Search the Community

Cleo, the hardest thing for me was actually getting my head around the fact that my body COULD be sustained on a 5th or so of what I had been consuming before my surgery. I was an overeater and binger, and so this has taken some time to get used to, but I am getting there. I mean I FEEL full after about 1/2 - 1 cup of food now, which is the point of the band (and I knew this!) but it took a while for my food addicted head to catch up and realise that this is ok and I can put the fork down when I feel this way. I've been lucky in that I haven't had any of the issues that some bandsters have (touch wood!) with reflux and PBing and unsupportive Drs, friends and family and such. I think we all face our own challenges with the band. It is a life change, and we all make the decision to go ahead with it for our own many and varied reasons. That said, not a day goes by that I don't think to myself "I wish I had of done this sooner".

Hello everyone. I'm nearly done with all of my insurance criteria. I have one more nut appt on Oct 15th. When I met with the bariatric surgeon for my consult, he had told me how much he thinks the sleeve will help me. My primary care dr is very supportive. But, WL surgeon wants to get a "go ahead" from my Rheumatologist. Right from the get go, she has been unsupportive. She told me that I'm not big enough to get wls. So, a friend of mine who just had the sleeve done last week suggested that I research benefits of wls (specifically the sleeve) and lupus. I haven't found anything. I'm wondering if someone who has gone through wls that also has lupus could share something.... Pretty Please?

Dude... I can see why you have a negative reputation rating now. You know what's wrong, getting mad at someone that's not doing exactly what you say, good intentions or not, you are not only being rude and aggressive, you are being childish and unsupportive. What's worse is that you can't even see how negative you really are. I feel bad for you actually. So delusioned that you think someone else is wrong because you are being controlling. You need some help bro.

My husband was initially unsupportive as well. But, I persevered and went to the seminar, picked the sleeve surgery based on my research, was approved in 2 weeks. I prayed about it a lot and eventually my Husband came around. I know now that he was scared for me. He has become my biggest supporter and I can't imagine doing this without him. I had diabetes, high cholesterol, high tryglycerides and rheumatoid arthritis at 40 years old. In the 3months since my surgery, I have lost 45 pounds, my glucose is normal, my blood pressure is normal, my tryglycerides are normal and my cholesterol is within 3 points of being normal. I feel better than I have in a long time. I am so happy I had the surgery. I am losing a bit slower than some but I know that everyone's body is different. i am still adjusting to new eating habits, exercise and more. But, I know I am on the right path. I failed over & over on diets and my doctor said only 2% of dieters keep the weight off without surgery. Its a vicious yo yo syndrome. i am glad to be off of that.

I actually told her to STFU and she got really mad at me and wouldn't speak to me for 2 weeks. How dare I tell her to STFU she said. LOL Needless to say we are not as close as we used to be. Another "great" comment she made (with a disgusted look on her face) was, "Are you sure you'd rather have all that excess loose skin then be overweight?" I told her she was rude and unsupportive and she was seriously dumbfounded - thought she was my #1 supported and friend. I figured out why she was saying that kind of stuff to me though - she likes me fat, I make her feel good about herself. Sad but true...

I had a doctor tell me that the LB wouldn't help someone my size. I was stunned that any doctor would tell any MO not to try ANYTHING to try and improve the situation. I gave him two more times to come around, the third time I told him that he was unsupportive and irresponsible to tell a MO to not try something positive for his health. He told me that I wouldn't lose more then 100lbs. I told him to write that down and read it and ask me if it sounds responsible to tell an MO patient not to lose 100 lbs. That same week I meet with two other doctors, I chose one as my new doctor. I went back to my old doctor and asked him to personally contact my new doctor and not only forward my files, but inform him I left him because he didn't support my attempt at weight loss with the LB. My new doctor found it odd and unprofessional of him. Interesting side note, he moved about 3 months later.

Well now, this brings up a new topic. I have not been counting anything. I have just been trying to eat nearly only Proteins other than the occasional banana or sometimes a few strawberries in my Protein shakes. I suppose I must get in the odd carb and clearly am getting calories. I figured since I am eating so little that I didn't need to count anything. It seems to make it all more stressfu. I am shocked and impressed by your weight loss. I have lost 40 lbs in 9 weeks but you have done so much better. I confess to not yet doing one lick of exercise. Do you think this accounts for the difference. I can't really imagine that I could eat much less than I already do. I am always curious about this process and wonder what gives one person more success over another. I guess I know that there are so many variables. I worry all the time and this is why counting anything would just add to my worrying. I worry that I don't drink enough, because I know for certain that I don't. I worry that I don't get enough protein because I know I don't. I worry that I haven't pushed myself enough to exercise and I worry about the possibility of failure at some point. (this latest concern brought on by rather unsupportive family members). So congrats to you on such a big weight loss. You are definitely doing something right!

Are you a minor or something? Me personally i dont care what anyone else thinks that includes family. If i am doing something to better myself then i will go with it regardless of what other people think. Not sure how they can sue the surgeon if you are an adult. If you have friends that are supportive those can be better than unsupportive family many times.

If you’re considering weight loss surgery or you’ve gotten it, you’ve gone through a lot. You’ve fought obesity for years. You may have had to bite your tongue when friends, family members, and even strangers have been unsupportive or even downright mean. You’ve worked hard at many diets, especially (if you’re a post-op patient) your pre-op and post-op diets. That’s all worth being proud of! There are plenty of other things to be proud of, too. There are the milestones, like losing your first 50 lbs., getting under 300 or 200 lbs for the first time, or getting out of the “obese” BMI category and into the “overweight” or “normal weight” category. And there are may be other sources of pride, like seeing your face in a mirror and being happy with it for once. So, what are you most proud of in your weight loss journey? For me, I think it has been my ability to maintain my weight loss without fixating on food. Instead, I am able to enjoy a fuller life.

I too am scheduled for surgery 10/3 but am terrified because i have no support, i have decided to hire someone to help me clean/cook because i have two little kids. i also have unsupportive husband so i need to recover ASAP. Good luck

I have my pre-op scheduled for February 19 and my surgery scheduled for March 5. I'm self pay for the sleeve, and am waiting for all of my funding to come together. I'm nervous because I really haven't told anyone in my life about what's going on. I live out of state from my family. Originally I told my sister because I wanted her to come out to help me, but now she seems pretty judgemental (mostly about the money aspect of it because I would have to finance it) so it hardly seems worth it just to avoid questions about money. I don't really have anyone to take me to to the hospital. Honestly I was thinking about taking a cab (I have to be there at 5:30am) - I think getting a ride back home might be easier. I've told one person I work with - so she could probably pick me up after work. The facility is 4 miles from where I live. I'd like to take a cab home, but I don't know if that's allowed. I also don't really have anyone to stay with me after surgery, so I'm kind of freaked out about that as well. I've started transitioning to the liquid diet now so it would be easier as I have to switch completely over two weeks before. I'm also thinking about buying a treadmill so I can walk at home. I just feel kind of all over the place right now. I don't know how hard coming home after surgery really is going to be and how much help I'll really need. Do I need to tell someone close to me, or will I be able to do this alone? My family for the most part has been really unsupportive when I first said I was interested in doing this because they don't think I am "big enough" or should be able to lose weight on my own. And I don't realy have a lot of friends, and the ones that I do work a lot and I don't really want anyone knowing my private business anyway. Am I being crazy?

I put it out there! I'm proud of me for standing up for me. I made a choice and think its a great one! I even made it FB official the first day of my liquid diet. I've only mentioned it once. I had 12 people contact me and tell me they too had started the process and were afraid to put it out there. I told my husband, our parents, our siblings, my friends....then FB. Judge away and I will delete them. I no longer have room in my life for unsupportive people. We all deserve better than that! Lucky me no one has said anything negative to me directly or that I've heard about. I don't have room for busy bodies either!

If I asked "I am going on vacation and will keep my band filled, is that the right thing to do?" would there be any discussion or comments? Of course not. I posed the appropriate question necessary to generate information and thoughts on the issue that I am trying to work through and about which I have not made a decision. As people challenge my question and assumptions and I challenge theirs in return, we all learn more about both positions and their validity or invalidity. That is the nature of a didactic dialogue. If the only thing you can draw from that is that it looks like rationalization then so be it. Obviously other posters are willing to accept this issue as undecided for me, as I have stated repeatedly. You have not explained why this is a "bad, bad decision" without relying on unsupported pat statements. We can disagree as to whether or not the eating issue is a big deal and whether it is a useful for me to spend my time in Europe talking about my surgery over dinner, but that's not the issue. I already stated that if I can avoid the rudeness problems and not get the unfill, that is the solution I will choose and I am currently working on getting an answer on precisely that point. While I am working on that solution, there does not seem to be any reason not to have a discussion about whether a temporary unfill is something I can recover from in a reasonable amount of time. At the very least it will provide people researching whether to have the surgery some better understanding of what I suspect is an issue for people other than myself.

I felt so bad for Laura when her husband was being so unsupportive. I get that for so long he was her caretaker and that its hard for him to get used to the change. However he should be proud of his wife for the strength she has to change her life. Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

I felt so bad for Laura when her husband was being so unsupportive. I get that for so long he was her caretaker and that its hard for him to get used to the change. However he should be proud of his wife for the strength she has to change her life. Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App Laura! Thanks. I felt bad that I couldn't remember her name. She seemed really grounded for someone who has gone through so much. I am so glad they started seeing a marriage counselor. Her husband is 180 degrees different from the horrible Gareth. He did seem really at sea about how his role was changing. The thing that annoyed me from both Marla and Laura was the obsession with getting skin surgery long before they had gotten to a stable weight. I wonder if the production put that in their heads? Adding: I think the theme for this episode was: protein, protein, protein and walk, walk, walk.

I have finally, FINALLY, also started to tell some select people again about the surgery, now that they have asked me if I am losing weight, etc., and have been surprised by their reactions! Some people I thought would be unsupportive have actually called me courageous! On the other hand, I also did tell my sister-in-law last week. I had been putting that one off for quite a while. She is always dieting off her extra thirty or so pounds with this fast or that gadget, but I think it has always comforted her that no matter what she weighs, I always weigh more. She's always all about what I am eating or not eating or why? am I not eating??? Her reaction was weird !!!! It was like I mentioned it, and then she turned on a dime and started immediately talking about something else! Like, 'I am having weight loss surgery' and she was like 'oh look, cows!' And then started babbling something about how she was at the car dealership with her Lexus and her boss gave her some assignment, blah blah blah. And not a word since! It's like radio silence! Wow, I expected lots of research on dead lap band patients and statistics, instead it's like I said something forbidden. Like if she ignores it, it won't be true. Like I said, weird !!! :tt1:

Hi everyone, In the past few months I have been reading a lot of message boards about lapband surgery (most are American) and I am starting to feel slightly worried that I am missing something big that I should be doing. It seems like so many people get refused surgery or are undergoing rigerous testing and diets before they can have the surgery. In comparison, this process has been very easy for me and I really haven't had any obstacles- other than dealing with unsupportive people! I went to the info seminar last year, then I got a referal from my doctor and then went to see a surgeon and I now have a surgery date- 22nd May! :eek::w00t: I have my insurance, I'll be going on Optifast for 4 weeks before surgery and I have another appointment with my surgeon 2 weeks before my surgery. Is there something else I should be doing or is it really this easy? :cool2: Thanks for your input. :tt2:

I'm guessing by now you have had your surgery. How are you doing? You don't need those unsupportive people in your life...you have us!

I'm glad you have all us "meanies" figured out in the short month you've been apart of this "unsupportive" community. Your post clearly shows you know NOTHING about the VSG family and the tremendous support (and sometimes tough to swallow truths) given here. And thanks for pointing Tamz to your "other" site where the people are more "informed" and "loving." That you care not to mention.

hello all!!! My surgery date is June 4th!! I am excited and very nervous. I have to loose 10 pounds before surgery or he said he will cancel. i am nervous I won't be able to do it and keep it off. I am good for loosing 10-15 pounds and I am great for gaining it all back plus another 5. He didn't give me a pre op diet but I think I should just do the post op diet. My only other problem with the post op diet is that I have a sales conference with my job for the first week in May and i don't want anyone to know and I don't want to be starving around all these people. Then mother's day weekend i am going out of town with my family who are so unsupportive. i think I just need words of encouragement. my hubby gives them to me, but I just don't know.

Sorry to hear about your unsupportive husband. It sounds like he is insecure about himself and wants company. I thank God everyday for giving me a spouse/partner that supports decision I make, especially about my health. As mentioned try to find some counseling to help him understand what you are going through. Sometimes guys are idiots and only think of their own feelings. Good Luck and don't give up!!

I use a treadmill and recumbent exercise bike due to a back injury. I had surgery on my lumbar spine and so I can't sit unsupported (like a regular exercise bike) and also mini tramps and walkers, ellipticals etc are totally out. Unfortunately I know this by experience :drool: I think I would be totally brain dead if I didn't have music dvd's on. It not only gives me beat to walk to but something to look at! Course a new murder (which I haven't seen before) is good for quieter sessions :tongue2:

Becoming diabetic along with HBP I wanted to be here a long time for my son.....on the negative side, eating dinner in the room because I had a verbally unsupportive husband who thought it was being "truthful" to call other people fat.

There will always be shades of gray!!!....however blatent lies for insurance purposes is not my cup of tea and not what I want to teach my children. I do feel that it is dangerous to view this surgery lightly and as a cosmetic procedure for the general public to just elect as with having botox or other cosmetic surgery. There are definate risks and post surgery behavior that must be adhered to. JQ Public is not always informed or ready to put in the full efforts required. My husband is a physician....and was totally unsupportive in my decision to have myself banded. He was thinking long term for my ultimate health and what complications could come from my decision. Of course.....I was doing all my research and speaking very candidly with the doctor/surgeon.....and only because the doctor believed that I would and could benefit greatly from the surgery and that I was a good candidate (no metabolic syndrome problems etc)...... that I continued to pursue the matter. My husband is slowly getting on board...as he can see that I am taking my health seriously and not expecting the band to do the work for me. I knew I had to intervene if I wanted to be around for the future.My BMI was 35...but with 2 co-morbidites (including a horrid sleep apnea that was ruining my health) I was lucky the insurance approved me...but if they had not....I probably would not have pursued the band...as we have too many financial burdens going on....but I would have continued to try to lose wt the "ol fashioned way......I had already lost 14 lbs from the time was measured with the bariatric program and was going through all the testing till the time I went in for surgery. Now, I have lost an additional 14 with the first month of my band....and hopefully many more to lose! There are many tests that are performed before you are accepted to have this surgery....they are all for your benefit and to reduce the risks of serious complications. The bariatric nurse......who had roux-en-y gastric bybass 8 yrs ago......had a massive heart attack one week post surgery.....and she could have died! Luckily, she recovered and was able to lose 160 pounds....and she has been an advocate for total awareness of the risks and benefits of bariatric surgery. She still says....it is a daily struggle and she must work at not slipping back into bad habits. For anyone who is stuck in a rut....and has tried and failed over and over....then it might be time for a life-preserver called Lapband Surgery. But that is a personal journey and must be an informed choice. We know ourselves and where our health is going or not going. We must take an active role if we are to succeed. I am glad that I pushed forward without the blessings of my husband....as I think this surgery will have saved my life and most definately have improved it's quality....let alone I feel I am already walking taller and seeing my confidence increase! But if people are still going to live at drive through....fast food chains and slouch in the sofa for hours on end......then ask for a surgery to right all the wrongs.....I think it would be unethical for the doctor to accept this type of person as a patient. An informed and motivated patient....that has been tested to rule out any other problems that could be harmful......should be able to have access to surgery....if a qualified doctor believes they will be able to improve their health...regardless of #'s called BMI or scales....if a doc feels the benefit outweighs the risk for you....then you should be able to follow through with surgery. If an insurance co doesn't want to pay....well.....hey....take a mortgage on your home......you might live longer to see it all paid off! Yes it is expensive....but it is the price of a quality car....and I think much more important in the long run. Smiles....diane : )

Hi Bmanns01, I've been there. You are NOT alone! We've been talking about this exact topic in the Unsupportive partners make me so angry! forum. I'm having surgery next Tuesday and I'm going alone BUT these forums have been so helpful. You are doing what you feel is best. We are all doing what we feel is best for our body, our health, and our mental state of mind. My parents, children, husband, siblings all think I am making a bad decision, but I'm not going to let their negative energy affect me. I started my pre-op diet yesterday and it was a struggle but when I weighed myself today and saw I lost 6 lbs, I knew I am on the right track. This just motivates me to keep going. I met with my PCP yesterday and she intimately knows my struggles and she was very happy for me for taking this step. This motivated me as well. So I will get on the plane on Monday, by myself, and do what I have to ensure my journey is successful. I am here for you too anytime you need to talk!