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Haven't updated this thing in a while. It's just to keep me accountable and I know others can read this so feel free to chime in. I'm officially almost entering my 7th month of post op life from my gastric bypass. I feel so much better and I've lost over 100 lbs but there are days I still feel like it won't all really matter at all until I am stick skinny (which wouldn't be possible without plastics and even then I don't think so). I hate that I think that way - it makes it hard to be happy for myself and then that feeds into not meeting my goals. 

I was in a weight loss rut for a while there - like the whole month of August basically was me just gaining and losing the same 4 lbs. I figured it was just a weight loss stall part of the process because I hear there's a big stall 6 months out. I also was macro and calorie counting but I was drinking more alcohol than I ever have since surgery. I think that contributed to it immensely. Just to be clear I wasn't drinking out of transfer addiction - just going to more social events and dinners because my life has gotten so incredibly busy. It's amazing because I have the confidence to go out and be social now but it makes it harder to navigate the strict calorie limits and hydration goals when you're always hanging out with people. 

Anyway, I really put a lot of thought into calories the past two weeks and stopped drinking too. I finally broke my stall. I went from 240 to 236 and it seems to be sticking. I'm at this weird part in the surgery journey where the honeymoon is over. I no longer get food stuck in my esophagus on the regular but I have noticed I am starting to feel nauseous after eating (probably because I don't have the limitation of the food getting stuck) so I don't realize how much my body is actually okay with. 

So now I'm at this point where I'm figuring out how much of different types of foods I can really eat without making myself nauseous. It's a work in progress but I'm determined. I'm usually good around 1/2 a cup of carbs and 1-1.5 cups of vegetables. Protein is always different. Sometimes I can eat it no problem, others it's one of the only foods that still get "stuck". I try not to go crazy counting calories because I have a history of eating disorders. I mainly try to stay under 1300 calories. My BMR is around 1900 right now. Instead of counting every single morsel, I make sure I eat more in the beginning of the day so I don't snack at night and I weigh my food if it's a fat or carb. 

I'd really like to add more exercise back into the equation but I've been on my *ss for the past 2 weeks because I sprained my tailbone. It's finally better so I'm going to try doing a mile run and a 2 mile walk at least 3 times a week to start out. Weathers also clearing up for outdoor runs and I'd like to get my sweat on anyway. 

But anyway, I feel like I'm at this point of my surgery journey that doesn't get talking about a lot. The pre op and right after surgery phases are talked about most but the most important part seems to be what happens after all the cool perks start dying down? Hunger comes back, or you're able to increase portions, introduce foods back, etc. I'd love to talk to others about this point just for support. I know it just comes down to tracking and movement but sometimes it does feel like you're doing it all and those numbers won't budge (they don't go up, but they don't go down). For me it's best not to obsess over the number. I can get really depressed checking my weight everyday. I'm down to checking about 3 times a month now. 

Not sure what else I'm trying to say here. Just want to keep going. My first goal weight was 220 that I set for myself. I'm about 15 lbs away from it. I think once I hit 220 and maintain it for 2 months I'll set a new goal weight for 200 lbs. I think at that point I'll be ready for plastics. I'd love to have my arms tightened, my stomach skin removed and my boobs lifted. Everything else I can take or leave haha