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I will not call you a Nazi, but this is a medical problem that has been made into a police/law enforcement crisis. And the only people that gain anything from the problem are the people who work in the government. There has to be a better way that killing our own children. Who will the community (that needs safety) be when the children of the community are dead? It didn't work with alcohol and it will not work with drugs.

I have been using the "I don't have any pot today, try this..." argument ever since the late 1960's. That should give the readers of this thread an idea of how long this fruitless "war on drugs" has been failing. And I will say it, "Pot is no worse and probably a lot better than alcohol". Of course "the munchies" is a Lap-Bandster's worst nightmare

And I also believe that mothers who ingest alcohol or ANY type of drug while pregnant should be prosecuted for: child abuse, gross neglect and attempted murder.

And I agree with both of you on this issue. It would be interesting if the government could get over itself and treat drug use in the same way that it treats alcohol and nicotine use: tell us that it is bad for us but allow us to buy drugs and tax the hell out of those of us who want them. Then the government would be reaping tax dollars instead of spending tax dollars on an ineffective war. This money could go toward to improving society in ever so many ways and all without placing a greater burden on the taxpayer. It is interesting to note that the use of opiates was widespread in Victorian England and yet that society was an extraordinarily productive one.

I think most of us can empathize with the impatience to get the surgery done. However, some of the things you've written sound like you believe your depression is due to your weight and will magically go away once you've had surgery. This is a very dangerous assumption; while obesity can certainly contribute to depression, there are likely other things that have caused it, and depression can lead to obesity. If you are not already seeing a therapist I would highly advise finding a good one and working on your mental food issues first before rushing into surgery. I have read that many people who are unprepared, find that when their main source of comfort (food) is gone, they have no idea how to handle their emotions. Some transfer their addictions to alcohol, shopping, gambling, etc. Some get help and some probably never do, and end up regaining weight once the honeymoon period is over. I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years for my depression and overeating. It took awhile but I have finally reached the point that, while I still overeat sometimes, it's not an automatic reaction to stress or anger. I buried my anger at my husband for 20+ years in food. I've now separated from him, before deciding on WLS. Also, from a practical standpoint, there are lots of things you can be doing while waiting for surgery - practice all the things you'll need afterward - start walking if you aren't already, practice eating small bites, chewing thoroughly, no beverage with meals, drinking 64 oz Water per day, etc. Wean yourself off caffeine if you drink a lot of it now, same with sodas, etc. I would also do a lot of reading here and elsewhere on the web about the lap band. I know there are some very successful people here on BP who have had it. I also see a LOT of people who either were unsuccessful or have had to have it removed due to complications and are often moving to bypass or sleeve later. So be sure you've done your research before deciding on it. My surgeon won't even place them anymore b/c he spends more time removing them.

Many, many addicts, alcoholics, smokers, etc. are simply told to stop and are given no more than counseling and many succeed. We are given the added bonus of a great tool via variatric surgery to ensure our success if we use it right. It's was my opinion that I could do anything for 3-4 weeks to cleanse my system, retrain my brain, and focus on my future good health. And no, I've never argued against WLS. I'm 3.5 years out and maintaining beautifully. I was simply giving you MY opinion of your perspective. Please don't put your words in my mouth simply because you feel differently.

My family knows but I've only told a few close friends and I did, indeed, get a raised eyebrow or two. I would not begrudge an alcoholic and drug addict whatever method or "shortcut" he or she felt was needed to succeed. But I can understand not wanting to tell people. Of course, I know a handful of people who have had the surgery, and they're very supportive!

Tomorrow I will have had George D. Band for one year. Luckily, I haven't had any problems. I have gotten about 6 fills and feel like I am in a good place. George is a little tempermental, tightening up whenever he wants to. I have lost 57 lbs and counting. The first 6 months the weight came off with what seem of ease. Then the last 6 months it's slowed to almost nothing. I know, however, the slow down is my own fault. When I began this journey in April 2012, I was excited and determined. I was banded June 22, 2012 and did everything that I was told. As time went by and the weight came off I started to become a little lax on following the rules- like a couple of extra bites here and there and eating more calories than I should. For a while I was getting on the elliptical daily or at the least every other day and getting 30 -45 min. Now my workout routine has become sporatic at best. Partly, the lack of exercise is because work has become very busy and life consuming since we are switching computer systems. Partly, I let the work outs slip because I just didn't want to do it, even though I knew I should. The last month my weight has bounced between 187-190, basically the first 50 lbs fell off the last 7 have come about a pound a month. I do follow the water thing religiously and I do not drink any type of carbonation. I have only had a couple of alcohol drink and they were mixed drinks, which is my preference anyway. I have really started these last couple of weeks trying to get back on track and not allow myself a cheat. This isn't always easy, but it is something I must do. This time of year ice cream and iced coffee from McDonalds are deamons. I love these things during the summer months, so I am trying to avoid them. I hope that I can rededicated my life to dear George and get him working like a champ again. I admit that I have not lived up to my end of the bargin, but George has agree to forgive me. However, George must be a little upset at me because for the last two days he has decided to tighten up to the point yogurt is my food of choice and it keeps me going for 4 hours. I wish he'd loosen up just a touch. So to sum it up after a year of happy marriage to dear George D. Band we are still stitched together, just needing a little couple's therapy.

We were setting up refreshments at work today for an event and we were talking about food. I made the comment that I don't trust myself to eat just one (sweets are a trigger food). A lady goes "you have to learn to eat just one cookie.." I'm sure some of y'all can eat just one, but if it's a trigger food there is no way I'm eating just one. For me it's the same as if she told an alcoholic to have just one beer. It's going to lead to a lot more. /end rant

Protein bars rating out of 10 P=protein C=calories S=sugar Sa=sugar alcohol Balance- Chocolate chip cookie dough 15p 210c 17s 5/10 Chocolate mint cookie crunch 14p 200c 16s 9/10 (tastes like thin mint) Chocolate peanut butter 14p 200c 17s 4/10 Cookie dough 15p 210c 17s 4/10 Bounce- Coconut macadamia 8p 160c 9s 4/10 Cliff bars- Blueberry crisp 10p 250c 22s 10/10 Chocolate chip peanut crunch 10p 260c 20s 7/10 Peanut toffee buzz 10p 250c 21s 10/10 White chocolate macadamia 9p 260c 20s 4.5/10 Cliff builder- Chocolate hazelnut 20p 280c 20s 7/10 (does not taste like hazelnut, more like caramel): Chocolate mint 20p 270c 22s 8/10 (flavor [emoji1303] texture [emoji1304]) Chocolate peanut butter 20p 280c 21s 6/10 Epic- Beef habanero cherry 13p 190c 9s 0/10 Chicken sriracha 15p 100c 0s 9/10 Fit joy- Birthday cake batter 20p 230c 3s 10/10 Homemade pumpkin 20p 220c 4s 8/10 GNC- Lean shake banana cream 170c 25p 2s 7/10 (not strong but no after taste) Lean shake chocolate 25p 170c 2s 6/10 Lean shake pumpkin spice 25p 170c 2s 10/10 Lean shake strawberries and cream 25p 170c 2s 9/10 Lean shake vanilla 25p 170c 2s 5/10 Isopure- Blue raspberry 40p 160c 0s 9/10 Larabar- Pumpkin pie 10p 220c 18s 4/10 Luna- chocolate cupcake 9p 190c 4/10 Chocolate chip cookie dough 12p 170c 15s 9/10 Chocolate coconut almond protein 12p 180c 13s 8.5/10 Chocolate peanut butter 8p 180c 5s 8/10 Chocolate peanut butter protein 12p 190c 13s 11/10 Chocolate peppermint stick 8p 190c 8s 10/10 Chocolate salted caramel protein 12p 170c 15s 6.5/10 Lemon zest 9p 190c 9s 12/10 Peanut butter cookie 10p 240c 18s 2/10 Oatmega- Brownie crisp 14p 190c 5s 7/10 Oh yeah! One- Almond bliss 21p 230c 1s 10sa 10/10 (tastes like almond joy) Birthday cake 21 p 220c 1s 10sa 10/10 Blueberry cobbler 20p 220c 1s 10sa 10/10 Chocolate birthday cake 22p 210c 1s 9sa 5/10 Chocolate chip cookie dough 210c 1s 11sa 6/10 Cinnamon roll 20p 230c 1s 11sa 0/10 Cookies and cream 22p 220c 1s 10sa 5/10 Lemon cake 22p 220c 1s 10sa 10/10 Maple glazed donut 20p 220c 1s 10sa 10/10 Mint chocolate chip 220c 8/10 Peanut butter pie 22p 220c 1s 9sa 10/10 Salted caramel 20p 220c 1s 10sa 11/10 Power bar- Cookies and cream 20p 210c 13s 1/10 Promax- Chocolate chip cookie dough 20p 290c 26s 6/10 Double fudge brownie 20p 280c 29s 2/10 Quest bar- Apple pie 20p 190c 3s 7/10 Banana nut muffin 20p 180c 2s 10/10 Blueberry muffin 21p 190c 2s 11/10 Cereal-chocolate 12p 110c 8s 10/10 Cereal- cinnamon bun 12p 110c 8s 8/10 Cereal-waffle 12p 110c 8s 10/10 Chocolate chip cookie dough 21p 190c 1s 10/10 Chocolate peanut butter 20p 170c 1s 5/10 Cinnamon roll 20p 170c 1s 4/10 Coconut cashew 20p 190c 1s 7/10 Cookies and cream 21p 190c 1s 10/10 Lemon cream pie 20p 170c 1s 4/10 Mint chocolate chip 20p 190c 1s 8/10 Mocha chocolate chip 20p 180c 1s 11/10 Oatmeal chocolate chip 20p 190c 1s 5/10 Peanut butter and jelly 20p 200c 2s 0/10 Rocky road 20p 210c 1s 10/10 Smores 20p 180c 1s 9/10 Quest chips- BBQ 22p 130c 0s 9/10 Cheddar sour cream 22p 130c 0s 10/10 Sea salt 23p 130c 0s 1/10 Sour cream and onion 21p 120c 1s 9/10 Quest shake- Banana cream 21p 100c 2s 6/10 Cookies and cream 20p 100c 1s 4/10 Peanut butter 23p 110c 1s 10/10 Salted caramel 22p 100c 1s 12/10 Think thin- Brownie crisp high protein 20p 230c 12sa 5/10 Chocolate peanut butter toffee 13p 180c 2s 9sa 5.5/10 Cinnamon bun white chocolate 10p 150c 5s 10/10 Cookies and cream 20p 230c 14sa 1/10 Lemon 20p 240c 13sa 10/10 Peanut butter 20p 240c 11sa 11/10 (tastes like Reese's) - [ ] Salted caramel 10p 150c 5s 11/10 Smores 10p 150c 5s 8.5/10 Zing- Dark chocolate coconut 10p 210c 13s 3/10 Dark chocolate mint 11p 210c 13s 6/10 (mint flavor VERY strong)

1) Do any of you use baby spoons or forks for smaller bites? no 2) Do all of you NOT sip water when eating? no sipping here 3) How much alcohol can get you buzzed now that you are banded? Haven't really tried I had one shot of tequilla 2 days ago to celebrate going under 200 pounds and I did feel it a little 4) Who can still eat fast food? no 5) Who can still eat bread? haven't tried to eat bread, I don't want to know 6) Do any of you do Atkins? my own version of it - Low carb/Low fat/High protein diet 7) Do any of you do Weight Watcher's program? no 8) Does sex count as exercise? I hope so 9) Anyone have problems with chewing/swallowing/digesting nuts? no, but I only eat a handful once in a blue moon 10) What about cheese? I eat low fat cheese once in a while 11) Anyone already noticing their skin sagging? yes, lots of saggy skin issues 12) Any good snack ideas out there besides veggies? I am burned out on them!! I try not to snack 13) Any good tips period? 14) How long should it take to lose 10 pounds if you are doing everything correctly? impossible to tell, depends on many individual things like metabolism, excercise, etc.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

1) Do any of you use baby spoons or forks for smaller bites? No, I use regular forks but I take small bites. 2) Do all of you NOT sip Water when eating? I never drink while eating and wait for one hour after eating. 3) How much alcohol can get you buzzed now that you are banded? One large glass of wine. 4) Who can still eat fast food? Noooo way! Stuck every time! Although I can eat 1/2 of the inside of a bean burrito from Taco Bell, but probably only because that is so mushy. 5) Who can still eat bread? No problem with any kind of bread, but often skip most of it because it fills me up too fast and prohibits me from eating enough Protein. Usually a couple of bites does the trick. 6) Do any of you do Atkins? No way! I'm done with low-carb! 7) Do any of you do Weight Watcher's program? No. I'm so happy I don't have to diet any more. 8) Does sex count as exercise? Absolutely! 9) Anyone have problems with chewing/swallowing/digesting nuts? I've been stuck on nuts more than once. They are very difficult for me. However, if I have my wine first it relaxes my system enough to have a few nuts very very slowly and in tiny tiny bites. 10) What about cheese? Never had a problem with any kind of cheese. 11) Anyone already noticing their skin sagging? Yes! I'm 72 pounds down and my boobs point straight to the floor. My lower abdomen is starting to look like I've had a baby. 12) Any good snack ideas out there besides veggies? I am burned out on them!! I love regular Snacks like pretzels, fritos, cheese, chips. But I really don't snack very often as these foods are high calorie. I save them for about once a week. 13) Any good tips period? I'd like to share my rules for avoiding a PB. Prior to these rules I was Pbing once a week or more. After following these rules I have gone over three weeks with no PB! - liquids only in the morning. (I like to have a Protein shake that contains all of my daily vitamins) - soft/easy food in tiny tiny bites for lunch (soup, Beans, chili, anything soft) -One to two glasses of wine before dinner every night. What a relief to be PB free for over three weeks! My goal is one month or even longer! 14) How long should it take to lose 10 pounds if you are doing everything correctly? I've been losing about 6.5-7 pounds a month since surgery.

There are a number of reasons someone's liver can be enlarged. For us who are obese it's usually a nonalcoholic fatty liver, but it could be caused by hepatitis, autoimmune conditions, alcoholic fatty liver, cysts, gallbladder issues, mono.. It doesn't sound like she had any identified problem aside from maybe NAFLD. OP - I'm so sorry, I can imagine this is fairly traumatic. I do wonder if it's just the surgeon's level of skill, confidence, or just the liver size that determines a surgeon's plan of action. It does seem to vary widely - for example, I was 325 pre-surgery, 321 on surgery day, and only had a prescribed diet of Clear liquids the day before surgery, no pre-op diet. My surgeon didn't mention any problems with my liver. Do you have any comorbidities that might have affected it? I am surprised that on that low of calorie diet that you didn't lose more than 8 pounds. I really hope you hang in there and follow the diet again (You can do it!) and kick those 20 pounds to the curb so that you can get your surgery done. After this whole ordeal, you deserve to be dropping some weight and feeling great.

Okay...so a lot of people have posted questions on here about the psych evaluation. I don't expect this to necessarily help anyone but I wanted to share my experience. It is somewhat different that any other post I have read. First of all I struggled with the decision to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I know a psychologist on a professional level so I knew I would feel comfortable with him. I also knew if I went to him I would have to complete testing whereas if I went to see a psychiatrist, it would only be an interview. In the end it was money that made the decision for me. I only had a copay with the psychiatrist whereas I would have to pay for the testing and interview with a psychologist, which was considerably more than my copay. How did I find the psychiatrist? An acquaintance had the surgery and said she could only find one who would do the evaluation. I would have to drive 90 min one way. Fine. I asked about her experience with the evaluation and the first thing she said was "I felt like she was trying to talk me out of it." The acquaintance was 5'5 inches, 300 lbs and had no co-morbid conditions. So, I was curious to see if I felt like she had tried to "talk me out of it." I am 150 lbs overweight. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and a long history of high cholesterol and triglycerides (although I do not currently have this problem). The psychiatrist asked questions I expected to be asked: current medical conditions, medications, family history, occupation, marital status, past and current mental health issues, past trauma, past relationships and how long they were, etc. She asked me what procedure I was having (sleeve). She did not ask me anything at all about my weight history, if I had a support system or if there were any stressors in my life. So at the end of the interview this is what she had to say: 1. You need to know there is currently NOT a cure for obesity. If there were, everyone would be having the surgery. You should also know the statistics say there is a high rate people who regain their weight back. My response to her was i felt like without the surgery I had a 0% chance of losing this weight and keeping it off. With the surgery, at least I will have a chance! I added I think the benefits will outweigh the risks. 2. There is a phenomenon known as addiction transfer and you are at a very high risk for this. I immediately stopped her and told her I was aware of this concerned about this as well and talked to my therapist about it. With regard to the transfer of food to alcohol addiction, I don't drink at all now. So, in order for me to avoid this, I should not ever drink. Of course, at this point she had to tell me about her "friend" who never drank before surgery who ended up being an alcoholic. I'm not quite sure why she said I was at a "high risk" for this because the only addiction I've ever had is food. However, my father and sister both died from drug addiction so I am statistically more likely to have addiction problems. I understand this may occur so I will be more cognizant of it. 3. You need to be aware this is a "dangerous and risky procedure." Well so is life saving brain and heart surgery! She said this on two different occasions. First, she told me about another "friend" who had a leak at the staple line. Then, the kicker of it all is this psychiatrist was morbidly obese herself! Not just obese, morbidly obese. Round as she was tall. So then she says to me I would have the surgery myself if it wasn't so "dangerous and risky." So..did I feel like she was trying to talk me out of it? Hell yes! I find it ironic that a person who I know understands the struggles of being obese would have this perspective on WLS. Her responses were the kind of feedback you get from a normal, lay person. Another oddity...she also out of the blue said "you look good." What does that mean? My hair and clothes were clean or I didn't act like was experiencing psychosis? I didn't ask. She did clear me for surgery so I guess that is the most important thing but that experience left me scratching my head......

when is your surgery? Your nutritionist will tell you what your surgeons/programs requirements are. Just like you said, oddly enough, everyone is given different instructions depending on their doctor's requirements. For me, I am currently following a 2 week pre op diet. My surgery is 3/4. I am allowed 5 Protein shakes a day, one serving of veggie a day, one serving of fruit a day and one serving of starch a day. I can also have all the Clear liquids I want which include sugar free popsicles, SF Jello, broth, SF liquids etc (I can not have any caffeine, carbonation or alcohol). I thought it was going to be torture but it really hasn't been that bad. I'm sure the next time you meet with your nutritionist he/she will start providing you more and more info regarding this, if not just ask. Good luck on your staring weight loss, you can do this!

I'm almost 1 month post op, so I'm just out the gate. I used to LOVE wine, but I've been a good girl and have had nada. I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding and I REALLY want to imbue. Be honest. How have you dealt with alcohol? I don't want to go bananas and drink all night, but I'd sure like a glass of wine at the bachelorette party (this Sat) and one at the wedding (June 4). Go for it? One or the other? Avoid? Do you drink? Please put in your 2 cents.

How about a teacher's perspective? I work in elementary schools, with kids in grades K - 5. I see MANY parents fight the labeling of ADD/ADHD, and that is understandable to a degree. However, I see what happens when parents do that.......I see the kids when they are left back a grade, or are needing to be placed in a resource room situation rather than a regular classroom due to their lack of control - yes, even the very smart kids with ADHD! An example: I am working with a family that has one child, a boy, who now is 11 years old in 5th grade, with an IQ of about 130, upper average. He has struggled with school since Kindergarten. Nice little boy, who WANTS to do well, but can't help it when his impulse is to yell out an answer, or to turn the game board over when he is losing....things that don't work well in a public school! He is receiving Cs and Ds, and there is discussion of having him repeat the year....he's been so unavailable to learning.........His teachers reached out to parents each year, asking parents to have him evaluated. Unfortunately, he couldn't sit through the school evaluation long enough for the results to be valid. Parents don't want to medicate, even though his family pediatrician believes he has ADHD. They wanted to try hypnosis, the FienGold Diet (from the 70s--eliminates sugar, etc..), nutritional supplements.....each year it was something new and different. Meanwhile, his grades have absolutely plummeted - parents are not hurting for money, so they hired a homework tutor every day so that they could remove themselves from that battle; his peers laugh at him, and he sits alone at lunch time because he seems so different to the others; doesn't do well on team sports since he is so impulsive; was recently suspended when he snapped a classmates bra strap cause someone told him to do it, and he lacks the impulse control to stop and evaluate; How sad is all of this? He asks his parents for medication so he can be like the others.....just breaks your heart, yet the parents don't believe in medication. I see many kids throughout my day who are on meds that might be able to handle contracts, charts and stickers....but as they get older, these aren't as helpful to kids, and contrary to what someone wrote earlier, this generally doesn't "go away" and they don't tend to "grow out of it." What happens, is they stop making the growth their peers continue to make, and are kept apart from the group, making them feel like outcasts....grades suffer, and many have to stay back because they have no sped help, and no medication to help - so they learn to self medicate, with drugs, alcohol, food.....pick your poison! Instead, with help from professionals, these kids learn how to help themselves with organizers, check in/check out in school, extended time given for tests and assignments....but not if the child isn't identified as having ADHD. If you hide from it, nothing good will happen, that I can guarantee you! I have a lot of experience working with kids and families dealing with ADHD...can you tell have a lot of passion about this subject? I'm not promoting medication, but just warning that if it really and truly is ADHD, medication can work wonders..........and doesn't need to have the stigma many wish to attach to it. I had a student a couple years ago that by the time he had reached 5th grade, he wasn't able to complete any homework independently, was failing many subjects......friendship issues....parents finally decided to try meds. They tried one, and it caused eating issues. Tried another, didn't work well. Almost ready to give up, and tried another---this was the winner! The child commented to me, "Mrs. K, the room stopped spinning! I hear your voice so clearly now-" Wow - how powerful is that? (ADD kids often have trouble isolating noises - they hear everything all the time and aren't sure how to tune in to one thing and let the others fade...) This kid had been so unavailable to learning for so many years - he had a lot of catching up to do! Last I heard, he was making honor roll! Talk about success........... A good source of information is Dr. Hallowelll.........can't recall the books he's written at the moment - it's been a long day already, lol! But if you do a search on him, you should come up with a couple books he's written. I believe he equates kids with ADD needing their meds just like a diabetic needs their insulin..........it's a brain chemical interferences, and it's cruel to assume they can themselves can "fix" it with just a behavior modification chart, or something along those lines......... Feel free to email me any questions - I can be a bit long winded about this stuff! :nervous

I was updating my blog tonight and went back to my pre-op journal to see how it relates to my experience and how I am doing. One of the best things in there was this Plan for Success that I wrote out. Here it is, verbatim, with my comments from today following each item. I thought it would be interesting for us all to share ideas on what things we can do to help ourselves to succeed! Add anything you want to this string! Plan for Success: In reading one of my "band" books tonight, I came across an article that said that having a game plan can really improve my chances for success. I've been thinking of a few things I can do, but hadn't really formalized a plan. So, here goes: THINGS I WILL DO TO HELP MYSELF SUCCEED: - Tell family and friends about the surgery so that I will have a support network (and won't feel weird when eating with them) - (DONE!) - Commit to staying exactly on my pre-op Clear liquids diet - (DONE!) - Commit to the post-op plan of 2 weeks full liquids, then 2 weeks of soft foods - (DONE!) - Think of ways to Celebrate my birthday with friends where eating won't be an issue (maybe a girl's day at Ohm?) - (DONE! Had a great time at Ohm Spa, by the way!) - Hire a personal trainer as of 11/08/08 (I didn't do this on schedule, but I did hire the trainer and recommitted to exercising in a serious way . . see bruise photo from previous post!) - Keep good, correct foods in the house. (DONE!) - Avoid alcohol to the extent possible. (I could be better about this to be perfectly honest. . is just such a big part of my social life that it's hard to really avoid, plus I love a nice glass of wine) - Commit to taking SMALL bites and chewing until food is dissolved (DONE! I'm not perfect, but I do a pretty good job at this) - Commit to small sips (Honestly, this hasn't been all that necessary) - Commit to avoiding calorie-filled beverages (DONE! Well, except for wine!) - Journal/blog regularly and chronicle your success -- AND admit it if you mess up (DONE! And is an on-going part of my plan!) - Look for NSVs if/when your weight plateaus (I'm doing this!) - Try out the support group at NYU (I haven't done this, but I feel like LBT and the people who I know through my blog do what I would have hoped a support group to do) - Be proactive about your care -- don't wait so long for a fill that you gain weight. (DONE!) - Measure yourself periodically and write down your measurements (DONE!) - Know that this is not going to be easy, but that this will be worth while. And, know that this WILL be easier than staying on a diet on your own for a whole year, then maintaining your weight long-term. (So true -- and I do fully know that.) - Try to notice NSVs (like less foot and back pain) as they occur (DONE!) - Make mini-goals for yourself, e.g. 10 lb goals, and feel free to reward yourself with facials, massages, nice mani/pedis, etc. (Oh believe me. . DONE!) - Go through your closet and "size" it so that you won't miss wearing cute things that you like on the way to goal (DONE!) - Don't read too much about negative/failure stories on the lap band chat rooms. (DONE! I do read some of those stories, but I don't get sucked in, which accomplishes my fundamental objective.) - When you start going to restaurants again, do trial runs with your friends who know about the surgery (plus, will be fun). (DONE!) - Don't get disproportionately upset if any of your good friends don't understand, say the wrong thing, etc. They love you, and no one is perfect. (Honestly, my friends have been pretty freaking amazing. I'm very lucky in that way.) - Focus on your other hobbies and interests (Get new letterpress projects, enjoy the Van Gogh course at MOMA) - (DONE! Unfortunately, the Van Gogh course was totally sold out, so I never did get to take it, but I've been spending more time on my hobbies, which is always very enjoyable). I hope that was helpful

Hi, My Doc has said I can have anything except bread, alcohol and fizzy drinks. I can't drink with a meal either. He dosen't want me to have a liquid diet as he says these tend to contain more calories. I am eating sensibly and chewing well, mainly soup, salads, fish and yogurts really.He says my stomach is not that different to before size wise though it is a bit swollen. i am only eating small portions as I don't want to have too big a shock when I have my fill!

My stomach has been pretty happy with everything I’ve thrown at it, but I’ve categorized some things as “not for me anymore”. I know this isn’t popular and everything in moderation seems more sustainable but i also recognize that there are a few foods I can’t control myself with once I start. For me that’s candy and chips/popcorn. I know from past experience I can’t have it in the house and if I start with it I will eat too much. I also recognize that I’m the daughter of alcoholics and that I have addictive tendencies. Try to think about if you are able to eat well in moderation or if you have some trigger foods that might not be able to be incorporated into your long term diet. Fast food and cookies might be something that won’t work for you.

Byron Katie's (AKA Katie) Besteselling Book, "Loving What Is", is the singularly best book I have every read (and teaches you her simple 4 question and "turnaround" process to follow) to deal with the thinking that leads to overeating, drinking or any of the other things we do to medicate our thoughts. I could NEVER have gotten through this lapband process without using these 4 questions. I also gave up alcohol, drugs and cigarettes over 1 1/2 years ago using the process which is called "The Work". It helps me identify my stressful thoughts, question them, and miraculously they "let go of me". I don't need to change my thoughts, I just question them, and they leave me - and "Peace" is what's left. I rarely eat "emotionally" anymore. If, like me, you start reading it and it sounds too simple, don't give up - I stuck with it, and as my husband says, "I have a whole New, Wonderful, Wife!" And this is PRIOR TO WEIGHTLOSS. Also her book, "I need your love is that true" Is just as amazing and explains how to do this work and also a lot more about how we seek "Love, Appreciation and Approval. You can see video demos of the process, called "The Work" at www.thework.com. You do not need a teacher or to buy a bunch of stuff; it is a simple process where YOUR answers are all you need, these 4 questions are soooooo penetrating and you get to tap into a self-wisdom that you may have had no idea you possessed. And the process is SIMPLE! You can contact me anytime if you need help - at no charge of course. I just love sharing this remarkable tool. There is a free hotline too, at the website, and so much free support from Katie, it is unprecedented. Give it a try, and if you want, I still have some boxes of free cds and mini-books I can send you until they run out. I will send you a set. But her book is at any bookstore, or you can ask them to order it, or get it on her website. I am not affiliated with Byron Katie International. I am not trying to sell anything. I just think this the THE WORK for those of us that struggle with food and other compulsions and I love spreading the word. LOVE TO YOU ALL!

Of course, we can be friends with ANYONE. But it's a fact that fat friends tend to make us fat and keep us fat. Here are just two of the research studies with this finding: http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-your-friends-make-you-fat%E2%80%94the-social-network-of-weight-201105242666 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2765271/Fat-friends-make-eat-MORE-You-likely-ditch-healthy-eating-goals-eating-overweight-companions.html IMHO, there's strong agreement in these relationships that fat / food/ fitness won't ever be discussed seriously. The friends agree that those topics are too painful / embarrassing / irritating / upsetting to deal with and that they will continue to issue permission to each other to continue their unhealthy behaviors. The same dynamic dominates relationships among drug users, alcoholics, and other substance abusers.

In the end, it's about two things... (1) your own head, and (2) the arrangement you make with those around you. Regarding #1 -- You can "flip the switch" in your own head to turn off all the food noise around you. You just have to find the switch!! Many of us have no problems with people eating around us, because we were very focused on what we were doing and why. I'm not saying you SHOULD be in that place, I'm just saying that if you can find a way to get to that place, the journey will be a little easier... Easier said than done I know!! Regarding #2 -- You and your husband need to talk about what support you need. And he has to agree to it. If you ask him not to eat in front of you and he agrees, and then does it anyway, he's a big old jerk and you have a right to be angry. But if he's not signing up for that, then you guys have to negotiate for what he will agree to do... In my house, I don't care what my husband eats in front of me. However, I've asked that we remove the alcohol from the house. I love to drink. And before surgery, we used to have a drink or two every night before bed... I don't want to give up drinking entirely, and I really don't think I can be trusted to only drink "sometimes" or "in moderation" if he's going to drink every night in front of me at home. So I've decided to try drinking only when I'm out, in a social situation... Is that totally fair to him? Not if he is resentful or angry about it... But sure, it's totally fair if he's happy to support me and agrees to do it. As it turns out we had a big fight one night because (during pre-op phase) he snuck booze into his juice and I caught him. I flipped out (more that he was sneaking it) and basically told him that I refused to be his mother, and that if he's so dead set on drinking regardless of the impact on me, he should just pull all the alcohol back in the house and act like an adult and make the decision that he didn't want to support me... I'm a big girl, I can deal with being told no, but don't pretend to be supportive and then make me the bad guy when I find out that he's lying about it... Grrr... Anyway. Point being that I understand what you're going through, but it is YOUR journey... Your family will hopefully help, but it's not actually their journey...

Ill admit it, I've had a few days where I was probably around there. Ill be honest, alcohol was involved in one of them (no lectures please!). The others were just way too much grazing and where there was food all around me. Those are not normal numbers for me. I am for 600-800 cals most days. I always feel crappy with myself if I go over 1,000, but we are human, we have slip ups. I've been fortunate enough (or unfortunate really) that no food bothers me. Bread is fine, sweat don't get me sick. Nothing. I don't even get drunk off of alcohol the way others say they do. I had my first drink after surgery and was waiting to get drunk and it never happened. So I have to really watch myself carefully with my choices. I wish I had some issues with SOMETHING lol. But yea I've had a few high calorie days but as long as you pull yourself back up and do the best you can after, that's all that matters.

Will drinking alcohol make you fail a sleep study test