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I want to thank everyone for all the kind words. It brighten my day to know I was not alone in feeling this. I am so close and the emotions are getting the best of me. I still wish I had a live person but to all that offered to speak to me in private thanks you. And I have tryed to find some one in the group but they are really not open to having discussions out side the group. I know that I will be fine it does not change the fact that I am driving blindly in this journey. I will do well and gain the self esteem to unclose myself. I will have the energy to volunteer for the extra activties my grandkids are in, as I did for my kids. (raising grandkids) Soccer, baseball, ballet, swimming. I will network and make some friends.

While this doesn't answer your question specifically, years ago I went to a therapist as I wanted to dig deep into the "whys" of my obesity. But she herself was around 300 lbs and I didn't want to "hurt" her feelings by talking about my own weight issues. (It was presumtuous of me to assume she had issues with her obesity, obviously.) So I left that therapist and sought someone who, at least visually, I felt to be a better match for what I was seeking in a therapist. That said, I would never be able to work with a therapist on weight issues who was overweight him/herself. For me, a therapist needs to be a role model (even if it is just a visual role model). This is probably the rationale behind Weight Watchers and why they only hire former WW members who are successful maintainer, and why in 12-step programs, sponsors need to have some successful track record to sponsor another member.

My therapist has been great as I've navigated dealing with clinical depression. She has helped me learn coping skills for my anger and boundary issues. She doesn't specialize in pain issues but I really feel like she helps me. But, she's not into weight loss and obesity issues at all--as a matter of fact, she struggles with her weight more than I do. She's been supportive as I've made my surgery decision but I don't think we've addressed WHY I overeat or HOW I can deal with that very well. I know the sleeve is only going to be a tool and I really think I need to look for another therapist who does work with obesity and weight loss. Has anyone else out there changed therapists because of surgery? Were you happy you did? (BTW, she's been my therapist for almost 5 years now). Georgia

congratulations! I am having my surgery TOMMORROW MORNING ,DEC 13th ! , CANT WAIT !!HAVE TO BE THERE 5;45 AM! dr neal is also my dr, and lucky for me he didnt put me on a diet for 2 weeks beforehand, he just told me not to gain any weight, and lose a few lbs if possible. i lost 5 in 2 weeks. today was pre-op, easy and quick. i will let everyone know how it goes tommorrow. congrats and best of luck to you!

Hi All, I had my appointment this morning and it couldn't have gone any better. Surgeon basically told me if he had it his way we would set a surgery date today. Only thing holding things up is the mandatory 6 month monitored diet. He is very impressed with my progress and current weight loss. He told me I was very healthy for 460 pounds and that he is anxious to help me on my way to a healthy BMI. Bonus...I stepped on the scale and down another 2lbs. I am shooting for 400 by surgery date. thank you all for the encouragement and support!!!

I hv aetna amd there was a 90 day waiing period requirement. the insurance co wants to make sure that you are serious about surgery. During this time it was required that i meet with the nutritionist and nurse practioner monthly to discuss diet and excercise regimen. Its not required to lose any weight, but if u actually stick to their program you will and besides its getting you ready for surgery and how you will then be forced cold turkey to eat right, so why not transition early on. I lost 20lbs during this stage and another 13lbs on my two week liquid diet required by my surgeon b4 surgery

psych- he asked me nice questions about my life ,eating habits, family history, weight goals, things i wanted to accomplish but couldnt because of the weight, past weight loss attemps etc............nutritionist-pretty much the same thing. both were very easy to talk to. theyre just trying to make sure youre mentally stable enough and have realistic expections for weight loss. good luck!

I have my exercise physiological assessment tomorrow. I'm excited. I work out all the time (despite being over weight, cause i like to eat) so I think I'll pass with flying colors. My psych evaluation is Monday. Thx Pink Dahlia for the info!

I work in a very public place and I knew I would get a lot of questions about my weight loss. I had my answers ready: I'm in a medically supervised weight loss program; I have made permanent changes to the way I eat; I've gone Paleo etc. Now that I'm getting these questions four or five times a day I am amazed at how invasive they feel. This whole journey has been so personal its about getting my life back. It's about reclaiming who I was before all the trauma happened in my life and I turned to food as my only comfort. People who don't know anything about me want to go on and on about my weight. They think they are being nice for noticing and that congratulating me profusely might help me. To me it feels the same as if someone I don't know walks up to me and says "Hey, how was your last pap smear?" in front of a bunch of people. There is that second of shock and then I give a quick answer and try to change the subject but they keep coming back. I find myself shooting irritated looks at people when they won't shut up but that just makes them start talking about how they were just trying to be nice and how they wanted to let me know that I was doing a good job .....and so the conversation continues. Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it except change jobs which I plan to do in a few months. It's just that I want the right to be selfish about something. I have suffered so many invasions in my life from people who thought they had the right to invade. So this thing is really pushing my buttons.

Dieting and weight loss slow metabolism, that is why diet and exercise for long term weight loss only works for 5% of people. Your metabolism probably has taken a hit over the years as you have tried dieting. For detailed info Google "Biggest Loser Study". The study was published in 2016 and the results have been repeated in other studies. Subsequent studies found that while diet and exercise PERMANENTLY lowers your metabolism, gastric bypass does NOT. One year after gastric bypass the body's metabolism is back to normal. Sleeve works too, but the biggest research trials have been with bypass patients. You may find that surgery will reset your metabolism completely.

I have similar feelings unless it's someone I'm very close with. I think for me, it's because I've grown comfortable with being invisible and having people notice my weight loss and want to talk about me makes me feel a little vulnerable. If so, it's my issue and not other people's. I mean, I'm as guilty as the next person for gushing over how great someone looks and my intentions are good. It still makes me uncomfortable but I keep my stock answers handy and just keep repeating them. Hang in there. :-)

I went for my pre op appointment today. This has been a long process and I'm so happy to finally be closer to my surgery. I was nervous because at my first visit he told me I need to lose weight before I have my pre op appointment and I didnt think I lose any. I did lose 7 pounds. My surgery date is September 8th. Anyone else have surgery September 8th?

I am in the pre phase, but trying to improve habits, and heck maybe even lose some weight! I have been tracking my food and notice that I do pretty good during the day - high Protein, wholesome foods, lots of fruits and veggies. After dinner, I seem to go to heck. I try not having junk in the house, but I seem to be constantly wanting to eat. If we don't have dessert, I will have a bowl of Cereal. It is just a very strong desire to eat starting about 2 hours after dinner. About 5 years ago I lost 85 pounds on WEight Watchers and I had to break myself of the habit of eating in the middle of the night. Seriously, I would wake up in the middle of the night really hungry and not be able to get back to sleep. I had to really force myself to just STOP and that habit has not returned. (I believe now that i was waking due to undiagnosed sleep apnea). So, i would love to hear some tricks and tips from people who have successfully beaten the "eating after dinner" challenge.

lob1999, I suggest that you do your research by reading the forums both here and at the Lap Band message boards (there are several). There are also TONS of bloggers who've had the lap band and post about their experiences. I have about 100 of them bookmarked and checked them daily while I was researching. MY conclusion was that the lap banders had a really high incidence of slippage, erosion and general failure to lose the weight they wanted to lose, whereas those who had VSG seemed to lose a significantly higher percentage of their weight. I had one shot (self-pay) and wanted to make sure I got what I wanted out of the surgery, especially since I was doing it more for health than vanity, like most people. IMO, there are a lot of people who have had band to sleeve revisions because of complications. I just didn't want to do two surgeries and I really didn't want to have to be constantly going to the doctor for a "fill" or an "unfill". I was sleeved on Aug 30 and I'm (so far) content with my decision. Disclaimer: I had several co-morbidities and a death sentence hanging over my head: "Lose weight or you'll be dead in a year." Seeking Health, I STRONGLY suggest you talk to your surgeon and/or your PCP. Your experience sounds atypical of anyone I have met or seen who has had VSG. I cannot imagine the hell you go through with your GI difficulties. It sounds like something is really wrong and you most assuredly need some kind of intervention. I can't imagine living with the side effects you are experiencing. Please post again once you've seen your doctor and let us know that they were able to help you. You're in my prayers. The only person I've heard of who has problems is the sister in law of a friend, but hers are self-inflicted because she is not compliant with either drinking Water or ensuring that she gets enough Protein daily. That lady is in the hospital regularly with malnutrition and dehydration issues. She's a great motivator for me to keep plugging away at the liquids and protein on a daily basis. Every time I see her, I note her pallor and she looks bad, almost emaciated.

Hey I'm around your age (26 tomorrow) and I went through the same tough decision on which surgery to have. I was emailing back and forth with a woman I met who is having RNY but in the same program as me at my hospital. This is a copy and paste of one of the emails I sent her. (I know some of it may not make sense, but you get the idea). I hope this helps! Copy and pasted email... I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you in a few days. The cord on my laptop was frayed and sparking a little, so now I'm using my cousin's computer while I wait for a new cord. Anyway, it was so nice to hear from you! I'm sorry to hear about the gallstones they found-- but I think it's good that they can take it out during surgery. Gallstones can develop more easily in people who lose rapid amounts of weight, so you won't have to deal with that . I'm actually planning on getting the lap band, not RNY. I went back and forth on my decision so much. There are definitley pros and cons to both. I liked the idea in RNY that you can lose a lot of weight pretty quickly and since I'm so impatient, I was thinking that that might be nice. I also kind of liked the idea of dumping syndrome because it would keep me in check, but then I thought about that say in the future if I want to have a cupcake at a birthday party on a rare occasion or something like that, I don't want to be sick from it. Another thing I considered is you have to be very careful about consuming alcohol after RNY and the chance is higher of developing alcoholism. Not that I think I would become an alcoholic or anything, but I don't know if I really want to be smashed if I have one drink. Now the malabsorptive thing was back and forth for me, too. I think it's cool that you can eat things and not absorb all the calories, but then again it scares me a little not to be getting all the nutrients I need. I know in both surgeries you have to take Vitamins, but in RNY there are more, and it's a little more vital to be on top of it. Plus, like you, I want to have kids some day. I'm only 25 (26 next month) and I'm single but it's something I need to be thinking about, too. I googled 'gastric bypass and pregnancy' and was trying to read up a little bit on it and sometimes it can be hard to get all the nutrients to the baby. I'm not trying to sway your decision at all-- I just want to share what my thought process was coming to my decision. I also liked that in RNY, that your hunger hormones are changed a bit and you may not even feel hungry a lot of the time. But then again, a lot of what I eat is not because I'm actually hungry-- it's because I'm bored and it looks good and tastes good. So I think that that's more of a behavior I need to change rather than the whole hunger hormone thing. It's funny that you mentioned about the social worker suggesting therapy, because she said the same thing to me. But she also said she's supposed to basically say it to everyone, so I'm not too worried about it, lol. Ultimately after going back and forth I decided on the lap band. A lot of people say they like it because it's reversible, but that actually doesn't play into it for me. I hopefully will never have to have it reversed. I do like the fact that it's very adjustable, though. If you feel hungry and not satisfied a lot, then you can go get a fill and have more restriction. With RNY, you don't have that adjustability. Part of that lack of adjustability and control with RNY scared me because you hear about people who have lost a certain amount of weight and then gain some back and they can't adjust what they're taking in. I know everyone is different, but I like the fact that I can just get a fill if I need to to get me back on track. And I know that with lap band it takes longer to lose weight, but I've been overweight my entire life and I can wait a little longer. Also, since everyone is different, I'm hoping if I exercise most days and eat right that I can really do it faster than the statistics. Twice in my life I've lost close to 90 lbs (which I gained back both times), so I know what it takes to actually take the weight off. And I think with a lap band it will give me the extra push i need to lose even more weight and keep it off. Another small factor for me is the recovery time. I say "small factor" because it the long run, what does the recovery time really matter in exchange for your health back? But I do like that lap band has a quicker recovery time and is a safer surgery with less risk of death and complications. Another factor, like you mentioned, is the hair as well-- people with RNY are more prone to lose their hair than from lap band. My hair is very fine too, so I was kind of scared of that. But either way, they say it's only temporary, so you can wear head scarves or hats or something until it passes, if it even happens (everyone is different). Also what helped me in coming to my decision was seeing what other people say about lap band and looking at success stories and all that. I don't know if you know about it, but there is a site called lapbandtalk.com which is pretty cool and lots of topics. Another thing I looked at was youtube. There are some people on there who update once a week or more about their surgeries. I've really only watched the lap band ones, but there are people who do the same after RNY if you're interested. Some of the lap band people I like if you want to check them out are Newtoy4kt-- she started at 308 lbs and it's been like 66 weeks so far post-op for her and she's down to around 180 I think. Also there is BandedWendy who's been at her goal weight for a while now, and there's Thebandinme who gives some good info as well. It's kind of cool to see their first few video posts and then see their recent ones to really see how much they've changed and how far they've come. But like I said, if you want to watch RNY patients they have them on there too, just gotta search a little. It's funny what you said about Dr. H trying to sell you on the band. I didn't get that feeling so much, but I do remember leaving there and knowing for sure that I wanted lap band, after being undecided. Part of it too, if you have lap band-- you can always have RNY afterward if the band isn't working for you. But you can't have the band after having RNY (I don't think). Ultimately, I think you just need to go with what you're most comfortable with. And I'm really not trying to sway your decision at all-- just wanted to give you my thought process on the whole thing.

Hi, It sounds like you had excellent care and I am so happy for you. All I could compare is what I found out about my own city. Thanks for letting me know. I wish you great success in your weight loss journey. Hugs, Suzanne

I finished up my medically supervised 6 month diet. I thought it would be long and painful but it really went pretty quick. Fo those still in the process hang in there. Don't obsess about losing weight or not losing weight. I went up and down and finished down 8 lbs. At first I struggled because I was worried about losing too much and not getting approved. I have dieted or watched what I ate my entire adult life so being afraid to lose weight was a first for me. I quit worrying about month 3 and started to lose a little then without really trying. I haven't been tempted to do a food funeral. I am so sick of feeling uncomfortable that I have actually been eating less at meal times just to get away from feeling like I am going to explode all the time. I am really looking forward to having less hormonal influence in craving foods. That and the speedy weight loss is why I chose the sleeve. Paperwork was submitted to insurance last Thursday, May 12th. They said Cigna takes 30 business days to approve. I see several people were approved sooner so I am hopeful that I am one of those people. I am mentally and physically ready to have the surgery. I have had several rather invasive surgeries before so this does not scare me in the slightest. I just want to get started on my journey to the new me. ;o)

I posted some links that I"ve had bookmarked for awhile on how to get approval. BUT, if you do not meet the requirements, you will have an uphill battle. My highest recommendation is to get a letter of support from your PCP/PCM that has managed your care for that time, get a new surgeon because it's denied after your initial appeal, you will need a peer to peer review, and if your surgeon is NOT willing to do that for you, then I personally would not allow him to cut on me, and get paid for it. Here is a sample of a support letter for you PCP/PCM. To Whom It May Concern: This Letter is a formal request for approval for Bariatric Sleeve Gastrectomy, for my patient _____________D.O.B______. __________ is Xfeet and X inches tall and weighs XXXpounds. Her body mass index (BMI) isXX. She has been diagnosed with morbid obesity (CPT code: 278.01), since ____. She is having significant adverse symptoms as a result of her obesity. She is having difficulty standing and exercising due to the significant impact of the excess weight on her body. She has difficulty performing any daily activities and in participating with her friends and family in recreational activities. She has been diagnosed with ____________________. The effects of these conditions are severe, and can be life threatening. Co-morbidities have proven to be expensive to treat and sometimes incurable. Research has shown that weight loss is not only cost effective for the insurers, but for the patients as well. _________________ has made numerous weight loss attempts, including: South Beach Diet Weight Watchers Curves Transformations medical weight loss Michael Thurmond Certified nutritionist consultations Based on ____________�s medical history, it is highly recommended she undergo bariatric surgery. In my professional opinion, it is the only way to improve her health conditions and significantly improve her lifestyle. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact our office. Sincerely, MD

I have Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO and I had to not only provide 6 months of weight loss but it had to be with a PCP!! Good luck you can do it I thought it would never end and now I am 12 days from surgery =)

Hi Dulci, My dr also told me to change the way I take my levothyroxine. I have to take it by itself as well and then wait an hour to eat. Sure hope it is working because I am very anxious to get this surgery done. Did you lose any weight with the increased dose of meds? Lynn

I did about 6 years ago and my docter said it would not be a problem for me either...The funny thing is I kind a feel like a stuffed sausage with all this weight on me..At least I don't have that hangy skin on my belly anymore, very tight!!!

Even though you called it a 2 sided sword. It does have exactly those 2 points to prove to the Surgeon, and yourself. 1. The Surgeon sees a lot of people, and a lot of people say I can't focus. So he works with you, but has expectations too, and he will want to see if you can keep up to your end of the deal buy losing weight pre-op. 2. So now that you know what he expects ! It gives you a chance to get it together. So when you have the surgery, you will know what to do, like Protein shakes. If your hungry, but can't eat mushie stuff yet. So it's a teaching class also.

I'm getting banded on Friday and I am excited. This year, I won't gain 10 lbs during the holidays. With a little help from my band, I will finally lose the weight and KEEP IT OFF.

I had the last weigh-in of my 3 month multi-discipline weight loss program. Didn't really lose more than a few pounds, imagine that! If I could lose weight by just dieting, I'd have done it already! I talked to the insurance coordinator and she has a stack of files above me to do, but she should get to my file next week and apply for approval. Then a week or two later I should be approved (fingers crossed!). I'm hoping for a surgery date at the beginning of July, so here's hoping everything goes smoothly! The time did go by faster than expected. It didn't seem like it would when I was just starting and wanted me surgery like YESTERDAY, but it worked out in the end. I'll keep everyone here posted!

Hopefully it wont even be an issue for you!! My first answer from United Healthcare was a big ol' no. I had submitted everything they requested but once it was all in they said that they have an unwritten requirement (was not in my print out of requirements and was never told to me in any of the 5,000 calls I must've made to them) the 5 year weight history. I submitted the extra info and was then told that they had closed my file and couldn't just re-open it. I immediatly called my dr in tears and he said he'd do a peer to peer review. Basically, it's him talking to someone on their end...sort of selling my case. I'm not sure what he said but it did do the trick. Like I said, hopefully you wont need to go any further with your case but if you have to, having the dr call himself seemed to really help! Good Luck to you!! Kristin