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After your surgery and on your way to a thinner and healthier life, did any of you use an app to help you keep on track to reach your goals? Which apps did you use? There are a lot of choices and many of them seem similar.

The pre-op diet allowed 4 protein shakes a day..... but now I am only allowed 3 maximum??? 140 x 3 = 440 calories... Why is it necessary to go that low? Won’t that damage my metabolism?? I asked the nurse about it; all she said was, “they want you to lose weight.”. Seems like 800 calories would still cause weight loss. Can anyone explain this to me?

My stepfather tried to bribe me to lose weight with a whole new wardrobe when I was 14. He constantly judges women’s value on their body and whether or not they are married. I’ve told my mother that I do not want comments from him on my weight loss. He’s stuck to it.

I think my parents did a lot of damage to my relationship with food and eating when I was a kid. I know they didn't mean to. They meant well -- they just wanted the best for me, and they knew that being fat would be a hard life, so they tried to stop me from being fat, but unfortunately, most of what they did was totally counterproductive. I remember my mom always being unhappy with her body, but looking back, I don't think she was as fat as she thought she was. She was probably overweight, but not obese (but of course her weight fluctuated as she yo-yo dieted). I remember once when I was very young, we were on vacation and my mom had a meltdown because she ordered curly fries and they gave her regular fries and she didn't want to waste her calories on regular fries. That was probably my first awareness of dieting. When I got older (junior high), my parents made me participate in whatever fad diet they were doing at the time. I was always chubby, but I have brothers who were skin and bones and couldn't gain weight if they tried. And they did try. My mom bought them all kinds of cookies, crackers, candy, soda, etc., but she didn't want me to have any, so she had them hide their snacks in their rooms. I think this is one of the biggest things leading to my food issues because it made me feel so deprived. It felt so unfair that my brothers were being rewarded and I was being punished, basically for no reason other than my natural body type. So every chance I got, I snuck food. I spent all of my allowance money on candy and junk food. I hid food in my room because I wasn't allowed to eat it openly. It blew my mind when I went to friends' houses and they just had chips and cookies in the kitchen that they were allowed to eat in front of their parents. When I was old enough to babysit, I always looked for junk food to eat after the kids were in bed. I'm so embarrassed now to think about what the parents must have thought of me pigging out on their junk food! I got into a vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting, losing a little weight but gaining it all back and more, my parents trying to control my eating more and me feeling more deprived and sneaking more food (which got easier as I got older). My parents made me go to counseling and dietitians, and for a while, my mom weighed me every other day and tracked my weight in a notebook. It made me feel like my entire worth as a human being was based on my weight, and I could never be good enough. Ironically, when I first looked into weight loss surgery, my mom talked me out of it. She cried because it was so dangerous and she was afraid I would die on the table. That's a big part of why I haven't told anyone in my life -- not even my parents -- that I did it. It was my decision that I made for myself and my own health. Not to finally win my parents' approval. My parents were actually the first to notice my weight loss (actually before surgery -- I lost about 70 pounds before surgery) just by seeing my face on a family Zoom call, And the first time they saw me in person after surgery, of course the FIRST THING out of my mom's mouth was how good I looked. Now, my parents had given up on trying to get me to lose weight by the time I was in my 30s, so my weight had ceased to be a topic of regular discussion, but it kind of hurt to see that they are still so hung up on my weight that they got so excited to see that I lost weight. Even though they stopped talking about it, it's obviously still important to them and to what they think about me.

I’ve really been thinking about this recently. I love my parents and I think they did they best job they knew how to, and in many ways they gave my siblings and I an amazing upbringing. But there was always an undercurrent of weight shaming from my dad toward my sister and I. He has always brought up how we need to lose weight, and how concerned he is for our health. I’ve always been a bit resentful because growing up there was kind of a free for all on food- many nights we were left to figure out meals for ourselves. There was always plenty of food, but I didn’t know how to cook so I would eat graham crackers and saltines with a can of coke. But still there were endless comments about our weight. I frequently rebelled- I didn’t care about losing weight, I cut my hair short because my dad had forbidden us to get haircuts because girls should have long hair, I made sure to get a B so I wasn’t a valedictorian, etc. I lost weight years ago and got to a healthy weight. My parents were thrilled, but I couldn’t maintain it and the weight piled back on. My dad was vocal in his disappointment. I’ve been moderately successful in other areas of my life- I have a masters degree and a good career, a husband and two children, a house, etc, but I know my weight has always been the forefront of his mind. Both of my parents have moderate dementia now- they know who I am but the cognitive decline is apparent. I visit weekly to meet with their caregivers and fill pill cases. My dad has routinely made negative comments about my weight, and then when I started losing weight it was always “keep it up, don’t stop!” It bothered me that he could forget so much and still remember everything related to my weight. The other week we stopped wearing masks because we were all fully vaccinated. My dad commented my face looked different, and that it looked good now. I joked with him that you’re not supposed to say that, you’re supposed to say that I looked good then and I look good now. He looked shocked and said “you didn’t look good then!” I know part of it is because the dementia is causing him to just say whatever he is thinking, but it still kind of hurt. I know I look better now, but I kind of wish he thought I still had value and looked good when I was 130 lbs heavier. I’ve had to come to terms with knowing that losing weight has to be for me, now. I need to stop having a pleasing my parents/rebelling against my parents mindset. It isn’t “giving in” to be a healthy weight (or to have long hair for that matter) it’s me living my life as an adult.

You’re doing so well, Jaye W! I’ve been slowly trucking along with loss on the scale, but the inches lost make me happy. I haven’t bought any new clothes but urgently need new bras. I have some smaller clothes in my closet (previous yo yo dieter) and yesterday put on a pair of size 14 jeans (no stretch)! I’ve been in my first mini-stall for about a week and a half but I am practicing patience knowing it’s just a blip. I was an exerciser pre-weight loss but I’ve added more strength training in addition to cardio days. I feel stronger and more flexible. Getting up from the floor is easier! I’m about where you are calorie wise. Remember that with exercise you need to fuel your body. I am probably still eating about 3 oz of protein per meal and sometimes I can add veggies but usually I can’t. I have a protein shake daily to meet my protein goals but may experiment with adding a snack in instead. I know I can’t eat 30 grams of protein though so a shake is such an easy add. Working on my mindset and appreciating my body how it is now, knowing that great changes are on the way. Reminding myself that I can’t hate my body into something I love. Sometimes I feel like I’m disconnected from my body—an outside observer—so I am trying to connect with myself more through meditation and gratitude journaling. ETA: one of the reasons I feel disconnected is that I have BTDT in regards to a smaller body/weight loss. Maybe I don’t want to get too attached in case it’s like all the other times I lost weight only to regain it back? Mindset adjustment for sure.

Thanks! I had plans (don’t we all) to change it more regularly as I lost weight but the app won’t let me do it and I don’t typically log in here from my desktop… but I’m done with the weight loss, officially considered healthy per BMI charts so it was time…. Ok I really feel like I’m intruding, I promise I’m not reading any other threads in this particular forum but I gotta gtfo before I get banned or something :) you’re all loved and you’re all beautiful.

Oh, goodness. This is a tough topic for me. I think I mostly avoid thinking about how my history contributed into shaping me as a morbidly obese person. My entire family, including extended family, does not have obese people...definitely some overweight individuals in the family, but not morbidly obese. Except me. My mother has always been normal BMI and my dad is a very fitness conscious person. He is overweight right now, but works out regularly, at 80 years old. I am not ready to dig into this topic today, and maybe not ever, but my heart goes out to you. WLS is for you, for your health, and not to appease your family. Your family will likely feel proud of your weight loss and make comments. Let that be about them and not you. Wishing you all the best! 💕💕

You've got to try Palmini hearts of Palm noodles. They have linguine, angel hair, lasagna. And now rice and mashed "potatoes". Delicious! I also buy Miracle Noodles but the organic in the pouches. I use miracle noodles for my ramen and pho replacement. But palmini for everything else.

three week stall. if you to do a search on it on this site, you'll find over 17,000 posts on it (and no, I am NOT kidding). It happens to almost all of us. Just stick to your plan and stay off the scale for a few days - and know that your weight loss WILL start up again. It always does...

Good luck! I didn't tell anyone about my surgery other than medical professionals, so I did it all alone and I was fine. My recovery was surprisingly easy and I only took a week off of work (I just said it was a vacation). I do suggest having a backup plan for someone you can call if you need help because it is possible that you could have complications, but weight loss surgery is statistically very safe and has a low rate of complications. See you on the loser's bench!

I also had exactly this - and my doctor showed me the pictures of my liver from during the surgery (horrifying...). I'd followed the liver shrinking diet to the letter as well. When I attended my 3 month check-up my blood tests showed that my fatty liver had improved radically and levels were now in a "normal range". [I'd had non-alcoholic fatty liver for years (it'd showed up in blood tests). My doctor said that the reduction was entirely down to the loss of weight. So this should be exactly the same for you as you continue to lose weight (hopefully).

I am near 2 months out from Bypass to bypass revision. Weight loss is slower this time around, but I'm actually glad of it. It is consistent and manageable- I feel good. My vitamin levels have been stable - a million times better than after my original bypass. I have a long way to go yet, but so far, worth it.

Aah, the three week stall. Though it can happen earlier or later than that. Yes, it is common - extremely common. I liked to think of it it as my body taking a breath to catch up with all the changes. You will start to lose again, maybe in a week, maybe two or three & you’ll experience it again. Some people will say to increase your calories or activity levels. Others will say just keep on your path. I kept on my path & the loss started again (the first time after a week, the second after almost three weeks). Congrats on your surgery & weight loss so far.

Warning -- I imagine this topic is triggering to a lot of people. It would be triggering to me outside of this community. But I want to create a space for people to talk about how their weights and bodies were treated when they were young and the impact that still has on them. I apologize if this already exists somewhere -- tried to do a search beforehand. Anyway. One of the primary brain things I am working through leading up to weight loss surgery is my relationships with my parents and their relationships with my body when I was young. My parents were pretty restrictive with food. There were certain designated "no dessert days" and when I was a little older, "no carb" days. There was a lock on the pantry, not in a way like I never got enough to eat, but it sent a message. We always had a lot of diet-oriented foods at home. During the summer, my brother and I would each spend a week with my grandparents, where we could eat pretty much whatever we wanted. When we got home, my dad liked to weigh us, and laugh about how much we gained. Both of my parents were always on a diet. There was a period of time before I was born that my dad was obese, and a period of time when I was in elementary/middle school when my mom was obese, but other than that, they've always been a 'healthy' weight. But -- always on a diet. Never thin enough. When I hit 10 or 11, my mom started wanting me to diet with her. When I was that age, I was not overweight, and did not become overweight until I was about 15 or 16. On my most generous of days, I think that she probably just was looking for a way to bond with me as I was getting older. That was the trauma of her generation, I guess; women bonded by talking about their bodies and dieting. I started going to Weight Watchers with her when I was 12 years old. A doctor had to sign off, and despite my 'normal' BMI, he did, and I will never, ever forgive him or understand why he did that. I guess the early 2000s were another time. Between the ages of 11-14 I did eDiets, Weight Watchers, the Zone diet, the Master Cleanse, normal calorie counting -- etc. Not for health; all because my mom told me that if I lost 5 pounds, or maybe 10, or maybe 15, I "could be a model." Or because, as she told me one day, "No one wants to be that fat girl in high school who can't get a date to the prom." On top of that, both of my parents, but particularly my dad, were always talking about other people's bodies. They were obsessed. They talked disdainfully about other relatives, especially my dad's sister, who were "yo-yo" dieters, whose weights kept going up and down. I helped out at my dad's small business one summer and went to lunch with him and two of his friends when I was maybe 13 years old, and they took turns guessing how much a table of women with obesity weighed, combined. My dad made it clear, over the course of many years, that he hated fat people, and I have no doubt this is still true -- he just doesn't say those things in front of me anymore, because I've become what he hates. There are probably a dozen reasons why I gained so much weight in my late teens and through my 20s, but the connection I feel between eating whatever I want and freedom from my parents is intertwined in a way that is painfully clear. It is all about control, and watching what I eat still feels like they are controlling me. Eating whatever I want, until I got so overweight that it was taking a real toll on me, was how I felt in control of my own life. Now I feel like I have control over almost every area except food. All of this is working together to form a really big anti-motivator for surgery for me, which is that the idea of making my parents happy (and grandma -- don't even get me started there) in the process of losing weight is absolutely repulsive to me. I am desperately looking forward to a smaller body so that I can so things that everyone else talks about here -- fit in an airplane seat, have more stamina, have an easier time exercising, reducing risk of weight-related health problems, finding clothes that fit that actually reflect who I am, etc. But I feel sick whenever I think about turning up at home in a couple of months, looking noticeably smaller, and them saying something about it. I feel like I'm not going to be able to handle it. I don't want them to say a gd thing about it. And I don't want to get into unpacking years of hurt with them. I'm already thinking of ways I can minimize my weight loss when I'm home; baggy clothes, etc. It is such a mind mangle to want the result of surgery so bad and simultaneously be dreading them. I don't want them to ever think I did this because of them. I don't want them to ever feel that they won. If you have stuff related to this you want to get off your chest, I hope you feel welcome to share those things here.

Hey everyone! I just joined the site about a month or so after discovering it. I first considered weight loss surgery about 6 years ago. It was put on hold for varying reasons. Last year, I finally decided to move forward, then COVID hit. My first choice was the Lap Band, but after reading personal experiences on this site and others, I changed my mind. Also, my surgeon was willing to do the procedure, but he had made clear it typically was not as successful and had more long term complications (erosion, slippage, etc) than the sleeve or bypass. After scheduling an appointment to further discuss my options and the pros and cons of each type of surgery, I will now be having the gastric bypass procedure. Surgery is scheduled for next week (May 18th). I'm excited and also nervous. I have mild anxiety, but it's controlled without medication and I see my therapist occasionally. For anyone with anxiety, how did you limit nervous or anxious feelings prior to surgery?

TY I was getting very worried. I would be happy if my loss stopped around the 150lbs mark. I thought I looked great at that weight.

Hi, your story sounds a little like mine! I am 8 years out, had great success, and then life got in my way, too. My highest was 325, and I was 306 on the day of my surgery. I’ve been struggling for the last 3-4 years to get back to goal, but the truth is that I am hanging around 215, and I need to be at 175 (my lowest was 160, but it was shockingly thin on me). Anyway, over The winter I ballooned up to 132, and in the last 10 weeks I’ve lost down to 212. My first goal is 199, and then 185, and then we will go from there. I even went to my surgeon to see about a revision, which he will do. For the moment I’ve decided against it because as long as I restrict my eating, I don’t have as much trouble with reflex, and clearly, I can lose weight. I just don’t want another surgery if I can avoid it. The hard reality for me is that I have to remain ever vigilant and keep my calories consistently 1000-1100 for slow loss, and more like 900 to see the scale move at 1-2 pounds per week. I would love to connect with you and support each other, and anyone else who wants to join in!

So I did have revision surgery sleeve to bypass. I’ll be honest and say straight up I did have it to help with my GERD. (Which I no longer have symptoms of) however also for weight loss! My highest weight (before sleeve) was 120kg. I got down to 90kg lowest however regained back up to 110kg. I am now 6 months post revision surgery and I am now down to my lowest ever of 80kg! I am so happy with my revision surgery and am happy with my results so far. Although my loss is a little slower this time around, I am sticking to my plan and weight is consistently moving downwards. No regrets. All the best to you :)

Had my nutritionist appointment Wednesday. I feel prepared in that I know what I can and can’t eat...am getting my file looked at by a nurse and hopefully submitted to my insurance next week. My case manager seems confident I’ll have a surgery date within July. but I’m starting to mourn the life I live now. I know I want to lose the weight and keep it off... but I’m going to miss a nice glass of champagne or cocktail with carbonation. A warm bowl of pasta. Full fat milk. The sense of freedom to eat when and what I want (which I suppose can also be a prison...) anyway I’m getting emotional, knowing my life will never be the same. There’s good with it, but definitely a sense of loss and mourning is coming across as well. I spoke with the psychiatrist in my bariatric clinic and she cleared me for surgery, but I feel like I may need to go see her again once or twice before surgery for my own peace of mind and a listening ear. I don’t know if I just need advice or a listening ear or insight from experience or what. whatever you offer I’ll gladly take.

I think that’s how it works for some of us. It took me a year to find the right balance to maintain. The loss was much slower (about 1kg a month) & slowed even more just before I finally stabilised. Even though I added snacks it took until I could get my meal portion sizes to close to the recommended portion size that it stabilised. I remember telling my medical team when they’d tell me I had to stop losing that I simply could not eat any more. Some days I felt all I did was eat. I certainly wasn’t trying to lose more. It was hard cause I still didn’t really feel hungry. I ate just to try not to lose more. Such a weird thing for someone who spent much of her life not eating so as not to gain weight (not that that worked!!). I used non lite salad dressings, added milk powder to milk when making chia pudding, upped my vegetables & fruit, added multi/whole grain crackers with hummus or liverwurst as a snack, added a protein bar, etc. to boost my calories. I choose things I could easily drop or modify to a low cal version as needed & I have dropped some snacks since my weight has settled. This worked for me. I wasn’t too worried at the time because of the bounce back weight @catwoman7 mentioned. Thought if I did gain those 5kgs or so, it would put me up closer to my goal without exceeding it. Congrats on your weight loss & good luck with finding that right balance for you. Just give it time.

First of all, please stop being so hard on yourself! This is not easy and nobody's perfect. Secondly, have you considered therapy? I have seen a lot of WLS patients say that it has helped them deal with their long-standing food/eating issues (which a lot of us have). I have been really disciplined about sticking with my plan and not eating anything I'm not supposed to since my surgery. Fear of dumping is a big part of that for me, but I know that the day will come when I eat something I'm not supposed to and I'll find out whether or not I get dumping syndrome. I'm afraid I won't and then I won't have that fear to keep me in line anymore. The other thing that has really helped me, though, is Pinterest. No joke. I spend so much time on Pinterest finding healthy recipes that I actually want to eat. I've found tons of recipes that fit into my plan and taste delicious. I live alone, so when I make a recipe, I end up with many servings that I freeze for later, so my freezer is absolutely packed with easy, healthy meals. I'm currently working on clearing out some of those saved meals to make room before I try any new recipes. I have a whole list of healthy recipes that I can't wait to try. Finally, I have healthy-ish treats every day. I have a major sweet tooth, so I don't think I could give up sweets altogether, but I eat treats that fit into my plan. I love Built Bars because they taste like candy bars, but they're high in protein and low in sugar. Built Bars are my favorite, but there are tons of delicious protein bars on the market that can satisfy your sweet tooth without derailing your weight loss. No, it's not the healthiest thing you can eat, but it's better than eating an actual candy bar. I recently started eating chia seed pudding and I LOVE it -- there are tons of delicious ways to flavor it. Add some cocoa powder and it tastes like brownie batter. I also found a recipe for an amazing protein mug cake:

I am 8 months out from surgery and I am binging on sugar and carbs. I lost 56 pounds but I can’t seem to go any further. I am finding it easier to eat the old foods and I’m terrified of this loss of control. I try every day to work on this problem. I journal, I read, I listen to podcasts. I start out saying no sugar today and before I know it, I am eating the wrong things. I want to go on a sugar detox but I’m so out of control I can’t even start. I literally hate my body and mind for being like this. I’m willing to try anything to overcome this. If anyone had this happen and found something helpful, please send your advice my way. I really feel like I’m about to lose it.

There is your key right there - whenever you see very rapid weight change, there is going to be a lot of water weight involved. Indeed, most of our initial loss is concentrated on water weight (it is associated with the glycogen/carbohydrate that we burn off initially,) and then we tend to pause to let things catch up before changing gears to start burning our fat reserves. We may just have a stall and not lose anything for a few days, or week or two, and we may even gain a bit as things stabilize. But they will stabilize and you will start losing again, albeit at a somewhat lower rate than before - expect that - as then you will be primarily burning your fat stores, which burn more slowly (on the order of 3500 calories per pound, versus around 2000 calories per pound when we are in that initial glycogen depleting state.)

I’m very similar to you (although a guy). I’m 43, 6’6’ and HW was 492, two weeks pre op. I was a college baseball player and athlete from young age thru mid 20’s. I Met an Italian girl with a huge family (food porn to say the least lol) got a desk job, stopped playing sports and gained about 250 lbs and the rest is history. It’s crazy to think I was in pretty decent shape at one time. I’m just over 6 weeks post op and from the 492 two weeks pre op until now, I’m down to 416. My goal weight is 250 but if I’m honest, I’ll live with being 292. That would be a 200 lb weight loss and almost 50% total. I also don’t think the scale matters in the long run. If your health stats are good and in normal ranges and you feel good about yourself then what’s 199 vs 169 or 149? I’m sure many would disagree with this but when all the dust settles, your health matters more than the number on the scale. As long as you have good, normal ranges then I don’t care I’m I’m 292 or 250. Just my opinion though. Good luck!