Search the Community

Greetings, having trouble with the fonts and colors I was trying to be creative and be festive but got orange instead and the screen won't stay up long enough for me to change it. Oh well. Well, Janet, you asked about my day and said after hitting 91 I am probably not even tempted to stray. Well.....I'm up 1.5 today, does that say anything? :tounge_smile: I had a brunch on Thurs. and parties on Fri and Sat. night. The Fri party wasn't a problem it was in a restaurant and I could order what I wanted. However, Thurs the bruch was very difficult. I didn't bring any food with me, these folks have no idea I am banded though most know I am losing weight, well they all should, 90 lbs isn't easy to miss, but there's one gal there that wouldn't comment on it even if she did notice. She's been very unsupportive of my weight loss, she is overweight herself so I don't know if I make her uncomfortable or what. Anway, I expected at a brunch for the to be eggs at least. Everything was bread, the main dish was a French toast casserole, there were muffins, sandwiches, etc. The sandwiches had chicken salad in them and I took the salad out and had that but left not satisfied for the number of calories the salad cost me. Last night's party was a pot luck type thing and everything was pasta or bread again. I had a few mini weinies and then too many cookies and brownies. Here I'm not even a sweet person and ate that. DUH!! Oh well, I'm not changing the ticker, I will work on being mindful through the holidays and won't sweat it too much. In the past I'd gain 10 to 15 lbs from Thanksgiving to New Years, this year I am still down. This too shall pass and I will be completely on track after the holidays and make wise choices through them. I have set a mini goal to reach 100 by Valentines, it seems doable right now, I've settled into a losing pace of about 5 to 7 a month. That's 9 lbs in a little over a month and a half. Oh and the rec center is doing Biggest Loser again come January and I will be entering again. Today I am going to my sisters for a Christmas dinner, she is serving crab so I should be good there. They haven't seen me since Oct. Then all my parties etc. are over with until Christmas eve and Christmas. And I am going to work in the morning with my workout clothes in tow! Must keep that up during this season. Charlene, yep nuts!! Too bad you can't take some of our zero temps with it to keep the snow cold. Apples, I always tell my husband he looks sexiest when he's cleaning!

I don't understand your comment. I don't view it as unsupportive if a doctor makes sure a patient understands all their options. Should he be sure not to tell her all her options? That would be irresponsible. No, they don't. Inamed came up with those stats. They took a high risk group of bypass folks who won't lose well for a variety of reasons (mostly not bypassing an appropriate amount of intestine) and THAT is the group they compare banded folks. Besides, for any of these surgeries they consider a 50% loss of your excess weight a success. I don't think 50% of your "excess" weight is all that great. It's better than where we started, sure! But a success? Banding does indeed have the lowest success rate, the slowest weight loss, and it is the hardest procedure to have to lose weight. The following are typical results for WLS at the end of 5 years: DS: About 85-90% of your excess weight (but a horror of a procedure IMHO) Bypass: About 80% Sleeves: About 80% Banding: 50-70% (depending on starting BMI) MGB: Not sure, nobody with any skill or positive reputation does this procedure, only the doctors who can't make it in the real world do it. ;o) Gastric Ball: Only used for temporary use, not designed for long term use so there are no 5 year stats. No, they don't get it because it is adjustable, they get it because they are very limited in options for a revision when they fail. Bypass isn't for me either but they get a band because they drank carbonated beverages and large quantities of food and stretched out their stomach. Banded folks screw up their surgery types too including dilating their pouch and esophagus. You can eat around every single surgery type out there. When you have a lap band you are essentially trying to copy what your pylorus valve does naturally. You are adjusting it to do what sleeves do naturally but in banded folks it is done higher up in the stomach. Re-ops are between 10-40% for bands depending on which study you read. I disagree, question yourself up to the moment they put you to sleep for surgery. Keep asking yourself if this is the right surgery type for you regardless of which surgery you are having. Never stop researching your doctor, hospital, and surgery type. When you have Inamed putting out information they have manipulated all to heck to prove a point that doesn't exist then you have people that don't have solid information to base their decision. I like the Inamed band better than the J&J band but the folks at Inamed/Allergan have the morality of a stray alley cat.

LOL, my DH is banded and darn if I dont have to manage HIS band as well as my own. I cannot understand how you can be banded without the history of a lifetime's dieting to inform you about what is healthy, how many calories every food in the modern world contains, as well as its fat grams, Protein etc. that is just basic knowledge to me, I've learned it over 40 years. So to decide I want to eat about 1200 calories, 30% protein today, I just do that, I dont have to follow a set of instructins. How do you do this without knowing what you're eating? He knows NOTHING. He just eats. He has no idea what he is putting in. He lost a bit, but not much, he's one of the ones who needs good restriction before losing. So does he make fill appointments? Never occurs to him. When I suggest it, he acts worried like he's too tight already and he wont be able to eat bread! I booked him in for his last one and he went and lo and behold the weight starts coming off. At the time I made him one for six weeks hence, and that's this Wednesday, but unfortunately he cant make that. I better make an alternative one or it'll be another six months before he thinks of it. He doesnt exercise at ALL either. He expects me to not go for my run, to wait for him to go for a long walk and then he gets home and says he's too tired, GRRRRR. So I've just stopped waiting for him, I've gone back to what suits me and suddenly I'm "unsupportive". Unsupportive? Where the F was HE when I was slogging my way through learning to run 10kms? sheesh.

I fell just short of putting it on television. I did it to eliminate the conversation later on asking are you sick? Why are you losing so much weight . I also used it to my advantage to see who was behind me or who was unsupportive.

Hello. I get the feeling from reading your post that your family is not entirely educated about the band. They don't understand about the hunger and overeating, or maybe they understand too well and don't want to lose their eating buddy. Either way, this is your decision and no one else can make it for you. You have to be willing to see and understand why you eat the way you do or the band will not work for you. It is merely a tool that helps keep the insatiable hunger away. I have not been banded but have been researching for about 5 years now. Everything I have read says the same thing. You have to work the band or it won't work for you. It's not a magic cure - it won't magically make the pounds fall off of you. As for the mental health aspect, your family needs to understand the mental anguish you go through now. Do they want you to be miserable for the rest of your life because of the weight and failed attemtps? Or do they want you to be healthy and happy? Maybe you should ask? I hope this helps. While I don't understand a family being so unsupportive, I do know that I can do this, with help from the lap band. This is a personal decision and cannot be made or influenced by anybody but you. Remember, TOOL not magic cure. Also remember that you can find tons of supportive and caring people on this site. It has been my best resource so far. Hoping and praying for you.

Maybe it's best if you just don't discuss your surgery with your family, if they're not supportive. I made it a point to keep my surgery a secret from almost everyone I know (except my husband and parents), simply because I was afraid that I would hear all the unsupportive crap that everyone has to say. "It's the easy way out". Well I'm here to tell you that having the band is NOT easy. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done! It is a whole different lifestyle. And you CAN make bad choices with the band. The band doesn't stop ice cream from going down, and it doesn't stop cookies, either (for the most part). I just got to a good level of restriction with my 14cc band, and I am now eating roughly 1100 calories per day, while not being hungry AT ALL. This would simply not be possible without the band. If I were eating this many calories previous to having the band, I would be going nuts from hunger, and would probably be unable to concentrate on my work/daughter, and have little or no energy. This way, I am totally satisfied eating a VERY small portion, and I don't have that need or want to keep eating. I just CAN'T eat anymore. Feeling stuffed after eating a hardboiled egg is an awesome feeling! I have lost 30 or so pounds since June, and I feel GREAT. You can't change your families' minds, but you can decide not to let their opinions affect the decisions you make. You are more important than that.

Hi Monika - I guess one thing that I haven't dealt with is what to tell family and friends. My husband knows and has come around to being supportive - his initial reaction was more mixed than I would have imagined. He was worried about losing me to the operation, complications, anesthesia and then he was unconvinced that I wasn't taking this like a "magic bullet". Anyways, 4 months later, he is totally on-board and understands how important this is for me. My son is 18 months old - so no complications there :teeth_smile: As for friends, this is where I totally feel you Monika. I haven't told my close friends yet. Part of me is like - look, lemme just get through this and then if the weight is really dropping, and they ask, then I'll tell them. It's not that I don't think they'll be supportive, but that sometimes you never know exactly where your friends may be at with respect to their own body-images, etc. I have found that when someone reacts angrily to something, especially dealing with body image, that is often a sure-fire sign that they may be having issues too. Just speculation, but it may help when she is being unsupportive to tell her about all the pills and shots you're looking forward to stopping. I think people initially really think losing weight is about body image, and they fail to see all the real health problems it can create. ok, sorry this got so long. but good luck! k

NOV. 5th for me. HAting this clear liquid, no cafine no sugar diet, yuck! sick and tired of all the pills and needles,protein drinks and now i have to have Iron infusions....sheesh i must be all out of whack! who'd of thought! well anything to loose the weight and not die of a heart attack. I live alone ( well with the kitty) and family is kinda busy with their own familys, so i am a little nervous about handling everything by myself. lol i already made a big chart to track the meds and stuff i need to take it takes up the whole wall in the kitchen. my best friend is being very unsupportive about this, i just dont understand why, every one else is being supportive. its very fustrating, since i spend so much time with her. i cant even talk to her about it, she just starts getting all angry. :teeth_smile:

Wonderful news McGreen (well maybe not the dad being unsupportive - but just you wait, he will come around). I am so impressed that you got the famous Dr. J Lo. I used to be such a fan of Big Medicine. I am sure you are going to get phenomenal results with him. Good luck - only a few more sleeps!!!!!!! Jacquie

Hi There, I'm new to the site. I've been really thinking about having the LB surgery. It is quite costly, here in T.O. and because of this, my spouse is very unsupportive. I've got about 120 to 140 to lose and I just seem to keep gaining more and more. It's getting to the point where I am quickly becoming a gorophobic (did i spell that right). i hate leaving the house! How do I get him on board? Also, any advice would be great as I prepare for this journey. I met with a centre in April and I am going to reschedule another consultation. What specific questions should I ask? Many thanks everyone. I appreciate the support.

I had a very unsupportive PCP. What I did to get him to do my bidding i.e. write my surgical referral and support letter was to bring him a packet of lap band research and a list of participating surgeons in the city. I proved to him that not only was I serious about having surgery but that I did the research and knew the risks. He was nonplussed to say the least. But you bet I walked out of there with my referral and when the time came for my support letter I was on his ass like a deer tick. I didnt ask him what I should do I told him what I was gonna do. Remove the option of telling you no. Moral of the story...he/she works for you and can only stand in your way if you allow them to. He/she is recommending the diet and exercise exclusively, let him/her know that you will most likely have to do a 6month diet and weight in before you can have surgery anyway. So you will indeed do the diet and exercise, while you move forward with the banding process.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. Dear Desperate, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Tech Support

I have only told a few people....my significant other (obviously), my mother (who is supportive), my boss and one friend. Nobody else. I have a very close group of girlfriends whom I adore...we all love one another...but I brought up lap band about a year ago after I attended the seminar and the backlash was outrageous. I am the heaviest one in our group and it was almost like they were threatened at the idea. I have never had them be so UNsupportive about something ever. So they don't get to know now that I am going to pull the trigger and do it. This is a scary enough, intense enough decision without negative people planting ill-founded doubt in your head. If it was as simple as "put the fork down", none of us would be here in the first place.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your mother. Do you think it's worry? Take your time - tell them when you're ready and on your terms. Maybe make it clear how you feel about the decision up front - "I am really excited that I'm going to take control of my weight and use this great tool...." Right now my daughter, parents, brother & his wife know. At work my boss, my assistant, and one friend know. Everyone has been very supportive. My boss is even considering it for herself depending on how it works for me. I don't expect others to be unsupportive. In fact, I'm a little worried that it will make me and my weight the center of attention. That sort of attention has always backfired with me.

I agree with all the great posters, and the cute reference to Kat Williams, a hysterical comedian, and his 'haters' advice! It seriously made me feel better when I heard him joke that it was a good thing to have haters. For me, the people who have been the most unsupportive were the people who were weight-conscious, but never over-weight. Does that make sense? I.E. my half-sister who exercises every once and a while but feels she a guru because she stays in good shape, or my ex-roommate who was a nursing student who was on a strict diet of fat free butter and daily Chipotle (because THAT'S healthy??) and would give me lectures about eating burritos from local taco joints, but she's never been 10 lbs or more overweight. She admitted her father had a heart-attack and that's why her family started being a little more 'conscious' of food. When I first signed up for Lapbandtalk.com back in March, she looked on my Laptop and came into my rooms saying, "I need to talk to you." She treated it as some intervention, sat on my bed and told me YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT!! Like I was literally giving up on myself by looking into surgery. I took her whacked advice with a grain of salt, but started to notice a pattern iin who was supportive and who was not. Another big critic was my then best-friend, a girl who had lost 40 pounds on weight watchers with me a few years before. She maintained her loss, which I did not. But she had never been overweight before, and I had struggled my whole life. She admittedly had an eating disorder and had a binge purge type of diet. Anyway, the people that have bothered me about it have never truly had a problem or if they did, were unable to sustain it in a healthy way, and I do think it stems from jealousy. She still send me forwards to this day about failed BYPASS patients she read about in biology or nutrition class. So don't feel alone that you have haters. There's my story! I used to think exactly like you did about taking the easy way out, infact, that's what I thought it was when I started researching it (kind of...I mean..I thought I could get away with more than you actually can) II have done WW a million times and gained and lost the same 30 pounds, then self-sabotaged myself when I gained...I looked as the band to me an addition to a healthy lifestyle that I was allowed to slip on, but not allowed to self-sabotage anymore. Good luck.

Hi there, I'm new to this forum, and new to the entire lap band process I guess. I'm 23 years old, 5'5 1/2, and I weigh 261. I've always been a little "thick" but gained about 60 lbs in one year due to the Depo-Provera birth control shot. Being overweight is kind of accepted in African-American culture (as far as men go) , so at first I didn't mind, but my family is really unsupportive of my weight issue (name calling and nasty comments when I eat), and I recently found out that I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol so time for a change! I have my orientation tomorrow, and I'm really excited but a little nervous. Never had any kind of surgery before. Wish me luck!

I started out saying I was only telling the person taking me to the hospital (I was separated at the time). Then I had to tell DH after he moved back in. Then I told my mom (she can't hold water). I told my supervisor at work because I knew she would understand and not be judgemental. I told one good friend that I trusted. Now I have told a few other people, but I regret it. Some are going to watch everything that I eat and question my weight loss (or lack thereof).:girl_hug: I don't want the scrutiny. That has been my biggest issue from the beginning. I don't need the food police watching every bite that goes into my mouth. :smile2: I also don't need the unsupportive people in my life questioning why I have either lost too much weight (they are all heavy) or why I haven't lost enough weight after spending money on it. It is a lose/lose situation.:biggrin: I can only hope that as I am more comfortable with myself and my band that I will change my mind. :sneaky: I have a few family members that have looked into WLS that I think could really benefit from something like the band. I guess we shall see.

Have any of you 'divorced' your families? I know that sounds so mean, but my fathers' side of the family is absolutely awful to me, and I am getting ready to go have dinner with them (haven't seen them in months). They are just AWFUL to me, and blame my weight on my mother who is obese as well and act embarrassed of me. Last time my grandmother left a room I was in (on CHRISTMAS), she hugged me, grabbed my face with two hands, and at the top of her lungs said, "You are so gorgeous....STOP EATING!" and looked at everyone, laughing like she had finally put me in my place. My thin half-sister who never liked me constantly forwards me information on personal trainers and fad diets. My sister-in-law talks about how everyone BUT her always tells her "Can you believe how huge she got?" Like she is doing me a favor by tattling on me, when she is really just putting me down passive-aggressively. My grandmother left me a message saying that she saw on the news why I am fat, and it's because the "part of your head that tells you when you are full is broken so you just eat and eat and eat." Mind you, I never eat around them because I am mortified. I just seriously, cannot take this anymore. Grandma called yesterday because I finally agreed to come over and they are treating it like a huge deal, and she said "I never understand what to cook for you, tell me what you want, but it can't be donuts." I don't even like donuts? There is some old-person staple that makes them think I sit around and eat dozens of donuts? I don't even remember the last time I had a fricken donut. She plays it off as being nice and caring and wanting to "make me happy" but then I freak out and lose it on them and they all attack me saying I'm spoiled and picky and things always have to be just perfect for me. I ended up telling her, "You guys give me such a hard time with my weight, I will just eat at home!" Next morning I received the same call, this time she said, "I just don't understand which part of the chicken you can eat." Sorry to say this, but grandma is an idiot - always has been. All I am to them is an overweight person. They don't even know who I am. I'm 250 of disgrace, or something. Thanks for letting me vent, I just really really really want to talk to some people who have families like this. Sometimes I think the only reason I talk to ANY of them is because I love my dad so much. My mom says I should have nothing to do with them. PS they know nothing about my ventures to get a band, and clearly never will... Any advice?? Thank you so much

I think what you've said isn' rude, it's actually verbal and mental abuse. Your wife will never look like an 18 year old again, and either will you for that matter. Just imagine what she could say about your physique; and you haven't even bore children! 200 lbs on a 5'9" frame isn't "packing on the pounds" it's baby weight. You are so very fortunate that she didn't pack on the same pounds that you did. Have you ever considered that your wife's lethargy could be due to untreated depression. Having an unsupportive husband and just having children can make the strongest woman depressed.

It is totally up to you to tell or not! It's your business! I personally am a teller. I've even told total strangers. It amazes me how interested and nice everyone is about it! But I am in nursing school; a lot of my fellow students are more "up to date" on obesity in general and weigh loss surgeries than the general population. I've even told my friends on the WW chat board I frequent, and they have been WONDERFUL to me! But we aren't all the same. If anyone fussed at me about it I could blow them off with not problem because honestly, I don't need their approval and wouldn't care if I didn't get it. I'm the one I'm trying to please, and that's the bottom line for me. If you want to keep it private or don't want to deal with any fallout if you have unsupportive responses, then don't tell!

I have told everyone and anyone..lol.. I am proud of getting the lapband. I am saving my life!!! I look at it as a positive choice. So many of my friends who were banded were afraid of negative comments, I believe it weeds out the bad seeds.. I figure if someone give me a negative response just weed them out.. I don't want unsupportive people in my life. I have not had one bad comment. I am an outside sales rep and have told all my customers, friends and family. I think if you say it as a positive they feel it as a positive.. but if you say it like you are embaressed or in a negative way people can pick up on that.. I am excited and proud I did this!! I just want to shout it from the rooftops..lol

I am with JeepGal. I do not want to seem unsupportive, but the fact that you are gaining that much weight is kind of an indicator that you are not doing what you need to do to make the band work. I know every practice is very different in the kind of support/guidance they give, and it really does not sound (from your post) like your practice is giving you the support you need. I don't want to lecture you with info you already have, but I just want to make sure you know the most important rules to eating with a band, because not knowing can easily lead to failure. PLEASE do not be offended by this. If you know all of it, just skip it. But I would hate to see someone failing because nobody bothered to educate them on how to use their tool! NO SWEETS. Ok, we all know its not likely to give up all sweets completely, but if you are indulging in ice cream, cake, Cookies etc more than every couple of weeks....you have a problem. Even worse, these are usually soft calories (see rule two!) AVOID SOFT CALORIES. liquid calories are pretty much evil. You need to avoid soda, alcohol, juice (should only be used sparingly), any drink that has sugar in it should really not be a part of your life. But even more so, anything that dissolves too easily is bad. Not necessarily to be completely avoided, but not good. My practice gives this recipe (offhand I think its just vinegar and water) that you can mimic the environment in your body. Things that dissolve too quickly will go past your band too quickly. Mashed potatos, cookies, Pasta - they all dissolve quickly. The way lapband is supposed to work is by keeping the food in your pouch longer. If you eat too much of these foods, you trick your band. Protein IS KING. You should be basing your meals around solid protein if at all possible. This of course is meat, chicken, fish etc. These things take the longest to dissolve and will keep you full longest. Water IS GREAT. Well, most of the time. Try not to drink right before and after eating (consensus hovers around a half hour before and an hour after) so as to not push food past your band too quickly. The rest of the time, get that water in as best as possible. I struggle with getting my water in, but I can absolutely assure you when my water intake is up, not only do I feel better, but I lose faster. I really hope things turn around for you. Maybe if you can get like 10lbs off your doc will see you are trying and give you the fill you need. Best of luck to you!!

I am so sorry that you are going through this with your family. I too have an unsupportive husband and mother when it comes to this. I just had to decide who I was having this done for. I am doing this for MY health. My entire family (excluding dh) is overweight. They all have type II diabeties (including my mother who is in denial about it), high blood pressure, and sleep apnea, etc. I am pre-diabetic and now have high blood pressure. I don't want this unhealthy life! Just keep in mind that you are doing this because of you. I hope that everything works out with your insurance. Good luck on your journey!

I have unsupportive family members as weel. My sister told me I would die if I have the lap band. I think I will die if i dont. I do have a supportive husband but I have been trying to get him to het it too. He has high bp, high choles, acid reflux, severe sleep apnea, borderline diabetes. I would just try to get him to a seminar. Once he is there he will see a sucess story and maybe it will help him change his mind. I know it did mine. As for the rest of the family and friends just be strong in your convictions and prove them wrong. I told my sister that after I have my surgery SHE can have my fat clothes. Hang in there. He will come around.