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Momto6ix... I agree with most other posters who have responded to this thread, and I can appreciate the frustration on both sides of the issue. For people who don't struggle with weight, it is very hard to "get" what a struggle this is for someone who does. It sounds like both you and your husband could benefit from some therapy...both individual as well as couples...for him, it is critical to the self-discovery process that will help him understand the reasons he has medicated with food and work to employ new emotional habits along with the physical changes that surgery requires. For you, it might uncover some surprising ways in which your beliefs and actions could have been contributing factors, and without identifying those, could serve to drive a wedge between you and your husband While it might seem like an extreme comparison, replace "food" with "alcohol" as the thing your husband struggles with...my guess is that you more readily accept the concept that, for some people, they can't just have 1 or 2 drinks in the way that you and I do...both alcohol and food trigger feel-good receptors in the brain, and release natural opiates that make you want to come back for more. For some complex reasons not yet fully understood, some people appear to be more susceptible to the effects than others.

As everyone says every doctor is different. Mine says never to drink alcohol again. His partner in practice says wait a year then only drink red wine 1-2oz a month. I drank often before surgery (2-3 drinks fridays and Saturdays ) and had to stop a month before surgery. So far it's been 2 months since I've had a drink and I don't miss it. But the social component of it makes it hard not to crave a drink. HW 283. SW265. SD 3/22/13! CW 247

I was putting together my preop and postop plan to get myself in peak condition for surgery and I thought that some of you may be interested in what you can do to help yourself heal after surgery. I am a nurse, a lot of this I have learned over the years from managing surgical patients and from doctors. I hope that maybe some of information below will help someone recover from surgery faster and heal better. If you have any chronic illnesses or diseases be sure to speak to your doctor, in other words, don't solely take my word. ------------------------------------ Building up your Protein levels so you are in peak health for surgery is the #1 thing you can do for yourself since it is protein that facilitates healing of the stomach staple line. If your blood levels of protein and albumin is low your chances of suffering from delayed healing is greatly increased. I have started drinking 2 Protein shakes a day as a way to increase my protein stores and as a way to start getting used to the shakes so it is not such a shock mentally once that is all I am eating. PREPARING FOR SURGERY; Everything you would expect your MD to have told you. Now until 2 weeks from surgery; Below will prepare your body for surgery 1) Increase protein intake to at least 1 gram per kilogram of body weight. For my weight (260lbs) I SHOULD eat at least 120 gr of protein daily. 2) Take Omega 3's daily - Among Other Things (AOT) it will help your hair postop 3) Take Multivitamin daily 4) Take Vit C daily - AOT it helps healing 5) Take Zinc daily - AOT it helps healing 6) Take amino acids, L-Glutamine and L-arginine - AOT it helps healing 7) Take Coenzyme C-10 - AOT it helps healing 8) Take probiotic - prepares your gut for the change to liquids and possible antibiotics postop 9) Drink at least 1 ounce of Water per Kilogram of body weight daily. At least 10 days before surgery you MUST STOP below things; Causes bleeding or interacts with anesthesia 1) Stop Vitamin E, K, C and B including your daily multivitamin and all other herbals 2) Stop Fish oils, aka, omega 3's 3) Stop drinking green tea, alcohol, caffeine, aspartame (equal) 4) Stop eating cayenne pepper, ginger, flax seed, tomatoes, potatoes and eggplant, sugar, fried foods, transfats and MSG, fatty fish such as salmon 5) Stop Aspirin and NSAID's ONLY take the 5 things listed below from 10 days up to the day before surgery; 1) Zinc 2) amino acids (L-Glutamine and L-arginine) 3) Coenzyme Q-10 4) Probiotics 5) Prescription medications okayed by your surgeon Postop Day 3; RESTART everything below as okayed by your doctor; 1) Restart everything that you stopped 10 days before surgery 2) Keep your protein as high as you can; try for 1mg/kg (this helps healing and minimizes hair loss)

I am almost 7 weeks and was told to wait 8.. I had a Malibu rum and crystal light orange (light on the flavoring.) I had no problems and did not even get a buzz. I had in large glass. Malibu is a lower alcohol content...I had one more..drank half but felt nothing... I am an ex bartender and beer drinker...a shot now and then...I could handle my alcohol pre sleeve though. In bar business 19 years..working two jobs...loved the money! If I couldn't or can't in future then I would not drink since I hate drunk girls falling down..lol. Everyone is different so it is hard to say. I am going to miss hot summer days and cold beers but not the calories.

Has everyone completely cut out alcohol?

Well I had a single glass of wine yesterday since my last fill and was instantly very drunk! Been ill all day today with nausea and not being ale to keep any food down at all. So that's the end of alcohol for me !

How long before I can have an alcoholic drink? Im 5 1/2 weeks out. I just want to taste a margarita!!

My name is Kendi and I definitely have an addictive personality. I am addicted to food and have to watch my alcohol intake. I could easily choose to go down the wrong paths, but instead I work at staying vigilant & supplement my addictive tendencies with healthier options. By that I mean that when I sense that my emotions are in a place where I could easily cave into my addictions, I have to consciously choose to replace my addictive behaviors with healthier activities. {Alas I have not reached the place of love & devotion to exercise as some of you have (I still have to FORCE myself to exercise Every da@n day)}, but I have learned to supplement my unhealthy desires into more positive activities like reading a book, doing some sort of art / creative work, sewing, etc. The latter activities help me unwind without harmful consequences (of course with the exception of possibly creating UGLY fashion but that's a different issue)... in reality, I am waiting for the day that I don't have to feel the struggle. I wish my brain would automatically choose healthy behaviors vs. addictive ones. I dislike feeling like I have to fight myself in order to overcome my automatic & initial tendencies... I guess what I am wondering is when do our new habits become the permanent lifestyle change we are all working towards?

It is nasty for sure at first. However, what I did was I added more water and organic pinapple juice. You can add apple juice too, but they say it's best if you add pinapple something about the enzymes. As far as the protein powder, it would probablly cover the taste, I've never tried it. Zija sells a Moringa protein power in chocolate and vanilla too, but I've never had them. The trick is that you have to suck it up and drink it even if it's little by little to build up and eventually you'll like it. My kids hated it and my husband was like, can I mix it with alcohol to kill the taste...lol but they all love it now.

Hi! All docs and nutritionists have different plans. My doc's papers say to avoid alcohol for a whole year but I think that's from 'empty calories' point of view. Though lots of ppl on here drink wine few months post. If you were sleeved just last month, I personally feel its too soon.best to ask your doc

I've done quite a bit of personal research on the topic. That doesn't make me a Puritan. That makes me informed. But you are correct in that you do not have to be in ketosis to lose weight. However, regular consumption of alcohol will have an impact.

I really like your new photo, Lissa! Good morning from Brisbane where it has been pouring rain since the middle of the night. A perfect lazy Saturday I've been sitting out on the deck, reading and enjoying my coffee. Still limiting myself to one black coffee a day and no carbonated beverages. I have to say I have had a tougher time with alcohol. I'd like to limit myself to one a week but I think this week I had three glasses of wine and a half shot of cognac (not all at once). Only one drink per day so I guess that is something. LOL I saw my therapist again and we talked more about how I feel about the surgery. I told her that I felt awkward knowing she did not completely approve, and that it made me realize that I consider her an authority figure a bit. We talked about boundaries and how I am in charge of all my choices and nobody else (not her or my husband or anyone) gets to have a say, at least not as much of a say as mine. This is something I have struggled with, with my parents, partners, doctors, friends. I think lots of fat people get used to everyone having an opinion and feeling like the external opinions mean more than your own opinion. It is because society seems to think its ok to comment on fat people's appearance (and really, women's appearances in general). My therapist supports me and my choices and even if she didn't, I need to work toward the place where it doesn't matter to me, except simply as information. I just wanted to share that because I am sure some of you can relate. I am sure some of you have been driven to tears or anger because of other people's opinions. I know that parents, partners, friends, and doctors have wounded me and made me cry because of things they said about my body.

So true Chris R. Alcoholics and drug addicts can avoid people who use those substances, but everyone EATS! Not to mention there is a fast food restaurant on every corner. Multiple food commercials on every channel, every hour. Such a difficult challenge. I am glad there is now scientific proof that certain foods are just as addictive as heroin!

You know what? I had those exact same worries during my preop and directly after my sleeve...Those thoughts exactly.....every social thing EVERYTHING is centered around food! I though to myself that I would never be able to partake in anything social again! I had forgotten about those thoughts until you had brought them up! lol I have gone to many social gatherings in the last year....the first one was about 6 weeks out....I just pushed a bit of food around on my plate....but I really did connect with everyone there! I have actuallly become more social now because I feel more comfortable in those settings. My relationships with family and friends have improved because it is not about the food anymore, it is about the people. When I go to social gatherings, I eat some kind of protien...fish or some other piece of meat and then I also have tastes of things that are really good. I dont care too much for sweets anymore, I dont feel good afterwards.. As for alcohol, I used to drink a few times a week especially duriing the summer, party party party, now I dont really care to.. of course summer is coming again and I am sure I will drink more. These issues didnt become the big thing I thought they would. I just roll with it and do my best. If I want to continue to lose, I have to make the right choices. sometimes I focus on having a good week instead of a good day. Hopefully this will happen for your husband too. I hope you and he do well with this, it is hard and I know you want to support him...and I think there should be more support for family....kinda like al-anon. cuz yeah, how do you know what to say or not to say??? Good luck!

Don't beat yourself up, choose to be strong. It is just your body trying to "recover" itself. It is sooo important to keep the weight off for that year after you level out until your body creates a new set point weight. (It's new normal) We have a Dr. that comes to our support group who has spent his life dealing with the medicine of obesity. He told us how they are now using functional MRI's to prove that certain foods, even just the smell, triggers the same neuro-pathways as heroin. They are just as addictive. Unfortunately, just like in drug addicts or alcoholics, even a taste of sugar or fat, even the smell of one of those old unfriendly foods, can make your body remember all those "good times" and trigger your food addiction. The best way to get off of it, is to go back on your week 1 post surgery diet. Protein and water only for 2 weeks. You will lower your blood sugar levels and detox your body. This will quash those cravings again. You did it once, you can do it again. Then Stay Away from the crap food. You worked too hard to go back there!! Good luck!

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, Lela. Days like that are super hard, and it makes it extra hard to stay on track. Good for you for not giving in on the chai, every little bit helps. I know for me, a little cheat here a little there, and before I know it I've totally fallen off the wagon. Sometimes it's easier if I don't have any cheats at all. I imagine it has to be a little bit like a recovering alcoholic not being able to have drinks in moderation... I'm keeping my band on the DL too. The first time around, I was really public with it, then I crashed and burned. My friends may or may not judge me, but this way I don't feel like people are watching me and waiting for me to slip up. Aside from my housemates and a few close friends, I'm keeping it to myself. I'm having a hard time getting in enough water too, but I'm working on it. I just started tracking my food again yesterday. I got lazy about it and I think that's part of why my weight loss has slowed in the last ten days. I'm trying to stay at around 1200 calories, which I can do just fine as long as I'm tracking, otherwise it's easy to think I'm in a good place for the day, and I'm at 1500.

hi all, been awhile since I checked in. Rick is not my husband, but only because I get alimony for another couple years and we're both willing to still get that. i know that sounds mean, or callous, but it's a joint decision on our part. the downside of that was MY insurance woulda paid for this years ago, whereas his ins doesn't. period. we used money from an IRA to pay for this. at our age tho, people always just assume we're married. lol we're used to it. in a way, i'm glad things went this way, because he mentioned last night he's way happier with this then he would have been with the lapband, something he tried for years ago. so it all worked out. we purchased a home together and plan our retirement together, and even tho I was frustrated every time he's quit on a diet, the main thing that Kimmie posted was "the choice to quit is taken away from us" maybe that's the most important thing. his stall has slowly stopped, but he lost inches anyway, and went down to a 48 pants from a 50, without losing weight. i think that when he saw that, he was encouraged because he just seemed to come out of a funk way faster. that, combined with being un able to quit, is huge for him. I think he would have succeeded on any diet, if only he would have just stayed on the diet. now, as kimmie said, he's got no other choice. amazing. when I've mentioned frustrations with him, those are a buildup of the past 8 yrs worth. when I met him, he was not this overweight. just a normal amount if that makes any sense. In fact, I gained weight after meeting him too, he's an excellent cook and we enjoyed that alot. we went on atkins together on his urging and I lost the weight but he quit. before his surgery date, he went on what he called a "world wide tour of eating" wanting to eat out every friday & saturday night. he wanted to go drinking with his buddies, go to all his favorite restaurants. I finally had to start saying no, because like I told him, YOU"RE having this surgery, not I and I can't keep eating like this. we're bikers, and yeah, drinking kinda goes with that. that's why I mentioned the alcohol. but in his group of maybe 15 guys that bike, he's the only one who's overweight, I never understood that. he does have a desk job, and on weekends he loves to hang out in his recliner all day. with this surgery, I have seen changes. he went back to seriously watching carbs. he's walking at work at lunchtime. we play pool alot, we had just refinished the basement. he misses the drinking. we didn't go out to eat alot anyways, that was mostly for special things. or when we were on the bike. so I'm sure I don't "miss my food buddy". He ate out every day at lunch cuz he just wasn't the type to take food to work, I live close to my job and come home for lunch. but now, he takes food. whoever mentioned they thought their husband missed her as a food buddy, but then said, he's never complained saved money etc; he probably didn't complain because he didn't think of you as a food buddy, just as I don't think of rick as one. but family gatherings are still going to happen, grandkids will get baptized, weddings will happen, these things focus on food, hey, I DIDN"T MAKE IT THAT WAY, and we will still have to do these things, and rick will have to join us. On Easier, we do the egg hunt outside for the 9 grandchildren who live nearby. that went on. it's tradition. I don't think of rick as a food buddy, but he's my partner in this world, and this world isn't going to change to accomodate this surgery. he decided now to join his friends at work for this broadway show, and I'm happy about that. food is a part of our society, and when you choose this surgery, you still have to find a way in that society, cuz it's doesn't stop because you did this. i'm sorry if that's blunt but it's the truth. I'm glad that rick has decided to now go and enjoy the show, because that shows ME that he's willing to continue to do things, even tho he can't eat. missing a food buddy is a silly way to explain it, because the social world revolves around social gatherings and gatherings have food. when you go to a food gathering, have you ever looked around? have you ever asked yourself why, out of dozens of people, you'll see just a few who are extremely obese and most are not? somehow, people ARE making it in a world where a focus is food. are they exercising like nuts? or born that way? who knows. they are making it tho, and to expect things to now change because some have chosen surgery, well, it's just unrealistic. it isn't just fat people who go to gatherings that involve food, it's all people. but only some end up obese. it's important to both of us, that he finds his way in a world when things revolve around food. I believe he can and will. as far as the exercise bike, the main reason I was surprised is because the dr gave him the clearance for riding the motorcycle the same time for riding the exercise bike. the harley weighs about 850 lbs, and he sits on it to move it backwards to get it out of the garage. THAT on his abdomen/stomach muscles is way different then sitting on an exercise bike. last night he said to me, we need a new vacuum. I'm looking on ebay. I was surprised, I said , we have a vacuum? this was his reasoning: we have hardwood floors, but NOW have a finished basement that is carpeted. so I keep the vacuum downstairs now in the closet. he cuts his hair with a Flobee, if any of you have heard of that, it hooks up to a vacuum. so he wanted to buy a vacuum to keep upstairs. yes, I vetoed that. I said honey, you cut your hair once a month. go downstairs to get it, bring it up cut your hair and bring it back downstairs. think of it as burning calories. so he said yeah, ok. vacuums are way expensive, to purchase one to cut your hair once a month, because you don't want to walk downstairs to get the one we have, well, things like that are what put weight on you. as for his birthday? it's always been a surprise. that part was important to me. knowing him as I do, that a surprise party would thrill him. he will be able to eat regular food by then, has anyone any suggestions on what types of food. I was going to cater it, I planned on going to work at my normal 530 am; then finding a place to hang until he leaves for work at 8; then going home to set this up. I've been planning it for 3 yrs, since we moved in. the only glitch is this surgery and food. trust me, I don't want to go back to presurgery, but, as I said, life goes on. when one throws a huge party, food is involved. I do think he won't really care about food so much, he'll just totally enjoy being the guest of honor. the party goes on, I know he'll love it. he'll be 9 weeks post surgery. (the date has been planned for the 3 yrs too, to throw him off). can anyone suggest foods for this stage? perhaps recipes or things that you have learned you can enjoy. I'm not trying to make food that he can think, wow yay lotsa of food. rather i'm trying to think of what to make that will work all around. something easy for him to eat, that will be healthy for him. what do i know? usually we do burgers, dogs, wings, salads, a Pasta dish.etc. I have a good 50+ people planned, I gotta feed them. Like I said, you go to a party, food is there. but I want something that he can think, ok good, I can eat that, be healthy, now, relax and enjoy my party. theresa ps. tho one day I would like to know why, if hunger is eliminated, do I see posts of those couple years out who are regaining weight, have stretched out their sleeve, etc. obviously you can, and do stretch out the sleeve too, I've seen that Frisco guy's posts. many posts seem to contradict many of the points made by Kimmie

it sounds crazy but my sister that is an RN gave me this tip and it worked. Plan old alcohol on a cotton ball.

I always thought that I was not addicted to food.. One reason I still think so.. is because.. after having the sleeve.. I dont really miss food.. all I really miss is chuging water.. food.. not really! I go out with friends to buffet lunches and I expect to feel depressed or something.. but don't.. But the scale has a different story to tell.. I have no linking for carbonated drinks before.. do not drink alcohol...don't smoke.. even without the sleeve.. I was eating less than 800 calories a day.. that low calories was partly because I worked/studied for atleast 16 hours a day.. and did not care much about eating when I was working.. lunch was my only meal.. and slept for less than 4 hours each night.. But.. then came the weekends.. and I would eat.. breakfast.. lunch.. and dinner.. well under 2000 cals.. but more than twice of what i used to eat the rest of the week.. umm.. and I wondered why I was gaining weight! all I am eating is a salad for lunch each day! I screwed up my metabolism.. thats' why! Just before I had the surgery.. I took a new job.. and don't work for more than 8 hours a day.. I sleep for atleast 7 hours each night.. (havent been able to do that for the last 11 years..) I actually get in more calories now after the sleeve..but not sweked towards the weekends.. So..honestly..now.. I dont know if I am addicted to food.. am I?

To be honest I use to be the girl who put up with everything. Now I could careless what you think. I want a life calm and peaceful. I actually cut ties with my moms sister in January bc she's 1) a alcoholic and 2) got pissed I tracked down my mothers organ recipients then had the largest newspaper back home do a story on her. She wrote me on fb first and I called her up and called her out. I don't care what people think of me. You need to do what's going to be condusive for you. Drama causes problems health, emotional etc. Your body is already going through enough. I can't tell u the decision to make but you need to weigh it down to what's the best for YOU not THEM. Good luck and hang in.

Thank you to everyone who posted comments and shared their experiences. I have a better insight now and I really think that a 0 tolerance to alcohol while I heal is definitely the way to go! Thank peeps!

I know it's taboo but is it true that you get very sensitive with regards to alcohol? I'm not a huge drinker but every once in a great while I like a glass or three of some nice Tullamore Dew. Someone told me that now a shot would do me in. Any truths to this?

I have a lapband. The adjustments never bothered me, it was that I was STILL hungry all the time. No matter what, I would eat and still be hungry because I could only eat very little and my "lower" pouch was still empty. I originally had it done for 2 reasons my BMI wasn't that high and I liked it was reversible. I never met my goal weight, was ALWAYS hungry even after I ate, but instead of being able to eat I would throw up and slime everything. I basically turned to soft foods (high calorie crap) and alcohol. I've been uncomfortable for years now and am getting a revision. Finally. I can't wait to get the lapband out of me. After working in Bariatrics for 6+ years I can honestly say the Sleeve is the best choice out there for me. The lapband works for some but most surgeons want to phase it out.

Nope my Tricare Reserve requires my dr to write letter stating I've tried to diet on own and I am tobacco and alcohol free... then I had 2 shrink evals and nutritionist apt... all the pre op test at hospital. .. so ekg, upper gi, ultrasound ..etc...once ppwk was sent to tricare it was approved in about 8 days... Covered surgery 100% ...office visits I pay a $150 copay but only till I hit my deductable...

My advice is to avoid alcohol 100% for at least the first 6 months and frankly until you get to goal. After that, proceed with caution. Addiction transference is the real deal. You are all saying "that couldn't happen to me" - well - I know someone that basically DIED 4 years after her gastric bypass as a result of becoming an alcoholic. Something changes ... alcohol CAN be different post sleeve. I do socially drink but notice that i like booze more then I used to. I hardly used to have a sip of alcohol at all, like maybe a few times a year, but on a recent business trip, i shared in the bottle of wine at the dinner table every single night - sure just one glass of red but I wouldn't have done that before - and I can't explain why it is now more appealing to me. So, I still allow myself to drink socially as long as is after food, but i am quite diligent. I had an experience that shocked the crap out of me. I poured myself a drink on a "friday" about 730 or so something I never would have done before. My hubs came home at 9 and said I was sound asleep (and i am normally a light sleeper). I had forgotten to eat so consumed that drink after having gone without food for 6-7 hours and I theorize I basically crawled into bed and passed out. So there you go, that is how people start substituting alcohol for food. I will NEVER do that again, and I am sharing my story as a word of caution - there is something different about alcohol post WLS Oh, and now I am a month from plastic surgery and so am drinking zero alcohol just to be safe. I am going to be ramping down my main addiction - coffee - just like I did before the sleeve. I am really dreading giving up my beloved caffiene.