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TW: mental health issues, suicide, infertility I've gotten those comments already (only 3 months in, and nowhere near my goal weight), and in the past during other diet-based weight loss. I used to try to convince myself that these people mean well, that they're trying to show they care, or trying to give backhanded compliments. 2024 me? Nah. They're being petty, they're being bullies, they're jealous, they feel like your success highlights any issues they fault with their own body, etc. The only time I successfully lost weight 'on my own' through diet and exercise, I ended up gaining it all back and more -- and while I logically know it was my own choices that led to it, there was also my 'best friend' telling me that I looked like I was dying, that I looked like a cancer patient, etc, and then inviting me over and peer pressuring me into the most unhealthy foods. I was young and I had always been easily intimated / manipulated by her; I had always had **** self esteem and found my own value only through what others said they valued of me, etc. I know I was in a bad mental place to begin with. But it was absolutely brutal. But nobody, nobody, should be saying these kinds of things to another. Whether you're close to each other or barely know each other. Whether they're 'teasing' or not. It would be absolutely awesome if the world / society could normalize not making un-asked for comments about other people's looks. How about we apply 'consent' when it comes to these sorts of conversations? FFS. I'm sure I'm not the only one whom has had comments made while they were overweight. People, strangers, asking if you're pregnant, if you're female presenting. ((Afterwards, I always wished I could go back in time and cause a scene -- cause no, asshat, I'm actually unable to have children and it ruined several relationships and led to depression and suicidal ideation. But thanks for giving me that extra scoop of pasta sauce since it looks like I'm "eating for two.")) So many people have body issues, weight related or otherwise. Body dysmorphia. Mental health issues. Triggers. And what right does any person have to comment on someone else's appearance? If someone wants to go to the grocery store in their pjs, what's it to you? If someone got a new hair cut and you really don't like it, stfu. If someone lost over half their body weight, why do you feel entitled to question them about it or tell them you liked them better with a little more meat on their bones? (Not... you. You know. Societal 'You'.) There's a big difference between saying "Wow, you're looking good today" or "Is that a new shirt? It looks great on you" and letting the compliment receiver decide if they want to open the conversation up from there, and saying things like "Oh god, you're losing so much you're gonna disappear" or "ugh, you're losing so much weight, enough already." ... anyway. I'll end my venting-vomit with: I'm trying so hard these days to have the confidence in setting my own boundaries and actually enforcing them. I'm starting to figure out lines I can say when people cross them. I'm trying not to let my inner rage at a world full of entitled bullies make me someone who bullies back, but yeah, maybe next time someone seems fit to complain about my looks I'll find something they probably don't want to talk about either. If I'm fair game, so are they. Eat some karma. 😈

If my math is right, you're already at 12% total weight loss. My program gives a range of 22-30% total loss in the first year or two (for gastric bypass/RNY; for sleeve it was lower) You're well, well, well on your way at only 2.5 months in. Be proud of yourself. And honestly? Even when the weight loss slows down and you feel like you're fighting for the next pound to come off? Be proud of yourself then, too. Cause it's your choice every morning when you wake up to continue making the healthiest choices for your own body and health. And you're doing it. There are gonna be stalls, and the first few months weight seems to come off a lot easier -- so it will likely get slower. But you'll get there -- we'll get there. We're all on similar journeys here, but each one is going to be different. ...And as other have said, while comparison can be good when you're looking to find support for stuff we're all going through, when it comes to exact numbers (inches, pounds, etc) it's not really healthy to compare. Everyone's starting from a completely different place, with different programs, different comorbidities, different ancillary health issues, etc.

Thank you for the reassurance and encouragement! I suppose it’s good that these things are happening now so that I can raise these concerns with the Bariatric team when the time comes. Hopefully my complaint will be addressed and I will be able to discuss my concerns with the surgery without losing my rag (hair-trigger at times - thanks menopause!)

That is honestly an amazing loss! I think the key thing to remember here (as others have said) is that we are all different - our bodies all have their own individual quirks, different metabolic set points & needs, so one persons weight loss may be +/- than yours, and that is normal! I have been speaking to this lovely person who had the same surgery as me, same surgeon, PCOS & everything, just the day before me. Her start weight was a little lower so I fully expected to lose weight at a quicker rate than her, but it was the opposite way around! I remember feeling a little upset that I wasn't keeping up with my peers, but I really had to check myself to remind myself that 1) it isn't a competition, and 2) my body is losing at the rate it needs to. You are doing amazingly, be proud of yourself! Celebrate every win, no matter how small

I'm up for my driver's license renewal and my face has changed due to the weight loss in the last 10 years. Sorry you had to go through that, but thank you so much for the heads up!

Below is a recap of the positives and negatives of my gastric surgery one year after the surgery. Positives: I am no longer a diabetic after 15 years of being a diabetic. I do not take any anti acid medication, I was on daily anti acid medication for 20 years. I no longer have GERD or Barrett’s Esophagus. I look good, I feel good, I lost 100 pounds and I am able to do things that I was unable to do before. Negatives: Lactose Intolerance: I inherited a lactose intolerance after the surgery and will never be able to enjoy dairy products like ice cream. Alcohol Abstinence: I will never be able to have a beer or a glass of wine, due to the high alcohol concentration in the body, so I have prohibition of alcohol consumption for life. Medication Absorption Issues: Significant Challenge: Post-surgery, the stomach processes medications differently, resulting in varied absorption rates. This issue is under-researched and poses a significant opportunity for further medical studies. Example: Treatment of infections such as UTIs can be complicated. Ineffective antibiotic absorption can lead to persistent infections and increased risk of complications. I had severe challenges with antibiotic absorption. I had repeated UTI incidents due to ineffective medication absorption that necessitated trying multiple antibiotics before finding an effective one that absorbed appropriately. Due to lack of research in this area, doctors have almost no knowledge of this and you have to become your own subject matter expert. Reduced Immunity: Increased susceptibility to infections, including: Cold Sores: Post-surgery imbalance in lysine and arginine levels resulted in frequent cold sores. Daily lysine supplements were recommended to manage this issue. This is one additional supplement I need to take daily. Fungal Infections: Significant weight loss altered skin physiology, leading to recurrent fungal infections in skin folds. Preventive measures include having antifungal prescriptions on standby. Nutritional Imbalances: Vitamins and Minerals: Maintaining a balance of essential nutrients is a constant challenge, truly a daily full time job. Taking vitamins, minerals and being able to change the amount based on blood test results is a life long commitment. Anemia: Despite taking supplements, anemia can still occur, this is a constant struggle for me. Mineral Toxicity: Excess minerals like phosphorus can lead to osteoporosis, indicating the fine line between deficiency and toxicity in nutrient management. This has been a challenge for me, my blood tests have consistently showed high phosphorous levels and nobody has an answer to this. I consulted several physicians including endocrinologist, nephrologist and my family doctor, with no answers thus far. Severe Hunger: Increased Hunger: Somewhere between 6 months and a year post-surgery, hunger pains became more intense than pre-surgery. The luxury of not being hungry all the time went away. Nobody talks extensively about this but lack of hunger goes away for all gastric surgery patients, hunger comes back and it is up to the individual to eat properly and not gain the weight back, which is very easy to do. Inability to Fast: Unlike before the surgery, fasting for even a day can cause severe physical reactions including shaking and an overwhelming feeling of malaise. I was unable to resolve the Atrial Fibrillation. This was the main reason for which I had this surgery since Australian studies were showing promising results curing AFib with weight loss. While the episodes are less frequent my AFib is still there. Conclusion: Gastric surgery offers weight loss benefits but comes with lifelong challenges that require constant vigilance and management. Thorough consideration and consultation with healthcare professionals are essential before proceeding with any gastric surgery.

You look absolutely amazing!! Congratulations on the weight loss. I don’t know how you do it with all the traveling. I think it takes some time for us to adjust to actually seeing ourselves thinner even after we have lost the weight. Even losing 45 lbs now I don’t always see myself thinner. Then I look at my English bulldog who also weighs 45 lbs and remind myself that I lost that much weight lol 😂 When I look at it that way it makes me see it differently. I am 18lbs away from my weight the surgeon wants me at but it is very slow going now. Some days I fluctuate between the same couple pounds instead of going down and making any real progress. Orientation at work already has given me a cough and stuffy nose. Too much time hibernating at home. I am anxious though to see if all the moving 8 hrs a day will get the weight dropping faster. I hope everyone continues to beat the scale and stay positive!! It looks like everyone is doing great!

I have been using Nioxin Stage 3, I do a bayalge with blond every 3 ish months and I will say using the shampoo, conditioner and scalp treatment REALLY REALLY helped! I also put a Rosemary oil in my hair the night before hair wash day (I only wash my hair 2x a week) My shedding IS SIGNIFIGANTLY less. I also use 2 TBLS of collagen in my profee every morning along and biotin with my morning vitamins.

How frustrating. Once it recognized you they should have let you restyle your hair and take another one. It’s kinda scary that we are so reliant on technology they don’t know what to do when there is an outlier like that.

That's fantastic progress, congratulations on your 7.5lb loss this week! It's great to hear you're noticing positive changes and feeling motivated. The idea of "shopping in your wardrobe" sounds like a fun and rewarding way to track your progress. Best of luck with your upcoming appointments and navigating the dietary changes. For decaf tea, Yorkshire Tea and PG Tips both do good decaf versions in the UK. Keep up the great work and stay positive—you're doing amazing! For natural supplements thenaturemeds is guarantee solution to all health problem.

Had to get a new driver’s licence today. They took the new picture which is then run through a facial recognition program where your new photo is compared to your old licence photo as proof of identity. Program runs & runs & runs. Comes back it’s not me. (Well it was when I looked in the mirror this morning.) Had to have another photo taken & had to pull my hair back. (Great. This will be my licence photo for years.) Again the program runs & runs & I’m sitting there with the woman processing my request waiting & waiting. I asked if there was an override to this step. No she says. What happens if it still doesn’t recognise me? We keep taking pictures until it does or the license can’t be issued she says. It does realise I’m 10 years older I ask then I realise: 10 years & 42kgs lighter. Oh… Thankfully, the program decided it was me with the second photo & my new licence will be sent to me in 21 days. (Don’t get me started on that. What happened to them producing the licence there & then & your new licence is warm from the laminated printing process.) Anyone else have unexpected experiences because of their weight loss?

The progress in your pictures is awesome. My scars are lighter, two of them are small but you can still see them somewhat. With you being normal BMI, I would say it's going to take time to get to your goal. Travelling a lot will have something to do with it as well. I want to get under 200 lbs. before my knee replacement in October. I know, once I have that done. Weight loss will probably be nonexistent for a couple months.

Congratulations on your weight loss. I hope your sweating issue has resolved with your being closer to goal. I have question though? Do you recall the name of the rx your dermatologist gave you for sweating? I have a similar issue which I know is exacerbated by my weight but even when I lost weight with the sleeve it was still an issue. It’s horrible to live with. I have seen every specialist and had every test I can think of. My dermatologist gave me oxybutwnin which was great for my bladder but did nothing for the sweating. I would be thrilled to know that thete is another option.

@BlueParis, you look amazing. I wish you didn't have so much societal pressure to be crazy thin. Being a healthy weight should matter most, then feeling good. I grew up in southern California and always felt pressured to be thinner than I was. Even when I was 116 pounds, I was told, "You're getting there." Looking back, I looked sickly thin for my frame. My scars are pretty dark, too, especially the largest one. The others are quite small and not that noticeable. I saw my primary doctor today and she wasn't at all worried about my A1C being at 6.1. She said we'll take another look at it in 6 months. She was very happy with all my numbers and thrilled about my weight loss. She said I was "boring and making her job so easy." That was a first!

I’m 6 years out & if I tried to eat a “normal” meal I would throw up. I can only eat about 3 1/2oz at a time. This means I have to eat 5 times a day. My surgeon even made my pouch a little bigger because I didn’t need a by pass for weight loss but because my esophagus was in an L shape & this was the best way to correct it. Try eating smaller portions.

Congratulations on your loss. At least two of the reasons I have heard that some doctors seem to say steer clear of caffeine is because one it affects healing and two it makes you pee more which is counter productive if you are struggling to hydrate. There could be other reasons too but those are what I have heard.

To quote the man himself “do it for Yorkshire” (love a bit of Sean Bean!) That is SUCH good news regarding the tea! I hope my hospital has the same approach. I had read the Yorkshire Tea Decaf was actually the best and tasted like actual tea so I will get a little box and try it. I only ever drink coffee if I’m out so that’s not so much of a loss for me 😉 Well done on your loss too…how are you finding things post-op?

Congratulations on your loss so far! On the topic of tea - I know that everyone gets different recommendations, but I was told to either have weak or decaf tea in the first 3 weeks, and then after that I was okay! I have been having tea and coffee as normal now! Yorkshire Tea is best though 😍

A much better week than last week with a 7.5lb loss to show for it 😊 16.5lbs lost so far on this ‘try to eat healthier’ plan I have begun. It would be lovely to think that I could carry on like this, just losing weight quite happily and give the WLS a swerve but past history tells me that I will eventually pile weight back on (and more) so why set myself up for failure? I also know that I have a stall coming up, sometime between week 3 and week 7 if past experience is anything to go by. I just tell myself that it’s my body having a sulk because I’ve taken its goodies away, so it’s try to get me to give in by being stubborn. Huh…I have a 4 year old granddaughter who is the epitome of stubborn at times and if I can deal with her then this should hopefully be OK 😉 I had hubby take photos after my 1 stone loss, just so I can compare against the 1st photos. Oddly enough, I could see a teeny bit of difference, so that was a real positive sign. I’m looking forward to ‘shopping in my wardrobe’ once again - trying on all those clothes that are too small for me at present, and just generally getting some wear out of them. I just need to remind myself to try things on regularly, especially as I seem to have several sizes to go at! I read through all the information on my hospitals Bariatric area of their website yesterday, things like dietary advice, example menus, info regarding vitamins etc. From what I have read, it will be a couple of days of liquids, then 6 weeks of purée post-op before moving on to mashed foods for 4 weeks and then hopefully reintroducing normal foods. I now understand why bread, over-cooked rice and pasta are to be avoided but still not sure about caffeine? I am a tea junky so I will have to find a decent decaf to try. Any recommendations UK people? Anyway, the next couple of months are busy, taken up with both physio appointments and, much more excitingly, the bariatric-related appointments. This week is Oximetry so hopefully that goes well. I hope everyone has a fantastic week. Onwards and downwards!

Its crazy how different every Dr is. Mine tells me the same things to strive for. 3 meals plus a snack no more than 4oz or 1/2 cup. But she 100% understands that I just can not physically do it yet at 2 month post op. So she absolutely tells me to supplement with shakes because it is more important to “try” to get to these guidelines while maintaining my protein intake for the health of my body. Right now she says is the time to take advantage of the weight loss, to try all the foods I can tolerate so I can build that healthy diet. But telling my I am not allowed to supplement will only discourage me and make me feel like a failure. She said these are your goals, and every day you work to make it to these goals. But 3 priorities over everything. Water Protein vitamins…..

i really depends if you can handle it. lots on here cannot, as it gives them angst and anxiety. if this is the case for you then don't do it. not worth it, honestly. the ultimate goal is to be able to maintain your weight LONG TERM (whatever weight that may be) more or less effortlessly. if it takes too much effort, gives you too much angst, is too restrictive and/or goes against your chosen lifestyle, then eventually, ultimately, it will let you down. case in point: a was a card-carrying carb-o-phobic. during weight loss phase and the first year of maintenance, i limited myself to 20g NET carbs a day (which is basically nothing). during that time, i was all, hells ya, i can do this forever! spoiler alert: i couldn't. pizza and pasta in italy has carbs. as does rice in asia, and mangos and bananas in the caribbean. there are no bariatric-friendly tasting menus at Michelin Star restaurants. i am an avid traveller and latest-and-greatest-restaurant-frequenter sprinkled with a touch of party-goer. and most likely a a high-functioning alcoholic. the low-to-no-carb M.O.just didn't fit. so i just ate it all. granted, i am an exercise addict and have (self-described) superhuman restriction, so it works for ME. my M.O. may not work for others. aside: i am almost 6 years post op and have maintained below goal weight this entire time. i look and feel pretty effing awesome, despite all the shite i eat and drink. again, i think this is just a personality thing. i am totally anal and LOVE stats and spreadsheets and data gathering and analysis, i get hot and heavy for graphs and rows and rows of aggregated data. so when you ask how do i NOT get bored..i answer with HOW COULD I POSSIBLY GET BORED???? this shite is RIVETING. it is legitimately FUN for me. and for those who don't share my specific brand of craziness, what i do is probably perceived as bonkers. but thats cool, different strokes and all that. the lesson here (as it always and forever shall be) is: Find what works for YOU, and do THAT. there will be a billion and one people on here and elsewhere that will tell you what to do and how to do it. they will tell you that this is terrible and that is the only way that will work. take from them what works and chuck the the rest. good luck! p.s. you look AWESOME!!!

Very Very sorry for your loss. Sending love and prayers your way.

Haven’t had a revision @FifiLux, but I think if I was in your situation, I‘d ask for a second opinion or tell your surgeon you‘re not ready/interested now but will keep it in mind as a possible option in the future. Considering your GERD is so mild & manageable, there doesn’t seem to be a medical reason for the revision. If you are happy with your weight loss (& you should be - congratulations) what is the need for a revision for additional weight loss? At ten months, you have plenty of time to lose any additional weight you may want to lose (many of us continue to lose for a total of 1-2 years). The cynical side of me wonders if your surgeon wants to buy a new house, go on an overseas holiday, etc. Said cynical. 😁

Only you know the answer. Simply because you know your history with weight loss & gain & you know yourself best. You have to be ready, because it’s not easy & there’s a lot of work you have to do. If you need more time, that’s fine. As @ms.sss said, you’ll be ready when you’re ready. For me, the surgery provided an opportunity & the time to really understand my relationship with food. I regularly dieted & until the last few years, I could lose weight but as soon as I stopped the diet I returned to eating the same way I always did, for the same reasons & in the same situations. And of course I’d regain the weight I lost. With the surgery & the post surgery eating plan I slowly developed a way of eating I was comfortable with. I worked out what foods were best for me & which weren’t. I became more aware of portion size. And I learnt to recognise the situations (physical, emotional or psychologically) & behaviours that influenced my eating. Because it was a slow process, it was easy to adopt & adapt to my new eating style. Something that diets never did & I never did while dieting. I realised I saw diets as restrictive & a punishment. Now, how I eat is just how I eat. All the best whatever you choose to do.

What are the best supplements for weight loss?