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You cannot save your wife from herself. Stop beating that horse - it's DEAD. It is true that some people have made peace with their bodies, excess weight and all. The fact that your wife has not tried to work WITH her band tells me that she just doesn't WANT results bad enough. And you have to want results with the band. It's not magic. It won't do it for you. And you can't do it for her, nor can we. Is her weight a big issue for you? If so, this might be the one thing she can control and she isn't about to give it up, therefore she has sabotaged her success with the band (knowingly or unknowingly). Anorexics have the same problem, in reverse. It's a mental/emotional issue and has to be treated from that perspective. I have had good success with the band - not good luck, good success. Luck had nothing to do with it. I walked 3.5 miles today, as usual. I made good food choices. Hopefully, I will have the strength to do the same tomorrow. It's like being an alcoholic or a drug addict - one day at a time. I wish you and your wife the best. Please come back and keep us updated. I think maybe it's time to look into a change of meds. The Zoloft might not be working any more.

I have 18 years alcohol free. I am gonna have to watch myself close because I know that a lot of people who have gastric bypass will become heavy drinkers. You are one the right path! Congrats on being sober for a year!!!!

Hi, I am eight years post-op. I went looking for this site last year when I was at a pretty low point in my life. I had my surgery, I had lost weight, I was successful in my career and I was wallowing in alcohol abuse. I was at a point where I was pretty much drunk all the time. I want to warn everyone..I know you (or maybe some of you) want to feel "normal". I wanted to not be the lady who had had the surgery, I wanted to be like everyone else. I went to parties, ate what I wanted (after all, I couldn't eat much) and also, drank what I wanted. The weight started to go back on. I told myself that I would lose it tomorrow. Tomorrow never came. I put on half of the weight I had lost before I sobered up enough to realize how self destructive I had been. I called and made an appointment at a new surgery center with a new doctor. My previous doctor had never been supportive, the company had closed and changed hands etc...etc....etc. My new center sent me to a new PA (who is fabulous..by the way!) and she sent me to de-tox. I have been sober for a year and three months...something new to count. I have been losing the weight I had gained-slowly but steadily. I want to tell everyone...alcohol is something to really avoid. You may think you can handle it but, with the surgery, there is no way. I know that there is no one to blame but myself, no one made me take that first drink. Maybe I would have experienced this anyway, I don't know. What I DO know is that...there is no "normal". I will always have to follow the rules and that is the only path to success. My hope is that someone will read this and NOT take that first (or next) drink. You don't need to be numb and you can get help if you have gone down that path. Thank you for giving me the forum to put this out there, Deena

On the day after surgery, my surgeon came in and said surgery went well, and then talked to me about non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, which she discovered during surgery. She wanted to make sure I understood what it meant because it is in the surgical notes and she didn't want it to be a surprise, and also the causes and how to deal with it. She checked around my incisions, which are covered with steri-strips. On the next day, when I was discharged, she wasn't on call (it was a Saturday) but the covering physician came in and talked about the dietary requirements, exercise, and what to watch for in case my incisions became infected. I don't recall either of them mentioning bypass or sleeve, to be honest. I know my surgeon knows I wanted the sleeve. She even asked me why I'd changed my mind from the first meeting, to do the sleeve instead of the bypass. However, when the admissions nurse called me 2 weeks before the surgery, she said "bypass" and I said no, sleeve. She laughed slightly and said, "better change that!" or something to that effect. When I checked into the hospital on 9/15, I don't remember the admitting nurse mentioning the procedure at all; I just gave her my name and said I was scheduled for surgery with Dr. T at 7:30am and she started asking me to sign on the electronic pad for permission to treat and HIPPA. I just realized I didn't read the HIPPA form because I know what it says, but I didn't read the permission to treat form- in fact, none was offered and I was so anxious I didn't think to ask to read it. Honestly, I just remembered this as I was typing NOW, and I know it was stupid not to ask for the paperwork. The admitting nurse never offered paperwork, just said, "Please sign the pad for permission to treat, and again for HIPPA." And I don't remember anyone in pre-op asking what I was in for, just my name and birthdate, and they scanned my bracelet before they did each IV line and before giving me the pre-op meds. I guess bypass would be OK except it's NOT what I wanted, for what I think are very sound reasons. I'm sure it's just a paperwork error. Oh crap.

I've already stated I like the Quest bars -- they're the only ones I use. They use whey protein I believe, and a prebiotic fiber that I researched at some point, but no longer recall all the details. I only like the "original" line, which uses sucralose as a sweetener; they also have a newer line that uses erythritol I think?, which is a sugar alcohol and these generally don't agree with my system (though the one they use is meant to be the least irritating) and I find them unpleasantly sweet in a sickening way. I don't know the calories per protein grams, though I think they have about 20g of protein per bar and roughly 200 calories per bar (I'm not that fussed cos I don't count calories or protein grams, just try to eat a generally healthy and balanced diet).

I took a two week cruise 2 months post-op and just made serious choices and conscious decisions on what to eat at meals. I don't drink alcohol, so that wasn't a problem, but I read that if you do drink alcohol you have to be careful because with our smaller stomachs it'll get us drunker faster.

Alcohol calories are always the first burned, even when the body is in deficit, they are such a ready source of energy. So if you drink, and drinking, even white wine can certainly add up calorie wise, the rest of what you eat will only be burned after the alcohol, its really just sugar. Everyone here knows I'm no fan of high Protein diets but it is certainly true that if you take in sugar and readily burned refined carbs, then you are giving your body such an easy source of energy that it will always burn in preference to fat. Your body only turns to fat if your glycogen stores are fairly depleted, and that will never happen if you keep filling up on sugar. I like my wine too though, not sure whether giving it up is worth it to be 10lb lighter, lol.

A bit scary since some vsg patients replace their food addiction with alcohol.

I'm noticing people are thinking they have doctorates in medicine since getting sleeved ..lol. I drank twice. It was my version of a sugar free daqari ..with little vodka..no problem..drank it slow. But I'm no doctor..that's just what I did..and it was under 100 calories and I don't think I am a failure because.of it. I like to enjoy my journey ..this doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a alcoholic Lmao

I'd second the therapy, and add in a "medication". If you have depression or a mood disorder, don't hamstring yourself by drawing a boundary around medications. I'm not saying you HAVE to take meds - just don't start from a position of ruling them out. Keep an open mind. Stress is a huge regain trigger for me, and not in the typical comfort-eating way. Stress builds up in my jaw and throat, and is only minimally impacted by meditation and exercise. I find myself eating so that the action of chewing loosens my jaw muscles, and then the action of swallowing expands my throat. None of this is post-surgical in nature, it's all a weird stress-related physical tic, but it absolutely results in me eating more to alleviate pain but could SEEM like it's emotional eating. Alcohol relaxes those muscles too, and similarly adds calories. When I go on low-dose medication, those things are considerably reduced and I can manage the remaining stiffness with hot tea. Obviously this is one extremely specific case, but shows how completely quirky the causes for regain can be. I'd already figured these tics out with a doc a decade ago but if I hadn't, I'd want a therapist/doc to provide that outside-in perspective.

I have pretty intense dumping symptoms at 10 months out. Keep in mind, it doesnt matter if you're eating small amounts of healthy food-- merely eating too quickly can make me dump, or not chewing well enough. Sugar alcohols in sugar free items make me dump, and taking one bite too many can make me dump. It's a learning process. I prepared the same way, still got dumping syndrome, while others never claim to experience it. My Mom had RNY too, and she eats all the foods we're told not too: candy, pasta and bread, and never dumps. Meanwhile, I'm following the rules to a "T" and dump fairly often.

I'm actually having. A bourbon now out with a friend, he went to the bathroom I checked in here and saw your post. It's the third alcoholic beverage I've had since my sleeve, but I felt if ever I deserve one, it's now,

I’m in the same boat as you but six months ahead. In fact had my last of six nut apts yesterday. Just need lab work and X-ray and I can file for insurance approval. I lost six pounds then gained five over the last two months - when I went from having a drink every night to once a week - go figure! My wife had the same responses as you and I approached it as I’m going to go through the steps and then make the decision. I drop comments along the way to peak her interest because I know she will research it. I’ve discussed the biggest loser research, and most importantly the almost seemingly instant cure of co-morbidities. I periodically sent her links to articles as well. It’s unfortunate that WLS is so effective but so under utilized because of the stigma that’s it elective or you should try harder. I look at it as an addiction - do you tell an alcoholic to just stop drinking or a junkie to stop shooting up? No it doesn’t work that way and it doesn’t with weight loss either. Food is a chemical and mental addiction. She’s still not 100% on board but I’d say she’s now 75% and I know she would support me if I decide to go through with it which I’m getting closer to doing. One thing I asked her to do was keep it between us, which she didn’t do and she told my sister. Come to find out my sister is behind it 100% so that has helped. As others have said we can only do this for ourselves but having a spouse on board is very important IMO. I just finished Al Rokers book and now she is reading it. I find it’s easier if others tell my wife their opinion - then she listens more! I’ve read this forum up and down and there’s a lot of good info if you dig. I think the stigma that WLS is giving up is what holds back a lot of people from supporting it at first which is just a lack of knowledge.

From what I can see, you lost a heck of a lot of weight. Not that you should want to rub it in her face but dangit, you finally found what works for you and you are excited. Don't let her poo poo that in any way. Her issues with her own weight are separate and are her own. It is great she lost 50 of the 100 and she needs to see the glass is half empty and that is a good/great thing. She is halfway there! I'm sure it changes the dynamics of the relationship, but it sounds like you want to be happy and have worked hard for it. Being overweight is just awful,, and unfortunately it creates scenarios where many of our relationships are built around food. Just like an alcoholic likes to drink with drinkers. Smokers with smokers... She probably misses her old food buddy, but she needs to find her peace with your new gorgeousness!

Hell no! It's never easy, never will be. It's like being an alcoholic and quitting drinking, it's a life long achievement to eat properly and exercise. Some have it easier at first and no matter what they eat, the weight falls off, then 5 or 6 years down the road they learned nothing and it all creeps back on! But, it can be as easy as you make it by making eating right and exercise a habit!

Report from the Pittsburgh Tribune News GS Cookie Sales Crumble Nationally, cookie sales are reportedly down 19 percent from last year. Regionally, the outlook isn’t as dire. "I think the economy has something to do with it," Vance says. Since the cookie sale is the primary fundraiser for troops each year, Vance says decreased sales may hold girls back from great experiences in the coming year. My cookies have arrived, from not one, but two different Girl Scouts. I have no idea what my family ordered (remember I avoided that HERE) because I didn’t look. But I think my family help with the Regional Outlook being better…I’ve been told there are many boxes on our shelves…I’m staying away. This got me thinking about how I’m going to deal with my sweet-tooth as part of my lifestyle change. I’m a huge chocoholic and as you’ve heard me say so many times I’m all about starting into this change as a lifestyle change and not a diet, so it’s all about being able to make better choices without feeling deprived. I’ve never cooked/used many artificial sweeteners, but I’ve started some research on this. I’ve got some sugar free Russell Stover chocolates, individually packaged that work for me, so I thought I’d like to learn about artificial sweeteners, possibly even in cooking/baking. *Note I’m no Dr. or Nutritionist, I read a lot of articles and this was the gist of what I found out, I don’t claim to know what’s truth, and experts come down on both sides of the safety issues on all these. I started with the LB; What I’ve turned up so far is that several people have blamed band issues on artificial sweeteners…one declared that it was a major contributor to her band slippage, and many people have said their docs have told them not to use them (some say they cause sugar cravings). There are two types of sweeteners available on the market, nutritive and non-nutritive. Nutritive sweeteners provide sweet taste and a source of energy (calories). Their sweet taste comes from the presence of natural sugars glucose and fructose, alone or together, as sucrose. They are higher in calories than non-nutritive sweeteners, but they are all natural. Exceptions* - Common examples of nutritive sweeteners include typical table sugars (both brown and white), molasses, honey, agave nectar, and syrups such as maple and high fructose corn syrup. - Erythritol/Polyols, energy-reduced sugar alcohols: Slightly less calories than true sugar. Often called sugar replacements, these sugar alcohols are derived from natural sugars- fruits or produced commercially from dextrose. The most common include: sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol and maltitol. Products are Organic Zero, Zsweet, Sun Crystals. Gas and laxative issues. - Stevia: almost 0 cal. New product. Truvia*(Rebinia), PureVia* (*some say both have artificial additives), or raw/natural Stevia. Some say has a bitter aftertaste and causes gas (I’ve actually grown this plant in my herb garden before). - Whey Low: 75% less cal. than sugar. Fairly new product. Made with different sugars-sucrose, fructose, lactose; studies not clear on calorie absorption-they claim 75% less calories because of the way the combination of sugars acts to not be absorbed in the intestines. The only studies were done by the company. Some say more studies need to be done on this product. Non-nutritive sugar substitutes offer no energy (calories) and sweeten with little volume. Non-nutritive sweeteners include: saccharin, aspartame, sucralose, acesulfame potassium and neotame. For many of you who drink protein shakes, almost all of them contain these. - Saccharine: 4 cal./pack Sweet ’n Low- thought to be dangerous was almost banned by the FDA, but public outcry kept it as it was the only substitute at the time, and it used to be labeled ‘cancer causing in lab animals. Made from petroleum based products. - Aspartame: 2 cal./tsp. Nutra Sweet, Equal, Spoonful- some studies show that aspartame is dangerous/cancer causing and is considered dangerous by most, by law has to show PKU (disease in infants) warning. Found in Diet Pepsi/Coke, SF Jell-O/Pudding, and Crystal Light. - Splenda/sucralose: Says 0 cal, but it's NOT calorie free-has 4 per serving, which can add up if you’re baking with it, i.e. coke zero has 4 calories. FDA rule- they can claim 0 if it’s less than 5, the same is true for all packaging; i.e. they can claim something is 0 carbs if it is under 5 per serving. Splenda has sugar: maltodextrin & dextrose/corn syrup and sucralose, the process changes the sugar molecules and turns some atoms to chlorine (other chlorinated products include pesticides). So, although it’s made from natural sugars the process changes the atoms. Remember that everything is ‘natural’ it just depends how you define artificial vs. natural. Most consider this the safest low cal. nonnutritive sweetener, but there have been no outside studies. - Acesulfame K/acesulfame potassium: 0 cal. sold as Sunett, Sweet One- thought to cause cancer (no new studies underway). It’s found in Crystal Light, SF Jell-O & Pudding. - Neotame: Newer product. From amino acids- Clabber Girl Sugar Replacer, Domino Pure D’Lite. Many consider it to be much more dangerous than even aspartame, which was considered the worst. Used in many gums, Herr's pretzels. The bottom line of what I found out was that although there are opinions on both sides, one thing that most everyone can agree on is that even if artificial sweeteners aren't bad for you, they aren't good for you either. I'm no health food/organic nut, but even I was appalled at the lack of studies on these products and the role of big business in keeping these on the market (ie. Saccharin is only still on the market because Congress passed a 2 year moratorium against any ban of the product by the FDA when they wanted to ban it in 1977, which Congress has continually extended). Even Cyclamate that was banned by the FDA in 1970 is currently being reconsidered (I lived on TAB in my teenage years...no wonder I was so skinny). I don’t have time to read every nutrition label and I’ll probably still chose to eat some things with the non-nutritives like SF puddings (let's face it, obesity will kill me sooner than aspertame caused Cancer). As with most things…all things in moderation. I do plan to limit my intake of Crystal Light, which I have always drank to excess on every diet, and just up the water intake. I don’t intend to start baking with any of the non-nutritive, although I might look into some of the nutritive ones more. I think this will turn out to be like the rest of my theme for my ‘lifestyle change’ …I’ll be using real sugar, and just like other bad foods…in VERY small amounts. Besides, I love really DARK chocolate…Like Hershey’s 70%, which are lower in calories and higher in the good aspects of chocolate like antioxidants (cocoa has more antioxidants/flavanoids than green tea)…a tiny bite satisfies my chocoholic cravings. The cave woman got most of her sweets from fruits, which were seasonal, so she bulked up in the summer and fall to survive the long winter. So stick mainly with the natural sweets...nature knows best!

Nope, and I was a diet pepsi soda drinker. There are GOOD reasons why the surgeons say to eliminate certain drinks, alcohol, straws, NSAIDS, medications etc. Although it may be hard to eliminate soda, in my opinion it's in our best interest.

I'm 5 years out (2016) with GS and alcohol has been a sporadic transfer addiction since 2019 after my Dad passed away, then 2020 Covid...relationships...2021 basically LIFE to 2022. Ok, that's sugar coating... I saw it becoming a minor issue in late 2018, however, I was still working out and maintaining my weight loss. I made comments on another thread late last year about alcohol and transfer addictions after a bad night and it's now Feb 2022. I do ok..."for a while"...and then? Boom. Last Thursday I had a horrible regression into two bottles of wine, where ALL my feelings came out. They were Good, Bad and then UGLY. I'm not sure who that person was and I know that version of me can't live like that anymore. I got all my bloodwork done and know my health is stable....Got my roadmap there. This Thursday I'm starting some much-needed therapy for my mind and all these "feelings" (new or old) I didn't learn how to manage. It's time to be responsible and respect the mental with the physical...get my soul feeling balanced again. I still have my sleeve restriction and will be working on losing the 50 or so lbs I've gained over two years. I really appreciate posts like this and sharing your stories to inspire me...that I haven't failed and am not alone in some of the feels that were trapped in the "fat".

I'm doing brilliant 113 lbs down no alcohol what so ever I cant stand the smell of it so when I do go out its tea and water I drink I can't believe 6myself how are you doing

When I've been under huge stress, the urge is really intense -- it's a quest for that initial period of calm and peace that comes with a few sips. But our brains are terribly unhelpful at reminding us of what comes afterwards -- the decline of the calm and peace (which may cause us to keep drinking to regain them), followed by even more depression. And let's say we do keep drinking to try to keep the horrible feelings away... then there's the unbearable hangover that (in my case) will last for nearly 12 hours. People without alcoholic tendencies try to be helpful and say things like, "take a walk in the sunshine" or "listen to feel-good music" but they don't understand that those activities, while very helpful, don't bring the calm and peace that have quieted our disturbed minds. I think some of us just have different wiring. So what's the answer? First, I have to absolutely stay away from alcohol and fight the urges by reminding myself of their price. Second, I'm seeing if CDB will help me by allowing me to feel calmer and slowing my racing thoughts. Third, like you, I'm in therapy and my therapist constantly quizzes me about my feelings about alcohol and my current attempt to totally abstain. The toughest people I know who've given up alcohol say "ride it out" and they actually do push themselves through the bad feelings until their cravings pass. I hope to be one of those people eventually. But know that there are a lot of us who totally understand and feel your situation.

The pain for upwards of month after, not being able to tolerate food or foods that I enjoy, diarrhea, vomiting, heartburn, no alcohol for 6 months to a year, no nsaids, potential gallstones, hernia , Hair loss to name a few. *I had very little pain. *I tolerate nearly everything. Popcorn, meat, sugar, grease, pretty much everything. I can eat every single thing I've ever been able to eat. *diarrhea, vomiting, heartburn. Have had no problems with any of these. Have not experienced any nausea since surgery, no heartburn. *No alcohol. I'm not a drinker, but tried a sip of something about two months out and regretted it...it burned. After six months, I think I had a few sips of margarita with no issues... and found that a few sips was all it took...wow! I have a handful of drinks a year, but could notice a big difference in my tolerance. *No NSAIDS for a year for sure. My doctor lets me take a small amount now to treat migraines. I take them with an antacid, and never more than a couple of doses per month. *gallstones...I'd already had my gallbladder out. *hernia....was very glad to find and fix mine, and it wasn't caused by the surgery. Improved my quality of life drastically. *hair loss....I lost a massive amount of hair, but it grew back super thick...and CURLY. Had straighter hair before. No clue why it's curly now? Maybe the vitamins? Love my hair more now than before surgery. Hair loss is temporary and there are all sorts of strategies for covering thin hair for a few months while it grows back. (Mine was thin, but I didn't need to hide it)

Hello and Good Luck on your up coming surgery!!! We have a lot in common. Our surgery dates are the same, we read a lot, and of course we have the same fears!!! I asked questions of my psychologist and dietician at Temple, but realize after reading these boards not everyone gets all their questions answered. Regarding pre-op diet. I have followed mine to the "T", the previous post is exactly right about the liver etc. That being said, your mind and body plays tricks on you, so I journal, blog and I play my own version of Survivor. I keep telling my self this is getting my body ready for my "new life". The people I have chosen to tell are supportive, if someone says something negative or says something that sways my motivation "like, how can you only drink shakes?, or how can you only live on bites of food after your surgery?", I explain it to them, but I almost start to feel superior!!!!! I explained this to the psychologist and he said it is normal and that is a tool that would help in my success! I am not going to let people make me feel bad about my choices in life anymore!!!!! I'm done, so I think everyone should surround themselves with a great support system first and foremost and educate themselves and the motivation to succeed will come also! Regarding the post-op. My team has me following a two day clear liquid then two weeks shakes then progression to full, then slowly to healthy eating (I am speeding it up here!!!), it's explained to me simply but when I was stressed out about reading some of the failure rates. If you don't follow the plan EXACTLY, the likely hood of failure greatly increases (that includes, slippage, hernias, increase reflux, ulcerations, pouch expanding, etc). So it is important to learn healthy eating habits with this tool. The first thing they said is to avoid eating and drinking at the same time (your banding will act as a funnel, and flush the food out), drink 1/2 hour prior to and 45 min. after a meal to stay full longer. Eat Protein first, ALWAYS. You will always fill up faster and less bloating. Our neurotransmitters that tell our stomachs that we are full lay at the top of our stomachs so if the band fit in that area food hits those transmitters sends a signal to your brain saying you are full. Of course the trick is getting to the reason of why we have to stuff ourselves! Tips that Temple has gives me to help overcome this are: Like previously posted, chew your food (over chew actually) When we actually chew are food we start sending those signals to the brain that trigger those transmitters telling us that we are starting to get satisifed and in 15 min. we should be full. (that's why it helps to have a small stomach because it takes us longer to eat!!!! pretty cool huh!!! So don't over stuff never ever!!! The no no on eating and drinking together! Keep a food journal, this is a must!!!! I use one on my phone. Myfitnesspal.com It also has a forum great tool!!!! Exercise, we all know why this is important! Small bites, no carbination, preferred no alcohol for at least first 18 mths. No sweet drinks that slide through or ice cream!!! Call MD for anything out of ordinary and keep all appointments. I think these are the important ones that stood out for me, but I know this board can add to this!!!! They are great support. Peace, Joleen

You can try "lifestyle remedies" like elevating the head of your bed on bricks or whatever, not eating for the 4 hours before bed, avoiding foods that may be a trigger (tomatoes, greasy food, spicy food, alcohol, chocolate, peppermint, etc). If none of this works (there are other lifestyle remedies that I may have forgotten - try googling) you may need a revision to bypass unfortunately. It's a very common problem. Good luck!

I have just done over a week of cold turkey coming off my PPI after nearly a year. It is getting better, thank God for Gaviscon, and I am glad I did it. I am nearly drug free now. Apart from the alcohol of course.....:drool5:

OMG like fat people haven't had it hard enough. This ticks me off College's too-fat-to-graduate rule under fire - CNN.com How about a class for skinny people to put on weight or smokers to quit or alcoholics to stop drinking. Fat is the just the next target to pick on - they don't realize that we've been picked on and we have rage built up to fight back. Being overweight is one's on struggle - a college degree shouldn't be based on looks.