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This is why I love this website. I hadn't even thought of this. Of course, I've only lost a few pounds so far - getting banded on Wednesday. Actually, I never thought "fat girl" pubic areas were any different until my dear, considerate husband informed me of such. THEN, I didn't even think about loosing weight there. If I do need a tummy tuck, then yes, I think I'd probably get that area done as well. Being able to easily get to my clit is VERY important to me. I hadn't really thought of the weight gain as getting in the way of pleasurable sex, but looking back I think it has. Looking forward to "getting at it" with no trouble. BTW - My husband and I are in our 30's and we both trim/shave. It just makes oral sex so much easier. But I agreee with other posts that bald is itchy and uncomfortable - and requires a lot of maintenance, at least for me.

Hi there - I had my sleeve done at Johns Hopkins Baview (Dr. Schwietzer) - I was sleeved on August 16th, 2011, so this August will be my 2 year anniversary! (My stats on this forum are probably outdated) - I started at 249 and currently weight 149 - I have been fortunate not to have any weight gain. Good luck on your journey!!I It will all be worth it!!

My mother is anorexic her entire life, father is out of shape but not overweight. Both parents do have high cholesterol and strokes despite not being overweight. My older sister has been overweight since childhood, her weight gain started when my mother gave her Coca-Cola instead of potentially contaminated water when they were refugees. When my sister started losing weight from WLS, I gained weight. My little sister was briefly overweight for 1 year during college and has become anorexic like my mother. I no longer keep contact with my family, but all of my close friends have been supportive.

The other thing my doctor told me- is we as country over portion even for the kids! A meat serving for them is "their fist size" not mine! Same for other foods. So I down loaded a portion size chart for foods- but you also have to remember I am dealing with a lot of special needs children with tendancies for weight gain and the distinct possibility we might not read- so we are way to creative- I also have a padlock on the snack cabniet (ie- cherrios, grahm crackers, animal crackers, gold fish , mommy favorite home made oatmeal & bran "poopy" cookies. This is more to keep them out- since none of the lazy susan locks worked. But it does keep them out the oldest goes for the grape s or cut up apples first! (By the way I use "snack bags- about 1/2 - 2/3 size of sandwhich bag!- I love them)

Thanks for the article. I still have so many questions about obesity and surgery. I would like to think surgery studies would be different from the biggest looser weight loss program. I don't see many surgery patients 6+ years out. I think for many reasons. Life turn to normal..You don't Identify with weight loss mode and some experience weight gain. Patients in my area don't keep follow up appointments for 5 years. The studies at my surgeons office are not correct due to the lack of continued participation. This Leave me with more questions than answers. I still depend on all the senior surgery patients. I follow what keeps them successful. I wish I met more people long term out.

WOW! Yay, Ebony! Fabulous! G4E - Don't stress over the weight gain - you have a few other things going on in your life to worry about that. Please keep us posted on how things are going. Hugs and best wishes. Glad to hear that! Good luck at the Docs.

So for over a month I've been in this stall. 1lb up, 1lb down, 1lb up, and 1lb down. Then, I had a 3lb weight gain over 2 days! [emoji33] I called my NUT and we went over what was going on. I've been trying to deal with a torn knee, being on cortisteriods for that which make you insanely hungry, not being able to do any lower body exercise because of that and lupus flaring up which we have found out is liquefying my knee joint, so we've had to up and change meds to try to get it under some sort of control. But all that doesn't excuse the weight gain. It's merely running tandrum to my weight gain. The weight gain, is coming from the fact that little carbs are sneaking in. 1/4 of a tortilla here, starchy veggies like peas here, maybe some corn in my tortilla soup there, etc. a half a slice of bread for a sandwich. Apparently some of us are really highly sensitive to carbohydrates so my NUT wants me to cut out all carbs and fruit and go strictly with plain protein and leafy greens. No fillers and see if that will help. What I wanted to share is that if your stall is going on this long, you might just need help sorting out your diet or something and while a week or two is normal, over a month is NOT normal especially when you are only 4 months out and have an obese person yet to lose. So, if you find yourself where I am, please follow up with your NUT.. It could save you from never reaching your goal.

Weight loss that stalls, plateaus or ends in a person gaining back more weight than they originally lost are all forms of yo-yo dieting. This see-saw pattern of weight loss versus weight gain can go on for years. It is never about being greedy, and never about a lack of willpower. It is, however, a repetitive cycle of behavior of the emotional eater who self-sabotages their weight loss success due to a number of key habitual, responses many of which exist below conscious awareness. There are many examples of when self-sabotaging behavior around food continues after WLS. It seems that the more people who commit to surgery without fully resolving their emotional reasons for bingeing, compulsive sugar cravings, zoned out or mindless grazing, and disordered eating in general then the more people who post-WLS will continue to struggle with emotional eating. Therapists Sally Baker and Liz Hogon specialize in resolving emotional eating. They see a growing number of clients post-WLS in their individual practices in London, England and Melbourne, Australia. Endless over thinking about food, and a whole range of compulsive behaviors can continue after surgery. Even the feelings of dissatisfaction about amount of weight lost post-WLS is just an aspect of the negative self-belief that can dominate the thought processes and feelings of someone in the grip of emotional eating. Changes can take place, and belief systems that no longer serve a person can be released and replaced with a more positive, and helpful framework. Sally and Liz have found from their work that as many of the emotional drivers, and reasons for carrying excess weight in the first place are below conscious awareness then that is where the therapy work needs to happen for change to really embed and be sustained.

WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE BEHAVIOR? The term “adaptation” brings Charles Darwin to my mind. His theory of evolution is considered heresy where I live, but whatever your personal belief about the origin of the human species, you’ve probably observed many times that humans and other living things have an amazing ability to adapt their behavior, and even their forms, to better survive and thrive in its environment, and that as the environment changes, so do the creatures living in it. Here in Tennessee, the weather is getting hot enough to send us into our closets to bring out the shorts and sandals and bathing suits we need to comfortably survive the summer. At the same time, our dogs and cats are shedding the extra fur they’d acquired to keep them warm during the winter. The humans are adapting their dressing behavior and the cats are adapting their forms to adjust to hot weather. This is adaptation in its positive sense, but adaptation also has a dark side. Defining “maladaptation” requires us to assume that certain behaviors are normal, while others are abnormal. That does not necessarily mean that normal is healthy and abnormal is unhealthy. Someone (or something) is considered “normal” if they conform to a widely accepted standard or practice, and abnormal if they deviate from the norm. A behavior can be identified as maladaptive or abnormal only in the context of an environment. It is not intrinsically wrong or evil, and its degree of deviance or abnormality depends on things like cultural and social rules and norms (cannibalism may be a normal behavior in one society, but not in another), systems of psychological and medical thought (a mentally ill person may be “abnormal”, but able to function despite that); as well as political beliefs and ideals (in a democracy, the practice of communist principles is considered “wrong”). I’m going to try to bypass all those interesting but knotty aspects and give you definitions and examples that don’t require a PhD in sociology or psychology to decipher them. Some maladaptive behavior is disruptive to society because it interferes with group functioning. A child “acting out” at school in reaction to the stresses he experiences at home is an example of this. His frustration with his home life turns into anger that fuels temper tantrums in the classroom. His behavior is maladaptive because it doesn’t eliminate the stresses at home and creates a whole new spectrum of stresses and problems at school as his teachers and fellow students react to his aggression. He can’t learn lessons in school that he needs to learn because his “bad” behavior gets in the way. Other maladaptive behavior is expressed in an inward fashion. A shy, anxious art student is horrified when her painting teacher publically critiques her painting and tells her and the rest of the students that her artwork is exactly what they should not be doing. The art student loses confidence in her talent and changes her major to another subject. Her behavior is maladaptive because it makes it much harder for her to achieve her original goal of becoming an art teacher. My own definition of maladaptive behavior is this. It’s a nonproductive behavior that prevents you from adapting to situations, or changes in yourself or your environment, in a healthy way. It can begin as an attempt to deal with or avoid an unpleasant experience but it does not solve the original problem and eventually becomes dysfunctional. You adjust to a situation in a way that makes sense at the time but that eventually misdirects your energy and focus, and interferes with your personal and interpersonal functioning, your health, and your ability to achieve your goals. At the start, the behavior feels like a helpful, even positive response to abnormal, difficult, or negative circumstances. As a bandster, I used both old and new maladaptive eating behaviors. My decades-old behaviors, like eating to deal with stress, did not disappear on the morning of my band surgery, and 5 years later, I’m still working on changing that. I also developed new behaviors in response to the experience of having an adjustable gastric band. The long-term result of these maladaptive behaviors is unintended and undesirable. The maladaptive eating tactic may seem to solve a current problem while it's actually creating future problems: slowed or stopped weight loss, weight gain, band slippage, band erosion, and so on. SOFT CALORIE SYNDROME & OTHER DANGERS A classic example of bandster maladaptive eating behavior is known as Soft Calorie Syndrome. I discovered the perils of this syndrome for myself when I traveled to New York City to attend a trade show when I was about 8 months post-op. I had gotten a fill the day before I left, and by the time I got to New York I had realized that my band was too tight for me to tolerate. I couldn’t eat any solid food, so I spent the next 3 days eating soft, high-calorie, low-satiety foods like soup, milkshakes, and ice cream. I was just trying to survive long enough to go home and get an unfill. My eating behavior achieved a temporary goal (comfortable survival) while sabotaging my long term goal of losing weight. In fact, I gained weight during that trip and ended up feeling disappointed in myself. A frustrating aspect of maladaptive behavior is that it’s often easier to see in others than it is in yourself, but even someone who’s fully aware that her or his behavior is counterproductive may feel helpless to change it. If I had a dollar for every time a bandster has confessed to eating to relieve stress or boredom, I’d be a wealthy woman now. Emotional eating tends to be so longstanding and deep-rooted that it takes on a life of its town, like a devil lurking inside us who seductively whispers, “Chocolate! Chocolate will make you feel soooo much better!” when you’re too vulnerable, tired, or upset to make a different or healthier choice. When I was being treated for PTSD years ago, a counselor asked me to make a list of behaviors and activities that I could choose to do instead of engaging in self-destructive ones. At first the exercise seemed contrived and silly, but eventually I realized its usefulness. I was not able to think clearly and make good choices when in severe emotional distress. All I could think of was razor blades. My index card of alternate behaviors reminded me that I could telephone a friend, go for a walk, take a bath, listen to music, pet a dog, and the like instead of playing with sharp objects. Now, I very much hope that you’re not dealing with severe emotional distress (which I would wish only on my worst enemy), but I do believe you can benefit by making your own list of alternatives to emotional eating. Carry a copy of that list with you everywhere you go and keep a copy in an easily-accessible spot at home (I tacked mine to my bulletin board). TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES In the 1960’s and 70’s, contestants on the “Truth or Consequences” game show would try to answer ridiculously obscure trivia questions and be forced to perform silly stunts in punishment for getting the answers wrong. The host ended each episode by saying, “Bob Barker saying goodbye, and hoping all your consequences are happy ones!" The relief or pleasure or other immediate consequences of a maladaptive behavior may seem like happy ones, but they generally short-lived, so the behavior must be repeated over and over for the benefit to be felt. As with an addiction, it takes more and more of the behavior or substance to cause relief or pleasure. An anxious person, whose mother lost a leg to gangrene (death of flesh) from bacterial infection in an untreated injury, naturally fears germs. She washes her hands thoroughly and often, especially after touching anything that might harbor germs. At the start, her own home is clean and safe, but because her hand washing doesn’t remove her basic fear, eventually she must practice it all day, every day, over and over, even in her own home, until her skin is scrubbed raw. She sees the abrasions her scrubbing has caused as more vulnerable to germs and increases the hand washing. Soon the hand washing excludes all other activities and she dares not leave her home. The salutary practice of hand washing has become a maladaptive and destructive behavior. Unlike the hand washing or other compulsive, fear-based, abnormal and ritualistic behavior, maladaptive eating is rarely perceived as strange. Eating is socially acceptable as long as the meat on your plate belongs to a different species. It’s also something that’s easy to do in secret, while you’re alone in your car or your bathroom or wherever you go to escape other people. But when you do it over and over again, your repetition of the behavior cements it into a wall around you, keeping you locked inside instead venturing forth to find relief elsewhere. And should you confess to this maladaptive eating behavior, people who don’t use food in this way simply cannot fathom why you would do it. They say impatiently, “Put the fork down! Step away from the table! Just say no to chocolate!” Ah, if only it were that simple, that easy… SMALL-TIME CRIMINALS Some maladaptive behavior arises from ignorance, misconceptions or misunderstanding. Take the case of Martin. He received minimal pre-op education, so when he found himself PB’ing (regurgitating) on a daily basis after his 3rd fill, he assumed that this was simply a fact of life for bandsters. His problem is ignorance. The same thing happened to Annie, who assumed she was doing something wrong but was too shy, ashamed and embarrassed to ask her surgeon about it. Her problem is misconception. And when PB’ing intruded into Carol’s daily life, she believed it was like vomiting, caused by “a stomach bug”, so it never even occurred to her that her eating behavior might be causing it. Her problem is misunderstanding. All too often, a maladaptive behavior seems like such a small “crime” – it was just one ice cream cone – that the bandster minimizes its importance without realizing that the cumulative effect of a series of small crimes can be just as destructive as a single big one. It’s kind of like ignoring the posted speed limit when you’re driving your car. You shudder at the news of a fatal car accident when an acquaintance driving at 70 mph in a 35 mph zone loses control of his vehicle and crashes into a telephone pole. In that instance, ignoring the speed limit is clearly a bad choice. But when you’re late for work (again), run a few yellow or even red lights (again), and drive at 70 mph in a 35 mph zone (again) in your eagerness to get to work on time, and nothing bad happens, speeding doesn’t seem like such a terrible crime…until the day you can’t stop in time to avoid the car turning into your path and end up as a bleeding mess choking on dust from your car’s air bag while an ambulance carries off the person you killed because of your maladaptive behavior. IS THIS BEHAVIOR GETTING YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO GO? A bandster once confessed, “I eat pretty good all week and then I allow myself a junk food day...a bad mistake on the weekend since that usually means a junk food weekend...once I start, it’s so hard to stop and of course weight gain is the result and I end up beating myself up. I'm never going to be where I want to be if I continue this behavior.” I want to repeat that all-important last sentence: “I'm never going to be where I want to be if I continue this behavior.” That, my friends, is the take-home message of this article. Take it to heart, take it home, and take it out and study it often. Ask for help in identifying and dealing with your maladaptive eating behaviors. Take them seriously, but don’t build them into mountains right in the middle of your path to success. Sometimes the solution or treatment for a big maladaptive behavior can be a small piece of common sense. One of my favorites is: Don’t keep trigger foods in the house. If chocolate is your bête-noir (the black beast that’s the bane of your existence), you’re not going to be able to gorge yourself with it the next time you’re feeling weak if there is no chocolate in your house. Yes, I know you can hop in your car, ignore the posted speed limits, and pull up in front of the Chocoholic Market in a matter of minutes. That’s why we have to be vigilant, honest and aware. And remember this, from page 299 of Bandwagon: It takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days of daily repetition to make a new behavior automatic….so, practice, practice, practice!

The holidays are here. And you may be feeling a little nervous about the challenges of upcoming celebrations if your weight loss surgery was recent. Then again, you may be over confident and think that weight loss surgery is all you need to protect against weight regain. In either case, some holiday survival tips are in order. Our discipline to diet and health will be tested time and again across the holidays. And so you should implement a holiday plan for success if you are sincere about maintaining your current weight through the tangle of holiday temptations. Gain Support from Family and Friends Be social and use your allies. Talk to them in advance about not pressuring you to eat foods that will sabotage your diet, if need be. And if you are feeling pressured, make them aware and ask for their support. If all else fails, politely excuse yourself and go somewhere for a 5-minute break (the bathroom if you must). When you return, the conversation focus likely will have moved onto another topic. Learn more “Post Weight Loss Surgery Holiday Survival Tips.” Similarly at these gatherings you may have to handle harsh or inappropriate comments about your bariatric surgery. People make inappropriate remarks for a few different reasons. Some have poor filters while others may think they are being helpful. Some have poor boundaries and others may be passive aggressive. Too much to drink is always a possibility. People can be rude and that includes family members. Learning to cope in a healthy way is the best choice, so here are some suggestions about what to do if an inappropriate comment is passed: Read, “Coping Skills after Weight Loss Surgery.” Practical Tips for Controlling Portion Sizes A moderate, healthy snack just before a celebration can help to control hunger and thus begin the afternoon or evening with a more reasonable appetite. Remember when making your plate that small portions of favorite foods are a better choice than tasting a little bit of every dish. And by all means do not sit by the serving tables. Mingle away from where the food is displayed. Controlling portion sizes is a vital addition to your plan! Get more tips, read, “Controlling Portion Sizes at the Holidays.” Weight Gain at the Holidays Isn't Just About Food Some people overeat at the holidays because there are seduced by rich holiday foods. Others have different motivations. They use food to relieve the holiday stress that inevitably creeps in for so many. Celebration and pressure often accompany one another. Some people overcompensate for the pending New Year’s diet resolution and eat with abandon through the holidays. Other people succumb to unrestrained eating because of a single episode of overindulgence. A breach of discipline can open the floodgates to weight gain at the holidays. Continue reading, “The Skinny on Weight Gain at the Holidays.” It’s Not All about Eating Healthy at Parties It is important to take the focus off of eating and instead turn your attention to the friendships and conversations around you. This is a time to give your attention to someone rather than some food thing. Before my gastric bypass, all I could think about was the food and drink being served. I was oblivious to what was happening around me! That has long ago changed for me… the reverence and importance of the gathering of friends and family is most important. For me it is a time of gaiety. And that is the richest experience of all. Respect yourself and your weight loss this holiday season. Living larger than ever, My Bariatric Life

I wish someone told me you could still gain weight with the band. I was always under the assumption that you wouldn't be able to eat enough to gain anything back. I gained 30 pounds!!! I have since lost 32 but, that was really through Nutrisystem. Band alone doesn't work for me. I need someone to tell me what to eat. Less food, less metabolism and weight gain for me.

It’s tough being around loud, pushy people who voice every emotion they feel when they feel it. On the opposite end of the spectrum and easier to be around are quiet people who don’t complain and keep their feelings to themselves. As it turns out, your body begins suffering physical symptoms when you hold unresolved emotional feelings inside. Research supports that the more the emotional baggage is felt internally, the worse it is for the body. Nowhere is this demonstrated as clearly as heart disease or with emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. Women’s bodies are another area that suffers from emotions held in is. According to experts in mind/body medicine, our emotions affect our bodies because they are linked to our bodies via our immune, endocrine and central nervous systems. Just as a broken heart affects our heart and can lead to death, what we feel affects our body and how effective it works. For women, emotions such as unresolved grief or anger at a partner can cause intestinal problems and headaches as easily as it can cause chronic pelvic pain, and many other bodily issues. Holding in emotions weakens your body’s immune system which make it tougher to ward off colds, infections, and when you do get sick you have a more difficult time getting well. Observing a list of body functions affected when women (or men) hold in their emotional baggage is staggering. This is why when you become ill it is so important to evaluate what you are feeling, and what you have been feeling for the past six months because some illnesses, such as rheumatoid arthritis, may take months to become symptomatic. Constipation or diarrhea, as well as stomach pain/ulcers Back/Neck pain Depression Insomnia High blood pressure Anxiety/Depression Weight gain or loss (eating disorders always have an emotional aspect) Sexual problems Rheumatoid arthritis Fibromyalgia Asthma Cancers (for example, pancreatic cancer may present with depression before the patient is symptomatic with cancer) Emotional healing is very different from physical healing. When I worked with cancer patients I was reminded of this fact many times. The tumor went away, and the body healed, but the mind lingered sometimes for years over the experience of losing hair, a body part and/or trust in your body. Counseling becomes a wonderful way to release pent up feelings so you can heal emotionally. There are many ways you can help your loved one or yourself unpack your emotional baggage. Try these suggestions and practice them frequently. Laugh as much as you can. Watch funny videos and allow yourself to laugh out loud. Cry when you need to, don’t hold it in, and just let it flow. Practice voicing, “I’m angry.” You don’t have to do an action with it, just say it out loud and say why. Mindful actions. Before you take any medication for a headache, tummy ache, backache, to stay awake, or to fall asleep, ask yourself what am I holding on to. Begin jotting things down. This small action offers huge rewards. Massages are a common treatment for people who have gone through horrendous crisis, and they’re also a wonderful treatment for fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. Breathe and let go of held in emotional pain as the therapist works on the body part that holds the physical pain. Medical care has come a long way with advancements in treating so many illnesses. Your body is more than physical though; there is an emotional and soulful part, which is more complicated to treat. Knowing yourself and being able to express uncomfortable feelings is healthy, not only for your mind, but for your body and soul as well. –Mary Jo Rapini

This can all get more intense around the holidays. You need even more discipline and planning when there are holiday treats everywhere you turn. People may notice your weight loss even more because you may see them only once a year. And the ones who share their negative opinions of weight loss surgery may be your relatives. It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and get down on yourself during this season. But you’ll get through it, and come out on the other side ready to keep losing weight and following a healthy lifestyle. Staying positive helps. Here are some of the barriers you might come across, and how you can try to overcome them and stay positive. Comments from Other People Regarding Your Weight or Weight Loss Surgery You probably get some comments all year. People may notice your weight loss, or want to talk about your weight loss surgery once they find out about it. But during the holidays, this can get nearly unbearable. The people noticing your weight loss may be friends or family who are in town only once a year, and haven’t seen you since last year. They can be shocked at, proud of, or jealous of your weight loss, and any of these reactions can be uncomfortable if you’re not the type to enjoy attention. The other set of comments you might get include comments on your weight loss surgery. Almost every bariatric surgery patient has heard some unfair things about bariatric surgery, such as people saying that it’s “cheating.” What makes them worse now is when they come from family members. These comments can get you down. You may start to feel self-conscious about your body. You may feel defensive about your decisions. The negative feelings can wear you down. What to do about it. You have a few different options here. First, try talking to the people who are making the comments. For example, tell them: “Thank you for complimenting me on my weight loss. I appreciate it, but it makes me feel self-conscious. Do you mind not mentioning it, especially in front of other people?” “Thank you for your concern over my weight, but I think I’m doing okay. I’m working closely with my doctor and surgeon, and they both agree that I still have a few pounds to lose.” “I wish weight loss surgery were a magic solution, but it’s actually not. Would you like to hear about how it works and what I have to do to lose weight? Until you tell them directly, people may honestly not realize that it bothers you to hear comments about your weight. They may not know that weight loss surgery isn’t magic, and that you really do work hard every single day to lose weight and stay healthy. Talking won’t solve every problem. The next step is to prepare for the comments. If you know they’re coming, you can put up your guard mentally so they don’t get a reaction out of you or make you feel bad or defensive. You can also recruit a few allies, such as close friends, your spouse, or your parents. Ask them to stick with you at parties and gatherings so they can change the subject if your weight loss or weight loss surgery come up. Feeling Guilty. You go to a party. You eat a bit of this and a little of that, and then find yourself in the bathroom with dumping syndrome. Or you sneak in a treat here and a taste there, and at your weekly weigh-in, you find that you’ve gained weight. Bad eating and weight gain happen all the time during the holidays, and they can make you feel guilty. The problem is that guilt isn’t usually very productive. It’s more likely to drag you into a vicious cycle of overeating, feeling guilty, and overeating. What to do about it. First, forgive yourself. You can’t work with yourself if you’re mad at yourself. Admit you did something you’re not proud of, then accept your apology to yourself. It’s time to move on. Next, focus on the future. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future. Recognize that you feel guilty, figure out why you have been making poor choices, and think of what you can do to do better next time. Log every bite, good or bad. Something as simple as keeping an honest record of what you eat is enough to stop you from taking that extra bite. Predict problems, and avoid them. If you know you can’t pass up fudge, don’t walk by the candy shop with free samples in the mall. Plan ahead. Take a salad, some chicken skewers, or a basket of mandarin oranges to your next holiday party so you can be sure there will be healthy food to eat. Feeling Deprived. The holidays are filled with delicious food. There’s candy at work, Christmas cookies from your neighbors, egg nog and finger foods at parties, and feasts with family. The problem is, you can’t have any of it. At least, you can’t eat the way you could before weight loss surgery. You’re limited to a few bites of certain treats. It’s easy to feel deprived. Your feelings can be even worse if you feel sorry for yourself for “needing” to work out, especially if you’re getting up early or staying up late to squeeze in a workout. The solution. This one’s not easy, but you can make it a lot better by changing your attitude. First, know that you’re not alone. Everyone feels that way. Don’t believe it? Go up to the most fit-looking person you know and ask. They will tell you that they are tempted by the holiday food, and they work very hard not to overeat. They’ll also tell you that they have to work to make exercise a priority during this busy season. Next, try to think about what you’ve gained by changing your lifestyle, and not about what you’ve lost. Sure, you can’t eat frosted cinnamon rolls anymore because they’ll give you an obstruction or dumping syndrome, but you can keep up with your friends at the mall. Or, you can’t drink spiked eggnog at Christmas parties, but you can fit into a flattering dress or suit to wear to the party. The holidays are about celebrating, being grateful, and appreciating friends and family, but you’re not alone if you find yourself getting down during the season. Weight loss surgery changes your life, and some of the changes can be magnified during this time. You can fight this by staying positive and planning ahead – just like you do to succeed the rest of the year.

A hernia doesn't cause weight gain. Calories do.

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. I was banded in March and am down 33lbs. My pcos symptoms are slowly fading. Good to know there are others out there as frustrated as I was with the catch 22 of having a diagnosis that causes weight gain while the only "cure" for it is weight loss. Best decision I ever made!

I was first diagnosed with PCOS when I was about 18 years old, this was around 1992. At that time, little was known about PCOS. I was basically prescribed birth control pills to regulate my periods. I think I was probably around 200 lbs then. I actually participated in a clinical trial at a research hospital where they were researching the use of metformin to treat PCOS (yes, it's been a while:/). Gradually, the weight gain, painful acne, facial hair, diabetes, high cholesterol, high triglycerides snowballed. All that became complicated by clinical depression. By the time I was 30, I weighed more than 300 lbs. I could not understand why I continually failed at weight loss attempts. I had graduated colleges with honors, earned a Masters Degree, and excelled in my career....I knew I was not lazy nor ignorant, but I could not succeed with weight loss no matter how hard I tried. The depression spiraled out of control and I generally stopped caring about my health, defeated. At 32 years old, I topped the scales at 333lbs. Then I began having long, heavy periods which was my body screaming that something was wrong...endometrial cancer. In 2006 I had a complete hysterectomy at age 32. Single, no children, devastated. Then came medical menopause. I eventually began to feel better and was able to lose down to about 265 on my own with diet and exercise, but it was a hard, hard struggle. From 2008 until 2012 I bounced around on the scale from 265 to 280 or so. My diabetes was out of control, cholesterol very high. I had lap band surgery in March, 2013 weighing 258. Today I weigh 222. My recent lab work revealed excellent control of the diabetes, cholesterol that is only slightly elevated. My skin/complexion has never looked better. I sleep so good at night and wake up rested. I want to lose down to about 180. I don't have periods any more due to the surgery, but I do feel that the WLS has helped to alleviate the PCOS symptoms. PCOS is more than just a disease of infertility. It affects your whole body and your whole life. It is nothing to deny or to play around with. Oh how I wish I had the information years ago that I have now. I would have had lap band surgery years ago. The lifestyle for wls still requires work and conscious decisions to make your health a priority, but the difference for me is that the work I put in actually yields results! Yesterday I bought a size 18 pants when it wasn't too long ago I barely squeezed into a 28. The NSVs are great too! I know that was a long post, but I hope it helps someone.

I was denied from weight gain and my denial letter only had one reason... The other seems like either the BMI criteria wasn't met or the doctor didn't send any records that she has been overweight for a period of time But I would call the insurance company to clear it up...

Was pretty simple for me, I have never been afraid to die, I am just not ready. I gained ALOT of weight after quitting smoking 9 years ago. Because of the weight gain I have HBP, High Cholesterol, sleep Apnea, Diabetes, Neurapathy in my feet terribly. I have degenerative joint disease in my back and knees and my knees are shot now that the doc said if I do not get the weight off I will be in a wheelchair in a year or so. I also have a collapsed arch in my left foot and lots of preblems there. I lost both parents at a young age due to massive heart attacks and my Dad was in great shape when he died. I lost my Mom 4 years ago and 5 months later my sister gave birth to the greatest thing to ever happen to me and that was a little Boy. He is my pride and Joy, I watch him every day while she works and miss him when he is not around. I want to be able to go to his baseball games that will be starting in a couple years. Right now I cannot walk far to get to the fields and cannot go to his older Brothers games. Just about my whole family is obese and I went over to talk to my Uncle and Aunt about my decision to have this surgery 2 months ago. I told him that I did not want to end up like him, in a wheelchair and never leaving the house. I did not want to be like my Grandma, 2 other Uncles and my Mom and two other Aunts. So I was going to do something about it. He was all behind me and so very supportive...Well he passed away a week ago today from heart problems brought on by his obesity. He was over 500 lbs. Everyone has passed away now because of problems that came up by their obesity. I have one Aunt still alive, but she does not leave the house. So for all those reasons and to see my sunshine grow up into a man and marry and have children of his own is my dream and focus now. With my determination and support I know I will do it.... Thanks, Rob

Lacecute, I’m sorry that your dealing with this, but I hate to say that this is a rude awakening for you any will be for many others. This surgery is a tool to help assist with your weight loss. You still have to put the work in as you stated your doing. You will find in your journey weight gains and MANY stalls. The stalls could last 1 or 2 weeks, later in my journey my stalls lasted longer. Your not even two months out so your doing awesome with your weight loss. One thing you don’t want to do is compare your journey to someone else. Everyone is different! This will not happen overnight, please keep that in mind. As the person said prior to increase your food intake, Men’s bodies are different as well and will need more calories than a woman. When you come across a stall increase your protein and water intake. Stay focused on the end result, and to reach the end result don’t add in your triggers or those things that are not good for you I.e. chips. There are healthy options if you desire those guilty pleasures. I would definitely wait until later in your journey to indulge, bad habits now lead to more bad habits. Don’t be so hard on yourself the surgery is working and your doing awesome with your weight loss thus far!

:sad:Hello everyone! I got on the scale this morning because I was feeling kind of bloated in the past few days. I have gained 4 pds! I know that "my monthly Friend" will be starting soon. Does this effect my weight loss? I think I usually do gain during that time however, I don't think that its going to start until later next week. So, I don't know if that IS it or not? I have never felt this bloated before! Should I be worried or is this normal? I have been able to eat more ( I am almost 4 weeks post op) and I haven't had a problem at all with any food...IS this normal? Should I feel some sort of restriction? OH boy am I kind of depressed about this weight gain! Can you guys help! Thank you

Peace with food and weight loss that lasts are possible, and yet, these aren’t the places where most women who struggle with overeating end up. Emotional eating and overeating can feel like a never-ending battle and a roller coaster ride of diets, gimmicks, and “new” approaches that don’t take you where you want to go. It doesn’t have to be this way. Here are some common traps that even the smartest women fall for and the success strategies you can use to avoid them: 1. Getting too focused on what to eat. Cycles of overeating and weight gain are rarely fixed by focusing only on the food. A focus on what to eat doesn’t address or fix the situations, feelings, or relationships that may be triggering overeating. Yes, portion size matters and sometimes food intolerances or metabolic difficulties cause weight gain. However, even these situations become clearer and easier to sort out when you start listening to yourself and paying attention to how you feel, instead of focusing your attention on every bite, calorie, or fat gram that you put into your mouth. 2. Disregarding what you really need. You know yourself better than anyone. Instead of focusing on what “should” work and what you “should” do, take this bold step that many high-achieving women skip: Ask yourself what you really need to be successful—and then give it to yourself. You’re likely to spend less time, energy, heartache and even money in the long run when you trust your inner wisdom. Do you need the help of an expert? Be honest about that. Better tools to deal with stress or difficult emotions? Do you need some one-on-one mentoring or support? Don’t cheat yourself. Investing in what you know to be true and getting the targeted help you need will likely make more of a difference than all the self-help books you can’t figure out how to make work for you. Too many women spend too much money on solutions that aren’t comprehensive or individualized enough and don’t really meet their needs. Not only does this lead to failure, it burns up your hope and your sense of effectiveness. Do you feel like you know what you need but it isn’t possible? Don’t let that stop you. Ask yourself what it would take to make it happen and ask what is do-able that would start allowing you to have more of what you need. Start believing that you deserve to get what you need and start asking for it. You might be surprised what shows up. 3. Refusing to ask for help. High-achievers can fall into the trap of believing that lifestyle change has to happen solo. Many women who are successful in other areas of their lives feel embarrassed and even ashamed of their struggles with overeating. They feel like they are alone in their struggles. Unfortunately, not reaching out for help increases the sense of isolation and decreases your potential effectiveness. Asking for help might be the scariest step you take in order to make peace with food, but stepping outside of your own head, your own mindset, beliefs, and traps, can start change happening—and quickly. 4. Not addressing time issues. My heart almost broke when I heard an outwardly successful professional woman tell me that given the hectic state of her life, she believed that she wouldn’t be able to focus on her own goals for the next ten years. Really? What kind of life is that and what kind of example are you living? Change requires a commitment to making it happen. Whether it’s taking the time to attend a class, listen to audios, create a plan for healthy meals, or meet with a coach, if you don’t create the time, it isn’t really a priority. Honest truth. If you need help learning how to make or find the time, or how to put yourself first, make this your first action step. Coaching Challenge: What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to making peace with food? Where do you get stuck or thrown off course? Please join the conversation by sharing a comment. I’d love to hear from you. Then, be bold and share one step you will take to start doing it differently. Peace with food is possible. I challenge you to go for it.

Dr. Adeyeri, Thanks for this article for those of us (myself included) who can find the scale creeping up. It’s a good reminder to take responsibility and face reality instead of denying the weight gain or acting like we’re not sure why the scale is going up. Thanks for the great advice. Going back to the beginning always works. Reaching out for help at support groups and anywhere else is good, too, because it helps us hold ourselves accountable. I’d also suggest troubleshooting – sitting down to try to figure out where we might be going wrong. Small changes can creep in without us noticing beforehand, and make us gain weight. Thanks for the article!

People who have undergone bariatric surgery know the weight loss battle does not end in the operating room. Months and even years after surgery, some weight can slowly creep back on. But this isn't a time to panic because now you have the tools to overcome a little setback and regain control of your weight. This time, you are in charge. One of the lessons you learn after weight loss surgery is that you are in charge of your health, diet and exercise program. The food no longer rules the roost--you do. The truth of the matter is no matter what the scale says, 110 or 310, everyone puts on a few pounds now and then. As a bariatric surgeon in New Jersey for more than 10 years, one of the biggest anxiety triggers for patients is weight gain. "That's it--it's over--I'm going to gain all the weight back." Of course that's not true. To get back on pace, I’ve listed a few essential steps to help get you back on track to dropping the pounds once again: • Go back to the beginning Post-surgery, you probably followed your healthcare team’s advice to the letter. But as time passed, and you looked and felt healthier, you may have started to deviate from those dietary and exercise guidelines. Pull out your notes and review the program guidelines that brought you this far. Get back on the scale once a week and fire up your food journal again. • Get thyself to the nearest support group ─ STAT Weight loss is a personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. Online support groups on BariatricPal.com are great secondary resources to live weekly or monthly groups with your bariatric doctor or hospital. There is support all-around you, reach out and take it. • Work it out Are you using the ‘too tired’ reason for missing a trip to the gym or 30 minute fast walk around the neighborhood? If you need energy, you know how to get it—get up, get out and get moving. “Too busy,” you say? Remember, only you can prioritize your health and wellness. You matter—make time for your health every single day. • Come to terms with the weight gain This doesn’t mean blaming yourself. Rather, be forthright about how and why it happened and pat yourself on the back that you’ve recognized it now—not later. There’s no need to beat yourself up. You have already done the hard part by recognizing some weight has crept back on. That in itself shows you are going to battle back. We encourage our patients at Sterling Surgicare to call us if they feel frustrated or defeated--everyone needs a pep talk now and then. Remember there are many people supporting you 24/7 in this effort. Life is filled with occasional side-steps and set-backs. It is part of making us who we are. Make a plan, regroup, recommit. You can do this.

Yes that's what my doctor just told me thank god it's only water [emoji5] [emoji5] And I'm drinking water a lot and wàlking that's why i was shocked when i saw the weight gain [emoji23] [emoji23] Sent from my SM-G935F using BariatricPal mobile app

I am almost 3 months out, and have had no complications as of now. I did have issues with constipation, but remedied that by leaving low carb for a more natural diet. I also had issues with acid reflux, but I got rid of that several weeks ago by going on a regimen of good old APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. Gassygurl, perhaps this will help you as well. I take 2 Tbsp per day. It is really good for you as well. Before the ACV, I was taking Prilosec...didn't want the side effects of long term usage. Lainey, having second thoughts is completely normal. We all have them. I was ready for surgery after decades of battling weight gains (and losing), but I still had thoughts of backing out. I am happy that I didn't give into them. I will say that you must get your snacking under control if you intend to be successful long-term. This surgery helps you to eat less, but does not stop you from eating sweets and salty snacks. You can still eat just as much as you did before surgery. I go out to eat with family and friends every Thursday after my daughter's volleyball game. I eat well. I can find a salad or protein and veggies anywhere, so it isn't an issue.