Search the Community

Thanks, Nicole, I've never gotten hooked before but I'm hoping & praying - LOL Hey, girl, time to update that siggy - you're out of the 190's - whoop whoop! Ok, I have to say - I really love you guys - I was snooping around in some other forums & threads and boy oh boy there are some mean people on this site! There's a girl who got the sleeve and is just attacking everybody else. Whew! I don't understand how someone comes to a support site to be unsupportive!

Hi, I'm new here. I am going to a Lap Band seminar in my area on July 14th. I've thought about Lap Band and Gastric Bypass for a couple of years and after talking to people who have had these surgeries and weighing the pros and cons, I've decided the Lap Band is the better choice for me. With the exception of my husband who wants to come with me to the seminar and be educated on how he can support me (he's never had a weight issue), I find I am surrounded by people who do not believe the Lap Band will work. I haven't told anyone yet that I am thinking of having it done myself. I have been feeling out friends and family to see how supportive they will be and if I can count on them. Not one has had anything positive to say. Over and over I hear the words, "The Lap Band doesn't work. Only gastric bypass works." How do they know??? None of these people have had it done. I know 2 people who had gastric bypass and almost died from complications. I know one person who had the Lap Band and gained almost all of her weight back- but because she never went back for a fill in 4 years and drinks milk shakes every day. I feel like I am surrounded by people who would be waiting for me to fail. I should get angry and say to myself, "I'll show them." but I find myself wondering if they're right. Nothing else has worked for me so why should this? Has anyone else had this problem of almost non existant support?

Congrats to you! Don't you feel awesome? I was banded on May 20th and am loving my life even more already. You are also really lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive boyfriend because I've read some people on here have had problems with unsupportive spouses. Congrats again and keep up the good work! :thumbdown:

I was going to post this in unsupportive spouse but he is actually TOO supportive, well if there is such a thing. I was talking to him last night about the fact that I am really scared to fail the band.(I haven't been banded yet) Well he made the comment "I'll make sure you don't fail" I thought "Aww well thanks baby", until he made his next comment. "I will keep a food log for you, for thing you can and can't have and make sure you do your excersise everyday" He is military and is very strict when it comes to certian things. I am affraid he is going to start being a drill sergeant. And if I do fail then I am affraid he will hold it against me and resent me for it. This is the only thing i am scared of. I love my hubby very much but he can be very judgmental. He does support my decision but I think he might expect me to lose all my 105 lbs I need to lose over night.... You know what I mean. I try to explain everything but he thinks he knows it all....

If you are hungry every 30 mins, you need fill. If your doctor won't do it, you need to find someone who will. The band is supposed to help you lose weight, and you should NOT be relying on 'self-control' to get you there. I have 6.5 ccs in a 10 cc band. And let me just tell you, even 1/2 a cc can make a huge difference. Every single person is different. Some people need a max fill level to get that proper restriction. To be honest with you, I think your doctor and his staff are not being supportive in making you successful with your band. You need to have a heart to heart with them, or try to find somewhere else to go for that support. Working out is a VERY SMALL part of your success. Your eating is a large part of it, and right now, your tool is not helping you like it should because your doctor is being unsupportive.

Dear Kspearker I had unsupportive husband too, he thinks that what i need is to excersice more and less food but what he doesnt know is the food addection thing ( so when to the dr, did the blood test, ultrasound, x-ray,..... all by myself :cool:( And being Arab woman I had to have my husband aproval, so it took me very long to convince him eventhough I will be paying all the expenses on my own, because I am a very independent woman :smile:) so Finaly he said that you dont need it but if you want to go a head with it its you choice... and I am very happy now and my operation is on june 6, in five days :bat:))) I think eventually he will support you just because you want it ) still my husband doesnt know or even havent read anything about the prosedure, but it dosent bother me because I am doing this for myself )) at least he agreed now on the prosedure )

I had an unsupportive spouse, but he has changed his mind. Like yours, he believes it's all just a matter of 'calories in, calories out'. He just doesn't get the idea of food addiction or emotional eating. He lived five years as an elite athlete playing professional sport and has never had a weight problem. And he hasn't had two 11 pound babies like I have. I took him to the seminars, got him to read a couple of books and even showed him this site. He wouldn't budge. 'If you just ate less and exercised more, you'd be right'. Sigh, and if I could follow that simple formula, I wouldn't be fat, right? Finally, it was a neighbour who saved the day. My husband asked him for his opinion and the neighbour said 'I hear it's great, works for alot of people'. Now, my husband is supportive, even though he still doesn't get it. My point being, is there someone whose opinion your husband totally respects, independent of you? Sometimes it takes 'social proof' for an idea to sink in as being worthy.

jenzea: You do not have to tell anyone about your banding if you choose not to. That is personal, medical information. Keep in mind, however, that your unsupportive friends might not be your friends after you lose the weight. They sound jealous and not like true friends. Obesity is a disease and diets fail 95% of the time. Would a doctor or anyone else promote something that failed 95% of the time? WLS is the only thing that has shown long term success for obesity. But it is still hard work. Good luck.

i think the whole purpose of this post--initially--was either mistaken or communicated poorly (most likely by my own fault). i am young. i'm also someone who has been fat ALL HER LIFE! i've worn my weight problems on me for the world to see for as long as i can remember. initially, i was confused as to why someone would have to hide the fact that they are having surgery from someone as close to them as their father. it was my lack of life experience with an unsupportive family that lead to this confusion, but after the first couple of posts explaning to me that not everyone has great relationships with their family like i do, i made a pretty clear mea culpa and even commended those people with unsupportive family members for going through something like this so alone. now, the fact that this whole thing spun was when i felt that luluc (i think that's her name) said that not admitting that the band helped her to lose her weight bothered me. again, yes, this may have been said irrationally and without adequate experience being banded. my doctor gave me permission to integrate food back into my diet, and i'm feeling no restriction (i haven't been filled yet), and i want to keep eating--i do--but i CHOOSE to stop eating and not go over 800-1000 calories a day. i'm hoping that once i'm filled i will not have to force myself to stop--that i will actually start feeling full and feel satisfied. okay. all that said, i guess i am apologizing for things being taken so far out of hand and out of context. i was a bit snarky, but i do not feel that i was the only one. two wrongs, however, don't make a right. just as my parting words from this post. i was in no way trying to scare people out of getting a lap band. all i'm saying is that if a obese person in my life (colleague, old friend, family member i haven't seen in a while/am not close to, someone from the gym, etc) sees my success and asks me how i do it...i will tell them that i had a lap band surgery, and i really had to evaluate what i eat and how much of it i eat, and it changed my life forever. the only reason i would tell them that is because they may chose to consider getting the lap band too, and it might save their life...that's how i came to get one. i ran into two people from my past when i moved back to my hometown after eight years--they'd both lost tons of weight and looked great, and they'd both had the band. they didn't tell me "maybe if you order fish/sushi to eat and get your a$$ to the gym, you'll lose weight too." good luck to all!

Sorry to hear that you have an unsupportive doctor. I have PCOS. I was being treated for it and my thyroid disease through my Endocrinologist. My primary doctor was also aware of my condition. Both my Endocrinologist and my Primary Doctor supported the surgery. Not only has the surgery been a success dispite having PCOS but I was able to go off the Metformin and I no longer have any symptoms of having PCOS.

I guess I never stopped to think about those people out there with unsupportive (i.e. downright mean and terrible) family members. I've been fat since childhood, but I've NEVER had an issue w/an unsupportive family. I've also never had a hard time socializing and making friends since I entered junior high. The only aspect of my life that my weight caused issues for was my romantic life, and most of the time it was because I wouldn't accept male advances out of embarrassment. Wow...confession session...I guess the long story short is that my heart goes out to those who feel the need to go through this in secrecy because their family and friends and the people in their life suck!! On a funnier note, I was sure to make it VERY known at work because I work as a government contractor, and I didn't need my co-workers, boss, or customer thinking I'd developed a drug habit to lose weight...hAhA!!

Lilith - if you have a hard time telling family members what you need from them, try writing it in a letter and sending it to them. Don't be critical - just tell them what you want and how it makes you feel when they are unsupportive or critical. Then tell them that the next time you call, you hope they will be supportive and understanding. Then if you call and they still say mean things - just say "Well, it's obvious you aren't going to change and I need supportive people in my life right now, so when you're ready to be supportive, give me a call." And hang up. That's all you can do. You can't really change people - only your reaction to them. Forget the guilt. You have nothing to be guilty about. If you do the above, the ball will be in their court.

Oh yeah, we're going to succeed! (yes, we will indeed, 98 3/4 percent guaranteed) I think we're the best month, don't ya'll? Yesterday... that was hard. My boyfriend got my daughter her easter basket stuff and I specifically said "don't get a lot of candy, I want to get her more exciting stuff - a book, a movie, some jewelry or something"... so what does he get her? Gummy worms, a huge bag of reese's Peanut Butter cups, cadbury eggs, and a HUGE foot tall chocolate BUNNY. (And some non-candy stuff, but not much) So they were all walking around the house eating candy and then talking to me with their chocolate peanut butter breath, and my boyfriend said "can't you just have ONE?". I said "sure, I can have ONE. Then tomorrow what, will I have ONE again? Then the next day it'll 'just be one'"??? I think he felt bad then. He just wants me to be happy with myself, I know. This makes him look unsupportive and he isn't, but I think he had a weak moment. Blah. I am glad I didn't give into that. I was thinking about every day going into the bag and getting about 5 of the Reese's and bringing them to work for the people here at work. Then slowly they will all be gone, and between the two of them they will think the other is eating them. Hahahahaha. :smile:

If I asked "I am going on vacation and will keep my band filled, is that the right thing to do?" would there be any discussion or comments? Of course not. I posed the appropriate question necessary to generate information and thoughts on the issue that I am trying to work through and about which I have not made a decision. As people challenge my question and assumptions and I challenge theirs in return, we all learn more about both positions and their validity or invalidity. That is the nature of a didactic dialogue. If the only thing you can draw from that is that it looks like rationalization then so be it. Obviously other posters are willing to accept this issue as undecided for me, as I have stated repeatedly. You have not explained why this is a "bad, bad decision" without relying on unsupported pat statements. We can disagree as to whether or not the eating issue is a big deal and whether it is a useful for me to spend my time in Europe talking about my surgery over dinner, but that's not the issue. I already stated that if I can avoid the rudeness problems and not get the unfill, that is the solution I will choose and I am currently working on getting an answer on precisely that point. While I am working on that solution, there does not seem to be any reason not to have a discussion about whether a temporary unfill is something I can recover from in a reasonable amount of time. At the very least it will provide people researching whether to have the surgery some better understanding of what I suspect is an issue for people other than myself.

The ironic thing for me is that I also see a cardiologist once a year, I have an irregular heart beat that they monitor. I have been talking with her for about two year about the surgery, and she was completely for it. She even said, that with my age, activity level, and weight that if she were me she would do it in a heart beat. So my PCP was a jerk about it and my Cardiologist was all for it....Go figure :frown:. So I kept my supportive Cardiologist, and dumped my unsupportive PCP .

Hi everyone, In the past few months I have been reading a lot of message boards about lapband surgery (most are American) and I am starting to feel slightly worried that I am missing something big that I should be doing. It seems like so many people get refused surgery or are undergoing rigerous testing and diets before they can have the surgery. In comparison, this process has been very easy for me and I really haven't had any obstacles- other than dealing with unsupportive people! I went to the info seminar last year, then I got a referal from my doctor and then went to see a surgeon and I now have a surgery date- 22nd May! :eek::w00t: I have my insurance, I'll be going on Optifast for 4 weeks before surgery and I have another appointment with my surgeon 2 weeks before my surgery. Is there something else I should be doing or is it really this easy? :cool2: Thanks for your input. :tt2:

Thank you for thinking of me Yup, home and banded, and I feel, okish. I think I was pretty lucky - the most pain I had was when I woke up and had a panic attack until I distracted myself by remembering my gallbladder pain a couple of years ago. I'm still a bit doped up (anaesthesia seems to last for days for me) so forgive me if I ramble, but it all went really well. The nursing staff there are awesome - friendly, patient, and encouraging. I was done first (there were at least four other people done monday morning), and by midday I was watching tv and wandering around the ward, which is apparently a good sign. I have some pain - more where the port is and some deffered pain in my shoulder, which oddly, is relieved by burping. I think my real problem, now that I'm home, is that I am drinking really small amounts, but I'm still not getting enough liquid in, which could be a problem. But I don;t feel hungry or thirsty, have very little desire for food. I havent taken photos - I'm photophobic. I wish i'd known about the Optifast pumpkin soup - i never saw it, but I imagine it's pretty good. I think if you are comfortable telling family and friends it's great. For myself, I'm just really private in some ways - it's not about being ashamed or afriad of reactions so much as I'm just... not interested in involving people. Like, when I checked into the hospital there were people with three or four family members there, and they visited throughout - me, I was really happy occasionally seeing a nurse and being left alone. I don't think people would be unsupportive, I guess right now I don't really need them to be? I would hope that NO ONE would bitch about this sort of thing. I noticed though when mum got it done, that I expected her to progress much faster than she has and, while I try not to judge, i think I kind of had this expectation of how she would progress, which, while I support her all the way was still a bit hard on her? See, I totally ramble. We might have already crossed paths at the surgery - I've been there five times this year, sorting out some blood tests and stuff. I really like Linda Schacter (sp?) - I'm actually thinking of asking her if she will be my gp. If you have any questions I can try to answer them/update you on my progress, and would love to hear about yours. TamTam - Nearly a week and still pain? what kind of pain? Have you moved off liquids? Also, I found that when i got home today, despite having not eaten since sunday, i'd GAINED half a kilo. I'm thinking it's gas - given that I burp and burp and burp. It's a little terrifying though.

Yes, It speaks volumes in my favor. My 18 year old is still in her first year of college and saves money by commuting, my 19 year old JUST graduated trade school in January and is now searching for a job in his computer field while he works full time and is trying to pay off his student loans, my 21 year old is a single mom of 1 and can't afford her own place AND daycare, so she needs to live here, but rents her room, and my 22 year old is mentally handicapped, and can't live on her own. So, if you feel that they are living home for sooooo many years past the time they should be out on their own, then you would be an uncaring, unhelpful,unsupportive parent IMO. I could see you kicking your 18 year olds out the door as soon as high school was done and telling them "Well, you're on your own, get out!"

Beset of luck to you Ben.... it sounds like you will be a great role model for your son, and that is something he will definetly need!! It's sad to say, but some people are better apart then togeather, this is a hard journey to make, but I think it would be even harder with an unsupportive spouse. Now you have time to focus on becoming healthy and being the best dad you can be!

I do think we sometimes expect too much from our spouses. We decide to jump on the bandwagon and if they aren't with the program we consider them unsupportive. The fact is in my relationship I have always been the heaviest, so now that I have fell under his weight am I supposed to now expect my husband to change his eating habits... I don't think so. I chose the band lifestyle for myself. I am still a wife and mother and while I should make healthy meals for my family it doesn't mean that they should have to change their entire relationship with food like I have. Carbs are not bad for my family as a whole, just me. Treats like donuts and rolls are not bad for my family, just me. And, not participating in things with friends in the end would just be bad for our marriage. I have just learned to behave myself. I don't need people to be supportive of my new lifestyle... it is my lifestyle. It is MY way of eating and relating to food. Just because my way of eating and relating to food has changed drasticly it doesn't mean I should expect my husbands food choices to change. He is healthy and I was not. He never griped at me when I was 298 pounds about what I ate and never made me feel bad about my health, why should I make him feel bad now. Maybe instead of looking for him to be supportive you should just focus on supporting yourself. Only you can succeed or fail with the band. You can still make meals that your husband loves and adapt them for yourself or even make something else for yourself to eat. You probably shouldn't try to "fix" him and his relationship with food. And, you still can enjoy food too. You can go out to eat with friends. Most, if not all restaurants, have band friendly items. A lot of times you just have to be creative. I kind of agree with your husband in the idea that there is even band-friendly foods at McDonalds (yes I checked out your blog). Just eat the cheeseburger without the bun. It is not the healthiest thing in the world for you, but it certainly will not hurt you. Sorry I couldn't join in on the male bashing, God knows I could share some stories. I just wanted to share a "different" perspective.

Hi Craig, So glad that it all went well and you are feeling good. I was done on Sunday 25th and had one night in hospital so came home yesterday afternoon (26th). It all went well although I do have some gas pain which is getting better as it is released! I also feel like I have to 'carry' my stomach around when I walk. If I let go and leave it unsupported then I get some pain as it pulls everything down. Has anyone else had this feeling? I am on a liquid diet of these drinks called 'Ensure plus' which are like milkshakes. They come in vanilla, strawberry, banana and peach flavours. I also have to drink 2-3 litres of Water a day and can have other clear fluids including sugar free Jello. We don't have Jello in the UK where I am from although I have bought some here in the UAE where I live now. Pardon my British ignorance but what is it? Is it what we Brits call 'jelly'?:thumbup: And if so do I drink it before it sets or let it set and eat slowly? If you can enlighten me on 'Jello' I'd be really grateful! LOL! I wonder how everyone else has got on? It will be good to keep in touch.

The Good: I DID IT! Did you see?! There it is! I FINALLY created an avatar! And GET THIS…I also MADE MY OWN TICKER!!!!! Nope, not from a ticker site…from scratch!!! Go look below…yep, I did that! With pics even!!! Can you believe it??!! I happened upon a cool ticker on a WLS site which showed 10 pound bowling balls for weight loss…I thought that was such a cool analogy (and the creator of it already lost 11 bowling balls!). So I asked and she patiently helped me with the drawing program (Marella, you’re a saint!). Don’t ask me how to do it as I spent a day and a half (more about that later) and I still don’t know…trial and error, but with my art background it was a fun challenge. Now, I didn’t want to be a complete copy-cat so I tried to think of something else that was also about 10 pounds. It came to me…remember my family joke/blog ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head!’? Well, I googled it and apparently the average weight of a human head is 10 pounds…perfect, 10 pound heads and an atypical ticker, like me. I only wished I had more pics of me to chose from…apparently our scanner is out of sync, so all I could use were pics that were already on CD’s…so there’s my face on the ticker 1 1/2 years ago at my parent’s 50th, about 20 pounds lighter; and me on the avatar, outside, glass of wine in hand about 3 1/2 years and 30-40 pounds lighter…but I look about the same on my top half as it all went to my a$$; except Mr.SA (Skinny A$$) says a little weight in the face, and the 4 years of aging, and the temporary brunette hair that will soon be back to blonde (although I’m enjoying my extra brain cells), and some bangs now…but other than that, it’s me. I’m so proud!!! Read on if you want to know why this was an EXTRA challenge! The Bad: I officially HATE computers. Yes, my computer is STILL down, so I haven’t been on much. Remember? My daughter closed the power cord in the recliner cutting the cord, right after Christmas. Well, after ordering two Chinese replacements from different stores and waiting for each to arrive, neither one worked (“Unsupported” and lots of beeping, whatever that means). Mr.SA finally ordered me a Dell one…to arrive this weekend. I’m not holding out much hope. So I’d been using the kids/home one or Mr.SA’s work laptop at night. Then OMG his computer and our home one both ‘caught something’; yep even with the firewall system we have. Apparently they had to bring in an outside computer guy at DH work to fix it (their co. guys couldn’t…yikes) and the geek even he had to take the computer back to his co. to get help. In the process they lost everything on DH computer and it’s still not fixed. Our home computer is still ‘bugged’ and about every third screen you switch to it knocks you off and a new screen comes up that is a fake Microsoft or Google screen (it has three different ones) telling you to click on it because the website you’re on is a potential threat. The computer geek tells us this ‘bug’ is nothing you can avoid. Apparently Microsoft headquarters got the same one. You never had to click on anything to start it, it just comes in with websites or emails (wish I knew how) and the bug is just trying to sell you something, it’s not spyware…small condolence, as that’s also the reason they can’t prosecute these hackers…laws haven’t caught up with this yet (they all ought to be taken out back and shot). If I hadn’t been so motivated to get this ticker done since Marella had started the process of helping me, I would have gone nuts…it took me an hour to do what I could normally do in 15 min….VERY AGRIVATING! So who knows what will happen when we take the home computer in, and I’m sure even IF the new power cord comes and IF this third try works this weekend on my laptop if I should risk catching this bug? If you don’t hear from me for awhile, you’ll know I’m still in computer he!!. And The Ugly: Tuesday I had Mr.SA take my ‘before’ pics finally. Now that we replaced the broken digital camera at Christmas, I was just waiting for a good time. He was off Tues. for the surgeon’s consult so I did it. They’re horrific (or at least the ones I've seen)!!! NO, I’m not sharing them…maybe when I have some good ‘afters’…maybe…or maybe not. Remember I’m the one who’s been running from the camera all these years and could hardly find a pic of myself for an avatar, so to see the whole me in something tight…yeah, remember I was debating the range of those before pics…from the ‘underwear girl’ (no way) to the all dolled up in the camouflage-the-fat clothes. I decided to go with something near the underwear end of the range and a step up from ‘Biggest Loser’ clothes (my legs and belly are so pasty white and dimpled, so NO). But I want to really see the changes…tight spandex sweats and a tight tank top…shows enough. I remembered to get the flabby upper arm shots and just the face pics. Mr.SA kept saying as he looked at the pics after every pose… ‘Man, that doesn’t even look like you. If someone asked me if that was my wife I would have said no.’ Now I’m not sure if he was being honest and I’ve just been such a good fat-camoflager all these years (yes, even, or especially around him) that he was truly surprised, or if he was just trying to cheer me up as there was no denying these pics could star in a horror film. Oh well, the ‘before’ ones are supposed to look bad right? I still haven’t brought myself to look at the full body shot ones yet…I need to do that…I need the same dose of reality poor Mr.SA got. Yep, I still think I looked huge at 160# 8 years ago, and I still think I look exactly the same today, 80+# heavier…there’s something wrong with my self image…those ‘before’ and hopefully ‘afters’ may be just what I need to build my body image and acceptance as I go through the changes…here’s hoping!

The Good: I DID IT! Did you see?! There it is! I FINALLY created an avatar! And GET THIS…I also MADE MY OWN TICKER!!!!! Nope, not from a ticker site…from scratch!!! Go look below…yep, I did that! With pics even!!! Can you believe it??!! I happened upon a cool ticker on a WLS site which showed 10 pound bowling balls for weight loss…I thought that was such a cool analogy (and the creator of it already lost 11 bowling balls!). So I asked and she patiently helped me with the drawing program (Marella, you’re a saint!). Don’t ask me how to do it as I spent a day and a half (more about that later) and I still don’t know…trial and error, but with my art background it was a fun challenge. Now, I didn’t want to be a complete copy-cat so I tried to think of something else that was also about 10 pounds. It came to me…remember my family joke/blog ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head!’? Well, I googled it and apparently the average weight of a human head is 10 pounds…perfect, 10 pound heads and an atypical ticker, like me. I only wished I had more pics of me to chose from…apparently our scanner is out of sync, so all I could use were pics that were already on CD’s…so there’s my face on the ticker 1 1/2 years ago at my parent’s 50th, about 20 pounds lighter; and me on the avatar, outside, glass of wine in hand about 3 1/2 years and 30-40 pounds lighter…but I look about the same on my top half as it all went to my a$$; except Mr.SA (Skinny A$$) says a little weight in the face, and the 4 years of aging, and the temporary brunette hair that will soon be back to blonde (although I’m enjoying my extra brain cells), and some bangs now…but other than that, it’s me. I’m so proud!!! Read on if you want to know why this was an EXTRA challenge! The Bad: I officially HATE computers. Yes, my computer is STILL down, so I haven’t been on much. Remember? My daughter closed the power cord in the recliner cutting the cord, right after Christmas. Well, after ordering two Chinese replacements from different stores and waiting for each to arrive, neither one worked (“Unsupported” and lots of beeping, whatever that means). Mr.SA finally ordered me a Dell one…to arrive this weekend. I’m not holding out much hope. So I’d been using the kids/home one or Mr.SA’s work laptop at night. Then OMG his computer and our home one both ‘caught something’; yep even with the firewall system we have. Apparently they had to bring in an outside computer guy at DH work to fix it (their co. guys couldn’t…yikes) and the geek even he had to take the computer back to his co. to get help. In the process they lost everything on DH computer and it’s still not fixed. Our home computer is still ‘bugged’ and about every third screen you switch to it knocks you off and a new screen comes up that is a fake Microsoft or Google screen (it has three different ones) telling you to click on it because the website you’re on is a potential threat. The computer geek tells us this ‘bug’ is nothing you can avoid. Apparently Microsoft headquarters got the same one. You never had to click on anything to start it, it just comes in with websites or emails (wish I knew how) and the bug is just trying to sell you something, it’s not spyware…small condolence, as that’s also the reason they can’t prosecute these hackers…laws haven’t caught up with this yet (they all ought to be taken out back and shot). If I hadn’t been so motivated to get this ticker done since Marella had started the process of helping me, I would have gone nuts…it took me an hour to do what I could normally do in 15 min….VERY AGRIVATING! So who knows what will happen when we take the home computer in, and I’m sure even IF the new power cord comes and IF this third try works this weekend on my laptop if I should risk catching this bug? If you don’t hear from me for awhile, you’ll know I’m still in computer he!!. And The Ugly: Tuesday I had Mr.SA take my ‘before’ pics finally. Now that we replaced the broken digital camera at Christmas, I was just waiting for a good time. He was off Tues. for the surgeon’s consult so I did it. They’re horrific (or at least the ones I've seen)!!! NO, I’m not sharing them…maybe when I have some good ‘afters’…maybe…or maybe not. Remember I’m the one who’s been running from the camera all these years and could hardly find a pic of myself for an avatar, so to see the whole me in something tight…yeah, remember I was debating the range of those before pics…from the ‘underwear girl’ (no way) to the all dolled up in the camouflage-the-fat clothes. I decided to go with something near the underwear end of the range and a step up from ‘Biggest Loser’ clothes (my legs and belly are so pasty white and dimpled, so NO). But I want to really see the changes…tight spandex sweats and a tight tank top…shows enough. I remembered to get the flabby upper arm shots and just the face pics. Mr.SA kept saying as he looked at the pics after every pose… ‘Man, that doesn’t even look like you. If someone asked me if that was my wife I would have said no.’ Now I’m not sure if he was being honest and I’ve just been such a good fat-camoflager all these years (yes, even, or especially around him) that he was truly surprised, or if he was just trying to cheer me up as there was no denying these pics could star in a horror film. Oh well, the ‘before’ ones are supposed to look bad right? I still haven’t brought myself to look at the full body shot ones yet…I need to do that…I need the same dose of reality poor Mr.SA got. Yep, I still think I looked huge at 160# 8 years ago, and I still think I look exactly the same today, 80+# heavier…there’s something wrong with my self image…those ‘before’ and hopefully ‘afters’ may be just what I need to build my body image and acceptance as I go through the changes…here’s hoping!

Hi, I had the Realize Band surgery in late May 2008. I have lost 66 lbs to date and I am feeling terrific about my progress. However, my current beau sees fit to comment on my weight all the time. It almost seems he is purposely trying to take the wind out of my sails. Despite several attempts at explaining that his comments seem unsupportive and are hurtful, he continues. Has anyone else encounter this difficulty? Any advice you can give?