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My entire family, except for my husband was very unsupportive, but they can't ignore the fact that I now have normal cholesterol levels and am no longer taking high blood pressure meds. In the end it's your decision and yours alone. I made the right decision.

The 3 to 6 month waiting period is usually referred to as a "supervised diet". It's a time when the doctor can evaluate how well you do prior to being banded and ensure that you are a good candidate. I agree that if the doctor expects or requires the patient to lose weight during the supervised diet period then he should make this clear and not string somebody that can't or won't lose weight along. The decision to have lapband surgery is a big decision. You should be ready to alter your lifestyle prior to making the decision. As we've all read thousands of times, "the lapband is a tool" and you have to be willing to make some sacrifices if you expect it to work. Nobody said that these sacrifices don't start until after surgery or your first fill. The surgeons would be doing nobody a favor if they proceeded with the surgery on a patient they don't think will succeed. I may be being a little judgmental but I don't want to come across unsupportive. We can all empathize with somebody that has gained weight even during a diet but that doesn't mean we have to attack the doctor who is probably looking out for the patient's best interest.

It's shocking that people who are involved in the same struggle are hateful to each other! I found an old magazine with all of the success stories of people who lost 100lbs or more. I was surprised to look at it after being banded and see that the first sentence was "These people did it without surgery." Why is ok to be unsupportive to overweight individuals and then call them lazy for trying to become healthy in a way that works for them like WLS? Wow.

Hi, I am not sure how to digg or furl a post....no idea....I do know that I am hopefully going to be scheduled before the year end. My MD said there should be no problem. I have psych eval on 11.18.09 and he said he could submit to blue cross as soon as he got that report, he will write a letter to insurance which I guess is all they need. He said Blue Cross is fairly easy,just a letter of medical necessity. I am on a liver shrinking diet in the mean time and even though this hasn't been REAL hard, primarily cuz I have cheated a little, but I am really worried about my 7-10 day liquid pre-op diet. I am so on edge as it is with 2 kids, a very unsupportive husband and a very demanding job, and I smoke as well!!! Only 2 to 4 cigs a night to go with the wine I cannot drink anymore!!! I am just afraid that I will pop my cork!!! It would be great to be able to utilize this board and have some people to sound off to....can anyone give me a brief explanation on how to get back to this so I can follow everyone? Also, how do you make a weight loss ticker tape at the bottom of your entry? I am afraid I will not get back here, so I am going to leave my email address (is that allowed?) lwright22@verizon.net. Would appreciate all the help I can get! thanks! Leah

My mom was not in favor of me having weight loss surgery. She encouraged me to try Jenny Craig AGAIN or look at the serotonin plus diet (even offered to pay for them). Although she did not like my decision, she always supported ME 100%. She sat with my husband during surgery, came to see me each day in the hospital, and came by my house during my recovery to bring me whatever I wanted. Well, over the last few weeks, she has made some interesting comments regarding my clothing purchases. When we went shopping for my birthday I found a lot of clearance Lands End clothing at Sears that was 75-80%. I really wanted to buy some size 8's for next summer, but she said I'd never be that size, that I NEEDED to stop at 12 if I managed to get there. I was having such a pleasant day and was wearing 14-16 at the time, I just didn't want to make a big deal over it. Last weekend we went out together and I was talking about how I ordered a size 10 Lilly dress (since I now fit my size 14 one I've had for a couple of years) because it was such a great deal. She got really upset that I was continuing to spend money on clothes and said, "And how long do you think you'll be that size? Like 6 months?" insinuating that I couldn't possibly maintain a lower weight. I accused her of being unsupportive and left it at that. Yesterday I stopped by to pick something up and she decided she wanted to explain that she does support me, she's just worried that I will lose too much and start to look sickly like my anorexic aunt (one of her sisters). What?!? I weigh 174 lbs. I am at the top of the overweight bmi range. It was good we had the conversation. I think we both understand each better, but I am still just annoyed. I feel like part of her just doesn't want me to set my sights too high and fail (I've been through this before because I am so goal oriented and she worries). I just wish I could be at the end of this journey so that all of this was behind me. Oh, well...it will all be okay, just needed to get this off my chest.

Hello everyone, I am 18 and am scheduled to have the gastric banding surgery in December of 2009. I am quite nervous because I have a very unsupportive family. My dad told me I was taking the "easy" way out by surgery. I have always been overweight since the day I was born. I think its time that I do something that will help me. I only have a few close friends who do not understand what I going through physically, emotionally, and mentally. If there is anyone around my age or just someone that has good advice I need it. I do not think this will go very well without supportive people in my life. I'd appreciate the help. ~Katie

I too encountered unsupportive people but my husband did finally come around after I scheduled my surgery. I realized after encountering unsupportive family that I was better off not telling them beforehand because I did not want to hear their negative opinions when they had not researched the band and had no clue what they were talking about. After it was all said and done I did tell all my relatives and got nothing but support from them. I feel it is best for your spouse to attend the consult appointment with you. After talking with my surgeon, my husband felt much better about my decision and gave me all his support. I hope everything turns out great for you. Donna

Believe me, I have already switched to another doctor who gets it. I didn't mean you risked your life for medical treatment, I meant it the other way around, people from MX take great risks to get treatment in our ERs because we don't turn people away who cannot pay. That is why my ex-mother-inlaw came here, not for the ER, but because her son had polio, in 1955, and March of Dimes paid for everything, he spent a month in SF at the Children's Hospital. They came here legally, but left a country they loved, because if you aren't rich, you don't get the same care. Anyway, if I would have come to this message board before I had the VG, I would have chose Dr. Aceves..but my *old* PCP (in more ways than one) really scared me and was so unsupportive..and I didn't really have anyone to tell me otherwise. I do believe that Dr. Aceves and his hospital is a blessing, and I am happy that others are finding this information out before making their decision. I am sorry, did not mean to offend anyone. My post came out all wrong.

I am not sure if you read this article (below) seems common to be depresses following surgery. I think is a great idea for you to follow up with your therapist. I just remember it will just get better. Many people can't imagine becoming depressed AFTER losing weight. However, depression can occur after weight loss surgery or when undergoing any time of major lifestyle change. Possible causes of depression after WLS may include: - Mourning the loss of food for comfort. If food has always been your "friend" or something you depended on when feeling sad, stressed or lonely, saying "goodbye" can be difficult. - Mourning the loss of pre-operative lifestyle. For example, feeling left out while socializing, participating in holiday rituals, or when dining in restaurants. - Reactions from others. Relationships with loved ones can change or become strained. Reactions to weight loss may be negative or jealous, or otherwise unsupportive friends/family may resort to "sabotage." Positive reactions or increased attention from others can lead to feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, or resentment. - Having unrealistic expectations. For example, thinking that everything will get better after surgery or that your emotional eating or other disordered eating habits will simply disappear. - Hormonal changes. For some women, estrogen is released while fat is burned to make energy. This release of estrogen may cause mood swings. - Body image discrepancies. After rapid weight loss, you do not recognize yourself or lose a sense of self. You may experience a loss of identity between the inner and outer you. The postoperative blues typically occur during the first few weeks or months after surgery and subside over time. However, if you find that your symptoms are worsening or are beginning to interfere with your relationships, work, or daily functioning, it is time to seek help from a medical professional. __________________

I haven't read the other responses yet but wow it sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of people who are rude and unsupportive. But you know what, their opinion doesn't matter. The only thing you can do is try to educate them with the facts. The facts are that almost everyone DOES lose weight with surgery, regardless. Only 5% of overweight people have success with traditional diet and exercise. People who have never considered surgery really have no clue, they want to point fingers at us, think we are weak, etc, but they just have no idea. This is a difficult decision to make and you are not weak, you are strong for being able to recognize that you need to do something to make a change even if it's something that is difficult. I'm glad your husband is supportive and I hope things work out well for you and if you need additional encouragement this is a great place to get it. :frown:

Awesome, I have my first PS appointment tomorrow and will definitely mention all of the boob related issues I've had. I have dealt with back and neck pain since I was a teenager and have been being treated with antifungals for my back rolls and under-boob area (technical term :smile:) for almost as long. The tricky part may be getting my PCP to attest to this because he is usually unsupportive and has resisted giving my referrals to specialists to treat the back and skin problems. But he has to admit to the numerous pain and antifungal scripts he's written and to my recent emergency room visit for a severe pinched nerve in my back. Even though he's a jerk,he isn't tougher than me. I know thats a huge long story...but its true. I really appreciate your well wishes and response. See ya in the flat and perky lands!

From the LapSF newsletter. ******** Many people can't imagine becoming depressed AFTER losing weight. However, depression can occur after weight loss surgery or when undergoing any time of major lifestyle change. Possible causes of depression after WLS may include: - Mourning the loss of food for comfort. If food has always been your "friend" or something you depended on when feeling sad, stressed or lonely, saying "goodbye" can be difficult. - Mourning the loss of pre-operative lifestyle. For example, feeling left out while socializing, participating in holiday rituals, or when dining in restaurants. - Reactions from others. Relationships with loved ones can change or become strained. Reactions to weight loss may be negative or jealous, or otherwise unsupportive friends/family may resort to "sabotage." Positive reactions or increased attention from others can lead to feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, or resentment. - Having unrealistic expectations. For example, thinking that everything will get better after surgery or that your emotional eating or other disordered eating habits will simply disappear. - Hormonal changes. For some women, estrogen is released while fat is burned to make energy. This release of estrogen may cause mood swings. - Body image discrepancies. After rapid weight loss, you do not recognize yourself or lose a sense of self. You may experience a loss of identity between the inner and outer you. The postoperative blues typically occur during the first few weeks or months after surgery and subside over time. However, if you find that your symptoms are worsening or are beginning to interfere with your relationships, work, or daily functioning, it is time to seek help from a medical professional.

While I agree that with the change in admins things have greatly improved related to Dr Bashing however that was not always the case. Now that Wasabubblebutt does not post much n this board and "resigned" as an admin things are much more balanced. I have no problem with folks singing the praises of their surgeon. I DO have a huge problem when lies, half truths, unsupportable facts are posted and when the poster refuses to provide cites and or sources for their "facts".

Tamra It is hard for people around you to accept change. When you change they either have to change to fit into your world or you outgrow them.....when you change your life it changes the lifes of people around you whether they like it or not. It is scary for your friends to think about how your gonna change and outgrow them or that they will have to change to keep up with your pace.............. She is trying to pull you down to stop your changing because that meets her needs and makes her world better for her. She is trying to even the status quo...........if you don't change her life stays the same..........this is all about the other person and has nothing to do with you. ONce you get that than you won't let other people get to you so much.......they will lose their power over you!! Just painful to outgrow people and say goodbye. I know, I know........hard not to take a second and sometimes even third and fourth glance back to see what they are doing? To make sure they really are gonna let you walk out of their lives....to see they aren't willing to go on the same path or journey that your on. What is really hard is when those people we outgrow are our families particularly our spouse..............but check the statistics it happens. I don't have the same friends, attitude or mind set I had 9 months ago when I started this journey. You can't have this surgery and go through this process without growing and changing impossible....... Part of the learning curve with this surgery and you WILL GET stronger!! I have seen the girls I started this journey with in November totally grow and change into different people in just 9 months........I see the new people who joine back in the Spring making huge changes. So get ready Tamra you in for the ride now...............just go with the process your gonna come out of this a much stronger and more confident woman!! Make sense?? That is why so much divorce and change of friends and jealous unsupportive family with this kind of surgery......... anyone know about systems and family theories??? LOL. Micro, mezo and Macro systems...........Social work stuff for sure!! But here is the thing............if one person in a system (family friendships ect.) changes than the whole system HAS TO CHANGE or it will fall apart................one person can't change in a group without the group and all individuals in the group adjusting and changing......more times than not the group simple falls apart as one group member ourgrows the system.............and the person growing finds a new group or system that better fits their needs and that grows with them.......... Thus our support group...............we are the new system for alot of us........ Ok, ok enough social worker theories. This is not grad school!! LOL. :-P Tamra this is normal get used to it and as you get stronger and stronger you will be able to walk away from it and remind yourself that your outgrowing your old support system............might be time to spend more time with other people that are growing with you and support you new goals in life..............

Ok so here is my situation... I have a infection. I am 17days post op. When I went to my 1 wk apt I saw my doc partner. My incision was oozing a little at the time green and his partner who saw me said its normal and incsions can ooze for months after surgery. I told him I did not feel comfortable and maybe I should be on antibiotics,,and he told me not to worry about it. Since then its gotten much worst, I think its getting better and then its not. It is now still oozing green crap (non-smelly) and it looks like the stitches ( I was glued) I did not have (no stitches) opened up at the top. ITs about the size of a pinto bean. ITs about the width of a bean and I was telling my unsupportive (he thinks its fine) DH that i will have a crater scar when its healed. I did make another Doc apt last Wed but by then I had a scab and it seemed to be healing.. thurs the scab burst with Green puss... Thurs I called my friend who is a nurse said that Antio-biotics is a good idea and if I had any in my cabinet to take Keflex. I have done this since Thursday night and didn't see a huge difference Friday. Its now Sat and it looked ok, a scar was formed, it was wet in the middle... while dressing I lightly put a cloth over the incision so my clothing wouldn't run it and the scab got removed,,,, what do I do.,,, I feel like I cant win and I dont want my doctor to chastise me for wasting his time, or yell at me for coming sooner..., I feel as if Im not going to win no matter what I do,,, shouldnt I be improving being on antibiotics? :biggrin: thanks for your time,,,,

I think some of the more casual rude remarks are hard to take as well such as "Have you lost any weight yet" or "Is that thing even working" after losing 25 pounds and people can't notice , that is discouraging too! I can't imagine asking such a loser question to someone I knew was struggling with their weight and going on this journey...how unsupportive! One of the ladies was even fat herself! ughhhhh...but I think, we are just a nicer, more sensitive group of people and this is clearly not our issue to fix.

throw your scales in the bin girl! find somewhere where you can weigh in once a week maybe. then you wont worry yourself into total crazy spin. you can do without this stress. and as for the unsupportive ppl...pffffftttttt opionions are like butts!!!! everyone has one and you can bet your last dollar it will stink sooner or later!!! when i told my step mum she was kind of disapointed....but angeeee we love you just the way you areeeeee. but i dont love me just the way i am. i guess some ppl just feel threatened that we are taking some active control in helping ourselves. esp if they also have a weight problem. ***god forbid you get to the same weight or SMALLER** they take comfort in knowing theres always someone with a bigger tush blah blah you get my drift right??? i found every time i started loosing weight, a whole bunch of ppl would jump on my tail strings and hitch a ride cause they didnt want me to catch up. (one of my true friends told me this was going on) forget them and there blury vission. sort out your needs for you.:-) we are here for positive reinforcement 24/7 :-)

Welcome! I hope you find the band to be marvelous; I love mine. Truly. (can one love silicone?) As to unsupportive family...my husband (long term RN who confused this with gastric and after years in a GI lab was imbued with horror of all WLS) went with me to the seminar, asked a LOT of questions, and came away on board. Surgery is scary but so is obesity. Education can help them calm their fears, if they are worred about you. Anyway Nice to meet you RHepting!

Do whats comfortable for you. You may find afterwards, when you start getting nice comments, it's easier to tell. But there's nothing wrong with "keeping it in the family", if thats what you are comfortable with. I am finding I would gladly shout it from the top of the highest skyscraper! I have surprised my self with how many people I have lifted my shirt for and shown them my stitches, and now healing scars. I haven't had one unsupportive thing said to me. Family, friends, other parents in Boy Scouts, neighbors, etc. And to think, it used to irritate me when people would put their hands on my belly during my pregnancies to feel the baby kick without asking first. Now I'm walking around in public being an exhibitionist!!!:smile2:

Good morning gang - just a quick ck in... Apples - too funny - I had a dream this morning about bras - but it was with a girl who use to work here and she and a very unsupported one on :0).... Have a good weekend !!! Ya you have me pretty well tagged - except I can tell you all I come off a lot stronger than I feel sometimes It's my front Last night I wanted to eat - couldn't sleep - but thought - you can't so many pple think you are some lapband godess - so you can't let them down - So I didn't eat - wasn't really hungry just wanted to knock out... Got a busy day today and to nite - but will check in later Hugs

you might ask yourself these things in my opinion A) Why wouldn't I want to tell? am I ashamed of having the surgery? Are the opinions of negative/unsupportive people really important to me? C) Do I ever want the stigma of weight loss surgery to be less......do I want to help educate others about obesity and ways to help it? For me it was a matter of........I will not be ashamed of having surgery.......I did this surgery to get better......yes, it's maybe not the way some folks would havee done it but, it is the way I chose. Now, the topic rarely comes up anymore (i was banded back in 07) but when I first had surgery I told people and got nothing, nothing but support and encouragement. Now, maybe some talked behind my back and said "i'd of never done that" but, I never heard one negative comment. For those that do think weight loss surgery is the easy way out............they saw me.......they saw me struggle and fight for this just as anyone does who tries to lose weight. I thought it good first hand education for folks. How do we expect people to ever understand if we keep it hidde. in in a closet........like we should be ashamed for having surgery anyway, just my 2 cents

Good morning ladies! Cut my walk down to 2 miles this morning so I could get home early enough to make gazpacho for munch today - YUM!! Now I have to go sneak out during a staff meeting and get in another 2 miles, LOL Tamra, I tell anyone and everyone who will listen. I am a walking billboard for the lap-band! I am also an assertive person and no one f's with me, if you know what I mean! I have gotten very little in the way of unsupportive opinions, if I hear it I just say "yeah yeah, blah blah blah," pout my hand up and walk away. Really, I am that rude about it! We practiced that in my 14-week class :-) I figure that if they can be rude to me, they can handle my being rude back. Honestly, though, at least 95% of people have been TOTALLY supportive! They often ask "oh, you can have that removed after you lose weight, right?" and my response is "yes that's right I can - but they will have to pry it out of my cold, dead body, because I love this thing!" Feeling restriction again this morning - getting close to a week out from the last fill, which is when I started feeling it last time. VERY happy about that!! :-) Sneaking out for my walk now - TTFN

Gloucester, I am with you on this. He may have been a great musical artist and performer, but the most likely true accusations against him far overshadow that, in my opinion. My children are too precious to me and I would have never allowed them to be in that circumstance. My parents have been friends with another couple since they all went to high school together. That is over fifty years. About twelve years ago, they suddenly stopped hearing from them. My dad was finally able to talk to the wife and she broke down in tears to him. She volunteered at an elementary school and one day they had a police officer in, who happened to be a good friend of theirs, to do a talk with the children regarding good touch and bad touch. The next day, the same police officer showed up at her door. She thought it was a social visit. Turns out he was there to arrest her husband. After the presentation, a little girl, six years old, approached the police officer and told her the man next store had been "bad touching" her. It was my parent's friend. The little girl lived next door to them. He admitted to doing it and spent only eighteen months in jail as a "first time" offender. He said the reason he did it was because he had retired and was bored. I didn't buy that one bit. At sixty years of age I refuse to believe you retire, find yourself bored and think, "hey, I am going to go molest my little six year old neighbor." I was working for a psychiatric hospital at the time and discussed this with several of the doctors there. General concensus was this was just the first time he ever got caught. After all this, my parents decided to remain friends with them and support them. His wife stayed with him. When my daughter was six, my parents informed me they were coming down from Michigan to visit and wanted us to come over for dinner and spend time with them. Having a six year old daughter and an eight year old son, I refused. My mother was absolutely livid with me. She said I was being terribly unsupportive of a long time family friend. No matter how angry she was with me, it didn't matter. I am a parent and my job first and foremost is to protect my children. If I had taken my children around a man who I know is a convicted child molester, I would have failed my children as their parent. Eventually, my father and I had lunch and he came around to my side of things. I told him, what about all the times we sat there watching the news about these kind of people and you said there would be no trial or jail time because you would kill anyone who did that to your children or grandchildren? Just because the person who did it was a long time family friend, he should be forgiven. What about that little girls parents, how do you think they feel?

Aww, thats sad to hear. We all are going thtough the same thing.. so why cant we all support each other? but yeah, seeing how some people can be online, I can only imagine how some unsupportive people can be in person. Well keep in touch, we'll support each other!!!