Search the Community

Best of luck Denise - I hope things are going well and you are on the mend already! I dont mind sharing what meds I take - not at all. I currently take Wellbutrin SR - the Sr stands for slow release I believe, I am supposed to take one in the am and another later in the day but oneseems just fine. I was prescribed this medicine when I wanted to stop smoking (which I did on November 1, 2010 after 28 years of a pack and a half a day habit.) My doc prescribed Wellbutrin because I have anxiety issues - mentioning that the other popular smoking cessation drug Chantix, could send folks with anxiety into a tail spin ( meaning it can really ramp you up). I asked my GP how it works and she said with a chuckle that they really aren't sure why it works so well to help quit smoking. It is not an SSRI, I have a long and diverse history with those as well. The nice thing about the Wellbutrin is that it does not have the heinous side effect of killing the libido or making it so that one cannot reach climax - which I hear is common. My docs at the WL surgery office have kept me on the Wellbutrin, as it also has a positive effect for folks trying to lose and maintain their weight, I don't notice a huge difference in how I feel with it - I do know that I seem to be on a much more even keel than in the past. I'll take it. I also take a lot of anti-histamines for allergy and dermatological issues - I worked with accelerated solvents and oxidizing chemicals for decades and I am hyper sensitive to my environment. My skin, eyes, and mucous membranes are super easy to irritate - so it is a continual battle to keep inflammation at bay. Interestingly enough - anti-histamines are also considered useful in the treatment of generalized anxiety symptoms - which I have along with PTSD/acute anxiety (i.e. panic disorder) in a nutshell, a brutally abusive childhood spent with a raging alcoholic stepdad and a horrifying car crash in my early 20's that put me out of commission for a year are big elements of where this all came from - 'hi, nothing, nowhere is a safe place to be.' and welcome to using food as a substance to soothe and disappear. I take Klonopin when life is just too edgy, and when I know I will be in the passenger seat of the car for a long trip. I used to take this one daily just to get through the day in the late 90's when I finally found my way to the therapists couch. The potent cocktail of drugs I used to take daily were Zoloft, Trazadone at bedtime, and Ativan and then Klonopin(Clonazepam) on a daily basis. I was in rough shape back then, confronting issues for the first time. I went to therapy 3 times a week and then was in an eating disorder group as well - which was challenging as most of the other members were anorectics and bulimics, which while very similar to bingers/compulsive overeaters (meaning that one can turn into the other pretty easily they say.) those folks can be very hard on those they few as inferior. So now I just use Wellbutrin and the clonazepam as needed, and a lot of anti-histamines - hubby and I take the Safeway brand sleepy medicine - which is just Benadryl but a whole lot cheaper - if you look at the price on Zeequil, its the same stuff and they just charge an arm and a leg. Diphenhydramine is the anti-histamine. I have heard good things about L-methyfolate and ​Sam-e. I recently went off of melatonin because once its built up to a therapeutic level in my system I get serious nosebleeds - which seems to have happened to a lot of folks. Sheryl I have also taken the 5HTTP, seemed like good stuff but I was using my other regular meds so I am not sure if it makes a lot of difference. What is interesting - when I was in bad shape all that medication make me feel normal, My normal from waking until sleep was like being on fire without meds - I wanted to die - just dart out into traffic and have the pain just stop. Now - one Clonopin knocks me on my ass - I really feel it - whereas before I was in such a state that it just made the day tolerable enough to get through - so I could do the work needed in therapy to get a little better. I know that I am permanently imprinted by the bad things that happened in my life, that I will always be afraid of things - but it is better than it used to be. I have considered trying that flashing light therapy to help with the PTSD - I have heard good things about it.

Florinda sounds like HE is the confused one. I too would feel bowled over but you know he wasn't the one that brought you hope and all those things you said about him... being with him just helped you find that within. Hang onto THAT and let him just fade away. I took a gun safety and basic shooting class with my friend Mary today. Super fun, learned alot, and we are both good shooting students. Seattle Seahawks are going to the Super bowl!!! The sad freaked out I am sick over it news...My EX plans to live in his car. He made me promise not to tell people we know so I have to carry this burdensome knowledge. I am horrified and mad because he has options. He has reasons for his insanity but does it even matter? Counselor says I am in classic co dependant relationship but without the traditional alcohol addiction. Maybe that is why I feel guilty beyond reason.

Good job Georgia! Brown OMG I could not be that strong! Chocolate anything would drive me over the edge. Ok she's gone!!!! OMG I took her to a two hour doctors appt today. It was very stressful and the doctor and I confronted her on her alcohol use (not what any of us expected especially her) She's an alcoholic but became clean and sober after my brothers death. But she's back to drinking every night and is pissed and says lots of normal people drink wine every night. Yeah... I tried to talk to her about my food addiction and that even though I'm smaller now I'm still an addict. I told her for instance I'm so stressed out I could eat a package of Oreos today and that after she left I will be fighting a secret binge. Even though "normal" weighted people can eat Oreos, I can't. She wanted to know why I was stressed Ok no binges today and I'm at 426 so far.. I might MIGHT make it...

I have to be at work at 6:50am I can eat when I first wake so I have to have Breakfast about 6:30 before I leave for work. Last night my area had a "Dining for life" at specific restuarants which means that if you eat at participating restuarants then 25% of your meal tickets get dedicated to the philadelphia center (our Aids prevention and treatment center) I gathered about 9 people to go with me last night and for the first time had some alcohol since my surgery. One single delicious frozen strawberry swirl maggie. mmmmm. One enchilada, a few chips, and a few bites of Beans. Sounds like so little to me but in reality so much less than I used to eat. I tried to eat a tortilla covered in butter like I used too before my food got there because I was starving. One bite and my band said..."Are you crazy" and I put the tortilla down Anyway back to the main part of my story, and a Question. This moring I obviously woke up late bc if noone else has tried this alcohol effects you much more aggressively now. I usually wake up at 5 today I woke up at 6:11. So I had to get dressed, take a shower, and make myself pretty in 30 mins. I was going to grab breakfast to go...but dang it. What is breakfast to go now? Everything comes wrapped in a biscuit, a croissant, or atortilla ( which I can't eat unless it is soaked in sour cream sauce apparently) My Dr. told me to eat breakfast. Now I am up here hungry and confused. What do you guys have for take out breakfast?

Down a pound this week...just .5 and I'll be at 75# (my next goal). I can't even believe I lost weight over Christmas...I ate snacks/appetizers, drank lots of alcohol and ate a little of everything, including a few cookies. I'm starting to feel 'normal' when it comes to food LOL! I love my band!

Why, oh why, didn't I think of this before?? I hope it's OK to post this here. I haven't been sleeved yet but I have started dieting in preparation. I've enjoyed everyone's stories, I've laughed and cried. I know we are all in search of the same goal. Everyday I look at the before and after pics. I read all the posts. Y'all are my inspiration. It hit me like a ton of bricks this afternoon, so I thought I'd share a little. I'm 44 years old and life has been a roller coaster, just like my weight. My battle of the bulge is similar to many. I didn't get fat overnight. It was fast, but it wasn't overnight. This is the biggest I have ever been. Yesterday, I thought I was 250#, but noooo, that was just cruel joke my scale played on me. I had just lost 10 pounds. I went to the doctor yesterday and he weighed me in at 262#. That can't be! I just lost 10 pounds, it should say 252#! That just added insult to injury. Damn scale! So actually I started at 272#. I realized I was staring 300# in the face, I was over half way there.......I just wanted to cry, it was tough holding the tears back. Anyway he made it better. Everything is gonna be OK, once I get my sleeve. I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the upcoming changes. I've read things like head hunger and food addiction. I can relate to that. I LOVE food. I eat even when I'm not hungry. My life revolves around food. I've come to realize I'm a food addict. Food is my drug of choice. It satisfies me, it comforts me. I'm no stranger to addictions. I really hate to admit this and probably shouldn't, but in my early 20's I had a nasty drug habit. I kicked it on my own and have been clean for 22 years and have never touched it again. Fast forward a few years and I married an alcoholic. That is a recipe for DISASTER! We have been together for 18 years. He has been sober for the last 6+ years. My husband wasn't your everyday drinker. He was binge alcoholic. He could go weeks or months and not touch a drink. But when he did, all hell broke loose. That's a familiar word. "binge". It was very ugly. I won't go into all that. He needed help. He tried "Antibuse", that didn't work. It was supposed to make him violently ill if he took a drink. It made him sick even when he didn't drink. AA didn't work, all that talk about drinking triggered him to want to drink. I was at the end of my rope. Nothing was working. I started researching, there had to be a way. Other people quit drinking. I quit drugs, why couldn't he stop drinking??? My research lead me to www.rational.org. OMG! that opened our eyes. It worked for us. He has been sober for almost 7 years. It can be used for ANY addictive behavior!! It's free. It can't hurt to try it. I used it 3 years ago when I lost weight on Adkins. I got down to 160#. Major life upset and I let my eating get out of control AGAIN. My bad. Anyway, while I was vacuuming today, it all came back to me. I went back to the website and it was still there. I encourage anyone that needs help to take a look at it. I am starting to use it again today. It can't hurt. It is another tool that some may find useful. Anyway here is the link and an explanation from their website. It was originally geared to alcohol and drugs but they found it works with all addictions and bad behaviors. The key is to change the words alcohol/drug with food/binging/overeating or whatever your vice is. Change the word abstinence to healthy eating. I know that it works and I will use it. It helped me to get a piece of paper and write it all down. It's not that long. Don't rush through it, think about what they are saying and let it sink in. It makes so much sense. When you read it, it's like flipping a switch. It will hit home for some. If it works for you, it's awesome. It will only take about 15 minutes to read through it. Another tool for your weight loss journey.. www.rational.org (copy & paste the link) This was taken from their website: Quick Start on Rational Recovery ©2009, Jack Trimpey, all rights reserved. There is enough information at this website for you to totally recover from any addiction, e.g., alcohol, crank, crack, heroin, opiates, sex and porn addiction, overeating, computer addiction, gambling, or other personal behavior that goes against your own better judgment. • If you're drinking/using today, you won't learn much of anything. Come back in the morning or when you aren't under the influence. • To quit your addiction you must first stop drinking/using long enough to learn AVRT®. Quit Now For Life! You now have access to Addictive Voice Recognition Technique® (AVRT®), a powerfully simple means to defeat any addiction, to any substance or behavior, in as short a time as you like. The link below will guide you through the decision making process to total recovery, before you sleep tonight. Go to www.rational.org , on the right hand side of the page click on the blue button that says CRASH COURSE ON ARVT Before you click this link, however, observe your thoughts and feelings, positive and negative, about abusing food. Feel the hope, but notice the dread! Thoughts and feelings which support continued abuse are called the Addictive Voice (AV); those which support abstinence are you. When you recognize your AV, it becomes not-you, but "it," an easily-defeated enemy that has been causing you to abuse food.

For anti nasuae I keep a script on hand for generic phenergan which is called promethazine, you get about 20 pills and you can crush them, work quickly they are cheaper than the name brand and they are good for over a year. I think you can get the generic on walmarts 4.00 generic list now. The suppositories work but you don't get as many, they can melt if not kept in a cool place and they expire much faster. Also, Benedryl which you can get in liquid over the counter works very well, for children and adults. I also second the idea on Ginger tea and I use camomile mint tea if it is mild nasuea. I also will soak a cotton ball with alcohol squeeze out, and hold under nose, (careful around eyes) and breath slowly like in the hospital til it passes. Lastly, this winter I went to visit my daughters family who was in the mist of "flu" and on Tamiflu, so my Dr gave me a script to take with me just in case I started with symptoms, I filled it Luckily I didn't need it, but It is good til end of next winter. I used it last winter when I had it and it kept me from getting the worst of the flu, so if you think your getting the actually flu,, get in and get Tamiflu .

This subject does come up frequently, and it usually provokes some pretty strong opinions on all sides. I'll state the same things I have stated on this subject before: If you are really serious about losing weight, you need to consider giving up the booze. It is NOT conducive to good health OR weight loss, regardless of what some small studies say about the occasional glass of wine. Don't get me wrong; I always enjoyed a good blast of hootch, but NOTHING could make me feel as good as I do as a thin person. Sure, you could have a drink occasionally; you could also have a Snickers on occasion. Or a Hot Fudge Sundae. But WHY would you want to, after everything you have been through with your weight? It's the little decisions that we make on a moment to moment basis that impacts our health so dramatically. A shot of booze here, some cheez whiz there,....it all adds up. And you don't NEED a drink to be happy or have fun....if you DO,....well,,,,there are perhaps some other issues that you might want to address. There are certain things you need to eat to live....alchohol is one of those things you do NOT need. And it can hurt you in a number of ways. Also, consider the very real idea that after you have had one or two drinks, your will-power does tend to diminish, if not vanish entirely. This could lead to more drinks, and then the snacking that can often accompany a buzz. Sure, you can drink. Sure, you can have that piece of pizza, that slice of cake. But will that move you ANY closer to your goal? Nope. Will it keep you away from your goal? A little, tiny bit, yes. And will it continue to expose you to the foods that made you fat to begin with? Sure will. A couple of you have said your Drs have said that it is OK to have a drink.. Some have said their doctors advised against consuming alcohol. You will find Drs that say both. But….I would challenge you to ask any Dr if it would be better that you did NOT have a drink/Pizza/whatever. I can guarantee you that probably %100 would say that it would be better if you didn't. You always have a choice. And you should always strive to make the HEALTHY choice. S.

I would be very careful with alcohol. I get drunk super fast and black out. Tread slowly.

Wow I have to admit that I’ve never had the foamies. I’m extremely lucky, I think. I’m the person who never threw up once during 2 pregnancies, never threw up once while on a year of chemo ( and I even held down a full-time job during) and has never once thrown up due to drinking too much alcohol. Much to nobodies surprise, I’ve not thrown up ( or even come close to it) during this procedure. I’ve got stomach cramps a few times, and that’s been when I’ve tried to push food and water too close, or when I’ve tried to eat something within 3 hours of awaking. For some reason my sleeve just doesn’t want food in it until at least 10am and preferably later. I’ve all but given up on breakfast because I can only get down 1/4 of the amt of food I can have at dinner and even something like a couple spoons of cottage cheese get stuck and I start to have spasms and light nausea. And if I’m feeling light nausea, I know it’s serious because I almost never feel nausea.

HI, my name is Jenn and I'm an alcoholic... and if had one more day in Gruene... would be an alcoholic slut.

Hi guys. I haven't been on in ages but over the summer had some plastic surgeries. I had an upper/ lower eye lift with a neck lift, then had a breast lift with an arm lift. I am so happy with everything that I did that I have scheduled a tummy tuck for January. I traded severely baggy upper arms for some scars, but I am so good with the trade. However, after each surgery I got so constipated that I gained a couple of pounds each time that I thought would come back off after swelling but hasn't. I am now 9 lbs up from my lowest of 150. I went in to my 2 yr checkup expecting to be chastised, but they were thrilled that I was only 1 lb different from the 1 yr checkup. (Must have lost weight during the year and then gained THAT back). So they were happy, I was happy they weren't mad, but I still am internally freaking out. I have never been an alcohol drinker, but I have become one. A Big one. I know there is a lot of sugar in wine but I can't eat very well so I drink. Plus I don't want to eat and drink together so I don't eat. I realized I prob don't get but maybe 20 gr of protein in a day. Soooo, I came back to my support group to see how everyone is faring and to get a plan together. My bloodwork came back fine except for the iron is low. But I don't want constipation, so I don't take a lot on purpose. But I do get dizzy and shaky ALOT. But I have also taken up drinking coffee several times a day (I never drank coffee before either and didn't understand ppl that liked it) my other go to drink is 1/2 sweet-unsweetened tea. I drink all day and will 'eat' soup bc it's cold here now. But it's not good for me and bc of the surgeries, I need to re-lose. My plan, and due to tips from this group, is to uptake my protein and go to the gym. I already ate a quest bar for breakfast. Yay me. I have no motivation for the gym tho, and no friend that goes there. Yes, I know I'll meet someone there and that's in my mind, but also a part of me thinks, "you'll meet a guy and flirt while not wearing your ring during a workout and you'll like the attention". My husband and I aren't close, and I'm lonely a lot, so I'm really nervous bc I think I could be swayed so easily and I don't think I'll have much willpower to not get caught up in it. But I don't want to bc I'm faithful but I really want someone to talk to and give me attention. My husband and I tried and tried, but we just live in this weird world where we share a house. (Separate fridges, sides of the house, dogs, garages, friends, etc) Anyway, I'm not complaining about that, but I'm just explaining how I could meet someone like-minded but seriously don't want the stress of lying or hiding something from him. So I avoid men usually. I hide in my office at work and at stay at home bc I don't trust myself. So, off I'm going to the gym and will try hard to make girlfriends at once and not talk to the men so I don't make a huge mistake. It's hard tho bc I'm craving some attention. That's all I'm saying I guess. Also, during my 2 yr, the PA said that I'm 24BMI and that that's a "one percenter" at 2yrs and beyond. (I weighed 156- 3 lbs ago)That it was fantastic, and great job!". That being said, I've noticed that in our support group, a lot of us have low BMIs and we should be so happy that we are not in the "norm" and have lost so much and have maintained so well thus far. Agreed that it will get harder though and it will take work. I'm going to work on my choices of beverages, protein intake and working out. Congratulations everyone for being healthier this year and even more so in the coming year.

Mwhahaha ok. Well it started Saturday.. a co-worker who use to paint (fancy painting) restaurants & houses for a living, offered a trade. She'll paint our house if DH fixed her internet and set up her wireless. They are in Decatur, a city about 20 minutes from here. So we're doing it, it takes a while and DH had to take her computer home. Ends up, her teen daughter got a lot of virus & spyware on it from downloading crap. So it made me feel better, I'm making her paint the living room, entry, halls, etc. majority of the house.. so now I know DH actually had to do some work for her. Anyway, on our way back, she told me to buy our paint and she'll bring the brushes. We pass a Home Depot in Decatur and I tell DH to stop, he throws a fit saying he wants to go home, but we were THERE so I made him do it. We go to park and a woman comes flying out of her spot in an SUV and gouges & scrapes all down the side of his card. Then she didn't know what to do, so she's going the opposite direction, scraping it even more. We were fine because she ended up with her front bumper going up the side of our car, so it didn't do anything to us. Anywho.. then that night, co-workers invited me out. Customer in town. We had gone to lunch earlier with DH, and someone mentioned how one of their husbands will NOT come pick them up if they get drunk. He says "You took her out and got her drunk, you bring her back". DH was saying he would pick me up (duh, I'd kill em if he didn't!). So I said I needed him to pick me up later. He said in Madison, right? NOT Huntsville? I was like yea, we have a designated driver that is bringing us back to Madison, then you just pick me up there. So we go out, the designated driver(DD) is a recovering? alcoholic, but he has been the DD lately for everyone apparently. We started off at a mexican restaurant that was happenin'! We had margies, and some shots. DD had tea. Yay. Then we go to the bar. Oy. I got trashed. One of the managers (I only have 1 boss here- the owner!) got trashed and confrontational. She's unhappy in her marriage, and she doesn't like me cause I don't kiss her ass like the other girls here (she's their boss). So long story short, she called me out on stuff she doesn't like that I do here, and how I should live my life, when I should have kids, and how they mess up careers, etc. etc. I was really uncomfortable talking about this with her.. then we ran into a former vender at the bar and she confronted her, insinuating the only reason she was talking to our DD is that she thought they'd get more business. Oy oy. THEN.. DD sneaks off, and in a matter of 30m becomes plastered.. more than ANY of us who had been drinking all night. He is falling down drunk, so we take his keys.. and he passes out in the flowerbed. I call DH at 4am to come pick us up Bless him, he didn't get mad, didn't say one mean thing. Just asked how to get there.. first he had to take my small car, to go pick up his bigger car at the original spot he was suppose to pick me up, then drive into downtown Huntsville.. to pick up 4 drunk folks. He gets there, and the DD is so trashed he is PUKING all over the place. We had to cram into DH's car, stop every mile for DD to puke, meanwhile he got mulch from the flowerbed ALL OVER the car. I swear. It was crazy. But one thing I wanted to accomplish, and fully informed DH about, is with 100lb gone, I wanted to get hit on. I was there with my size 1 co-workers who always look so sexy.. I wanted ME to get picked up mwhaha. And I did accomplish this. Some guy bought me a drink and sent his friend over to talk to me, then he finally came over, was tellin me he owns an ambulance company in MS and he's there for a shriner convention or something. I had my driver's license in my cigarette pack, and I saw him looking at it, so I flipped it over LOL. He asked for my phone # and I dodged it pretty easily, by talking about other random stuff. It felt good. When DH dropped everyone else off, I kept apologizing and saying please don't be mad.. and he didn't. And I told him about the guy, and I was like "HE WANTED YOUR WOMAN!" and he just grinned. Next morning he woke me up with "Hey baby how are you feeling?" so he really didn't get mad that I drug him out of bed in the middle of the night to deal with drunk folks. He earned some brownie points Next morning though, right after we woke up (10am) his mom calls. She is 10 minutes from our house. WHAT! Our house is a mess, since it's getting painted, I have all kinds of stuff out of order, things all over the floor.. and our guest bathroom is unusable due to the litterbox.. and the master bath, I had lingerie, my dirty underwear all over the floor, piles of dishes in the sink, etc. His mom goes to use our bathroom and I was just mortified. I made a comment when she came out "I wish I knew you were coming, I would have cleaned!!" and she goes 'I told Russell I would be coming today'. WAY TO TELL ME!!! :smile2: He forgot.. So then I busted my ass cleaning the house like I haven't cleaned it before, with them there.. so she didn't think I was a total slob. I think that's enough stories for my weekend. I took Before pics of my living room to show ya'll how nice it's gonna be after she paints! It's a dark purple color. Our big entertainment center is delivered tomorrow. I also bought faux wood venetian blinds for the entire house, our little metal ones are ripped up all over the place from the animals. So excited!!

It doesn't work that way here in S. Texas!! We have to dig up the bulbs every year and put them in the refrigerator until November! Needless to say, you don't see a lot of tulips and daffodils in this neck of the woods. Michelle, that breaks my heart. I'm so sorry!!! I hate hearing that ... my son was one step away from getting checked into residential treatment until I heard one too many horror stories. Actually it was a message board (link) that 'saved' him. The message board was full of residential treatment 'alumni' who were there to offer opinions of the various centers, along with opinions as to the variety of alternatives available. I had a few of the people tell me to just give him a thorough psychiatric evaluation....so that's what we did instead of sending him off....and it literally saved his life. He is a very healthy honor roll senior now, getting ready for college, does not do drugs or alcohol, has a job, and always (without fail) makes curfew. Please encourage them to get a psych evaluation before sending her off. It's important to take that step first. If she's an internet person, please also encourage her to get educated about the 'troubled teen industry'.... it's not as it seems. G'day all!!!

But Terry, there is no setting it on fire in that recipe, and that looked like fun.....and also kinda dangerous for someone as klutzy as me!!! LOL!!! You know Terry, today in the PS's office, he had a poster up on the wall showing results of Restalyn injections. I started thinking about you, and I have debated saying anything but here goes.....I debated, because I know we have to live with ourselves and no one else understands----but when you first mentioned seeing a PS about a couple of procedures, then you come back with a laundry list!!! But girl, I just saw you and I CANNOT see why you would want to do all that----you are beautiful!!!! I understand the lines we discussed the parenthesis around the mouth---I would like mine gone too!!! But, you look way younger than I do, and I cannot imagine having all that done! Years down the road, to come back to looking like you do now....maybe, but it is my sincere opinion, that you do not need a face lift, you look wonderful! OK now I will butt out!!!! We went to dinner, to the pet parade, and to the burning of Zozobra. The guys had a few beers, now Rick is snoring like crazy, and I cannot get comfy, so thought I would get up until I got reeeeeally sleepy and could maybe fall asleep, I tried for an hour, and gave up and got up!!! So during dinner they brought around pieces of paper for us to write our gloomy, doomy thoughts on.....then you take them and they stuff them into Zozobra (a "thing" about 12 foot tall, a wire frame, stuffed with these notes, newspaper, a few firecrackers---and covered in sheeting, and painted to look like a mean old man). One of my papers said "Anything that stands in the way of future Violet get togethers"!!! They have a parade-----following along behind Old Man Zozobra, some carrying candles, and when they get to the designated spot, the candles get tossed on him and as he burns so do all the gloom and doom thoughts inside him. It is a Mexican tradition----they do it every year. I did not walk the parade---I rode the golf cart with a friend who is in a cast following ankle surgery!!! Lucky me!!! Rick reserved us a cart at the Country Club tomorrow for the API golf tournament----a petroleum industry thing they do each year. About 45-50 different companies---all with something to do with the oil/gas fields---set up huge canopies, with tables full of give aways and tables for eating, because each company tries to out do the other in the BBQ--it is of course a competition. There is always brisket, ribs, burgers, pork, bacon wrapped shrimp, kabobs, brats----you name it, plus all the sides. Drinks, alcoholic or not-----and you just go around sampling and visiting! There is at least one company at each hole, and set up all around the perimeter---so you have to pace yourself!!!! Rick got our friends to take their ice cream machine out there, and it is a hit!! They give away tshirts, hats, visors, fans, can cozies, anything the company can get their name on!!! I got a manicure set!!! And Chapstick---all with oilfield companies names on them!!!Hilarious! That is our plan for tomorrow. I was not planning on going----but figure with the cart, I will be ok, plus we do have some friends who have a home on the green if I do need some down time. Well, guess I will go check my email, and maybe play some cards to make myself sleepy!!! Check in with ya tomorrow.....eeeerrrrr later today!!!! Kat

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” - Socrates Everyone does well out of the gates. We all impress ourselves when we start, what we believe to be, a new lifestyle change. However, "out of the gates," can mean different things for different people; for some it is two months, for others (usually depending on how strong the addiction or habit is) it can be two minutes. But what do we do when we fall from grace? The research on relapse (with any addiction; food, drugs, alcohol) is that recidivism is the rule not the exception. So why do we get so down on ourselves when we fall short of our goals? Why is it so hard to get back on the horse with the same vigor we had when we started? And how do we give ourselves a renewed sense of hope and motivation for change once we've fallen? One magical ingredient in the secret sauce (and one of many concepts I talk about in my book and my wls courses) that is lifestyle change is the novelty effect. The new plan to quit something or change a bad habit is something unlike we have ever done before, so we hope that we can achieve something we have never done before. The problem is that the moment we slip, that novelty loses its magic - and each time we start over, it loses its power to give us hope. So the solution is to cultivate more novelty. Our ability to continually grow and change is largely limited by our creativity. The more creative we become, the easier it is to take a different approach to change. To open a window when life seems to shut the door. In other words- what I am telling you, is that the only secret to long term weight loss maintenance is the knowledge that there isn't only one secret. There is no ONE diet that will forever change someone. Eventually people get tired of eating bacon and eggs every meal on Atkins, or grapefruit, or cabbage soup- but the thread they all share is their novelty. This is why all of them can work initially. Even as powerful as weight loss surgery is- people still find that they start to plateau or even gain the weight back if they aren't simultaneously addressing the behavioral and psychological factors that got them there in the first place. They too, must also continuously be creative about renewing one self throughout their lifetime. So the following is for all of you who are struggling today. Those that feel they have lost their way and perhaps feel disenchanted or disappointed. Below is a recovery "map" I created a long time ago for my clients, some struggling with substance abuse, others with food. It all works the same. Print it out, or copy and paste it in the notes section of your phone and take 20 minutes to fill it out with the things that are personally meaningful for you. This is not THE answer to long term recovery from addiction, but it is a fresh approach for many who feel stale at the moment: Baptism - Some ceremony to signal a renewed sense of hope and a fresh start. One client trying to recover from substance abuse, buried all of his wine and liquor bottles in his yard. Another client had a "garbage party" with her kiddos, and they loved smashing all the processed foods they had in their pantry and throwing them in the trash. Associations/triggers list all of the things that get you into trouble (being at a bbq, wanting to celebrate something, holidays, 7-10pm at night, date night, etc) Coping Skills (what gets you through the crave waves) These are the behaviors that you do INSTEAD of the addictive behavior. Extra credit if you are able to make a coping skill for each trigger listed above. Higher Desires/Vision of Self when you let go of your attachment to food and all the self loathing, mental, and physical heaviness it brings- what are you freeing your life up for? will you write a book? will you do more outdoor activities with your kids? do you want to resume an activity you once loved as a child? Is there a role model that inspires you that has done what you want to do? Cons Why are you doing this in the first place? These are the things that are hard to keep in mind when our reptilian mid brain (see last article) is at the wheel. What is personally meaningful? Does it age you? Does it make you feel out of control? Do you dread going on airplanes because you know you'll need an extender? does it prevent you from going to amusement parks with your kiddos? Spirituality (religion gets us into heaven, spirituality gets us out of hell) All addiction is what disconnects us from our deeper self and edges us further and further away from God (or whatever you like to call it) and our deeper spirituality. Spirituality is what allows us to move into the unknown, be comfortable with discomfort, and have faith that everything will be ok. It can include a gratitude practice, volunteering, play, aligning one self with nature, connecting with a spiritual e newsletter (mind body green, daily om, etc), generosity, etc. Daily Recovery Ritual (symbolic gesture to self every day that we are consciously devoting time to our recovery) What are the things you can do daily to symbolize to yourself that today is a new day? Keep it realistic or you won't do it. Vitamins, meditation, lemon water, supplements, self care, reaching out to a loved one, exercise, etc. Reward System What will you do for yourself if there is a certain period of time reached where you meet your goals? Will you get a massage at the end of every month? Will you plan a vacation after three months of solid goal hitting? Will you reward yourself with one day per week of going to the movies in the middle of the day and playing hooky if you're on the straight and narrow for five days? Strategy This is your "what." What are you doing daily to ensure that you are in alignment with your goals? Are you reading something fresh all the time? Do you make a timeline of your addiction and how it has affected your life? Do you go to local support meetings each week? Do you keep in touch with an online community? Do you make sure to give yourself small breaks while with the kids every day? Do you have a self care space set up in your house? Do you talk to a partner about how to change behaviors of theirs that might be hindering your efforts? can they get a mini fridge? Do you do acupuncture to balance your chi? Do you do yoga to manage your depression? Do you find a therapist? Recovery Resources (try to hit one each morning) what resources are in your pocket when you are feeling weak? bariatricpal.com? WLS journeys on Instagram? The Fix, Reddit, unique blogs documenting their weight loss journey, wls and vsg searches on Pinterest, etc. Good luck on your fresh start!

Terri and Haydee~ For the margies... Get Margie Mix (near the alcohol in the store) it is cheap too. I like regular, but some may like strawberry (too sweet for me)... CHEAP WHITE tequilla (never drink gold...it is only sugar, w/ more calories...and a bad hangover) Tons of ice and tons of limes! That is it!

I agree with that and I’ve been saying it for years that the overweight are pretty much the only group of people it’s still seen as acceptable to hate. Alcoholics, smokers, drug users, mentally ill and even more recently, bullies, are all accepted and given a free pass in some way but the minute being overweight is mentioned, suddenly you’re the worst person alive and it doesn’t matter what reasons you have for it, it isn’t viable. My brother is pretty thin but eats loads of unhealthy food and no one ever says anything to him about it. But put us side by side with a slice of pizza each and people would give me the disgusted looks. I’ve seen it many times before. That’s why I don’t buy into the “we’re only concerened about your health” line people come out with. It’s just an excuse most of the time.

Hey all - it's a while since I posted (and I was a newbie anyway so I hadn't posted much). I told myself it was because my surgery was still so far away that it was better to step away from the board and obsessing too much... but in reality it's because I'm anxious because I haven't told my husband and I don't know how to start. The surgery is Feb 5th! We have a few friends who have had the surgery and he is very negative and judgemental, critical and mocking. My main reason for getting it is PCOS - which causes weight gain as well as some other nasty side effects. My hormone levels are getting further and further away from where they should be, and the medications I was on are no longer working and are having a negative impact on my health. Honestly, the weight loss will be a bonus for me - it's resetting my hormones and becoming healthy again that I am most looking forward to. My BMI is "low" for this surgery at 36 - but I know that it will just get worse and worse so I should deal with it now while I am still relatively young. And he knows this - he has seen my struggle with awful hormonal conditions for 17 years. But all he ever says is that I need to work out more and eat better. A few things come into play in our relationship: 1. He is 25 years older than me (which I didn't find out about until after we were engaged - he lied about his age). 2. He is an alcoholic (which I didn;t find out about until after we were married. He is a binge drinker and so was able to stay sober for the months we were engaged). 3. I have an Irish accent that people here in the US gravitate to, and he gets very jealous. 4. He is not overweight as such, but has a belly from drinking and being middle-aged that he has been trying to lose since I met him. He yo-yos a lot, and goes on extreme fasts and workouts to lose it, then gains it all back when he goes on a drinking binge. He always talks about this magical day in the future when he has lost his gut, and it never comes. It will irritate him beyond belief that this day will come for me. These things make him very insecure, and while he gives me a hard time about my weight sometimes - I think he is very comfortable with me being fat as it means I am not going to leave him or be attractive to other men. He will be jealous of me. He might try to stop me getting the surgery. I'm not being fanciful - back in 2013 I was due to have a breast reduction. My boobs were massive, always had been even when I was 112 lbs. He supported my decision, wanted me to get the surgery... then he wen on a drinking binge the week before and I caught him trying to get my insurance cancelled so I couldn't have the op. When that didn't work he tried to call the hospital and cancel it - of course they wouldn't let him. When he sobered up he was mortified and bent over backwards to be supportive when I had the op - but it happened, and I am wary. To that end I am not telling him until after this Friday, as that is the end date for open enrollment on our insurance plan. I have gotten more savvy as time goes on! Please don't be lecturing me or telling me to leave. I know what the situation is, I know what I can deal with, and I have a plan. The only place I would want to go if I left would be home to Ireland, and that can't happen until my daughter is 16 - so I have 4.5 years to squirrel away money and position myself. I have a comfortable lifestyle, and it suits me to stay. I gave up everything to move here and be with him, and I figure I'm owed and would rather be comfortable until I can leave. If we divorced some other woman would move in and get what I'm owed - there is a shortage of men around here, esp men with good jobs. And honestly (don't judge me) - he is a 67 year old chronic alcoholic. He could pass away in the next 4.5 years and me and the kids would be pretty set. He doesn't bother me, we live pretty independently, there is no animosity, I have my own bedroom, and I pretty much do my own thing (like going home to Ireland for 6 weeks every summer). I have gone to all my weigh ins and pre-op appts without him even being in the slightest bit aware - that's how separate our lives tend to be. How do I start this conversation? He is smart and educated, but very judgemental. He is a therapist (haha, I know) who has had clients who have had the surgery and not done well. But they were a lot heavier than me, smokers and substance abusers, with severe mental health problems. I have read a lot and plan to make a note of all the benefits. I have some articles to show him - but I know he won't read them (he has a very short attention span and I've never seen him read a whole article never mind a book). I plan to ask him why he doesn't want me to have it - I know that "you could die" will be the only real thing he'll have to say - but I have a medical report showing that the mortality rate for sleeve surgery is 0.08%. He can't really say "because I'm jealous" as that isn't a valid argument. If he says it is the easy way out or the lazy way out I can cite facts to show him how it isn't - but even if it was... so what? So what if it was the easy way out it gets my health back on track and me feeling better? I mean, when I was having kids it was all epidural vs. med free and breast milk vs. formula. We all made our own choices, but in hindsight it didn't matter as long as the outcome was the same: a healthy baby. I'm trying to anticipate other things he might say, or stuff I should have prepped in advance. Everyone else I have told has been very supportive - my mum, two daughters, close friends. I know 4 people in my immediate circle who have had it and have asked a lot of questions. I guess my fear is that he will try to stop it somehow - I don't expect any support, but I don't want to blindside him by telling him afterwards. I don't plan on telling him my Dr's name or the hospital I'll be at, just in case. I'm very averse to confrontation and hate having hard conversations. I'm not scared of him - he isn't physically or emotionally threatening in any way, but I am scared to bring it up. Can't put my finger on why exactly. Thanks for listening to my ramble - I guess I'm just anxious, and I really could do without it because I am a natural worrier as it is!

Pam: I'll have my tweezers w/me, definitely! Janie: The answer to your alcohol-purchasing question is: YES! Tee Hee!

RE: These caramel nut chew bars. Are they a protein bar ? Atkins has protein bars and some other ones that are more like snacks/treats? The nougat protein bars are fabulous. Atkins changed the taste of their shakes and not for the better. :-( Doesn't the sugar alcohol give you horrible gas? One more question. Eating low carb always constipates me. That benefiber gives me gas too. Some advice as to what others are doing to keep constipation until control would be really appreciated! I've been lurking on this thread. I don't know what happened to the other low carb thread.

Hi Jen, I had to cut out the alcohol period. It was sabotaging me. I was sabotaging myself. I would do good all day and then want a drink at night to chill out from all my frustrations and distractions but then with the drink I would grab a handful of chips or nuts or something else not good. I was stuck at the same 26lbs down for about 2 months. Once I stopped the alcohol my weight loss has started to pick up again. I'm now 36 lbs down and just started C25K. I would be at least 50 lbs down if I never started back up with the alcohol. I'm gonna subscribe to you on YT I just realized that we are both August rushers. I agree with the other poster. Of course you are struggling only having 1 1/2 cc in your band after all this time. I thought my surgeon was conservative. He put 1cc in my band on surgery day. I'm going for my 3rd fill on Jan. 5th and I'm now at 4.5cc which is good because I do feel restriction. I think by my next fill or maybe the one after I'll be at or pretty close to my "sweet spot". You are losing weight basically on your own and by sheer will power. The band is supposed to be a tool to help us get to our goal. Your tool is not helping you because your Dr is not letting it. What the heck, you have to lose another 30 lbs before he gives you a fill in 6 months? I have never heard of this before . Dang, you'll be at goal by then or pretty close to it. A Dr told you that the fat is turning into muscle? No such thing....fat is fat and muscle is muscle. You have burned fat and have built up your muscles. I think you should try to talk to your Dr . but this is just my humble opinion. Dee

“ The wound is where the light enters you.” - Rumi When I work with pre and post-op bariatric surgery patients, I consistently go over this idea of being "full from within." Many people question, "what does that mean for me? What does that look like?" My response is that for one to be truly full, we must first clear out the old toxicity, wounds, and hurtful schemas we've picked up throughout the years. How does one get over a hurt? There is not "getting over." You go through it. You have to feel it to heal it. If you have underwent gastric sleeve, bypass, or balloon surgery and still feel like there is a missing piece- it is likely that there are some deeper psychological toxicities that need to be cleared. The first step to doing so is sitting still, sitting with the feelings, and it is in stillness that our heart finally starts to answer the questions our mind has failed to thus far. Yet so many have been taught not to feel. That there must be an easier way- a shortcut. 1 in every 8 Americans is on some form of psychotropic medication. 1 In his book, Anatomy of an Epidemic, science journalist Robert Whitaker states that since 1987, the percentage of the population receiving federal disability payment for mental illness has tripled; among children under the age of 18, the percentage has grown by a factor of 35.1 While Whitaker recognized that in the short-term, these medications help people to feel better, he started to realize that over time- drugs make many patients sicker than they would have been if they had never been medicated. 1 He does not make the argument that all people should stop their meds. He believes in the utility of them, just more sparingly than they are currently utilized. However, throughout my years in the practice of therapy- I have noticed a trend of moving people away from feeling. Crying is actually a symptom in the DSM-V. We have pathologized a human feeling! When psychiatrists and therapists witness a patient tearful too many times in session, their next conclusion is that something must be wrong and they must be medicated. This frustrates me so much as a clinician and as a person who has done her share of work in her own personal therapy. When we are broken, we are broken open. Being broken is a starting point, not a symptom that something has gone awry. It is at the point of our deepest pain and grief that we have the greatest opportunity for growth. I find myself telling patients over and over- “you can’t “get over” it, you must “go through” it.” Yet, so many of us have been indoctrinated to think that if we spend more than a day being sad, we must have depression, or if we feel nervous a little bit longer than we’d like to- we must have an anxiety disorder. We definitely “are Bipolar” if we have a mood swing. We have been taught to not feel the yin, only the yang of our emotions. It’s societally acceptable to talk about how happy your weekend was, or how much fun you had on vacation- but watch the uncomfortable shifting in chairs that takes place when you open up about how you just haven’t felt like yourself lately. In our world of quick fixes, where we can have a conference across the world, over a computer, communicate a message in two seconds via text, or post a picture that all of our family can see instantly- we also want instant relief for our suffering. Yet, suffering is part of the human condition. It is through experiencing our deepest sorrows, we are able to appreciate our greatest joys. But we must first be willing to sit in the muck. "Out of the mud, grows the lotus." -Thich Nhat Hanh Part and parcel of any addiction (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.) is that the addict is particularly uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. However, the cure is right there for the taking. “So what does this look like in real life?” you ask. “How do I open the wound, bring in the light, and clear out the infection that started all of this in the first place?” You start with presence. You start with a still and open heart. You start with a spiritual vulnerability that allows you to be at peace with not knowing what will happen next. You sit broken open and wait for the light to enter over time. The most important piece in all of this is being able to create a consistent forum where you hold the space. This could be a therapist’s office, it could be a weekly walk with a friend, a journal practice, or it could be as simple as a prayer every night. You set the priority to hold the space and to sit in the muck. Maybe it starts with emotions that have no words? Maybe it starts with visceral, physical feelings, that you have to simply sit with for a while? Maybe you are lucky enough to immediately put in words where your wound all started and its just floating around in your thoughts, waiting to be articulated? Perhaps it starts with a behavior you tend to do all of the time that you know comes from a place of pain? Case Study: I had a client who continuously posted on social media sites. She had a constant need to feel recognized and admired. She knew there was something behind it and wanted to get to the bottom of where this was coming from. Session over session, we sat with that need. We talked about what she wanted to get from each of those posts and why she was still “on E,” left with an empty psychological tank. The short story of Narcissus goes that he disdained people who loved him. After Nemesis noticed this he lured him to a pool that cast his own reflection. Narcissus fell in love with this pool, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, he lost his will to live. He stared at this reflection until he died. 59 Growing up, this client never quite got the love and admiration we all need from our parents. When we love something so much and don’t get that back- it is that unrequited love that leaves a narcissistic wound. It doesn’t necessarily always start with parents. It can be a formative romantic relationship, but it usually starts with parents. When we are flying from couch to couch saying “look at me mommy I’m superman!” and our mom says “get off that couch now!” instead of “look at how strong and powerful you are,” we begin forming the wound. Unfortunately, without recognizing this- many people will go throughout their life trying to heal it through other people or other things instead of within themselves. (recall the wizard of oz’s moral of the story). It was up to this client to stop the instinctual need to post and each time she had this inclination to look within for what she needed. Eventually, she developed a muscle for self validation, and the posting behavior stopped. The lesson in this case study is to hopefully help guide you to your wound. If we have a food addiction and feel out of control, you can bet we have a wound. Instead of distracting through bad habits, addictions, unhealthy relationships, or external wants- it is time to finally create a place of presence to start the healing process. Mind Meal: Sit in silence for at least 15 minutes. Visualize in your mind’s eye your heart with a bridge of white light to your head. What does it say? Where is the pain? Where is the wound? How might you start filling yourself up for good? Want to learn more about how to be truly full from within. Check out Dr. Colleen's latest book aimed at helping one focus on why they eat vs. what they eat, and stop the "diet yo-yo" for good. You can also sign up for her free course : Full From Within, here. 1 Retrieved: June 2, 2017 https://www.madinamerica.com/author/rwhitaker/

Hi Kermit, You are quite right about Jerome having a great understanding of obesity. We could do with more medical people understanding it as a disease. Obesity should be treated in a similar vein to anorexia, bulimia and alcoholism you don't hear of these people being told to just eat healthy, or to stay out of pubs. They get support and help and understanding when they finally ask for help. I have heard that there are two doctors who are dealing with WLS in ACS so lets hope that more drs means shorter waiting times for appointments. I would hope that these doctors will be in Dublin all of the time or at least one or other should be. Jerome split his time between Paris and Dublin so we only had him here every other week. Hope you all are doing well and I wish you all comfortable restriction and lots of weight loss. As ever........

oh honey, im so sorry you are having such a hard time. your story sounds like mine not too long ago. first, take a deep breath, and think to yourself: all things that are meant to be will find a way. now, when i emotionally ate, (i say ate because i cant eat near the volume of food i used to, but i still emotional eat) i would eat a large pizza from pizza hut in one night. then i would have the 2 liter pepsi i ordered with it (not diet mind you) and then usually i would have at least 1 or 2 candy bars before retiring to bed. emotional eating is an addiction, and just like ANY addiction, you cant just walk away from it, and again like any addiction, it gets worse when you are stressed, sad, mad, whatever. i couldnt do this alone. an eating addiction is a little more tricky than other addictions. i wont say harder because drug,alcohol, etc. are incredibly hard to beat as well. the difference is though is that an eating addiction is still IN YOUR FACE all the time. you cant just walk away from it. you HAVE to eat. it was my drug of choice as it is yours and pretty much everyone else on this site. know that there are others out there that are going through the same exact, IDENTICAL struggle you are going through, and if not now, they were at some point. i will be sending good wishes your way. keep us all posted on what progresses with your surgery!!!!!!!!!!