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Hello everyone! Sorry about not checking in the last few months but I have been really busy the last few months. I quit going on LBT at work because someone on the boat has been looking at all the sites people have been on and I don’t want anyone at work to know about my band. I went to Asia in May and I have only been back to work and move out of my house. I am now residing in Thailand for the most part. I really enjoy it out here and I plan on staying for a least a few more months. I am not really losing any weight but on the other hand I have not gained in along time either. I got within just 2 lbs of my goal in Jan then I gain some weight back. Right not I am right around 185-190lbs which is about 10-15 lbs more than my goal but I also get a lot of better feedback about my looks than I did before the weight gain. I have not really been exercising much the last few months because of an injury I got a few months back. Anyhow I just wanted to say Hi to everyone and sorry but I have not really looked at the past posts because I think it will talk me 3 weeks just to get caught up. Talk to you all later and I hope all is well. Insub: are you planning on visit Asia at all? Capt Dan

Hi all I haven't been in the place in a while. I have managed to keep about 60lbs off but still not at my goal. At a doctor's (primary care) visit last week, he told me that I had gained 10 lbs over 2 years. That didn't surprise me - I had allowed other life matters get me off of workout schedule, drink more wine and I definitely noticed the difference in my clothes. I immediately got back to the gym (even bought a weighted hula hoop) but the glass of wine after work is still kinda habit/addiction. I go through spurts of eating well and spurts of eating junk. I haven't had much,if any, trouble with my band. I don't visit the doctor often but I am contemplating another fill, given the weight gain. This is life's work fa real! R~

I think it's just because I have a lot to lose! Also carbs have a horrible weight-gaining effect on me, so once I drop those I usually lose it fairly quickly. Now the key is to stay away from them!!

Welcome Bigbaby! And congratulations!! The day will be here before you know it. Kimmum & Nina...my thoughts and prayers are with you today!!!! Post as soon as you can and let us know how you're doing Tomorrow is a BUSY day in band land!!!! Day four and I am feeling pretty darn good! Still not hungry, but that's a good thing. I am able to drink more water today, so that's a good thing. I was thirsty but just couldn't get much down before today. I've lost all my surgery weight (gained 8 pounds of fluid) and am on the down swing again. Ya know what's so strange to me??? I drink about 3oz of protein shake and I am STUFFED. I just can't wrap my head around it yet. It's so exciting!

Hi Everyone, It's been a long time since I visited the site. I could tell you that I have been busy (which is true) or that I had a new grandaughter in July (which is true) but the real reason is that I have been so down and yes, it's because of very little weight loss. Once I was allowed to eat a regular diet after the surgery, I discovered I could eat anything and that I wouldn't be like some of the folks who never needed a fill and lost a lot of weight quickly. I was bummed. So then the fills started. My first fill was 10 or 11 days ago. Actually, it was the same day as my 1 month check-up. I had a 1cc fill (4cc band) on a Tuesday. I called the office on the following Friday to let them know that instead of feeling fuller, I felt looser. She explained that they just replaced air that was in the band with fluid and I said "well fill'er up again." I went in that same day and he put in 1.4cc of fluid. Hardly worth the trip! So I called the following Tuesday to whine and I went back in today. He said he'll put in 1.6 cc of fluid. I said how about 2cc. He struted about doing the "I am man thing" so I stuck my head out the door when I heard my doc's voice and asked if I could have 2cc's PLEASE! To my surprise, my doc came in and said SURE! I watched the whole time and the doc knew I was making sure I wasn't being skimped. He called me on it, I admitted to it, he laughed! He also told me that it was OK to get frequent fills in the beginning because the goal is to use the band as a tool. So if this doesn't work, I'll call on Monday to schedule again. The truth is my weight loss is so slow, it gets me down sometimes. Then I try to remind myself that my weight gain was never this slow and I could have gained 20 pounds in 6 weeks. If it continues like this maybe I will have lost 60 lbs by Christmas. Now that's a pleasant thought. Thanks for listening. , Me:o

Angel thanks for the advise and input but I CLEARLY stated am looking for input about people that have had the DS, not advise on how to lose weight. And no offense but you are 7 months post op. thats when i was down to 129. it's easy....so easy at that time. Wait until you're almost 2 years out its a whole different ball game. Look at the weight gained since being sleeved thread that's pinned. There are dozens of us struggling with regain. It's annoying that people less than a year out think they know it all. I'm not trying to be rude but just wait and see how it is in a year, you may look back and realize you we're a little too cocky, just like 3/4 of the people here less than a year out.

I too didnt have much encouragement from family. My mom and friends don't think I'm fat enough, lol I guess I should wait till I cant get out of bed. No thanks!! Now that its done, They are all watching and waiting, they said if it works for me (because nothing in the past has)they might consider doing it. My husband thought it would have been a faster melt away but again I've tried for years to take the weight off without go success. I have only been really heavy since 1996 after my second child was born, I lost all of the weight and gained it all back in about a 6 week time period. I went to the dr for depression because of the weight gain and got put on Phen Fen. It did NOT work the only thing I lost was a Healthy Heart. I now have a heart condition from it and found out through bloodwork that I have hypothyroidism which causes weight gain. Maybe if the dr was more helpful he would have read the blood results before putting me on weight loss drugs and my heart wouldn't have damage. Oh well, do this for you and only you if they love you they will come around. Good luck with Aetna thing. I have Horizon and had to to everything in my power to get it approved even with weight history, diabetes, etc. I was approved 1 day before my surgery talk about going crazy. Well anyway best of luck and welcome to the family.

Well....my day is here! As of this morning...I have hit my goal weight of 165lbs!:wub: I knew this day would come but until you actually see it, you just don't believe it!:thumbup: Funny, I thought I'd be jumping up and down and screaming over it, but I am pretty calm about it and happy as a lark. I had to go for a tad bit of unfill yesterday. I am down to 5.2cc's. My body is adjusting a bit and I may have to go in again for another tweak by getting more taken out so I can maintain. It's amazing to me that I don't need as much fill as others. I mean I just assumed we all were pretty much on the same with that but not needing much more than 5cc's is amazing to me. Anything too much over 5.4cc and I get stuck and throw up in my sleep. Which is NOT a pleasant feeling at all.:scared2: It's scary because I think, what if I don't wake up and I choke?! So now, the major question is....do I need to lose more or should I be happy with what I am now? My initial goal was 170 but then I thought 165 would be better for BMI purposes. Now I am not really sure if I want to stop. What about 160? Plan for the monthly weight gain, blah, blah, blah. Am I turning into one of those skinny bitties who obsesses over the scale!:crying: There are some places I feel need to get a little thinner but I am not sure if it's because they are not quite as toned as I want them to be or if it's really just a tad bit flabby. Everyone knows from previous posts I am not exactly happy with where my tummy is but I want to give it a full year before considering anything else. I tried on a size 10 and danced all around the dressing room when they fit. I am thrilled with that....so what is it in me right now that wants more? I am going to have to meditate on that. I mean, I don't want to look sickly! Shape and curves are good.:thumbup: RIGHT???? I am feeling really silly right now...why am I not as happy as I thought I would be? On a different note...my doc left the office where he was. He is on an extended vacation right now and when he comes back he will decide where he will be. Not sure how I feel about that. I love him but I love my nurses too. I bet my main nurse will go with him and if that happens I will move my files with him. Didn't see that coming!:thumbdown: As always....I AM BLESSED! Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?:tongue2: Surgery Date: May 21, 2009 Starting Weight: 280lbs Dr. Michael Metz - St. Luke's Hospital Denver, CO:thumbup: Follow my progress thru photos: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/members/5...lbums3475.html

Hey Southern Missy, I had a look at your post and just had a couple of questions (I did not have to do a 6 month preop diet thing)... 1) What is your 6 month preop that you have been on? On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not so good) where would you say you are on it with how well you have been following the diet guidelines? 2) Is the medication that you have been taken known to cause weight gain as a side effect?

The 6-month supervised "diet" really isn't a diet at all...like most people, the doctor is not so concerned with me losing any weight, more of a maintenance type thing, which as a general rule I don't have a problem with. For example: I have been the same weight for over a year and a half with only TOM fluctuations. When I saw my OB/GYN last month for my yearly, when he discovered I was put on Lexapro, he made a point of telling me it was not one he would have chosen because of the side effect of weight gain. So, anyway.. I would have to concur that it did have that effect on me. Prior to that, I was on Zoloft for 5 years and, as I said, since starting on Lexapro in October, I have had the 20-pound weight gain. BTW all January bandsters, Didn't mean to hijack your thread! :smile:

Thank you for replying. Do u mind if I ask who did your VSG, was it in Mexico? I have schedule to go with Dr. Illan and I'm pretty nervous about it. I' definitely tight from the weight gain. Parially due to my thyroid bottoming out. Again thank u for sharing

wow girls you make me feel like a whimp! spinning class, running,themage, I thought I was hot shit cause I can drive now! lol Lianna- second opinion and tell them what you want, and let them know you want tight abs. My understanding is that your abs seperate towards your side with weight gain too, not just child birth, and with the tummy tuck the muscles are brought to center and stitched together to get the six pack look. ask the surgeons if the consult fee is applied to surgery if you go with them, mine was. For the breast life qustion, yes, they do get smaller. I was a Victoria secrets 40 dd/e before surgery, and bringing the girls to about face and removing excess skin I am now (yes I went shopping already) a Victoria IPEX as it has no wires, cant wear wires, ready..... 36C, yep cant believe it, I got hot, sweaty and thought I would pass out when the bra fit in the cup and then in the middle hooks around. I was crying in the middle of the mall. Havnt been that size since Jr. High. So yes they are smaller and purky. Husband told me they look fake he is so used to the saggy ones! Joestta: You have to remember Georgia is SUPERWOMAN!! I am 4 weeks out and today is the first day I have driven and if I worked at a desk it would start today dont rush things. wait till you have time to recover. Georgia; YOUR MY HERO!!! Keep me informed on the arm therm--- anything to shrink the fat!!! where do I sign up!

Your thyroid can cause lots of problems: weight gain, hair loss, fatigue, abnormal periods, temperature imtolerance, and more. I hope they get it under control but at least the meds have been proven to be effective. It will work!

One week ago I slipped and fell. I hit my head hard and my ribs and scapula are hurt too. The scale jumped up 6 pounds 2 days after. The scale has been down 4 pounds and back up 2 pounds. I'm eating the same. Is this weight gain from swelling?

what is smartlipo?? ive had some problems with my arms getting saggy. ive never had big arms before my weight gain and now they are looking pretty awful. i dont want them looking this bad when i go on the cruise with my grand daughter... i want to swim a lot. so... what is smartlipo please

The thing I love about myself is that when I get down and grumpy and irritated and miserable - it doesn't last long! Yay! I'm back! It's always a tiny little teensy eensy thing that makes me go "what was I so bothered about?" It's this kind of perpetual circle. I want out of the bad mood so badly that I'm running in circles - and getting irritated accordingly - to get out of the bad mood - which just exacerbates my bad mood. And then something eensy teensy happens and I'm fine. Hopefully this blog won't read like me last two. What I do have to say about the last two, though, is that to me, it's part of what this process is like - for those that have to go through the danged program. Those feelings are real and I've read them elsewhere and it's better to be aware than to be surprised when the irritable grumpiness happens. I could have kept it all to myself and I would have gotten over it all just like I have with letting it out. Letting it out didn't make me feel better and it didn't make me feel worse. The people who piped up and said "dude, we're here for you", well, that helped, but me typing out how stupid I was thinking, that didn't make me feel better or worse. But if someone reads it and says to themselves, "that's how I feel" - well then the work of the blog is done. Anywho. I had my annual well woman exam this morning. And this doc is something special. I think he suffers worse PMS than I ever have. Sooooo moody and if you catch him on the wrong day, man, hold your head in your hands cause if you don't, you may lose it. Today was a good day. The last time I saw this doc was in November when I approached him to ask for his endorsement for this surgery. He was not so very kind in saying his opinions on my weight gain were that I was basically stupid. It was a less than fulfilling meeting but at the end of the day, he did give me his endorsement and I figured "whatever". His endorsement meaning a Letter of Medical Necessity. Today, though...wow. I didn't know who I was going to meet today. I've now seen this guy 4 times and I've had 2 wonderful appts and 2 nail-scraping-on-chalkboard appts. I have always loved the office staff there, though, and, in anticipation of having to switch to a new doc in the same office when my hubby and I get pregnant, I've dealt with it. Anywho. Today. FABULOUS GUY! He was chatty, he was sweet, he was positive, he was upbeat, he was in a great mood and even complimentary! Started with - how was your New Year. I'm thinking, ok... Asked if I had questions. I asked his input on actually getting pregnant after being banded. I hear 2 years before we start trying and I don't know that I buy that, personally, especially when considering my case. Not saying I want to get banded and then immediately start trying to get pregnant. What I think is that if I focus this year on losing weight, that going into 2011 we should be in a good place for starting to try. If I can lose even just 66 pounds this year, I'll be at a normal BMI. If I can get banded in Feb or March, as has been discussed, then that seems doable. Say it was the end of Feb - that gives me 10 months to lose 66 pounds which means an average of 6.6 pounds a month. Seems to me that most do better than that when they try...and I'll certainly be trying. So we had a conversation about that. And he thought it was all very doable and reasonable. If I were heavier then it might be more important to focus on two years. But I'm not heavier. And I am older, too. For a first pregnancy anyway. And then he really surprised me. He complimented me. Said "you are doing well already!" What? YOU are saying something NICE to ME? Who ARE you? In a moment I wish I could undo - he said he wants me to do my baseline mammogram this year. This summer. Really? Am I there already? But then the whole thing got eery. He got cute. He says, as we are saying our good byes.... "I can't wait to see you next year and I hope to see less of you." Noticing that he was possibly sticking his foot in his mouth he says - "well not less frequently, just less person". Noticing he was still possibly sticking his foot in his mouth he started to stammer. And I'm just smiling cause I know what he means and I know where he's coming from and it's really cute and not bugging me and I even thought it was funny - and right on the dot. So I Iet him off the hook and said "I know what you mean and it sounds great to me, too!" He smiled and shook my hand and said he couldn't wait to see me next year - keep up the good work. Really? 10 pounds is good work? 10 pounds in 4 months? I guess it's something. But it's not a lot... I have to chuckle - cause it is a lot when I consider how I've done it. Given the program and it's design, it's been half-hearted and half-arsed. Sigh. I really can't wait to just let myself go and TRY! Anywho. Who knows if I will get banded. Who knows if this is all for nothing or all for something. But somehow, this appt gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and now I just feel better. Add to that - the cold is still on the retreat and I feel ~95% finally. Still a bit of a stuffed up nose - but nothing I can't start to attribute to allergies. Speaking of which, I think I'll go get some decongestants...

The thing I love about myself is that when I get down and grumpy and irritated and miserable - it doesn't last long! Yay! I'm back! It's always a tiny little teensy eensy thing that makes me go "what was I so bothered about?" It's this kind of perpetual circle. I want out of the bad mood so badly that I'm running in circles - and getting irritated accordingly - to get out of the bad mood - which just exacerbates my bad mood. And then something eensy teensy happens and I'm fine. Hopefully this blog won't read like me last two. What I do have to say about the last two, though, is that to me, it's part of what this process is like - for those that have to go through the danged program. Those feelings are real and I've read them elsewhere and it's better to be aware than to be surprised when the irritable grumpiness happens. I could have kept it all to myself and I would have gotten over it all just like I have with letting it out. Letting it out didn't make me feel better and it didn't make me feel worse. The people who piped up and said "dude, we're here for you", well, that helped, but me typing out how stupid I was thinking, that didn't make me feel better or worse. But if someone reads it and says to themselves, "that's how I feel" - well then the work of the blog is done. Anywho. I had my annual well woman exam this morning. And this doc is something special. I think he suffers worse PMS than I ever have. Sooooo moody and if you catch him on the wrong day, man, hold your head in your hands cause if you don't, you may lose it. Today was a good day. The last time I saw this doc was in November when I approached him to ask for his endorsement for this surgery. He was not so very kind in saying his opinions on my weight gain were that I was basically stupid. It was a less than fulfilling meeting but at the end of the day, he did give me his endorsement and I figured "whatever". His endorsement meaning a Letter of Medical Necessity. Today, though...wow. I didn't know who I was going to meet today. I've now seen this guy 4 times and I've had 2 wonderful appts and 2 nail-scraping-on-chalkboard appts. I have always loved the office staff there, though, and, in anticipation of having to switch to a new doc in the same office when my hubby and I get pregnant, I've dealt with it. Anywho. Today. FABULOUS GUY! He was chatty, he was sweet, he was positive, he was upbeat, he was in a great mood and even complimentary! Started with - how was your New Year. I'm thinking, ok... Asked if I had questions. I asked his input on actually getting pregnant after being banded. I hear 2 years before we start trying and I don't know that I buy that, personally, especially when considering my case. Not saying I want to get banded and then immediately start trying to get pregnant. What I think is that if I focus this year on losing weight, that going into 2011 we should be in a good place for starting to try. If I can lose even just 66 pounds this year, I'll be at a normal BMI. If I can get banded in Feb or March, as has been discussed, then that seems doable. Say it was the end of Feb - that gives me 10 months to lose 66 pounds which means an average of 6.6 pounds a month. Seems to me that most do better than that when they try...and I'll certainly be trying. So we had a conversation about that. And he thought it was all very doable and reasonable. If I were heavier then it might be more important to focus on two years. But I'm not heavier. And I am older, too. For a first pregnancy anyway. And then he really surprised me. He complimented me. Said "you are doing well already!" What? YOU are saying something NICE to ME? Who ARE you? In a moment I wish I could undo - he said he wants me to do my baseline mammogram this year. This summer. Really? Am I there already? But then the whole thing got eery. He got cute. He says, as we are saying our good byes.... "I can't wait to see you next year and I hope to see less of you." Noticing that he was possibly sticking his foot in his mouth he says - "well not less frequently, just less person". Noticing he was still possibly sticking his foot in his mouth he started to stammer. And I'm just smiling cause I know what he means and I know where he's coming from and it's really cute and not bugging me and I even thought it was funny - and right on the dot. So I Iet him off the hook and said "I know what you mean and it sounds great to me, too!" He smiled and shook my hand and said he couldn't wait to see me next year - keep up the good work. Really? 10 pounds is good work? 10 pounds in 4 months? I guess it's something. But it's not a lot... I have to chuckle - cause it is a lot when I consider how I've done it. Given the program and it's design, it's been half-hearted and half-arsed. Sigh. I really can't wait to just let myself go and TRY! Anywho. Who knows if I will get banded. Who knows if this is all for nothing or all for something. But somehow, this appt gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and now I just feel better. Add to that - the cold is still on the retreat and I feel ~95% finally. Still a bit of a stuffed up nose - but nothing I can't start to attribute to allergies. Speaking of which, I think I'll go get some decongestants...

we dont eat them in our house. this was an issue with my nutitritionist. she was really pushing them. i am 7 days post opt and doing fine. everything tastes weird from ketosis anyway. lol i use a natural Protein shake (plant fusion) and plain yogurt. i have small amounts of fruit. i'm not really into super sweet things anyway. i love chocolate.. eat the dark stuff. use small amounts of maple syrup and honey. bought coconut crystals to sweeten my ice tea after surgery. it has a low GI. growing up, my dad was fat, drank tons of diet pop, used saccharine in his coffee, even sprinkled it on french toast and pancakes. lost weight, gained it back, died at 56 from a second massive heart attack. they dont help much.

Hi Everyone, I need some advice with stopping the weight gain I've experienced since I was disbanded 16 weeks ago. I had a pretty severe erosion and had the band removed. I had it for nearly 6 years. I opted not to get a replacement because the erosion was such a bad experience, I didn't want the worry of another band slippage down the road. Since being disbanded, my health has dramatically improved. I'm not experiencing severe acid reflux, inflamed stomach and esophagus, vomiting every single night no matter what, pain and sleeplessness, etc. However, I've gained 10 lbs in 16 weeks and I'm worried that at this pace I won't be able to fit through a doorway soon. The hunger has come back strongly and I'm not "bulemic" anymore. Everything goes down just fine unfortunately. I've been taking phentermine to take the edge off the hunger, and I've been walking and going to the gym much more often, but I still can't seem to keep the weight from piling back on. I have to say, this is truly a shock. I really thought I would be able to keep my weight stable but apparently my body has other ideas of its own. It's like all of the sudden, my body thinks it had been starving and is now in massive fat storing mode again in case there's a giant food shortage in the future. I am seriously considering getting converted to VSG if I can talk DH into letting me spend the $11,000. He seems to think it should be so incredibly easy for me to lose weight without the band. Well, that's why I got the band to begin with, I could not do it without serious help. What's the verdict - am I going to need to get a revision surgery to stop from plumping my way back into a queen size wardrobe again? It seems like my worst fear - regaining all that fat I hated - is coming true. I admit that I loved being normal body weight and feeling like I was attractive again. It wasn't so much a health issue for me but more of an emotional/social issue. I felt extremely self conscious about my weight when I was heavy and I isolated myself because of it. I never want to go back to that depressed and sad person again. I may override DH and spend the money and work OT to make it up in the future. Thanks.

How is it that one can go from being skinny and seeing herself as fat to being fat and still see the skinny person inside? When I was a teenager/20-something year old, I was thin and thought I was fat. It makes me sad to realize just how warped my view of myself was. How could I not hear my friends when they called me "Barbie"? They even tried to explain to me, sincerely, why they called me that... How could I not hear the company commanders in boot camp when they called me "Miss America"? I always thought to myself - they are doing something like calling a huge man (tall AND wide) 'tiny'. I was the opposite of what they called me in my eye. How could I not understand and realize and see for myself what my mom always told me. When I walked around a mall - I'd leave men turning their heads. She always thought it was pretty neat walking around with me - because I didn't know I was even doing that. All I REALLY heard was the rest of my family. My uncle told me at the age of 15 I "was getting too pudgy". My aunt slapped him. Harm was done, nonetheless. My dad called me "thunderthighs" because he "thought it was funny". Maybe it was a "joke" but harm was done, nonetheless. My grandmother told me "I would never be able to attract a man if I continued to look like I did" (at 132 pounds which was technically underweight for my height.) Apparently she wanted me to be a waif - which I consider unhealthy. I was smart enough to know then that waifs are unhealthy. I was not smart enough, if you will, to know that I was being pressured into "society's norms". I was an athlete. I swam for miles. I was also in drill team. So when I wasn't swimming, I was marching for miles or dancing on football fields. Between the two activities, I had something going "all year long". And in my spare time I was in choir and drama. And in my "leftover" spare time, I was never sitting down. I look back NOW and I KNOW I was healthy and fit and JUST FINE! Is it wrong of me to just be mad mad mad at this family of mine? Because somewhere in this weight gain journey I began to realize EXACTLY how off base they all were. But. BUT. NOW....I look in the mirror...and I still see my skinny self. I look at pictures and I cannot be deceived in those cases. So I don't take pictures - and if they are taken for some horrendous reason - I DO NOT LOOK AT THEM. Who wants to see a puffed out hideous puff ball when in the minds eye, there is still a waist line? In the minds eye there are still muscular legs? In the minds eye there are still curves where curves are supposed to be. I can still see who I used to be. Don't get me wrong - I'm not entirely delusional. I AM fat! I DO need to lose weight? I DO have fat sitting on top of muscles that used to show through easily. I DO have curves where curves should not exist. I just know NOW that once upon a time - I WAS ok. I'm ok, you're ok, right? :smile2: I don't want to forget that this thinking has evolved like this. I want to remember when I am at a healthy weight that HEALTHY is what looks best. I want to remember when I am at a healthy weight that I must follow my own heart. Forget my grandmother who worked in the fashion industry. Forget my uncle who thinks that women cannot be athletes and who considered muscle "pudge". Forget my dad who just didn't know better. Forget them all. It's what I think about myself that matters.

How is it that one can go from being skinny and seeing herself as fat to being fat and still see the skinny person inside? When I was a teenager/20-something year old, I was thin and thought I was fat. It makes me sad to realize just how warped my view of myself was. How could I not hear my friends when they called me "Barbie"? They even tried to explain to me, sincerely, why they called me that... How could I not hear the company commanders in boot camp when they called me "Miss America"? I always thought to myself - they are doing something like calling a huge man (tall AND wide) 'tiny'. I was the opposite of what they called me in my eye. How could I not understand and realize and see for myself what my mom always told me. When I walked around a mall - I'd leave men turning their heads. She always thought it was pretty neat walking around with me - because I didn't know I was even doing that. All I REALLY heard was the rest of my family. My uncle told me at the age of 15 I "was getting too pudgy". My aunt slapped him. Harm was done, nonetheless. My dad called me "thunderthighs" because he "thought it was funny". Maybe it was a "joke" but harm was done, nonetheless. My grandmother told me "I would never be able to attract a man if I continued to look like I did" (at 132 pounds which was technically underweight for my height.) Apparently she wanted me to be a waif - which I consider unhealthy. I was smart enough to know then that waifs are unhealthy. I was not smart enough, if you will, to know that I was being pressured into "society's norms". I was an athlete. I swam for miles. I was also in drill team. So when I wasn't swimming, I was marching for miles or dancing on football fields. Between the two activities, I had something going "all year long". And in my spare time I was in choir and drama. And in my "leftover" spare time, I was never sitting down. I look back NOW and I KNOW I was healthy and fit and JUST FINE! Is it wrong of me to just be mad mad mad at this family of mine? Because somewhere in this weight gain journey I began to realize EXACTLY how off base they all were. But. BUT. NOW....I look in the mirror...and I still see my skinny self. I look at pictures and I cannot be deceived in those cases. So I don't take pictures - and if they are taken for some horrendous reason - I DO NOT LOOK AT THEM. Who wants to see a puffed out hideous puff ball when in the minds eye, there is still a waist line? In the minds eye there are still muscular legs? In the minds eye there are still curves where curves are supposed to be. I can still see who I used to be. Don't get me wrong - I'm not entirely delusional. I AM fat! I DO need to lose weight? I DO have fat sitting on top of muscles that used to show through easily. I DO have curves where curves should not exist. I just know NOW that once upon a time - I WAS ok. I'm ok, you're ok, right? I don't want to forget that this thinking has evolved like this. I want to remember when I am at a healthy weight that HEALTHY is what looks best. I want to remember when I am at a healthy weight that I must follow my own heart. Forget my grandmother who worked in the fashion industry. Forget my uncle who thinks that women cannot be athletes and who considered muscle "pudge". Forget my dad who just didn't know better. Forget them all. It's what I think about myself that matters.

I just came across this awesome thread! I'm not 40 yet but will be in 5 months. I joined BP February this year 2014 looking to interact with people just like you! I started my journey in hopes of being sleeved well before my 40th birthday in January 2015. I'm done with all of the requirements and now I'm just waiting on insurance approval and surgery date! I am happily married to my supportive husband 17 years in September. We have 4 children. I am 5'0 -- 4'11 give or take, weighing the most I've ever been in my life! (I may share stats when I get my date) I suffered two major oji's in 9 years as well as weight gain comorbidities! I'm ready to be back in my right mind and enjoy the rest of our lives together at almost the same size as when we met:)

So I am on the "unweightloss" program right now. When I finally was able to see my insurance company's policy regarding weightloss surgery I read in exact terms this: Failure of medical management including evidence of active participation within the last two years in a weight-management program that is supervised either by a physician or a registered dietician for a minimum of six months without significant gaps. This is frustrating to say the least. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. I am seriously struggling with this. In fact, with just changing my diet and not even my exercise levels, I seem to have misplaced TEN pounds over the past four days! I knew it was coming. My weight issues have always revolved around my hormone inbalances created by being a wonderful glorious woman (said dripping with sarcasm). Once a month - lasting for about a week - no matter what I do, I can't lose a single ounce. Once a month - lasting for about three days - no matter what I do, I gain five to seven pounds. And for the rest of the month, the weight melts off of me when I am behaving. Before I really discovered the trends and understood my body, this would get frustrating beyond all get out. But it's not so frustrating anymore. Now I can muscle down and just keep doing what I'm doing and know that when my hormones balance back out, I will be down. I have said before that my weight gains have always come when I get off of birth control. It's that hormone fluctuation that makes my body go crazy. So I'm off birth control, I'm regular, and I'm "normal", too. HA! I knew, because of where I am in my cycle, that I'd see a drop this week. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT DROP TO BE TEN FRIGGIN POUNDS! That TEN pounds puts my BMI below 40 - therefore making me ineligible. So...I have to gain it back. Yes, you heard me. I have to gain it back. I really have no choice. Unless I forego this and say "I can do this by myself". I have no doubt that "I can do this by myself". I do doubt that I can keep it off by myself. Which is why I'm here. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD. Sigh. I don't want to gain it back. I DON WANNA! THIS IS SO STUPID! :thumbup:

I've made a decision that when the surgeon's office calls to set up my surgery date in the next few days or weeks, I am going to push for February. Preferrably the 11th, because where I work that would give me two Holidays off, plus one of my Friday's off. I have the 9/8/80 schedule if anyone out there knows what that is, or has it. I plan to take full two weeks off. Why not? I have plenty of time on my books, and I want to be sure I stick to my liquid diet 100%! That can be hard to do if you're stuck at work and end up not bringing enough to keep you satisfied during the day. So, anyone else out there with a date that month or trying to push for it? I'd love to hear from you and see how it's going. Here is my journey, I hope your up to a long read... I began looking into the lap-band surgery about three years ago when I first heard about the surgery. Not very intently at first of course, and I always said I'd never even consider bypass. Not long after hearing about it my PCP told me I had chronic hypertension. Well, I was only 30 years old at that time! I was blown away. I was a chubby child (not bad), but at about 12/13 I lost the weight and was able to keep it off until about 19. It was about 2 years later I met my husband and we married shortly afterward, and it was at that time I made the most of my weight gain. It was like I was sleeping all though it and I never realized it happened. My eyes were really opened that day my doctor informed me of my disease. Well, needless to say I hadn't even stepped on the scale in many, many years. I was wearing a size 28 at the time of my diagnosis. I made a conscious effort to lose some weight on my own, still not fully supporting the idea of surgery. I did pretty good. I did it through good old better eating and exercise. I lost about a pant size before making that ultimate step onto the scale. It said 315!!! OMG! :faint: You know, I knew I was pretty bad off, but still - even then - I didn't imagine it to be that bad. Keep in mind I'd already lost some weight. I've come to terms with it now, and can easily say I was probably at my max upwards into the 330's. Well, I continued to lose a little more weight in the same way - but somewhere betwee 270 and 280 I'd stopped. I've been yo-yo'ing the last ten pounds ever since. I've been this weight for probably the better of two years now. It was at the beginning of this year I realized I needed more help. I figured I needed a little something to keep my portions in control, as I noticed by journaling my intake I tend to "overeat" especially during dinner hour. Breakfast and lunch are perfect, as always. I do great when my mind is busy at work. It took a lot of courage to ask my PCP about bariatrics. It was almost as if I was admitting to myself especially that yes, I'm fat, and yes - I can't lose it alone. My travels from there have been long and arduous. But one moment of it, I do not regret. I am so thankful for the six month dietician appointments, as it prepared me a great deal and in so many ways. I don't think I will be as successful had I not done them. I am so close now, I can see the Bandland gates from here! So, anyone still going through the toughest part, HANG IN THERE!! It is, and it will be SO worth it. I simply can hardly wait!

I more or less reached my goal at 6 months, which also happened to be around Valentines Day and was exposed to a lot of candy. While I'm a full blown abstainer of carbs (bread, pasta and cakes), I ate some candy and noticed no weight gain, nor loss. I was angry that my sleeve worked great when It comes to protein and feeling full fast, but didn't phsase me in the least when I ate candy. So we really must mentally get a grip on our sweets addiction because it will continue to exist. I now know I must fully abstain from sweets as well. Also measure and weigh you portions. My phone broke so I wasn't able to track my food either, I know I likely never would have cheated that first time had I been tracking.