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My original posting was on the LB talk site but have never liked it because so many people talk to you like you're a freak of nature when you say the band hasn't worked for you or you've had complications, you get the whole "you're doing it wrong" "what do you eat" responses. I guys, any thoughts on Lapband removal and going to sleeve? I was banded April 2008 and have many complications over the last few years from GI issues to slippage causing weight gain. Spoke to my doctor today originally thinking of going to gastric bypass, but after much discussion of how I am dedicated to working out, counting calories and portion control, that he feels the sleeve would be a better option for me to lose the weight Ive gained and help me obtain my goal weight with out dealing with the complications of re routing intestines and malobsobtion. Here's the break down: I had never really considered the sleeve only because I had read that those who failed with the band would fail with the sleeve. And with my track record lol... Let see banded April 2008, lost about 30lbs in 10months Bad break up on Feb 2009 prompted the run/drink water/smoke diet and lost 40lbs or so in 2months. April 2009 got life back on track and was less depressed so was able to eat and hold down food and gained 60lbs in 6months Aug 2010 went back to nutritionist and was put on phentramine (yet have lb but still needed diet pills) and lost 30lbs in 6months. July 2011 delt with slight weight gain and possible ulcer Nov/Dec 2011 nearly hospitalized from GI issues and had ever test they could think of to figure out what was wrong with me and scoped from WMD to end. Off phentramine March 2012 learned my band had slipped which wa cause of a lot of the issues my GI doctor was trying to figure out. And band unfilled and began discussions on revision to gastric bypass May 2012 band looked better had partial fill and more talks about revision, up 7lbs, back to other doctor an put back on phentramine weightloss program July 2012 gained another 13lbs and another fill, stated to start researching revison options. Got personal trainer at gym for 2xs a month work out for extra support. Still on phentramine Aug 2012 down 3lbs, still having issues with band, can't lay on stomach because port site hurts, can't do certain work outs because it hurts to twist. Still not much restriction but fear tha because my band is tighter when I stress that any fill can cause issues. Discussed my fears of gastric and my doctors/my fears that of band is completely removed I will gain even more back and then some. Doctor recommended sleeve over bypass. So yes I've been looking into it for awhile, I'm doing everything that has been asked of me and then some to lose the weight and keep gaining the min I'm off diet pills and sometimes even when on them. Doctor expressed that believes its my intolerance to certain healthy foods (the good Fiber ones) is a big problem, cant have a salad or fresh veggies with out getting stuck, sliming or PBing. So that's why I'm torn, hadn't given much thought to the sleeve before it scared me more than bypass until I read all the horror stories of it and heard stories from friends who knew people who died from gastric complications months after surgery. I've spent 4hours yesterday just reading and researching and so far the sleeve really does seem like the best option. The idea to continue to have a tool to help me control my weight gain and the ability to eat a salad at the same time with out being in pain or throwing up sounds heavenly lol So that's where I am at lol

I am a wife and mother of two boys. I am a leukemia patient in remission since 2004 but still underwent two years of chemotherapy with no relapse occurrence. I love camping, cooking, reading and racing. My husband and I spend most of our time with our children. We rarely eat out as we live in rural area outside of our local towns. I do most of the cooking in our home. I have been heavy all my life. After my 2nd son, my weight gain has been significant and have worked with doctors/diet programs to try to control it without success. Since then my health has been declining and in the last year, more rapidly. I have severe asthma despite treatment with severe attacks and the coughing never ends. After my 2nd year of these issues and being on the multiple medications and asthma medications. My pulmonary doctor referred me to ENT/vocal specialist and surgeons as my voice has now deteriorated and getting harder to speak. This is causing huge issues for me at work and now been placed on disability. After multiple tests and vocal therapy, tests show that I have severe GERD, severe esophageal reflux with a hiatal hernia, morbid obesity, obstructive sleep apnea and severe asthma/attacks. Upper respiratory infections set up easy and have been admitted to hospitals multiple times. Everything now has spread up to my vocal cords causing muscle tension dysphonia and inflammation. I vomit almost daily and unable to do any activity without issues with breathing, severe coughing thus induces more vomiting causing the muscles around my vocal cords to tighten even more to the point of choking. I am now getting to the point that food and liquid is making me nauseous if I intake too much or the wrong things. My medications are no longer working, and my asthma medications is weakening the sphincter valve that meets my stomach and esophagus. I have been referred for Gastric Bypass surgery to start correcting my issues. My primary specialists are in Madison, WI. For insurance reasons, I am seeing surgeons in Chicago, IL. I was apprehensive about moving to another medical center but so far have been treated very well. The hospital intake coordinator and case manager were successful in submitting for insurance approval of my surgery for medical necessity. I can only pray now for a successful surgery and trust my doctors and God to keep me safe through my journey. My support system is my family. My husband has also been through Gastric Bypass but when the surgery was newer. He has gained back some of his weight since then. We both believe that as he is my support person, we will both be on track to a healthier lifestyle again. My surgery is scheduled on May 22, 2014. I will not have to do the 3 month diet prior although I will have to do the modified protein/calorie diet 10 days before my surgery. I have also begin dabbling in the Protein shakes. I have purchased Designer Protein whey mixes in chocolate, strawberry and vanilla Almond mixed with Almond Milk. So far not too bad. Most of the Vitamins that I have purchased are in liquid form as I am told this will be easier for me to take although the dry Vitamin A and D I will have to crush. Biggest struggles will be with my not drinking my Diet Mt. Dew. I can't tell you how much I will miss it. I rarely drink and have given up smoking a long time ago. My soda was really my only vice and now have to give that up too. Since I do most of the cooking and have a family. Learning to make meals that my children will eat will be a struggle. I have two kids that are polar opposites and complain about everything. Even if it a meal I consider comfort food, they still complain. I guess for me growing up, this little chubby girl loved her Momma's southern roots! LOL I would love to keep this site/forum as a way to help me through this journey. It will allow me to give feedback/get advice and support. I pray you all have a safe and healthy journey as well.

I had an open Gastric Bypass back in 2001 when my weight was 235lbs. After 1+ years I weighed about 120lbs, but over the years since the surgery, I have gained almost 70 lbs. My current weight is 185lbs+/-. Recently, I read about Revision Surgery for those Gastric Bypass patients who have experienced significant weight gain: StomaphyX revision is a completely endoscopic revision technique[12] used to tighten a stretched gastric pouch using internal sutures or fasteners. It may be used in patients who have had prior Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery and have a stretched stomach pouch. Has anyone had Revision Surgery to lose weight post gastric bypass and if so, can you tell me/us about your experience with it? I have an appt with my Surgeon on May 30th so I am hoping I can learn from others before I broach the subject with her. Thank You!

It could be a number of things, really, and you'll likely never know what it happened. Transitioning to mushies/blended foods tends to cause most people to stall. I experienced a small gain at this point myself - about two pounds. If you're constipated, something like Miralax will get things moving again. This could be part of your problem, too. I drink it every other day in a cup of hot tea and don't have that problem any more. Whatever the cause, you know logically that you can't possibly be consuming enough calories to account for four pounds of weight gain. Wait it out, and I'm sure you'll be back on track in no time. While exercise is a good idea to shake your body out of a stall, I'd be taking it very easy just three weeks out and not doing much more than a brisk walk, if anything. ~Cheri

Cipro can cause weight gain. I wouldn't worry.

Hi all, I have been in maintaince mode since Sept., having reached my goal. I had a couple bad days and gained like 2 pounds. Over the last three days I have been very much back on track, eating like I did when I was loosing. However, each day I have gained 1/2 pound. 1/2 pound wouldn't worry me, but it happened 3 days in a row- 1.5 pounds seems signicant to me. Anyway, I went on an antiobiotic (cypro) for a UTI the other day and wonder if that could be it. Anyone know if antiobiotics can cause weight gain?

OK, caveat here: I'm 55 so not in your age group. I am 6 months out from my surgery, have dropped a little over half the 100 pounds I plan to lose. I don't exercise much beyond walking, and I have been very relaxed with my food intake. My daily goal is to meet protien needs then from there, whatever I want. I lose an average of 7 to 10 pounds a month which is very slow compared to many others. I do find that I have floppy arms, but I've always had issues with my upper arms. Beyond that, my belly apron is receding and the skin is firm. The skin on my legs is also firm. If I exercised, I'm sure it would be even better. In fact, I'm planning plastics, but really only my arms and boobs. I think the response of our skin is genetics, age, life experience (I've had two kids and had a massive abdominal surgery.) Pre-weight gain, I never had the apron till I hit 170 and as I drop back that direction, it looks like it may go away. Believe me, I'm crosssing my fingers!! My doctor suggested exercise, moisturizing and hydration for optimal skin thickening. I also believe that rapid weight loss contributes to the skin bagging. I use baby oil gel, body butters and oil formulated for scars and stretch marks. And I drink a LOT of fluids, and avoid sodium and alcohol. Best of luck!

Because I am 68 it could be the case that I will be refused the surgery as one surgeon has already said he will not do the sleeve or bypass on me due to this. I am seeing a surgeon on 27th April so hope he will give me the go ahead. If not as a diabetic I can try Forxiga which aids weight loss or there is Byetta or Eraglatide which are anorectics. These drugs are only used in type 2 diabetes. I know the surgery is risky but so is being very obese as my BMI is 38 and rising. My gastric band was in for 15 years and a lot changed in Bariatric surgery during this time. If there had been a revision say 7 years ago there would be no problem re my age so my advice is if you are fit and well and have a BMI over 37 and a chronic weight gain problem WLS is the way forward.

Yeah.....I'm with elcee on this one. My weight didn't come on from the drive thru. For the most part, I ate healthy. But the snacking in between meals; especially after dinner, coupled with the lack of exercise = weight gain. I love fries, but only ate them on occasion. When restaurants starting putting the calorie content on the menu, it was a VERY rude awakening! That salad I love is 800 calories. Add the bread & butter, and a few cookies after dinner, I'm already calorically into the next hemisphere! That doesn't take into account the other two meals of the day. Yep, not everyone eats fast food and bags of chips. But Bayougirl, I totally agree that SO many people who post, are in complete and utter denial!!

Good morning everyone, I am VERY upset at myself, I had a fill on February 28, 2011 I believe I am at 5cc in a 10cc band. This morning I weighed myself and gained 3 pounds!!! YES 3 pounds how is that possible. I am so MAD at myself, can this really happen?

Lol o crap really hope my feet don't lose to much weight. I was a 6.5 then with the weight gain a 7 and that has to be 7 wide with. I got at least 6 new pair of shoes at size 7. Just figured before the weight gain I was 6.5 so a 7 even if I lose should still..I'm praying fit. Got these killer Coach wedge sneakers Omg lol

I agree with both comments...romance her, take it back to how you got her in the first place but most importantly, talk to her as pdx stated. Weight gain for us women is a major buzz KILL when sex is involved and her being tired doesn't help matters either. But make time for a date night and let her know up front that ud like to talk to her about you guys relationship and how you both can pitch in to make it stronger. Although I'm sure she's proud of your weight changes, I'm also sure that it may be a little upsetting to her since u stated that she's gained weight. Even though WE are excited about our journeys, it may take our loved ones longer to understand what our bodies are going threw, heck, we r still learning, so be considerate and patient concerning that. But like I said, make time to talk to her and with her and don't make it about you feeling like a teenage boy again bc no woman wants a boy for a husband. God bless u both. Dee Dee

I too was so worried about going to my doctors this morning for my fill worried that she would scold me because I knew I had gained weight over the holidays, well needless to say I gained 4 POUNDS!! UGH, but she did not scold me. We identified the reasons for the weight gain and decided on a path forward. I recieved a fill and I'm back on track and ready to lose!! Don't be so hard on yourself, it happens.

When I asked my nutritionist, why some people who undergo surgery, lose a lot of weight then regain some or all the weight back. Her response was grazing. Grazing means to eat small portions of food, as appetizers or the like, in place of a full-sized meal or to snack during the course of the day in place of regular meals. A regain of 70 pounds is a lot. It will be hard to lose that much weight again. Some causes of weight gain are associated with medication. Some of the prescription medicine that can cause uncontrollable weight gain are: Anti-Depressants Birth control pills Hormones for hormone therapy Steroids Beta-blockers Anti-seizure medication Tamoxifen Some treatments for rheumatoid arthritis Treatments for migraines Heartburn medications Some medical conditions that can also cause weight gain are: Hypothyroidism Cushing's Syndrome Not enough sleep Seasonal Affective Disorder Preganancy

There is a significant amount of variability as to how much weight people lose following weight loss surgery. Research indicates that up to 20% of patients fail to lose the expected amount of weight following surgery. While there are surely surgical and medical explanations for this outcome, patient behavior has also been shown to play a role. Therefore, it is important for anyone having surgery to anticipate and understand factors under their control to improve outcome. I often tell patients, “The surgery does what the surgery does.” What I mean by this is that weight loss surgery almost certainly will affect how much food you can eat, but may do little to change what you eat. Weight loss surgery does not make you suddenly crave healthier and less caloric food. You have to make those choices for yourself. Additionally, while losing weight may make it easier for you to adopt a more active lifestyle, surgery itself will not make you suddenly fall in love with exercise. So making health behavior changes in addition to having surgery remains critical. So what specific health behavior changes have been shown to improve outcome? 1. Document what you eat – Many people strongly dislike writing down what they eat but there is evidence that this helps people after weight loss surgery as it does with non-surgical approaches. The reason is likely that documenting what you eat gives you valuable information about your behavior and allows you to make changes when necessary. Consider that your actual weight is the end product of what you eat, so weighing yourself gives you the results, but not the information necessary to make changes. For many, weighing themselves is a pass-fail exam. Either I’m a good boy or a bad boy. Consider that you can’t actually change your weight…you change what you eat and/or exercise, and that is what helps change your weight. Many people seem to have little or no objection to weighing themselves so why do so many people despise writing down what they eat? Writing down what you eat is the truth teller. It forces you to acknowledge what you are doing. To avoid seeing the truth, you can either change what you eat or stop writing it down. Unfortunately, many people choose the latter. The good news is that in the smartphone era, there are literally dozens of apps and other technological devices that can make documenting your food and activity level extremely easy. If you do a little research you can find one that is right for you. 2. Exercise – You probably saw this one coming as well because it makes sense. Regular exercise is a way of burning calories and losing weight that does not involve changing what you eat. Given how difficult it is to lose weight and keep it off, it would be silly not to take advantage of one of the few methods known to work. Ironically, it might not work the way you would expect. Many people who lose weight through exercise notice that it helps them not just by burning off calories, but also by affecting their food choices. In other words, when you discover how difficult it is to burn off 250 calories on a treadmill, you may think twice before having that chocolate bar afterwards. Not everyone finds this effect, but for those who do, it can make a big difference. When deciding what form of exercise to do, consider that you don’t need to become an Olympiad or a marathon runner. Many of the positive effects of exercise have been documented with just walking 30 minutes 3-4 times per week. If rigorous exercise is enjoyable for you, that’s great. But any time spent engaged in activity is beneficial...especially if you would otherwise be sitting on the couch watching all of those tempting food advertisements on television! 3. Stress Reduction – An increasing amount of research has documented a relationship between stress and weight gain. The obvious connection is that many people use food as a means of comforting themselves from distress, commonly called “emotional eating.” An interesting new discovery is that is that some people who report high levels of stress gain weight even when their calorie intake is unchanged. How is that possible? There is the suggestion that stress hormones and other chemicals may affect how our body metabolizes food and stores food. So even if you’re eating the same foods and the same number of calories, what your body does with those calories can vary. If you’re going to be successful in reducing stress, you need to begin by discovering what “pushes your buttons” and take steps to change. One first step could be to document the things that you find to be stressful. Sometimes just writing down your problems makes them less frightening now that they’re just words on a page. For other people, writing their sources of stress naturally leads them to write what they might do about them. Another good idea is to investigate some simple stress management techniques. Many refer to them as relaxation or meditation exercises. As discussed earlier, there are a number of excellent smartphone apps and other technology-based methods of relaxation that you can explore. No one is better than the rest so just find one that works for you and begin to incorporate relaxation/meditation into your daily routine. If reducing your stress requires more than practicing relaxation techniques, consider speaking to a psychologist or other mental health professional to get the help you need. 4. Get some sleep – Here’s another suggestion that you’ve probably seen in the media recently. There is growing consensus of an obesity-sleep connection. Like exercise, the benefits of sleep are more than meets the eye. The obvious connection is that if you’re up longer, you become hungrier and are likely to eat late at night. This interpretation is not wrong, however, new research suggests that people who get 7 or more hours of sleep tend to maintain lower weights even when people with fewer hours of sleep consume the same amount of calories. How is that possible? Again, it’s not just how many calories we eat…but what our bodies do with those calories. Unfortunately, an increasing number of people are so busy between their work and social lives (not to mention all those tempting television shows) that sleep is not a priority. Just know that making sleep the last priority comes at a cost. Consider how we train children to sleep. We create a nighttime ritual to ease kids to bed. There’s dinner, wind down time, then bath time, maybe reading a story or two in bed, and then lights out. Many adults however have a terrible routine. Eat a big dinner at 9pm, catch up on emails and pay bills, watch television for an hour or so and then fall asleep on the couch and stumble into bed at 2AM only to have to wake up three or four hours later. Try to change your sleep habits by changing your nighttime ritual. Eat an earlier dinner. Try to pay bills and check your emails at another time. Use the evening as wind down time. Rather than fall asleep on the couch, watch a set amount of television or Internet time and then turn it off and “put yourself to bed.” Begin by trying to go into bed a half-hour early every night for a week and see how you feel. If you notice some improvements in your level of energy, mood, appetite or other factors, see if you can make it permanent. 5. Join a Support Group – Some research has demonstrated that patients who participate in support groups lose and maintain more weight than those who don’t. Of course it may depend on the content of the group and who attends, but adding a social element to your weight loss and weight maintenance goals seems to help. This may relate to the accountability factor discussed earlier. If “we’re all in it together,” there may be more of a commitment to stick to your goals to help out the group. Or perhaps it motivates you not to be the one group member who is falling behind. Either way, participating in support groups seems to have benefits both in terms of weight loss as well as emotional well being after surgery. There are other suggestions of course, such as improving your diet by reducing carbohydrates in favor of lean protein and a more plant-based diet. However, for many people, changing their diet can push all of those emotional “diet” buttons; so before you make those changes (or in addition to making those changes), strongly consider some of the changes recommended above. There is evidence that the benefits are additive. For example, many people find that when they exercise, they sleep better and in turn these changes help them manage stress better. The key is to acknowledge whether or not some of the factors above are problem areas for you and to begin making small changes. Sometimes small changes can lead to big results!

AT 5+ years, I am still a work in progress. I still maintain at 55% EWL. I gained over 35 pounds in the last year+. Easy as pie. Literally. I can eat anything, and in large amounts if spread over time. I still do not drink with meals unless I have breakfast out which is not often. I reach for food when emotional or stressful situations come up. I know it... I watch it, I work on it. I mostly write down what I eat, and watch Protein, but those weeks that I don't, I gain. It is not easy to get off. Yes the sleeve still works. I eat less at any sitting... protein first really makes me feel full faster. I continue exercise, and recommitted again.... just finished the 5 day "pouch" test with a 5 pound loss and a lowering of the Carb addiction. One step at a time. The head has to be in the game, just like before weight loss surgery. The sleeve helps... it is a tool, just like they say, and has helped me to maintain at least 50 pound loss for 5 years. I had a weight gain at 2+ years and worked to get to goal after that... so I know I can do it. I think for me, this is something I need to watch and plan every day.... when I don't I gain. I am very happy I got the sleeve though.... VERY HAPPY. Kindle, so true! I didn't see that. @@feedyoureye - Is putting on the weight post-op much easier than it was pre-op? During the week I'm pretty structured but on the weekends I tend to be a little more relax. I normally eat whatever I want, but I still have been losing weight. I think it's because I walk an hour each day. I'm still in the pre-op stage but I was recently approved for the Bypass. I'm thinking of having the approval changed to the VSG because the RNY scares me.

Good evening all, im new here and not sure i posted in the right place but figured id give it a go, I really need some 'spousal support' here....im the fiance to be exact, however. I apOlogize in advance, as this will be long...My fiance had sleeve in November 2014, though I am extremely proud of him, as he is doing amazing and recovery went smoothly and all, despite him being down 92 pounds already, im having a lot of struggles and the pre and post-op stuff and its really effecting our relationship when it arises. When were good, were solid, when were bad, im more depressed than ever. To sum up the timeline; he struggled with the decision for surgery for about 2.5 yrs or so, basically since I had met him. Obviously his weight was no issue for me, ive struggled with my weight all of my life, as well. In fact, ive always been attracted to husky guys but he was the largest man i ever dated and i fell completely in love! I fell in love with him as a big man and love him regardless, its the changes and obsessions im concerned about (i'll get to that). Prior to his decision, we talked a lot about it and though i always told him if he chose to do so, id spport him, i was against it solely because in the time ive been with him, hes never seen anything through when it came to his weight, even though hed see great results! Prior to me meeting him, he did a medical weight loss program consisting mainly of shakes and lost about 110lbs, but gained it all back once he came off the shakes, coupled with some depression from a breakup and such. Post us meeting, i was about 25lbs smaller than i am now, which obviously bothers me, but again a struggle all my life...i was still however going to the gym, eating right, following tools from weight watchers etc. After some time of us being together, he would speak of wanting to lose weight, we talked about how having a buddy is helpful, etc, so id invite him to the gym with me, invite him to weight watcher meetings, etc. he would never come, so after a few weeks i figured he really wasnt into it and i stopped inviting. After some time, our relationship got more serious, i stopped getting to the gym as much bc wed want to spend more time togeher but that also equalled us going out to dinner more, staying in, being less active, etc. hence the start of my 25lb weight gain and him gaining more as well. With all of that being said.....he met with a surgeon in August/September and HE made a decision to have the surgery. He never spoke to me about it, as he had in the past, and when hed mention it wed fight bc id remind him that ill support it but i was worried he was having surgery and wished he would have at least talked to me before making the devision, and/or TRIED something first and seen it through;, tried the medical program again, a support type program like WW etc as he had previously done them and saw results but never saw them thru. I had reminded him i had gained weight since we met and i had begun working on that, maybe it was something we can try to do together before he decided on surgery. Initally he said no, then suddenly came home (he moved in with me in August, as well) one day and informed me he had joined weight watchers and was going to go to a group that week....i told him that was great and immediately took out all the materials i had previously gotten from family members that we could use (with the hope hed eventually want to try this route with me), picked up my food scale from my parents home, support guides, calculators, etc. and let him know i was all in for us to do it together. In addition, since we were now living together, i again began inviting him to the gym with me...nothing came of the gym or ww. After some time, little fights here and there about food, him effecting my eating habits, preventing me from going to the gym (id say i want to go after work, hed plan an activity or wanna go out to dinner, etc) and basically him binging all the time since he had made his decision, and my concerns for his health. Shortly thereafter again he returned home this time having went through with a new surgeon and now awaiting a surgery date. I was beyond devestated and angry! I felt he completely disregarded my concerns he knew of for him having this and even though i disagreed, its like he refused to even let me be part of his decision meanwhile i felt here i am trying to encourage you, in a different capacity, but encourage none the less BEFORE jumping to surgery. Not to mention, we now share bills but I was covering them all for about 4 months, as he is in debt and im not and i told him being i own my apartment and its my mortgage id carry that until were married and give him 3 mos before hed start paying his portion of monthly bills for the home,so he can try to pay off more debt first...he couldnt save money to pay help pay OUR bills but here he was setting up to have another bill for surgery, while were still paying off his eye surgery, student loan, car, etc in the midst of me carrying all of the household bills, saving for a wedding, etc and he makes significantly more money than me. Maybe financially this wasnt the time but we never even talked about it in definitive means, at all. Dont get me wrong, ive told him time and time agan, his weight was never an issue for me, but his health absolutely was! He is 30 yrs old with diabetes in his family and already on meds for high blood pressure. I digress....he chose the gastric sleeve and though i still disagreed with surgery, did feel it was his best option, which helped me a little...pre-op he was on a liquid diet for 2 weeks and lost 27lbs. I prepared everything for him, spent hours after work at night reading all of the materials from the doctors, etc. we'd fight, but moreover now bc i felt he didnt ask the doctor pertinent information, he rushed into a decision, hes gullable to begin with and i felt like he never told me anything unless i asked....i never even knew when his appointments were for all the pre testing! So, i joined an online forum and read endless at work, at home, when i couldnt sleep, etc. though i spoke to him about all of my concerns, he only seems to focus on my concern of him eventually no longer being attracted to me once hes skinny and feeling different about himself, since im not skinny and currently larger than when we met (minus 10lbs ive recently lost...im 5'0 170lbs, not huge but thick))...he doesnt seem to hear that one concern is more deep rooted and doesnt directly correlate to his surgery, but moreover some changes in him ive seen since he moved in with me and since he made a decision to have the surgery. Regardless, he believes what he will despite how i try to argue what my actual feeling/thought is. November came, i broke down the night before his surgery about not wanting him to go in, afraid he hasnt thought his through, wont wake up, wanted a quick fix, etc. His surgery thankfully went great, as did his recovery and he is now down 92lbs since November....i am extremely proud of him and think he looks great! Here are my concerns, one he has become obsessed with weighing himself daily. His attitude towards me has seemed to change completely as if i have no opinion on anything esp his new journey but it pours into household decisions, wedding plans, etc. he asks me my thoughts/feelings but then argues when im honest or he walks away. he cannot go a single day without mentioning how skinny he looks, his surgery, etc. im running out of responses wuthout being robotic or sarcastic. We walk in a store, he sees a mirror and stops or disengages bc hes looking at himself. we have countless convos about his food choices and when i try to make him realize portion control and helathier decisions is focus, not restriction he argues with me and we get in a huge fight, but when he eats something he considers bad or off diet (a food hes restricted or whatnot), he justifies it. He eats much of the same stuff and ive told him im concerned hell get bored and binge, hell argue me, then last week is complainiing hes bored of his food. He already obviously eats small portions and was up to about 6oz per sitting however went to the doctor today and because hes ahead of the game in his recovery, the doctor wants him to restrict more food and eat smaller portions yet intially told him kt was okay to increase if he felt hungry, but not if he felt satisfied. He is a big boned guy, built like a football player and very broad. I have grave conerns the his surgeon has convinced him to get to this magic number of 230lbs and not only do i think it is unhealthy but i also think hell be way too small. Not to mention, my fiances magic number went from 250 to now 220! I try to let him know theres no magic number, so long as he is happy, healthy and maintains his improvements in choices and such, its about him being comfortable, healthy and hapoy with himself, not a number on a chart! he argues me. Its like i cannot have an opinion on anything when it comes to this....every step of the way i feel he shuns me out, disregards my concerns etc. theres days i think he thinks i dont want him to be successful but its moreover i dont want him to be excessive and put weight back on, as he has time and time again, he has a trainer now, for 2 months after being cleared there was an issue with his training sessions, i told him lets still go to the gym together. He wouldnt, he relied on waiting on the trainer. He claimed hed go to the gym 6 days a week, i encourgaed him to start with 2-3 days and work to more or slowly Increase to keep himself with a goal thats attainable and maintable over time, fights break out. But yet he only goes to tge gym 2 maybe 3 times a week. Now, when we have days off together, we go to the gym together, he works with the trainer i dont, as we couldnt afford the trainer to begin with for one of us, let alone 2, so i told him he can do it. But i ask him to teach me things hes learning from the trainer or ask about stuff i can do (they know he comes to sessions with his fiance) and its like he purposely never wants to share with me. Many times, he makes comments like 'have that cookie for me', 'have some pizza for me'....its like he wants me to gain as he loses, sabotage me butne remains successful meanwhile he knows i struggle with weight loss to begin with, too. I tried to talk to him tonight, after he told me his doc wants him eating less and another fight broke out....he tells me 'its my freakin body' after i explained to him i was upset bc i feel like he asks why im upset but doesnt want to hear it and im upset bc im worried hes not necessarily being healthy if hes eating even less, considering he doesnt eat much because of the surgery. I tried telling bim that i understand its coming from a doctor but it also seems the doctor has an ideal weight for you that may not be individualized for you. He yelled at me and walked away. In the past ive tried explaining to him, at my smallest i was 19lbs above the american standard, but i looked sick and my family was ready to admit me for an eating disorder. Ive tried telling him that in my opinion, the standards do not take into consideration someones body type and how they carry their weight, its just a mathematical number. Ive told him that i really wish hed not focus on this magic number and focus on making healthy decisions and being active and how great i think he looks now, down almost 100lbs. He always starts a fight about it. Im beyond spent! I go to his support groups, when i can get there on time since its a 2-hour commute for me, from work....im one of the only people there as a support and they offer the support/spouses no support....so i go for him but i feel i have nowhere to take out my frustrations or talk about them. I truly believe in talking about things, or even fighting so long as theres resolution, being able to get things out rather than let things build up but he walks away from me.....when it comes to family and friends, i dont talk to them because i feel its 1- unfair to divulge his/our personal business and 2- unfair to let them know these struggles and how its effecting US because were engaged and i dont want anyone discouraging his weight loss or swaying us to rethink our marriage because of it. I absluetly feel we can work it out but im lost for what to do. I feel like i have nowhere to go, he wont talk to me or hear my concerns, he wont ask his doctors about my concerns just acts like their word is gold....so when he asks me why im upset and i try to tell him and it causes a fight, i later let him know you ask me but dont want to hear anything from me, you only seem truly concerned about what your doctor says and a degree doesnt make him anymore important than me. I tried telling him today, im not angry but what hurts and bothers me is he doesnt seem to care when he asks me, he asks to say he asked. Next to all of this, prior to him deciding on his surgery and having it, i began eating better and getting back to the gym. I suffer from a thyroid disease and ceased metabolism, and therfor struggle like crazy to lose weight and tone up. But of course, i easily gain. Regardless, i didnt have surgery so my weight loss will be muuuuuuch slower than his. He has never seemed to support me with losing weight and toning, but is quick to critisize my gym routine (i usually go 2-4 times a week...before he didnt care, now he contantly tells me i should go more), , i eat too little sometimes or no at all, etc. He knows ive been trying, making better decisions, encouraging him to stay on track etc, he will want to go get forzen yogurt, ill say no, hell convince me, then tell me im such a horrible support for him. He'll 'cheat' at home but in front of friends and family, eats like a bird, as if hes showing off but so far, will always eat later on when we get home! I have a feeling he told his doctor his eating has been worse than it actually has been bc some days hes very hard on himself and some days hes very reasonable and sees this is a process and journey and not every day will be great but it doesnt mean hes failing. I dont think his surgery entails him not eating. It entails him learning moderation and such, at least everything i read and have hard has said so. I shared with him one day MY excitement of how a coworker made a comment about me losing weight and looking 'brighter' and he got mad, telling me he tells me all the time....he has never once told me hes noticed ive lost weight, and ive now lost about 13lbs in total. In fact, its been quite some time since hes seemed to even notice me, period! I can walk past him naked and it doesnt phase him. I can tell him i lost another pound or 2, he barely responds to me. Ive explained these things to him, as well, as more examples of how things between US have changed since he moved in/made this decision and how the decision was going to effect us both but he never thought to include me in it. Our sex life is lacking completely, which again for me has been an issue that both coincide with, along with some 'personal' things i feel hed rather do than be intimate with me. He denies it all, tells me im crazy. Ive flat out asked him if hes cheated or is no longer interested in me or attracted to me, he denies it all and says its just natural changes bc were living together now. I dont disagree with that being partly the reason and i do not think hes cheating or trying to. I just am beyond broken lately and feel i have nowhere to go! I need help.....i dont know how to support something when 1- i disagreed with it being a first option, 2- i feel completly shut out and disregarded, 3- i feel it gets thrown in my face and only adds to criticism towards me, 4- seems to be consuming him and effecting our otherwise strong relationship, etc etc etc. I know this is a novel....i just dont know what to do anymore! Im a therapist and although ive got a lot of tools in my arsenol, i dont have the slightest clue what to do anymore when it comes to this....i feel ive tried everything! Ive been supportive, bitchy, ignored, etc. nothing seems to improve anything and im growing more and more angry, sad, etc Can anyone help, or recommend something? Ohhh and lastly, i dont feel comfortable inquiring about a spousal support group with the surgical team/office he used, since it turns out the PA who performed his surgery with the doctor, is his friends ex-girlfriend....i dont fear shed be unprofessional, as it seems she has been since day one, but i just dont feel 100% comfortable, not to mention its a 2-hour commute for me. Again, i apologize for the length....i hope someone can help or guide me! Thank you all for your time!

@@tenseintexas, Good question! Those coke cravings can be pretty intense, and it’s hard to stay away! At 9 weeks out, there’s a good chance you wouldn’t be able to have coke comfortably. As the others have said, you might get bloated, gassy, uncomfortably full, or nauseous, or you could get diarrhea. There’s no telling how long those effects will last; there is a chance it could be months or years before you can comfortably have soft drinks no matter how badly you want them. If you are able to drink some coke comfortably, it’s a good idea to stay aware of some of the potential problems it could lead to. While a lot of surgeons believe that the sleeve cannot be stretched, drinking carbonated beverages could still lead to getting used to being overfull, and that defeats the purpose of the sleeve for helping you monitor fullness. You would also want to be super aware of links between soda drinking (even diet soda) and weight gain, plus the potential for drinking coke being a gateway for slipping back into old habits. In general, it's best to do what the surgeon says! Along with those reasons for avoiding soft drinks and other carbonated drinks, there is the concern about sugar substitutes in diet drinks. Even though diet drinks are calorie-free, drinking them can actually lead to weight gain. Some evidence shows that artificial sweeteners trick your body into thinking you’re going to eat sugar. Later, you crave it and are more likely to eat more high-calorie sugary foods. Plus, your blood sugar levels can get out of whack. Good luck with your choice and the rest of your WLS journey!

Ouch, I hear you, I'm not bipolar, I have major depression, but Effexor alone doesn't work for me, I have to take a cocktail of meds, and a few of the ones I take cause weight gain. You know counsellors and drug treatment programs are confidential. NA is confidential. The only people that will need to know are you, and which ever professionals or support groups you choose to involve. These are people who are either very experienced in working with addiction and are not judgemental, but understanding health workers, or people who share the same struggles you do. If you feel the need to hide it from people in your life and your family you can still do that and get help, you can tell them you are getting help around your depression or whatever, but don't let it hold you back. You might want to look into taking a mood stabilizer in a lower dose rather than cutting it out completely. Have you tried Tegretol? It's an anticonvulsant med like Depakote, some people find they have less side effects on some meds than on others, you may have less weight issues on one than you do on another. What I've chosen to do with my weight gaining side effect meds are to take as low a dose as I can with still getting a positive effect. A lot of the weight gain from these meds comes from them causing you to crave carbs and to cause you to feel hungry all the time, with the band, a lot of those side effects are minimized or gone totally. I'm still on my meds that cause weight gain, but since being banded I -am- losing weight. I talked about it a lot with my family Dr, with my psychiatrist, and with my surgeon, and they all felt you can still lose the weight with the band, while taking meds that cause weight gain. So don't give up on them. Get help, and get yourself back on track, you deserve it. big hugs Leila

I just posted on another thread, then found this one. Here's what my other post said, "I was banded on July 19, lost 15 lbs from surgery to 2 1/2 week post op. I've gained back 5 lbs! I have my first fill on August 20. I'm feeling like a failure at having gained 5 lbs. Did anyone else experience this? I eat, I don't feel full EVER...could I have already stretched my pouch? I'm just really scared and ashamed that maybe I've done something wrong." After reading what y'all have posted here, I do feel a little bit better. I still am a bit concerned that I've stretched my pouch or something--or is that normal post-op paranoia? I have no restriction, have never had a PB, eat pretty much anything I want, and honestly haven't started my exercise yet. I do get all of my Water in and most of my 70 grams of Protein. I guess I just need to knuckle down and get serious. Maybe do my Protein drinks for a few days. I'm embarrassed to think I'll go in for my first fill showing a weight GAIN! Aargh! Any ideas?

I don't think the 18 y/o girl I was then is much different then the 44 y/o woman I am today. That is besides the weight gain. But even that may not be such a suprise to her. I remember one summer at camp the preacher was doing a teaching on marriage. He said guys look at your girls mom - thats what your wife will look like when she is her age. Bingo! I've become my mother! Seriously tho - at 18 I weighed 103 today I weigh 220 - at 22 when I was pg with my first child I remember be SO embarrassed because I weighed 160! I don't think that 18 y/o girl would ever believe she would gain over 100 lbs. I remember after my 2nd child weighing 125 and talking to my doctor about it - my goal is 150 - yeah she'd be a bit suprised by the weight gain. As far as all the other stuff - life has gone as planned. I married my love at the ripe young age of 17, we've been married 27 years - have 3 beautiful healthy happy drugfree children - and a job I love. I gave my life to the Lord at 22 and I believe He has kept me and I have no regrets - I was married 5 years before the first baby - stay at home mom for 12 years - worked part-time until just 5 years ago and love my job. I am happy & content.

That’s really good to hear. Am very concerned about jumping out of metabolic frying pan and into a fire. Knowing that nutrition is still so very far from an exact science and same for the collective mechanisms that influence appetite and weight gain, this kind of feedback is fab to have :-) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

When I was a baby, my father remarked to my mother: 'She's going to have problems with her weight in the future.' Apparently I was physically very similar to his mother. It turned out he was right but not for the reasons he believed. Ironically, it was his life choices that set me on the road to super morbid obesity. Whenever I want to imagine myself as slim and fit I have to go way back through the photo albums to the age of twelve or so. My thighs were so muscular, tanned and slim then! I ate normally, felt normally, behaved normally. I had friends at school, worked hard, and as the daughter of a vicar, was expected to behave impeccably. At the age of twelve my father abruptly left his children, his job and his wife for another woman and we had to vacate the vicarage quickly. We moved to a small, moldering terraced house in a rough part of Manchester. Our diet changed to extremely poor quality food as my mother struggled to care for her three children without the assistance of Child Support (I don't think it had been invented then). I ate to comfort myself, to choke down my feelings of abandonment and sadness. I stole change from my mother to buy sweets, I sneaked out of school at lunchtimes to go home and eat chips and cry on my own. My weight gain and my obvious differences in life experiences from my new classmates meant I was bullied, not only by the 'in crowd' of girls in their smart clothes, but also by my sadistic PE teacher, who on one occasion brought a tape measure into the girls' changing rooms and measured everyone's vital statistics. The closer to the fabled 36-24-36 they were, the more they were congratulated upon for being 'nearly right'. My home life didn't improve. My mother met a man who was an alcoholic and he moved in after their second date. Years of drink, violence, abuse and other horrors took its toll on my mental health and I began self-harming in secret. How is a fourteen year old schoolgirl, already reeling from changes in her life supposed to react when she comes home from school to find her stepfather passed out in the garden, his trousers to his knees, fully exposed and wet from urinating on himself? Worse still was later on when he had come round, expected to sit around the dinner table as if nothing had happened. My weight climbed and my self-esteem plummeted. At fifteen I went on my first ever diet. A quarter of a glass of grapefruit juice for breakfast, half a slice of dry toast for lunch and a quarter of a tin of mushroom soup for dinner. I lost weight, I obsessed about food constantly and my yo-yo had begun its lifelong twirling. I dieted several times in my life - sure to lose many stones then just as surely putting them back on and some. One does not simply wake up at 27 stone, it is the peak of years of food use, abuse and denial. My last big loss was in 2008 when I lost almost eight stone through strict diet and increased exercise. Four years later ... every stone is back and they, as always, brought a couple of friends back with them. I know this would have been the pattern for my almost certainly truncated life had I not had the incredible good fortune to have a mother about to receive a hefty inheritance along with a deep sense of guilt and regret for some of her life choices. I asked her several months ago if she would consider releasing some of the funds that she intended leaving to her children in the future early, enabling me to have private WLS. She said yes. It has happened very, very quickly. A medical screen by a bariatric nurse yesterday, followed by a consultation with a surgeon booked for next Tuesday. As soon as the funds come through (early December) I will have a date for a sleeve gastrectomy booked. The WLS is only ever going to be an aid, not a cure for my weight. I know I have years of poor eating habits and psychological difficulties to work on. But I have never been in a happier place personally than I am now. A husband (blimey!), a sense of direction (future children and employment) and a maturity of self set me in good stead for this undertaking. Bring it on.

I have a weight gain every month a couple of days before my period starts. I also stall or gain when I take some medications for my sinuses. It is frustrating to say the least, but after 4 months, I am no longer terrified by it and know it will be gone in a week and I will be back on the losing track.

I was scheduled for the lapband, I did all the pre-op stuff & my BMI ended up being too low (my psychiatrist took my off a major weight gaining drug & I lost 90lbs in 4.5 months) well, a year later I was on massive amounts of steroids due to another health condition and gained weight again-my endocrinologist highly recommended the sleeve over the lapband.. So I decided to go with that. Yeah get a second opinion.. I yo-yo'd all the time & that can't be healthy (I also take beta blockers-well did for tachycardia) it didn't stop my surgery..