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First of all, take a deep breath. This is incredibly hard work and you are doing a great job. Statistically speaking, people who are obese and have been for a significant period of time, only have about a 5% success rate of losing the weight and keeping it off long term. The reality is, obesity is an incredibly hard thing to overcome, and for most of us, surgery is the tool we need to succeed. That, in addition to counseling to heal my relationship with food and my body, has been absolutely life changing. It sounds like you have done your homework about medications, surgery, and other treatments. You've come to a soundly investigated decision based on what is best for YOU. You are doing the mental and emotional work to set yourself up for long term success and wellbeing. As for those around you who are naysayers - they do not live in your mind or body and have no right to opine on either. Frankly, folks who have never lived through a life of obesity and disordered eating simply cannot understand it or truly empathize. My husband is the MOST supportive human on the planet and has been my biggest cheerleader through every diet, exercise program, and finally surgery. Truly, he is a gift to me. BUT, he is rail thin and always has been. He openly acknowledges that he cannot understand a life with obesity and because he can't, he has trusted me to make the right decisions for myself and supports me unconditionally without reservation or opinion. If the people in your life cannot see their own bias and acknowledge that they cannot support you without their own opinions clouding things, then maybe they should not be allowed the space to speak into your life. You can love them, but they don't deserve the right to give you their opinions. Only you can decide what is right for you and it sounds like you already have. Trust that. You got this.

Other people, although well intentioned, will never have to live in your body or mind. If your medical doctor came around to the idea of surgery for your improved health, that should carry some weight. Also if insurance approved the procedure, that means at least one other medical professional believes it is now medically appropriate/necessary for you to have Bariatric surgery. As always you get to chose, free from shame or ridicule, what to do with your body.

your body, not theirs. Quit listening to the naysayers. for most of us, bariatric surgery was the only thing that helped us get the weight off and keep it off. At almost 400 lbs, I would have been lucky to have seen my 60th birthday. Now I'm past 60 and feeling better than I've felt in years. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. P.S. these "naysayers" are not medical professionals, and they're not experts on bariatric surgery. Again, smile, nod, and let their opinions go in one ear and out the other.

Thank u for the information. 10 years ago I lost 110 pounds so I truly know what I have to do about my eating. But you right I gotta take this as a tool and start anew. With a new stomach and losing the weight I need to and eating right and go on the right path. I do truly hope for the best.

The referral is the start of a process where you have time to figure out if it is the right thing for you. You will have to have a psychological evaluation, medical screenings etc. You will do a lot of soul searching during this time. Your seem convinced that you have done all your can with conventional methods and they have not worked for you. This is the point where most of us have had the same thoughts and have pursued the surgical route. You have to be ready to make sacrifices and to give up some of the habits you have fallen into previously. If you don't make those changes, you will not sustain the weight loss. The surgery gives you a tool in the short term to give you physical restrictions to over eating. During this time where your restriction is working for you, you need to develop good eating habits. If you do this, you will be successful. Some continue to have restrictions to eating others do not get the same restriction which again, the surgery is a tool to get you in the right mindset to make permanent changes to your habits and eating problem.

Well in off for my pre-op testing today for surgery on Monday afternoon. This has been a long journey for me so far (since I started this before COVID), but I'm really excited for the new me to finally come out from behind the fat me. Honestly, with the amount of weight my doctor is telling me I should lose, I will be back down to a weight I haven't seen since my freshman year in HS! I think that amount of weight will make me too small but I'm gonna go for it anyway and see what happens. With that being said, I will be starting at 250 pounds and should be down to 130 pounds (according to my team) by this time next year. Will let everyone know how I feel on Monday evening after surgery. Good luck to all my June buddies! Sent from my SM-G981V using BariatricPal mobile app

Hey all! Woah, I didn’t mean to make this so long, but I’m a rambler. This is my first post and I'm not sure if it belongs here, but it’s going here lol. I’ve been battling depression and obesity since I was a child. I hit 200lbs when I was 12, and although I was an active dancer in highschool and walked so so so much (my friends and I were mallrats with no cars) and saw a nutritionist in my junior and senior year, I was probably around 215 when I graduated. For a 5’2”, 17 year old girl, that was already morbidly obese and it just went up from there. I was definitely in survival mode for the next few years, on a few antidepressants, working and going to school, just trying to live. The earliest data I have from my FitBit and MyFitnessPal has be at 275lb in 2016, and I know I went up to the 290s in 2017, because 2017 is a blank on my trackers, and knowing me, I was too ashamed to record it. The next I have is 273 in 2018. I went off my antidepressants around the end of 2017, and while I was mentally “white-knuckling” it, I started losing weight. But it was very much a lose 10lbs, gain 15-20 cycle. Then my birth control made it worse. At the beginning of this year, I was stuck in a plateau of 231, and I talked to my doctor about my disordered eating, and she got me a therapist and I got myself a personal trainer. At that doctors appt, I almost asked for a referral for surgery, but chickened out and asked for a therapist and a nutritionist instead. Love my therapist, but the nutritionist wanted me on a 1200 cal diet that didn't mesh with disordered eating at all. An important note here, is that my mother, who has passed, had the RYGB circa 2002. So surgery has always been in the back of my mind. After a series of unfortunate events in March, I lost 10lbs rapidly and realized my bmi (40) was at the cut off for surgery with no comorbidities. At the beginning of April I asked my doctor for a surgery referral. She offered me Wegovy or Saxenda, but I really can’t see myself using injectables for the rest of my life, so she went ahead with the referral. Had the first consultation a little over a week later, did a few zoom classes, completed forms, did the psych eval (actually awful), and today I got an email saying my insurance approved me and my program would contact me soon for a date. My reasoning is that I see my trainer twice a week and my therapist and I are working on my relationship with food, but I’m getting older and I have that historic lose/gain cycle, and my weight has been a source of unhappiness literally my entire life. Surgery isn’t going to fix everything, I know that, I’ve talked to my therapist about that, but she and I agree this would be a great tool for me in conjunction with the other changes I’m making. My trainer, who is a family friend, doesn’t like the idea. But she’s only known me as an adult, she doesn’t see that a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and trying to stay active isn’t cutting it when I’m still carrying an extra 100lbs. A close member of my family wants me to do keto again, because that was my biggest diet win, but that also didn’t mesh with my disordered eating in the long run. Since my consult, I’ve lost about another 6lbs, firmly putting me where I was when I was a teenager, which is a surreal feeling, but it’s being used as proof that I can “do it on my own.” Honestly, my mindset is that I’m eating less in preparation for surgery. There’s been memes shared on instagram stories of people who I know must know I want to get wls done, calling the surgery “body mutilation” and how “surgeons regret performing bariatric surgeries because it's unnatural.” It makes me doubt myself, like is this just my depression wanting to “mutilate” myself, or is this me trying to overcome my depression and finally do something for myself? What was it for my mother? I was too young to ask her these questions and now I can't. This is a very long post to ask; I’m doing the right thing, right? Am I being rational and making sense? I know I can lose the weight, but keeping it off is constantly clawing and if I slip now just a little, the lose/gain cycle could catch up, and I'm so tired of it.

What if I can't lose weight before the surgery? To lose 10% of my weight, I need to shed 25 lbs. That's a lot and could take 6 months. Has that happened to anyone?

Thanks for indulging my curiosity. To [hopefully] clarify the conversation, black are my original questions, red are your replies, purple my feedback. Just to ensure everyone is on the same page, Dumping Syndrome is typically related to consuming sugars and/or fats, as has been previously mentioned. Dumping on other foods is exceptionally unusual. How often do you dump? If it's responsible for the majority of your weight loss as you claim then you would be dumping pretty frequently. If it is actually dumping you wouldn't likely be dumping enough to impact weight loss. So I never said I was losing weight because of this. I think I lost weight just from keeping on the proper plan initially. I would say I get sick at almost every meal, regardless of the ingredients, but it's severe with anything carb or sugar-related. Sorry about my misunderstanding. I inadvertently connected two unrelated thoughts. I apologize. The fact you get sick at almost every meal would tell me you aren't generally dumping. It's not to say that you are never dumping, just that it is not generally what is going on. What actual foods cause you to dump? Pretty much everything but it's particularly horrible with carbs, sugar, and greasy/deep-fried foods. Again, "Pretty much everything" would indicate that much/most(?) of what you are experiencing is not dumping. Dumping is in response to specific foods rather than most foods. In what quantities? I don't measure anymore but it doesn't take much. A few bites will do it, or even a small square of something sugary. I understand that you don't measure, neither do I. "A few bites" does answer the question, though. A 1.5" x 1.5" square of fudge or comparable sugar dense candy can easily make me dump. How soon after you eat do your symptoms appear? Within 10-15 minutes. What are the symptoms? It feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest, feel dizzy, head pressure, brain-fog, and overall sense of anxiety. I also get reactive-hypoglycemia...but not true hypoglycemia. My body just responds very poorly to blood sugar drops because they happen so fast, but rarely have I been in hypo numbers. These comments add I think what are the more important pieces of information. If this were dumping, you could simply reduce the sugars or fats that might be causing distress. But when it's almost everything, frequently, then it doesn't sound like just or even mostly dumping, if it's dumping at all. If you are, in fact, over consuming sugars and/or fats over frequently then your initial steps would be clear: stop doing that and see if this fixes your issue(s) in short order. If you've tried yet continue over consuming sugars and/or fats frequently and unable to stop yourself then were I in your shoes I'd get myself to a therapist post haste. [ETA: I have not gotten the impression you are out of control in this way. Quite the contrary.] This is not a diet or nutrition issue in my opinion. It's not that you're not working to eat the correct foods, it's that eating any foods too often cause physical distress. Were this me, I would have long ago become a squeaky wheel. I would be camping in my surgeon's or PCP's offices until I got a resolution, or at least significant progress, in fixing whatever is going on. I would not be put off. Bottom line: Get your medical team to work helping you. Be your own advocate. Good luck, Tek

Hi there, thanks for responding. Here are answers: How often do you dump? If it's responsible for the majority of your weight loss as you claim then you would be dumping pretty frequently. If it is actually dumping you wouldn't likely be dumping enough to impact weight loss. So I never said I was losing weight because of this. I think I lost weight just from keeping on the proper plan initially. I would say I get sick at almost every meal, regardless of the ingredients, but it's severe with anything carb or sugar-related. What actual foods cause you to dump? Pretty much everything but it's particularly horrible with carbs, sugar, and greasy/deep-fried foods. In what quantities? I don't measure anymore but it doesn't take much. A few bites will do it, or even a small square of something sugary. How soon after you eat do your symptoms appear? Within 10-15 minutes. What are the symptoms? It feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest, feel dizzy, head pressure, brain-fog, and overall sense of anxiety. I also get reactive-hypoglycemia...but not true hypoglycemia. My body just responds very poorly to blood sugar drops because they happen so fast, but rarely have I been in hypo numbers.

@LilaNicole20 Thanks for the additional info! i read that the gas pain can be rough at first but that once that passes, normally, it's not too bad. Glad to hear yours is going well and best of luck with the summer!! @redhead_che Thanks, that's good to know. I'm set to have my initial zoom learning session on 7/6. I'm excited to learn more and meet the surgeon and see if it's something I want to move forward with. My SO is also going to join and listen for support. I figure regardless of what I decide if I move forward, I plan to be at home for some time and thankfully, I can have time saved by then or wfh if needed if I'm feeling well enough. @blackcatsandbaddecisions Thanks! Didn't know some insurances wrote that in, I'll need to check mine to see if there are any exclusions for it in my current insurance. I found out that my insurance is accepted where I'm considering the surgery, but not sure if they'd block this specific thing. I thought a lot about the extra skin and honestly, I'm not bothered by it and think the health benefits far outweigh extra skin. It's always something I can save for in the future if needed, but to be healthy and comfortable is where I'd like to be. @Queen ApisM Thanks! Super helpful as well. I figure after we go through the initial learning session on 7/6 which I think will cover any surgical options they offer, I'll be asking all the questions and trying to also get insight into my body type and what they find to be most successful and safe. I think for me, I want to be sure I'm mentally ready. More so because I am a stress eater which I can admit helped put me where I am today so I know I need to overcome that. I think I'm ready in most ways such as cutting out some things and knowing I need to be more active to help take off and keep the weight off. More a question for anyone, but for stress eaters, did you see someone to discuss this before or after surgery? I know prior to, you talk with someone about the obvious live changes that any weight loss surgery can do to you, but i'm curious if someone has/is overcoming the stress of eating and what helps you? That's I think my biggest hurdle so i'm hoping for some inspiration. I think once I go through the information zoom call next month, I need to mentally set myself on the path to find more healthy ways to work through those emotions tbh my job is a large cause so I've been working towards that change already.

That's not silly at all. I wish I had that must restriction. I'm 4 weeks out, as well, and I can eat 3 ounces of food per meal, which I don't like. But it'll get better. I was told that as time goes on, you can eat more. But our stomachs are still healing, and some take longer than others. Look at the wins you're having when you start feeling down. Remind yourself that you can eat without any issues, remember the weight you're losing, focus on how your body is feeling and moving. This is a good thing, although I know food addiction is a beast. You can do this

Let's get specific about your dumping. I am one of the lucky ones that dump on both sugars and fats, so I may be able to offer some help. We need to get into specifics because not everyone understands exactly what dumping actually is. How often do you dump? If it's responsible for the majority of your weight loss as you claim then you would be dumping pretty frequently. If it is actually dumping you wouldn't likely be dumping enough to impact weight loss. What actual foods cause you to dump? In what quantities? How soon after you eat do your symptoms appear? What are the symptoms? Good luck, Tek

seven years out. The only macro I pay attention to at this point is protein. I have to have around 100 grams a day because we discovered early on that I malabsorb it, but most patients do fine on 60-80 grams. calories per day is going to vary from person to person. I know women who can eat 2000 and maintain, and I know other women who have to stay around 1200 to maintain. It depends on how tall you are, how active you are, your metabolic rate, and what weight you're trying to maintain. If you're trying to maintain 160 lbs, for example, you can eat a lot more than if you're trying to maintain 120 lbs. That said, I can maintain my current weight if I eat around 1700 calories a day, but again, that's a really individual thing. You just have to play around with calorie ranges until you find the one that works for you. hardcore rule - weight 30 minutes after eating to drink anything. That one is for life. dumping syndrome - only about 30% of bypassers have that - I've never had it. But it's caused by eating too much sugar or too much fat at one sitting. You can prevent it by avoiding or limiting the amount of sugar or fat you eat at one sitting.

Hi all. First time poster! Looking to start over, basically. I had weight loss surgery almost two years ago, lost all the weight, and have kept it off. However, it hasn't been for discipline, as my diet is fairly relaxed (too much) and I'm still struggling with dumping syndrome. I don't have a lot of information for the healed/maintenance phase. I've had a couple of requested appointments with my surgeon's office but the nutritionist is...not the best. So! For those who were given this info or are this far out: What should my macros be this far out? Calories per day? Portions? Any hardcore rules to still follow? Any tips to get rid of dumping syndrome? Let's start there. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks all and hope everyone is doing well on their plans!

I, too, felt I was taking the 'easy way out'. The truth is though, it's not easy. Bariatric surgery is a tool to help with weight loss. If you don't properly use the tool, you're still going to gain weight. Putting your body through all the prep, damage, and recovery is a lot of work. Following the Post-Op lifestyle is a lot of work. It's all work from start to finish. This isn't easy in no way, shape, or form. Sent from my Pixel 6 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

Im new on this app. Im 47 years old and have gained a lot of weight. I had tried soooo many diets and every week was always the beginning of a new diet. I tried so hard to get myself mentally focused on dieting but it was so hard and hard to get the motivation to do it. So about 3 weeks I was at 290 the biggest I have ever been in my life. I had already seen the a doctor about doing surgery. Which I feel like it was my last solution. But TBH I feel like I’m also taking the easy way out. Does anyone feel like that???? Anyhow so two weeks ago I started my pre op. And it’s been so hard just having one meal a day and the other two meals are replaced by a shake. I also get two snacks but It’ sucks. Surgery is June 13th. My insurance approved my surgery too. Which is the great part of it all. I been approved. As I been counting down my days I’m getting more nervous about surgery and I now been losing weight I’m down today at 276. Doctor wants me to be at 270 so I got 10 days to go. I don’t want to mess anything up for surgery but I’m hungry and I been reading some of these posting about afterwards. Some seem scary. But I do hope for the best. Anyone doing surgery this month? How is your pre op going?

I too had/have metabolic syndrome. I'm three weeks out from surgery and my blood pressure is back to normal range, my blood sugar is back to normal range, and I'm losing weight to get me out of the obese range. Cholesterol was lower as of my pre-surgery bloodwork but I'm also on Fenofibrate to reduce my triglycerides. I have repeat bloodwork in about four weeks to see if I can cut down on the Fenofibrate. But so far after surgery, I've come off my Metformin, Lisinopril, Propanalol, and now my hydrochlorithiazide (HCTZ), so I think surgery really will help with metabolic syndrome.

So i am a daily food tracker/body weigher through and through and probably won’t ever stop cuz I actually like doing it and i love to analyze data and trends (3.5+ years and still going) BUT….time and repetition (and data analysis) has taught me what amounts of what types of food is enough to maintain my weight AND not get sick. Stomach restriction also helps, but i tend not to rely on that too much because its just not comfortable (physically). If I were to eat to restriction every time, it is often too late and i’d feel sick/yucky more often. I just came back from vacation where I didn’t track nor weigh myself. I ate according to what I knew I could handle and came back the same weight as I left**. So I know I can do this without tracking. BUT I’ll continue to track anyway now that I’m back. Im lucky in the sense that my restriction is the last line of defence for over eating, but like i said, I rarely rely on that and just eat what I know i can handle. Historical tracking and paying attention helped alot it learning this for ME. So for those whose restriction is not as effective, recognizing what your limits are and keeping that in mind always to the point of second nature is probably your best bet. In short: Intuitive Eating. P.S. ** I was ridiculously constipated on vacay and after a long-awaited poop when I came back, i dropped almost 2.5 lbs, so i guess technically, i lost weight on vacation. Mind you, the fact that I didn’t like (nor eat) most of the food probably contributed to this.

Aawwww big hugs, it gets better it really does. Just do what you can food wise to help me through these stages I had things like KFC mash and gravy, chocolate mousse kids yoghurts and stuff like that. Staying on soft foods longer isn't a bad thing if your tummy isn't ready for the next stage . I was at the 4 month mark before I could comfortably eat real food and I even had days where I couldnt. At this point you are eating such tiny amounts that having things slightly higher in calories isn't going to hurt your weight loss. I know a lot will disagree with that but it worked for me. The restriction lessens so take advantage of it while you can.

I have been eating like crazy waiting for my insurance approval. I know my relationship with food isn’t great. I’m pretty sure I’m a sugar addict! I know how you feel and I’m not backing out either. I know things are going to change but feeling better is my goal. I feel downright awful with the weight I’m carrying. Portion control is the name of the game and I think chewing slowly helps me enjoy food better. Good luck with your surgery!

I had my revision on May 9, and my weight loss was steady, but the last few days I’ve been stuck. It’s hard for me to exercise. Is it common to have this problem? I suspect it could be that my body has grown accustomed to processing food in a certain way after 18 years post-RNY. I hope it’s just a speed bump. I’m trying to ingest mostly protein shakes and nonfat Greek yogurt.

This is what has worked for me: I look back on the past 10 years when I began to pack on the pounds with menopause and yo-yo dieting. 10 lbs a year for 10 years = 100 lbs. 😡 As I became increasingly frustrated with my weight loss attempts, I indulged in forbidden foods more and more. I am continuing to come to terms with food I won’t eat again by: (1) Reminding myself that I consumed more than my fair share of food during my 10 year food free for all; (2) Taking steps to return to my former perspective of controlling what I put in my mouth as THAT was always where I found my control; (3) Literally taking it one second at a time when I am feeling overwhelming like I MUST eat something; (4) Becoming adept at (3) makes me take pause and make mental note of my food triggers; (5) Remind myself that I can taste a fork/tiny spoonful/bite of pretty much anything in a few months, but I know me, and I think I won’t; (6) Sugar-free ice pops have been a godsend. The above-mentioned works for me. I think it helped me to assess and identify my weak spots and go from there. It will be different for everyone.

I’m going to try to tackle a couple different issues here. Two weeks ago I was nervous, anxious, scared, and snapping at everyone because surgery was 3 weeks away and I was seriously questioning the sanity of doing this. I cried, I yelled, I ate…then I calmed the heck down. 🤷🏻‍♀️ The most difficult, nearly impossible food item I have had to turn from is Coca Cola.  I did a very relaxed eating plan…couple of Protein Shakes, a salad starting 3 weeks before surgery. I knew that one week prior to surgery, I absolutely would follow my doctor’s pre - surgery plan to a T. I cheated once in awhile, but with surgery scheduled for June 8, I knew that on 5/31, I would be compliant. And, I was. I stayed on plan yesterday., I’ve been completely compliant today. 😊 I found, thanks to a recommendation here, that I love the Premier Peanut Butter chocolate shake. I have had a difficult time finding a shake I like because the pre-surgery selection for my surgeon was Premier or Bariatric Pal. Today I tried PB and chocolate and I’m good! FWIW, I’m doing every.little.thing I can to be nice to me in every category except putting food in my mouth. I went away with my daughter for the holiday weekend and relaxed and was nice to me. I took an entire day off from school today for my pre-anesthesia visit at the hospital, took a long nap this afternoon. Yesterday I was on a tele-visit for post-surgery care with an extremely well-informed nurse who also has undergone bariatric surgery. She was a wealth of information. This morning’s hospital visit really helped calm my nerves. We have amazing health care in Wake County, NC, and I am repeatedly impressed with the care that I have received. I feel much less stressed, and again very comfortable with my decision to pursue bariatric surgery because of those 2 surgeon-required pre-procedure appointments. I’ll continue to update as this moves forward. Thanks for reading. 😊 Starting Weight: 222 CW: 213 GW: 128 Height: 5’2” Age: 67 RNY, Hiatal hernia repair, gastric bypass, gallbladder removal 

6 weeks post op and got my bicycle from the shop a couple weeks ago and been riding. been using my bicycle instead of my car to get around and get things done. takes longer but its actually fun. 3 more days until my monthly weigh in and body measurements that i do on the 4th of every month. hopefully i lost some weight and got a bit smaller lol I also have yet to experience any issues with any foods.