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Sooner or later you'll find yourself in a situation where you have little or no control over the food served. That doesn't mean you have to abandon all your band eating skills or go hungry. The key is to have plans, even for unpredictable situations. Social eating poses all kinds of challenges to the bariatric post-op. How to resist the dessert cart? How to refuse an extra helping of potatoes that Mom mashed especially for you (with just a little gravy)? How to chat with nine people and still concentrate on taking tiny bites? One recommendation applies to all social eating situations: do not experiment with new foods. You don't know how well they'll go down and you don't want to disgrace yourself in public. This has been a challenge for me because I love to try new foods, especially when I travel, but taking food risks in public is just not worth the potential pain and embarrassment. How easily you can pull off social eating will depend in part on whether your hosts or fellow guests know about your weight loss surgery (a topic worthy of an article of its own, so stay tuned). Sometimes I think my new eating habits are harder on my friends than they are on me. For example, a few months ago I went out to lunch with a group of women, including a friend (we'll call her Kathy) who knew me when I was fat and knows I had weight loss surgery. This was not the first time I had dined with Kathy since my surgery, so I was a bit surprised to realize that she was studying me as I ate. "Is there a problem?" I said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't stare," she answered, "But I just can't get over the way you eat now." "Isn't it great?" I said with hearty enthusiasm. "Um, yeah, I guess so." There was an awkward pause. Then she rallied and said, "So how many dogs did you say you have now?" I have survived many post-op social eating occasions with acquaintances who don't know about my weight loss surgery (and I'd rather keep it that way). Most of them keep their opinions about my eating (if they even notice it) to themselves. Sometimes they ask, "Don't you like the food?" (I answer honestly, yes or no), or "Are you diabetic?" (yes), or "Are you allergic to nuts? (no). Sometimes I have to use Kathy's change-the-subject method of getting out of an awkward moment (asking the hostess for the recipe, or a portion of dessert to take home, works well as both a compliment and a distraction). Advance planning is crucial for successful social eating. Try to find out what will be served and decide what you'll eat. Eat something before you leave home, because the old advice to save your calories for the party is risky business for a post-op. Imagine how irresistible the buffet table is going to look if you haven't eaten for 10 hours. You're not just risking extra calories at that point - you're risking a stuck episode, a productive burp (regurgitation), or sliming - because you're too hungry to eat carefully. If at all possible, bring some food that you can eat and share with the other guests (tell the host or hostess you're going to do this or it might get whisked away and stashed in the refrigerator). If you know alcohol is going to be served, bring a pitcher of a non-alcoholic beverage you like and announce that you thought everybody might like to try your special punch or fruit tea or whatever it is. Stand-up can be easier than sit-down affairs because everyone is busy balancing a plate, cutlery, beverage and conversation and it's easier to sneak off and ditch the food without being seen. At sit-down meals, I'll grab my plate and a neighbor's (making sure it's empty first, of course) and head for the kitchen saying, "Do let me help clear the table" or "Can I get you anything while I'm up?" (that's hard to pull off in a restaurant, though). Speaking of stand-up affairs, finger food is a terrible idea for bandsters. Human teeth are just not designed to take a small enough bite of anything solid enough to be held in the fingers, so proceed with caution. Whether you're standing up or sitting down, cutting up your food into tiny pieces and occasionally moving it around your plate with your fork are good ways to camouflage your spare post-op eating style. And one last piece of advice: please do not give your uneaten food to your host's dog (or cat, or potted plant), no matter how hungry the dog claims he is. You have no way of knowing if the food is even safe for the dog. My dogs are four-legged garbage cans, and they have even worse judgment about food than I do!

How can you socialize and stick to your food plan? Sooner or later you'll find yourself in a situation where you have little or no control over the food served. That doesn't mean you have to abandon all your band eating skills or go hungry. The key is to have plans, even for unpredictable situations. Social eating poses all kinds of challenges to the bariatric post-op. How to resist the dessert cart? How to refuse an extra helping of potatoes that Mom mashed especially for you (with just a little gravy)? How to chat with nine people and still concentrate on taking tiny bites? One recommendation applies to all social eating situations: do not experiment with new foods. You don't know how well they'll go down and you don't want to disgrace yourself in public. This has been a challenge for me because I love to try new foods, especially when I travel, but taking food risks in public is just not worth the potential pain and embarrassment. How easily you can pull off social eating will depend in part on whether your hosts or fellow guests know about your weight loss surgery (a topic worthy of an article of its own, so stay tuned). Sometimes I think my new eating habits are harder on my friends than they are on me. For example, a few months ago I went out to lunch with a group of women, including a friend (we'll call her Kathy) who knew me when I was fat and knows I had weight loss surgery. This was not the first time I had dined with Kathy since my surgery, so I was a bit surprised to realize that she was studying me as I ate. "Is there a problem?" I said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't stare," she answered, "But I just can't get over the way you eat now." "Isn't it great?" I said with hearty enthusiasm. "Um, yeah, I guess so." There was an awkward pause. Then she rallied and said, "So how many dogs did you say you have now?" I have survived many post-op social eating occasions with acquaintances who don't know about my weight loss surgery (and I'd rather keep it that way). Most of them keep their opinions about my eating (if they even notice it) to themselves. Sometimes they ask, "Don't you like the food?" (I answer honestly, yes or no), or "Are you diabetic?" (yes), or "Are you allergic to nuts? (no). Sometimes I have to use Kathy's change-the-subject method of getting out of an awkward moment (asking the hostess for the recipe, or a portion of dessert to take home, works well as both a compliment and a distraction). Advance planning is crucial for successful social eating. Try to find out what will be served and decide what you'll eat. Eat something before you leave home, because the old advice to save your calories for the party is risky business for a post-op. Imagine how irresistible the buffet table is going to look if you haven't eaten for 10 hours. You're not just risking extra calories at that point - you're risking a stuck episode, a productive burp (regurgitation), or sliming - because you're too hungry to eat carefully. If at all possible, bring some food that you can eat and share with the other guests (tell the host or hostess you're going to do this or it might get whisked away and stashed in the refrigerator). If you know alcohol is going to be served, bring a pitcher of a non-alcoholic beverage you like and announce that you thought everybody might like to try your special punch or fruit tea or whatever it is. Stand-up can be easier than sit-down affairs because everyone is busy balancing a plate, cutlery, beverage and conversation and it's easier to sneak off and ditch the food without being seen. At sit-down meals, I'll grab my plate and a neighbor's (making sure it's empty first, of course) and head for the kitchen saying, "Do let me help clear the table" or "Can I get you anything while I'm up?" (that's hard to pull off in a restaurant, though). Speaking of stand-up affairs, finger food is a terrible idea for bandsters. Human teeth are just not designed to take a small enough bite of anything solid enough to be held in the fingers, so proceed with caution. Whether you're standing up or sitting down, cutting up your food into tiny pieces and occasionally moving it around your plate with your fork are good ways to camouflage your spare post-op eating style. And one last piece of advice: please do not give your uneaten food to your host's dog (or cat, or potted plant), no matter how hungry the dog claims he is. You have no way of knowing if the food is even safe for the dog. My dogs are four-legged garbage cans, and they have even worse judgment about food than I do!

I gave up alcohol entirely because of the empty calories.

Alcohol has lots of sugar in it and when drinking it, this could decrease your ability to lose weight but also, it loosens you up enough to make poor eating choices. Open ended choices will not give you the best results. Maybe have some parameters if you won't give it up. I do understand your conflict. I had a diet soda addiction for over 35 years. No caffeine now and no carbonation for me. The trade off is worth the weight loss for me. I hope you can reconcile the drinking and the weight loss. Good luck.

So when did everyone have their 1st drink? Be honest ppl

There are many things that I'm sure all of us do that doesn't follow our Drs orders, and there are many things we do we know we shouldn't do. Some of them really aren't that bad, like I drink out of a straw, all the time. I eat desserts like cake and cookies probably at least twice to 3 times a week. The key to these 'bad' behaviors is moderation and admission. If you feel like you need to drink in a social situation and your sleeve tolerates it, then go for it. I drink with my sleeve. I did wait 6 months, and I have maybe half a drink every few weeks or so, also as a social thing. I do think that alcohol is empty calories and is probably hindering you from losing more weight faster. Another key reason many Drs don't want us drinking is due to transfer addictions. If you have had a true food addiction, it is easy to transfer that addiction to alcohol, gambling or even sex. If you want to drink, you are an adult, and you're the only one that can modify this behavior if you're really concerned about it, otherwise, congrats on your sleeve.

Congrats on cutting out the alcohol. You can do this and maybe think of something to do right after work i.e. listen to a great meditation cd to unwind you. I love www.brainsync.com ....good luck on your journey.

I'm glad you have realized that drinking was not helping you live a healthier life. This might sound kinda harsh, but I don't mean it that way. Everyone in life goes through stress and disappointments, at one point or another. We really have to decide on not using those times as excuses. We have to learn to deal with those times, not with food or alcohol, but figure another way. Anything, going for a walk, reading, taking a soak in the tub or a craft of some kind. Also staying with a support group will also help. I wish you all the best. You can do this!!!

Thank you. You helped me feel encouraged. Right now in life I can say my number one reason to really want to lose weight at this time in my life is health. I could not say that a few years ago. So ok, I will start there. I just quit drinking alcohol a few days ago because my body can't do it anymore and I feel the best in a long time. Everyone tells me I look so refreshed. The calories i got from 1-2 bottles of wine a day was outrages. It's going to be a hard road because that was a routine i did after work. Working night shift has also taken a toll on my body. Beginning Sept i have switched to day shift although I will take a huge money cut.But my health is suffering with high blood pressure and sleep apnea. You are the first person to even discuss all this with. Thank you. I feel I just released a load. I need support so bad or I'm going to dye. Thank you

Sweety I sympathize w u bc we know that food nd stress, unfortunately go together for those of us w a food addiction. It is no different for an alcoholic whose been wo it for many yrs, nd then life hits them in the butt nd they turn to their old comforts. One thing they both have in common, a support group. Ik u said that its not possible but pat urself on the shoulder bc u r asking for help when u cuda stayed in ur misery. With all of that said, and Idk how u feel about this but I'm going to suggest you gt a private room and speak out ur issues to God, He knows yes, but speak it and ask Him for strength nd mercy, be humble but bold in what you need from Him. I am a true believer nd ik that if u were not going to be successful, He wud not have allowed u to get this far. Next, do as the OP said, start small. Start w the water issue, only. Try it for a week, pray for strength! I'll pray too for you:) next, stop eating one of the trigger snacks nd add a protein drink in its place, pray nd I will too. Then try the next thing to stop, just one thing at a time. But believe in what ur doing nd y. As you r doing these few things, pack ur boxes to distract u, pray that God will give u ur New home, if it be His will, I will pray too. Pm me if u want to pray together:) id be honored. As for ur job, again, instead of totally stressing, give it to God, nd believe He will deliver to u, a job w ur name on it! Again, if u don't believe that u can do it alone, ADD God and know, He wants to help u. Also know that there are many here who want to help but u gotta start by helping urself nd uve started tryn bc u posted here. Proud of u. As UK, u ended up in the hospital alrdy, nd u don't wanna keep doing that bc of the infections u cud get there, the bills to worry over, u get what I'm sayn. I just want u to STOP, look at where u were preop nd now postop. Stop, take a breath, nd just take one day nd problem at a time, don't add to what u feel is the end of the world bc its not. Just be still. Sorry for long post but not for trying to help u. I truly hope that som1 says somthn to help u:)) u r awesome, brave, strong, beautiful nd human...dont keep beating urself up! It won't be worth it AT ALL. MAY GOD cont to Bless u. {{{{Hugs}}}}. Dee

I do the muscle milk RTD and Isopure RTD. As a matter of fact I had my first alcohol drink with 1oz vodka and 10 oz Isopure as the chaser....my tolerance for alcohol is awful....but I got 20 gms of Protein in while sipping! Sent from my iPad: Sleeved 4/24/2013 by Dr. Farrell @ UNC Hospital---Started: 239lbs--Goal: 150lbs--Current: 200.9 lbs

I've had pancreatitis (in 1995) and it was PAINFUL. Whenever a nurse asks me to rate my pain from 1-10, I never use a 10 cuz that ones saved for pancreatitis! Hang in there. I think I got a popsicle on day 4. I was out and feeling great day 6. Dr gave me 6 weeks off work but was feeling fine and went back after 2 weeks (nurse) Pancreatitis is so rare for non-alcoholics. I'd had a procedure the day before to retrieve stones from my bile duct and the dye irriatated my pancreas causing it. ugh. it's so painful. I remember lying on the gurney in the ER literally hanging out the side of it crying/begging for pain meds. They couldn't give me anything till my labs came back. Ass oon as it was confirmed, you betcha I got some meds in my IV!! Good luck!

I gotta second Quest Protein bars They have 20 grams of protein 170-200 calories 17-19 grams of Fiber and around 4-6 non-fiber, non-sugar alcohol carbs. Some flavors have a few sugar alcohols and some don't.. I am VERY sensitive to sugar alcohols in sugar free candy (like a few werther's originals send me to the bathroom for an hour) but the sugar alcohols in the quest bars don't affect me.. I think they're from a different source. And they're wheat/gluten free. The power Crunch bars look GOOD and are fairly low in sugar but I stick with Quest because I can't have wheat

My nutritionalist says alcohol, carbonated or surgary beverages, and caffeinated beverages are a forever no no....

I am 6 months out and still don't drink alcohol. I first wanted to wait till my stomach was really healed. I still take carafate every day and will for a couple more weeks. Alcohol can cause damage/ulcers to the new stomach. The sleeve is very fragile. Just wait till you are all done with most of your post-op meds. In my case, for 6 months. Looking forward to that first glass of wine.

I enjoy a glass of cold white wine a few times a week, it´s heavenly! I do stick to the low alcohol kind otherwise I get tipsy, and I also just have one glass. Before surgery I could easely drink 2 or 3 glasses.

Sorry I also forgot to add that many people who are postop are on narcotics and drinking alcohol is a major contradiction.

Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen, strawberry margarita and only had 1 or 2 sips. I really ordered it so they wouldn't think something was up and I told them I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight because I still wasn't feeling great (I had told people I was sick with a GI bug/flu during surgery and recovery). I hate all the lies, but I don't think it is really anyone's business either. They, of course, had chips and guac at the table and kept asking me if I wanted any. It was surprisingly easy to say no. When I got home I had some sugar free jell-o

Karen, I would advise against consuming alcohol for a couple reasons (at this stage). 1) right now your stomach is on the high acidic side. Making you prone to things like acid reflux and ulcers. Alcohol and caffeine alike increase acidity in the stomach and can predispose you to these complications. 2) I know you may feel like you don't have to watch calories, but these mindless liquid calories are not what your body needs right now. Protein is essential for recovery. Alcohol is a blood thinner and thus slows healing. It offers no nutritional value. and 3) Right now is the prime time to follow the rules, being diligent with healthful choices etc. You are establishing new habits and a foundation for the remainder of your banded life. Yes, alcohol can be consumed when you are banded. I would just advise against it until you are well established on solids for now.

I had surgery 4/9/13 and experienced gout attacks a few times since. I'm currently on cholchicine and it clears it up in a couple of days. Its very frustrating because im not ingesting anything i did before to bring on flare ups i.e. Fatty foods,alcohol,seafood. I did not realize that weight loss would have gout as a byproduct . Im going to go on allopurinol in a couple of weeks after the attacks subside and stay on it for about 6 months until my weight has stabilized. I'm down 80 lbs. Since February and life as a sleever has been uneventful aside from this gout issue. Currently dealing with this problem has disrupted my exercise program (c25k) otherwise I feel great!

I try really hard to see me at goal. Before surgery, when people who have already undergone weight loss surgery told me this is just as much mental as it is physical - I didn't not believe them, but I blew it off. Now that I'm a few days over four months out & 85.5 pounds down - I see myself as gross, probably now so even more than ever. I feel guilty eating things like low fat, low cal, low carb dressings because I feel like that was one of my issues before surgery (except that nothing before surgery was low fat, low cal, low carb). I'm 5'9" - I still have 70 pounds to go to get to my* goal weight of 170, my MD wants me at 152. I have a hard time seeing me at either of these goals. I think daily, is it really possible for me to get to either of these? I think for this reason, stalls trip me out because I want to continue losing. I still go to the store & buy clothes at pre-surgery size (3-4x) because my mind hasn't come to grips with my physical changes yet. I fit comfortably into L-XL shirts now. Hope goal is possible for me. Working hard everyday, and haven't cheated no bread, pasta, rice, fattening condiments, soft drinks, alcohol, fast food, nothing. I don't miss it really (except for alcohol lol) I am happy I'm seeing results, but am not yet where I want to be.

FWIW, you can also have great success even if you don't follow the guidelines that well! I'm rebellious and emotional and I make lousy food choices at least 40% of the time... But I can't binge. And I can't drink cold OJ in the AM. And alcohol now gives me heartburn. So I'm kinda forced into submission. And it's awesome!!!

Hi! I'm a food addict and trying to control that. Before, if I hadn't eaten, I probably would have been an alcoholic.....Chose food over booze. Now I'm trying to deal with that as I've added back more foods, but....have to be really careful. Luckily, I can't eat alot. Good luck everyone!!!

I was worried about cross-over addictions while I was researching as well. I do know a few people that had WLS and ended up dealing with alcohol problems. However, I quit drinking 5 years ago because I was uncomfortable with my drinking habits. When I made the decision to get the sleeve last Fall, I decided that I wasn't likely to have a crossover problem with alcohol, since I don't drink (and didn't plan to start). I was sleeved March 18th of this year, and I am very thankful that drinking is not on my option list these days. Can't go cold-turkey like that on food, unfortunately. Instead, you just really have to re-frame how you think about food - I try to look at it only as fuel, not as a pleasure thing.

Alcohol, carbonation, and caffeine are always hot button issues and surgeons are all over the map with patients instructions. Mine is a "consume what you can tolerate" guy. I consume all without any real issues, although carbonated beverages require sipping not drinking. I still take issue with the alcohol absorption theory because alcohol effects me no different now than before. With bypass patients I understand the argument but band patients don't have any rerouted plumbing and liquids or other sliders, consumed alone, should not have any change in digestion. I think a lot of people's indications regarding alcohol are anecdotal and perceived. I've seen a lot of non banded friends "think" or "feel" intoxicated just because they know something contains alcohol. If you believe alcohol will affect you differently your predisposed for it to. The real issue for alcohol is it is clearly counterproductive to fat loss... At 7 calories per gram it is the second most dense calorie you can consume. Add sugars in some mixers and byproducts and it can be a bomb... If fat loss is the goal, keep alcohol consumption to a minimum. Brad