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Ive heard and read that sometimes after the sucessful weight loss marriages or relationships end...they blame the patient..maybe they should blame themselves for being unsupportive jacka**es......thankfully so far my hubby is supportive

He sounds like a great man and hubby It makes a huge difference having support at home. My heart breaks for those who struggle with establishing a solid support group, especially when spouses/SOs are the ones who are the unsupportive ones. I wish everyone had this!

Congrats to you! Don't you feel awesome? I was banded on May 20th and am loving my life even more already. You are also really lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive boyfriend because I've read some people on here have had problems with unsupportive spouses. Congrats again and keep up the good work! :thumbdown:

I was having cold feet and then I look at myself in the mirror and don't even recognize myself. I have always struggled with weight and after 3 kids it has taken its toll on me after the birth of my daughter I am at my highest weight ever. I'm disgusted with myself. I've often though what is wrong with me I lose weight then gain it back plus more. I'm tired of this game and I'm not getting any younger I spent my 20's struggling with weight I want my 30's(turn 30 in sept) to be happy and confident and comfortable in my own skin. My husband was very unsupportive until he saw how serious I am about this. I need a life change and a tool to help me get there to help me feel full. I can eat good but my portions are always too big and then ill pick at my kids bc I don't feel full. I have struggled and I can't believe surgery is in 2 weeks and today when I bought all my stuff for the liquid diet I questioned if this is the right thing for me. I know it is I want to be healthy and a hot mama lol. As to the post above I think that people ask what to eat after surgery for tasty ideas. I got a vague list of foods to eat and to avoid but having input from what people have eaten who have been there is helpful to hear what may work and what hasn't so much.

I agree with all the great posters, and the cute reference to Kat Williams, a hysterical comedian, and his 'haters' advice! It seriously made me feel better when I heard him joke that it was a good thing to have haters. For me, the people who have been the most unsupportive were the people who were weight-conscious, but never over-weight. Does that make sense? I.E. my half-sister who exercises every once and a while but feels she a guru because she stays in good shape, or my ex-roommate who was a nursing student who was on a strict diet of fat free butter and daily Chipotle (because THAT'S healthy??) and would give me lectures about eating burritos from local taco joints, but she's never been 10 lbs or more overweight. She admitted her father had a heart-attack and that's why her family started being a little more 'conscious' of food. When I first signed up for Lapbandtalk.com back in March, she looked on my Laptop and came into my rooms saying, "I need to talk to you." She treated it as some intervention, sat on my bed and told me YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT!! Like I was literally giving up on myself by looking into surgery. I took her whacked advice with a grain of salt, but started to notice a pattern iin who was supportive and who was not. Another big critic was my then best-friend, a girl who had lost 40 pounds on weight watchers with me a few years before. She maintained her loss, which I did not. But she had never been overweight before, and I had struggled my whole life. She admittedly had an eating disorder and had a binge purge type of diet. Anyway, the people that have bothered me about it have never truly had a problem or if they did, were unable to sustain it in a healthy way, and I do think it stems from jealousy. She still send me forwards to this day about failed BYPASS patients she read about in biology or nutrition class. So don't feel alone that you have haters. There's my story! I used to think exactly like you did about taking the easy way out, infact, that's what I thought it was when I started researching it (kind of...I mean..I thought I could get away with more than you actually can) II have done WW a million times and gained and lost the same 30 pounds, then self-sabotaged myself when I gained...I looked as the band to me an addition to a healthy lifestyle that I was allowed to slip on, but not allowed to self-sabotage anymore. Good luck.

My dear sweet boyfriend and I (both in our 60's now) met online and have been together eight years and sharing a home for the last 4 1/2. I was new to the area and had been looking at Craigslist.com for a job. One day I realized that there are other catagories too, including personal ads. So, as a twisted social experiment, I laid out the unvarnished truth, baggage and all. I got 93 responses! After sorting out all the ones that were inappropriate or did not hold my interest, I picked out six that I though might be worth a first date. I dated a couple of frogs, and then came across the kindest, gentlest man I have ever met. Second date was all day for lunch, a White Sox game, and dinner. We have been together ever since. Never did check out the other three. I said all of that to say this: Just tell the truth and run. If he has an objection to your method of obtaining health and happiness, then you are wasting your time and his. You don't want to be a human bait and switch. At this point, you are hoping he is not holding back any deal breakers from you, either. Get the truth out there. Why start out with a unsupportive mate? Don't settle. You know what you want now. Go for that.

Tomorrow should have been my surgery date. I'd been very nervous - I thought I'd done enough prep reading these boards but a couple of days ago I got really scared that I didn't know what would happen after the ten year mark. What if there's massive nutrition deficiencies? I started reading bad stories - unsupportive stories - and was really nervous that I didn't prepare myself enough. I've had a lot of people question me doing this -my BMI is 40- thinking I should just do it the regular way and I'm taking the easy way out. There's no question this isn't the easy way out. I tell them its the effective way out. Despite my doubts, I was carefully getting ready for the surgery with my pre-op diet. Then my car got hit on my way to work. It caused some painful whiplash in addition to damage to my car. This - two days before my surgery. I thought I should hold off until Friday, but the surgeons office said the next appointment wasn't until the end of November. I said I wanted to get feedback from my doctor before postponing the surgery. At the doctors office, he told me that he recommended me postpone this because the anesthesia involves a lot of neck manipulation which could hurt worse. I can't define my emotions. Can you have disappointment and relief at the same time? Suddenly I wanted pumpkin pie. 3 weeks was enough time for some pie. It turns out my X-rays look okay...and now my neck doesn't hurt that bad.. I have everything with work arranged for my leave. My emotions and desires about this surgery crystalized. I want this now. I've prepared for this and I don't want to look back. I didn't eat any pie...but okay I had some Cereal. I mostly kept with my pre-op diet in hopes an earlier time would open up. I made an appointment Friday with a physical therapist and a slot opened up for my surgery on November 4th and I know I'm ready.

I think it's pretty normal for a partner's fear about your safety in surgery to come across as being unsupportive. My husband did the same thing both when I was banded and revised to sleeve (6 weeks post op). Once I got through safely, he has been very supportive. But he was scared for me to have surgery and at times said similar things to what you report.

Actually, it felt great, much better than being unsupported.

they may seem like they don't care and honestly, some of them might not but it is probably more a case of them not knowing what to say. Most of the general public have zero understanding of weight loss surgery and what a major life change it is - not just the surgery itself, but all the mental aspects that go along with it. So don't expect everyone to get it. Remember, they haven't been living in your body so they have no idea what your personal struggles with being overweight are and therefore don't understand how important this is for you. You are getting the surgery FOR YOU, at the end of the day - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You have a support system here and it sounds like your family is supporting you as well. I would suggest now before your surgery, make a list of all the reasons why are you getting the surgery and another list of all the things you are looking forward to being able to do. Whenever you have a down moment or feel alone and unsupported - look at those lists. It's the emotional support you give to yourself that is going to be most important on this journey.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice! I'm trying to distance my self a little bit from her until after my surgery. This is hard because I am an only child and my husband and I only live 3 miles away. My only problem is who do I bring to my pre-surgery support seminar next week? I was planning on bringing my mom, but since she has been so unsupportive I don't think that's a good idea. My husband just might have to take a day off work!

My one daughter and her husband are very supportive, the rest of my immediate family is not supportive or unsupportive. I find my support in places like this, my bariatric team and at my Weight Watchers meeting. They all understand the journey of losing weight. The forums and the bariatric team have the added benefit of understanding my surgery, but I have taken time to also inform my Weight Watcher group to. I too only told those that needed to know. Letting too many people know before is hard because they do not understand and then they watch you with such a critical eye. When people notice and ask, I am always forward about it and provide them with good information. I do eat fruits and vegetables, but my diet is rich and Protein. I do eat some carbs, but they are harder for me to tolerate and overfill me very fast. I wish you luck and wonderful holiday season. Let me know if you have any other questoins.

Hi everyone! I had my sleeve 6 weeks ago and have lost 17kg... i'm currently in a stall but that's another matter, it'll fix itself i'm sure I was just wondering if anyone here has someone they're close too who has been unsupportive of their WLS? What did you do about it? Have you lost any friends? I have a friend who has had nothing positive to say about the surgery at all, just talks about how i will never be able to eat anything and i'll be vomiting all the time after my 2 teaspoons (which is completely untrue).

I had surgery on 10/24. Tomorrow will be 1 week post surgery. I knew everyone has different experiences but I've always done well with surgeries and medications and medical thing. This is nothing like I could have imagined. I knew I wouldn't be hungry but I don't think I actually grasped or frankly believed that was possible. Now I find myself barely eating anything. Not my Protein drinks or yogurt and drinking is the hardest thing in the world. It's physically painful in my chest to drink. Emotionally I've felt at Rock bottom. The nausea after my surgery has me vomiting brown liquid and I kept whining "why did I do this to myself?" I've been a complete recluse ignoring phone calls and texts and in the spirit of complete honesty, I have not even Pet my dog since I've been home from the hospital. This animal I've taken care of since he was 8 weeks I have no desire to be around. My family is incredibly supportive and I know this will make me sound ridiculously ungrateful... but they are so supportive it's annoying. I truly do know how lucky I am to have a family like I do because I have seen and read a lot about unsupportive families and spouses. They keep telling me it will get better and that they know how I feel but how can they? They have not had this surgery and have no idea what it's been like this past week. I just need to know if this does get better? When will I feel as amazing as everyone says they feel? When will I be able to drink liquids without pain? I know that things will never be as they were and I'm glad for that, but today I just need to know that someone does understand the way I feel and that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Sorry for the saga. I think that was officially longer than any opening credit of a star wars movie Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

My PCP is also unsupportive , she feels weight issues are due to compulsive over eating and the surgery won't solve anything. She feels I will just change one obsession for another like alcoholism or some other horrible obsession and told me to see a dietitian. I joke with friends that I've "dieted" myself into obesity, but it's absolutely true! If diets worked I wouldn't be in this situation! I'm going forward without her blessing and will find the support I need elsewhere!

So I went back to find this post I made YEARSSSSSSS AGO and a reply i made a couple of years later. This is when i still had my Lapband (didn't come out till March 2017). Since then I got divorced and remarried.... Band removal and Sleeve revision (aug. 28, 2019). Posted April 25, 2013 I have not always needed you.... and one time in my life.. i was a "normal" person. Size 0-3... weigh a whopping 100lbs. Back in my single day... then one day you meet a wonderful guy and you fall in love... ahhh things are great. You get married and have a beautiful son. and life is good.... but then you notice that you’re not happy as you use to be. some days are worse than others... you find the strength to get up every day and go to work and live a "normal" life. Things are good at home... but something is missing... that spark, that feeling you use to get when you and your spouse were together intimately .. and you notice that those time has gotten further and further apart. and you think, what is going on? and one day the reason is staring you right in the face... the mirror... but in that mirror is someone else... surely, it's not me... I don't look like that... that's a ugly fat girl... i'm not ugly and i for damn sure am not fat. Can't be... i told my self-years ago i would NEVER like myself look like... those people... but then you look closer... and closer and there. i know those eyes.... those are my eyes... but why do they look so sad. I have happy eyes. and i see, i see the real me. the one others have been seeing for years.... how did i not see this... how did i let myself get like this ... how did i become that girl that now had to shop at the plus-size store... when just yesterday i was a size 3... How did i become the girl the skinny girls are not looking at and saying... i'll never let myself look like HER... and i'm the HER. this feeling takes the very last shred of self-confidence and stomps it into the dirt and spits on it. and you think...i am ugly i am fat i am unworthy of love.... unworthy of feeling good. and you start to eat... more and more and everything keeps getting worse. you stop taking care of yourself, stop dressing up stop wearing make-up and fixing your hair.... stop putting forth the effort at all... You are now sitting in a deep dark cave, alone and no one or nothing can show you the light.... But one day... you open your eyes expecting to see nothing... complete darkness and there it is... a speck of light.... it's tiny, but just right there in front of you. and you squint to see it.... making sure it's really there. that speck was my friend Paula... she had lb surgery and every day we talked and every day my light grow brighter.... I went to the doctor and did all the tests... did it all and the news that i was approved... OH ... JOy. I looked in the mirror and saw a glimmer of hope. But as the days grew closer... I started to think... WHAT IF... what if i die on the table, what if i fail at this too, what if i stayed fat forever... Then i saw this site...trolled for a long while. I didn't want to sign because, well what if someone knew me... the horror... Then i saw all the successive people... the beautiful woman and handsome men that in their before pictures looked so sad... sad like me. Then i saw the after pictures. and all the happy smiling faces... people who were bigger than me... now wearing size 6 jeans (lellow)... and i thought, i can do this i can get my life back.... I will be happy again. so on November 10, 2009... i awoke... was re-born. and i did do it... i lost 80lbs... it took me longer than most, but i don't care. I have donated all the 12-14-16 & 18 and moved into my own size 6... On Feb 15, 2012.... after a long hard fight.... i won and awarded myself a tummy tuck... i deserved it. I earned it.... so to my band... thank you... for sticking with me and always keeping me on track. and too all you out there thinking about doing this.....search within yourself and be happy again... whichever way you choose..... blessings..... Posted March 31, 2015 Ak.... congrats on deciding to make a change in your life. I re-read my post and im terrible in grammar... lol.... but it made me cry a little... to think back at how sad i really was. And to admit, i have started feeling that way again.... Not that i am "fat" by normal standards, im still a size 8. But i have put back 20 and feel defeated somewhat. Scared... too. Scared of the unknown, of the what if's.... What if i can't get my ass back in gear and do what i know i can. Depressed because i have no support at home with my husband. Who just yesterday said that my LB was a "hobby"... can you believe that... A Hobby... He hates that im no longer "fat"... he said.... your not fat, you're thick.... where other men will tell me im Hot, beautiful, sexy... not him... im thick. We went through a time where sex was great... 2-3 times a week... which was a vast improvement from 1-2 a YEAR... We are now back at 1-2 a month.... if im lucky. February 14, 2020 Well, I did lose that 20 i put back and in fact did lose another 10... I soon after i decided that there was a lot more to the reason i was so unhappy. My ex was still very verbally abusive and very unsupportive. He still hated my weight loss. Still was not being intimate with me... and it got back down to 1-2 a year. Found out that he was in fact sleeping with another woman (he never admitted it). I talked with him and begged him to do counseling... he said no, that there was nothing wrong with him. So I sat down on the couch and said, if things don't change, i'm filing for divorce. Of course, he didn't believe me... but i pulled up my big girl "thongs" (hehe) and filed.... After he realized i was standing my ground, now he wanted counseling.... NOPE.. too late i was done and completly checked out. The marriage ended after 26 years. The day i said i was filing... it was like a thousand tons had been lifted. I started dating and found that men (and women) wanted me. I felt so good about myself. I even posted a profile on Match... and yes that is where i found Tim. I sware he is the last of a dying breed..... perfect gentleman, so kind and loving and giving.... has excepted me for me... He loves me thin, thick (gained 30lbs after band removal) and loves me now.... Thin again. He tells and shows me every day how much he appreciates me.... and it's such a wonderful feeling. So as of today, i'm 51 years old, still 5'2", CW 133.4, Current size 4.... Sleeve done Aug 28, 2019. So im 25 weeks PO. Got married on September 26, 2019..... I am the happiest i have ever been..... Loving me

My husband didn't agree with my decision to have surgery either. I wouldn't say he was unsupportive, because he did recognize that it was MY decision and he didn't try to argue with me. He very strongly believed that I could lose the weight on my own, because I have in the past. What he didn't understand is that I could never MAINTAIN the weight loss on my own. I have lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained. I was back up to within 10 pounds of my highest weight ever and once again starting to lose weight. But I decided that this time would be the LAST time. If I was going to work hard and lose the weight again, this time it was going to stick. And I figured VSG could help me do that. For me it wasn't weight LOSS surgery, it was weight MAINTENANCE surgery.

Always remember the final decision is yours. Folks who think it's the "easy way out" or is unsupportive probably has more fear than knowledge about the surgery or the decision making we all have to do to even start this process. It's far from easy no matter where you are in the process. As much as we'd all love to have the love and support of everyone in our world it will never happen and there will always be nay sayers but, in the end.....when we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep, WE have to live with ourselves. We have to carry this shell, this burden we've been carrying for so long and the pain physically and mentally that comes with it. The decision is yours and as long as you've made it with lots of insight, research and as much knowledge as you can gain about it......then you're doing the right thing for you. You go girl and do what you know is right for you. Good luck!

Where does it say she was being unsupportive? She's frustrated by not being able to enjoy her social life because of the liquid requirements. I get it. That doesn't mean she's unsupportive. He's right it's a temporary family adjustment and she's having a bit of a hard time as he is. Don't be all Debbie downer on her Life was about going out and drinking and socializing over food. So was mine. I went out to dinner week 2 post op and been out every weekend since. I didn't stop pre op either. It's just all about the choices! I don't drink I ate Soups I ordered mashed potatoes at certain phases I ordered soft foods when needed And I even -- eegads --- went to a pizzeria several times ! I always order a side of meatballs - no pizza for me It helped that all our friends knew what I'd done so it made it really easy from that perspective. Choices folks! They're out there. Wrap your head around the choices. You don't have to give up being social. You make different choices. Now if wifey and friends push you into a beer or other bad choices. Go home.

So far I haven't eaten a meal with someone who didn't know. An old friend came to town when I was about a month out, and prior to surgery, we would've had lunch at a wings-and-beer type of place, but I figured I needed to explain why I wasn't interested in that. Fortunately he'd gotten stinky-drunk the night before and was gonna get stinky-drunk that night too, so it was a moot point. I guess there's always the old "I'm not that hungry" if you absolutely can't tell them. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I decided to tell people, and no one has been unsupportive.

Hello, I am scheduled for surgery 2/6/08. I am really kind of nervous/scared about afterwards. MY husband is sooo supportive of me and is going has gone to everything with me. I am not telling my family because they are very unsupportive of me. They are all fat too, but, I guess I am the best to make fun of.:think What do I tell them about my weight loss?? Should I tell them down the road?? My husbands family does not know either. I will tell them afterwords. ( my husband is 55 and his family is old school about things like this. but they will be supportive.) Is it hard to deal/accept all the changes?? I am so sorry about the long post. I just have alot of questions. Any and all insight would be swell. Thank you. :help:

Hi there, I'm new to this forum, and new to the entire lap band process I guess. I'm 23 years old, 5'5 1/2, and I weigh 261. I've always been a little "thick" but gained about 60 lbs in one year due to the Depo-Provera birth control shot. Being overweight is kind of accepted in African-American culture (as far as men go) , so at first I didn't mind, but my family is really unsupportive of my weight issue (name calling and nasty comments when I eat), and I recently found out that I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol so time for a change! I have my orientation tomorrow, and I'm really excited but a little nervous. Never had any kind of surgery before. Wish me luck!

I came across this from Dave at Paleohacks.com It is good encouragement for when you are faced with negative and unsupportive people in your life. The story has some great analigies. Hey there! Today I want to share with you a fantastic story and some amazing life advice from a mentor of mine that's helped me in my journey to not only become a healthier person, but a happier & more successful one as well. And it comes in the form of a story of a trip to Alaska... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "How To Remove CRABS From Your Life" By Bedros Keuilian Several years ago while on an adventure trip to Alaska I experienced what I can only call one of life's greatest lessons. Like all great lessons in life, it came unexpected and it came to me exactly at the time when I needed it the most. While taking a walk along the shoreline in Ketchikan, Alaska I noticed several crab fisherman casting their nets, waiting a few moments, and the pulling in couple crabs at a time. One fisherman had a bucketful of five or six crabs in it. It was probably one of those five gallon paint buckets that you'd find at the local Home Depot. There was several inches of Water at the bottom of the bucket and these crabs - some the size of my palm, and others the size of Shaquille O'neal's. As I stood there watching how this crab fisherman went about his trade I noticed that one of his crabs from the bucket was climbing on top of the rest. I couldn't really make out exactly what the crab was up to just yet, but I could tell this one was the more ambitious crabs of the bunch. But I soon figured out exactly what he was up to. This little ambitious crab was attempting to make a getaway! He was climbing on top of the others to gain height, then he slowly extend him front legs upward toward the lip of the bucket to pull himself up. HOLY COW!... this little guy was trying to make a break for it. FREEDOM! More out of curiosity than anything else I asked the crab fisherman if he was aware that this crab was about to hoist himself up and over the edge of the bucket. He calmly said; "watch what happens." As this ambitious crab started pulling himself up to get over the edge of the bucket, all of the other crabs reached up, grabbed his hind legs and pulled him down to the bottom of the bucket. LIFE LESSON! I instantly realized that I had made one of the dumbest mistakes of my life. Earlier that year I had figured out that a few of the people in my life were negative minded individuals who always found a way to squash my dreams each time I'd share it with them. Yet I continued to hang out with them, I kept them in my circle of influence, and shared my most lofty goals with them - only to have my ambitions squashed by their negativity, doubt, and scarcity mindedness. I wanted so badly to soar with the eagles, yet I was hanging out with turkeys. I suppose it was just comfortable to be around the people I knew, even if they did stunt my personal and professional growth, rather than to find a new circle of influence who would support me, challenge me, and encourage me to achieve and surpass my goals. Fear of the unknown stopped me from achieving my dreams sooner. But things changed for me after that day in Ketchikan, Alaska. When I got back home I committed to creating my "bubble" and cutting out all of the crabs and turkeys in my life. I become the gatekeeper of my bubble. I chose who got in and who got kicked out. It wasn't easy to do, but I cut ties with the crabs in my life. No more crabs, no more turkeys... ONLY eagles are allowed into my bubble these days. We've all heard the saying... you are the average of the five people who you surround yourself with the most. But you can also say it this way; your head space, your personal development, your attitude, your contribution to society, your personal and spiritual growth in life are all an average of the five people that you surround yourself the most. If the people in your circle of influence are crabs, energy vampires, and low tone then that's the effect that they're going to have on your life. If the people in your circle are positive, encourage you, support you, inspire you, then there is absolutely no limits on what you can achieve - really. That's what I want for you. You're an eagle, but you'll never soar as high as you can if you hang around with turkeys and crabs. Put yourself around the people who will support, encourage and challenge you to get to your goals. ------------------------------------------------------------------ I NEVER had more opposition in my life than when I became an entrepreneur, switched to Paleo, and started taking care of my health. It quickly became very clear to me who were REALLY my friends and supporters, and who just wanted me to stay the same -- so that THEY could be comfortable with their own failings and insecurities. You better believe those people are no longer a part of my life. And I am a MUCH better, happier, less-stressed person for it. And if you have people like that in your life, that are draining you, holding you back, then one of the most important things you can do is remove them - immediately. This life is not a test run - there are no redos. Every second you spend wasted with negative people is one that you will NEVER get back. Remember that! And think about replacing those negative people with ones who actually inspire and support you -- starting TODAY. Talk soon, Dave

Just a little background on me first. I got the band in Dec. 2010 and so far have lost 100 lbs. since my first consult. I told NO ONE about getting Lap Band except my boyfriend (who went to all my appointments and was there at the surgery) and the lady who I first talked to about it (she had it over 2 years). It has become noticeable that I have lost a ton of weight and I often get compliments and friends want weight loss advice. I was talking to one of my friends (we've been friends since elementary and her idea of over weight is the 160 she now weighs instead of the 120 she did in high school) on the phone and she was like you have lost a lot of weight, how much more do you planning on losing (as if I had already lost enough). I said well, my ultimate goal is 160 and she asked how far I was away from that (basically just a nice way to find out how much I weighed). So, I was like let me tell back up and tell you my whole story. Then she interrupted me (I was going to tell her about my lowest weight my freshman year in college and how I'm getting close to that) and said, "Oh Lord, don't tell me you had Lap Band"! I was taken aback and said, "No, I wasn't going to tell you that, I was going to tell you about my weight loss since freshman year in college" and she was like "Oh". And that moment I realized why I hadn't told anyone about MY surgery. It is just that, my surgery! I do not need anyone's negativity, sideways comments, or unsupportiveness. If you are contemplating on telling people or not, just think before you act. In my case it was best that I didn't!

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you. I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died. Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.