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"Way out." Who cares what KIND of way out it is, it's a way out! I'm 23, and I can honestly say I probably have done 'every diet known to man' like so many of the other people on the boards, but if I know in my heart that the diets I DID try didn't work, and most diets are pretty close to the same anyway, why would any of the other ones work for me when they failed so many others? This surgery was an option for me to do SOMETHING when I was doing NOTHING. I'm going to be blunt and say that if your husband says he's going to leave you for this, and he's not bluffing, he was going to leave you for something anyway. I'm not trying to say that your marriage is over by anymeans, the only details of it know are what you've written here, but I'm sure you get the jest of what I'm saying. Someone can be not-supportive, kind of neutral, without being unsupportive... if that makes any kind of sense. I'm glad you made your appointment. Maybe when he really sees that you are REALLY serious, he'll listen to you a little more?

Ok, I have to vent a little then I am going to get over this. This weekend I went on a river float trip with two of my friends from work. One is a doc in the ER with me and another is a nurse, also from the ER. They both know about my surgery and since it has been almost a year since I had it done, it seems like it should be a non-issue. Maybe it was just me, but all weekend seemed to be full of these little comments from them...."is that all you are going to eat?" "oh, I suppose you are full already", "you pick where we are going to eat, you are the one with restrictions" Mostly, I tried to just ignore them, but it really SUCKED! On the way home, we were talking about where to stop for lunch. I asked if either of them had tried a place called Noodles & Co (new to our area) then I told them that my son and I had eaten there and it was really good. I also said that they had really big portions, meaning that you get alot for your money. My friend said "to you EVERYTHING is a big portion" I just stopped talking at that point and wanted to go home. They are my friends, and I know that they really don't want to hurt my feelings, but it makes me not want to go out to eat with anyone because I am worried about what they will say or think about what I am eating and THAT is where I was before I had my surgery. I am going on a 9 day vacation with both of them in September, I think I am going to have to have a frank discussion with them about this before then or it will be a miserable trip. Ok - enough of the pity party. When I look at the big picture, its all good. I am so happy with my sleeve and my new life. Just had to vent a little to people that I knew would understand - now I feel better lol

Im scheduled july 30th!!To the ladies who have the unsupportive friends--these people are just ignorant and do not understand this process and what all it takes and the hard work involved. It takes really learning and educating yourself in order to understand how it all works. surround yourself with positive and supportive people because these are the people that will make a difference in your success!! Im really excited about having the surgery but scared as well. I dont trust myself with food so I have doubts too..but you have to find it in yourself to make it happen....and make it work.

I’m sorry your dad is being unsupportive. It’s always hardest to block out hurtful comments by those we love. Did you point out how much you’ve actually lost? It was early in the second month post surgery I think when a friend commented. I was wearing a more fitted dress that used to pull across my butt & tummy a bit in the past & now skimmed. I’d lost about 12kg ( 26lbs) in total. I was still wearing mostly the same clothes but they fit better. The only pieces that were verging on too big were those with proper waist bands everything else had elastic bands or drawstrings so could fit multi sizes. However, importantly, my staring weight was less than yours (based on what you want to lose) so it took less weight loss to see any difference. You’re losing weight from all over your body not just your torso. Try taking photos & body measurements - thighs, calves, upper & lower arms, waist, hips, breast & compare those too not just the scales & the size on your clothing tags. Remember the difference between one size & the next is usually 2 inches so, for e.g., your waist would have to be a good 2 inches smaller for you to need to drop a size (in a fitted waist outfit). General advice is if you lose about 10lbs you’ll drop a size but that really only applies to those in the healthy weight range & dropping say from a US size 12 - 10. If you’re smaller it takes less weight loss & vice versa. Your dad will be changing his thinking in another month or so. Keep up your great work.

WASA: Yes Rumbaut and Aceves may be good, but not necessarily the BEST. Here is a little something Rumbaut published not long ago (please read below). If your "global statistics" are hovering around 1% for erosion (quoting you: “Sadly, erosion does happen in about 1.3% of patients.” ) thenwhere does that put Rumbaut? (he did the study, 2.9% erosion).... how about slippage? Also 2.9%, how does that compare? Erosion is almost three times as much(2.9 to 1) as your "global statistics"? Not so good? And Quoting you: “There are docs with a 0.00016%** erosion stat vs. others who are seriously dangerous with a 3-4% erosion stat”. … But yet in another post you say: and I quote: “Personal opinion but I think Rumbaut and Aceves are the two best surgeons in Mexico.” Which is it bubblebutt? You have to make up your mind! Rumbaut’s statistics on erosion are one tenth of a percent from “Seriously Dangerous” and yet in your personal opinion he is among the best????? The problem is not Rumbaut's statistics Wasa, the problem is YOUR "global statistics". Rumbaut’s statistics are average (port infection is high though). You have been using a broken measuring stick. The information you have been giving readers on this subject is way off, and you refuse to admit it. Please do some real research WASA, unsupported statements cause more harm than good. If you want to post as a reliable source of information for fellow members, don't go by what you hear, hearsay is cheap and easy to come by, not so with true data on paper. The comparison between Rumbaut's published statistics and your claims only casts a shadow over any other "statistics" you may have posted elsewhere on this forum. Not very reliable..... You need to offer real statistics, all with tangible, published backup, not "someone told me". **By the way, FYI: .ooo16% erosion translates to one erosion for every 625,000 procedures, even you can’t seriously consider that!!! Obesity Surgery, 13, 275-280 The Lap-Band® System in a North American Population S. Ross Fox, MD; Katherine M. Fox, RN, MPH; Myur S. Srikanth, MD; Roberto Rumbaut, MD* The Medical Services Organization, Surgical Weight Loss Clinic, Tacoma, Washington, USA and *Hospital San Jose - ITESN, Monterrey, Mexico European and Australian results with laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding (LAGB) using the Lap-Band® (Inamed Health, Santa Barbara, CA) have been impressive, with over 100,000 procedures completed at this writing. However, prior to U.S. FDA approval in June 2001, U.S. patients had to travel out of the U.S. for this procedure. This study reports on a series of U.S. patients who requested off-shore referral for LAGB placement. Table 5. Complications Complications n (%) Dilatation/band slippage 2.9 Erosion 2.9 Port tubing leakage (disconnection) 2.9 Port infection 3.8 Band removed without revision 2.9 Revision to gastric bypass 1.9

My husband wasn't supportive with my band surgery. Now that I have to convert to RNY, he is really unsupportive. I was thinking sleeve, but I may as well go all the way this time as I should have before. He didn't attend any of my Dr. appts. or meetings. But as someone said, I will try my hardest to get him to come with me to the Dr. and have them explain my situation. Due to my health issues, this surgery is a necessity. Your Dr. can explain it to him better.

5'6" and 254 starting. 4½ months out, now 196. I'd be happy if I only lost 84lbs or so. I have 100lbs as my goal but I'd be happy even if it was less than that. I did tell friends and family, pretty open about it as people are curious. It's amazing the range of responses. Some people (who have been battling weight themselves for almost their whole adult life) were very UNsupportive. Can't believe I'd do something so "unnatural". And when I told them I was going to Mexico? Wow, they flipped their lids! I did not tell the coworkers because of the societal stigma of losing weight "the easy way" even though all of us on here know the truth about that and having 75% of your stomach removed isn't "easy". Like Nadoue, I told them high protein, low carb, cut out Diet Pepsi, some exercise and none of it is a lie. Would I do it again? Yup. Been a while since I've lost 57.5 lbs any other way - and the difference? This time I'm keeping it off!!! Good luck with your surgery!

Well, this whole thing has just gotten a lot more "real" for me. So I guess I'll start the "my story" part. I've been overweight my whole life. First diet as a pre-teen. Lots of family of origin stuff. Likely a similar story to a vast majority of the people here. I did pretty OK as an active "fluffy" woman for many years - did belly dance, went skiing, took Krav Maga... as someone else said here, I was healthy and doing well, until I wasn't. A knee injury ended up with a knee reconstruction and 18 months of rehab, then I decided to change careers (IT to nursing) and my weight started climbing through nursing school and my health started crumbling. First I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, then my irritable bowel flared up, then I had a reaction to a medication and ended up needing a heart procedure (all fixed). Then I graduated from nursing school, and thought the active job would help. Then aches and pains in joints, especially my feet, started me on a hunt for a diagnosis. Auto-immune arthritis changed everything for me. Without medication, I was rapidly approaching a point where I couldn't do my job as an ER nurse. With medication, I'm susceptible to infections, which doesn't bode well for a nurse, especially in the ER. I started treatment and left my dream job. Luckily, I have extensive IT experience and coupled with my RN and ICU/ER experience, I was able to transition into a healthcare informatics job. That's when I realized that the 13,000 steps per shift (3 times a week) was actually helping in relation to my weight, because the scale started trending up almost immediately after changing back to a desk job. Topped 300 lbs (which had been my "I will never let myself be that weight" weight) and I started seriously considering VSG. Discussed VSG with my rheumatologist who enthusiastically supported it. Now I'm going through the insurance hurdles. Met with the surgeon, very much liked her. Met with the nutritionist, who was about what I expected and had nothing new to offer me. This week I went back to my cardiologist to ask for surgery clearance. When he did my procedure 4 years ago, he wanted a followup stress test after a year. A couple of scheduling screw-ups (one on his staff, one on my part), several job/insurance changes, night shifts, and then the auto-immune stuff kept me from getting that done. However, in the ICU and ER I had many opportunities to offer myself as a test subject for people learning to do EKG's so I knew my heart was fine. Anyway, he was really encouraging about the surgery and scheduled me for a stress test next week so he can clear me ASAP. I meet with the doc in my surgeon's office who does her supervised diet followups, as my insurance requires 3 months of that silliness. My rheumy will write the required 2nd opinion that I need surgery, and then I need to get my therapist to clear me or if she won't (I'm seeing her for food issues, but she's mildly opposed to the surgery on principle) go see whoever my doc's office has. Since I already have sleep apnea and sleep with my CPAP, I don't need a sleep study. I swear, all of this nonsense is going to cost me hundreds of dollars in copays before we even get to the EGD and VSG. Luckily I've already almost met my deductible for the year. I feel like I'm in limbo right now, doing the insurance hoops dance to get approval. So it hasn't been feeling "real" but somehow felt so much more so when I met with my cardiologist. We're targeting early August for the surgery, and that seems so far away. But it's not, really. In some ways I'm incredibly lucky. I have a super supportive husband who loves me no matter what weight I am, but who will also do whatever he needs to support me in being healthier. He'd love to be more active than my current situation allows, and prefers to eat healthily. So I won't have him sabotaging me or being unsupportive. My closest friends (chosen family, really) are concerned because we know people who have had serious complications (and a couple for whom the surgery may have contributed long-term to their deaths) but they are also super supportive. I have a sister who had the VSG several years ago in S. Korea, and she's been pressuring me to have it ever since. Which is nice, but she's one of those people who are convinced her way is the only way, so it can also be very annoying. My Dad thinks I just need to buck up and eat right and exercise, and my Mom is worried that the complications my sister has had (not really related to the surgery, except in Mom's mind) and doesn't want me to do it. I have a good job that is not very physical, so my time off work will be minimized (I'm planning one week completely off, then working from home 1-2 weeks as needed) and my boss is super supportive. So really, I have everything I need. It'll be up to me to follow through with this and do what I need to do, in order to be healthy. And learn some patience until this summer.

I agree with poster above. While he will support you because it is what you want to do, surgery could be scary to him. It is drastic to have surgery to lose weight (not saying I don't believe in it). If he doesn't understand the procedure, he might be worried but not want to share it with you for fear of looking unsupportive. Remember in the late 90s there was a lot of news on the death rate of gastric bypasses (2.5%, and as high as 5%)....well, when I told my hubby that I was choosing this option, he responded the same way. He just thought all bariatric surgery was the same. Even with approval, he responded the same way. I couldn't get him to perk up. A friend of his had a sister who went though bariatric surgery and struggled to regain health. He choose not to educate himself and just had this horrible picture in his head that I was going to croak on the table. He even asked me for my life insurance information twice! I told him to stuff it, that the procedure was easier than a gall bladder removal and that knew because I work in the OR! He put on a strong face the day of surgery even though I could tell he was frightened. He perked up after surgery (when he saw that I didn't die) and has been supportive since. best of luck! I love my choice!

I really only had pain in my port incision when standing up, sitting down, or walking unsupported. Or the time 2 days post-op when we were driving to visit my parents and DH took a set of train tracks a little fast! When I was in a resting state I had no pain unless I had to cough or sneeze or something. So to me the amount of pain you're feeling is not normal, though to others it sounds like it is.

I haven't read the other responses yet but wow it sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of people who are rude and unsupportive. But you know what, their opinion doesn't matter. The only thing you can do is try to educate them with the facts. The facts are that almost everyone DOES lose weight with surgery, regardless. Only 5% of overweight people have success with traditional diet and exercise. People who have never considered surgery really have no clue, they want to point fingers at us, think we are weak, etc, but they just have no idea. This is a difficult decision to make and you are not weak, you are strong for being able to recognize that you need to do something to make a change even if it's something that is difficult. I'm glad your husband is supportive and I hope things work out well for you and if you need additional encouragement this is a great place to get it. :frown:

Sorry to hear about her reaction. Sometimes people show they love you in hurtful ways. Odds, are though, she loves you a lot and when you are on your way to a healthier path after surgery, she will see that and turn around. My husband was similarly unsupportive but now, 6 months out he sees how happy I am with the help I get from the sleeve. It's helped me to make real changes in my health. Unfortunately, she is not going to a great support person until and unless she does some research and you know what they say about horses and water. Just know you have great spurt on this forum! Good luck in your journey.

I am so sorry that you left feeling unsupported, I didn't read your post but will head there now. Please know that the intent of everyone on this board is to support and be supported. Hopefully we can give you what you need next time. Anna

I guess what my original post should have said was "my family will be unsupportive and I'm disappointed that they won't be there for me." Because everything you ladies have said hits home for me. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that it's ok to not want to include them in this.

I am probably one of the "over sharers " but it has been part of my internal transformation to let down walls... This has nothing to do with the OP question. I think you do need to protect yourself from the unsupportive people that first year or two....

*bows* My happiest duty is to provide laughter during such solemn times such as these. Once you reach goal, take a photo of yourself and send it to her with "I went to a filthy mexican doctor for a botched procedure and complications, and all I got was this lousy weight loss" captioned on the front. I haven't had an unsupportive relative yet because the only one I've told is me Mum. Who got quiet, acted rather distracted, and then hurried to get off the phone. She has since avoided my phone calls. :rolleyes

Only the homeopathic over the counter stuff was banned. The homeopathic stuff was deemed fraudulent as the companies made wild unsupported health claims, which is essentially what the fda regulates. True hcg is still used and widely available, and prescribed for many things from fertility to weight loss. My doctor had me try it several years ago and it really does work for short term weight loss. I lost 60 pounds in 60 days with it and the prescribed diet of about 400 calories per day. The hcg helped keep you full, although it was not sustainable once I was off the hcg, I was never once hungry while on it, and often ate much less than 400 calories without even trying, or becoming hungry what so ever. I ended up keeping the weight off for about 6 months and then it crept back on.

It breaks my heart to read so many threads about the awful things people have said to so many fellow bandsters. There are so many unsupportive and misinformed people out there who are raining on people's parades. I was so fortunate to have super supportive people around me when I announced my desire for the surgery and later when I actually had it done. I thought this could be a place where we could share all of the wonderful and positive things that are happening in our lives. I'll start . . . but I'd love to hear yours . . . - I went on vacation and lost 3 pounds instead of gaining 10. - I'm down 2 whole pant sizes. - I have more energy. - I'm happier. - I'm not a slave to Diet Coke or the drive-thru anymore. - I exercise. - I went to lunch with a group of ladies and ate the least out of everyone (never would have happened before). - I am starting to like my body. Can I just say that I L-O-V-E my band???!!!!????!!!!!! If I can do this, so can ANYONE. What are your positives right now???

I use a treadmill and recumbent exercise bike due to a back injury. I had surgery on my lumbar spine and so I can't sit unsupported (like a regular exercise bike) and also mini tramps and walkers, ellipticals etc are totally out. Unfortunately I know this by experience :drool: I think I would be totally brain dead if I didn't have music dvd's on. It not only gives me beat to walk to but something to look at! Course a new murder (which I haven't seen before) is good for quieter sessions :tongue2:

I'm so sad when I read about unsupportive family members bringing home or cooking tempting foods. I have to say I pretty much control the food in my home. I do the grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking. Having this control has really helped me avoid my trigger foods.

No one knows about my band 'cept my bandster support buddies and my hubby...My nosey mother is starting to be a pain in the ass, so I have told her basically portion control and exercise...I told her I literally let myself have two bites of anything I want - which is true. She is toxic and would have been unsupportive if I told her I had the band - and if she found out Mexico, she'd lose her miind!!! My relationship with her and the boundaries we've gotten comfortable with are too important to lose or screw up over the surgery...

My parents certainly aren't perfect, but after reading so many posts on here, I am so thankful that they are them. My Mom, Dad, and brother, along with my partner, have been my rock throughout this entire journey. To those with unsupportive families, I'm sorry. Do what you know is right for you and move forward with improving your health and your life. Ultimately we are responsible for our own health and happiness!

I'm not so sure but I'm begining to think that the majority of the "men" that don't have a problem with weight are unsupportive & smartass's when it comes to us. B'cuz my man although we aren't married he is the same way I cook for him everyday although most the time I don't eat because he is a beef eater and I can't eat beef....BUT never-the-less he knows that i've been trying really hard to meet my goal weight and lastnight he really up-set me....maybe I'm too sensitive but he's all the time telling me "you don't need to lose anymore weight, your fine how u are if i didn't like u big then I wouldn't be with u" well he knew that I had my surgery when we first got together to be smaller I didn't do this for him I did it for myself but lastnight we was talking about my doctor's appt. Monday I'm hoping I've lost atleast 20lbs when i go back but he just comes out of no-where and says "no I don't believe u've lost anything b'cuz if u had I would be able to pick u up and carry you"........that hurt my feelings because he knows I'm senstive ....and he's skinny so it doesn't matter what he eats or how much he eats......I just think that all men are unsensitive and smartass's to a certain extent....i'll get over this eventually....lol but I think that maybe we should be like them in certain cases....something that's really special or important to them that they are sensitive about just bash it like they do us at times......LOL i don't know I'm ramblin'.....but you wasn't at all hard on him he deserves for u to be angry with him...

Very few people know about my surgery. This was a hard enough thing to do without the possibility of unsupportive people and negative comments

Hello all! I am brand new to the boards and wanted to ask a few questions... 1. Has anyone had surgery w/Dr. Atkinson? If so tell me about him/it! 2. My insurance is being wonky and now telling me I have to have a second psych consult even though they passed me on the first one, has anyone dealt with something like this? 3. I have a desk job, how many days of recovery from the actual surgery will I need? (we were trying to get everything done so I could have the surgery on my vacation but b/c the insurance is being wonky that won't happen...) 4. Has anyone ever had a family member be super unsupportive? to the point where she won't even speak to me because I'm taking the "easy way out".... Thanks in advance! I hope to get a lot of answers/experience from this community and look forward to sharing my successes and struggles! "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston S. Churchill