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Everyone says take time to seek counseling, therapy is so helpful to you. I've sought out counseling a few times. Only once did I find it beneficial. Not everyone NEED therapy for their so called problems. Part of what's wrong with society now is everything is consider an issue that need to be dealt or help with. My psychiatrist tried to tell me I needed help with alcoholism. Based on the amount and times a month I drunk. He wouldn't take in consideration that my friends and I partied and socialized a lot. Even during weekdays. A few yrs later when asked did I need help with my drinking. I said no I never had a problem and I don't drink much now. He ignored what I said and asked did I get help. Looked skeptical when I said no I just don't go now and slowed down. First he didn't believe I could drink so much and not be an alcoholic and second if I was one that I could stop on my own. He's not the only psych doc I came across that believes that. The same goes for food and drugs. They think were all the same and one size fits all. You admit to anything that sounds like a current society problem, bang, your too damaged and unfit for _______, you have to get __ wks/months counseling first. My sister had months of counseling. It did her no good. She didn't change her ways and don't regret surgery. A few friends of our didn't get counseling ( one lied about some things) and are doing fine by eating right and exercising. I can't wait to join them in step and Zumba classes. So passing a psych eval doesn't guarantee being ready for WLS.

Wow that is incredibly sad that she would stoop to that. This so reminds me of an alcoholic that never grew up and progressed and lashes out like an adolescent.

Sarah, that is so lovely! How sweet, he's a keeper! His mommy must have been a great and loving influence on him even if she was a little sad three years ago. That is the very reason you did the surgery, and it worked! Awesome! Denise, you deserve the best, I'm glad you feel that spark! Enquiring minds want to know... is he the drinker? (I cant keep my men straight!) That sounds dangerous if he is, but I sure have known some extremely charmning and intelligent men who had drug and/or alcohol problems....

Honey, just my opinion, but I think you need to rethink WLS completely, regardless of the method. Read here and on other boards about how many people regain weight after RNY (and lapband and sleeve, too). That is because WLS is just a tool. It won't keep you from sabatoging yourself. You need to get your head on straight before you attempt this. If you have a sugar problem, it's really best to address it beforehand. Some thoughts: Get on a low carb Atkins type diet asap and stick with it. Once you get past induction phase your need for carbs and sugar is substantially lower. You may find this is all you need. Attend counseling prior to getting surgery to deal with food issues. Understand how eating slider foods can easily disrupt and delay weight loss with WLS. Learn about addiction transferring and how some people with sugar addictions switch it to other foods/alcohol etc. and still continue to sabotage their weight loss Really understand how liquid and soft calories can cause you to stop losing and regain weight. Best of luck to you however you decide.

OK, I'm back and able to type a bit more. I decided just to post here instead of a PM as others may benefit from my experience. I first came to AA just over 14 years ago after hitting one of my bottoms. I don't call it rock bottom as I know I have the capacity to go lower if I were to relapse. That has been true for me in the past. Addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful foe as I knew deep down I was doing things I did not want to do, but felt powerless to stop the cycle. I repeated the same behavior time and again expecting different results, only to have things turn out the same. I would abuse substances because I didn't want to feel or confront the emotions I was dealing with. I treated substances as a reward when times were good and as a crutch when times were bad. The bottom line, for me, is that these substances weren't my problem. I was. They were my solution to help me cover up the reality of my issues and they worked quite effectively for a long time. Until they didn't. And that is when I was given the gift of desperation. I could no longer go on the way I was. I had to make a change or life as I knew it would lose all meaning. I was at a turning point. I had reached my bottom. Some of you may be asking, "What substances is he referring to? Alcohol? Illicit drugs? food?" The answer is, "Yes", to all three. I have found that I abused food in no different way than I abused alcohol. Through the help of AA, the need to use alcohol was lifted, but then I was able to replace that addiction with food. So, I very much believe it is quite plausible to begin abusing alcohol in new ways if you are no longer able to abuse food the way you used to. And if you were abusing it prior to VSG, then even more so. Trust me, there is not a single person who walks into their first AA meeting on the best day of their life. Nobody wants to make that first appearance and nobody wants to admit they are an alcoholic. To be honest with you, I don't want anybody admitting they are an alcoholic if they truly aren't. I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. But if you believe you may have an issue with some addictive behavior issues, then know that the rooms of AA have provided simple solutions to millions of people who have been able to lead much happier lives free from their addictions. I was just telling somebody yesterday that if you would have asked me to script out what I wanted to be like 5 years after getting sober, I wouldn't have been able to script it any better than how it turned out. Yes, I still have issues. Sure, I am only two and half years post VSG. But I know that this and many other options in my life wouldn't have been even possible had I not stayed sober. Going to an AA meeting does not make you an alcoholic. You are not going to be thrown into a back room and have AA shaved into your hair. Know that every person in AA, at one time, felt very similar to how you are feeling right now, and they are there waiting with their hand out. All it takes is willingness to make a change.

Hi all, new here! As someone still going through the "pre" process (just waiting for my insurance approval & surgery date), I can add a couple thoughts on the psych eval. I am someone who likes his alcohol. A lot. Not being able to drink when or as much as I want to going forward, well, that's going to be rough. Maybe I disclosed my love of rum 'n cokes a bit too much during my psych visits, but it triggered a concern with them that I have a higher likelihood to hit the bottle harder while coping with not being able to eat like I used to. "Addiction Transfer" I believe it's called. I was really scared this was going to set me back as far as them wanting to see me jump through more hoops, etc, but luckily for me, they just told me that I will need to see the psych a couple times post-surgery to see how I am dealing and making sure I'm not boozin' (I don't intend to, this is too big a deal). That all said, I am so glad such a community exists, and I look forward to becoming a successful sleever. Keep up the good work everyone, and keep being the inspirations that you are! ~Truck

Agreed. This is a huge decision. The sleeve is irreversible. You want to go in with your eyes wide open. The psych needs to make sure you know and understand what you are getting yourself into. Real world example - I knew someone who failed the psych years ago. What did he do? He went to south America where the requirements were easier. About a year after the surgery he started sabotaging his progress by grazing with carbs and alcohol. Gained the weight back. It is tough if psych says no but I think it is important. I am on my pre op diet and already I am noticing how I have previously used food to comfort me during stressful times. Just had my pre op visit and it was a little stressful so after the visit the first thing I thought about is how normally I would just go to the hospital cafe for a snack and a coffee to deal with it. Of course I can't now. Amazing how the mind works. We need to deal with our minds or this won't work. May not be what the op wants to hear but I mean no offense, just my .02

No, you do not have to stand up. That is more drama for TV, but there are meetings where it is encouraged. Bottom line is you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. For me, it didn't take too long before I heard my story being told in the rooms and I was able to identify. At that point, I had crossed the line of acceptance of my alcoholism and I wanted to identify myself as such. I am on my mobile device right now, so I will write more or contact you directly later. Just know that only you can say whether you are an alchoholic. I know AA meetings may seem daunting as there is a lot if fear that if you do identify, then you might convince yourself of something you are not. It doesn't work that way.

Someone told my husband that I'll need to replace food with another type of crutch, like alcohol. I already had shopping for new, smaller clothes picked out as my food replacement but I wondered if you had heard of increased alcohol consumptions. Also, he thinks I wont be able to go out to dinner or really socialize. Im sure that will improve over time but I think he worries that I'll be some kind of anti-social freak.

Good post Sassy. Hello everyone. My husband woke me early this morning coming home from another sleep study night. Looks like the pulmonary doctor is having him toe the line and I love it, he thinks he is his own doctor. The sleeve process has made him jump through hoops thank God. I got reinforcements which I needed.<br /><br />I became pretty vocal in welcoming newbies that have posted, and I am trying harder to<br />throw in Baby Boomers here Sassy, to welcome them here. Seems there are a lot of people<br />over 60 having surgery. Maybe we are all too busy in our lives to post more? I for onehardly have a life LOL as my husband can hardly miss his afternoon nap. I think a lot of it is depression. Just the way it is when you can hardly walk. So I spend a lot of<br />time reading and posting.<br /><br />Lets definitely try and attract new participants.<br /><br />BTW Sassy, my sister once said before she passed away, "We are all addicted to something, food, alcohol, medicines, drugs........". I agree. I grew up in a long line of<br />alcoholics. I was bored and drank every night before surgery, felt I could not relax<br />without it, and am proud to know I<br />could quit and not have a desire for it since I started my WLS. Have a good day<br />everyone!<br />

Soulful Living Food Addiction Part 1 ​(Part 1 of this article originally appeared in the WLS Lifestyles Magazine in my Soulful Living Column) Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Physical Health: Are you overweight? Do you have heart disease, diabetes, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, decreased energy, or chronic joint pain? Are there other ways that your weight and food consumption affect you physically? Emotional Health: Do you harshly judge yourself; feel shame, guilt, anger or self-hatred in relation to your weight or what you eat? Do you experience periods of depression because of your inability to control your eating behavior? Do you ever feel anxious if you do not have certain foods available to you? Finances: How much money do you spend on food that you use for bingeing, overeating, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings? How much money have you spent on diet books, diet supplements, diet foods, consultations with weight loss professionals, and seldom used exercise equipment and gym memberships? Do you miss time at work because of health problems related to how you eat? Do you believe your weight prevents you from getting a promotion or new job? Are there times that you are not as productive at your job because of how you feel (emotionally or physically) in relation to what you did or did not eat? Relationships: Do you use your weight as an excuse to avoid relationships? Or, conversely, have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed no one else would want someone your size? Are people in your life inconvenienced by your food related emotional or physical problems? When you eat foods that zap your energy or make you feel ill, are you sometimes nasty, short, or cranky with family, friends, or co-workers? Sexual Experiences: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from having a satisfying sex life? Mental Clarity: Do you ever feel a bit dull or foggy in the brain because of the quantity or quality of food you eat? Activities: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from engaging in healthy, fun activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming, dancing, or playing with your children? Are simple activities of daily living like putting on your socks and shoes becoming increasingly difficult? Do you avoid certain social situations because you don’t want to be seen at your current weight or because you are afraid you will overeat? Time: How much time do you spend thinking about food or weight issues? How old were you when you first thought you had a problem with food or weight? How many years have you been dealing with this? How many precious moments of your life have you lost to your preoccupation with food and weight? The purpose of answering the preceding questions is to not elicit feelings of self-blame or harsh self-judgment but rather to increase your awareness of how your current weight and eating behaviors may be preventing you from living a normal, productive life. Understanding that what you eat affects your every physical, emotional, and mental experience can serve to increase your motivation to cultivate a healthy relationship with food. If you are still riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster you may have an addictive relationship with food. Addiction, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, is “the persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful”. Sound familiar? Studies have shown that compulsive overeating and drug addiction share many of the same biological characteristics. For instance, when people eat large quantities of sugar and fat they develop a tolerance for these substances and need more sugar and fat to satisfy them, much like alcoholics and drug addicts who, over time, require increased amounts of alcohol and drugs to get high. Other research has revealed that many obese people and drug addicts have a lower number of dopamine receptors (the feel good receptors) in their brains which make them more likely to crave things that boost dopamine like sugar, alcohol, cocaine or heroin. Also when some people are suddenly cut off from sugar and certain carbohydrates they experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, depression, irritability and strong cravings for the substance from which they are cut off, just like alcoholics and drug addicts do when they are detoxifying from alcohol or drugs. However; neither acknowledging the depth to which your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life nor understanding the biology of addiction will in and of itself cure your obsession or right your relationship with food. You may be thinking “Well I know how to eat well and what I need to do to lose weight.” Do you really? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. How many times have you gone on a diet proclaiming “This is it! I will never again be overweight! My eating behaviors have forever changed!!” only to find yourself starting a new diet the following Monday morning? Three, four, five or more times? Sounds like insanity to me! You may know how to diet and temporarily lose weight, but you have not made the internal psychological and emotional shifts necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with food and permanent weight loss. Moving from the insanity of a food and weight obsessed life to the serenity that a loving and respectful relationship with food affords you requires the willingness to consider a new way of thinking and being in the world. For many it requires learning to live a spiritual life. Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you will fall by the way side. On page 15 of “A Course in Weight Loss” Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritual growth is a fascinating process if you allow it to be. It is an inner journey from one insight to another, in which helpful realizations fall into place as you are ready to receive them. Twisted thoughts become untwisted once you see them for what they are. Your journey from blindness to spiritual vision precedes your journey from dysfunctional eating to a healthy and wholesome relationship to food; in fact it is a necessary prerequisite for it. As you understand more deeply the roots of your weakness you lay the foundation for the cultivation of new strengths.” To be continued.....

Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Soulful Living Food Addiction Part 1 ​(Part 1 of this article originally appeared in the WLS Lifestyles Magazine in my Soulful Living Column) Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Physical Health: Are you overweight? Do you have heart disease, diabetes, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, decreased energy, or chronic joint pain? Are there other ways that your weight and food consumption affect you physically? Emotional Health: Do you harshly judge yourself; feel shame, guilt, anger or self-hatred in relation to your weight or what you eat? Do you experience periods of depression because of your inability to control your eating behavior? Do you ever feel anxious if you do not have certain foods available to you? Finances: How much money do you spend on food that you use for bingeing, overeating, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings? How much money have you spent on diet books, diet supplements, diet foods, consultations with weight loss professionals, and seldom used exercise equipment and gym memberships? Do you miss time at work because of health problems related to how you eat? Do you believe your weight prevents you from getting a promotion or new job? Are there times that you are not as productive at your job because of how you feel (emotionally or physically) in relation to what you did or did not eat? Relationships: Do you use your weight as an excuse to avoid relationships? Or, conversely, have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed no one else would want someone your size? Are people in your life inconvenienced by your food related emotional or physical problems? When you eat foods that zap your energy or make you feel ill, are you sometimes nasty, short, or cranky with family, friends, or co-workers? Sexual Experiences: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from having a satisfying sex life? Mental Clarity: Do you ever feel a bit dull or foggy in the brain because of the quantity or quality of food you eat? Activities: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from engaging in healthy, fun activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming, dancing, or playing with your children? Are simple activities of daily living like putting on your socks and shoes becoming increasingly difficult? Do you avoid certain social situations because you don’t want to be seen at your current weight or because you are afraid you will overeat? Time: How much time do you spend thinking about food or weight issues? How old were you when you first thought you had a problem with food or weight? How many years have you been dealing with this? How many precious moments of your life have you lost to your preoccupation with food and weight? The purpose of answering the preceding questions is to not elicit feelings of self-blame or harsh self-judgment but rather to increase your awareness of how your current weight and eating behaviors may be preventing you from living a normal, productive life. Understanding that what you eat affects your every physical, emotional, and mental experience can serve to increase your motivation to cultivate a healthy relationship with food. If you are still riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster you may have an addictive relationship with food. Addiction, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, is “the persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful”. Sound familiar? Studies have shown that compulsive overeating and drug addiction share many of the same biological characteristics. For instance, when people eat large quantities of sugar and fat they develop a tolerance for these substances and need more sugar and fat to satisfy them, much like alcoholics and drug addicts who, over time, require increased amounts of alcohol and drugs to get high. Other research has revealed that many obese people and drug addicts have a lower number of dopamine receptors (the feel good receptors) in their brains which make them more likely to crave things that boost dopamine like sugar, alcohol, cocaine or heroin. Also when some people are suddenly cut off from sugar and certain carbohydrates they experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, depression, irritability and strong cravings for the substance from which they are cut off, just like alcoholics and drug addicts do when they are detoxifying from alcohol or drugs. However; neither acknowledging the depth to which your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life nor understanding the biology of addiction will in and of itself cure your obsession or right your relationship with food. You may be thinking “Well I know how to eat well and what I need to do to lose weight.” Do you really? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. How many times have you gone on a diet proclaiming “This is it! I will never again be overweight! My eating behaviors have forever changed!!” only to find yourself starting a new diet the following Monday morning? Three, four, five or more times? Sounds like insanity to me! You may know how to diet and temporarily lose weight, but you have not made the internal psychological and emotional shifts necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with food and permanent weight loss. Moving from the insanity of a food and weight obsessed life to the serenity that a loving and respectful relationship with food affords you requires the willingness to consider a new way of thinking and being in the world. For many it requires learning to live a spiritual life. Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you will fall by the way side. On page 15 of “A Course in Weight Loss” Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritual growth is a fascinating process if you allow it to be. It is an inner journey from one insight to another, in which helpful realizations fall into place as you are ready to receive them. Twisted thoughts become untwisted once you see them for what they are. Your journey from blindness to spiritual vision precedes your journey from dysfunctional eating to a healthy and wholesome relationship to food; in fact it is a necessary prerequisite for it. As you understand more deeply the roots of your weakness you lay the foundation for the cultivation of new strengths.” To be continued.....

In re reading the following posts I think I need to add to my earlier post. If addiction, to food, alcohol, drugs or whatever was an issue prior to being sleeved then this would certainly increase likelihood of cross addiction. My post was very much written from the perspective of a non addict and it was remiss of me not to make that clear.

When I was pre-op and subsequently during the rapid weight loss part of my journey, I found the support right here on the forum to be priceless. To this day I'm surprised at how much I have learned as the result of others sharing their experiences. What I did not realize in the beginning is how important the support from the forum would be long term. After you're back to a regular diet. After you've reached your goal weight. After you've accomplished what you set out to accomplish. My weight stabilized at 155 over a year ago. My weight this morning was 153.6. There is not the slightest doubt in my mind that would not have been possible, or would have been much more challenging, without the ongoing motivation of the real life experiences I read almost every day on this forum. A constant reminder that future success, or failure, is always possible. Like alcoholism, obesity is never "cured". But we don't have to look any further than right here to know that it can be controlled. Alex, my sincere thanks for your insight and hard work in creating this amazing resource. And to every member on this forum, thank you for your unending support, advice, questions and sharing of your journeys so that we all can benefit. I'm lovin the new me every single day. And you all are a big part of that success. You guys are the best!

Thank you all so much for the encouragement. What a wonderful way to think. "Eating to live" instead of living to eat! I also appreciate that you mentioned that the diets failed me as Everyone feels like failures when they do no succeed in loosing weight and therefore you eat because you feel like a failure...at least I do. I am tired of living like that. I wish this surgery was available to my father when he was alive. He struggled and went on every diet you can imagine and finally lost weight but died a few months later at age 65. In my family food was given as comfort. As something that made you feel better and made you happy. As a reward and etc. so instead of drugs or alcohol I choose what comforted me in times of sadness and despair. The refrigerator became my best friend. I have lived in Louisiana only two years and came here from California under difficult circumstances. Because of that and my weight I rarely go anywhere and I do not have any friends. My only support is my husband of 42 years. But now the tides are turning and I have new friends.....all of you...I am so thankful to you all.

Well, first of all thank you greatly for bringing this subject up on this forum. From my perspective I can tell you that because of the surgery I do NOT believe it is a "blip." Obviously you felt strong enough about the issue to reach out to others for support and with that being said please allow me to tell you my journey, where I'm currently at with alcohol, and what measures I am taking going forward to help myself. I was sleeved 04/25/2013 and to be very honest, I had my first drink on 05/31/2013. I believed that because it was my "birthday" and I hadn't had a drink in 6 weeks, I was somehow justified. I can also tell you that prior to surgery I was a big social binge drinker however I also justified my actions then on the premise that it was only on the weekends and not during the week. Prior to surgery when I completed my required psychological evaluation, the Therapist was very clear with me in telling me that weight loss surgery patients are at an extremely high risk for alcoholism. Yes, I do believe this can be from basically swapping out your eating addiction however I also will tell you its more than likely due to some type of trauma that has happened in your life. I am now approximately 9 months out from surgery and I can tell you that my current alcohol consumption is spiraling out of control. I reached my goal weight at 6 months out and all but told myself I could keep drinking and it wouldn't hurt me much; that was and is a lie. Once your sleeved, alcohol not only has greater drunkenness effects on you, but also quicker damage happens to your liver and memory. I have now begun seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and I believe this is key. Talking about any level of addictions and or relationship struggles after surgery is HUGE! Most of us were NOT mentally prepared to take on this extreme life change and it is vitally important to talk through things with a professional. In the event you or anyone else on here can resonate with any of my entry here, please carefully seek out a therapist immediately. Do NOT wait like I did and then things become magnified. Thanks for allowing me to contribute.

I am not in agreement with the others. If a "true Mexican margarita" is your dream, I say get one, have a few sip, enjoy the heck out of them, then toss it. You should not see your surgery as an end to life and all of its enjoyments. It is the beginning of a life of moderation and very conscious choices. Why not start the day before surgery. It may be a while before your new tummy has any desire or tolerance for alcohol. Good luck on your trip!

I have wrote on here before about my marriage issues. I don't know where else to turn bc my friends and family want me to leave my husband A little background information, We are high school sweethearts that got reunited after my first marriage. He was the one that got away. But during that time he got addicted to marijuana. I always dabbled too, but it was more social for me. After a while, I started smoking 3, 4 times a day. My weight started going up and up. Finally I got it under control, but hubby has not My kids are now smelling it, it's causing major fights between us. Financially it's killing us too. My husband has left countless jobs, wrecked numerous cars and has a family history of alcohol ism and I see him going down that path too We fight constantly bc I keep trying to control everything, which then leads me exhausted mentally with my children. I feel my 11 year old gets the brunt of my lack of patience. I work 40 to 65 hours a week. I cook, clean, run all the errands while my husband sits back and does bare minimum. He is finally working in an amazing job, but surprise surprise he hates that too. He plans on leaving in a year when he gets called for another job. However, this job drugs tests. When I write this all out, I feel like the answer is to leave. Well have him leave. We have been going to therapy for over 4 years and he has made very little change. I don't know what to do. I feel so good about myself. I lost over 120lbs. I got my plastics too. Everything is great but my marriage. I gave him an ultimatum It's us or the drugs. But if it's not the pot then it will be alcohol. I just need help from other married folks. Should I get divorced again, should I try to make this work. I do love him but not all the drama he brings to the table. Thank u for letting me vent

Thank you so much for sharing that article. It answered all the questions I had about "slider" foods. I'll guess I'll have to put them on the list of "things I just cannot have again". I'm an all or nothing type of person who KNOWS--like an alcoholic cannot have a sip of alcohol ever again---I CANNOT have just a tiny bite of some foods. Oh well. Life is good. I'm enjoying being able to move with less pain--so I can forgo certain things in order to be able to move with less pain.

First off, I am sorry for your troubles. What a crappy turn of events for you to have to deal with. Secondly, a week of heavy drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic. I would not see this as addiction, more of a blip. Not surprising given what you are going through. What jumps out to me, what I think is really fantastic, is that you recognise that this isn't okay behaviour and you are reaching out for help. That says to me that you are definitely not going to let this rule your life or your recovery. I would urge you to see someone, a professional, to talk through what you are going through and to help give you some tools you can use to manage the pain without having to turn to alcohol as a mask for it. You are doing wonderfully, this past week is just showing you that you are human and you are vulnerable. We all are. What you are going through sucks and it is not surprising that your ability to make good choices is not so much at the forefront of your mind right now. Don't beat yourself up about this past week, go see someone who can help you manage the pain without needing the wine. I wish you all the best.

Addiction is addiction, you have swapped one for the other which is not uncommon, there are many folks that slip on this path. I am sorry for your recent troubles, it seems when it rains it pours in regard to personal problems and you are not alone in this predicament. First of all, don't let your ex-fiancé determine your success or your future. Put down the alcohol and take a sober look at your present predicament. He has taken away a lot from you by "dumping" you but he can't take away your determination and self-esteem unless you let him. Decide what you want...to lie down and let him win or stand up for yourself and let this process change your life for the better so you can win. Get another job...any job to see you through for a while. You can find your dream job later... what you need now is income. See if a relative or a friend can put you up until you can save a little money to get you on your feet. Life has roadblocks and detours for everyone, very few people follow a path of roses and sunshine. You have undergone this major surgery to make your life better, please don't sabotage it by giving up. Sending you healing hugs and offering up prayers for you to find the strength to do what you need to do. You have a wonderful support group here. Please use it .

Has anyone struggled with drinking too much after getting sleeved? My fiancé dumped me right after I was sleeved. Subsequently, I lost my career since he owned the business I worked for and I also have to move in a month. I went 4 weeks with out a drink but then I had wine and tolerated it fine, and have been drinking way too much the past week to mask the pain of everything going on in my life right now. Please private message me if you are...I could use some help here.

Read this on another WLS forum.... Slider Foods Spell Weight Regain For Weight Loss Surgery Patients By Kaye Bailey For most people eating sliders is a good thing. Popularized by the American food chain, White Castle, a slider (originally slyder) is a miniature grilled hamburger or cheeseburger on a steamed bun often served with onions and dill pickle and other condiments. They originally sold for a nickel a piece in the 1940s making it affordable to add a side of fries for just pennies. By all accounts this is a good kind of "slider" food. To the weight loss surgery patient slider foods are the bane of good intentions and ignorance often causing dumping syndrome, weight loss plateaus, and eventually weight gain. Slider foods, to weight loss surgery patients, are soft simple processed carbohydrates of little or no nutritional value that slide right through the surgical stomach pouch without providing nutrition or satiation. The most innocent of slider foods are saltine crackers, often eaten with warm tea or other beverages, to soothe the stomach in illness or while recovering from surgery. The most commonly consumed slider foods include pretzels, crackers (saltines, graham, Ritz, etc.) filled cracker Snacks such as Ritz Bits, popcorn, cheese snacks (Cheetos) or cheese crackers, tortilla chips with salsa, potato chips, sugar-free Cookies, cakes, and candy. You will notice these slider foods are often salty and cause dry mouth so they must be ingested with liquid to be palatable. This is how they become slider foods. They are also, most often, void of nutritional value. For weight loss surgery patients the process of digestion is different than those who have not undergone gastric surgery. When slider foods are consumed they go into the stomach pouch and exit directly into the jejunum where the simple carbohydrate slurry is quickly absorbed and stored by the body. There is little thermic effect in the digestion of simple carbohydrates like there is in the digestion of Protein so little metabolic energy is expended. In most cases patients in the phase of weight loss who eat slider foods will experience a weight loss plateau and possibly the setback of weight gain. And sadly, they will begin to believe their surgical stomach pouch is not functioning properly because they never feel fullness or restriction like they experience when eating protein. The very nature of the surgical gastric pouch is to cause feelings of tightness or restriction when one has eaten enough food. However, when soft simple carbohydrates are eaten this tightness or restriction does not result and one can continue to eat, unmeasured, copious amounts of non-nutritional food without ever feeling uncomfortable. Many patients turn to slider foods for this very reason. They do not like the discomfort that results when the pouch is full from eating a measured portion of lean animal or dairy protein without liquids. Yet it is this very restriction that is the desired result of the surgery. The discomfort is intended to signal the cessation of eating. Remembering the "Protein First" rule is crucial to weight management with bariatric surgery. Gastric bypass, gastric banding (lap-band) and gastric sleeve patients are instructed to follow a high protein diet to facilitate healing and promote weight loss. Bariatric centers advise what is commonly known among weight loss surgery patients as the "Four Rules" the most important of which is "Protein First." That means of all nutrients (protein, carbohydrates, fat and alcohol) the patient is required to eat protein first. Protein is not always the most comfortable food choice for weight loss surgery patients who feel restriction after eating a very small amount of food. However, for the surgical tool to work correctly a diet rich in protein and low in simple carbohydrate slider foods must be observed. The high protein diet must be followed even after healthy body weight has been achieved in order to maintain a healthy weight and avoid weight regain. Kaye Bailey 2010 - All Rights Reserved

B-52 I strive and pray every day to get to where you are. Bandista, yes, it really is freeing. And Karen, YES! I absolutely agree we are like alcoholics. I do come from a family of dependent of something people. It is a struggle most days. Thank you so much for the encouragement! People like you and others on this site are a true God send. Thank you.

So i went out with friends last night. Amazing time. I have had alcohol in the past wine makes me a little tipsy, beer just makes me full... Last night we had a cream type wine and some shots before we went to the bar. OMG I didn't know if I was going to be able to walk down the stairs to the car! I'm such a light weight now. It was a fun tipsy feeling and once I was at the bar I switched to water. Danced for 2 hours and had a blast! One of my friends said I looked like a cute little barbie doll last night. haha made my night!