pressures. Once you discover how many outside factors affect your healthy diet plan and exercise, you'll realize that losing weight with willpower alone is almost impossible. "Using willpower for self-improvement is like applying brute force," Alemi says. "Using a systems approach is applying intelligence." Step 2: Define the problem Before coming up with solutions, you need to identify the real problem, says Linda Norman, M.S.N., R.N., associate dean at the School of Nursing at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., and one of Alemi's research colleagues. Say your favorite jeans are too tight. Instead of telling yourself you need to lose weight, Norman suggests you ask yourself a series of questions, such as "What's associated with the weight gain that's made my jeans tight?" (maybe the underlying problem is boredom at work or the pain of a bad relationship) and "What's contributing to my weight gain?" (maybe you don't make time for exercise, or you eat in response to stress and need to learn other stress-management techniques so you can successfully follow a healthy diet plan). "The more questions you ask," Norman says, "the closer you'll get to the root of the problem." "It also helps to 'frame' the problem positively," Alemi adds. "For example, you might look at weight gain as an opportunity to get fit." Finally, it's important to define the problem in a way that lets you monitor your progress and measure the outcome by how well you're dealing with the triggers that cause weight gain. Step 3: Brainstorm solutions Clearly defining the problem that is preventing you from achieving healthy weight loss will lead you to the solution. If you've stated the problem vaguely -- "I have to eat less" -- you've biased yourself toward dieting as a solution. But if you're specific -- "I need to change jobs or reduce my stress to protect my health" -- you'll probably think of several good answers to your problem, such as seeing a career counselor or starting a new exercise program. Write down every solution that comes to mind, then arrange the list according to priority, starting with the ones that contribute most to the problem or will have the greatest impact on the outcome. Step 4: Monitor your progress Make the first item on your list your first experiment. "Say the problem is that you're sedentary, and your first solution is to work out with a friend after work," says Duncan Neuhauser, Ph.D., a professor of health management at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland and another of Alemi's research colleagues. "You might experiment with using your noon hour to make exercise 'dates.' " After a few weeks, add up the number of times you exercised. If your first solution didn't work, try an evening exercise class or find a park where people walk or run after work. Win or lose, keep notes. "Measure your progress every day," Neuhauser says, "and put the results in chart or graph form. Visual aids are helpful." The data you gather will also make you aware of your normal variations. You may be more active on certain days of your menstrual cycle, for example, or you may always gain 2 pounds when you spend weekends with certain friends. "The data gathering is not just about keeping track of your weight," Norman says. "It's about tracking the process that affects your weight." Step 5: Identify barriers "There are going to be crises, external influences, times you have to eat Grandma's cookies," Neuhauser says. You'll have days when you can't exercise and days when you'll be tempted by holiday meals, and because you're tracking your progress, you'll be able to detect which events actually cause weight gain. "Overwhelming evidence from many areas, including substance-abuse research, shows that situations trigger relapses," Alemi says. "You need to find out which situations make you return to old habits." Once you're aware that working late makes you too tired to exercise, for example, you can test strategies for leaving work on time. If you blow your balanced healthy diet because you dine out with friends who always order too much, try hosting takeout at your house and make sure you order healthy foods. Step 6: Build a support team Some people lose weight with the help of a diet buddy, but for the best chance of success, you need the support of people whose decisions will affect your efforts. "When you make systemwide changes, your actions affect many people," Alemi says. "If you plan to lose weight by changing your food-shopping, cooking habits and strategy for a balanced healthy diet, then everyone at home will be affected. You're better off to engage them from the start." Start by educating these friends and family members about weight loss in general (including what lifestyle changes are necessary) and your goals in particular with regard to a healthy weight loss, then involve them in your daily experiments. "The whole group needs to agree to rely on the data," Alemie says. As results of your changes come in, including new, healthier habits, share them with the group. After all, when you finally do solve your weight problem, these people are the ones who will help you celebrate your success. They may even thank you for helping them, too.