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*Note these are my answers in that I have personally gone through them. So please take that under consideration when evaluating my answers. But I would strongly urge you to error on the side of caution here and always consult with your doctor/surgeon and dietitian when discussing your meal plan options post surgery.* Soda/carbonated beverages/beer: It's better to error on the side of caution with this. I waited about 9 months to 10 months out before I tried drinking a soda again. The carbonation does bother you a bit and makes things inside the tummy feel weird. So I have kept my drinking of carbonated beverages down to an absolute minimum. In fact if I've had 10 sodas in the past 12 months then that would be amazing, seeing how before I had the surgery I was easily drinking 4 to 6 liters of diet Pepsi a day. Now if I do have a soda, I usually will do bottle over a can soda. Let it go somewhat flat before consuming it. It cuts down the carbonation a bit and make me belch a hell of a lot less. Beer I haven't had since the surgery so I have no comment on it. But alcohol in general I feel the affect of it very very quickly now. This ranges from hard stuff like whisky, bourbons, to more milder drinks like coolers and mixed drinks. And because it gets me buzzed/high so quickly I too keep that to a small amount of indulgence. Basically I've only had two drinks of alcohol so far this year alone. And I'm indeed a one and done guy now. One drink will last me the entire night, because I can feel the affect of it so quickly now. Low carb diet forever? Yes for the most part you are on a low to no carb diet for the rest of your life. Get use to eating Proteins first and everything else secondary. It takes a while to get use to but once you do it will become second nature. Now from time to time I may consume a piece of toast every now and then. Rice give me strong gas/bloating so I will rarely consume it. The safe carbs that I have been able to get down are crackers for the most part and toast. Bread early on was indeed a no no and made me super sick. After I had gotten sick a few weeks post surgery for trying to eat bread, I basically stayed away from it till about 9-10 months out. I waited till I was fine with eating more tougher forms of Protein (beef/pork/lamb). No caffeine forever? I drink medium roasted coffee. It has caffeine in it. I don't drink it every day but when I do drink it, I have no issues with it.

Hey guys... I just got this article via email and it actually has some usful info. Alot of it is probably stuff you have read before, but some of it is new to me and worth thinking (& planning) about. I bolded the area that I found especially noteworthy. You just never know what tiny bit of information is the one that keeps the Cookies off the plate! Self Regulation Ben Dean, Ph.D. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. --anonymous Self Regulation Defined When individuals exert control over thoughts, behaviors, or emotions so that they can pursue goals or live up to standards, they are displaying the character strength of self-regulation (Peterson and Seligman, 2004). Self-regulation may involve either initiating a response (getting out of bed to go to the gym) or inhibiting a response (resisting the urge to swing by Dairy Queen on the way home from work). What Determines Success in Self-Regulation? Most obviously, the strength of the competing desire or impulse influences how successful we are in exerting self-regulation. (Think about the amount of self-regulation required for a seasoned smoker to quit vs. that required for an occasional smoker.) According to Baumeister (2002), effective self-regulation depends on three major factors: 1) Standards Standards refer to the goals or ideals that guide the desired response. Are you going to the gym because you want to be healthy? Thin? Energetic? Do you censor an angry comment because you want to be kind? Fair? A good leader? Sometimes self-regulation failures occur when a person holds two values or goals that are in conflict. For example, coaching clients may not meet their savings goals because their desire to save money conflicts with their desire to surround themselves with beauty or travel the world. Similarly, a client may never finish that novel because the required commitment for writing conflicts with her desire to spend evenings and weekends with her family. 2) Monitoring Self-control lapses often occur when we are not monitoring our behaviors. In a review of the literature on self-control failures, Baumeister (1994) noted that alcohol intoxication results in lapses in practically any domain that requires controlled behavior. After several drinks, people are less likely to monitor their spending, their comments, their eating, or even further drinking! Monitoring may also be the key to improving self-control. Polivy and colleagues (1986) did an interesting series of studies in which they first asked dieters and non-dieters to drink two large, calorie-filled milkshakes. Subsequently, they had the (optional) opportunity to eat all the candy they wanted. The dieters ate significantly more than the non-dieters at this time, presumably because their diets were already "blown" for the day and they were no longer monitoring what they ate. However, when the dieters were forced to attend to what they continued to eat (e.g., having to keep their empty wrappers in front of them), they ate significantly less. Similarly, research suggests that consumers spend less and make fewer "impulse buys" when they record every purchase. Interestingly, Baumeister and others note that few impulses are actually irresistible-even though they may feel that way at the time. Monitoring can effectively dampen the impulse. Even crimes of passion are rarely committed in the presence of an armed police officer! 3) Capacity to Change Having a well-defined goal (losing weight) and a careful record of one's behavior (no cookies eaten yet today) are useless without the ability to push oneself to take the necessary actions (buying produce, not Pringles, at the grocery store). Most research supports the notion that self-control is like a muscle. Our capacity to self regulate becomes depleted after use, and it can be developed through training once it rebounds from the initial fatigue. Laboratory studies repeatedly show that individuals show diminished ability to control their behaviors (e.g., resisting cookies, holding back a powerful emotion, or persisting in a difficult task) when they have previously engaged in another task requiring self-regulation. In related research, Twenge and colleagues (2001) found that making decisions or choices depletes the same finite resource that governs our ability to self regulate. (Imagine a weary holiday shopper who begins a day at the mall with a focused plan but who ends the day making impulse buys and eating a Cinnabon roll in the food court.) Diurnal cycles also seem to play a role in the ability to self regulate. Dieters rarely spring out of bed and break their diets. Individuals with alcohol dependence who take antabuse typically do so in the morning so that they will not be able to drink (without getting sick) later in the day when cravings intensify. Evidence suggests that our resources for self regulation are restored after a good night's sleep and then gradually depleted during the day as we make decisions and display willpower (or won't power!) in myriad ways. Peterson and Seligman (2004, p. 510) offer the following practical observation and recommendation: "To live a balanced, well-regulated life, it may be necessary to recognize that the capacity for controlling oneself depends on a limited resource that needs to be managed effectively and conserved for the most pressing or important demands. In practice, this entails that much of life must be guided by habit, routine, and other automatic processes, so that the demands for conscious control over oneself are kept down to the level that the self's limited resources can meet." Practical Recommendations The ability to self regulate effectively is associated with wide ranging positive outcomes: good school performance, better personal adjustment, better relationships, good leadership abilities, and greater interpersonal appeal. Conversely, poor self-regulation abilities are associated with individual and societal problems ranging from drug and alcohol addiction to crime to unwanted pregnancy. Interestingly, Seligman and Peterson (2004) did not find any potential drawbacks of too much self-regulatory ability. In those individuals whom we think of as having overly controlling and rigid personalities, it does not appear that a hyperactive self-regulatory mechanism is the culprit. Below are some practical recommendations inspired by the literature on self- regulation: 1) Understand that self-regulation can have a tremendously positive, life-changing impact in your life. And the good news is that self-regulation is like a muscle. You can strengthen it. So take heart! 2) Start by evaluating your own self-regulation. Take the VIA and discover where self-regulation falls in the rank order of your strengths. It can't be lower than mine-which was #24 the first time I took the VIA. 3) Cut yourself some slack. Self-regulation is a limited resource; so don't tackle everything at once. Start with one area that could use some work and focus on it. 4) We do our best when we are rested and our "gas tank" of self-regulation is full. Therefore, early in the day is better than late in the day. If you can, focus on the new self-regulation goal in the morning. For example, if it's exercise, run early in the day--Don't promise yourself you'll do it after work. 5) When setting a self-regulatory goal, define your standards and values. What are you working toward? Why is it that you are dragging yourself out of bed every morning to go to the gym? What would it mean to be healthier and more physically fit? And as you move toward the standard you have set for yourself, explore potential values conflicts. Does spending more time at the gym mean skipping Breakfast with your kids before school? Is it worth it? 6) Monitor your behaviors. If you are trying to stop swearing, keep a log of all violations. If you are trying to eat less, keep a food diary and avoid eating while your attention is diverted elsewhere (e.g., to the television or cocktail party conversation). 7) Take care of yourself. Our ability to self regulate is impaired when we are fatigued or stressed, so watch out for evenings when your reservoir is low. Use routines and schedules to minimize unnecessary but stressful decisions and temptations. For example, a dieter might order groceries online or strictly adhere to a list to avoid agonizing moments in the snack aisle. 8) Pace yourself. Remember that even dissimilar activities like resisting a cigarette, making a series of difficult decisions, keeping your cool at work, and persevering on a writing task all deplete the reservoir. Don't make the classic New Year's Resolution mistake and attempt to stop all vices at once. 9) Look for small opportunities to strengthen your self-regulation muscle. If you love pumpkin pie, reduce the risk but test yourself mildly. Eat a full meal at a restaurant so that you're not hungry; then deliberately walk by the dessert counter and look at the pumpkin pie. If you love to read late at night but it keeps you up too late, plan to stop reading one night at exactly the top of the hour, even if you're in the middle of a page. 10) Sleep! Don't start your day with your self-regulatory tank (or your stomach) only half full. 11) Learn more. For further ideas, start with Baumeister's Losing Control : How and Why People Fail at Self-Regulation or the chapter on self-regulation in Peterson and Seligman's Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. If you have strengthened your own self-regulation muscle, I would love to hear your story. What was your problem before? What did you do to improve your ability to self-regulate? Please share your good ideas with me so that I can share them with Coaching Toward Happiness readers. Send me an e-mail with SELF REGULATION in all caps in the subject line. I will assume I can use your name if I print your idea in the next newsletter unless you tell me otherwise. Self Regulation References Baumeister, R.F. (2002). Yielding to temptation: Self-Control Failure, Impulsive Purchasing, and Consumer Behavior. Journal of Consumer Research 28, 670-676. Baumeister, R.F., Heatherton, T.F., & Tice, D.M. (1994). Losing control: How and why people fail at self-regulation. San Diego, California: Academic Press. Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association/New York: Oxford University Press. Polivy, J.C., Herman, P.H., Hackett, R., & Kuleshnyk, I. (1986). The effects of self-attention and public attention in eating in restrained and unrestrained subjects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 50, 1253-1260. Twenge, J.M., Baumeister, R.F., Tice, D.M., Schmeichel, B. (2001). Decision Fatigue: Making Multiple Personal Decisions Depletes the Self's Resources. Unpublished manuscript, Department of Psychology, Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH 44106. A Story of Personal Courage In last month's issue of Coaching Toward Happiness, I invited readers to submit personal stories of courage. What an honor it was to read these tremendous stories. Here, with permission, is a beautiful story written by Debbie Kemp that many of us can relate to as it involves losing a parent. Debbie, thank you for your honesty, courage, and openness: Thanks for the opportunity to write and think about this Ben. Very inspirational and helpful Here's my story.... My father died very suddenly about 5 years ago. When I got the news, I started to fall apart. I'd lost my dad and I needed taking care of. Within moments my thoughts shifted more importantly to my mom who had just lost her partner of over 50 years. She needed me and I needed courage! I was so afraid of falling apart and not being the "'rock" for Mom. I was so afraid of feeling my grief - I'd never lost a dad before. To get to Mom's means a 1.5 hr ferry ride. I had time in the line up and time on the ferry to look for the courage I needed to help Mom. An amazing thing happened during that ferry ride. I somehow transcended my own fear and grief and was brought face to face with millions of people around the world who had lost a loved one. The images were of men, women, children in countries I've never even visited before, and in that moment I had courage. I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only person to have ever had to deal with death. I found a peace that enveloped me and held me together over the next week as we made arrangements and comforted our friends and family. A few weeks ago, I was experimenting with the Reflected Best Self exercise (University of Michigan). I had my mom and sister participate to share their stories about me at my best. They both wrote about my strength during that difficult time and how they couldn't have pulled through without me. They had never thought of me as strong or courageous - nor had I. Debbie Debbie Kemp aVirtualRetreat.com 604.948.8058 Upcoming Training and Speaking Schedule MentorCoach® Dr. Dean founded MentorCoach in 1997. It is an internationally recognized coach training school focused on training helping professionals to develop rewarding coaching practices. The Winter MentorCoach Training Programs. begin (via teleconference) on December 8, 2005 at 12:00 Noon Eastern** December 8, 2005 at 8:00 PM Eastern** January 27, 2006 at 12:00 PM Eastern -. **Students can easily join this class on January 5th, receiving tapes of the first two hours. For details, click here. Blue Sky Visioning Master Class With Ben Dean and Anne Durand begins January 25, 2006. 12 Wednesdays at 1:00 pm Eastern (NY time) 6:00 pm GMT. How to create a very large vision of what your life could be. Details: click here. CTH Speaking Schedule Ben Dean, Ph.D. Ben will be speaking on "Coaching and the New Science of Happiness" in Baltimore, MD (2/10/06) Philadelphia (2/12/06) Dallas (3/10/06) Houston (3/12/06) Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, Washington, DC (3/17/05-3/19/05) For details, click here. If you received this newsletter from a friend and want to subscribe, click here. If you'd like to forward it to a friend, click here.Â

You're already at least halfway there! You recognize that you eat for emotional comfort...now, all you gotta do is decide if you CHOOSE to do this, or NOT. Put it in terms of your choice. Just like regular, "normal" people, we choose how we comfort ourselves, and there are lots of ways: alcohol, sleep, sex, drugs, food, reading, prayer, meditation, exercise, talking, etc. Give yourself the choice. Maybe you'll see you have some choices, and don't have to choose the same old way. Sorry there is so much going on. I like the one day at a time approach, and when I get all freaked out, I usually realize I'm not using it! Good luck! Cindy

KJcasegreg, If your stats are correct, you have succeeded TREMENDOUSLY! I can't even imagine what it took to get you there. DO NOT get down on yourself. You are remarkable to have come this far. And I do agree that you should talk to a professional. You need to let out your feelings in a safe way, and not turn to alcohol. Remember, not only are they empty calories, but drinks will adversely affect your kidneys and liver, which post-surgery are already working OT. Don't sabotage your success. I wish you luck, friend....and keep chatting with us. We are here for you!!!

That's probably the best plan. Some doctors aren't as restrictive about the alcohol, but anything bubbly is bad. It's also generally pretty high in calories, and it can affect you pretty quickly because you can't really have a lot of food in your stomach to absorb it. One bite of cake would probably be fine except for the sugar rush, but if you have any sort of carb sensitivity (which a lot of people who need this surgery have), it's just going to make you want more more more and it's best to avoid it. Have a happy birthday, and enjoy all the non-food-and-drink things that are great about life!

I tried the ice...didn't help too much so today I went to my local drugs store and bought alcohol swabs with Benzocaine in them and it worked AWESOMELY!

I tried wine at 4 weeks out made me naseaus! I tried the starberry and peach margarita those ready to go pouches this weekend at 5 weeks out nd they went down so mooth i loooovveeee!!! Beer but its not gonna be a part of my life anymore i dont want to drink Anythin carbonated i take a super small sip just for taste when i get my hubby one but thts it im glad i gound those margarita pouches though they are 5%alcohol nd i got the light margaritas with less calories i tried a piña colada 6% alcohol nd it was too strong on my tummy

This was always my main question and my surgeon said no beer but after 5-6 months you can introduce hard liquor, however he said it will take much less to get drunk because the alcohol is immediately absorbed into the body.

My doc said I'm good 4 weeks out to drink alcohol.

Every dr is different. mine said at 6 weeks, I could have a small amt of alcohol. I drink about 3oz of red wine about 4-6x a week. Had a sip off hubbys beer a few days ago (3 mths out) and that was enuf for me. I do miss a Corona Light on a hot day. Yes, we're not sposed to have beer ever again. That being said, as I said I had a sip of hubbys. had a sip of his diet Coke last week and the world didn't come to an end. I would never drink more than a sip tho. Too scared of what would happen.... Not sure he should be drinking to excess however, no matter how far out he is...

Decide if drinking is really something you want to do. As a post op, I went through a short lived phase between month 4-6, having a drink a couple times a month. Yes, it was a little nice to relax with it. However, desire for it has since vanished. None whatsoever. Maybe most people drink post op just because they were not allowed to do it after surgery. Again, think about what drinking really means to you at a coping level, whether that means coping in social events or coping with your own subconscious. You may find that you really do not need it and, then, will find out you really do not want it. Sugar is kind of in a similar boat as alcohol post op. Complex id stuff to think about, but it might help. One of the best artifacts for me personally as a post VSG is coming to grips with who I am and not what I think others want me to be.

My clinic guidance just says that if you choose to drink alcohol, make sure that you are aware that it will likely stall your weightloss and to be sure that you are willing to make the trade. Personally, I'm planning to wait until I'm well into maintenance before I throw that into the mix, but I've never once craved an alcoholic drink. I almost never have a drink unless I'm out with friends and we're all having drinks. Even then, it's not uncommon for me to order a "mocktail".

Whey Isolate Protein is the best quality protein you can get. It's not a matter of taste. Rather, It has more SOLUABLE protein in it & Your body absorbs and metabolizes this type far better than any other. I usually get it from Vitamin World or GNC. I make a concoction-smoothie. Milk based (more protein), I toss the recommended amount of chocolate powder in the blender with Wymanns Wild Blueberries (antioxidants) straight out of the freezer (buy them in the frozen section). To that, I add Colon Cleanser (psyllium husks) to keep things moving along, *Warning! Too much will bind you & be a whole other 'situation' to deal with before you can resume normalcy with your band. I add liquid Collegen to restore/maintain elasticity, L-Glutemen (sp?) for muscle-support, Crushed Flaxseed or flax seed oil for Omega 3's (heart & brain function), liquid L-Carnitine (metabolizes fat), and Milk Thistle (supports weight loss). I take my multi-Vitamins & some hyaluronic acid (keeps joints cushy and skin taught) with the shake. Muscle Milk is good in a pinch too. Muscle Milk has a good array of vitamins & nutrients in it. They sell it pre-mixed at convenience stores with the individual drinks or you can buy it in quantity at the big box stores. They have powder too. Muscle Milk has more alcohol sugars (sweeteners) in it than whey isolate protein but if you really need to gas up quick & grab a quick meal for the road- Muscle Milk works. I always use Protein shakes as a Meal Replacement. Not something you want to gulp all day or suck down with meals as your 'drink". I don't count calories, but these shakes ARE caloric! Protein Bars are good in a pinch too. I like Pure Protein best & buy in bulk at BJ's. Great to keep a couple bars in the purse for those times when you're ravinous and won't get home anytime soon- like when you have to pop & go to work w/ no time to fix a lunch or eat breakfast. The other kind I like are "Supreme"-something found in gas-convenience stores near the candy. They're bigger & feels SO naughty because they taste just like gooey candy bars. When I get the GOTTA HAVE candy/ chocolate, I hit up a small protein bar- guilt free. Best luck in your journey.

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Keep in mind that some of these (the chocolate bars in particular) are high-fat, so they are not to be constantly eaten. But I tried the chocolate w/ almonds tonight and thought it was good. No sugar or sugar alcohols! http://www.eatwellbewell.com/index.htm

I am almost 60 days post op. I am having a so so time. this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The biggest problem I'm having is the lack of support for my family and friends. my sister who I thought was my biggest supporter turns out to be trying to sabotage me. every time I'm with her she always is offering me food for offering to go out to eat or trying to give me alcohol. I heard her talking to another family member about how upset she is that I'm losing so much weight and she's trying to lose weight The right way. she said she would be damn if she will have me become skinnier than her so she's trying to make me fail. this is very hurtful why would somebody do this? I have a long road to go and I'm just afraid that I'm not gonna be able to go through it alone. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Yes, generally sugar alcohols are not included in net carbs, but it might give you tummy troubles. I haven't found that to be an issue for me, but I tend to keep my portions small when eating things with sugar alcohols (better anyway, since these aren't usually the healthiest foods). I haven't tried the doughnuts, but I did like the Welch's Zero Sugar Fruit Gummies. I haven't been able to find those again, not even on Amazon!

Has anyone tried these protein doughnuts. I found them on Amazon?? They are pretty expensive, but… does anyone know how they figure out the net carbs? I googled it and it’s something about the sugar alcohol they use being subtracted but I’ve never heard of this.

My doctor said to avoid alcohol for almost 6-9 weeks. 6 weeks was good but 9 would be best. Edited to add: just looked through my paperwork from the doc and they recommend a year without alcohol. I'm not a big drinker (maybe once a month) but I do have a vacation coming up so I don't know how I'll do.

Your tolerance for alcohol really changes. I used to dring Tangueray 10. It's a really good gin. Since surgery I haven't had any. I have switched to red wine. I googled red wine and it says that most red wines don't have much sugar in it due to the processing of it. Two glasses is my limit.

I came down with a cold about two weeks after surgery too. Without considering the consequences, I took NyQuil one night. Don't! It burned, and I was staggering drunk when I got up to use the restroom during the night. Watch out for alcohol in the liquid cold meds.

Thanks everyone. Your responses are greatly appreciated. I should probably say that I'm afraid of these questions because I'm afraid of being denied! I have heard of folks "failing" their psych evaluations for various reasons including the possibility of crossover addictions and alcoholism. I feel like this is my last best chance to get this done. My work insurance won't cover so I bought an exchange plan and want to get this all approved as quickly as possible.

I had a few sips about a week ago. It was a charity event that was being hosted at a Wine Tasting School. Fortunately it wasn't impolite to take a sip or 2 and then dump what was left (and they were pouring very small amounts anyway). Even at my highest weight.. I was a bit of a light weight when it came to alcohol. Fortunately this was small enough & stretched out enough time wise that it didn't really hit me. I will say that when I got home I was famished.. even after having a protein bar on the way home.

Yeah, you really have to make a conscious decision to stay away from the foods that you know were triggers to overeating, and chips are one of them. Pure carb and fat calories, very little nutritional value and it's impossible to stop, once you start. So it's a little like being a recovering alcoholic...those things that you know have been triggers for you, you just have to give them up...because they will trigger relapses.