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I think if you had one glass of wine it shouldn't hurt. I wouldn't go out and get stupid drunk! We have friends over alot and sit out on the deck and have a cocktail or two. It is enjoyable. I was banded on 8/14/08 and haven't had any alcohol since, but I have an appt with my surgeon this week and am going to ask him if I can have a glass of wine once a week or so.

Oh! We all are bloody-well boozin! (chorus from my favorite Victorian Drinking song.) One of my weird personal observations is that when I'm in a High I also want alcholic beverages. I mean, I almost crave them. I'm not now, nor have I ever been an alcholic, but I'm certianly predisposed to being one. My Greatgrandfather was, my grandfather, my dad and 3 out of my 4 sibs are alcholics. Because I've always know of my family history, and the possiblilty of being predisposed, I've always been very careful with my alcohol use. When I'm on a High, alcohol has little if any effect one me that I can feel. No Buzz for me, no tipsy feeling no nothing. As an experimnet I'm gonna see if I can find some of those personal use alcohol tester that I've been told they sell at convinence stores. When I'm in a Low, I don't have any desire to drink. I just thought this was very interesting. Drinking Alcohol May Correct Stress-Hormone Malfunction http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/36/12/20-a A new study has linked an abnormal response in stress hormones to alcoholism and proposes that for a person with alcoholism, drinking alcohol may actually "correct" the abnormality. The reward of a euphoric response to alcohol that most people experience is known to be related to the release of stress hormones. A new study suggests that people who are alcoholic may actually drink alcohol for its apparent ability to help correct a dysfunctional stress response. The study reported two significant findings: First, some patients recovering from alcoholism, even after prolonged abstinence from alcohol, continue to have a significantly suppressed stress-response system. Secondly, their systems appear to be hypersensitive to serotonin. The study is described in the May issue of Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research. According to the authors, some patients who are alcoholic respond differently from nonalcoholic patients to stressful situations that involve the brain’s serotonin system and may drink alcohol under stressful conditions in order to "correct" their brain’s response to the stress. Subjects recovering from alcoholism were given fenfluramine to cause an acute increase in serotonin activity. This was then suspected of causing increased activity in the subjects’ limbic-hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (LHPA) axis—the system of interconnected brain structures that becomes especially active in response to stress—leading to secretion of the stress hormone cortisol by the adrenal glands. "Our major finding," said researcher Robert M. Anthenelli, M.D., "was that alcoholics who had been abstinent for an average of more than four months had a twofold greater cortisol response compared with nonalcoholics following administration of fenfluramine." Anthenelli, the study’s lead author, is an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine and director of substance dependence programs at the Cincinnati Veterans Affairs Medical Center. He said the finding is surprising in that it contrasts with most other published reports indicating a blunted or unchanged stress response in patients who are alcoholic, with shorter periods of abstinence. "We also found that the stress-hormone response in recovering alcoholics did not return to baseline levels as quickly as it did in age- and race-matched nonalcoholic control subjects. In other words, it appears that some of our recovering alcoholics had difficulty turning off the fenfluramine-induced stress response." While the authors did not directly speculate on the implications of the findings, other researchers have. "It is reasonable to speculate," said Stephen Woods, M.D., professor of psychiatry and of neuroscience at the University of Cincinnati, "that there are physical consequences of this." Whether the change in the LHPA axis is the result of prior brain differences or is a consequence of former consumption of large amounts of alcohol isn’t yet known, Woods said in a press release issued by the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse. "An interesting clue, however," Woods suggested, "is that the elevated cortisol response is reminiscent of what has been observed in individuals who have never before experienced alcohol, but who are considered at high risk for developing alcoholism. One possibility, therefore, is that the prolonged elevation of cortisol following fenfluramine is characteristic of certain alcoholism-prone individuals and can be observed either before they ever drink or after a prolonged period of abstinence." "We propose," said Anthenelli, "that this may represent a trait marker of alcoholism . . .that could distinguish subgroups of alcohol-dependent people or those who have a predisposition for alcoholism from people who do not." Woods thinks that the findings may suggest that the reason some people drink more alcohol and eventually become alcoholic "is that a ‘defect’ in their LHPA response to serotonin is ‘corrected’ by alcohol. If this were the case, then alcohol would have a greater degree of reward value for those individuals than for people who do not have the same ‘defect.’ " "Stress Hormone Dysregulation at Rest and After Serotonergic Stimulation Among Alcohol-Dependent Men With Extended Abstinence and Controls" can be accessed on the Web at www.alcoholism-cer.com by entering "Anthenelli" under "Author." {blacksquare} -------------------- Oregon 5-day work up 4/24 UFC 214 on 6/21 UFC 299 on 7/21 UFC 292 on 7/22 Cyclical Cushing's If it walks like a platypus, talks like a platypus, looks like a platypus, it must duck because it has a duck bill and besides, platypus are too rare around these parts.... UFCs crucial For Tyranny of the Jug Pee into the hat

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree:). If we had this willpower I doubt we would have needed wls in the first place. Plus if your having a hard time controlling a craving why would you want to put yourself in such a difficult situation to begin with. Better to set yourself up for success in my opinion. A struggling alcoholic would not be smart to go to a bar so why would we do something that seems very similar to me to ourselves??? This is a lifestyle change we have to make and in order to do so we must change our environment the way a drug addict would no longer hang out with user friends. Plus I totally agree that family can benefit from a healthier diet. It's not about the fact that my son is not fat. It's about the health benefits of a good diet not just being fat or skinny. Ok so now that being said I def agree that you can't change everybody in your life and to say that if so and so eats this then I can't succeed is definitely going to cause failure. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and choices for sure. I just think if you can change the lifestyles of others around you for the better then great:). If not then find a way to work around it. Mami I think you are wonderful and such an inspiration to me and to many others and I am in no way offended by what you said It's great and inspiring that your willpower is so strong. Just for some us that may not be the case:)

OK. So it has been 4 months since I was banded. I have been eating less and less. I weighed yesterday and my scale has not budged. Got so frustrated. I said screw it and made some pralines. Of course, hubby doesn't know that. I have hidden them and are secretly eating them without him knowing. Like a junkie or alcoholic hiding their drinking. Thing is, I know it's wrong but I do it anyway. No one one is forcing me to do it. I think to myself Just one more. Like a drug. I feel alone. Even with hubby in the house. And now he is admitting he needs to have surgery to repair a huge problem he has. I think I dread it more than he does and that is saying a lot. I remember how he was so many years ago with his other surgery. He does not handle pain well. It also doesn't help that he is a smoker. He is not pretty when he is in withdrawal. I feel guilty because I just want to run and hide. It's not like this condition arose overnight. I had some plans to go on a little trip with my daughter in a month, but he told me I may have to not go so I can take care of him. I figure if he has put it off for this long, he can put it off a little longer. Then I get to feeling guilty for thinking that way. Then I look for something to eat. Lord help me.

Wow. Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. I am sorry to hear how alone you are feeling but try to remember that there are so many people going through alot of the same issues that you are- reach out for support in place of that comfort food. I know it is much easier said than done but if you can do it just once a day it will minimize the negative effects of your emotional eating habits. Surround yourself with supportive people who won't judge you- even if it comes from the forum instead of people in your life. I went 3 months at a time on 2 different occasions without seeing so much as a pound loss and the less progress I saw the more I felt like it was pointless and it wouldn't hurt if I slacked off in the gym or snacked a little more since I wasn't losing anyways. I found myself eating with my emotions instead of my logic and then feeling guilty about it and doing the ol hide the evidence routine too so I know how that feels. This band only works with our discipline. But dont be too hard on yourself for slipping up- even for alcoholics the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. You've done that much. Changing your life won't happen over night and it won't come naturally but you can do it with alot of effort and focus. Stay inspired and stay hungry for your life instead of just hungry for food. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." If its an option for you, lean on your faith as much as possible and pray for strength and guidance. Im not married but Im sure it's not easy having to balance your need to take care of yourself with your duties to take care of your husband but I would think its impossible for you to give of yourself to your husband what you dont have to give. Judging by the way you speak of his surgery Im thinking its not something too critical? But if it is I guess that comes with the territory to deal with his issue first if it is more critical but if you were approved to be banded your health issues could be critical too. Just try not to lose yourself in all this chaos. You have every right to take the time out that you need for yourself to be healthy and happy. You have as much obligation to yourself as your husband so don't feel guilty about that. But it may do you some good to open up to your husband and let him know how you're feeling and come up with a plan to deal with both of your battles together so its not just all on you to care for him and yourself and therefore push you into the comforting arms of food. Focus on the good and not just the bad- you said the scale hasn't moved so at least you're NOT gaining! Thats a victory in itself for those of us fighting the battle of the bulge. Sorry I can't be of more help but if you ever need someone to vent to or an accountablity buddy feel free to message me. Dont hold in your feelings or they'll just show up on the scale. Best of luck and stay strong! You may have lost that particular battle with yourself but you havent lost the war. My prayers go out to you and your husband!

I have been following Weight Watchers for 2 weeks. The secret for me is sticking to 20 points a day plus the extra points. They wanted me to eat 26 points a day but I wasn't losing on that. I lost 2 lbs this week. My extra points are primarily for alcohol consumption. 1/2 cup of wine is 4 points so you can see how fast those points really do go. I love the point system. I pledged to myself to stick to it for 10 weeks and bought a 10 week pass. My goal is to lose another 10-15 lbs before I have plastic surgery. I think I can do that in 10 weeks. Also, keep in mind that 1 point is 50 calories. That is why I do 20 points day. That plus the bonus points typically puts me at 1200 calories a day. My doctor says that is fine. I am very happy following the Weight Watchers plan. P.S. I was on a plateau just being banded and was down 65 lbs, 105 preop. This has really jump started me again. Good luck. Let me know what you decide.

Once you get close to or into maintenance you’ll start working out what of your old favourites you can eat or want to eat again. There may be foods or drinks you say never again too, others that you may have occasionally. You might find more nutritious alternatives for some (like vegetable pastas or rice) or you’ll restrict your portion size of a particular food. I say I follow a reduce, restrict or avoid plan. I haven’t really missed anything I avoid or anything I restrict. It hasn’t stopped me going out to dine or socialising with friends & family. The foods I avoid, restrict or have reduced are ones that lead me down the path to my weight struggles so I’ve been happy to bid them farewell or to visit with only occasionally. I cut as much sugar (real, artificial & alternatives) out of my diet as I can but I still had some cake at a friend’s wedding on the weekend - just had two teaspoon. I probably won’t have any other cake, biscuits, desserts, etc. until Christmas. Processed carbs & starchy foods tend to sit heavily in my tummy too (even the vegetable pasta) so I avoid them. I drink full fat milk, cheese & yogurt. I do buy low fat milk at times but it’s usually because it has a longer use by date - LOL! I’ve never been great with carbonation so no real change there for me. If I want something bubbly like sparkling, soda or tonic water I stir it, sip it slowly & let it sit for a while so a lot of the gas escapes. I have alcohol about once a month but usually one glass over a long time. I don’t enjoy it as much. I had champagne at the wedding it just took me almost two hours to drink it. I eat about 60g of protein, 4 serves of fruit & vegetables, 2or 3 serves of dairy, 2 serves of multi/whole grain carbs every day. I haven’t taken any vitamins since 8 months post surgery (early maintenance). I have bloods taken every 3 months & all my levels come back great. But that’s my story & it’s been working for me so far. What you discover works for you will be very personal to you & how you want to live & enjoy your life. Many people continue to meet with their therapist post surgery be it to continue to work through issues or for maintenance. If you think it will help you, do it. Good luck with your surgery.

Okay, this post is not to bash the newbies or newts (not a newbie/not a veteran), although I can see how it could look that way. My sense of humor is dry/sarcastic and it's hard to convey that in print. I thought I'd start compiling some of the most commonly asked questions I see posted on weekly basis, just to show that you are not alone with your thoughts and concerns. Will all my hair fall out after VSG? "Individuals don't begin to notice the increase in hair loss when showering or brushing the hair until about three months post-surgery. Although the resting hair is being pushed out of the scalp by new hair that is already growing, it can take anywhere from about six months to a year for the hair to return to its normal fullness. Individuals who have undergone gastric bypass or other operations of the digestive tract designed to reduce obesity are more prone to hair loss post-surgery. This is due to the reduced intake of food in the weeks and months immediately following these procedures. The body needs an adequate amount of proteins and vitamins to maintain hair production. Protein-enhanced shakes are often recommended for these patients as a substitute until solid food can be better tolerated. Hair loss related to surgery typically reverses itself without any medicinal intervention or the need for over-the-counter hair loss tonics or treatments. However, maintaining a diet rich in protein and iron is believed to help promote and speed up healthy hair growth. Suggested foods include salmon, beans, eggs, spinach, broccoli, nuts and whole-grain cereals. Avoid foods that can inhibit hair growth, such as those that contain high levels of caffeine and fat." Losing Hair After Surgery | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/...l#ixzz2Maz1GjQH Can I take my leftover stomach home in a jar? Man, what kind of sickie... um I mean, that's a very astute question. I didn't ask my doctor about it, but from what I've read, it's considered medical waste and a biohazard in the U.S. So you can't have it as a trophy or to tan and make a beanie out of it. If you're having surgery out of the country, then they may let you take it home, just be careful going through customs. If they ask about it, just tell them you found proof that the Chupacabra exists in Mexico. Can't I do this with out the surgery? You know, eat the crazy small amounts and still lose weight? Why isn't that ok? You can eat the small meals to lose weight, and it is okay. I just couldn't live that lifestyle for very long. It was a non-stop battle to keep myself from eating more. How did you choose your doctor, how much did it cost, and how did you pay for it? I don't want to recommend my doctor, since I wasn't happy with the aftercare, but I paid about $5k between the doctor and hospital. I put it on a credit card and will have it paid off before the end of the year. I found my doctor by calling my insurance company and getting a list of approved WLS doctors. I did a Google search for each doctor and read the reviews before choosing my surgeon. Do you regret having WLS surgery? I do not regret it for a minute. Even with all the discomfort of the 1st 10 days, I am very happy with the result. Food is no longer the focus of my life and I love sitting at a buffet restaurant knowing that I will only eat about 1/4 plate of food. What do I need to pack for the hospital? Here is a long list of suggestions on things you might want to consider taking with you. http://www.verticals...surgery-thread/ How soon after surgery can I start drinking alcohol? I'm sure every doctor has their own recommendations, but my doctor said wait 6 months post-surgery before drinking alcohol again. I'm not a big drinker to begin with, so I didn't miss alcohol. But I did drink about 2 oz. of Tequila at month 6 or 7 and was buzzing immediately, more so than I would have been pre-surgery. So, if you're going to start drinking again, just be aware that it may take less alcohol to impair your system. :-)

I may not be a good case study, I have mostly an iron sleeve. I progressed through my stages faster then technically allowed (due to work travel), and it was no issue. The only issue I have is I get nausea/light dumping if I have too much sugar. I can do limited amounts with no problem, like 1/2 a candy bar, but larger quantities have led to regrets. Other than that I ate a wide variety of food, and drank different types of alcohol quite soon post WLS and had few negative consequences.

Lol @ gust avo!!! As a kid my best friend was so skinny, but I felt so bad for her, literally her only lunch was a green apple-she used to come over my place for dinner!!! now she's still rake/model thin but is addicted to McDonald's!!! Eats it once a day but that's all she eats!!! I'm just more about the psychology behind helping people relate to being overweight- shallow Hal was a nice movie like that, you know!? My mum describes it a bit like alcoholism, and I'm a smoker so I agree with 5doxiemom in that respect But it's seen in a different light by most people than alcoholics or drug addicts in that being fat is very visible and everyone thinks they have the right to comment on us... But how would they feel if we really could show them?!

If the bartenders give you crap about ordering a NA (non alcoholic) drink- just tell then you are a few weeks pregnant, smile sweetly and ask for your cranberry juice- I guarantee that will get you NA drinks w/o attitude! Also- maybe take Water shots instead of real shots. I don't drink but no one has really noticed cause I always slip off and order my own "shot" right before the big toast so I have something to join in with or when they are tossing em back- dump it on the floor quick. Maybe you even tell one of your friends and have her take all your drinks for you?

It's funny because I went on a date this week and tomorrow I have plans with some college friends... I'm more worried about the drinking and eating issue with my former roommates than I was on the date. The guy knows I had surgery but not what kind and has been very polite about not prying. He knows I can't drink for a while and this week was our first meal together so of course he wasn't going to say anything. However, tomorrow I'm worried about the pressure to drink with my friends. We go out to bars with the sole purpose of drinking and dancing. I've heard some of the places we frequent will refuse to serve Water. I've gone out and been DD or sober by choice but I usually have at least 1-2 beers and nurse them all night. Not being able to have a drop is going to look suspicious. Plus, one of the girls just got engaged so I can only imagine how much "toasting" they are going to want to do! lol I was planning on saying something about not drinking due to medications but I found out a friend of a friend is coming also... who is a pharmacist. I really don't want to get hassled about it but I'm not sure all of these women will be supportive and/or not blab it to everyone so I don't want to 'fess up just yet! I'm a little worried and it sucks. I tend to get defensive in these situations and I don't want to make it a huge issue but I'm committed to the 6 months of no alcohol my doctor wants.

I think each person has to try it out for themselves. I know some low carbers who can eat the sugar alcohols, subtract them and lose weight beautifully. Others, as mentioned here, get bad cravings triggered and stop losing weight. I guess the answer is...your mileage may vary. For me, I can eat the sugar alcohols and still lose weight, but if I eat too often, it does spin me out on cravings.

I have had tequila/orange, margaritas and wine with no problems. Sometimes I will have a beer but I reduce the carbonation by either putting in tomato/clamato juice and/or ice. Sometimes the beer works, sometimes it don't. The big issue is alcohol minimizes weight loss so I limit it to 1-2 drinks per week.

Giving up beer was my only fear with the surgery. The surgeon told me it's not the beer it's the carbonation. I have switched over to a margarita or liquor and sugar free mixer. It hasn't been bad at all. I only drink alcohol once every week or two. I've had no problems and I feel the effects quicker, so Its cheaper. The one difference is that no eating while drinking or you get too full to do either.

I'm a bourbon/scotch/fine wine snob who drank too much of it. I stopped two weeks before surgery and told all my buddies, I'm just doing Water until Jan 31. Be interesting to see what my tolerance will be. I do have one extended family member who gained everything she had lost after the surgery because she started drinking empty calories (and then would graze). If you are worried about suddenly quitting before surgery, this was a helpful article for me: http://hamsnetwork.wordpress.com/2010/10/09/more-on-tapering-off-alcohol/ Relearning everything is part of the challenge Kirk

You know, it is funny, if you mention alcohol, you hear about empty calories, blah, blah. I know they are emply, but I love an IPA, such as Sierra Nevada Torpedo. I am getting sleeved on Sept. 24, so I am worried I will miss it too much. You still have to live your life.

So I will copy and paste from the other thread as well... In all honesty, when I first decided I wanted WLS, I wanted a band. I had long thought about RNY but I was worried about malabsorption, and the restrictions due to medication. Even though I don't take any medication on a daily basis, (God willing) I have a lot of life yet to live and I didn't want to be restricted in any way due to having WLS. So I focused on the band. When I learned about the *possible* negatives to the band, erosion, slipping, cracked tubing, ports flipping, etc. even that didn't scare me away as much because honestly that stuff can be replaced. But when I learned about PBing your food or your medication, or God forbid, Water...that sealed the deal. I will do just about everything humanly possible to avoid having food come back up. I've never even drank so much alcohol that it made me vomit. Never! I've also never thrown up or slimed or PB'd or anything remotely like that since being sleeved 3 years ago. Not even right after surgery...had the patch behind my ear to keep nausea at bay. There are long-term band people who will say "I've only PB'd 4 times in 4 years!" but to me, that is TOO many! I decided that for me personally that I can't live like that. I also believe that with the band there is always a chance of having to do another surgery (as I mentioned parts can break and slip, but they can also be replaced) but for me I wanted ONE surgery and DONE. I didn't want to have to worry that in 2, 5, 10 years I would need to go back in and have a tune-up on anything. I've been sleeved for over 3 years and seriously have not had one single complication. Surgery recovery was pretty easy, I don't take any type of PPI (no reflux), and now 3 years later I still don't take any medication for anything. I'm healthier now than I have ever been in my entire adult life. The sleeve also puts me in control. I decide WHAT I'm going to eat, WHEN I'm going to eat it and the sleeve pretty much takes care of HOW much I can eat at one time. I max out at about 3-4oz of dense Protein. I can squeeze a bit of "other" food in there but my meals rarely go over the 5oz mark total.

Okay I'm going to open up a little about something because I so feel what you're going through right now Cloe. About 6 weeks ago I started to really feel like I was going to come out of my skin. My inability to control my stress and anxiety was taking over and I felt like I was going to completely fall apart. For 2 and a half decades I ate my pain,stress,fear,anger...everything...I ate it away. Now here I was with the inability to sooth myself with food and I DID NOT know how to cope with that. So I joined Over eaters Anonymous. I wanted to know how to incorporate normal coping mechanisms into my life. Though my overeating wasn't in mass quantities at one time, I knew I was still dealing with an addiction of sorts. It could have been alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling...any of those....it just happened to be food. I've only been going for a couple of weeks....but I feel better for going. It's one or two days out of my week that give me the small glimmer of hope that maybe I can beat this. We all know that the band doesn't do all the work...and I am definitely finding alot of the head work more difficult than the changes I've had to make in the kitchen. Stay focused Cloe....things will get better. Ultimately your daughter is at the age where she's going to make her own choices regardless of what you say....as much as it sucks there really isn't anything you can do about it. I'm sure there were many many times when my mom wanted to strangle the life out of me....but she had to just let me go...I wish I had known how hard that would be...I have a 14 year old and it's so hard already...lol...I can only guess what the next 5 years will bring. My thoughts are with you...take care.

Ghost, This really does seem like one of those situations that more effort either needs to be made during the yr for more interaction or less effort during the holidays. I personally do not see the point in having your holidays so stressful for someone ( although your dad) who a relationship has to be so forced. Also for your husband , I use to try to force a relationship on my husband with his father. I "thought" they needed to be closer. I would call his dad and put him on the phone . Finally i told hubby you need to be closer to your dad , he told me " NO I dont YOU do NOT know what he put us through as kids, ( it was a VERY bad child hood, his father was an alcoholic and drug addict , my husband ended up living on his own at 14) I have no desire to be around him unless ihave to " And when I stopped calling , the calls stopped. He doesn't call now . He doesnt send pics, he has no desire to even be in contact. Sometimes just because we are family does not mean we get along and can be around each other. GOod luck i hope ya'll have a good holiday . Try not to stress so much. Love Mindy

@ - the lady on the train who complimented you made up for the j@ck@ss at work. Do not allow his comments to continue and try to not respond, just head to HR. I HAVE responded to an a**hole (hung over alcoholic)about 20 years ago at work when he decided to literally cuss me out and I just went off with every 4 letter, 6 letter word I could think of (made up a few). If I hadn't retaliated I could've had him reprimanded. He had been making snide comments for a couple of weeks and I was over it and let it go. Funny thing was that our boss (an alcoholic as well) stood right there and watched the whole thing go down. He (boss) stood there shaking after it was over and said I didn't know what to do (?). This forum is for ranting and raving and for those who don't realize that need to sip another cup of coffee, and take their hands off the keyboard and READ!

http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/healthy-eating/6-of-the-healthiest-alcoholic-mixed-drinks.html Here are some options.

I just hit my one year anniversary and have been on maintenance for 8 months. I can eat anything and it doesn't bother my sleeve. I don't measure or track my food. Never have during this process. 5/6 small meals a day. While I was losing I ate very little carbs. I still follow the general rule of Protein first and then veg and carbs. Except when I have oatmeal but then I add some unflavored protein to it. When I snack it's usually Skinny Pop. When I go on vacation or have a fun weekend with treats I make sure I am back on track when I return. I stay within a 2 lb range. I also work out every day. I don't drink carbonated drinks or alcohol. coffee with a little creamer, Water, or Powerade zero are what I drink. I was just downgraded from my Gold Status at Starbucks to green because I rarely go anymore. Not a bad thing since it saves me money and calories. I will have some pumpkin pie filling on Thanksgiving. Best of luck- LA

He's right! My nutritionist said the same thing today. Protein Protein Protein. We don't really eat veggies for weight loss. We eat then for the vitamins and fiber. She also said that most of the protein shakes are fortified with the same vitamins. I started the pre op diet Monday on my own to see if I could do it and I'm down 8lbs from my last weigh in last month. I know I probably gained some last week because I went on vacation for the week and all we did was eat and drink alcohol! Hubby's right!!

frust8 - thank you for sharing as well. There are far too many of us out there. 1 in 4 girls/1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18 - 90% by someone they know, 68% by a family member. Most just never tell. Many combat their abuse through addiction - dissociation - drugs/alcohol/illicit sex - they continue to abuse themselves for it makes the pain bearable. Dr. Judith Herman, in her book Trauma and Recovery, states: “Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and intimacy――burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.” And on the subject of why people often don't believe the victim - but rather side with the adult - “It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.”