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My take is..... If you bend the rules on the pre op diet.... Then you are setting yourself up to fail after you are banded. It's just my humble opinion but if you are in the mindset of doing whatever it takes to be successful.... I would skip the wine for now. Have fun at the wedding.... It's possible even tho you will be alcohol free.

Hello! I've lost 140 lbs thusfar, and I don't exercise everyday. . I do drink sometimes with meals, and i do snack every now and then. . . but then i'm different, just like your different. . I lost 53 lbs in my first 7 weeks and now that i'm almost 1 year out I've lost a lot of weight, but I live life like i like it. . I'll eat whatever, in small amounts of course, I'll have my alcoholic beverages, I'll have my Snacks of whatever. . . not horde amounts though! I don't stress over my weightloss, and i definately don't weigh myself every day. . . I do that only if I think about it. . which usually is about 1 or 2 times a month if that. . . I'm living a "normal" life as per me. . .and its working great. . .I usually judge my weight loss by the clothes i wear. . .if they are too lloose, I go the store fit on something that fits and it usually is a couple sizes smaller then before then I glorify myself that way. . .I get alot of compliments from people, but this usually goes in one ear and out the other, because I know how people are and usually they are not genuine . . . but this is only how i do it, i don't expect anyone else to do it this way. . it works for me only. . . good luck to everyone, you are ALL doing very well and together everyone can get through this!

GENERAL GUIDELINES Choose healthy and wholesome foods NO JUNK food Always choose low fat and low sugar foods Eat 3 small meals per day NO SNACKING Always eat small quantities Take small mouthfulls use a teaspoon if neccesary (I do) Always eat & drink slowly Allow 20 mins per meal STOP at the FIRST sign of fullness Take zero calorie drinks No alcohol Drink frequently throughout the day (water) Dont drink with meals Take a multi Vitamin & mineral supplement (liquid or chewable) Jenny I have some good food plans here and ideas for meals too many to type out . But If u would like to PM me I would be willing to copy these for you and post them to you . Just pm your name & address . Best wishes S x:thumbup:

I am working from home and playing FV2 to pass the time. Still living on cottage cheese, greek yogurt, shrimp cocktail, protein shakes and filet mignon and asparagus. If I want a snack, that's cashews or raw veggis with my zero cal/carb ranch dressing. Really boring as far as diet goes, but I have lost 58 lbs without any exercising since the week before Thanksgiving, just modified my dietary habits radically, gave up carbs which used to be my favorite food group and any alcohol. I didn't go out much before other than to work, since I had my surgery, I couldn't eat in restaurants anyway so I wasn't going anywhere anyway so this stay home thing doesn't represent that much of a change for me other than no longer leaving to go to work.

Hey all, so I was sleeved on 5/23. I am so grateful for everything I've learned from this board just by reading people's stories, so hopefully, someone can benefit from mine... My surgery was at 9:15 am this Tuesday. On my way to the hospital, I was complaining to my sister that I wish my surgery was outpatient instead of I day inpatient stay because I was so sure I'd be fine and just wasting my time in a hospital... boy was I wrong! Apparently I don't tolerate anesthesia well at all. I woke up in the PACU in horrible pain and severe nausea/gagging/abdominal spasms that were almost nonstop. The last time I had surgery was when I was a kid and I just remember waking up and feeling a bit of pain then.. I thought it may be the same. I was transferred to my unit for my first night and every few minutes I was calling the nurse for pain meds or nausea meds, or both. They had me on 3 different types of medications for nausea, 2 different pain meds. Despite this, I was still having significant breakthrough pain and nausea. I couldn't get out of my bed at all, let alone walk a few hours after surgery. The entire time I kept thinking what the heck did I do to myself and I wondered whether I'd be sent home feeling this way. I didn't get more than a few minutes of sleep the entire night. All of the nurses on the floor did everything they could to help me out and I could not be more grateful for such a wonderful team caring for me. The next morning I was still on max doses of all the same medications, but I was starting to feel better. Started walking with the nurse's assistant and took a few more laps around the floor throughout the day. I had lots of secretions in my lungs that was keeping my oxygen saturation down, so I had to clear them out. By evening time, I was more stable, but I still had not peed and was not passing gas. This may be TMI but they had to catheterize me 5 times I had to stay inpatient for another night so they could monitor my urine output. This morning I woke up much better, just trying to take in all of my fluids, but I'm getting small bouts of nausea from just one 1oz of liquid per hour. It's slowly getting better, but I'm still behind on my fluids. Anyway, I'm so happy to finally be home. I'm gonna keep drinking fluids like it's my job. I also wanted to add a couple of things people may find helpful: First, if you are out of surgery and having trouble tolerating plain water, try a flavored water. I never was much of a fan of flavored water pre-op, but it helped me so much after surgery. Second, if you are having bouts of nausea, ask the nurse for some alcohol prep pads (the ones they swipe you with before you get an injection), place it under your nose and keep inhaling. This may seem strange, but it kills nausea and worked great while I was waiting for my IV nausea meds to be administered. I hope my story didn't scare anyone off. Everyone responds to anesthesia differently, I guess I'm one of the unfortunate people who have a hard time with it. I also hear for most people the first night is by far the worst, and that was definitely the case for me. I started feeling much better by the next morning. Good luck to everyone!

There are only a few things that are on my never again list. The most critical one is soda pop. Drinking anything while eating is a no no permanently and NSAIDs. Now keep in mind that if you have severe arthritis your Bariatric team will work with you on an NSAIDs program that will protect your pouch. I have severe arthritis in my spine and several other joints but I choose not to risk a potential ulcer. Alcohol after year 1 is fine in small amounts but realize you are drinking your calories. I have been eating raw celery once 8 weeks out, it has never bothered me. I just chop it in salads and Soups small. I use a straw everyday! It helps me drink all my liquids. You simply have to learn not to gulp. I am now 21 months post op and have tried just about everything else I once did. I just don't like things like greasy foods, sweets or heavy carb foods. I crave good quality Protein, great fruit and veggies.

My answer would be no alcohol. Not worth the calories - 90 calories for a glass of white wine, 120 - 160 for a martini. That’s a lot of the calories you’re allowed at this stage. The pre surgery diet is the beginning of your weight loss journey & the start of removing food dependencies like sugar & refined carbs from your diet. (Yes, I know, spirits have very few carbs but the mixers often do.) Many programs say no alcohol at all because of the calories, the risk of addiction switching - food to alcohol - & that it has no nutritional value. Nutritionally dense foods should be your focus at all time. Honestly, I had a drink at about month 2 or 3. I nursed that g&t for 3+ hours. I only have a drink about once a month or even less frequently. Not worth the calories & I don’t enjoy it as much. Don’t really miss it either. But it is your choice.

Alcohol absorption isn't affected by the band. It is still metabolized the same. With gastric bypass, it is different and those patients get drunk faster. I don't consume alcohol near as much as I used to, so I feel it much sooner these days as a result. If you had beer, it could be that the carbonation is what bothered you. When my stomach is tender, I like to do liquids and mushies to just give it a break for a while until it is feeling better. Like others have said, drink lots of fluids!

Happy Nurses Week!! To all of those that I am sending this to Happy Nurses week YOU MAY BE A NURSE IF……… 1. You believe that every patient needs TLC. Thorazine, lorazepam, and Compazine. 2. You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley. 3. You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious. 4. Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. 5. You know the phone number of every late night delivery place by heart. 6. You can only tell time by the 24 hr clock 7. Almost everything can seem humorous….eventually 8. When asked what color that patient's diarrhea was, you show them your shoes 9. You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it. 10. Every time you walk you make a jingling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pocket. 11. You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing that they know. 12. You refuse to watch ER because it is too much like the real things, and it triggers flashbacks. 13. You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work. 14. You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up. 15. You notice that you are using more 4-letter words than you did before you started nursing. 16. Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you. 17. You can intubate your friends at parties. 18. You don't get excited about blood unless it's your own. 19. You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle , to convince the doctor is more difficult" 20. You've basted you thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe. 21. You've told a confused patient that you name was that of you co-worker and to holler if they need help. 22. Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal. 23. Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank. 24. When checking the level of a patient's orientation, you aren't sure of the answer. 25. You find yourself checking out other customers veins in the grocery waiting lines. 26. You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on you dinner break and are not embarrassed when you wake up. 27. You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for the fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off. 28. You throw a party for a co-worker and use a urinal (clean of course) as a lemon-aid pitcher and use a bed sheet for a tablecloth. 29. You hate to get dressed in "real clothes" because scrubs are what you live in, and why can't they make jeans that comfortable 29. You often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights and realize you don't need alcohol or drugs to hallucinate, just lack of sleep. 30. You pull over in some parking lot after working nights because you are too tired to drive home and wake up to someone knocking on your window thinking you have had a stroke because you are passed out in you car and drooling. 31. You finger has gone places you never thought possible. 32. You've sworn to have "No Code" tattooed on your chest. HAPPY NURSES WEEK

Go, have a good time, as Sai says, sip on some water or unsweet tea. Doubtful anyone will press food or drink on you, but here are some sample scripts in case they do: Them: care for a cocktail? You: No thanks! Them: Here, have a slice of birthday cake! You: I wish I could, but my doctor ordered me not to eat food like that until I lose some weight. Them: why aren't you eating? You: I've been having some tummy issues recently, trust me, you do not want to see the results at this party if I eat some rich party food. Them: Why aren't you drinking? You: My doctor told me no alcohol because I need to lose weight. I swear I am not pregnant! etc. etc. Pick the type of excuse that works best for you, though I doubt you will have to use it.

Questions about binge eating. Food addiction. History of addiction or alcoholism. Questions about my emotions. It was pretty painless. Took like 10-15 minutes.

I had to lose 10% before I was approved for surgery. I cut back to 1200 cals and "ate like I had surgery." Meaning I ate protein first, chew a lot, started working out, cut back on carbs, completely cut out soda caffine junk food alcohol, etc. My cravings are gone and I am used to eating this way so I feel like transitioning after surgery will be so much easier. I have lost 40lbs and I'm still 2-3months out before I get surgery and still losing. Going to be well below the weight needed for surgery but I feel super prepared.

So you can fake drinking...I was married to an alcoholic and I faked it when we were with friends. I was my own bartender, the life of the party chatting up people, getting their drinks. I made fake drinks with a slice of lemon and whatnot in my glass but it had pretty much zero alcohol, and if someone else made one, I would carry it around awhile and then dump it out in the bathroom. I had to drive home. Or say you have an ulcer and can't drink alcohol. Honestly do you want to not drink? Or are you lamenting aimlessly and want permission?

I don't really consider it cheating if I have a really small scoop of carb smart ice cream and then stop at that. You will need to decide if you can handle just something small like that. It really depends if you have an eating disorder (binge, addiction) or not. I got sugar free popsicles and eat them daily. I also got some sugar free candies and limit myself to 2 a day because the sugar alcohol can cause stomach discomfort. I had to completely cut off any kind of regular candy - chocolate was my nemesis. I won't eat that again. Mich W Hw 223, SW 217 CW 198 GW 135

I had a few sips about a week ago. It was a charity event that was being hosted at a Wine Tasting School. Fortunately it wasn't impolite to take a sip or 2 and then dump what was left (and they were pouring very small amounts anyway). Even at my highest weight.. I was a bit of a light weight when it came to alcohol. Fortunately this was small enough & stretched out enough time wise that it didn't really hit me. I will say that when I got home I was famished.. even after having a protein bar on the way home.

As a person who loves, and I do mean loves food, I will argue with anyone who tells me I did it the easy way. It is not easy to give up your life long friend( food).it is the hardest addiction there is. We need food to survive. We don't need alcohol, drugs, sex and smoking to survive. We all are choosing a tool to help us be healthy and fit. The first few weeks is not pretty on the journey to WLS. Starving yourself is not fun.Im talking pre op diet and post op diet, it's so boring. Now at 4 weeks post op, and 35lbs lighter, it does get better. I'm trying to make many changes in my life. I have now replaced my obsession and love for my food to exercise! For me, the weight does not just fall off, I'm a lower BMI girl, been harder to lose. But so worth it! Everyone, be proud of your choice, for some it's easier than for others. I am truly going to appreciate this permanent weight loss!! Good luck to us all Sent from my iPhone using VST

I agree. Start as if you had surgery yesterday with the liquid diet and follow the 5 day pouch reset. That will help get a lot of the sugar toxins out of your system and it will jump start you. Then, focus on the rules: 1. No drinking anything 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after you eat. 2. Limit your beverage calories. Try to stay on Water or sugar free non carbonated beverages. Stay away from alcohol. If you can, even limit caffeine as it really does cause you to feel hunger. 3. Mindful eating, remove distractions so you can pay attention to your pouch. Your tool is still there, you just need to retrain it. 4. Eat your meals slowly chewing well in between eat bite. Put the fork down in between but do not go over 30 minutes for your meal as your pouch begins emptying at that point. 5. Drink a minimum of 64oz of water or SF non carbonated liquids. 6. Ensure you get a minimum of 1 gram of Protein for every inch you are tall. Even a little more is better. Make sure that you get that protein mostly from dense Proteins like fish, seafood, beef, chicken and pork. These foods will keep your pouch fuller longer and provide you with much needed protein grams. 7. If you have not done this recently, you should have a full Bariatric blood panel drawn to ensure you are not lacking any nutritional elements that could cause you problems. 8. Are you still taking lifelong Vitamins like B12, Calcium Citrate or any other vitamins your Bariatric Doctor put you on? If not, you will want that nutritional panel to inform those decisions. 9. No grazing.....this is where most people start to have weight gain. Eat your 3 meals a day and try to avoid snacking. If you are one of those people like me who has reactive hypoglycemia, then have 5 smaller meals. 10. Avoid sugar, potatoes, Pasta, rice and bread. Same thing with any prepackaged processed foods. Get rid of the junk and stick to good quality proteins and veggies and fruits. Once you hit goal again, then you can introduce some whole grains back into your diet slowly until you get to a good maintenance schedule. 11. Try to get some exercise even if it is just walking daily. These are the things that I will do if I ever start to regain my weight. It really is getting back to the basics.

Hi Guys I am in my 6 month weight mngmt with my pcp this is my last visit before i can get a surgery date. I have a visit in sept for my nutrition 90 min class and 2 phsyc eval left. I cant mamage to stop smoking. I am not a heavy smoker i only smoke when i drink alcohol which is almost every weeknd! Does anyone know what can happen surgically? (Intubation) amd what i can do to stop! I am so close to finishing and i dnt wamt to risk anything just because i have this bad habbit. Also is anyome scared not to wake up from surgery? I try not to think on it but i really need some support here. Tall me thru it ???? *BTW PLEASE EXCUSE THUMB ERRORS*

Like others have said, it varies with the tightness of your band but I have found that social settings are not as hard as I had imagined they would be. The trickiest bits for me are: 1. Avoiding alcohol (or drinking at all) 2. Avoiding sodium Now the above two things are simply because I am trying to lose aggressively. Foodwise, before my last fill, I could eat almost any food in smaller quantities. The last fill has made that more difficult so fish, moist Proteins and Soups are the staple. Yesterday, I went to lunch with my wife and ordered the healthy chicken breast lunch (Grillsmith). It was a Chicken Breast, a scoop of potatoes and grilled asparagus. I ate half the chicken breast, two asparagus spear tips and half the scoop of potatoes. I took the other half of the chicken breast home and made chicken salad out of it for dinner. Did it feel weird? Yup. But it works and it can be worked through.

Just sorta my story. Hope it is ok to post. I have battled weight my entire life. My sister was the skinny one, I was the "husky" one. Oh how I hated that word. Seriously, who calls a kid "husky" for crying out loud!? Is that supposed to make a kid feel better than calling them fat? I remember being little and my Aunt would joke around saying my sister was "the stick of butter" and I was the "tub of butter." Amazing how even adults can make kids feel bad about weight, huh? I never really remember being a happy kid. I hated going to school. My home life was not a great one. My parents divorced when I was about 3. My Mom had a lot of personal issues of her own that I don't think she really ever knew how to deal with. She moved us from place to place. She dated different guys. She depended on alcohol a lot. Let me get this out here from the start though. I LOVE my my with all my heart. She may not have always been the best Mom, but she is MY Mom. I love her. Having said that, my childhood sorta sucked. I know now that I suffered from depression, but there was no one there to notice or do anything about it. The one comfort I had was food. I turned to food when I was bored. I turned to food when I was sad. Let me tell you, I was bored and sad a lot. When you are a teenager and you have a weight problem, you also have self esteem issues. You do not like yourself. All you want is for someone else to like you. That is pretty damn hard when you don't like yourself. Sadly, when you do not like yourself, it then becomes easy for people to use you. You let it happen because, although it is negative attention you are getting, it is still attention. So at a young age I was doing things with boys that was not appropriate. Things that, if I could go back and stop myself from doing, I most definitely would. Crazy how something like weight can totally throw off how you view and feel about yourself, huh? I made it out of the teenage years and into young adulthood. I met my husband when I was 18. (Ok, still a kid really!) By the time I was 20, our daughter was born. Well, she was born on May 20th and I turned 21 on August 11th. He met me when I was overweight. He accepted me as the person I was....someone who was overweight. He saw me for and loved me for the person I was on the inside. I was so thankful for that. However, I still did not love myself. Over the years I still struggled with my weight. I also struggled with my depression. I actually did not get diagnosed and treated for depression until a few years into our marriage. There were ups and downs with that and the weight. In 2000, I lost 91 lbs while doing low carb. My husband and I were actually separated at the time. (We separated 3 times throughout the years. Don't worry, it has a happy ending since we are back together now and stronger than ever!) However, low carb was a temporary fix. I went through some hard times, the depression came back, and so did the weight....along with some extra. I then just gave up with the weight loss. I accepted the fact that I was destined to be fat forever. Fast forward to 2011. In August of 2011 I broke my ankle. Not a big deal, right? Yeah, it really wasn't. Well, not until a week later when I started to have some serious pain and the cast I had on got really tight. I went to the doctor and they decide it would be a good idea to just check and make sure I hadn't developed a blood clot. Turns out I hadn't developed one blood clot.....I had developed TWO, one of which had already moved up into my thigh. I was immediately rushed over to the hospital and admitted. I spent the next 10 days there as they tried to get the clots under control. It was at that point that I realized I seriously could have died from that. I could have died and never saw my daughter grow up and have a successful career and family. It was not directly because of my weight, but my weight was a factor. Once I got out of the hospital, I was on blood thinners for months, having to go to the doctor sometimes as often as every 3 days to have my blood drawn. Not fun, let me tell you. Fast forward to January of 2012. I will spare you the details, but I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. Not really life or death, but again another health issue. However, the part about THIS surgery that really made me start to think about the lap band surgery was the cost. I have health insurance. I work for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, so obviously that is the insurance I also have. Since I started working for them, I also got to know the criteria to be met for the lap band surgery. I mean, I had thought about it in the past, but never thought I could actually afford to do it. However, here I found myself in January having this emergency surgery. THIS surgery meant that I had met my out of pocket maximum of my insurance at the start of the year. For the rest of 2012, all of my medical bills were covered 100% by my insurance. That REALLY made me start to realize that lap band WAS possible for me. I mean, working for BCBS of IL, I knew that with my BMI and my health history, I more than qualified to meet the criteria. With my out of pocket max being met, it would be no cost to me. Why in the world NOT go for it?!?! So, one day in March I decided to go for a consult. I found info about a lap band surgeon in the area who was in my PPO network. I called and made the appointment. By May I had met with the surgeon, I had gone through the 3 hour psych evaluation/dietican evaluation, etc, and I had sent it for preapproval with BCBS. Within 3 days I had my approval back from the insurance company. This was REALLY going to happen. I still couldn't believe it. I then, however, had to wait until August for the actual surgery because I wanted to save up my paid time off at work. A week before surgery the doctor called and told me there was something "suspicious" with my EKG and they didn't know if I could have the surgery. I freaked out. Now, normal people would freak out over the abnormal EKG, right? Me? I freaked out over the idea of maybe not being able to get he surgery. Messed up, I know. So I ended up having to get an EEG done and was able to get it back and the results to the surgeon A DAY before surgery. Everything was fine and the surgery went on as planned. Surgery took place on August 7, 2012. On the day of surgery I weighed 304.5 lbs and wore a size 26 jeans. Today, December 22, 2012, I weigh 252.8 lbs and wear a size 18 jeans. I do not regret my decision for a moment. Six months ago, I am sure I would NEVER had told someone my weight or clothing size. Am I where I want to be right now? No, however, I am proud of how far I have come. I know the road ahead is not an easy one nor will it be a quick one. I WISH it was a quick one. My doctor scolds me all the time for being frustrated that I have not lost more. I am impatient. I admit it. I want this weight gone NOW. I know that is not going to happen, and I am slowly accepting that. I do know I am heading in the right direction though. I am heading in the HEALTHY direction. So yeah....that is me and my lap band journey.

I quoted catalystmb specifically because of the point she made about whether it would be out of your system. Can an alcoholic go on a drinking binge before they get sober to get it out of their system, or a drug addict? Nope, that ain't how it works. HOWEVER, the good news is, you WILL be able to eat food again, just not for a little while. And not as much. And, I was banded on Feb. 5 last year, and I started my pre-op diet 10 days prior to surgery. It was a clear liquid sugar free diet, with 1/2 cup of plain yogurt or cottage cheese per day. No Protein shakes, or anything like that. I only lost 11 lbs on my pre-op diet, and I started at 285. I'm not saying that losing 25 lbs on a pre-op diet is impossible, but it's not really probable. Oh, and I started my farewell to food tour on the day I got my surgery date, which was December 26. So I ate myself to oblivion and back for a whole month before surgery. Now I see how stupid that was, because none of the foods that I had in that month have really been off limits for me. I haven't even wanted some of them. Good luck, and enjoy your last hurrah if you must...but no matter what, FOLLOW YOUR SURGEON'S POST-OP INSTRUCTIONS! That is more important that ANYTHING else for the longevity of your band and your long term health.

As is often noted, when performing surgery, our surgeon only operates on our digestive tract, not our brains. Many of us come to WLS with a long time or even a lifetime dysfunctional relationship with food and/or our bodies. One resource for making peace with food and our bodies is Overeater's Anonymous (OA). OA is a worldwide fellowship that is fashioned after Alcoholic's Anonymous. OA uses AA's 12-step model of recovery and changes the words alcohol and alcoholic to food and compulsive eater. If you are struggling with food and emotional eating or other issues around food and eating (anorexia, bulimia, compulsive eating, binge eating, body dysmorphia, food obsession, etc.), then you may want to explore OA. The website (OA.org), has information about the program, literature, meeting lists, podcasts, and other useful information. Here is a good blog post about how WLS and OA can work together: http://www.mybariatriclife.org/oa-overeaters-anonymous-after-surgery/

Mine was necessary because I had NASD: Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. My liver (which lays in front of the stomach) was enlarged and needed to be shrunk so that the doctor could have easier access to my stomach. I was on liquids for ten days.

I made the decision at Universal Studios when I couldn't get on a ride that just 6 months earlier I could get on. I looked into surgery 10 years ago, but wasn't ready to give up food and alcohol at the time (I was 20). Now I've grown up and out so it's time!! It has taken me 2 months to get all the tests and dr. clearances and my surgery date is in 19 days and I'm not even cranky on my pre-op diet! Know that you are ready to make the change and if your not... its not your time yet. If you are jump on the bandwagon and we will all be here for you! Good Luck!

I agree that it's a lie that you have to file a paper to keep a doctor from talking to your parents! I've got two adult sons whose doctors often requested that I leave the room while they had private talks with my sons. The kids usually told me what it was about (drugs, alcohol, sex), but the doctors never would because of privacy laws. My youngest was dx with diabetes at 14 and his endocrinologist often asked my son if he wanted to doctor to go over the diagnostic tests with me in the room. ALL patients are entitled to privacy. As for the surgeon deciding not to operate, F him. There are other doctors and you can go to another doctor. Your insurance has already approved your surgery. If you're determined, and it sounds like you may not be?, then call that surgeon back and explain to him that YOU are the patient and it is YOUR decision that counts, not your father's. If the surgeon still refuses to do your surgery, call the insurance company and ask for another doctor's name. BTW, if I lived anywhere near NY, I'd offer to be there for you on the day of surgery. I'm a good mommy-figure.