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I have talked to the nutritionist and had to see a therpaist. I was with a nutritionist for 6 months prior to getting surgery and then after. I also had to meet with a therapist before and after. Everyone saying that I must have some issue with food because I do little treats I became upset. I actually called the nutritionist and she said my thought process is healthy. If I can have a small treat, like a chocolate covered cherry and it makes me happy then I should go with it. The reason being is it is the holidays and we have sooo many temptations so to choose one here and there is healthy. To give myself only certain days for those treats are even better. I keep track of what I eat in a food journal and the nutritionist said that they say people with mental connections to food and my connection isn't to sweet. My connection was to fast food and that was just because of cooking. I just forget to take something out and end up getting fast food. I am working on changing that. I can't eat fast food anymore it makes me sick. Blech, maybe that is a mental thing but all the grease turns my stomach. When I first started this process I had prepared myself for no sugar in anything. I have already written off soda, though I only used to have ginger ale which is a lesser of the evils but still evil. I only drink water with maybe a 6oz cup of ice tea once a week to take my morning pills. My friends and family live around going out to eat, so I try to make smart choices and plan outings when I know I will feel hungry and ask to see the calorie/protein information for their meals. I order my meal off of that. This lady at our support group I was talking to told me, "I give myself a little treat twice a week. I work hard at loosing weight, I watch what I eat all the time, exercise, and I believe that a treat will not kill me." My nutritionist says that during the holidays especially, to have this mindset is healthy, it prevents a person from gorging themselves on stuff they shouldn't. We all have snacks, cookies, treats and the like in our houses this time of year so being smart about our choices saves us a lot of headache and heartache later. I agree, as far as my weight gain, did I have a part in it? Well, my only part was probably eating out too often. However, the thing to point out was that even prior to the six months with the nutritionist a year prior to this, I excercised, I ate all protein and vegtables, proper amounts, did not cheat at all, stayed away from sugar and sugary drinks. I kept a food journal and didn't lie at all, I was honest because I wanted to find out why this is going on. I went to the gym five days a week and gained weight, even working with a personal trainer. So in the end, my doctors and my OBGYN told me, "with PCOS it is hard to loose the weight and gaining is super easy." He said that I shouldn't blame myself for my weight if I am trying to loose and keep on gaining. My doctor said that I should consider getting the lap band, that people with PCOS and Hypothyroid benefit from it. The doctors, trainers and everyone else sees how "little" I was eating and how much effort I had been putting into my weight loss to only gain. I don't have a mental thing with food, I do have an issue with authority that I will readily admit. IF someones tells me I can't have something, I strive harder to get it. So I had that battle early on in this process. As in Buddhism, there is a Middle Way, you do not have to seek extremes to move forward towards goals. I eat healthy, have my treats on Tuesday and/or Thursdays, depending on schedules. Some weeks I don't have anything. I believe that some of this will go away when I feel fuller with the next few fills. Part of the problem in my mind is that at night I am hungry. Once that fades out a little I am sure I will get and once these holidays are gone the treats will be out of the house and I won't crave them anymore. People asked me what kind of cake I want for my birthday this coming January, honestly, nothing sounds good. The thought of cake kind of turns my stomach. I think I will ask for a carrot cake and just have a little piece with out the frosting. I have been using Splenda for cooking and baking. Even though I don't end up eating 9/10ths of what I make. I don't know, I think I am doing great. The people who know me best say I am doing great and agree with me about the food issues. I have a friend who is going to a therapist for food issues and we talk all the time. I see her struggles and honestly, I could go with out the treats. She says, "the difference is I couldn't. I would HAVE to have that treat every tuesday and thursday if I set days up like that, so for me that wouldn't be healthy. For you it is a guideline." Last night, which was Thursday, I had no treats. Last Tuesday I had a chocolate covered cherry because I was up all night with a sick baby and was craving something sweet. The last few nights up with her I had nothing. So I don't know, I guess I don't see it the way you guys do. I view it as having healthy guidelines and realizing that by setting up windows of days that I can treat myself works for me.

Hello, all. I was "sleeved" on Nov 18. I lost a lot of weight preceding the surgery (40 lbs) thanks to Phentermine. Then I lost another 15 pounds in the week around the surgery because those Protein drinks (isopure) are only 160 calories each. But once I started in on Soups in phase 2, I just stopped losing and haven't lost a pound in the last two weeks. In fact, I gained 3 pounds. I feel hungry a lot and can eat nearly 2 cups before my body says "stop" (hiccups are the warning). Is that normal? I don't want to overstress my stomach but also expect the surgery to help out in the portion control. Since I lost so much before, I'm not too worried, but I'll be concerned if I don't start losing again soon. I suspect that the problem is that liquids aren't constrained by the size of the new stomach, so I can eat more before feeling "full." I also suspect that the weight gain is just recovery from the surgery, not a gain in body fat. But I don't know what to expect. Anyone else able to eat more than they thought a 60ml stomach should hold? Any advice about portions and hunger management? Anyone else gain weight after surgery? How long did it take until you started losing again? Thanks for your comments.

Hello and welcome! Sorry to hear about the nasty turn of events that have caused your disability and weight gain. My husband suffered a severe work injury four years ago that has left him disabled. I understand the toll that can have on someone, both physically and emotionally. I wish you luck in your journey. I'm sure March will be hear before any of us even know it. I am due to be banded on December 27.

I am hoping the band helps and so far so good. I physically cannot over eat like I did in the past. I have been diagnosed bi-polar but haven't touched my medication in a long time. I have too many health related prescriptions that are hard enough to keep track of. Depression makes it that much worse. It's like I have an excuse to say screw it. I refuse to let even the smallest weight gain get me depressed because that may trigger reverting back to emotional eating.

Arlene, sounds like WW is going low-glycemic. It's healthy eating but with your sensitivity to carbs you may have to eliminate even low-glycemic carbs to lose weight. Or do a couple of days of no carbs to lose and then do the low glycemic to maintain. I alternated during weight loss and I go back to no carb to take off any weight gain. Also, just a few lbs weight gain, including that caused by salt, can make your stomach swollen and your band tight. I find that just a few lbs makes a huge difference. When my weight is down and I'm not eating salt, I don't pb and vice versa. Eva, I am going to Europe in June. The concert was unbelievable. We're doing a number of spirituals for Martin Luther Kings Birthday celebration in South Holland and a couple more concerts before we leave for Europe. Cheri

These are my personal observations about my own weight issues. I have spent years struggling with real and imagined issues with food. I decided to have the lap band surgery after about 4 months of deep and meditative introspection about what my true 'issue' with food was. I had tried everything as many of you have. But when I took a good look at why diets, exercise & food control issues failed for me I realized a lot. One thing that became clear was that I was using food to 'medicate' myself. Every issue, large or small good or bad was medicated with food. I used food in place of dealing with my true issues. Tired, bored, happy or sad I solved the problem with food. It was no wonder I was never full. It was no wonder I was always reaching for something to eat. I would attempt to make healthy choices, I would exercise and I still did not lose weight for all the biological reasons doctors explain about metabolism. But the bottom line was that food was always front and center in my mind. I hated the grocery store like most people hate going to the dentist. I realized at one point that food, for me, was in actuality, an addiction (I speak for myself only, of course). And I realized that this was the worst kind of addiction ever. People can give up alcohol completely and live, they can give up cigarettes & drugs and still live. They can completely remove themselves from temptation of those substances (in extreme cases of course) and function. But food addicts can't. No one ever says, "Oh, I'll just have a little heroin today." But food addicts do. We attempt to restrict the thing that helps get us emotionally and physically through the day. The bad news is that we can never truly escape our addiction to food, after all, we need food to live. The only thing we can do is make vital attempts to undertand our relationship with food, make changes where necessary, & most of all understand ourselves and WHY food is so gosh darn important to us. If we could simply view food as fuel we wouldn't overeat, right? After all, there's no sense in overfilling your fuel tank in your car, is there. But that's not so easily done. Food has a powerful influence in our lives. We Celebrate with it, we suffer through mourning with it, we simply need it to survive. So I had to ask myself, "What the heck are you trying to avoid by numbing yourself with food?" It took a ot of time and listening to things my inner self didn't want to listen to but in the end the answer to that question was...."Everything!" What I lacked in my relationship was covered by my relationship with food. What was lacking physically after a workout was covered by the physical apsects of food. What was lacking in the department of self-love was covered by food. For me food was a cure all. I didn't have to search for answers anywhere else, I didn't have to look for solutions to deep and heavy issues in relationships because food cured those for me. Food, for me, simply made those things go away. Unfortunately the side effects were a catch 22. The food made me feel better in the moment but then almost as soon as I'd eat it I'd start to realize that I did not do myself any favors and of course would feel intrinsically bad and would search for more food to cure the problem...creating a catch 22. For me the answer came one day when i took a good hard look at myself. I realized that I really did love myself but what I was doing with food was inherently NOT loving to myself. I knew then and there that the best way to love myself was to overcome my addiction to food and start solving the little issues of life some other way other than food. But how? I attempted to gain control of my eating. I made health choices, exercised and foced on all foods I put into my body as a gift of love to myself. Food is fuel not medication, I would tell myself. Some days I would do very well, and others I would fail miserably. Days when emotional issues, fatigue, stress or other stressors increased I would feel myself quickly losing control over my new found 'self-love' mantra and back through the drive through I'd go. After many attempts to control increasing hunger after workouts & emotional eating I decided I needed help. I did my research on the lap band and decided that it was the right thing for me. I'm a natural health kinda person so the thought of surgery was not an easy prospspect for me but I knew this was the right thing to do. I did struggle a little with the thought that I SHOULD be able to hand this on my own, after all I did have good in-control days, sometimes. But my weight was getting dangerously high and I knew I had passed my personal point of no return, weight wise. So I chose the surgery. I came to the conculsion that I would probably always have an addiction to food deep down. Just like recovering alcoholics say...you are always recovering. I knew I'd always be recovering from my food addiction but made my peace with the fact that alcoholics get help, drug addicts get help, gamblers get help, why shouldn't people with food addictions get help. The lap band was my addiction help. I knew I'd have to do some work too but I figure that if I could get a little help on the really bad days I just might be able to fight this addiction. It has been a year and two months. I've lost 80 pounds. I struggled with new issues after the band such as exercise. I knew I was supposed to exercise but exercise never worked for me before. I feared failure or even muscle weight gain so I didn't exercise much. Yeah, a new issue to deal with. I feared I spent all that money on the band and it wouldn't work, because after all, nothing else had and this was (for me) an addiction which is all in the head right? But as weight slowly started to come off and I recieved support from friends and family who loved me (but admittedly knew nothing of how hard it is to struggle with food issues) I began to see the light. The band helped me gain control where I was simply ill-equipped to do so previously. Can you fail with a lap band? Probably. Can you sabotage yourself? Probably. Did I want to? Absolutely not. In my mind, this was my last chance and I was going to do whatever it took psychologically & physically to make it work. Even if that meant I'd have to search elsewhere, namely deep in my soul for answers to those daily stressors and emotional issues I avoided and had medicated with food for so long. Do I still crave food when I am angry, hungry, happy or stressed? Not really. Does it cross my mind? Yes, on occasion. Why? Because over the last 14 months the physical attributes of the band and intense personal exploration has helped me develop new habits. I use the band like alcoholics use Antibuse. I know that if I eat more than I should out of compulsion I will get sick and that's not good for me. So over time, I have come to the understanding that my band is there to help keep me in control of eating while I use my mind to solve emotional stressors. Of course I still need to eat, but out of nutrition needs, not emotional needs. I let the band help me get the proper nutrition and use it to assist me in dealing with stressors appropriately. It's sort of my version of 'tough love'. It won't let me have what I want because it knows it's not good for me and forces me to deal with the rest of life the way I should. And the only side effect is that I am losing weight. Recently my band became lose with weight loss & increased exercise. I was hungier than usual, could eat more and I did. I felt like I was a little out of control. I attempted to handle it on my own for a few weeks understanding that at some point in my life the band may not work well anymore and I needed to see how much progress I had made in my emotional journey. The answer to that was...only a little. I didn't feel bad however, after all, I'd spent a lifetime developing my food issues. I didn't expect them to disappear in 1 year. I found myself able to eat larger portions, reveling in it, & in truth thinking "Oh, I bet I could have a Sonic hamburger." In essence, I was having a relapse. I was thinking of all the wonderful things I could have to 'love myself' with. But! the funny thing was, that the food didn't have the same medicating response anymore. Nothing that I ate gave me that sensuous UMMMM! response I thought it would. I didn't have one of those...."Oh my God, I haven't had this in a year and it tastes incredible!" feeling. I simply just ate a little larger portion than ususal and felt kinda bad about it, simply for the fact that I was pretty sure I didn't need that extra portion. So I learned that just because I could eat more, I didn't really need to and in actuality I wasn't getting that response I had expected. And no, I never really did eat a Sonic hamburger. It was at this point I chose to get my band adjusted a little to give myself the assistance I needed. I know I am making progress and my goal is to some day get to the point where I am in control of all food issues band or no band. I think I'm well on my way. I no longer fear the day I may not have use of my band because I have seen progress and I know I will get there. So for those who still struggle with hunger, compulsion to overeat or cravings I feel for you. All I can suggest is that maybe you take a good hard look at what food means to you and how you are using is. Be honest with yourself, I know it's hard. Society doesn't make weight loss or body image easy. After all, simply take a look at your next restaurant portion and you'll see that. Your body probably only needs about a quarter of what is put on your plate to survive nicely. No one can come to these realizations for you. All I know is that I was tired with struggling with my love/hate relationship with food. I was tried of trying to bend food to my will skipping this, substituting that. I wanted my relationship with food to be normal. And I can honestly say that with the help of my lap band I'm as close to normal as I have ever been in 41 years, but still a work in progress. I am slowly making peace with food, using it for what it was intended & loving myself in the process. I used to tell people who said I need to love myself more...."I'll love myself when I'm a size 8 again." I finally realized I was missing their point. Loving who you are, doing things that honor & love the self is a process not a size destination. I am now 185 pounds, 41 years old, a size 12 and if I never lost another pound I honestly think I'd be perfectly happy with myself, physically and emotionally. If you have ever uttered the phrase "I love to eat." or "I just love food." I would highly suggest you take a good hard look at why you made those statements and you'll get some good insight as to your personal issue with food. It may not be like mine but it just might. Thank you for reading my story and I hope you have a wonderful learning experience with or without your band. Sincerely, Samantha Hall

Do NOT give up on yourself. You are not a failure!! You stated you have an anxiety disorder and with surgery approaching, the stress can cause lots of things to happen. Including weight gain. Try to keep your head up high and talk it over with your surgeon, pcp and therapist.

I am not banded yet and i am not pregnant, I have read a ton of the post on here about people getting concerned about gaining weight during pregnancy. I understand that we all have issues with weight gain but you are supposed to gain weight when you are preggers. it's healthy. a ton of weight gain is not healthy but a little is fine. like i said i understand that everyone on this site for the most part has issues with weight gain, my question is why don't people understand that it's normal an healthy for pregnancy, and stop beating yourselfs up over it? I know this might sound come across as rude but its not i promise i am just curious.

UPDATE - I changed my calories. Today is Monday, Saturday and Sunday I ate almost 1200 calories. It was exhausting, I never seemed to stop eating and when you have no hunger or desire to eat, it can get obnoxious pretty quick. However. I weighed myself this morning and ... I'm down a pound and a quarter. This is seriously stunning news. I went 5 weeks with absolutely zero movement on the scale - zero, unless you count constipation weight gain and actual gain when I thought going super low cal (600) was the way to go. I have been stuck at 235 for a month and after 48 hours on higher calorie I lose over a pound? Awesome! Now, I don't know what this means, it could just be reactionary weight loss. It has only been 2 days, I will continue the 1200 for 2 more days and keep exercising and monitor. Now I wonder if I should do a reverse shock - stay at 1200 five days a week, then drop down to 800 two days a week. We'll see. The thing is, when I first went from 600 to 800 calories I had initial success that first week, and then no more. If that happens again, I can't just keep increasing my calories.

I feel the same way! I have already had 2 fills and am going for my third one tomorrow. I am afraid that I actually gained weight since my last fill (I am not certain because my doctor's scale is substantially different than mine). In all honesty, this past month I have been nothing but bad when it comes to eating the right foods and exercising, but I just feel so frustrated with the whole thing. I mean, I was banded on July 9th and, up until like three weeks ago, was eating right, controlling my portions, going to the gym 4 times a week, and I only have a total of 22 pounds gone to show for it. I am almost regretting my decision to get this surgery. At least before, when I dieted I lost some weight, but now I feel that I am at such a plateau and have even gained some of the weight back. I am afraid that my doctor will not give me another fill because of my weight gain which really kind of stinks since I am out of state at school and can't just go to her whenever I want to (she is two hours away). I am also super concerned that I have stretched out my pouch. I don't know if there is a way to check for that or not, but I know that it is possible. Anways, I'm glad that I'm not alone.

A testimonial from the website of the hospital I will be banded..... insipires me whenever I feel like I need a pick-me-up... just wanted to share. I have found that there are certain "stones" that you must claim as your own and use with almost religious zeal to keep the tool of bariatric surgery sharp and effective. I think every person who has this surgery builds their own cairn out of the stones that they discover work best to encourage them. So here are a few of mine. Stone #1—Quiet Reflection This one takes different forms for different people—prayer and meditation, transcendental sauntering, yoga, sitting quietly, being. Take your pick, but this is an important discipline as it keeps the bariatric patient in touch with the one thing that our weight and former dependence on food distanced us from—our feelings. You must think about how you feel, stay aware of how you feel and set your compass each and every day to make all of the choices that keep you feeling good, feeling lean, and feeling in control. Stone #2—Meaningful Movement Do something. For me the compliance to this particular "stone" is profoundly personal and it took me almost four years to figure out that I would exercise far more consistently if I would work out early in the morning versus in the evening when I almost always had a conflict or flagging motivation. Committing to a time that no person or event could challenge and making it virtually impenetrable from interlopers made this one of the most significant assurances for me. If I start with this stone on the cairn—even if it is just a 45 minute energetic walk—everything else seems to fall in place. Put simply, if I even reluctantly walk over and pick up this stone (no matter how heavy) and carry it to my weight loss cairn each morning, I know that I will virtually run and, with little effort, pick up the rest of the stones that day and stack them on the monument of the day's success. Make this stone anything you like—for me it is walking, rowing, dancing, or maybe a touch of light weightlifting that I should actually do more often. Stone #3—Liturgical Vitamin Ceremonies My vitamin consumption has become an almost holy symbol of my intent to honor the body this surgery gave me. I bought a tea box (a wooden box with 12 square compartments) that sits next to my favorite chair. Every morning and night I open it up to behold the vitamin selection that assures my good health. There they all are—the multi vitamin, the Co-Q10, the calcium, the Colace (still needed from time to time). I take vitamins several times a day, and each time I take one, I whisper "I am good to me." Stone #4—The Security of Staples Always, always, always have the staples you need to stay the course for good health. This takes discipline and a list (laminated and always with you). For me, the staples are hard boiled eggs, fat free cottage cheese, Montreal steak spice, Lite Havarti cheese, apples, blueberries, fat-free yogurt, and Crystal Light. These must be in my reach at almost all times or I will most assuredly make the same bad choices that caused my weight gain. Make your own list and carry a small cooler in your car everyday if you must—and I have—so that you have no excuse. Never, never go home without knowing that you have the staples you need there. I do better without too much choice. An important related "stone" to this one was a hard one for me to acknowledge and eventually convince the rest of my family to join me in honoring. I cannot have any food in my house that is not desirable for a weight-loss patient to consume. Once that first year of no appetite passes and hunger makes its inevitable return, the same temptations you once knew will be back. Even though you will feel rotten if you succumb, it is just too tempting. I find the de-temptation of the home environment and replacing it with staples (symbols of on-going health) is critical for me. Any family member frustrated by this strategy can find plenty of excuses to sneak out of the house for a non-healthy treat. Stone #5—Surround Yourself with Stone Masons This has to do with the ongoing support we all need in life to achieve any of the goals we set before us, particularly the goal of good health after weight-loss surgery. For some, this may mean participating in support groups. I have had a mixed reaction to formal groups for bariatric patients. Prior to surgery, I found the groups to be absolutely inspiring with so many stories of success transformation. They were a remarkable source of hope during a time of despair. However, not long after my surgery, I found that most support groups were negative. The participants focused on what wasn't working, what they couldn't eat, or what they didn't like. Since I had been totally prepared for the changes that my surgery was intended to bring, I did not find what I wanted in a group. Look intentionally for a support group that absolutely encourages the excitement (and yes, reality) of a body that has been readjusted completely to bring about a transformation. Yes, our cups may now be literally half full, but our lives and futures are virtually overflowing. Surround yourself with people who see it that way and, do as I did, select your own personal support team. The people on that team are your stone masons who will help you set the stones you choose in place and secure them for life. Stone #6—Celebrate and Play At least once a quarter, take a day to do nothing but celebrate. Keep a list of the things that you always said that you would do when you lost the weight—take a hike, ride a horse, go to a concert, climb a mountain, go sit on the beach and watch a sunset, shop, etc. Write down everything you can imagine and, like a bucket list, do them one by one. Plan these important days, give them to yourself and review the stones in your weight-loss structure. If you can, take the day off on your surgery anniversary and honor your good health. Stone #7—Share the Joy Take some of the new energy of life that is most certainly one of the extraordinary benefits of weight-loss surgery and give it away to somebody who needs it. Do this in whatever way the world calls you to give something back. People carry "weight" in very many ways and I think we end up with an obligation once ours is gone, to help others carry their own or lose it as the case may be. Stone #8—Lighten Up and Face the Facts The reality of my numbers is as follows. The last time I weighed prior to surgery, I was a precious but substantial 327 pounds. I would lose a total of 167 pounds, 18 of which have found their way back. Of course, this predictable weight gain is a fact that strikes sheer terror in the heart of any person who has struggled with weight loss and knows how easy and devious the return of pounds can be. However, using the stone stacking method described here, I have discovered how to maintain my weight within about a two-pound fluctuation over the past year. Put simply, the balance of stones and habits for me that I have in place right now will accommodate maintenance. What I also know is that if I want to be as lean as I have been (which I very much would), I will have to exercise a bit more and trim some additional calories out of my diet to create that outcome. These are facts, not magic and not a failure of the surgery. Just a reminder that I will have to continue to use my stones in different ways everyday for the rest of my life to sharpen the tool of my surgery and create the monument to good health that I want my cairn to be .

I guess it happens everywhere (even here in Italy)... A lady I met a couple of times has been gaining weight since she was approved for surgery. It didn't go well for her and almost ended up in the ER coz she couldn't walk nor breath anymore and now she's fnally on a diet waiting for her surgery. So I guess it's normal, but don't worry: her BMI was much higher (more or less 59), so of course it was different for her and had problems with the sudden weight gain...

How exciting, and how exciting to have the surgery when you are young! When I was your age I was over 200 lbs. and managed to lose over 70 lbs. on my own (low cal diet, lots of exercise). I kept the weight off for a couple of years and then got engaged and then married, and started eating like a "normal person" again, and poof I started gaining weight like crazy. So now it's nearly 20 years later, and I have been back over 200 lbs. for the past 15 years or so, and every year I have told myself "THIS is the year I lose that 100 lbs again!" Every year I tried to lose weight and some years I would lose 20 lbs. But it's a LOT harder to lose weight in your 30s and 40s than in your 20s and I never was able to keep any weight loss off for more than a year. So now I've decided 2011 really IS the year I lose the extra weight, but this time I will have a powerful tool to help me and that is my VSG procedure. I'm so happy for you that you won't have the yo-yo diet & weight gain hell that I've had for 15 years. Yay for you!!!!!

I just read this great article written by Bruce Underwood(WLS brother) in his website. I will post the link below the article so you can explore. Obesity and its Affects on Relationships and Acceptance Obese individuals have multiple and varying insecurities related to their obesity. These may differ depending on the when obesity became an issue, affected their life most, and length of time. Age, rewarding experiences, negative experiences, and humiliations also play major roles on how each person sees themselves and their self confidence. Parental, sibling, friendship, spousal relationships, and other relationships affect an individual prior to and following weight loss surgery. I have not always been obese and have had lived periods of my life with several different areas of acceptance with varying degrees of confidence. These areas include intellectual acceptance, physical acceptance, sexual acceptance, peer acceptance, acceptance of friends, spousal or mate acceptance, and audience acceptance. Each of these areas is affected by an individual’s self confidence and ability to present himself in a positive way. However, acceptance and experience also affect an individual’s confidence level in each of these areas. The more success and acceptance in a particular area, the more confidence an individual has. However, more rejection reduces self confidence, which further reduces acceptance. This circular syndrome becomes exponential in its effect on an individual. Obesity plays a major role in producing this syndrome as prejudice and stereotyping are projected on obese individuals. Individuals that have been obese all of their lives may have few or no successes in a number of areas of acceptance and may tend to naturally gravitate to other areas where they achieve success and acceptance. The fewer the areas of acceptance the lower the self esteem that a person may have. However, the person who has been obese all of their life, probably does not suffer grief from the loss of acceptance areas as some areas have never been explored. For individuals that become obese later in life, grief from the loss in specific area of acceptance is normal. Having experienced varying levels of success in an area of acceptance, the obese individual may long for those areas and may actually suffer greater depression because of the rejection that they now face in those areas. An example of this may be that of a person who once experienced acceptance in physical beauty and was rewarded highly for their beauty. Now obese, she finds herself longing for the physical and emotional acceptance, but receives rejection. This rejection leads to anger, depression and in cases self loathing. Initially there is denial and then anger. Often diet and exercise only exacerbates the problem as dieting attempts fail. Moments of success followed by diet failures drive down the self esteem and cause greater depression. Friends, peers, relatives, and those who once were flirtatious now look around, through or away and she feels much less the person than she once was. The people around her now become part of the problem as they now become the reminder of what she once was. Additionally, family, friends, and others may add to the problem by acting as the food or diet police with the individual. Often judgmental remarks and comments thought to be helpful actually make the person feel less acceptance and further rejected as an equal or peer. The family member, friend or person making the comment is perceived as being on a different level physically and perhaps intellectually. This perception may be with both parties involved or just by one of the parties; obese or other. The person may react over time in several ways: Things related to beauty may not even be attempted as they are reminders of the pain. Photographs and pictures are avoided as it is easier to live with self image from the past. New photographs are only reminders of the failure and are foreign missals that destroy the image within the mind. In addition, the more positive self image from the past actually helps to promote self confidence in other areas of acceptance such as audience and individual acceptance. The person tends to gravitate to areas that make people like them. These may take the form of humor, knowledge, and expertise. Physical activity becomes more difficult as obesity becomes more profound. Areas that require physical activity and physical fit begin to be avoided. Games, amusement parks, dance, taking car or airplane trips, hiking, theaters, etc. are avoided. The individual may begin to live vicariously through their children, family, friends, and peers. This too may become difficult as these people may resent the now “hanger on”. Surgery and Diet makes a difference – WLS and Diet - Stages of Difference, Awareness and Acceptance: 1) Self Notice – You notice a difference in yourself. As you begin to lose weight, you begin to notice the change. You feel physically different and you notice changes in your face and shoulders. You wonder if and when other people are going to say something. 2) Something’s Different – Others begin to notice a difference, but they are not sure what it is. I like your new hair style. Did you color your hair?. Did you use to have a beard? I thought you wore glasses? A few truly observant folks may say... You’ve lost weight... haven’t you? Usually still as a question. 3) Physical Change - Your clothes are baggy and you need a wardrobe change. You feel better and look better. A lot of people realize you are losing weight and say you look great. You and your friends are proud of the results. 4) Significant Difference - There is a significant difference in you appearance and everybody can see it even if it is not spoken. You know it and they know it. You feel better about yourself and have much greater energy and anticipation. You may or may not notice that people are beginning to treat you differently. You like the compliments and the positive feedback. You look great! Wow! What a difference! You are going to just blow away! You begin to think, wow I am looking better. You may find yourself getting out more and taking more chances. Spreading your wings and taking little flights of freedom to see how things work now. Self Confidence increases and you begin looking at the world a little differently. Excitement seems to be ever present. You may find that fear of failure is also increased at this point as you may not fully trust the results of success. Plateaus and periods of static weight loss may cause greater concern. Moods may seem to swing. 5) Identity Crisis – At this point you are very different physically. Your friends, family, and folks you don’t know react differently to you. You may find that the opposite sex respond flirtatiously and jokingly to you. Family, friends, peers, and co-worker relationships seem to change. Some relationships are better, but some are strained. You want more and expect more from others and yourself. You are excited about your new body and look, but may be angered and frustrated by differences in existing relationships. Leveling occurs as people feel threatened by your new look. People may put you down in areas and /or build themselves up as they want to “level” the playing field with you. You probably don’t know exactly where you fit in physically in the world anymore. You may have an exaggerated opinion or an under-exaggerated opinion of where people see your physical attractiveness. “I must look fantastic, because I am getting all this attention and everybody is telling me how good I look”. Or, “I am still fat and people are just saying that I look good to be nice” “He can’t be attracted to me”. This is also a time that poses serious threats to marital relationships. The spouse may feel threatened by the vast changes in your appearance and attractiveness. In addition, the self confidence, energy level, and desire to explore may also pose threats to status quo that once existed in your relationship. Often an obese person has not been happy in a relationship, but has lacked the self confidence and desire to make a change. New energy, attractiveness, self confidence, a desire for improvement, and the inability to discern at what level one fits in socially, may promote a relationship change or a desire to “Upgrade”. This is a time for introspection. Explore your feelings and desires. If you feel angry and frustrated, where are those feeling coming from? Who are those feelings directed towards and why? Seek out people who are honest with you and ask their opinion, but be prepared for their honest criticisms. Validate their criticisms with others that you trust. Be careful to not make rash judgments and changes, but proceed cautiously. It is a time of change, exploration, and hope as you desire to get your life back. There are those people that want to keep you confined. There are those who want to help. There are those who just want to use your energy. There are those that love you regardless of the changes. 6) Self Acknowledgement - This is a time where you begin to see where you fit in to the world as friends, family, peers, and co-workers begin to accept your appearance and changes. You may feel hurt and disappointed at times as the complements and ego boosting flattery begin to dissipate. You may once again feel threatened by the lack of weight loss and the fear of failure as some weight gain may occur. The highs and are not so high, but the lows may tend to make you depressed at times. You still feel good, but may feel less attractive as you receive fewer compliments. Some people that fed off your energy, desire, and newness no longer are as flirtatious and even strangers appear not to pay you as much attention. Life begins to level out and you begin appear “Normal”. 7) Self Acceptance and Self Awareness – At this stage, obesity is of little or no concern to you. You are aware of your size and acceptance of others. You know where you fit in. Some of your insecurities are still there, some have fallen by the wayside, but may have changed. Life has settled down and the normal problems and happiness of life make you aware of your existence. Hopefully, you have grown more beautiful, more emotionally sound, more mentally aware, more spiritually connected, and more wise. Hopefully, the journey has made you more of a person and less of a ghost. The pains that obesity brought you have made you a more empathetic and sympathetic and less judgmental. Understanding and the weathering of your own insecurities have made you strong and compassionate and you now see with clarity the reasons behind your lack of self confidence and you strive to help others to see the beauty that is within each of us. Misconceptions and Naiveté of Sexual Attractiveness - Sex Exploration Obese people often have issues with being accepted by other people, especially physical acceptance. They have often been or become the ugly duckling of society and have gotten use to rejection in the area of physical attractiveness. Often, feeling the rejection of physical attractiveness causes deep seated dependencies and feelings of need. Bottom line, they want to be loved, we want to be pretty and we want to be accepted by other people. Being fat has been a road block that prevented the acceptance from occurring. Physical rejection and lack acceptance is often displayed in parents and siblings. Often, parents and siblings tell a fat child, youth, or adult what they think of their obesity. This can be done out of cruelty, but usually it is done out of concern for the person. However, regardless of the intent, the result is profound in the life of the obese person and can be damaging for a life. In other words, a parent may tell an obese person, “You have gained so much weight... I am so worried about you”. Or they may say, “You have gotten so fat, nobody is going to want to ever be with you”. These types of comments, though they may temporarily encourage a person to lose weight, they also label the over weight person as undesirable and let them know that they are a physical reject to them and to society. Sexual rejection often goes hand in hand with physical rejections and acceptance. Being accepted sexually is often associated with physical acceptance. If a person is accepted sexually, they may feel more pretty, desired, wanted, and loved. Significant weight loss through diet or surgery has a profound affect on a person’s identity. Note that two crucial stages in Weight Loss Differences are the Significant Difference Stage, and the Identity Crisis Stage. In these two critical stages, WLS and Weight Loss people lose their sense of identity. They no longer know how people perceive their physical beauty. This is where Weight Loss people are naive about their sexual attractiveness and may develop Misconceptions of their Sexual Attractiveness. They may have a strong desire to find who is accepting of them now. It is like the person has been a true sexual prisoner of their obesity and has now been released to explore a world full of sexual partners that are accepting of them. As a result, naiveté of sexual attractiveness and their misconceptions of their sexual attractiveness may make Weight Loss Patients vulnerable to marital infidelities, which could endanger monogamous relationships. New energy levels, confidence, self esteem, and the new avenues of accepting sexual partners may create a strong desire for sexual exploration. The Weight Loss person’s sexual prowess is increased and they may find it nearly impossible turn down opportunities of sexual exploration as other people provide the attention that they desire, but lacked for so long. This may come in the form of opposite sex exploration and same sex exploration. The attention that they now receive is addictive. For a loving spouse or significant other, this can be a very frustrating and dangerous time in a relationship. The significant other, out of frustration, may try to control or constrain the Weight Loss patient. However, the attempt to control may actually work to push the Weight Loss person further away. It is a time when great support and communication is needed in the relationship. The significant other may need to provide new opportunities for exploration and provide greater amounts of attention to the weight loss patient. Communication is crucial concerning what is acceptable and what is not acceptable sexual behavior. The weight loss person needs to know they are loved, desired, and wanted. Marital or relationship counseling is strongly suggested during this time. Deeper problems within a relationship may surface as existing problems are magnified with much greater intensity during this time. Weight loss patients during these critical stages are less like accommodating poor or offensive behavior towards them, “I don’t have to put up with this crap and I am not”. Issues that have existed in relationships for long periods of time may come to the forefront. These issues must be addressed. Unfortunately, the spouse or significant other may not understand that the behavior exists or why it has become an issue now. Obesity may have caused the person to “Settle” for acceptance from person that they may think is actually less than desirable or beneath them. The person or people they accepted may have not been the best looking, most kind, most intelligent, most understanding, or may even be abusive. Because of the weight, confidence level, self esteem, and lack of acceptance from more desirable people, They accept the “love” and “settle” for who is available. At the time that they accept this person into our lives, they think they are on the same level or feel that they can’t really do any better because of the “fault” of obesity. Having said all this, I do not mean to imply that everyone goes through these issues or at the intensity mentioned above. However, the weight loss patient and people within the life of the patient need to realize that there are strong emotional and mental issues that a person may go through. Support is crucial and counseling may need to be seriously considered. With such intensely physical changes that take place in the WLS life, mental and emotional issues can be expected as the new person emerges. Try not to make rash judgments and be patient. Areas of Concern: These are areas for which I have thoughts and concerns. I hope to address these soon. If you have other topics in the area of psychology that you would like to see addressed, please let me know. If you want me to place one of the topics listed below at the top of my list, let me know. Thanks You. Energy and Willingness to be in Front of Others Leveling Change in friends Loss of Self Image and Social Position Increase Desire to explore removed barriers Expectations and Unrealistic expectations Self image – I don’t know how to smile for a camera Weight loss and Disappointment Spousal Attractiveness Link to Bruce's website and source of this article: http://www.thinnerse...ationships.html Explore his site I found lots of "goodies" to bookmark.

When I went for my first appointment in September I was at 35.1 and my surgeon cautioned me about losing weight prior to approval. Well, I did pretty well at maintaining right up until my last appointment. I finally started cutting back on calories and lost about 8 pounds. However, since getting my approval and have a surgery date (12/28) I seem to be shoveling food into mouth as if I'll never eat again! It has me a little frighened, because I'm just adding pounds I'll have to lose again at the end of the month---not to mention that my body feels terrible stuffing food in all the time. Has anyone else hadthis problem right before surgery?

It sounds like you are describing cystic acne. That can be a symptom of PCOS. You really should go see an ob/gyn or an endocrinologist and have your hormones checked. Even if it is not PCOS, getting a blood work up is a good thing to see if anything else may be awry. PCOS is an endocrine disorder that affects 5-10% of women in their reproductive years. PCOS stands for poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. It is a not a disease as there is no known cause, but a syndrome (list of symptoms). There is a correlation between insulin resistance and PCOS as well as obesity, however; PCOS can develop in women at any age and weight. PCOS symptoms include weight gain, mainly in the abdomen, cystic acne along the jaw line and chin, absent or irregular menstrual cycles, male pattern hair (chin, chest, back, etc), male pattern baldness, inability to loose weight or looses very slowly no matter what the amount of food or exercise, infertility and miscarriage due to hormonal imbalances usually involving insulin resistance and too many androgens (male hormones) in the body. Many women with PCOS also suffer from depression and skin issues, like eczema, have elevated cholesterol and triglycerides. PCOS cannot be cured, but it can be managed with medications and life style changes. I have PCOS. I developed symptoms at age 16 but was not properly diagnosed until 24. I have been struggling with it and my eating forever. I just got banded on 11/29. I hope with weight loss, some of the symptoms will decrease. Oh, don't try popping cystic acne. They are so deep seated that you will only get minimal release, and it will only inflame them worse; or they won't pop at all without a razor to open it. They can also leave nasty scars. You can try hot cloths on them to relieve the pain and try an over the counter hydrocortisone cream to relieve the inflammation. You may want to consider a dermatologist to see what cleansers and medications that may work for your acne. Good luck.

I am a former LapBand patient. I unfortunately had to have the LapBand removed in February of 2009 because of complications that my surgeon didn't catch early on. Because of the complications (the band slipped, causing an extra pouch above my stomach and severe scarring on my stomach), I cannot get another band put on. I recently heard of the VSG on TV and have been contemplating this surgery. When I had the band removed, I was told my only option was a gastric bypass, but I have not met one person that hasn't had to be re-hospitalized because of severe complications with the bypass - so that just isn't an option for me - scares me a little too much. So, I am wondering if this surgery would be a better fit. Through the different forums I have read throughout this web-site, it does seem like there are a lot of similarities in the side-effects with the 2 surgeries. So, I guess I am wondering if there is anyone out there that also had the LapBand removed and had this surgery done? Or, if anyone that has had this surgery done, can you tell me a little bit about your experience -- how the weight loss has gone, how much you are eating, etc. I have gained 85 of the 120 I lost and it really is depressing. Especially when I try my hardest to eat healthy and exercise. I really want to run with my kids again and have the energy back that I have lost with this weight gain. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and any information you could provide -- that would just wonderful!!!

((((globetrotter))))) Sorry youre going thru this. I know you track your food intake, go back and look if there is something you may have added since your weight gain. I have read someone was tracking everything except coffee creamer and that was the culprit for her. She thought because it wasnt much-she didnt track it daily- but it was enough, when she stopped it, the wt loss started again. Another thought- could it be related to menstration? Just a thought...

Finally, a week after TDAY or Toomuch Day to be known from here out, I'm down almost 2 lbs. I'd say a good 2 cups of what I ate on tday was turkey and ham the last 1 cup was probably the mac n cheese/stuffing/sweet potatoes which is why I was kinda freaked about the weight gain and it probably was so much salt cause I know stuffing and mac n cheese not to mention ham have plenty. @Globetrotter That is my single greatest worry right there. That I willl drop my calories down to 600-800 and my body will ajust to that amount. Then if I go back to say a 2000 calorie diet a couple years from now I'll gain tons of weight. I'm trying to shake mine up a bit. One day have 600-800 and then one day have 1200 so hopefully my body doesn't get too used to having so little. I'm not sure what to tell you there but I feel the same way as you.

Well I stopped losing weight over a month ago, exactly when I incorporated a weights routine into my daily exercise and made my cardio more intense (elliptical instead of tread). On 800 calories not only have I stopped losing weight, but I have gained a pound and a half. I'm devastated. I'm going back to 600 calories for a week to see if it helps. I'm afraid though that eating so little will f*** up my metabolism and BMR in the long run and that this is the real reason why wls-ers end up gaining after they reach goal. I'm afraid that my metabolism will be so screwed up that any deviation from 600 calories will result in weight gain. help me, please.

Hello fellow November bansters. I was banded on November 15th. I have lost 12 lbs. since the surgery, 18 total. I went back to work 8 days after being banded, but it was only for a day and a half because we were off for Thanksgiving. The first two weeks were worse than I thought they would be, in a sense of pain and discomfort. Week 3 (now), I'm feeling no pain. I still have to bend over slowly and cannot sleep on my left side for more than 30 minutes though. I'm on soft/mushy until next week and then I can start on solids. I'm scheduled for my first fill on 12/9/10. So far, I have stayed satisfied with protein shakes and 4 oz. of mushy food. I had my 2 week appointment yesterday and the surgeon said I will start getting hungry soon because the swelling will be gone. He seems to be more agressive with fills to help prevent any weight gain. I'm nervous about having my first fill next Thursday. I hope it all goes smoothly! Good luck to all of you and Congrats on your weight loss so far!

First off Congrats on your pregnancy!! Such wonderful news...I have never been to a midwife so I can't answer that question but I would ask your old midwife if she has a problem seeing you since you have the band. I can't imagine it being a problem, they don't look at being banded high risk (at least my ob didn't). As far as weight gain, my doctor wanted me to gain the same amount of weight a non banded woman would but I never did, I was one of the lucky ones that lost weight. I did not get unfilled during my pregnancy, I ate anything and everything I wanted. Most of the food I ate was veggies, fruits and little snacks here and there. I also drank protein shakes every morning and if for some reason I was running out and couldn't eat I would grab another. My ob was more concerned with me getting enough protein then anything else. I drank a lot of fluids and just relaxed and enjoyed my pregnancy. I don't think you have to get unfilled to have a healthy and happy pregnancy. I think you should do what is best for you, talk to you midwife and come up with a plan that works best for you and the baby. Good luck and keep us updated

The amount of belly fat is a factor, the thickness of the tissue inside the lining of the stomache is factor ... everybody's bodies are different. What matters most is that you have the proper restriction for weight loss. One of the symptoms of needing an unfill is weight gain. Too tight of a fill forces people to eat sliders which you can eat and eat and eat. You definately don't want that! Rest assured, the amount of fluid it takes for you to have restriction doesn't matter ... what matters is PROPER restriction when it comes to weight loss!

I am calling myself a success story...was banded in 12/2009....band slip and removal in 10/2010...I managed to hit goal before my slip (roughly 10 months and 90+ pounds)...at first I was nervous and scared to be without my "friend" but now I feel amazing...amazing because I am still using what I learned with band. Am a success because my surgeon and even my support group expected me to have weight gain...I have not gained a single ounce since my band removal..I have enven lost a few more pounds.. I eat 3 meals a day and have 2 Snacks in between..I dont deny myself anything and dont feel the need to binge...am I an emotional eater...yes...do I over eat now due to stress/emotion..no...instead I invested in a punching bag (works great)..I talk about my feelings and I am dealing with my past pain/abuse. I am greatful to have had the surgery and do not regret having the lapband...I am more greatful to have learned from this journey and to a great husband and family who support and believe in me. So on 12/07/10...I will have my bandiversary....I think I will treat myself to a new pair of size 6 jeans...and maybe even a size 4 with the right stretch (gotta love stretch)...

MsCarla, I was banded at the end of July 2010 and am down 40 lbs. Mine was elective surgery and was out of pocket. I had to lose 55 lbs. I tried everything and nothing worked! I decided, after long consideration that lapband was my answer. When I spoke to my 10 year old son and asked him his opinion, he told me that he loved me just the way I was, but that if I didn't love myself I needed to go through with this. He is way wiser than his years. Being that i am a full-time single mom and we do everything together I felt the need to explain the procedure to him and the implications.My Mother was a much harder obstacle to surpass. Eventually she came around. Besides my son, parents, and a couple of good friends no one else knew about my lap band. I decided I got enough criticism about my weight gain and any changes I make in my life that it was my choice. Everyone wants to know what "diet" I am on and commenting how good I look. I just smile and tell them lots of exercise and eating right. Mind you, these are a lot of people who use to call me fat and ask me if I was pregnant. She who laughs last has the last alugh. I feel wonderful and am nearing my goal and no one needs to know how I got there. Barbie