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I'm up in Ventura County, have been banded for 6 1/2 years and would be happy to walk you through this process. In addition to this site you may want to check out Lap Band Support, Lap Band Forums and Information for some information about the process. If you can, bring your family either to an informational seminar withyou or to a surgeon's office visit with you so they can get their questions answered too. Often, they are just worried:crying: about YOU have surgery and express it as being unsupportive when they are really expressing love and concern. I'd love to stay in touch with you. You can email me directly or send me PM's...

The horrible taste in your mouth is most likely a good sign believe it or not. If you are buring fat and Protein instead of carbs, your body is in a state of strong ketosis. That means your kidneys are giving off acetone as a byproduct of fat burning. It's gross and I still have it almost daily 4 weeks post op, but I am down 14 pounds as well. Sorry about the unsupportive husband. As payback when you are a skinny hot looking woman, go shopping and spend thousands on new clothes and give him the receipts! Melissa

I'm sorry she's so unsupportive, sweetie. I just scheduled my surgery 2 weeks ago (December 23rd!) and one of my best friends is very non-supportive of my choice. (Think along the lines of, "I should be able to do it by myself" "If I just got off my butt and did it I'd feel alot better" etc.) :laugh: It's not an easy thing. I actually got lucky in that my mom had the lapband in 2007, so she's there for me, when I need to rant and rave about how excited I am, or on the other end of the spectrum "IS IT GONNA HURT?!" lol I think that you have to do what's right for you, no matter what your mother thinks, but if you want her to understand, maybe approach her in a way that she'll get. If she's very literal, show her the risks and benefits, and how much the benefits outweigh the SMALL risk! I'm only 23 and I'm 5'6" and 270 lbs. I'm also a mom to young kids (twin 3-year-olds) and at first I was worried about how I would take care of my kids post-surgery, but I know everything will fall into place. My parents are going to help me with them, because they'll already be off work around the time I get mine for Christmas break. As for how long you will have to wait, it depends on the insurance. My doctor is requiring me to get a psych consult, a physical (getting blood tests, etc done as well), and he wants me to get a sleep study done to make sure I don't have sleep apnea. I'm self-paying, although I have insurance, they want me to go on a diet for 6 months, but since I'd still have to meet my deductible beforehand, it would only save me about $400. Kind of crappy, if you ask me. Usually you only have to wait about a month or two if you're really dedicated! Like I said before, you have to make sure it's right for you! :biggrin: Have you already had your initial consult?

Family and friends can be unsupportive because they're worried or because they don't understand the process or your position. We all go through this, and we all grieve the loss of our comforting food friends. The fact is, you need to decide if you hate being fat more than you love those foods. They aren't gone forever, so take heart in that. They're out for now, and for a while post op, but as you learn better eating habits you'll find you crave those foods less. Once you're at that point it's not hard to have them in moderation. The sleeve is going to make the moderation thing a LOT easier. If you're not starving all the time it's much easier to be satisfied with a small glass of wine or a single slice of pizza. Don't talk yourself out of this procedure. Your fears are normal, and I promise, they'll be easier to deal with post op. ~Cheri

Hi Everyone! Im looking to see what great things you guys are planning on doing once you lose weight after your band, that you cant do now. Lets start a ginormous list for everyone to review as motivation when you dont ever think the insurance will approve you, the liquid diet is kicking you in the butt, or your family is being unsupport. Please list 5 things that you hope to accomplish. I'll start being able to wear calf boots without having to worry about them digging into my calves being able to shop in the misses section of the stores, and not the womens/plus section being able to fing cute/comfortable bras (Yes, Im looking forward to getting rid of the girls) can we say cute coats without any X's on the tags?!? being able to wear belts!

I think we all experience this...and actually when I was having a lump removed from my neck a few years ago that they thought might be cancerous wouldn't you know someone mentioned someone they knew that had that and just died? Folks can be rather thoughtless sometimes. As far as the failure stories - sometimes I think it definately stems from jealousy, but others I think it is because it is the only close experience that they have had with WLS surgery...and since it was negative thats all they know? When I got mine I did know of some folks who had lost some, but not all they wanted to, but they hadn't gained any back yet either. I guess it is human nature to want knock them into next week when they are so unsupportive....but let me tell you, it has been fabulous to prove them wrong! I just nod and smile when I hear yet another failure story, tell them that yes it is not a cure all, and it is a LOT more work than folks think....and then my sucess tell the story. Maybe then they will at least have a positive example to tell with their negative ones! Kim

The point of the post-op full liquid and clear liquid stages is so that our stomachs don't have to grind. They anchor the band down with just a few stitches, and they don't want any grinding to occur while those stitches heal. Advancing your diet quicker than ordered could put your band at risk. Eating some mushy canned Soup probably did no harm, but please, be careful. I don't write this to add to your guilt, but it it important to know WHY they give us the orders they do. But then again, not all doctors order the same stages of post-op diets. YOUR doctor knows exactly how he anchored your band in place and what is needed for it to heal properly. Unsupportive people are out there everywhere. This forum is a good place to come. I'd plant the cheesecake on that person's face. Or at the very least put a dish towel over it so I didn't have to see it on full display every time I opened the fridge (and explain nicely why I did it)!

I have been visiting this site for about a month now. Just reading and learning about the sleeve. I didn't register until I read your post. I had an appointment with a surgeon for a consultation a few weeks back. I wasn't going to tell my husband because I had a feeling he might be against the surgery. However, the night before the appointment I got the case of the guilt’s because I was keeping something from him. So I told him about the appointment and what I was thinking of having done. He was so against it and was so closed minded!!! I asked him to go to the appointment with me so he could learn about the surgery and ask questions too. BUT I told him to only come with me if he was willing to have an open mind. The next morning he was sitting on the couch and I could tell he was upset. I asked him how he was and he said terrible he didn't sleep all night and was completely against the surgery. I told him to stay home if he couldn't open his mind just a crack! Honestly, we have been married for 15 years and he has always supported me and been by my side for everything. I went to my appointment and loved my surgeon and can't wait to have my surgery. My husband asked how the appointment went and I said well. He asked if I got the answers I was looking for and I said yes. He didn't ask if I was going to have the surgery or not and I didn't say that I was. I asked the surgeon if he had any patients that had unsupportive spouses and he said yes. Not often but yes there are a few here and there. So, I'm going to have my surgery. I'm not sure of the date yet but I'm a self pay (my insurance will not even consider paying) so it will be in the next month. I haven't told my husband or anyone else. I have relied on these forums for information and now I'll be utilizing it for support as well. I know this is a long post but your post inspired me to register and become a part of this community. Thank you.

I'm having the same problem of unsupportive people. My unsupportive people are my husband.. Who thinks I'm going to lose weight and leave hime..lol.. and my best friend who is also heavy and that I asked to do this with me but is influenced by what everyone else tells her. I wish I didn't have to wait 5 more months and I could just get it done. I'm tired of them trying to talk me out of it. I'm sooo fustrated with them I could just cry. My mother-n-law and mom are sooo suppotive because they both had gsatric by-pass surgery. But it's hard when I know if I lose a lot of weight my husband is going to be soo jealous and make my life miserable. :thumbup:

hopeandfaith i am so sorry that you did not receive the support from your family that you wanted but the bottom line is this is a decision that you have to make for youself. once you go to the seminars and or classes they will talk about people that have negative feedback and very unsupportive. this is a life altering decision and you need support. your oldest daughter seems to be on board but you need a good support system to get through. now why aren't you able to tell anyone. is this a decision you decided on or is this a demand of your husband not tell. if he is not willing to give you the support you need then you should be able to share this with someone that is willing to be there for you. this is a wonderful site and you most definitely find support here but some times you need someone tangible to give they hug when you need it. now if hubby is unwilling to be that person then i say if you have a best friend or a sister that would there for you by all mean let them know so you can have the support you need. i will add you as a friend i'm here to talk with any time that you need. thickinphilly

I understand the frustrations and anger of an unsupporting spouse (I need to clarify that this was my ex-husband . . . I am now married to the most supportive, loving man ever) . . .take care of yourself . .. I'm glad you're back posting. . .we'll support you as best we can. Keep in touch.

My dear, this will all soon be very worthwhile to you. I had people in my life who loved me and who I felt like were being unsupportive, but I have since realized that for most of them it was some type of fear. Fear of my having surgical complications, fear that I won't succeed, fear that my weight loss will alter my relationships with them....this is yours. People quickly become more supportive when they see you physically, spiritually, and emotionally become the version of you that you want to be. Keep posting here, you will always have plenty of support and info! Anna

I don't know how I got quoted as saying that but I didn't. I am bored with this subject already . I will never understand why people on the net want to tell others what to say and feel and get into "e" fights. Really, it's not that serious. I was not being unsupportive in agreeing with the post of the person I guess you were trying to quote. When you post a very negative thread to begin with not everyone is gonna come in and agree with you. I don't think the response was snide or unsupportive she was just expressing what a lot of people thought but did not post. I was one of the fortunate ones that had no pain or discomfort after my surgery and I know I was blessed because of that. I did tons of research though before hand and I was prepared for a lot worse. So when I read OP's post I agreed with the comment of the poster. I just happen to feel that 1 week after having major surgery some pain and discomfort is to be expected . I put off my surgery for almost 3 years because of coming here and reading all of the not so good experiences. I see from this thread though that there are many that did not have a good experience and the OP has a lot of sympathizers and persons telling her what she is experiencing is somewhat normal and I guess it is for some. However, it is not everyone's experience. Take heart though I am being punished and the band that I was so happy with at first now has me in "bandster hell" and I'm not so happy but I don't feel like I want out and I don't want my band removed. I know what I am experiencing now is part of the journey for some. As badly as I wanted to wake up after the first month and be down 50 lbs. it's not happening for me. I hope time and experience heals us all and makes our dreams come true. Dee

Snide, unsupportive remarks tend to do that. :thumbup:

I had a friend who wasn't really that supportive. Mostly because of misinformation. Now... he sees how wrong he was and supports me to the fullest. Maybe she'll come around. In my case it was more from worry, then not really being totally unsupportive, just super worried.

Hi all, I am new here and almost finished with my 6 months of evaluations and classes. I'm hoping for a Jan or Feb surgery date. I decided not to tell anyone that I was going through the process except my husband, at least until it got closer to the time. A few weeks ago I decided to tell my mother inlaw and sister inlaw, who have been very supportive, as has been my husband every step of the way. I do not have a very good relationship with my mother, it has gone downhill in the past few years and in the past year I have only seen her on holidays. I am an only child and she has always been a single parent (my Dad was never in the picture). I decided to tell her I was going to do this, rather than keep it a secret. I had no idea her reaction was going to be so horrible, or I may have just decided to keep it to myself We went out to lunch and I told her and she immediately was very shocked and upset. She spent the rest of the car ride home telling how opposed she is to 'these types of procedures' and how she knows countless people who have had WLS and how horribly it has gone wrong and they ALWAYS gain the weight back. I let it go and just didn't say anything. Since then (several weeks ago) she has been sending me emails listing all the reasons why she thinks I shouldn't do this and how I have no idea what I'm in for and how terrible the repercussions will most likely be for me and I'm 'headed down the wrong path' and I must be 'out of my mind' and that she is so strongly opposed to this that it 'sickens' her, etc, etc, etc :smile2: I have calmly tried to explain to her the points where she is wrong ....I think she actually has very little knowledge about the lapband itself, but lumps all WLS together. She has a medical degree (not human medicine) and tends to be a bit of a 'know it all' :thumbup: She keeps saying she just wants what's best for me, and if I just put a little effort into it, I could do this on my own. The last email I responded to her I gave her all the facts about the surgery and said that I needed to make the best decision for myself and my family (I have 3 kids under 6 years old) and very loving supportive husband and inlaws. After being overweight my whole life and emotionally tormented much of my childhood by her trying to get me to lose weight, pointing out my appearance, etc. I know this is the right decision for me. I can already see my 6 year old daughter starting to be overweight and I do NOT want her to have the same problems that I struggled with I want to be a healthy mom making good decisions and setting a good example. My mom is hardly even a part of my life anymore because she is such a negative person in general I have deliberately shut her out and she really has made almost zero attempt to be a part of mine or my kids lives. I suppose I am letting her opinion bother me much more than I should. Even though she is barely a part of my life anymore, somehow I still wanted her to be encouraging and supportive and she wasn't. Not only wasn't she encouraging, she has been downright insulting towards me about this and it still stings. I guess I am still learning how to live my life without her 'approval' for things....isn't funny how even when we are adults and our parents may have not done such a hot job sometimes we still seek their approval for things? If you have made it this far bless your heart I guess I'm just looking for a little emotional encouragement. Thanks for listening

I had surgery in the morning and was able to get onto my side and lie that way for short periods by that night - I was SO sick of lying on my back. I went home to sleep in bed, I didnt need a recliner or anything. It took a few nights to be able to easily and comfortably lie on my side, it hurt a bit like my stomach was hanging unsupported in there.

The doctor did say that when you lose weight that fast that you lose muscle tissue, so that when you gain it back, you gain back all fat...being 14 and with unsupportive parents she probably wasn't taught much about exercise or nutrition. I never understood how a person can gain weight back after a bypass.

So I need someone's opinion on this matter. My sister and her boyfriend have been very unsupportive of me having the lap band. They both believe that I should just get up and exercise and everything will be alright, oh and they are also both really fit people. It is the most frustrating thing!!!! Has anyone had this kind of experience? and what should I do about it?

So at 2:30 in the morning, while in Tijuana Im lying wide awake and all I can think of is how can I not tell my parents and sister. Im good wheather that take it or leave it as Im doing it for me. Its basically my mother who drives me nuts when it comes to food.... for years I have asked can we please do other stuff then eating all the time, and she agrees, but nothing ever changes.... so last week when she invited me to go for a buffet and insisted I cant say no because dad is paying.... so I say no, can we please just not do something that doesnt involve food (not to mention my surgery was less then a week away too lol,,,, and she said that sounds wonderful, lets go bowling or to a movie soon then.... but while I have been in Mexico my bf writes my mom to tell her he has a dvd for her computer so my mom says thanks and insists that we need to start coming over for supper more.... that was it!! lol she seriously just doesnt know when to stop.... I wasnt going to tell my parents or sister, but I figure why live a lie, this is something HUGE and exciting for me, and people who are unsupportive of it, I dont want in my life. So wow I wrote a big long letter, and now Im waiting to hear back, but honestly Im relieved and feel the stress off my shoulder, and I cant believe I just let it all out lol (it was liberating).... but this has been ever since Ive known the rollercoaster of ups and downs with weight and Im done being in the Obese category. My doctor was 100% behind me and supported me all the way which meant alot to me, Im just hoping my family is the same!! eeekkSsss!! lol I figure if I dont tell people I can possibly just put the weight back on by streching my stomach and lying just to aplease people, no more, this is my year, my new me, the skinny new me!!! I wish everyone lots of luck in their decisions in telling people, but why not just tell everyone, youre not doing it for them, youve made this decision with a lot of care, thought and ups and downs. It took me over a year to think about it and the last 6 months to really be serious about it,,,, and to be honest it has been the best present I have ever given myself and no one is going to burst my buttons lol

Wow I am really sorry to hear about all of these jealous/negative people out there. It makes me really sad that people can't see we are trying to better our lives. It's not personal against them. Everyone has got to do for them what they got to do for them. Reading this thread makes me feel so lucky. My Mom is all for my surgery- she was the one who initially mentioned it to me and got me seriously looking into (I had always thought about it but never thought it could ever happen). The most unsupportive people are my boyfriends parents and they just seem to think I'm going to die on the operating table or something (so not so much against the sleeve per say):confused1: So glad we have this awesome forum to share, ask and rant to each other! :001_wub:

I also work in a hospital...the hospital i will be having my surgery in. This means that there is no way around my coworkers knowing. So I have decided that if they know, they know but I personally don't want to offer it up. Most would be overly supportive, I just don't want judgements to be passed that don't need to be. The only people that know are my very supportive mother, unsupportive father, and my bestfriend. I'm contemplating telling my boyfriend of 5 years but even though I trust him, I live in a small town and am afraid everyone would soon know. So i agree-it is a personal decision and neither is wrong. Its whatever works for you. Just know, there is nothing better you can do for yourself then improve your health...and when it comes down to it, who really cares what others think!! Goodluck everyone

I have recently cut my sister adrift, more because I hated the way she treated our Dad in his final years, he died recently, although she has been pretty crappy and unsupportive of me throughout too. She never heped out dealing with our aging and ill Dad, and in fact then tried to blame me after he died!! I love some of my friends far more than I do my sister and I know I am better off without her in my life. I want to spend what time I have left on this planet caring for and being cared for and enjoying the company of the people who I really like and love. Now I am older I think I can treat myself a bit! Jane x

I have been very selective about the people I've told. The one person that I thought would be super happy for me hasn't been... but everyone else has been really supportive - My extended family - Aunts and Uncles have all been very happy. My Dad - who is that one person - isn't unsupportive vocally, but I know from how he reacts about it, that he's not excited for me. He thinks I could do this on my own - because I have in the past... but the difference this time is I want to keep it off! The people you tell will all react differently - and not everyone will respond in the way you were expecting them to... but in the end, this isn't about them and how they feel about it. This is about you, so don't let the negativity get you down. You know what's right for you! And besides - you've already had it done! So poo poo to them, Spoiltmom :cursing:

Hi there. I suffer from this very often. Often when I first wake up or get up from sitting for an extended time my first few steps are excruciating :thumbup: until it stretches back out. I recommend doing lots of stretching. These stretches are great for it: Plantar Fasciitis Stretching Exercises I stretch it out before I go to bed and when I do I can walk soooo much easier the next morning. Also icing it in the evening if your sitting around watching TV roll a frozen Water bottle under it. And they also say wearing flip flops and other unsupported shoes makes it much worse. I really hope mine goes away after I'm sleeved. I've had it off on for years. Hope this helps.:thumbup: