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Showing results for 'unsupportive'.
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Maybe not keeping it a secret?
Lovelycurves replied to groovykg's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I also don't mind who knows my business.. I've told total strangers! I want and need wls so badly that if people want to judge me for "not doing it on my own" they can go eat shit! I've tried for many many years diets pills not eating and exercising and instead of the weight coming off i've seemed to pile it on. So i've told anyone and everyone. I'm not ashamed of this there is no reason. Sure people talk but does it really matter what they say? Hell no! Although I've not had really anyone be unsupportive but I have had a couple people who were retarded and jerk offs about it but just let it in one ear and out the other. Good luck and hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. -
Cleo, the hardest thing for me was actually getting my head around the fact that my body COULD be sustained on a 5th or so of what I had been consuming before my surgery. I was an overeater and binger, and so this has taken some time to get used to, but I am getting there. I mean I FEEL full after about 1/2 - 1 cup of food now, which is the point of the band (and I knew this!) but it took a while for my food addicted head to catch up and realise that this is ok and I can put the fork down when I feel this way. I've been lucky in that I haven't had any of the issues that some bandsters have (touch wood!) with reflux and PBing and unsupportive Drs, friends and family and such. I think we all face our own challenges with the band. It is a life change, and we all make the decision to go ahead with it for our own many and varied reasons. That said, not a day goes by that I don't think to myself "I wish I had of done this sooner".
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Seeking Buddies 5'2" & Under
Notsolilmama49 replied to ladymacwhiz's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I am 4'8.5" 179# getting sleeved in mexico next month. Desperately need buddy our mentor husband is totally unsupportive. Making me rethink doing this. -
December 2013 Sleevers Come In!
sknyinside replied to AtlantaRed's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
After reading all of the post about unsupportive friends and family members, I have to say, I am so fortunate. I have many coworkers who have had this done and they are all extremely supportive. My family knows the struggles I have had over the past 25 years with my weight. They have seen me fighting and fighting and it has been a losing battle. LOL I am at other end of the spectrum. I have told everybody I am having it done! If has inspired so many people to start the process of research and looking into it for themselves. If anyone has not been supportive, they have kept it to themselves. Of course I have had concerns friends who although they don't want me to have the surgery, a very supportive of my decision. They understand my reasons for it. If there are haters they are flying under my radar and that's Judy fine with me -
December 2013 Sleevers Come In!
sknyinside replied to AtlantaRed's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
After reading all of the post about unsupportive friends and family members, I have to say, I am so fortunate. I have many coworkers who have had this done and they are all extremely supportive. My family knows the struggles I have had over the past 25 years with my weight. They have seen me fighting and fighting and it has been a losing battle. LOL I am at other end of the spectrum. I have told everybody I am having it done! If has inspired so many people to start the process of research and looking into it for themselves. If anyone has not been supportive, they have kept it to themselves. Of course I have had concerns friends who although they don't want me to have the surgery, a very supportive of my decision. They understand my reasons for it. If there are haters they are flying under my radar and that's Judy fine with me -
December 2013 Sleevers Come In!
sknyinside replied to AtlantaRed's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
After reading all of the post about unsupportive friends and family members, I have to say, I am so fortunate. I have many coworkers who have had this done and they are all extremely supportive. My family knows the struggles I have had over the past 25 years with my weight. They have seen me fighting and fighting and it has been a losing battle. LOL I am at other end of the spectrum. I have told everybody I am having it done! If has inspired so many people to start the process of research and looking into it for themselves. If anyone has not been supportive, they have kept it to themselves. Of course I have had concerns friends who although they don't want me to have the surgery, a very supportive of my decision. They understand my reasons for it. If there are haters they are flying under my radar and that's Judy fine with me -
A thread for super-sized bandsters - starting BMI over 50?
misschrissie67 replied to Wheetsin's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
:help: I dont know about the rest of you, but I really wish now that I had kept my mouth shut and not told everyone I was having surgery. :speechles I thought by sharing with everyone that I was educating people and maybe encouraging others who are battling obsesity. And I dont know, maybe I am. But I am really frustrated with select few coming up to me every week asking the same :censored: questions..... "How much have you lost? Are you following your diet? Are you exercising? How much? What size do you wear now? I thought you would have lost ALOT more with surgery. Was it worth it? Wow you spent all that money and only lost _ lbs. Can I have your old clothes?" And one even have the audacity to come up to me in a restaurant while at lunch and say "oh I just came to see what you were eating ." :heh: Hello people! When did the world get so rude?! I am really frustrated. Yeah, I thought I would be losing faster too, but I am not telling my unsupporters that. I keep telling myself I didnt get to 380 overnite and its not going to come off overnite. The scale is moving in the right direction and thats all that should matter. right? Well I totally understand now why some people chose not to share with the world about this journey. Wishing I had been that smart. :phanvan -
December 2013 Sleevers Come In!
sknyinside replied to AtlantaRed's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
After reading all of the post about unsupportive friends and family members, I have to say, I am so fortunate. I have many coworkers who have had this done and they are all extremely supportive. My family knows the struggles I have had over the past 25 years with my weight. They have seen me fighting and fighting and it has been a losing battle. LOL I am at other end of the spectrum. I have told everybody I am having it done! If has inspired so many people to start the process of research and looking into it for themselves. If anyone has not been supportive, they have kept it to themselves. Of course I have had concerns friends who although they don't want me to have the surgery, a very supportive of my decision. They understand my reasons for it. If there are haters they are flying under my radar and that's Judy fine with me -
Hi Bmanns01, I've been there. You are NOT alone! We've been talking about this exact topic in the Unsupportive partners make me so angry! forum. I'm having surgery next Tuesday and I'm going alone BUT these forums have been so helpful. You are doing what you feel is best. We are all doing what we feel is best for our body, our health, and our mental state of mind. My parents, children, husband, siblings all think I am making a bad decision, but I'm not going to let their negative energy affect me. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and it was a struggle but when I weighed myself today and saw I lost 6 lbs, I knew I am on the right track. This just motivates me to keep going. I met with my PCP yesterday and she intimately knows my struggles and she was very happy for me for taking this step. This motivated me as well. So I will get on the plane on Monday, by myself, and do what I have to ensure my journey is successful. I am here for you too anytime you need to talk!
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How was your 5:2 day today?
CowgirlJane replied to Oregondaisy's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I have had a volume incrrase. NUT said to literally eat dense protein first. Example I was having salmon Cesar salad by crumbling salmon over the lettuce. She said to try eating the salmon first and then. The salad. It makes a difference. Damn kids gave gave me a bunch of treats but what I can't resist is the soft individual wrapped gourmet cookies. I have eaten 4 out of 8...grrr Anyway I think many of us have some work to do in January.! I am completely over people remarking on bow little eat but when I there man I have been dating for 3 months makes jokes about how much I like food, how I can pack it away -then I feel insulted. Truth is my appetite is strong but I still eat small portions so I don't know why he'd say that just seemed unsupportive. -
Dr. Gerald Kirshenbaum - Considering Dr. Kirshenbaum
ShelbiCallie replied to Shesha's topic in Weight Loss Surgeons & Hospitals
Hi Aviatrix, Wow -- I'm sorry that you had such a terrible experience! I read your first post in the General Support thread and my heart goes out to you -- sounds as if you've had a very, very difficult journey with your band all the way around for the last 3 years (dead surgeon, unsupportive PCP, little weight loss, overfills, reflux, nausea, sleep problems, etc.) Maybe it's time to ask for a referral to a GI specialist/radiologist to do a series of GI studies to determine exactly what's up with your band?? Maybe it is slipped (God forbid!) and a routine fill is just not going to be the answer? Bless your heart! If Dr. K isn't a good fit for you, I'd say try one of the other LB surgeons in the Denver area (I'm concluding you're local, sorry if your not), give them your history, and get a referral for some GI testing to see exactly what you're working with here. I hope this all gets worked out for you -- you've been through so much and you deserve to get healthy like everyone else on this journey. I'm a nurse and I had a very positive experience all around with Dr. K and would go back to him in a heart beat, but everyone has different needs, It sounds to me as if you need more than a fill. Hang in there and don't give up! -
5 Confessions (Join In)
babywools replied to ebthompson2010's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
My five pre-sleeve confessions: 1. I am really scared and excited at the same time about the surgery. What if it doesn't work for me? 2. I have been eating non stop lately. I guess n preparation for not eating. (Bad I know. I don't have a date yet!) 3. I want the process to hurry up. I think about jumping in a plane to Mexico every day instead of waiting and going through the steps here. 4. My DH makes fat jokes all the time and is very unsupportive of everything. I am not sure how I will manage "alone." 5. I am really looking forward to being healthy and sexy again. -
Wow what a dick. That made me so so so mad. No one can tell you you're eating the wrong thing except your surgeon, nut and yourself. Stuff him, the unsupportive git needs a good slapping. Angry on your behalf mommy
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Hi there. I was banded on March 18, and just started the "soft foods". Things are going great so far, but I was dismayed to find out that I don't get "adjusted" for 4 weeks. Bummer. I want to get this show on the road! I have a good 100# to drop, and about 10 medications that I hope to shed in the next year or two. I'm hoping the forum can keep me informed about personal experiences you have had along the way. I don't have any family support - I have family unsupport - so I am glad this forum is available. Thank you for being there. Mamamia
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well hopefully today i can set up my surgerydate, my family seems a bit scared and unsupportive :/
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Negative Reactions...from other WLS patients???
emjay replied to ChicagoWinter's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
My theory as to why people who have had other types of WLS are unsupportive is that they probably don't want to feel like their decision to have the type of surgery they did was perhaps the wrong choice. After all the information people sift through to make a decision on the type of surgery to have, they don't want to be made to feel like their choice may have been incorrect. I know it sounds odd, but when they have had success with 1 type - that seems to be the one that they will say works the best. Not necessarily true, it just worked for them. Let's face it, there are different types of WLS for different types of situations. If I had been honest, gastric bypass would have been probably the most logical choice for me given the type of eater I was, BUT, that being said, one thing that the Lap Band has done for me is CHANGE the way I eat and what I eat...something that gastric bypass may not have done. With gastric bypass, I don't think I would have changed my eating habits after the "honeymoon" period of being able to lose weight effortlessly and would have piled it right back on. I feel with the Lap Band, it has changed the way I eat, what I eat, and how I eat in a positive way. Will I stray from time to time, oh yes, I'm sure. That's my nature. And when I have, I've been able to reign it in, I don't gain as much as I would have without it, and I'm able to jump right back following the band rules immediately. I'm only 10 months out, still a relative newbie, but the Lap Band has taught me many things that the physicians and the literature don't tell you. They don't tell you that the band will change your mindset, but in my case, it was the tool that has allowed me to eat anything in moderation and be satisfied, and by being able to do that, has helped me overcome many of my food issues. All types of WLS have their purpose. It's just figuring out which one is right for you. -
So I live with one of my coworkers - had reservations about it, but it was just the best option financially as we we're both mid-twenties and not "settled down." I didn't tell her or anyone else that I was planning to get surgery, just said I was going on vacation to Mexico. Explained away my pre-op diet by saying I wanted to lose some pounds before going. Unfortunately, there's a lot of crossover between my job and my social life, and it got really hard having to avoid situations with food and alcohol, worrying that everyone wondered what was wrong. Also I did have to tell my roommate after getting back, and I felt guilty thinking that she'd have to lie if anyone asked her what was up with me. It's a tiny office and yesterday our boss was out, so I decided to tell my supervisor. I say "supervisor" but she's only a few years older than me and we hang out socially, so it's really just a title. Anyway, I tried to bravely tell the story with a smile on my face, and was all ready to explain how I didn't mean to be secretive, just needed some time to get used to things before I started telling people. I never even got the chance - she blew through a few judgmental questions ("Did you go to a really reputable clinic or something?" Ummm, NO, I just had it done in a rusty van behind a 7-11! I mean what kind of question is that?!) and then insisted that the reason I was tired at the end of the day was not that I'm recovering from surgery but that I'm starving myself and not getting enough nutrients. When I tried to explain that I actually have seen a nutritionist and there are plenty of ways to make sure I stay healthy, she just ignored it. On top on it, my roommate starting piping in saying she'd "never seen me eat anything" since I got back. I've had Jell-o, Protein shakes, Soups, yogurt, etc. all in front of her!!!!! It was so unsupportive and just ended up feeling like a humiliating ambush. I didn't even get a chance to finish before they just changed the subject and I pretty much just slunk away. I already forgive them - they haven't done the research I have and I can't expect them to understand. It just made me feel awful, and now they will go and tell people what a "crazy" thing I did. I never should have said anything, it wasn't their business to begin with. It's just really hard to keep up a lie, and I thought I'd be saving myself trouble. Might I add that I got this lecture while they sat there drinking soda and stuffing their faces with brownies! Like that's so "healthy and nutritious"!!!!
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Good day. I hope it's okay to post here. My husband is going to have gastric sleeve surgery on April 9th. Are there any forums for spouses? I'm on board with the surgery, but would like to talk to others who are spouses/partners and how they are dealing with the surgery. I'm thin (always have been) and very active. I look forward to my husband getting healthier and being able to do physical activities with me. I want to be as supportive as possible. That said, I have to admit I'm going to miss our weekly dinners out and such. I wondered how others dealt with the new "normal". Good luck to everyone and thank you in advance for any help you can provide. PS: I wanted to cry reading the posts about unsupportive spouses. I hope you find a good support system.
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So I'm 4 months post sleeve surgery and down 40lbs. My unsupportive husband decided he wasn't in love with me and we are in the process of divorcing. The divorce was no surprise. Unfortunately he didn't want the marriage or work for it like I tried. Anyway I'm looking forward to dating later this year and meeting new people. I'm 30 yo. But food and alcohol are often part of the dating process. Luckily I never was much of a drinker. I can only imagine going out and eating 4 bites and being full. How do you deal with this? What about the scars? When do you tell your sleeve story? I'm excited but scared of dating. Any advice from fellow sleevers is appreciated.
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The first doctor I went to became completely unsupportive when his office found out that my UHC policy requires a BMI of 40+. I have a BMI of 37 with two co-morbidities so I know I will eventually be able to get approved. Even my HR department just said "send in a letter of medical necessity and it will go through." So anyway, I'm hoping to find a Dr. whose office staff is ready for a little fight and doesn't panic when things aren't going to go super easy!! I've read good things about Dr. Ferrari on another site, but haven't seen too much about him on here and I have come to really trust/appreciate everyone's opinions on here! Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!
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I am just starting the process to getting sleeved.
heidikat72 replied to LifeRejuvenated's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Welcome to this wonderful, crazy and yes, sometimes frustrating ride! You will find a lot of great advice and support on this forum - although, it may not always be what you want to hear. That tough advice is often the best though. For your own peace of mind - choose very carefully who you tell about your plans for surgery. Most people, unless they have had or at least researched the surgery themselves, know very little but think they know everything and can be very judgemental about. And even more, just don't understand the concept at all and may not mean to be unsupportive but if they've never struggled with weight themselves, don't get that it isn't as easy as "going on a diet". And you will most likely hear from those types that you are taking the "easy way out" - which just shows their ignorance because there is nothing easy about undergoing surgery and having to completely change your relationship with food. Check with your insurance company now regarding their policy for weightloss surgery and ask for it in writing. They should be able to clearly tell you if THEY require any sort of medically supervised period prior to approving you for weightloss. Some don't require any, some require 3 months and some (like mine) require 6 months. If you do have a 6 month period - don't get discouraged. It will go by MUCH MUCH faster than you think! I'm actually thankful I had that 6 months to prepare. It gave me time to get all the pre-op testing done (and don't worry if one test comes back with a result that requires additional testing) and more importantly do my own research and fully prepare mentally for this. It also gave me a chance to work on changing my eating and starting to practice a healthier lifestyle prior to surgery. This gradual change in eating/exercise helped tremendously with my initial recovery from surgery. Best of luck to you and keep us updated on your journey! -
Tomorrow I meet with my family practicioner to talk about a 3 month weight loss plan that will make my health insurance happy so I can have the surgery. I'm kinda scared that the dr will just say to me "well have you thought about diet and exercise?" I'm kind of expecting that answer from him because he seems the type. The problem is that I need his recommendation for my insurance to approve the surgery. Has anyone else had a problem with their doctor being less than supportive about WLS? What have you done about it? Has anyone had to switch doctors because of this problem?
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Lap Band Surgery & Divorce or Happily Married Ever More?
gkeyt replied to Sooner's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
One of my instructors recently repeated some old wise wisdom to our class: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! That's why (in a nutshell) a lot of us end up going this route. The old way wasn't working. It works for some people and that's great, but the statistics do show that 95% of people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it all. In the end I just didn't have the energy to do it anymore, and I didn't want the toll it would take on my body to keep that up any longer. But, all that said, there are some common reasons that spouses seem unsupportive or even angry over our WLS. The most common one, I think, is that they are scared that something will happen to us in surgery. Others include: afraid you will leave them after you lose weight they have their own weight (or other) problems that they might have to face they enjoyed eating together the way you always have, and don't want that to change they didn't know what to say to be supportive they don't want you to think they didn't love you when you were fat they don't know what will change about your future life together they don't want the surgery to fail and see you disappointed I'm sure there are lots of others, but those are the ones I've seen the most. My husband went through most of them too. Once I got through surgery without any problems, he was great. And he's been extremely supportive, especially since he's seen how my life and my health have improved so much since I've lost weight. There is a lot of insecurity and fear. The only thing to do is talk to him and try to make him see why you are doing this (for yourself and for those you love) and just wait it out. He'll come around when he sees you are healthier and you are still there. It's hard, though. Good luck, keep coming here for support in the meanwhile, and try to help him through this. He's going through the surgery as much as you are, it will affect him almost as much, so just remember that. And if it's something that would benefit him too, later, maybe he'll make that choice when he sees it work for you! -
Well here I am 2 months today since getting the sleeve, where does the time go. I remember debating over this, mostly with myself for over 3 years, before deciding to do it. I must say, I have told anyone and everyone, and not one person has been unsupportive. I had someone tell me yesterday I looked great and they were jealous they have not had the nerve to do it, felt good, I gotta admit. I am still disappointed in my slow weight loss, and even the surgeon unexpectedly called me yesterday, and said he knew at the last appointment I was upset the weight loss was so slow, but he still thinks slow and steady is best. I am down 22lbs since surgery, and 37 lbs with preop. I thought I would be about 10lbs more by now. I am doing all I can, I do not stray from the plan. I am trying to up the Protein, and the Water. I also signed with a trainer, as recommended by the doc, to start strength training. I love reading this forum, it really helps and I try to read some each day. Thanks to everyone for their support and encouragement through some other posts I made regarding the slow weight loss. Hopefully I will catch up to those who seem to lose alot faster then I am, and as the doc said, 11lbs a month is good, and in 1 year, that will be too much. I will keep reading and posting, best therapy out there. Good luck to everyone on their journey.
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My entire family, except for my husband was very unsupportive, but they can't ignore the fact that I now have normal cholesterol levels and am no longer taking high blood pressure meds. In the end it's your decision and yours alone. I made the right decision.
