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Ewww so i started opti-ing up today ...properly this time not like the past two weeks where i was kinda optied kinda not but for real three times a day only thing i have(bar salad)opti-ing which means i am exactly one month from surgery wooo hoo me. Hopefully i can budge some more weight between now and then because the last three weeks i have been up and down and all over 5.5 kgs which is shittin me no end i just want it to go and not drop the breadcrumbs so it can't find its way home this time and can stay lost in the woods forever. Im actually starting to get a little nervous now the surgery dosn't phase me ,i had a c-section last yr under not good circumstances with a dr who did'nt have my weight on record and i went under fitting so i know i can handle the aneastetic....but it's being done in the middle of the school hols which means i'll have all three nutta's home:ohmy: thankfully hubby is taking time off work and my eldest is great help with my youngest and if the c was anything to go by i was up that night and walking around next morning so i should be o.k. Still umming and ahhing over telling people so far only my hubby mum and super nosey unsupportive grandmother know the in-laws think im having a hernia removed from my pregnancy and thats what the kids think aswell Hate opti makes me grind my teeth:blink:

Ewww so i started opti-ing up today ...properly this time not like the past two weeks where i was kinda optied kinda not but for real three times a day only thing i have(bar salad)opti-ing which means i am exactly one month from surgery wooo hoo me. Hopefully i can budge some more weight between now and then because the last three weeks i have been up and down and all over 5.5 kgs which is shittin me no end i just want it to go and not drop the breadcrumbs so it can't find its way home this time and can stay lost in the woods forever. Im actually starting to get a little nervous now the surgery dosn't phase me ,i had a c-section last yr under not good circumstances with a dr who did'nt have my weight on record and i went under fitting so i know i can handle the aneastetic....but it's being done in the middle of the school hols which means i'll have all three nutta's home:ohmy: thankfully hubby is taking time off work and my eldest is great help with my youngest and if the c was anything to go by i was up that night and walking around next morning so i should be o.k. Still umming and ahhing over telling people so far only my hubby mum and super nosey unsupportive grandmother know the in-laws think im having a hernia removed from my pregnancy and thats what the kids think aswell Hate opti makes me grind my teeth:blink:

One of my instructors recently repeated some old wise wisdom to our class: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! That's why (in a nutshell) a lot of us end up going this route. The old way wasn't working. It works for some people and that's great, but the statistics do show that 95% of people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it all. In the end I just didn't have the energy to do it anymore, and I didn't want the toll it would take on my body to keep that up any longer. But, all that said, there are some common reasons that spouses seem unsupportive or even angry over our WLS. The most common one, I think, is that they are scared that something will happen to us in surgery. Others include: afraid you will leave them after you lose weight they have their own weight (or other) problems that they might have to face they enjoyed eating together the way you always have, and don't want that to change they didn't know what to say to be supportive they don't want you to think they didn't love you when you were fat they don't know what will change about your future life together they don't want the surgery to fail and see you disappointed I'm sure there are lots of others, but those are the ones I've seen the most. My husband went through most of them too. Once I got through surgery without any problems, he was great. And he's been extremely supportive, especially since he's seen how my life and my health have improved so much since I've lost weight. There is a lot of insecurity and fear. The only thing to do is talk to him and try to make him see why you are doing this (for yourself and for those you love) and just wait it out. He'll come around when he sees you are healthier and you are still there. It's hard, though. Good luck, keep coming here for support in the meanwhile, and try to help him through this. He's going through the surgery as much as you are, it will affect him almost as much, so just remember that. And if it's something that would benefit him too, later, maybe he'll make that choice when he sees it work for you!

I've only told my DH and 1 good friend so far, and that will probably be it unless I'm really pressed. The 1 good friend I told gave me the same old line you all got: "we could just try this together" blah blah blah. (She is overweight too.) And a few days later flippantly said something like "oh, that's probably how all of those people in LA and Hollywood stay thin, they all get surgery!" I just let that one float on by. She's not really UNsupportive, but sheeesh! My side of the family is spread out all over the country, and we don't really see each other or talk much. My in-laws are close by, and we see them about once a week or so. Not sure how I'll keep it from them, although they are getting forgetful!! :smile: He is a PhD and has to have his nose in everyone in the family's business. She is TOO thin, and frail, and makes negative comments about my dog and cat being fat!! And William Shatner too! Gimme a break!! The next breeze that blows by her will send her sailing off to who knows where! Sorry I'm ranting. I do worry about the day, if it comes, that I have to tell them. I certainly don't want them constantly asking me how I'm doing or watching me like a hawk. If it werent for this forum, I'd be nuts by now. DH is supportive and great, but not a big "talker" so you all are stuck with me here! Thanks everyone

Oh...I see. So the ONLY surgeons using the Realize band are hacks or guys on the take? So you know every surgeon in the Nation? In the world? The Realize has a fantastic success rate. It's been used for years upon years overseas. It's just renamed over here. The Realize band is a complete circular band. So it has creases and that makes it more prone to erosion? You really need to redo your research. My doc is a proctor. He's NOT getting paid by J & J...the other 3 docs in the practice still offer their patients a choice. My doc refuses to offer a choice. The wider band covers a larger surface area of the stomach (PROVEN, by the way) and this has shown to cause less slips, and to REDUCE the instances of band erosion. Weren't they called Swedish bands or something overseas for all those years? They are standing the test of time...they aren't being tossed aside and replaced like the lap bands and Allergen bands are. That is peace of mind for me. So you can degrade the Realize bands around here as much as you want. Your stats and info are bogus and your reasoning is bunk. You can believe what you want and you can run around flailing your arms and screaming about conspiracy theories and buyouts and payoffs all you want...it just makes you look bloody pathetic. If anything, I think you are the one being paid to bash the Realize bands. It really doesn't matter what you say. My surgeon is one of the highest ranked and successful band surgeons in the United States. He's a proctor. I'll trust his knowledge, education, success and expertise over your silly little rant and unsupported "facts" any old day of the week.

We all get different reactions from different people, but typically others opinions are a reflection of themselves. I am of the mindset that I tell anyone who asks. I am the one who has had to live this life on a rollercoaster of weight loss and gain. i am the one who has thought about every bit of food i have ever eaten or didn't eat. i am the one who if it could be done, i would have done it, who wants to be fat? if I could change I would have done it years ago. i have tried it all and it HAS NOT worked. so I am doing something that does work. Until someone walks in my shoes they really shouldn't judge. I am ecstatic about having surgery. I am going to finally get the monkey off my A$$. I know what good meal planning is and i certainly am no stranger to exercise so having a tool that completes the circle for me is just what I need. I don't know about the rest of you but I can eat and not ever really feel full/satisfied. So this is just right for me! If others are unsupportive then so be it, don't judge what you don't understand!!!I will be banded 3/5/08!! I can hardley wait!G2S

I haven't heard yet who I see next. I was told 2 days and it's been 4--but who's counting. I I'm struggling more the longer I go without seeing someone there. I better email the dietician to keep in touch, it really helps. I really identify with your "can I really do it?" I've been trying to do weight watchers for a couple of years, but how many people at those meetings have lost 150 pounds--and kept it off. The answer is NO ONE! The few lifetime members I would meet were often over 200 pounds, meaning they had it off and did NOT keep it off. They have a saying on the wall "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". Well, as far as Weight Watchers is concerned, all I get is temporary weight loss and then rebound, so it's time for something else. I, too, thought I could not eat the way the lapband requires, but I kept reading these postings and thinking about how badly I want to lose the weight, and decided I was willing to make big changes--to get big changes. Yes, even giving up bread. I'm in somewhat of a hurry. I have 2 insurance companies covering me. One is good, and one is the worst they've ever dealt with (my primary, of course) The biggest problem they have is if there is too much time between starting this process and actually having the surgery they try to deny the original claims saying they can't be related because they are too far apart. I thought if I hussle I might keep that from happening. And at my first nurse visit she said "8-12 weeks". That was about 3 weeks ago, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. There are so many things that can cause a delay. I really do expect the psychologist to want to see me again. One concern she had was lack of my husband's support. He's not unsupportive exactly, just sort of neutral. We haven't even talked much about it. I'm sure it all sounded very strange to her for a married couple to not communicate. But we get along better that way. So I'm thinking she might want to see us together. I finally asked him if he would be willing to do that, and he said yes. So while it might take more time, I'm sure I'll get there.

I use a treadmill and recumbent exercise bike due to a back injury. I had surgery on my lumbar spine and so I can't sit unsupported (like a regular exercise bike) and also mini tramps and walkers, ellipticals etc are totally out. Unfortunately I know this by experience :drool: I think I would be totally brain dead if I didn't have music dvd's on. It not only gives me beat to walk to but something to look at! Course a new murder (which I haven't seen before) is good for quieter sessions :tongue2:

I'm assuming you're very young if your mother "feels like a failure" due to your weight. You might want to ask her why she feels this way. I would say get support where you need to get it from. I had wonderful support from one of my friends and I've had a few friends pretty much disown me because of it. I've had the "easy way out" comments, plastic surgery ones, pretty much everything under the sun. Just be ready for some off the wall comments and unsupportive things. I think one of the blessings from this surgery was to see who my real friends really are.

The first doctor I went to became completely unsupportive when his office found out that my UHC policy requires a BMI of 40+. I have a BMI of 37 with two co-morbidities so I know I will eventually be able to get approved. Even my HR department just said "send in a letter of medical necessity and it will go through." So anyway, I'm hoping to find a Dr. whose office staff is ready for a little fight and doesn't panic when things aren't going to go super easy!! I've read good things about Dr. Ferrari on another site, but haven't seen too much about him on here and I have come to really trust/appreciate everyone's opinions on here! Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!

been havin such a hard time with my boss lately. she used to be a friend, but she just never was good to me and i had enough. so for about a yr now i've disstanced myself from her. she's my boss so i have to talk to her, but my jobs pretty free where i can go a few days without having to see or talk to her. she's delusional and still calls me a friend. well, with that being said, she thinks she can put inputs about my decisions on a personal level. i informed her last month that i would be getting lap band in february and will need to take a week off. she then said something so shocking that i wanted to clock her... ..she told me i was going to die from the surgery. now it didnt scare me. but i was shocked that any kind of person would tell someone before surgery that. she then proceeded to call it the "death surgery". i was annoyed, but not scared. she's crazy. and i've never hated somebody so much before in my life. ..then today, she said it to me again, told me i was going to die and she would not be attending my funeral. i just lost it, i let her break me. i burst into tears because of fustration and shock that someone would say these things. i dont know if she just doesnt want me to get it, or she's trying to make me break down. either way..she's really low. now dont get me wrong. im not scared by any means, i know things can go wrong, but im pretty confident and am not worried or scared. my question is, she is a personnel manager, so shes in human resources..now i dont think this is right to talk to people like this being in human resources. is anyone out here in human resources? if so, or if anyone has any knowledge about it, is there something or anything i could do? she needs to know she cant talk to people like that, but i just dont know if theres any rules. any help would be appreciated. and thanks for listening to my rant.

I believe that Hillary would make a fine President. She is an old-timer, is used to the ways of politics and power both through her own election as Senator and through observing her mate's experiences during his time in office, and she is very intelligent. She is also tough in the same way that Margaret Thatcher, Britain's former Prime Minister, was tough. This is a good quality in my opinion. Americans certainly don't need a soccer mom as President, do you? As for why women are so often mistrustful and unsupportive of each other, well, I think I may have found a partial explanation for this. I suspect that some of our behaviour boils down to our genetic hardwiring. It is the females of the species who are at a competitive disadvantage while they are pregnant and throughout that period when they are rearing their young. In primitive times this meant that they were thrown into competition against each other for often rare resources including the genetically superior mates. In modern times this still holds true; we all want rich good-looking healthy men for our mates, eh. And some of us have had the dismal experience of having had our boyfriends stolen by our girlfriends or have done the stealing......

Hi BJean and green, thanks ladies for your nice comments. Like green, I have also been considering a political career. Do you think it's too late for me to throw my hat into the ring for this presidential election? I think I'd fit in well with this year's theme of openmindedness and breaking down barriers. We'd have a white woman, a black man, and me, a fat atheist. I think I'd fit right in. My slogan could be "It's time for change. Anyone have some to spare?" I do find this race to be quite exciting. It's the most interesting one in a long while. And the crop of candidates seems much better than the last few go arounds, at least to my liking. Even some of the Republicans border on the tolerable. While I disagree with most of McCain's positions, I do think he is someone you might be glad to have around when facing a real crisis. For me, though, the choice is between Hillary and Obama. I like Edwards, but I don't think he has a chance. I really do think that one of these two, Hillary or Obama, will be the next president. This is truly an amazing thing to contemplate. If either one is elected, this will represent a profound and fundamental change that will be life-altering for this country, and maybe beyond. In a sense it is too bad that both of these candidates have to be running at the same time. One of them will have to lose, and we will all therefore miss out on the great benefit it would be to see that one elected. Aside from whatever great job they could do as president, just the symbolism of the election of one of these two would be enough to change this country. I think it is that important. For example, it would mean so much to all the women of this country to see Hillary elected. All of a sudden no dream would be too big. I believe we would see glass ceilings come crashing down in every walk of life in a matter of just a few years. I think it would be that profound. I agree with BJean that sometimes women are unsupportive with each other, but I think that part of this may be because spaces at the top for women are so few that there just isn't enough room for a team to get there. It's a solo endeavor. Men can afford to be supportive because, within reason, there's room for everybody at the top in a man's world. Women don't have that luxury. The election of Hillary could go a long way to moving us forward in opportunities for women. However, at some point in an election a person has to make a choice, and for me, I now believe that the best result overall at this time, since both Hillary and Obama can't be elected, is to see Obama win. Can you imagine what it would mean to every black person in America to see Obama elected? One of the things that would make it so powerful is that this would not just be an individual achievement. Martin Luther King has already done everything that needs to be done to demonstrate black individual achievement. The thing that would be different here is that every black person in America would know that Obama was elected in part because a majority of white people voted for him as well. We saw how powerful this was when we learned that Iowa, a relatively conservative state with a 95% white population, voted for Obama. This was so powerful and so healing. If this happened on a national level I think that this would have the effect of encouraging the process of uniting us into one family and healing the past in a way that could hardly be achieved any other way. And I also agree with green that electing Obama would give us the best chance of healing the horrible damage Bush and Cheney did to the standing of the United States in the international community. We need Obama for this reason as much as any other. But, I have a luxury here because if my second choice wins, Hillary, the benefits will be just about as meaningful as far as I'm concerned. So, it's a good year.

I've always been obese. In fact, I don't remember the day I was under 200 lbs. Maybe in elementary school. When I was 16, I begin to date a very skinny and tall guy. We have been together ever since. He is a foot taller than I am and is about ~170 now. In fact, they worried he had some kind of disease because he had trouble gaining weight. But that changed in college with pizza and booze. So he's gained a bit. Throughout our whole relationship, he has been very supportive and told me how gorgeous I am, etc. We moved in together against my Christian faith but financially it was better. Unlike many young couples, we moved into our rooms and slept in them. It seems like he has completely changed. No more compliments. And every time I diet, (I haven't had LB yet) he rolls his eyes or comments against it. When I eat rabbit food and little portions, I swear he has to eat 4x what he normally eats. If I go to the gym, he does nothing but be unsupportive. This hurts me because I want him to be so supportive but lately... he's just a grump. What would you guys do?

Hi everyone, Great thread, Citigirl. My situation was different. I was originally the selfish, jealous one, unsupportive of my husbands decision to get the band. We are both overweight, he has a long list of co-morbidities, and I just have physical problems with my legs and feet. I would go to the gym, work out regularly, and couldn't get enough lost to justify the effort. Very frustrating. He doesn't do exercize, pretty darn sedentary, and doesn't have a steady income (self employed). His medical bills and medication have all been taken care of by me. For years he justified all the medications as a way to not have to lose weight. Saying he'd rather take more meds that give up all the foods he loved, or have to work at losing weight. So when he brought up the subject of going to a foreign country for the surgery, I was floored! Who's going to pay for it? What about me, I need it too. I'm the one that pays the bills, that goes out to work 60 hours a week, that is in pain most days. I was going through a lot of selfish thoughts. After much discussion, and cold shoulder non-discussions, we decided we'd do it together, and what did we need to do to afford the cost. What can we give up that is less important than our future together in good health. So, we leave tomorrow for Mexico, and our surgery is on the 8th. I think eventually my insurance might have authorized the surgery for my husband, but never for me. This way, we are in it together, through the liquid phase, through the pain, through all the good and not so good stuff. But never without love and support for each other. Stay positive, and do it for yourself. You deserve to feel better, and look better too, if that is your desire. Good Luck!

OMG, my heart bleeds for her and her children. For those who don't know, last night she was taken to a hospital for a psych evaluation. It was reported earlier it was time for her ex to take custody of her kids and she wouldn't let them go. (TMZ.com) I never liked her before but after she had kids, and had problems with depression, I really empathized with her. I had gone through some of the same things after I had my children - depression, lack of self worth, unsupportive husband, etc.. The torment she goes through on a daily basis with those leeches following her around is astonishing. I know we could go into her being rich and famous, for her deserving it, loving the attention, etc. etc. but really, none of us really know what has gone on in her relationships, her health, etc. Being followed around is probably the only thing that makes her feel worthy and beautiful nowadays. I reeeally hope she can get some help, some relaxation, some time to reflect, and to get her shit together and go after #1, her kids. I hope she doesn't die like Marilyn or Diana ... :cry

My mother-in-law told me when she met me that she likes "puggy" girls because they tend to be nicer. Mind you, that is when I was a size 12 and first married. After 2 kids and 10 years I grew to a size 20. After, I got the lapband she was very unsupportive like I did something so harmful. I do not care that much what she thinks but it did hurt a little. Maybe she likes me fat to feel more secure about herself?

Hey I don't know you or your husband, but speaking as a husband of a wife who did a gastric bypass and now as a person who has done a lap band, I think I might understand where he's coming from. You see, this morning on the Today Show, they trumpted some success stories of a couple of women who will be featured in the latest People magazine for having lost substantial weight with diet and exercise. It is like the rest of world thinks people who do WLS are weak for going the WLS surgery route. Since I have experience, I would say the opposite. People who use WLS as a tool are just as determined as those that do it with D&E. Maybe people who use WLS are just a bit more desperate compared to those that do D&E. As for the money thing, well, all husbands and concerned about the money thing. Its the way we are, but don't think he is unsupportive. He's just not happy with the pay up front, and I can sympathize with him on that. Especially since he knows how healthcare works. As for using the Internet for support and info, I think all doctors have a problem with the Internet being used by non-doctors. There is bad information on the net, but if you are discerning, the net can be a valuable tool. I don't think doctor's like to be questioned or challenged about their analysis or diagnosis. Good luck with your surgery and I know when you reach your goal, it will be due to your efforts and will power. The band will just be a tool that will help you, just like the exercise equipment you'll use. The band alone will not be the solution. It will take all you have to achieve your goal, but you can do it. Just my 2 cents for what it is worth. All the Best, Danny

Sometimes it's the skinny ones who are unsupportive because they can't understand why we got fat in the first place. Sometimes it's the fat ones who are unsupportive because they feel pressured by our act to do something about themselves now, or maybe because they are now the "fat one" and we aren't, and they don't like it. I had one of my husband's nieces tell me this weekend that she doesn't think my husband and I should have been banded because we "weren't that big." His weight was near 300 on a 5'9" frame, and he has gout and has been on blood pressure medication for 10 years. His mother died of heart disease at age 65 and his father of a heart attack after diabetes at age 69. So go figure. Do what you feel with your family; there is no rule about telling people or not telling them. You don't owe them either way. If you want to share your experience, great. If you know they will give you a lot of grief you don't need, don't. I like to tell people, because if they are receptive I want to share. If they aren't, well, I'm an argumentative bitch who likes to tell them they're wrong! Whatever you decide, just be happy you have the opportunity to turn your life around and start in a new direction.

Hello, I am scheduled for surgery 2/6/08. I am really kind of nervous/scared about afterwards. MY husband is sooo supportive of me and is going has gone to everything with me. I am not telling my family because they are very unsupportive of me. They are all fat too, but, I guess I am the best to make fun of.:think What do I tell them about my weight loss?? Should I tell them down the road?? My husbands family does not know either. I will tell them afterwords. ( my husband is 55 and his family is old school about things like this. but they will be supportive.) Is it hard to deal/accept all the changes?? I am so sorry about the long post. I just have alot of questions. Any and all insight would be swell. Thank you. :help:

Your post really touched me. I'm sorry that your family isn't supportive. I come from a very large family and have chosen not to tell any of them except for my twin sister who has been amazing. My husband and 12 year old son have also been incredible so I'm very fortunate. A few things came to mind while reading your post. I noticed that you're hoping to be banded by March 2008? So the good news it that you still have time. Are there any local colleges? You could check into having a college student (of course after you interview them) help out. You would have to pay but I bet you could get a really good deal. Check to see if the college has an early childhood ed. dept. I was banded on the 26th and stayed overnight. You can ask the surgeon what his/her policy is on that. My recovery was a little rough but not because of pain, mostly from being exhausted. It sounds like your children are old enough to be okay if you have to rest from time to time. Please don't let your unsupportive family get in your way, You deserve this and nothing should stop you! I hope I was helpful! You're in my thoughts and I wish you the very best! Jenn

Hmmm, I have one friend who is remarkable unsupportive. I honestly wish I had never told her about it in the first place. I did not tell too many people, my mom, grandma, husband, and 4 very close friends. With the exception of this one riend everyone has been super about it. I think the unsuportive friend has her own issues and me being 100 pounds overwieght makes it easier for her to feel good about the 50 or so pounds she claims she needs to lose. I dont accept negativity and I look at it as her problem rather than mine. It sucks that I dont want to talk to her too much about it because it iss an exciting journey that Iwant to share with those I am close to. I have not told anyone else in my family because I know they would not understand and I dont feel like explaining and reexpailning and justifying etc over and over again.

Ah, I totally get where you are coming from. It reminds me of this habit my mom has. If you call her on bad behavior, she'll deny it, and argue with you. But then she goes home and thinks about it. If she discovers you are right, she will change the behavior, but it is never brought up again. If you do bring something like this up, you have somehow remembered it wrong and it was never like that. My mom was always supportive of me being banded, but as an example, if she hadn't been, but then became supportive, she would deny ever having been unsupportive, you know? It sounds kind of like the same thing. If I was in your situation, and called my mom on your mom's behavior, she'd say things like "I just didn't know how it worked" or "I thought it was like the bypass" or even "I didn't say that". I wonder if anyone every truly understand their parents, lol

(This is long. Sorry. This break-up just happened on Black Friday, so it's still a fresh wound. And it's very angry and bitter. Just a warning. Heh. Also, the girl he cheated on me with knew of me and was aware of my presence.. so it's not like, "Oh, don't attack her! She's an innocent victim!") Dear Ex-Boyfriend, After the year that I spent in a stressful, draining long-distance relationship with you, all I can say that I know about you is that you're a liar.. and that you're a piece of sh*t. I'm glad that I stumbled upon the baby registries online and discovered that you were sleeping with that hateful, sloppy whore while you were professing your love to me, and that it lead to the daughter you'll be welcoming together as a couple on February 15th. I'm glad that the teller at Bank of America slipped up and asked me if I was her when I went to deposit that $175 for the MacBook you sold me into your acount. As it turned out, you moved out to California in February and never told me. You've been living with her for months and you were still lying to me about how you were in New Jersey. I'm glad that I broke things off with you days before I found the registries and you made me feel like shit by calling me an unsupportive girlfriend and blaming our break up on my temper, especially since I got to call your voice mail and let you know that I knew all about the baby.. for no other reason than to make you aware of the fact that you could no longer blame our failed relationship on me when you were the one f*cking this b*tch, living with her, and having a joint bank account with her. I'm glad that one of your ex-girlfriends stumbled upon my information online and sent me an email, enlightening me on your trail of deception and abuse, including the revelation that you never worked at the NYSE (which means all the excuses about working late and that big promotion in May were BS), that you made up a friend to set her up on a date with after she rejected you, and that you didn't even own a car and you spent all your time hanging out at the Menlo Mall like a loser. She and I have spent hours chatting about you and the things I know now are astonishing. I'm glad that I only had to spend one weekend with you during our entire relationship and because of it, there was only that 5 minutes of sex in which you were barely bringing any game, much less your A game. That's made it much easier on me because I don't have to mourn the end of closeness/intimacy (since there never was any) and I'm not missing out on any fireworks in the bedroom (because there's more chemistry between me and my underwear than there was between us). I'm also glad that I didn't burn bridges with the guy I dated before you, even though you insisted on me doing so, because to this day he's been more of a man and more of a friend to me than you ever were. I told him all about what happened between us and he reminded me that in the beginning of my relationship with you, he warned me that you were a douche. I wish I had listened. Most importantly, I'm glad that I saved this picture so I could post it on all of the social networking sites where you frequent, including message boards and chat rooms, just to inform everyone that they are in the presence of a player.. a player with a nicer rack than the broad he knocked up. Have a nice life lying to your daughter's mother and trying to pretend to be "Father of the Year" when deep down, you and I both know that you're no better than your disgusting pig of a father who cheated on your mother and supposedly destroyed your family. Looks like history repeats itself, huh? Have fun explaining it to your little girl, Joy Kathleen, when the time comes. I'm sure she'll be proud to have a father like you who was f*cking around with her mother while he was in a serious relationship with a girl on the other side of the country. Drop dead and I hope your d*ck becomes infested with a flesh eating bacteria that renders you sterile and unable to curse the world with anymore of your spawn and gives you the anatomy of a Ken doll. -The girl formerly known as your "Punkin" who just wants you humiliated to make up for the year of my life wasted on you PS - I'll just assume that the $175 that you stole from me went towards a gift for the baby. Glad I could help you two out. Too bad distance prevents me from doing a real favor and beating both of your skulls in with a baseball bat to render you better people and role models for your child (even in vegetative stages!) than general consciousness and your collective upbringings have made you thus far.

I think you just described exactly what I am going thru today. I haven't been handed yet. The whole "deciding" to have surgery instead of "having to" have surgery (like for my cesearean when there was no advance notice). I think that is what I am struggling with, even though I've been fighting my weight for 9 years and over the years I've had chest pains, back pain, etc not to mention a family history with everything you can imagine that obesity can contribute to. I know I need to do something about my weight and what I've done in the past hasn't lasted longer than a few months at a time. But still, I am having the cold feet thing today although I'm 3 weeks out - probably due to talking to an unsupportive friend just a few minutes ago!