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Showing results for 'unsupportive'.
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Treadmill VS Elliptical
Coo replied to bandster_1007's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
I use a treadmill and recumbent exercise bike due to a back injury. I had surgery on my lumbar spine and so I can't sit unsupported (like a regular exercise bike) and also mini tramps and walkers, ellipticals etc are totally out. Unfortunately I know this by experience :drool: I think I would be totally brain dead if I didn't have music dvd's on. It not only gives me beat to walk to but something to look at! Course a new murder (which I haven't seen before) is good for quieter sessions :tongue2: -
Three Weight Loss Surgery Maintenance Models - Abstinence, No Dieting, or Mindful Moderation
BestDayEver replied to VSGAnn2014's topic in WLS Veteran's Forum
I'm so sad when I read about unsupportive family members bringing home or cooking tempting foods. I have to say I pretty much control the food in my home. I do the grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking. Having this control has really helped me avoid my trigger foods. -
Im Very Confused I Dont Know What To Do
CandySmooch replied to fee's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
apparently she hasn't cared enough to come back and check her supportive posts from everyone.........why all antsy in the pantsy?? Sometimes I don't get a lot of posts or answers to threads I start .........no need to up and call everyone unsupportive and not come back..jeesh -
What do you say when you get THAT question??
TruBlueSue replied to Boo Boo Kitty's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
No one knows about my band 'cept my bandster support buddies and my hubby...My nosey mother is starting to be a pain in the ass, so I have told her basically portion control and exercise...I told her I literally let myself have two bites of anything I want - which is true. She is toxic and would have been unsupportive if I told her I had the band - and if she found out Mexico, she'd lose her miind!!! My relationship with her and the boundaries we've gotten comfortable with are too important to lose or screw up over the surgery... -
My parents certainly aren't perfect, but after reading so many posts on here, I am so thankful that they are them. My Mom, Dad, and brother, along with my partner, have been my rock throughout this entire journey. To those with unsupportive families, I'm sorry. Do what you know is right for you and move forward with improving your health and your life. Ultimately we are responsible for our own health and happiness!
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Question: Was I too hard on the hubby?
illude replied to skbishop78's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I'm not so sure but I'm begining to think that the majority of the "men" that don't have a problem with weight are unsupportive & smartass's when it comes to us. B'cuz my man although we aren't married he is the same way I cook for him everyday although most the time I don't eat because he is a beef eater and I can't eat beef....BUT never-the-less he knows that i've been trying really hard to meet my goal weight and lastnight he really up-set me....maybe I'm too sensitive but he's all the time telling me "you don't need to lose anymore weight, your fine how u are if i didn't like u big then I wouldn't be with u" well he knew that I had my surgery when we first got together to be smaller I didn't do this for him I did it for myself but lastnight we was talking about my doctor's appt. Monday I'm hoping I've lost atleast 20lbs when i go back but he just comes out of no-where and says "no I don't believe u've lost anything b'cuz if u had I would be able to pick u up and carry you"........that hurt my feelings because he knows I'm senstive ....and he's skinny so it doesn't matter what he eats or how much he eats......I just think that all men are unsensitive and smartass's to a certain extent....i'll get over this eventually....lol but I think that maybe we should be like them in certain cases....something that's really special or important to them that they are sensitive about just bash it like they do us at times......LOL i don't know I'm ramblin'.....but you wasn't at all hard on him he deserves for u to be angry with him... -
Very few people know about my surgery. This was a hard enough thing to do without the possibility of unsupportive people and negative comments
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Almost Approved for Surgery! Dr. Atkinson, Las Vegas, NV
kerbearsjourney posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Hello all! I am brand new to the boards and wanted to ask a few questions... 1. Has anyone had surgery w/Dr. Atkinson? If so tell me about him/it! 2. My insurance is being wonky and now telling me I have to have a second psych consult even though they passed me on the first one, has anyone dealt with something like this? 3. I have a desk job, how many days of recovery from the actual surgery will I need? (we were trying to get everything done so I could have the surgery on my vacation but b/c the insurance is being wonky that won't happen...) 4. Has anyone ever had a family member be super unsupportive? to the point where she won't even speak to me because I'm taking the "easy way out".... Thanks in advance! I hope to get a lot of answers/experience from this community and look forward to sharing my successes and struggles! "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston S. Churchill -
What the heck?!?! Why do people say the things that they do?
KimDB replied to gingerjane's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I have finally, FINALLY, also started to tell some select people again about the surgery, now that they have asked me if I am losing weight, etc., and have been surprised by their reactions! Some people I thought would be unsupportive have actually called me courageous! On the other hand, I also did tell my sister-in-law last week. I had been putting that one off for quite a while. She is always dieting off her extra thirty or so pounds with this fast or that gadget, but I think it has always comforted her that no matter what she weighs, I always weigh more. She's always all about what I am eating or not eating or why? am I not eating??? Her reaction was weird !!!! It was like I mentioned it, and then she turned on a dime and started immediately talking about something else! Like, 'I am having weight loss surgery' and she was like 'oh look, cows!' And then started babbling something about how she was at the car dealership with her Lexus and her boss gave her some assignment, blah blah blah. And not a word since! It's like radio silence! Wow, I expected lots of research on dead lap band patients and statistics, instead it's like I said something forbidden. Like if she ignores it, it won't be true. Like I said, weird !!! :tt1: -
Anyone Wish They Had Not Done Their Gastric Sleeve Surgery?
ATLGirl replied to Karelia's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I'm glad you have all us "meanies" figured out in the short month you've been apart of this "unsupportive" community. Your post clearly shows you know NOTHING about the VSG family and the tremendous support (and sometimes tough to swallow truths) given here. And thanks for pointing Tamz to your "other" site where the people are more "informed" and "loving." That you care not to mention. -
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I feel like I have no familial support for my surgery.
liveaboard15 replied to itami o's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Are you a minor or something? Me personally i dont care what anyone else thinks that includes family. If i am doing something to better myself then i will go with it regardless of what other people think. Not sure how they can sue the surgeon if you are an adult. If you have friends that are supportive those can be better than unsupportive family many times. -
^^^This. Great post. Also you might mention that the surgery helps you lose and maintain weight loss easier (but it is NOT easy). And tell him that the sex will get better again with the surgery. That should shut him up...for a minute. (j/k guys! Only directing that rude sexist comment to dudes who are non-supportive of their wives. And I will come up with one for chix who are unsupportive of their hubs efforts in this as well if you want!)
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Texas Diva, You have just got me a whole lot more excited about my surgery Oct 4th 2011!!! You look AMAZING!!! I am sad to read that you have haters!!! What is wrong with people? I have had a bunch of people at the weight loss clinic tell me to only tell the closest people to me and only the one's I knew would be supportive. I have told my immediate family and my closest friends, as well as a couple other (over weight friends) who I have found out have also had weight loss surgery! I didn't think anyone would be unsupportive, but I also don't want people to associate me as the "weight loss surgery girl". I realized what they meant when I called and told my uncle who lives in CA (I'm in WA). He was very weird about it and made me feel very awkward. Then he started telling me how to diet and what I should be doing to lose weight (as if I haven't tried and am going to cancel the surgery and just do what he says). I realized really fast why they said you can't un-tell people!!! I wish I could take that phone call back and just allow him to be upset with me later for not telling him! I also wish he had asked me questions about the surgery rather than lecture me on diet! Now he knows nothing about whats going on, and is no doubt telling my other CA relatives. He must have had some pent up frustrations because he also lectured me on my mom's health, saying that she is unhealthy. Yeah, she has terminal cancer! I would say that's unhealthy!!! She was obese her adult life like me, but has now lost a lot of weight due to the cancer. I am hoping he will call me soon and at least talk to me about it (I don't want to call him!) I am hoping he told my aunt and she will talk sense into him. We are very close and I would hate for this to drive a wedge between us! WOW, thanks to anyone who reads this whole thing! I guess I really needed to get this off my chest! I look forward to hopefully start looking like a coke bottle soon!!!! I really don't think I will have any haters, but if I do.... They are not worth my time!
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Just did some real disrespectful stuff!
gustavio replied to Anthony74's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Don't delete the site. There is so much helpful info and so many helpful and kind people on here. Don't be afraid to post exactly what you want also! You will find after being on here for a while that it's the same handful of people that are always rude and have sarcastic, childish and unsupportive responses non stop. It shouldn't be like that but it is. Be the adult and look past them or if it's really bothersome to you, block them. I stopped reading responses from said handful of people. I scan right over them. They mean nothing to me. I don't know them and they don't know me. With that said, Grilled cheese may not have been the best choice but come on, you ate it, nobody else. Not sure why it effects them so much. Congrats on your weight-loss and glad your mistake taught you a lesson. We have all learned things the hard way. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App -
How did you handle telling everyone about your surgery
Ballermom replied to vincereautmori's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Wow! I'm in awe of you. I wished I had your courage. Because some of the people I told were unsupportive and till this day the relationships has changed or maybe i just got thinner. Lol However, I told my husband and yes he was concerned in the beginning and did not give full support. But when I took him my psychologist appointment , he, from then on begin to give full support. I am Telling you in the hospital he did everything for me including holding me up the whole entire time. My husband has been a great support person. In this situation you really need someone. But I commend you for being able to be as strong as you are. And I wish again I wish I had your courage for the other people i told. Because some people did turn their backs on me. I tell you I couldn't have done this without my husband so you have to consider what's best for you. We are here to support you regardless of what decision I respect you. congratulations for start this journey -
I have chosen Dr. Aceves as my surgeon and I am scheduled for January 5th. Deposit has gone through and flights are booked! Other than the normal anxiety and fear I am really struggling with family support. My father does not support this surgery and I was wondering how any of you dealt with a family member who was unsupportive? Are there any websites or aricles I could send him that would ease his mind? Keep in mind, I am young (24) and his youngest daughter...
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I can't add much to this as I agree with everyone's response don't let unsupportive ppl derail your hard work to this point and beyond to surgery and after you shouldn't need any help after the sleeve is a easy procedure with little pain after you will be nauseas but they will give you meds for that follow your diet and instruction u will be absolutely fine some ppl just like preaching and feeling superior to others don't allow it in your mind if they can't support they need to keep freaking quiet speak up for yourself sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders and we can't count on others to be there when we need it I've found they ask and expect us to drop everything tho well now u put yourself first and let them figure out how to run their own life and stop trying to run yours
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Feeling annoyed with my bf... need advice
Casds84 replied to krazykristen's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I wouldn't even go. It is time to focus on you. It seems like you have been focused on his kid and him and now that the attention is on you, he wants to act like a crybaby. What we are going through IS a MAJOR surgery. It is major and life changing. Maybe he knows how much more confident this will make you and isn't so supportive. I broke up with my boyfriend in February because he was very unsupportive and said, and I quote, "I won't be able to have sex with you because I will not be sexually attracted. I will have to have sex with other women and you will just have to deal with it since this is all your decision." Excuse me?! You are the weakest link, Goodbye! Sex with other women and me accept it...I think not. He didn't want me to get below 250, but actually said he would be okay with me being 1,000 lbs and actually wanted that (I was over 400 when we started dating)! So he was trying to set my goals and plan things for me that were my decision. I finally had enough. I am from Texas, the heat is atrocious, even with it cooling down. Take your time and heal. Exercise at your pace. Don't overdo it and get caught out and have no help because he seems like he would be of no support. You need to focus on you! This is YOUR TIME TO SHINE! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App -
how to deal with "non-supporters"
hopeliveshere posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I just booked a space at a weight loss seminar for april 18 (im very excited). I mentioned this to my bff and she basically attacked me. She started saying how i dont need it and im only doing it to improve my looks ( which is way off base) and that i havent been dieting seriously. and i have. true i do not have any other comorbidities but i have many reasons why i want to do this which im sure you all could understand. she starts saying how im gonna have so much recovery time and im gonna have to do this this and this. How do you deal when someone is totally unsupportive of your decision? She thinks she knows everything about the world. should i just cut her out of the loop of this decision? -
well then Tricia... you go ahead and take down the post and remove your account if you so choose... this is a free country and you have every right to do so. I for sure and i'm going to speak for Mis too.. (hope that's ok) didn't mean to insult you only to correct mis-given information. YOU wrote: Pancreatitis caused by gallstones, which were a result of my band. If someone else comes on here and sees what you wrote they are getting uneducated and misinformed information. Simply, the band does not cause gallbladder disease. Your weightloss was the cause... not the band. And unless there were OTHER things wrong with your band, there are no medically necessary reasons why a LB has to be removed to preform a gallbladder removal surgery. I wish you all the success in your future endeavors.. MsMaui are you saying that when someone comes on this forum and gives incorrect information, we should all sit silently as to not hurt or seem "unsupportive"? That just won't happen. I have been here for over three years and have been and still are very supportive to all, but i won't sit by and have people give out uneducated and miss-guided information. If the post would have read that she had gallbladder disease and "choose" to have her band out... that would be a different story. But to say that the Band cause it is just completely false.... I challenge you and any other to find any where proof that the LB causes Gallbladder disease ... If you can i will issues an apology..
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Secret Surgery
SouthernFriedPugs replied to bigloser2014's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I'm on here because my sister just had bypass surgery on Monday so I really have no room to speak. However, I just want to tell all of you with unsupportive friends and family that they are jerks. I've seen how my sister has struggled since she was a child with weight. I've seen her lose and gain. I've seen her not go to amusement parks because she was terrified that she wouldn't fit on the rides. This surgery was an enormously difficult choice for her, but one she made for her physical and mental health. Anyone that sneers at you for "taking the easy way out" needs to be flogged. The easy way out is to give up. I didn't know a lot about these surgeries until my sister really started investigating them. Yes, they are drastic and life-changing. Isn't that the point? So is cancer treatment. No one tells a chemo patient they are taking the easy way out. That if they had just tried harder, they could have beat cancer. I applaud every single one of you. You are taking control over your life in a way that you couldn't before. I wish I could give you all hugs. -
Another "I told some people at work and some friends" thread :-)
Slim-Shady replied to no onions's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
My sister and I are doing this together. We've told our mother, and my husband ONLY. That's all we intend to tell! We expect the questions, the whispers, and the unsupportive people. We are even expecting the ones who will pretend to be supportive, but are actually the biggest haters! Makes us no nevermind; we are excited about our journey, not them! Hate on haters! -
If you’re considering weight loss surgery or you’ve gotten it, you’ve gone through a lot. You’ve fought obesity for years. You may have had to bite your tongue when friends, family members, and even strangers have been unsupportive or even downright mean. You’ve worked hard at many diets, especially (if you’re a post-op patient) your pre-op and post-op diets. That’s all worth being proud of! There are plenty of other things to be proud of, too. There are the milestones, like losing your first 50 lbs., getting under 300 or 200 lbs for the first time, or getting out of the “obese” BMI category and into the “overweight” or “normal weight” category. And there are may be other sources of pride, like seeing your face in a mirror and being happy with it for once. So, what are you most proud of in your weight loss journey? For me, I think it has been my ability to maintain my weight loss without fixating on food. Instead, I am able to enjoy a fuller life.
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I too encountered unsupportive people but my husband did finally come around after I scheduled my surgery. I realized after encountering unsupportive family that I was better off not telling them beforehand because I did not want to hear their negative opinions when they had not researched the band and had no clue what they were talking about. After it was all said and done I did tell all my relatives and got nothing but support from them. I feel it is best for your spouse to attend the consult appointment with you. After talking with my surgeon, my husband felt much better about my decision and gave me all his support. I hope everything turns out great for you. Donna
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What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"
GoddessAthena replied to bigjoe102's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Becoming diabetic along with HBP I wanted to be here a long time for my son.....on the negative side, eating dinner in the room because I had a verbally unsupportive husband who thought it was being "truthful" to call other people fat.
