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Didn't have surgery yet. I know some will b jealous, in other words there will b haters and unsupportive people. But it's ur health and ur life. Do u chose life or death. Wen u die they r gonna say the weight killed her she should have taken better care of herself. Now with that being said. U decide. Can't make everyone happy.
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Who knows about your surgery?
lose2regainme replied to Rocky_Mountain_Mama's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Do whats comfortable for you. You may find afterwards, when you start getting nice comments, it's easier to tell. But there's nothing wrong with "keeping it in the family", if thats what you are comfortable with. I am finding I would gladly shout it from the top of the highest skyscraper! I have surprised my self with how many people I have lifted my shirt for and shown them my stitches, and now healing scars. I haven't had one unsupportive thing said to me. Family, friends, other parents in Boy Scouts, neighbors, etc. And to think, it used to irritate me when people would put their hands on my belly during my pregnancies to feel the baby kick without asking first. Now I'm walking around in public being an exhibitionist!!!:smile2: -
hello all!!! My surgery date is June 4th!! I am excited and very nervous. I have to loose 10 pounds before surgery or he said he will cancel. i am nervous I won't be able to do it and keep it off. I am good for loosing 10-15 pounds and I am great for gaining it all back plus another 5. He didn't give me a pre op diet but I think I should just do the post op diet. My only other problem with the post op diet is that I have a sales conference with my job for the first week in May and i don't want anyone to know and I don't want to be starving around all these people. Then mother's day weekend i am going out of town with my family who are so unsupportive. i think I just need words of encouragement. my hubby gives them to me, but I just don't know.
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A thread for super-sized bandsters - starting BMI over 50?
misschrissie67 replied to Wheetsin's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
:help: I dont know about the rest of you, but I really wish now that I had kept my mouth shut and not told everyone I was having surgery. :speechles I thought by sharing with everyone that I was educating people and maybe encouraging others who are battling obsesity. And I dont know, maybe I am. But I am really frustrated with select few coming up to me every week asking the same :censored: questions..... "How much have you lost? Are you following your diet? Are you exercising? How much? What size do you wear now? I thought you would have lost ALOT more with surgery. Was it worth it? Wow you spent all that money and only lost _ lbs. Can I have your old clothes?" And one even have the audacity to come up to me in a restaurant while at lunch and say "oh I just came to see what you were eating ." :heh: Hello people! When did the world get so rude?! I am really frustrated. Yeah, I thought I would be losing faster too, but I am not telling my unsupporters that. I keep telling myself I didnt get to 380 overnite and its not going to come off overnite. The scale is moving in the right direction and thats all that should matter. right? Well I totally understand now why some people chose not to share with the world about this journey. Wishing I had been that smart. :phanvan -
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I feel like I have no familial support for my surgery.
liveaboard15 replied to itami o's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Are you a minor or something? Me personally i dont care what anyone else thinks that includes family. If i am doing something to better myself then i will go with it regardless of what other people think. Not sure how they can sue the surgeon if you are an adult. If you have friends that are supportive those can be better than unsupportive family many times. -
How do you deal with lack of support?
Jack replied to BandedBrunette481's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
Not everybody WILL be 'supportive'....some will be opposed because they are concerned & truly want 'the best' for you....others because they are losing control of YOUR life and they didn't give you permission to do WLS....while others are either just ignorant or evil, take your pick. Some can be converted with deep & earnest discussion. Some can be converted by observing the positive that arises from your actions. Some are hell-bent to make the absolute worst by invention or outright lies. Some lack the emotional capacity while others lack the intellectual facilities to understand exactly what you have actually done. In any case, not one of them actually gets a vote, so what they think isn't all that important. I made a few conversions in my own group, of a few who really were ill advised about what "Lap Band" was 10 years ago. And a few chose to remain convinced they had all the answers. Reletively few will be unsupportive unless they or a someone close to them had bad experience with some procedure they confuse with the Band. If that person is important enough to you, sit down in private and have a personal discussion. -
Dr. Gerald Kirshenbaum - Considering Dr. Kirshenbaum
ShelbiCallie replied to Shesha's topic in Weight Loss Surgeons & Hospitals
Hi Aviatrix, Wow -- I'm sorry that you had such a terrible experience! I read your first post in the General Support thread and my heart goes out to you -- sounds as if you've had a very, very difficult journey with your band all the way around for the last 3 years (dead surgeon, unsupportive PCP, little weight loss, overfills, reflux, nausea, sleep problems, etc.) Maybe it's time to ask for a referral to a GI specialist/radiologist to do a series of GI studies to determine exactly what's up with your band?? Maybe it is slipped (God forbid!) and a routine fill is just not going to be the answer? Bless your heart! If Dr. K isn't a good fit for you, I'd say try one of the other LB surgeons in the Denver area (I'm concluding you're local, sorry if your not), give them your history, and get a referral for some GI testing to see exactly what you're working with here. I hope this all gets worked out for you -- you've been through so much and you deserve to get healthy like everyone else on this journey. I'm a nurse and I had a very positive experience all around with Dr. K and would go back to him in a heart beat, but everyone has different needs, It sounds to me as if you need more than a fill. Hang in there and don't give up! -
Hi, I am not sure how to digg or furl a post....no idea....I do know that I am hopefully going to be scheduled before the year end. My MD said there should be no problem. I have psych eval on 11.18.09 and he said he could submit to blue cross as soon as he got that report, he will write a letter to insurance which I guess is all they need. He said Blue Cross is fairly easy,just a letter of medical necessity. I am on a liver shrinking diet in the mean time and even though this hasn't been REAL hard, primarily cuz I have cheated a little, but I am really worried about my 7-10 day liquid pre-op diet. I am so on edge as it is with 2 kids, a very unsupportive husband and a very demanding job, and I smoke as well!!! Only 2 to 4 cigs a night to go with the wine I cannot drink anymore!!! I am just afraid that I will pop my cork!!! It would be great to be able to utilize this board and have some people to sound off to....can anyone give me a brief explanation on how to get back to this so I can follow everyone? Also, how do you make a weight loss ticker tape at the bottom of your entry? I am afraid I will not get back here, so I am going to leave my email address (is that allowed?) lwright22@verizon.net. Would appreciate all the help I can get! thanks! Leah
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What do you say when you get THAT question??
TruBlueSue replied to Boo Boo Kitty's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
No one knows about my band 'cept my bandster support buddies and my hubby...My nosey mother is starting to be a pain in the ass, so I have told her basically portion control and exercise...I told her I literally let myself have two bites of anything I want - which is true. She is toxic and would have been unsupportive if I told her I had the band - and if she found out Mexico, she'd lose her miind!!! My relationship with her and the boundaries we've gotten comfortable with are too important to lose or screw up over the surgery... -
Hi Bmanns01, I've been there. You are NOT alone! We've been talking about this exact topic in the Unsupportive partners make me so angry! forum. I'm having surgery next Tuesday and I'm going alone BUT these forums have been so helpful. You are doing what you feel is best. We are all doing what we feel is best for our body, our health, and our mental state of mind. My parents, children, husband, siblings all think I am making a bad decision, but I'm not going to let their negative energy affect me. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and it was a struggle but when I weighed myself today and saw I lost 6 lbs, I knew I am on the right track. This just motivates me to keep going. I met with my PCP yesterday and she intimately knows my struggles and she was very happy for me for taking this step. This motivated me as well. So I will get on the plane on Monday, by myself, and do what I have to ensure my journey is successful. I am here for you too anytime you need to talk!
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5 Confessions (Join In)
babywools replied to ebthompson2010's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
My five pre-sleeve confessions: 1. I am really scared and excited at the same time about the surgery. What if it doesn't work for me? 2. I have been eating non stop lately. I guess n preparation for not eating. (Bad I know. I don't have a date yet!) 3. I want the process to hurry up. I think about jumping in a plane to Mexico every day instead of waiting and going through the steps here. 4. My DH makes fat jokes all the time and is very unsupportive of everything. I am not sure how I will manage "alone." 5. I am really looking forward to being healthy and sexy again. -
How was your 5:2 day today?
CowgirlJane replied to Oregondaisy's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I have had a volume incrrase. NUT said to literally eat dense protein first. Example I was having salmon Cesar salad by crumbling salmon over the lettuce. She said to try eating the salmon first and then. The salad. It makes a difference. Damn kids gave gave me a bunch of treats but what I can't resist is the soft individual wrapped gourmet cookies. I have eaten 4 out of 8...grrr Anyway I think many of us have some work to do in January.! I am completely over people remarking on bow little eat but when I there man I have been dating for 3 months makes jokes about how much I like food, how I can pack it away -then I feel insulted. Truth is my appetite is strong but I still eat small portions so I don't know why he'd say that just seemed unsupportive. -
December 2010 Bandsters out there?
HeatherinCA replied to GardenGal's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
My doctor had said once a week.. I have a sublingual liquid... pretty sure, i'd have to dig up the book. Vicky aww I'm sorry that happened. I've told everyone. I mean I don't like broadcast it at every meal. But nobody has been unsupportive or anything, or made comments about what I eat... I think it's good, because they all know so they will be looking at me, and there for rooting for me to succeed. Also I have a lot of family members and friends that are overweight, and I know they all want to know how I'm doing, to inspire themselves to get on track. -
well hopefully today i can set up my surgerydate, my family seems a bit scared and unsupportive :/
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I've been very emotional lately and when I started all my Pre-Op appointments and planned the surgery it seemed like the perfect timing to do so I had just turned 30 and my health was horrible my diabetes was unmanagable, my high blood pressure was out of control and my depression was at an all time low and this surgery gave me hope for a healtier better future but the past couple months have been super rough and my stress level is off the charts, having to deal with an unsupportive husband, an out of control teen son and a 7yr old son with type 1 diabetes,sometimes makes me question myself " am I making the right choice, is this the right time?" are these feelings normal or is feeling guilty something that everyone goes through on some level?
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Supporters and non supporters of my sleeve surgery
sotabee posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Hi, my name is Tracey and I have spent the last year researching and getting ready to have sleeve weight loss surgery. My surgery is scheduled for July 10th. I am excited, nervous and scared. I have only told my husband and very close friend that I am doing this. (My closet is freind has been nothing but unsupportive, she makesme question my decision) Several monoths ago when I was deciding if wanted to have this surgery I mentioned to some friends, a co-worker and family and recieved nothing but non supportive responses from "why odont you just diet and exercise, change your life syle and be healther, this is to extreme and trying to take easy way out (I do not think choosing to have sleeve and having 3/4 stomach removed and getting ready to put my body and mind through many diffucult situations for the first several months as I learn to live with sleeve the easy was out) to you are not fat enough and OMG you are removing part of stomach that is just stupid and going to cause nothing but issues rest of life. Then all the negative comments about how will never live a normal life again and having nothing but problems (pain, never eat normal, nauseau, vomtting, pain, always sick. I expect some of these things in the begiining but am hopeful in time and as I learn to live with sleeve things will continually get better. It causes me great stress, anxiety and emotion not to be able to share with close family and friends. Any advice as how to move forward with this. -
Tomorrow should have been my surgery date. I'd been very nervous - I thought I'd done enough prep reading these boards but a couple of days ago I got really scared that I didn't know what would happen after the ten year mark. What if there's massive nutrition deficiencies? I started reading bad stories - unsupportive stories - and was really nervous that I didn't prepare myself enough. I've had a lot of people question me doing this -my BMI is 40- thinking I should just do it the regular way and I'm taking the easy way out. There's no question this isn't the easy way out. I tell them its the effective way out. Despite my doubts, I was carefully getting ready for the surgery with my pre-op diet. Then my car got hit on my way to work. It caused some painful whiplash in addition to damage to my car. This - two days before my surgery. I thought I should hold off until Friday, but the surgeons office said the next appointment wasn't until the end of November. I said I wanted to get feedback from my doctor before postponing the surgery. At the doctors office, he told me that he recommended me postpone this because the anesthesia involves a lot of neck manipulation which could hurt worse. I can't define my emotions. Can you have disappointment and relief at the same time? Suddenly I wanted pumpkin pie. 3 weeks was enough time for some pie. It turns out my X-rays look okay...and now my neck doesn't hurt that bad.. I have everything with work arranged for my leave. My emotions and desires about this surgery crystalized. I want this now. I've prepared for this and I don't want to look back. I didn't eat any pie...but okay I had some Cereal. I mostly kept with my pre-op diet in hopes an earlier time would open up. I made an appointment Friday with a physical therapist and a slot opened up for my surgery on November 4th and I know I'm ready.
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I'm a loser
Carriedaway78 replied to thinneranniesoon's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Congrats to you! Don't you feel awesome? I was banded on May 20th and am loving my life even more already. You are also really lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive boyfriend because I've read some people on here have had problems with unsupportive spouses. Congrats again and keep up the good work! :thumbdown: -
So I'm 4 months post sleeve surgery and down 40lbs. My unsupportive husband decided he wasn't in love with me and we are in the process of divorcing. The divorce was no surprise. Unfortunately he didn't want the marriage or work for it like I tried. Anyway I'm looking forward to dating later this year and meeting new people. I'm 30 yo. But food and alcohol are often part of the dating process. Luckily I never was much of a drinker. I can only imagine going out and eating 4 bites and being full. How do you deal with this? What about the scars? When do you tell your sleeve story? I'm excited but scared of dating. Any advice from fellow sleevers is appreciated.
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My husband didn't agree with my decision to have surgery either. I wouldn't say he was unsupportive, because he did recognize that it was MY decision and he didn't try to argue with me. He very strongly believed that I could lose the weight on my own, because I have in the past. What he didn't understand is that I could never MAINTAIN the weight loss on my own. I have lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained. I was back up to within 10 pounds of my highest weight ever and once again starting to lose weight. But I decided that this time would be the LAST time. If I was going to work hard and lose the weight again, this time it was going to stick. And I figured VSG could help me do that. For me it wasn't weight LOSS surgery, it was weight MAINTENANCE surgery.
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So annoyed and I need to get over it!
seaniepoohbear replied to ReneK's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
This. Just this. My husband and best(only friend) are the only ones I even told about looking into bariatric surgery( waiting to see about insurance and how much a consult will be) they were both SOOOO VERY UNSUPPORTIVE.....but he tells EVERYONE. It's not his damn business to share!!! "Well they will know something is up if it does happen" ect well that's MY PLACE to deal with not yours!! So I come here to talk because nobody else is nice about it -
to tell or not to tell ????? yes or no
Calgarygirl replied to sel1944's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
So at 2:30 in the morning, while in Tijuana Im lying wide awake and all I can think of is how can I not tell my parents and sister. Im good wheather that take it or leave it as Im doing it for me. Its basically my mother who drives me nuts when it comes to food.... for years I have asked can we please do other stuff then eating all the time, and she agrees, but nothing ever changes.... so last week when she invited me to go for a buffet and insisted I cant say no because dad is paying.... so I say no, can we please just not do something that doesnt involve food (not to mention my surgery was less then a week away too lol,,,, and she said that sounds wonderful, lets go bowling or to a movie soon then.... but while I have been in Mexico my bf writes my mom to tell her he has a dvd for her computer so my mom says thanks and insists that we need to start coming over for supper more.... that was it!! lol she seriously just doesnt know when to stop.... I wasnt going to tell my parents or sister, but I figure why live a lie, this is something HUGE and exciting for me, and people who are unsupportive of it, I dont want in my life. So wow I wrote a big long letter, and now Im waiting to hear back, but honestly Im relieved and feel the stress off my shoulder, and I cant believe I just let it all out lol (it was liberating).... but this has been ever since Ive known the rollercoaster of ups and downs with weight and Im done being in the Obese category. My doctor was 100% behind me and supported me all the way which meant alot to me, Im just hoping my family is the same!! eeekkSsss!! lol I figure if I dont tell people I can possibly just put the weight back on by streching my stomach and lying just to aplease people, no more, this is my year, my new me, the skinny new me!!! I wish everyone lots of luck in their decisions in telling people, but why not just tell everyone, youre not doing it for them, youve made this decision with a lot of care, thought and ups and downs. It took me over a year to think about it and the last 6 months to really be serious about it,,,, and to be honest it has been the best present I have ever given myself and no one is going to burst my buttons lol -
unsupportive family - help needed
cadladykim posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I need advice. My husband and my family are not exactly thrilled about me having this surgery. they say they are supportive...but... I hear CONSTANTLY: "well if you know you can do the post op eating regimine after surgery, just start that now and don't have the surgery" "you just have to be stronger willed and not eat as much" "just do the pre-op diet for longer. or do the post op diet now... why the rush..." "just....why cant you ..." anything they can think of to convince me that surgery is NOT the right choice. Honestly, the only 2 things that kept me from doing it earlier is the fear of family rejection and fear of post-op complications from surgery. Not the lifestyle, not the eating, not the change in everything I know. The fear of complications. And I know that's their fear too. so knowing that, how do I answer their questions? I know that logically that make sense and we should just do that. However, practically I know I cant do it, or I would have already done it. I tell them that and then I hear I just need to be better at being strong willed. I'm a week and a half away from my 6th month weight in. all my other tests and pre-op tests and evaluations will be done on the 23rd. then it gets submitted to insurance for approval. I've been doing this for 6 months with the doctors. But It took 2 years of going back and forth (in my mind) to make this decision. I am ready. more than ready, I'm excited!! Well, I WAS excited. Now I'm scared again and wondering if it worth the risk. ARG!!! -
unsupportive family - help needed
drmeow replied to cadladykim's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Before I began seriously researching WLS I believed the media stories about how unsafe it is and how people just regain the weight, etc. Even my PCP gave me the "weight regain" comment in trying to discourage me. But those stories are just the ones which make the news, b/c successes are not as interesting to read about somehow. Most non-obese people really think it's just a matter of willpower, and have no idea of the hormonal and genetic causes of obesity, so they think WLS is "the easy way out" as other threads have talked about, and why should we get to do it "the easy way" when they have to diet and exercise to lose their 10 extra holiday pounds? Out of all the diets I've tried, low carb worked the best for me and I stuck with it the longest and lost the most amount of weight, as well as physically felt the best on it, but I still fell off and regained it all plus 20 more. I think I will be able to use that in my post-op maintenance phase to prevent regain, but I need the feedback from the pouch and possible dumping to keep me from straying very far. I don't plan on telling very many people about the surgery. I'm separated from husband so that won't be a problem (he'd be entirely unsupportive, just as he was when I dieted) and I plan to tell my kids I'm having some stomach problems that need surgery (truth!) and they will not bother to inquire any further. At some point after losing a lot I'm sure I will let them know and others as well, but I can't deal with the comments early on and beforehand. -
Hi Jenny, Welcome! You sound like you have a great mind set and support system in place and that is priceless. I think some people's concern comes off as unsupportive and it is really just based on a lack of knowledge. Your grandparents love you and don't want anything to happen to you, which is understandable. Best of luck throughout your pre-op. I also took the time before surgery to prepare myself and I feel I went in knowing what I needed to and being as prepared as I could. I found the boards to be of the utmost help. So many wonderful people here. Nice to have you!!
