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Just like a recovering alcoholic, I'm a recovering food addict. It's going to be a life time addiction that I will have to manage forrrrrrrreverrrrrrrr.

As we have seen threads on food addict for if I could eat like a normal person, I would eat a lot. I think denial transcends the need to admit we are addicts. I know people with a drinking problem who are not alcoholics. I think I have or maybe had a totally false reality of how I got to be a morbidly obese person. How many times did I get my thyroid tested and when elevated felt it was justification to abuse food because I had something else to blame it on. When told I had a motility issue, I could also excuse my obesity. How high on my horse did I sit when I was able to lose weight "the hard way" judging those weaker than me, then excuse my weight regain because of a family tragedy or extra work load at the office? Addiction? HAH! Only the weak are addicts. Every addict has the ability to choose not to make poor decisions. It is their own personal responsibility to take care of themselves. I can lose weight if I want to. I've done it before ... it is just all these other circumstances in my life which trip me up along the way. Right? For me, denial is huge. Paired with a self-righteous ego ... I can be deadly to myself and downright mean to others. The drug addict could stop their abuse if they wanted to ... the person smoking a pack a week just needs to stop buying cigarettes ... the obese person just needs to eat less and move more ... you can have just one drink at the party ... Really? Is it really just that simple? For some, it may be and I think the further out I get, the easier it is to slip back into this type of thinking as it relates to food. If I forget where I came from, it is easier to deny I ever had an issue with my relationship with food as I did when I was in the thick of it. Only you can decide whether or not you are a food addict, but I know my journey on my sleeved life has revealed a long tale of denial. Anybody else relate?

Okay, all different programs are slightly different. I don't know if they are right or wrong but they are generally similar guideliness. I guess each of us has to decide if we want to follow our surgeon's program or modify it. I followed mine very closely, but when I got to about 7 - 8 months out I went low total carbs; before that I had been on a more moderate carb program. If you want to maximize your weight loss it is really pretty simple. I tend to agree that most fruits have too much "sugar" and carbs in them. If you are like me, that will trigger a desire to snack and during the weight loss phase most of us want to maximize results. So, ideally you would be getting at least 80G of Protein. So all meals lead the way with a protein source. Snacks should be protein snacks. Secondarily is low carb veggies - this is your greens, your salads, really all veggies except the high carb ones like potato, corn etc. Third would be the limited quantity healthy but alot of sugar and carbs. An example might be berries and greek yogurt - alot of carbs but alot of benefits. Fourth catagory I would personally just not have during the weight loss phase: Bread, Pasta, alcohol, potatoes, fast food, rice, junk food of all types, most restaurant food, most snack foods - just don't have them around. So, an example of how you might incorportate this/quantities adjusted for how far along you are: Breakfast: egg and link of high protein low carb sausage or a green pepper and onion and sausage egg beater omelette Lunch: sandwish meat (or tuna or chicken salad )and cheese all wrapped up in a lettuce leaf Afternoon snack: Ostrim Jerky, Protein Drink or something like that Dinner: protein entree (salmon, chicken, other fish, seafood beef etc) with a side salad or veggies Dessert/pre bedtime snack: greek yogurt and berries or perhaps a protein hot coco drink. So, what is obvious in my example is that your family can eat very similar - they have bread with their sandwiches and a starch with dinner... and bigger portions.

Ok trying again to respond but sent you a PM with what I found VASELINE TOTAL MOISTURE CONDITIONING LOTION. With the following ingredients Water, Glycerin, Stearic Acid, Glycol Stearate, Petrolatum, Isopropyl Palmitate, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Sterol, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil or Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Avena Sativa (Oat) Kernel Protein, Sodium Stearoyl-2-Lactylate, Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E Acetate), Retinyl Palmitate (Vitamin A Palmitate), Carbomer, Lecithin, Keratin, Dimethicone, Glyceryl Stearate, Cetyl Alcohol, Sodium PCA, Potassium Lactate, Lactic Acid, Collagen Amino Acids, Mineral Water, Fragrance, Triethanolamine, Magnesium Aluminum Silicate, Urea, Methylparaben, DMDM Hydantoin, Iodopropynyl Butylcarbamate, Disodium EDTA, Titanium Dioxide (CI 77891). Looks to have both ingredients you want. Good luck

Thanks Christina.Rose I am so pleased for you that its started to work again....that's fantastic news!!!! For me I have had no end of frustrations and complications and I am now getting severe reflux when my band is filled to a semi restrictive level. I have had "3" port revisions and I still have trouble eating with my bra on as the port is now under my bra line (4th spot they had put the port and only successful spot too) I had lost a lot of weight but then I think I have had a slip as I started to get really hungry all of a sudden and started gaining weight slowly but surely. Not long after that my reflux got to a point where it was so bad prescription meds couldnt help me so I had to have it let out and am almost back to square 1. My specialist wants me to have it out to prevent any or any further damage. I just dont think that the band likes me haha In all seriousness I think that my body is not agreeing with the foreign bodies (band and port) and is rejecting them. I have given it 4 years but now there seems to be a better option for me I think. SleeveConvert.......I know that the band and sleeve are only a tool and are not an easy answer. Anyone who has gone through what I have gone through to try to lose weight can not say I am taking the easy road. There is no magic thing that will make it work I know, and there are a lot easier ways to lose weight than what I personally have been through with 5 surgeries (and counting) so far for weight loss. but......I need this or it will never stay off This is because I am committed and by having to have my band unfilled for 6 months due to complications and gaining 30 kilos in that short time confirms to me that I can't do this forever without my tool for weight loss that is the band/sleeve. I am taking the hardest road possible and trying my best with every effort and I do get upset when all that I have been through people comment that I am taking the 'easy way out' I wish some could see/feel what I have been through to know its been a nightmare and something that I have to do in order to live life normally. I am morbidly obese and need help and this is my last resort. Something that made me feel a little better and understand obesity a lot better and may help some of you: I went to visit my surgeon after gaining back my 30 kilo's in 6 months. I said to him "I am so dissapointed with myself and embarressed that I have allowed myself to gain so much weight so quickly......I don't know how I let myself get to this" He quickly said "Do not ever say that about yourself, I do not ever want to hear you speak like that again. Obesity is a DISEASE! Just like diabeties etc........its most often genetic and such a terrible disease. There is no magic pill only help to control it. One day there might be but now and in the near future there is not so the best way we can help people with this disease it to give them as much control as possible. Do not feel guilty or embarressed about it EVER.....this 'is a disease' and we will help you with that the best way we can." Right then and there something clicked and I cried and understood my life long battle then and there. I am trying not to beat myself up about my weight gain and rather focus on the success to come with lots of hard work and determination I know I will get there and they will help me through every step of the way. Just to let you know he is not getting any money from me for this at all. When I got the lapband, they guaranteed in writing that they would help me lose weight and that any other surgery, if ever needed, even years down the track is free. What I paid for the fist surgery is all I will ever have to pay with them and they will work with me and do whatever it takes to help me get to a healthy weight. They are committed to helping people with this Disease that is Obesity. Gamblers can never gamble again, Alcoholics can never drink again but Obese people have to eat to survive...... and then we have some of the hardest obstacles to overcome

s I am 4 years banded. I am down 102 lbs. I started at over 385, lost 20 before surgery and now weigh 283. My goal is somewhere below 240. My BMI now is only obese, not morbid obese. After surgery I went from 365 to 290 then back to 353. This year, I committed to following the rules and lost 70 lbs. My secret, eat real food. I usually start my day with unjury Protein shake with a banana in it and chocolate Silk soy milk. lunch is usually what my wife makes. Salads, meat and cheese, sometimes leftovers. We do Water Zumba at the gym. dinner is meat, vegetables, salad, sometimes potatoes or bread. All made from the outside aisles of the grocery store. Way off the carbs. Way off the sweets. When we eat out (we travel a lot) we ALWAYS split everything. Never order 2 Entrees. Little soda, never diet soda. Alcohol is allowed. This is how normal people live. I now feel normal. I spent the last 6 weeks in Hawaii, Atlanta and Florida and most days in swimsuits. This is how normal people live. Really, while I still want to loose 40 or so pounds, I feel normal. It has taken 56 years, but I am Happy! Hi, congrats on 4 years banded, I just had my 4 year bndiversary on 10/30. I, also, lost my 100 lbs. You have done great. I have gotten off track for a while, but am getting back on!

Cross addiction is a real danger for rny folks, and it sounds like it's really bothering you. I applaud your honesty. Maybe you should seek counseling, hon. Drinking will definitely contribute to depression, which leads to more drinking, etc. are you post op? Besides possible alcoholism, drinking can really be hard on your pouch, and it's full of empty calories. Message me if yiu wish, I'd love to talk.

I like Atkins bars. No sugar and high in protein. Very low in sugar alcohols. Right now I am eating 1 Atkins Chocolate Oatmeal Fiber bar every day. It has 10 grams of Fiber, 6 grams of protein. Most Atkins bars have 10-15 grams of protein, but right now I need the fiber.

I use the pure protein bars, and like the peanut butter one the most. Chocolate after that. I don't really care for the others. They hardly have ANY sugar alcohols: 200 calories, 6 sugar alcohols, 20 grams of protein. I've looked at EVERY other bar in EVERY other store I frequent, and I can't find ones as good as these.

Among the huge list of foods I hope taste nasty after surgery, chocolate is close to the top. I also hope cheese, mashed potatoes, wine, any kind of alcohol, sour cream, cream cheese, ice cream, soda, chips, Oreos and snack cakes find themselves on my "Foods You Couldn't Pay Me To Eat" list.

i was told to not use quest bars that much because of the sugar alcohols. so my NUT suggested pure protein bars. i like the vanilla chocolate baked one, it's like a candy bar! also their peanut butter chocolate one is really good.

It's most definitely more complicated than an us and them conversation, because many of us, at some point on our journey, are on either side of that line. I do not know a single vet that hasn't slipped, ever. It's impossible to separate out "good vs. bad" when you're talking about food, something we all ingest daily. I think there's a boundary here and that things that AREN'T enabling are being lumped in because to some people, it's a temptation. That's a personal issue. Someone gleefully posting that they ate a pizza, followed it up with ice cream and then washed it down with a soda - and then getting virtual pats on the back and likes for their post? That's enabling. That's also disgusting, quite frankly. But there's a line. Because confessing that you ate something off and someone replying "It's not that bad, it's not the end of the world." I'm seeing people group THAT in as enabling, when more likely, that's a person trying to be positive and supportive. Because there are still people here (loads of them) that think support is ONLY positive and saying anything even remotely critical is being mean and unhelpful. Hey, guess what? It may bother some people, but I still like food. I still love to bake. I'm sorry if the fact that I cooked something today that wasn't a green smoothie or grilled chicken breast makes someone want to go off the rails on a food orgy. The planning of menus and the preparing of food for my family or entertaining is a large part of my life. And yes, it balances in with my surgery. But I'm expected to keep any and all talk about that to myself, for fear of someone taking a nose dive into the candy bar aisle? That's the part I disagree with. Above all else, this site should be supportive. It should also be respectful. That means respecting that we're all individuals on individual journeys. Hey, let me tell you, some of these threads make me incredibly upset. Nobody should be saying it's okay to break surgeon guidelines or binge eat! I don't care what your friend or nutritionist or doctor told you. It's not okay behavior. But that's MY opinion. Because if someone wants to fail at this? That's not my issue. Oh, it'll make me upset and maybe angry and definitely frustrated with people. I might even rant about people not being educated before a major operation. If you want to eat a damned cheeseburger while you're healing, I'm sorry for you and I'm sorry for your family. Because food is probably going to kill you if you can't get your act together. Again, I like that you started this thread, Laura, but I still feel there is a huge amount of personal responsibility that comes into play. We're all behind computer screens. Nobody is holding anyone else's hand and leading them to the cookie jar. If you cannot get a grasp on YOUR OWN (and this is not directed at anyone specific) disordered eating, wake up! Because NOBODY, NOBODY is going to change your life but YOU. Food is part of life. We cannot avoid it. Birthdays? Cake? Parties? Alcohol? These things are not going away because we opted to have surgery. Expecting nobody to post about how to incorporate these things into their lives (in a healthy way, hopefully!) is unfair. It's akin to expecting your non-sleeved husband to stick to a liquid diet with you because you chose to have surgery, or being angry that he can eat more than 500 calories a day when you can't. The world doesn't revolve around us! I wish there were a way to separate it out. Overwhelmingly, I see people asking advice here about food and taking it from strangers on the internet. Really? Do you REALLY think it's okay to eat cake during healing just because someone, somewhere says that their surgeon said it was okay to have "just a little?" (That's enabling.) And why on earth do you really have to ask?! You know darn well cake isn't okay while you're healing! Post to lament the fact that you're missing out, post to ask what you can do instead, post a positive on what you'll do instead, but for goodness' sake, don't ask us to tell you it's okay when you know it's not. Invariably, there will be ONE person out there saying, "Oh yeah, sure, go ahead!" The addict is looking for that one person. They'll skip the 22 "WTH are you thinking?" posts to go with the 1 that tells them what they want to hear. The person seeking support is looking to be told it'll be okay, so the 22 "WTH" and "It'll be okay" posts are encouraging and keep them on the right track. But you can't guess who's going to read it and what their intent beforehand is, so jumping in and saying those posts aren't okay at all isn't fair to the people that want a more moderate approach. The biggest solution would have people educated prior to surgery, so they're not looking for validation and approval for their poor choices on the internet. I can do moderation (usually...) despite having food addict behaviors. I will never overcome my addiction. I choose moderation, because deprivation makes me angry and resentful. I weigh daily and do not allow myself to fall off the wagon (at least not for long...) and I make the right choices more than 90% of the time. You know what? Three years out and there are stressful and "hungry" days when every single fast food sign I pass pulls on me and tempts me. I know darn well that McDonald's food tastes like crap but those golden arches still make me want their crappy food sometimes. It's up to ME to resist. It boils down to personal responsibility. Posts make me angry. They make me sad. They bother me because people give stupid advice. How I choose to react is entirely up to me. The same goes for food. If we're going to blame food discussions for making us eat, let's lump in television, too. Because late night food commercials? They get me every time. Laura reacted well. She chose to start a safe thread discussing what bothers her. It's some of the talk here that it's all enabling, or the idea that we all have to police one another that I find objectionable. Support, yes. Hard truth when needed, yes. Blunt truth when needed, yes. Policing or shutting down threads I don't agree with? No. ~Cheri

Hey sorry was off here for a few days...I am doing pretty good...yesterday (day 5) was my first day to get 80g protein and 8 cups of fluid. I feel full all day long and feel like I am living to drink (like an alcoholic haha) How are things going for you?? I have one more week of clear liquids but I found a concoction of a new choc protein powder w/30 g and PB2 peanut butter so I get 35g in one cup of protein shake so I can just do crystal light and water the rest of the day with 1/2 cup of jello w/protein. I am exercising now 20 mins a day I hope to do 30 today.

Yes, food and alcohol. Alcohol not a problem in terms of overt drunkeness, but certainly contributed to my weight problems. I am in the process of interviewing some therapists right now. I realize that this was the missing piece of the puzzle during my medically supervised weight loss 3-4 years ago.

Don't worry Cheri, I have always enjoyed your posts over the years and I understand why you haven't been as active lately as I see your bundle of joy in your avatar. But I think you diminish the power addiction has over some people. It isn't as simple as making a choice. It is difficult to explain to someone who may not truly know addiction (speaking to the general audience, not just you, Cheri). It is like trying to explain green to a blind person. If you were to look back to when I first went into rehab ... look back at all the events that led to it, you would wonder how any sane person could do these things to themselves. But that is the key word there ... sane. At first, when I abused alcohol, it was fun. Then it became a job ... then it became my tormentor. I no longer drank for enjoyment, I no longer drank to escape or blackout. I had completely lost the power of choice. I remember many times driving home from work (45 minutes) saying to myself that I was not going to stop at the bar, but then remembering this promise at midnight ... at the bar ... wondering how I even got there. Addiction is a cunning, powerful baffling foe for some. Again, we all know our own experiences and we see through those glasses. Addiction may have more facets than you realize.

Everyone is different post op. I followed my guidelines and didn't have alcohol till after 6 months. At goal, I enjoy a couple of drinks per week on average. Sometimes I have more, like while we were on vacation, and sometimes I have less. Even at 2.5 years post op, I no longer care for margaritas or drinks with a lot of mixer. I drink flavored Martinis, shots, liqueurs, wine, or port. I occasionally have a soda. Probably less than one per month. Lynda

I truly enjoy and value your posts PdxMan, and I have for years. You're right, this is one place we simply don't agree. To my mind, barring a mental issue that requires medication for "normalcy" there isn't a reason people can't change. The alcoholic that quits has the same options as the one that relapses and never succeeds at sobriety. It's a matter of will, a matter of support, and a matter of determination. On that note, though - I do concede that while this thread is helpful for others that aren't engaging in destructive behavior often, that viewing it in light of "support for all" does diminish the value and positive intention of the thread if you consider people might view it as a learning tool. But, oh, part of me still thinks they'd be leading themselves right off the path, anyway to do that! I'm the one that took a year to research surgery after making my decision to have surgery. I don't have a large amount of sympathy for someone who'd do this with no education and then look to a thread specifically about poor choices for support and/or rules! My views on personal accountability stem from my past and due to my experiences I'm likely more rigid than most about this. I come from a family of addicts and abusers of all varieties. I also have a drug addicted stepdaughter. She can quit. She could quit. People around her have quit and stayed sober. She has chosen to cope with drugs, much the way people here cope with food. She hasn't hit a point where being sober means more to her than being high. If she never hits that point, my husband and I may bury another child. It saddens me and sickens me, but I don't blame the people she associates with or their influence. It's her choice every time she uses drugs. It was her choice to be with people where it was possible even if she didn't leave the house with that intent. Is it hard to say no? YES. Is it impossible? NO. People do it. If we start down the slope of saying people aren't responsible for their actions and their choices it's a long and slippery ride to the bottom. I sat in court with the man that murdered my infant daughter while he and his lawyers (as well as his parents and a smattering of acquaintances) tried to convince a judge that shaking her to death wasn't his fault due to his traumatic childhood. That's utter crap. I make a choice every day not to be the person that I was taught to be by my childhood and my experiences. If I eat a brownie, it's because I wanted a brownie. It's because I caved or because I justified that choice or because I opted to ignore the repercussions. And yes, sometimes it's hard. And when it's hard, I sure as hell don't wander over to the "confess all your sins" thread for support! So your point about an AA meeting being a safe place is very valid. There's a big label on this thread that says what it is, and nobody with a monkey on their back should be opening the door and inviting in the trouble. That said, yes, I agree with you about some of the posts. I wish the tone of some of these posts were different. Nobody should be gleeful about sabotaging their success with a massive binge or eating ahead of their surgical guidelines. But again...people will do what they want and were already doing it. This thread is just putting it out in the open, for better or worse. I hope that neither Fiddle or PdxMan are upset on a personal level. We all disagree and we all feel we're right or we wouldn't take the time to post or share our opinions! ~Cheri

First, I plan to get through whatever time period my surgeon has set forward. I know they don't prohibit it completely, but it's at least 6 months and maybe a year. Then I plan to only have one drink in any situation for two reasons. It's been documented that our sleeve stomachs absorb alcohol really quickly and affect us differently after surgery. That alone should give any of us pause. (There are documented cases of people getting DUIs after having one drink.) The second is that as a woman in my 40s, with my friends one of our favorite things to do is kick back and have a couple of cocktails. I'm not saying I'll never have another drink but I do think that this social activity, for me anyway, needs to be completely reframed. Hey, I was just sleeved. But I'm looking at this from the standpoint of years of slippery slope behavior that got me to the point that I wanted/needed to be sleeved. I don't want to throw that away by not being very careful how I proceed.

I am two weeks post op and I am now starting to drink normally. I did have issues the first week +, but now it has pretty much evened out. ( No huge gulps though) I cannot drink alcohol. Not only because of the sleeve ( absorption issues & empty calories) but because I am blood thinners. Never a big drinker, I did enjoy it once in a while. But since earlier this year that has been cut from my life. Pre op I gave up soda because I knew post op they say no carbonation. I thought it would be harder than it really was. I have had one soda since August. Took a sip or two and thought "yuck". Now, if I had to give up ice tea I would be in trouble. (non sweetened) I also do not have a lot of caffeine. It messes with vitamin absorption so no-no. So far none of it has really bothered me nor have I missed it.

I agree with Art. I am 2 weeks out and I have no trouble drinking fluids. I can drink just about the same as pre-surgery. Even after a few days it was pretty easy for me. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. As far as alcohol, I am not planning on consuming alcohol. I was never a big drinker anyway so this might be easier for me than others. I am planning on finding new things that give me comfort and happiness. With my imporved health and new figure, I am sure I can think of a lot of fun things to do that do not including drinking empty calories. Bonnie.

I can drink normally (physically). And have been able to drink normally since the 3rd month. In terms of WHAT I drink, my plan says no alcohol for 6 months and no carbonation ever. At 5 months I am happy with crystal light and the squirt flavorings. I may have a glass of wine at Thanksgiving, but... "all the things that gave me a lil comfort and happiness I wont be able to do" I am working hard to make my family and friends to focus of social times, not food and drink. Unless I plan it, I don't do it. But then I am a junkie.

Drinking contributes to depression so you are making a bad situation much worse. It is called transfer addiction, trading one addiction (food) for another (alcohol) and adding ulcers to the mix. This has to stop! Please, get professional help now before you cause serious injury to your body! Be kind to yourself--you deserve much better than this.

I have 18 years alcohol free. I am gonna have to watch myself close because I know that a lot of people who have gastric bypass will become heavy drinkers. You are one the right path! Congrats on being sober for a year!!!!

Hi, I am eight years post-op. I went looking for this site last year when I was at a pretty low point in my life. I had my surgery, I had lost weight, I was successful in my career and I was wallowing in alcohol abuse. I was at a point where I was pretty much drunk all the time. I want to warn everyone..I know you (or maybe some of you) want to feel "normal". I wanted to not be the lady who had had the surgery, I wanted to be like everyone else. I went to parties, ate what I wanted (after all, I couldn't eat much) and also, drank what I wanted. The weight started to go back on. I told myself that I would lose it tomorrow. Tomorrow never came. I put on half of the weight I had lost before I sobered up enough to realize how self destructive I had been. I called and made an appointment at a new surgery center with a new doctor. My previous doctor had never been supportive, the company had closed and changed hands etc...etc....etc. My new center sent me to a new PA (who is fabulous..by the way!) and she sent me to de-tox. I have been sober for a year and three months...something new to count. I have been losing the weight I had gained-slowly but steadily. I want to tell everyone...alcohol is something to really avoid. You may think you can handle it but, with the surgery, there is no way. I know that there is no one to blame but myself, no one made me take that first drink. Maybe I would have experienced this anyway, I don't know. What I DO know is that...there is no "normal". I will always have to follow the rules and that is the only path to success. My hope is that someone will read this and NOT take that first (or next) drink. You don't need to be numb and you can get help if you have gone down that path. Thank you for giving me the forum to put this out there, Deena

I don't care if it IS the "easy way." As someone who also does the AA program due to a drinking problem, if there was an equivalent of VSG for alcoholism, I'd take that "easy way" in a matter of seconds, too. Probably even faster, because I would LOVE some kind of surgery or something that just magically made my alcohol cravings go away. The easier, the better. There are multiple solutions to obesity, and this is one of those solutions. The way I see it, if there's a different solution that's better for someone else, that's fine too. But this was the best solution for me. And I also wear glasses to drive and for distance viewing. I could also have surgery, or I could wear contacts, but the solution I went with was glasses. So I chose one of the medical solutions to help me see clearly, because I've found sight to be valuable.