Search the Community

Many people don’t understand the obese person’s journey with food. Nor can they relate to actually being under the influence of the intense food cravings, but ask any alcoholic or drug addict what these cravings feel like, and a food addict will be able to recount a very similar craving. The substance most craved with food addicts is sugar, and anyone who has tried to remove sugar from their diet knows how incredibly difficult that can be. The majority of food addicts have been brought up with another addiction. Maybe their parents were alcoholics, abusive, gamblers, smokers or hoarders. The child learned it was safer to turn to food or some other substance for comfort, because turning to a human for a hug or soothing words was impossible. Many food addicts lose weight to get married, only to find that they don’t have the skills to communicate loneliness, boredom, or anxiety to their partner. They slowly begin to turn to what has helped soothe them in the past, which is food. Before long, communication is compromised in the relationship. There is severe weight gain, which begins a disastrous cycle of withdrawing from sex, and turning to food. Soon the partner isn’t happy and the food addict feels shameful and guilty. These feelings of guilt and shame lock the cycle of turning to food even more securely. Weight loss surgery can help minimize disease and help people become more confident and mobile, but if there is an underlying sugar or food addiction, the weight will be re-gained. Sometimes that is in excess of eighty pounds. How can you help if you are addicted, married or know a food addict during the holidays? The key is to plan now. Realize that your partner or friend has a bigger problem than just eating too much. They need professional help, and they need it now. Find out who is on your plan for insurance and what it allows for help with eating disorders. Begin journaling your intake and talk to your partner about journaling theirs as well. This helps you become a team and to feel supported. Encourage your partner to begin turning to you for comfort or if you are alone, have someone who can accompany you to the party. Stay close to them, and when you feel alone turn to them for conversation or hold their hand. This helps delay your sense of needing food. Help them join a food addiction group, and if they are your partner, go with them if they need your support. There are several in Houston, and “Over Eaters Anonymous” offers a 12-step program for food addicts. Your partner suffers shame and guilt every day. Try to remember this, and be gentle. There is a lot of secrecy in this disorder. If they let you in, respect that. Food addicts are hurt, and we as a society can become part of the problem or part of the solution. Most addicts of food (and other addictions) have an enabler. The enabler complains about the behavior, but also supplies the fix. People who are co-dependent or have a low self-esteem may derive their security from enabling an addict. If you live with a food addict, or you suffer a food addiction, the best thing you can do prior to going to the party or being with friends where a lot of food will be present is to have a plan. Set a time limit for yourself at the party and have someone you are accountable to who helps you stay on track. –Mary Jo Rapini *As with all addictions, interventions only work if the addict wants to heal. Harping, nagging and pleading will be met with resistance to change until the addict is ready to make the change.

Know this: If you stop and listen to yourself... I mean really listen... you will always know how to act in a way that honors your Highest Good. You will always know the next right thing to do! (Isn’t that coooool? You already have all the answers inside you... It really is exciting if you think about it!) I believe we are all born these perfect little psychic bundles of love. As infants, if we’re happy we laugh, sad we cry, hungry we eat, full we stop eating. We are our Truth in every moment and have no fear about expressing who we are or how we feel. In fact, we don’t know how not to take care of ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us to not ask, or for that matter demand, that our needs be met. But soon after our birth, we begin receiving millions of messages that it is not okay or safe to express our Truth, to follow the natural flow of our Soul’s Wisdom, to ask for what we need. These messages come in the form of statements like— “Ooohh, stop crying!” “That didn’t hurt.” “Big boys don’t cry!” “Children should be seen but not heard.” “That was a stupid thing to say.” “I don’t care what you want to do; you need to do what I tell you to do.” “Never let other people know that our family is not perfect” “You can’t possibly be hungry now.” Or maybe the messages took on a physical form and you were beaten when you expressed a feeling or spoke out of line, or even for no apparent reason. Over time after being bombarded with messages like these, even though many of them may have been said with the best of intentions, you stop looking inward for guidance; you learn to silence your sacred voice of wisdom. Then one day someone comes along and asks you, “What color is the sky?” And you think, “Well, I think it’s blue, but I don’t know if what I think or feel about the sky is right because the other day I heard my parents arguing and I asked Mommy what was wrong and she told me that nothing was wrong, everything was just fine... but it didn’t feel fine to me, it felt like my parents were really angry, like something wasn’t right with them... but Mommy who is the expert about life said everything was “OK”... so something must be wrong with the way I think or perceive things... so maybe the sky is really purple or green... Ahhhh I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do... I think it is blue, but I am not sure if that really is the right answer, or if it is the answer they want... “I just wish I knew what they wanted me to say.” This thought process is the beginning of you disconnecting from your inner voice, your Divine Wisdom. This is where you get lost. When you are unable to say your Truth, or live from Source Energy, you will inevitably notice some emotional and/or physical discomfort which typically manifests as anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, nausea, exhaustion, sleeplessness, chronic headaches, joint pain, or intestinal distress. In order to calm down those feelings you may have learned to turn to things outside of yourself for comfort like food, drugs, alcohol, people pleasing, shopping, or compulsive work. Well, it’s time for you to come home to Yourself!! Before you can change a behavior you have to be aware that it exists. Below I have listed signs of "disconnection." Indications of Disconnection from Your Authentic Self * You worry about what other people think of you. * You over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription medications more than you would like to get through a day. * You are always the peace maker. * You find it difficult to say “no” to people or set boundaries. * You are the “life of the party” to your family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed. * You seemingly “have it all” but still feel an uncomfortable emptiness, like something is just missing from your life. * You feel disappointed with the way your life has turned out so far. * You are regretful about things that happened in your past. * You are afraid to make changes in your life. * You feel responsible for the happiness of others. * You spend most of your day tending to the needs of others. * Your days are so busy that you find yourself being really forgetful and making silly mistakes. * Your mood is dependent upon the mood or actions of others. * You worry a lot. * You gossip. * You have an underlying feeling of unworthiness. * You are in an abusive relationship (you may be the abuser or the abused). * Your self worth is determined by the “things you have”, the money you make, the number on the scale, the position you hold at your job, or the success of your children or spouse * You avoid disagreements at all costs... or * You argue all the time. * You are uncomfortable with silence. * You feel like you are always “putting out fires” or living in constant chaos. * You feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around significant people in your life. * You are afraid to speak up for yourself. * You often feel anxious, depressed, angry, or sad. * You have a low tolerance for or feel very judgmental of people who have opinions or values that differ from yours. * You feel like you always have to defend or explain yourself. * You have difficulty accepting compliments. * It is very difficult for you to look in a mirror, directly into your eyes, and say, “I love you! You are the most important person in the world to me and I am going to take good care of you!’” ____ _______________________________________________________ Notice if there is a time this week when you act from a place of disconnection, when you choose to not listen to your Intuition. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to ignore your Inner Voice. Take some time to reflect on how you may have learned to disconnect from your Authentic Self. Also, notice a specific time this week when you did listen and respond in accordance with your Intuition, when you felt like you were being your True Self. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to “Be Your Truth.” How was your experience different when you acted from a “place of disconnect” versus when you acted in accordance with your Inner Wisdom or Truth?

Know this: If you stop and listen to yourself... I mean really listen... you will always know how to act in a way that honors your Highest Good. You will always know the next right thing to do! (Isn’t that coooool? You already have all the answers inside you... It really is exciting if you think about it!) I believe we are all born these perfect little psychic bundles of love. As infants, if we’re happy we laugh, sad we cry, hungry we eat, full we stop eating. We are our Truth in every moment and have no fear about expressing who we are or how we feel. In fact, we don’t know how not to take care of ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us to not ask, or for that matter demand, that our needs be met. But soon after our birth, we begin receiving millions of messages that it is not okay or safe to express our Truth, to follow the natural flow of our Soul’s Wisdom, to ask for what we need. These messages come in the form of statements like— “Ooohh, stop crying!” “That didn’t hurt.” “Big boys don’t cry!” “Children should be seen but not heard.” “That was a stupid thing to say.” “I don’t care what you want to do; you need to do what I tell you to do.” “Never let other people know that our family is not perfect” “You can’t possibly be hungry now.” Or maybe the messages took on a physical form and you were beaten when you expressed a feeling or spoke out of line, or even for no apparent reason. Over time after being bombarded with messages like these, even though many of them may have been said with the best of intentions, you stop looking inward for guidance; you learn to silence your sacred voice of wisdom. Then one day someone comes along and asks you, “What color is the sky?” And you think, “Well, I think it’s blue, but I don’t know if what I think or feel about the sky is right because the other day I heard my parents arguing and I asked Mommy what was wrong and she told me that nothing was wrong, everything was just fine... but it didn’t feel fine to me, it felt like my parents were really angry, like something wasn’t right with them... but Mommy who is the expert about life said everything was “OK”... so something must be wrong with the way I think or perceive things... so maybe the sky is really purple or green... Ahhhh I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do... I think it is blue, but I am not sure if that really is the right answer, or if it is the answer they want... “I just wish I knew what they wanted me to say.” This thought process is the beginning of you disconnecting from your inner voice, your Divine Wisdom. This is where you get lost. When you are unable to say your Truth, or live from Source Energy, you will inevitably notice some emotional and/or physical discomfort which typically manifests as anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, nausea, exhaustion, sleeplessness, chronic headaches, joint pain, or intestinal distress. In order to calm down those feelings you may have learned to turn to things outside of yourself for comfort like food, drugs, alcohol, people pleasing, shopping, or compulsive work. Well, it’s time for you to come home to Yourself!! Before you can change a behavior you have to be aware that it exists. Below I have listed signs of "disconnection." Indications of Disconnection from Your Authentic Self * You worry about what other people think of you. * You over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription medications more than you would like to get through a day. * You are always the peace maker. * You find it difficult to say “no” to people or set boundaries. * You are the “life of the party” to your family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed. * You seemingly “have it all” but still feel an uncomfortable emptiness, like something is just missing from your life. * You feel disappointed with the way your life has turned out so far. * You are regretful about things that happened in your past. * You are afraid to make changes in your life. * You feel responsible for the happiness of others. * You spend most of your day tending to the needs of others. * Your days are so busy that you find yourself being really forgetful and making silly mistakes. * Your mood is dependent upon the mood or actions of others. * You worry a lot. * You gossip. * You have an underlying feeling of unworthiness. * You are in an abusive relationship (you may be the abuser or the abused). * Your self worth is determined by the “things you have”, the money you make, the number on the scale, the position you hold at your job, or the success of your children or spouse * You avoid disagreements at all costs... or * You argue all the time. * You are uncomfortable with silence. * You feel like you are always “putting out fires” or living in constant chaos. * You feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around significant people in your life. * You are afraid to speak up for yourself. * You often feel anxious, depressed, angry, or sad. * You have a low tolerance for or feel very judgmental of people who have opinions or values that differ from yours. * You feel like you always have to defend or explain yourself. * You have difficulty accepting compliments. * It is very difficult for you to look in a mirror, directly into your eyes, and say, “I love you! You are the most important person in the world to me and I am going to take good care of you!’” ____ _______________________________________________________ Notice if there is a time this week when you act from a place of disconnection, when you choose to not listen to your Intuition. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to ignore your Inner Voice. Take some time to reflect on how you may have learned to disconnect from your Authentic Self. Also, notice a specific time this week when you did listen and respond in accordance with your Intuition, when you felt like you were being your True Self. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to “Be Your Truth.” How was your experience different when you acted from a “place of disconnect” versus when you acted in accordance with your Inner Wisdom or Truth?

Thanks for the support guys I really appreciate it. And it is Kelly with a y M2 I think a friend is hosting a superbowl party - I am sure it will be a festival of bad for us food so I will do my best to prep for hubby and myself. It is very exciting for our teams to be competing! Best of luck to your Bronco's and I hope that my team will do well - I think it will be quite a show with our strong defense going against your powerful offense. We both know we display seriously addictive behaviors with food - this dysfunction runs in both of our families with obesity, drug and alcohol and co-dependency issues. I have felt better since my venty post - The house is cleaned out of crap and I have had a bit of a mental reboot - I tend to go right to the place where I feel that I am a failure even when I have had incredible success, even though I have yet to hit that elusive goal weight, I need to work on telling myself that I am till a success! Hard work. My husband works out lke a demon an hour a day - 6 days a week. He runs on the treadmill like a contestant on the biggest loser at 16 weeks in, he can run at a full on sprint which he can maintain for quite a while - it is freakishly impressive. I have an old friend from NYC that I met when I lived in the city - she had/has a serious issue with sugar - we would go to the magnolia bakery in the west village and she would order 5 massive pieces of cake - eat them all and then workout like a madman every day so she could eat that way - she looks very fit. I have seen this woman buy two carrot cakes and skin them of their cream cheese frosting like a wild animal. Brent, my husband has said that he is on the "Kendall" plan lol. He tends to follow my lead and I can get militant with keeping our home safe with good foods so I know things will get back to normal. The good thing is experiencing the crazy food thing over the holidays and coming out the other side - I will prepare accordingly. It starts to get rough in September with the kickoff of all of the family females birthdays, each one of us has a birthday mid-month September, October, November, and then we are well into holiday season. So the fall/winter third of the year, when comforty foods and food focused socializing gets going and the weather gets cold and rainy and blah is when it gets harder for me. I think OA is something I will like - I think that one reason that the lapse of our normal program of nutrition and exercise has been so scary is feeling out of control again. It isn't just about the lbs..the weight is the symptom. I spent so long with my head buried in the sand and not taking responsibility for my health that feeling a loss of control is frightening. My resolution for the year has been to work on my resilience....Clarity is another one that seems to be presenting itself again and again. It feels as if I am learning to be a better advocate for myself - with my health, my job (which more and more I realize is a corrupt system - academic/adjuncts, which I wont be able to change.) Healing and mindfulness for all of us Thank you guys for your kind words and thoughts.

I think this is the most important episode for anyone looking into having WLS or for anyone who has already had it. WLS is NOT a magic solution. I've noticed many of the showcases on this show start out thinking that, then they get smacked upside the head with reality. Some face the demons and straighten it out - while others, like last night's Penny contain their pacifiers. Living with a co-dependent person such as herself and her husband is a detriment to truly beating any addiction. Whether it be drugs, alcohol or in this case food. IMHO, anyone who has become obese has some element of food addiction. How can they not? Until everyone in that position embraces this fact, they will always fall off the wagon (including myself). She was playing his love for her against him, and he fell for it hook, line and sinker. He likes the life they're living, based on some of his commentary on the show. He expressed that he hoped she didn't expect all of them to eat on a diet. He is complete denial too. I was in awe at how much! I couldn't believe the excuses coming out of both of their mouths. They truly do live in a "fantasy world". Someone on my FB mentioned that she revised to RnY. If that's true then she's getting a second chance and I pray she gets it right this time. However, it's not likely because she thinks all of her troubles will be over by fixing her stomach. It's really our brains we need to work on simultaneously.

I was told NO alcohol...like EVER! one sip and you will be on your butt because your body cannot tolerate it, beside the wasted calories... if you haven't started, I say DON'T... your doctor may be different, but there are no benefits from alcohol... you may want to wait until after your birthday to have it done if you are intent on partying like that...

Oh ok! How much have you lost so far?! I think everyone hits that same stall! I stalled for like 15 days and havent drank anything yet. I set a goal of 60 days for myself lol I was sleeved on 12/20. And theres no way I plan on giving up alcohol forever, beer maybe. Have you gotten drunk? Or just had a drink or two here and there?

Anyone who believes that this was an easy way out for us needs their heads examined!! I struggle EVERY day with my food demons. They are still there...I fight to keep them at bay. I certainly understand the drug addict or the alcoholic...except we still have to eat!!

The products are by Nutritional Frontiers. It's a protein shake in the morning with a scoop of Pro Greens in the shake. The pills you take are called Liv Cleanse II. Then you follow a diet cutting out gluten, caffeine , bread, dairy, peanuts, alcohol and whole list of others. It's to detox the liver of and heavy chemical, metal, or toxins. I have been on a ton of meds since 2009 and I think I would really benefit from this. We will see.

My doc told me i couldn't ever have alcohol again and that I couldn't even cook with it. Doesn't effect me though because I don't ever do either of the two.

Not that I'm proud of it and don't want to seem like an alcoholic but I've been drinking just two weeks post op. I can't remember the guideline, but it was more explained to me as an empty calorie drink and since you're not eating/drinking that much at this time they wanted to shoot for maximum weightloss. I can't do anything carbonated, well maybe a sip or two of my finances beer. Usually I pass whatever I'm drinking over to him to finish anyways (more to save calories and that I really no longer want that much. Tolerance has significantly decreased too which is a good thing right? I'm definitely not a good example and this is probably a contributing factor for the stalling of my weight loss. Above all else, follow your doctors recommendation above listening to people who cheat . (Banded 12/16)

for an obese person the right way is to never over eat... for an alcoholic the right way is to never take that first drink... for a drug addict the right way is to never try that first drug... and so on... but since we dont live in a perfect world... the right way is to survive and give other people the encouragement to do the same.... the right way for any one suffering from a disease is to go seek help... Do not let other peoples opinions override your own.... I chose to live... to be healthy.. to be active.. Who's life is it anyway?... its mines and I'm proud of my decision to have WLS... and if other people don't understand.... that's your issue not mine... [ATTACH]40518[/ATTACH]

Here's a quick review of one of my favorite candies. Russell Stovers Sugar Free Pecan Delights. I like these as an occasional treat, but not for everyday snacking. They do contain sugar alcohols and may cause gastric distress. When I first tried them, I was on the Atkins Diet. I learned the hard way, you shouldn't eat 6 of them at once. I was making a bee-line for the bathroom about 30 minutes later. :-P I don't recommend them to anyone that is still eating less than 1000 calories a day. If your caloric intake is that low, you need to pack as much nutrition into every bite as possible. And candy is not nutrition. If you like/dislike my videos, please thumb up or down, and leave a comment about how I could improve the content. Your input helps me become a better Youtuber. :-) Keep Pimpin' that Sleeve! Google Plus https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/102076899634252886094/102076899634252886094/posts/p/pub Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Frankensleeve-Vertical-Sleeve-Gastrectomy-VSG-Community/289332951205311 Twitter https://twitter.com/frankensleeve

Florinda sounds like HE is the confused one. I too would feel bowled over but you know he wasn't the one that brought you hope and all those things you said about him... being with him just helped you find that within. Hang onto THAT and let him just fade away. I took a gun safety and basic shooting class with my friend Mary today. Super fun, learned alot, and we are both good shooting students. Seattle Seahawks are going to the Super bowl!!! The sad freaked out I am sick over it news...My EX plans to live in his car. He made me promise not to tell people we know so I have to carry this burdensome knowledge. I am horrified and mad because he has options. He has reasons for his insanity but does it even matter? Counselor says I am in classic co dependant relationship but without the traditional alcohol addiction. Maybe that is why I feel guilty beyond reason.

Unfortunately I have no problem with alcohol. I work it into my daily calorie count and have a couple of glasses of wine in the evenings.

Hello my fellow Lap Banders: Today is the second day since Lap Band Surgery and what I see as a new way of life. After years of struggling with my weight, I finally made the decision on Lap Band surgery. I am 48 years old 5"7 and 260lbs. I am married to wonderful and supportive man and I have two teenagers ages 13 (girl) and 15 (boy). I am the only person in my family that is overweight. Kind of like Chris Christie, the government of NJ, I considered myself a "healthy" fat. I walk at least 2 miles 3 times a week and go to the gym once or twice a week. I have what I call "pre-diabetes" which is really just diabetes but it makes me feel better to call it "pre-diabetes". And, my blood pressure and cholesterol are within normal limits. With that all said, my reason for deciding on weight loss surgery is simple - I wanted to keep up with my family and their active lives. But more importantly, I wanted to feel better and be healthy both mentally and physically. Over the last two decades I've found that I can have a very addictive personality. food has always been a source of comfort for me. Two of my favorite foods are homemade biscuits and pancakes. My grandmother, God rest her soul, was a biscuit and pancake maker extraordinaire. So, of course, I have now perfected those recipes and serve to my family. They do enjoy these foods but not nearly like I do. My husband jokingly has said, "Those biscuits take you back to 1979 sitting at your grandma's kitchen table without care in the world except whether to use honey or jelly on those biscuits." Guess what? He is so right. Some of my fondest memories are in the kitchen with my Grandma - talking, laughing, cooking and of course eating. My second addiction started in high school, blossomed in college and brought me to my knees in 2008. I am a recovering alcoholic. I've been sober since May 2008. I went to my first AA meeting on May 24, 2008 and haven't had a drink since. I followed the 12 step program - got a sponsor, got sober and never felt better. If you know any thing about AA, it is not a program to make your stop drinking, it more about teaching you how to live a better life. It certainly changed my life. Of course there can be a downer to sobriety. Once the booze stops going in which is pure sugar most alcoholics develop a love for sweets. Some are satisfied with a small piece of candy or chocolate to curb the craving but not me. My sugar cravings extend to cakes, pies, Cookies, and anything chocolate. That is one of the reasons I chose lap band over gastric by pass. I was afraid that completely taking sugar from my diet would awaken my desire to drink. With the lap band, I could have a manageable amount of sweets without getting the "dumping" syndrome. So now, here I am. I find myself on day #2 following surgery slowly drinking a Protein shake and writing in my online journal about my lap band procedure. I just started this journey so I cannot offer anyone advice or uplifting comments. I can only say that I am glad to find this forum to talk with others that are going through what I'm going through now. My husband took a before picture of me the day I was leaving home for surgery. I will post if I get up nerve. Thank you to anyone who reads my story.

Thanks for sharing. I love wine and I can't wait to have my wine back in May 2014. Coming from a family of alcoholics I don't drink much - 5 out of 7 of us are alcoholics and three are dead because of it. My biggest fear is to become one myself. I do love my two glasses of wine on a Saturday night! I'm a cheap date - I have a very low tolerance to alcohol even before surgery. I hear it'll be even worse so my two glasses of wine may have to be cut to one. I only drink at home so I'll be safe enough there. If we go out I'm the designated driver. :-)

This thread is going to be very embarrassing for me, but I've talked to ALOT of women who are 8 or more years out on this subject, wished I'd of talked to them sooner!!! Before surgery I was warned OVER AND OVER again about alcohol!!!..did I listen, NOOOOOOooo. I was going to be the ONE who drank like she did before, This is the ONLY issue I REFUSED to listen to, I didn't want my surgeon or the PhD's to get in my 'Cup'. I did give up beer, only because of the carbonation, but what was I thinking, I wasn't!! About a year out, I thought I was safe, I was a miraculous 115 lbs, entering 'Maintenance" , had my Vitamin regiment down pat. blah blah blah. Feeling accomplished. BARTENDER!!! vodka martini please!!! first one, feeling good, whooo hooo...did a body check, no pain in the pouch, cool, BARTENDER!!! Vodka martini Please!!! People, I don't even remember leaving the establishment I was in. I opened one eye, head pounding and my husband standing at the foot of the bed shaking his head!!!..OH GOD!! what did I do!!!...well apparently not much. One minute I'm sitting there socializing, next second, I'm on the floor. I was a complete puddle, he carried me to the car and poured me in. out like a light!!!..I consider that episode a fluke, wont happen again, I'll drink something lighter DING! round 2: GNO aka: Girls Night Out. This time I decided I'd better get a strategy. I'd eat first. well this time I ordered my fave: White Wine..loveeee my wine, or I did. 1st glass, good, milder and lighter than the martini, slower to get a buzz. good strategy. yay me, figured it out. Drank a glass of Water in between, good, no pain in the pouch, not to buzzed. 2nd glass good, THIRD GLASS, BAM!!!! Hit me like a tone of bricks, this time I didn't fall out, but my buzz factor incapacitated me, I knew I couldn't get up and walk. crap! I whisper to my gal pal, to take me home. EMBARRASING!!! ok fine, I get it, I don't need round 3 to teach me anymore lessons, I'm not hard headed. But I do miss hitting the Vino till 2 A.M. So I do have 2 glass on whatever with a water back, and call it a night, or if its a dinner party, I drink water for the rest of the night, I mourned, and still mourn my 7-8 glasses of vino on GNO'S. thanx for listening, embarrassing as that was.

I understand how his words can be very discouraging for you. I asked my adult son if he thought I was a failure for having weight loss surgery. His first comment was "Where is that question coming from?" I responded that I was wondering how my family and friends were looking at my choices. His answer was, " Do you think I was a failure for going to rehab for alcohol abuse?" I opened my mouth to respond and stopped. Then all I could say when the light went off in my head was "touché". I too must realize I have an addiction problem and will be working the rest of my life to contain my addiction and my WLS is just a tool in my arsenal. I must make this journey about me and working hard to be the best, healthy, and happy me. I hope that you too can realize it doesn't matter how you get to your goal but that you got to your goal. You go girl.

I am not an alcoholic. I never had a drug or alcohol problem. But I've had plenty of other dangerous addictions and I also happen to work next door to a building where AA meetings are held. It's always easy to spot the newbies. They are the ones with their heads held down in shame refusing to make eye contact with anyone. The vets, if you will, some of who go several time a week, some that I've talked to for over 20 years, go in with their heads held high like they just can't wait to get the show on. I think it's interesting so I watch. I see this 3 times a day 4 days a week. Mostly the same people with new ones thrown in here and there. As an outsider I can tell you the only thing that goes through my mind each and every time I see a meeting about to start is, good for them. Because I know how hard it is to actively seek help and actually benefit from it. Get help. People really do care and it really does make a difference. No body will judge you. They will hold your hand and walk you through it. I've seen it and I commend it. I have nothing but respect for the addicts that go to these meetings. I think they must be the bravest people on earth.

I had my band placed in 2006 and there were no Protein shakes & eat this & eat that. I was told to cut my meals in 1/2 & chew, chew, chew. I did not eat bread for a year (my own choice.) and no pealings (apple, baked potato, tomato, hot dog skin, etc.) Small sips of Water & up, up, up the quantity. Eat protein 1st, vegetables 2nd and fruit 3rd. I was told to "listen" to my band, not to drink a beverage with my meal & forget soda pop & alcohol. I never had Bander Hell, but then I was off sugar products because of my borderline diabetes, so I didn't have to come down from a sugar high. I love my lap band. It has saved my life!

My point was that I didn't have an alcohol problem. I never woke up needing a drink or drunk when stressed nor met any of the other qualifications for alcoholism. Yet like the pysch doctors it sounded like it. To me it was all part of socializing and being young. Anyways bottom line IMO there is no clear way to be certain in the evaluation process to say if someone is stable or ready for WLS from only one meeting. After surgery I absolutely believe therapy would be of great help. I plan on seeking out me a new counselor. One of the friends mention cousin had WLS. She lost all her weight and was determined never to regain it again. She turned to diet pills, and alcohol to deal with not dealing with her body dysmorphia and later died of liver failure. So I know transfer addictions are real, can and do happen. I just don't believe Presurgical psychological evaluation is a indicator of being ready for WLS. Change it to post-surgical mandatory counseling.

hrlaurie: I had an acquintance who did replace food with alcohol after surgery, but he was a heavy drinker before surgery, failed his psych clearance and went to South America to get the surgery anyway. Not a wise choice. I don't think if you are not a heavy drinker you would use alcohol later as a crutch but everyone if different. This surgery is as much about our minds as it is about the physical aspects. Already on my pre op diet I have had to deal with the desire to run to food to relieve stress, and not being able to. We will all have to find other outlets for comfort that we have previously used food for. Hopefully, we can find healthy ones - exercise, community work, hobbies, etc. For me, food was always the main event. When the wife and I decide to go on a date night, it always started with or ended up in a restaurant, with huge portion of bad stuff. That is going to change, and it won't be easy. But we will do it!

Same here B-52, no one's business! Truth is, no flour, bread, rice, Pasta, alcohol, cokes, sweets, sugar, etc. in my house equals weight loss LOL!!!!

Every one is different. We are all unique. It is true that there are those that can pick themselves up from their bootstraps and resolve their issues on their own. It is also true that not all counseling is good. I have experienced that also. However, I will offer this. I would say that the large majority of us are considering WLS because we have NOT been able to do it on are own. If we could, what would we be doing here? I mean no offense, but is it reasonable for a psych to consider excessive alcohol a problem, one that could benefit from counseling? I think so. Can someone take care of it on their own? I guess so, but most do not. I have seen it time and time again. With respect to WLS, I saw first hand an acquaintance with a habit of drinking socially swap out his food addiction with drinking and become an alcoholic after surgery. If you are one of those that can deal with this on your own, more power to you. But is it reasonable for a pysch to be concerned for you and ask you to get counseling, knowing that you already have an issue with food that has caused you to seek the help of others to correct it? Absolutely!