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I'm guessing by now you have had your surgery. How are you doing? You don't need those unsupportive people in your life...you have us!

Well, this whole thing has just gotten a lot more "real" for me. So I guess I'll start the "my story" part. I've been overweight my whole life. First diet as a pre-teen. Lots of family of origin stuff. Likely a similar story to a vast majority of the people here. I did pretty OK as an active "fluffy" woman for many years - did belly dance, went skiing, took Krav Maga... as someone else said here, I was healthy and doing well, until I wasn't. A knee injury ended up with a knee reconstruction and 18 months of rehab, then I decided to change careers (IT to nursing) and my weight started climbing through nursing school and my health started crumbling. First I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, then my irritable bowel flared up, then I had a reaction to a medication and ended up needing a heart procedure (all fixed). Then I graduated from nursing school, and thought the active job would help. Then aches and pains in joints, especially my feet, started me on a hunt for a diagnosis. Auto-immune arthritis changed everything for me. Without medication, I was rapidly approaching a point where I couldn't do my job as an ER nurse. With medication, I'm susceptible to infections, which doesn't bode well for a nurse, especially in the ER. I started treatment and left my dream job. Luckily, I have extensive IT experience and coupled with my RN and ICU/ER experience, I was able to transition into a healthcare informatics job. That's when I realized that the 13,000 steps per shift (3 times a week) was actually helping in relation to my weight, because the scale started trending up almost immediately after changing back to a desk job. Topped 300 lbs (which had been my "I will never let myself be that weight" weight) and I started seriously considering VSG. Discussed VSG with my rheumatologist who enthusiastically supported it. Now I'm going through the insurance hurdles. Met with the surgeon, very much liked her. Met with the nutritionist, who was about what I expected and had nothing new to offer me. This week I went back to my cardiologist to ask for surgery clearance. When he did my procedure 4 years ago, he wanted a followup stress test after a year. A couple of scheduling screw-ups (one on his staff, one on my part), several job/insurance changes, night shifts, and then the auto-immune stuff kept me from getting that done. However, in the ICU and ER I had many opportunities to offer myself as a test subject for people learning to do EKG's so I knew my heart was fine. Anyway, he was really encouraging about the surgery and scheduled me for a stress test next week so he can clear me ASAP. I meet with the doc in my surgeon's office who does her supervised diet followups, as my insurance requires 3 months of that silliness. My rheumy will write the required 2nd opinion that I need surgery, and then I need to get my therapist to clear me or if she won't (I'm seeing her for food issues, but she's mildly opposed to the surgery on principle) go see whoever my doc's office has. Since I already have sleep apnea and sleep with my CPAP, I don't need a sleep study. I swear, all of this nonsense is going to cost me hundreds of dollars in copays before we even get to the EGD and VSG. Luckily I've already almost met my deductible for the year. I feel like I'm in limbo right now, doing the insurance hoops dance to get approval. So it hasn't been feeling "real" but somehow felt so much more so when I met with my cardiologist. We're targeting early August for the surgery, and that seems so far away. But it's not, really. In some ways I'm incredibly lucky. I have a super supportive husband who loves me no matter what weight I am, but who will also do whatever he needs to support me in being healthier. He'd love to be more active than my current situation allows, and prefers to eat healthily. So I won't have him sabotaging me or being unsupportive. My closest friends (chosen family, really) are concerned because we know people who have had serious complications (and a couple for whom the surgery may have contributed long-term to their deaths) but they are also super supportive. I have a sister who had the VSG several years ago in S. Korea, and she's been pressuring me to have it ever since. Which is nice, but she's one of those people who are convinced her way is the only way, so it can also be very annoying. My Dad thinks I just need to buck up and eat right and exercise, and my Mom is worried that the complications my sister has had (not really related to the surgery, except in Mom's mind) and doesn't want me to do it. I have a good job that is not very physical, so my time off work will be minimized (I'm planning one week completely off, then working from home 1-2 weeks as needed) and my boss is super supportive. So really, I have everything I need. It'll be up to me to follow through with this and do what I need to do, in order to be healthy. And learn some patience until this summer.

My sister and I are doing this together. We've told our mother, and my husband ONLY. That's all we intend to tell! We expect the questions, the whispers, and the unsupportive people. We are even expecting the ones who will pretend to be supportive, but are actually the biggest haters! Makes us no nevermind; we are excited about our journey, not them! Hate on haters!

Ah, I totally get where you are coming from. It reminds me of this habit my mom has. If you call her on bad behavior, she'll deny it, and argue with you. But then she goes home and thinks about it. If she discovers you are right, she will change the behavior, but it is never brought up again. If you do bring something like this up, you have somehow remembered it wrong and it was never like that. My mom was always supportive of me being banded, but as an example, if she hadn't been, but then became supportive, she would deny ever having been unsupportive, you know? It sounds kind of like the same thing. If I was in your situation, and called my mom on your mom's behavior, she'd say things like "I just didn't know how it worked" or "I thought it was like the bypass" or even "I didn't say that". I wonder if anyone every truly understand their parents, lol

Both my mom and sister have each had WLS. Neither of them made the necessary changes and both lost a very minimal amount of weight. They were the only two people I told besides my husband. They were unsupportive. Both said it was a waste of my time and money and that I should just do it on my own. I figured that if 2 people who have been through it wouldn't support me, I didn't need to waste my time convincing anyone else. I live my life for me, my husband, and our kids: as long as we are in agreement, no other opinions matter. After surgery, when my weight loss is showing, I will proudly tell people.,

Tiffy - thanks for your response. I talked to my PCM today and he straight up said not to TTC just yet. I am still having issues getting my food in, and he said I really ought to wait until at least next July. So for now, we're going to shelve the TTC. Not that there's much to "shelve" since our embryos are in a freezer in Ukraine! My labs are okay but not as great as they could be. I have a real problem eating enough calories - like I said I'm still dependent on one Protein shake a day to get calories and protein up. That said, I easily keep my calories around 1,000 a day while I'm on shakes and while my carbs aren't up to 100 yet I shuffle between 50-70 net carbs a day. I still lose at the same pokey rate as I did when I was eating only 20-30 a day and I feel better. I just wanted to reassure you. Trying to get pregnant and going through that disappointment every month sucks. There is nothing like that horrible feeling every time you get a little excited that it could be this month...and then your period starts. I used to get so hopeful that I'd actually cause my period to be late with the stress. I was a monster by the end of the third year we were TTC. My docs kept telling me it was my weight, though. "Just lose a little more weight and it'll happen." Nobody tested DH at all because he has other children from his first marriage. When we finally got a RE that tested him it turns out he has severe male factor infertility. I mean, we did ICSI and he had TEN normal, healthy swimmers in the sample. There was no way we were getting pregnant on our own. We had a better chance of winning the lotto! But I understand - we tried for SO stinking long - every month was this horrible disappointment replete with tears, yes, tantrums and then depression. I finally had to stop charting and try to adopt that "it'll happen when it happens" stance, too. But patience is NOT my strong suit, either. I saw no reason why I couldn't just get pregnant. I had friends bawling to me about not wanting to be pregnant with their third kid in four years...and I was the most unsupportive friend ever. I just wanted to tell them all to shut up! It all seemed so horribly unfair. I know a lot of women that went through secondary infertility. Hopefully the Clomid will do the trick and you won't have anything to worry about. You're still young so your eggs should be in great shape. You're right that you've been through a lot - it might just be your body saying "take it easy, we've been through a lot lately." Have you had a HSG yet to make sure you have no blockages? Tricare covers them, so see if you can get one done if you haven't yet. Bring it up to your fertility doc for sure. If you have a problem like a blockage, Clomid won't do the trick and you'll just waste time and energy. In any case, a close friend of mine had some luck with Clomid and had her daughter three years ago. Having her daughter resolved the issues and they had no trouble conceiving a second child a year and a half later. Hopefully you'll have a similar outcome and will only endure this one round of Clomid. We did two rounds of Clomid before they figured out my DH was the problem. It caused me a few side effects but wasn't bad at all. We moved right from Clomid to IVF with ICSI once we had his diagnosis. Take care and thanks for the information. I am not a patient woman and I might have charged ahead without consulting my PCM first. I think I'll need to get my eating in order and maybe even lose another 30 pounds before I go the TTC route again. I still want to see someone have a kid and then get back to goal and post here, though! ~Cheri

I'm so sad when I read about unsupportive family members bringing home or cooking tempting foods. I have to say I pretty much control the food in my home. I do the grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking. Having this control has really helped me avoid my trigger foods.

My parents certainly aren't perfect, but after reading so many posts on here, I am so thankful that they are them. My Mom, Dad, and brother, along with my partner, have been my rock throughout this entire journey. To those with unsupportive families, I'm sorry. Do what you know is right for you and move forward with improving your health and your life. Ultimately we are responsible for our own health and happiness!

I don’t have anywhere/anyone else to vent about this weird behavior to so I’m putting it here so anyone else with weird/unsupportive people in their lives can commiserate. I had surgery in May, after beginning the process in December. Things are going great, I’m losing weight slowly but surely, feeling great, and beginning to love my new appearance. You all know how it goes. Anyway, my mother was unsupportive surgery, didn’t think I should do it, tried to make me second guess myself, told me how she would NEVER do something so drastic, that she and I just needed to get on a diet together and lose our weight the “right way.” I got surgery anyway, and now I’m nearly 60 pounds down and over half way to my goal weight. I weigh less than my mom and now she is telling me that she has only been eating 800 calories a day and she’s going to lose weight without surgery and every time we are together and she is eating, she makes a point to eat a few bites and tell everyone how full she is, how she simply cannot eat that much food! It’s bizarre and annoying. I hope she does diet and lose weight, and if she wants to eat 800 calories, that’s up to her, but it’s just obnoxious and silly the way she is carrying on when we are together. Can anyone relate? Has anyone been weird about their own diets/weight with you since surgery?

Don't delete the site. There is so much helpful info and so many helpful and kind people on here. Don't be afraid to post exactly what you want also! You will find after being on here for a while that it's the same handful of people that are always rude and have sarcastic, childish and unsupportive responses non stop. It shouldn't be like that but it is. Be the adult and look past them or if it's really bothersome to you, block them. I stopped reading responses from said handful of people. I scan right over them. They mean nothing to me. I don't know them and they don't know me. With that said, Grilled cheese may not have been the best choice but come on, you ate it, nobody else. Not sure why it effects them so much. Congrats on your weight-loss and glad your mistake taught you a lesson. We have all learned things the hard way. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Family and friends can be unsupportive because they're worried or because they don't understand the process or your position. We all go through this, and we all grieve the loss of our comforting food friends. The fact is, you need to decide if you hate being fat more than you love those foods. They aren't gone forever, so take heart in that. They're out for now, and for a while post op, but as you learn better eating habits you'll find you crave those foods less. Once you're at that point it's not hard to have them in moderation. The sleeve is going to make the moderation thing a LOT easier. If you're not starving all the time it's much easier to be satisfied with a small glass of wine or a single slice of pizza. Don't talk yourself out of this procedure. Your fears are normal, and I promise, they'll be easier to deal with post op. ~Cheri

I have been so completely hyped up about the LAP-BAND®® that I cant stop thinking about it. There are several people that I am not sure whether I will be telling them about it or not, but there is one friend I have at school that I decided to tell. Her reaction totally bummed me. I was chatting with her and she basically kept asking me questions like "Well, if you have to exercise and eat healthy anyways.. why do you need the band, cant you just save the money?" :biggrin: I tried to answer the question but she really caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting a negative response from her so my answer probably came out sounding dumb. She kept saying "i totally support you, but.." followed with something totally unsupportive. Mentioning how she knows so many people including herself that have lost 60 lbs or more the natural way or something about "saving the money". I told her that the money is not my concern and I tried to tell her that the LAP-BAND®® will be a great motivation and help me eat less, but I just feel like I didn't have the right words to explain to her why the LAP-BAND®® is different than just a regular diet. Anyone been though this and have some advice?? I plan to tell her that its my money and my decision and I appreciate her concern but I would also like to either have her support or if thats not possible, to just not make it a topic of conversation, but I know these questions will arise again with other people. I want to plan a good response so I dont look like a fool

Unfortunately, unsupportive spouses are not uncommon...you can do a search on here and likely find some good advice posted from others who have been in your shoes. it sounds like it is time for a sit-down with your hubby to see if you can unearth some of the underlying issues/concerns...this surgery can bring forth a lot of difficult topics and feelings for the patient as well as loved ones...

The Good: I DID IT! Did you see?! There it is! I FINALLY created an avatar! And GET THIS…I also MADE MY OWN TICKER!!!!! Nope, not from a ticker site…from scratch!!! Go look below…yep, I did that! With pics even!!! Can you believe it??!! I happened upon a cool ticker on a WLS site which showed 10 pound bowling balls for weight loss…I thought that was such a cool analogy (and the creator of it already lost 11 bowling balls!). So I asked and she patiently helped me with the drawing program (Marella, you’re a saint!). Don’t ask me how to do it as I spent a day and a half (more about that later) and I still don’t know…trial and error, but with my art background it was a fun challenge. Now, I didn’t want to be a complete copy-cat so I tried to think of something else that was also about 10 pounds. It came to me…remember my family joke/blog ‘Never eat anything bigger than your head!’? Well, I googled it and apparently the average weight of a human head is 10 pounds…perfect, 10 pound heads and an atypical ticker, like me. I only wished I had more pics of me to chose from…apparently our scanner is out of sync, so all I could use were pics that were already on CD’s…so there’s my face on the ticker 1 1/2 years ago at my parent’s 50th, about 20 pounds lighter; and me on the avatar, outside, glass of wine in hand about 3 1/2 years and 30-40 pounds lighter…but I look about the same on my top half as it all went to my a$$; except Mr.SA (Skinny A$$) says a little weight in the face, and the 4 years of aging, and the temporary brunette hair that will soon be back to blonde (although I’m enjoying my extra brain cells), and some bangs now…but other than that, it’s me. I’m so proud!!! Read on if you want to know why this was an EXTRA challenge! The Bad: I officially HATE computers. Yes, my computer is STILL down, so I haven’t been on much. Remember? My daughter closed the power cord in the recliner cutting the cord, right after Christmas. Well, after ordering two Chinese replacements from different stores and waiting for each to arrive, neither one worked (“Unsupported” and lots of beeping, whatever that means). Mr.SA finally ordered me a Dell one…to arrive this weekend. I’m not holding out much hope. So I’d been using the kids/home one or Mr.SA’s work laptop at night. Then OMG his computer and our home one both ‘caught something’; yep even with the firewall system we have. Apparently they had to bring in an outside computer guy at DH work to fix it (their co. guys couldn’t…yikes) and the geek even he had to take the computer back to his co. to get help. In the process they lost everything on DH computer and it’s still not fixed. Our home computer is still ‘bugged’ and about every third screen you switch to it knocks you off and a new screen comes up that is a fake Microsoft or Google screen (it has three different ones) telling you to click on it because the website you’re on is a potential threat. The computer geek tells us this ‘bug’ is nothing you can avoid. Apparently Microsoft headquarters got the same one. You never had to click on anything to start it, it just comes in with websites or emails (wish I knew how) and the bug is just trying to sell you something, it’s not spyware…small condolence, as that’s also the reason they can’t prosecute these hackers…laws haven’t caught up with this yet (they all ought to be taken out back and shot). If I hadn’t been so motivated to get this ticker done since Marella had started the process of helping me, I would have gone nuts…it took me an hour to do what I could normally do in 15 min….VERY AGRIVATING! So who knows what will happen when we take the home computer in, and I’m sure even IF the new power cord comes and IF this third try works this weekend on my laptop if I should risk catching this bug? If you don’t hear from me for awhile, you’ll know I’m still in computer he!!. And The Ugly: Tuesday I had Mr.SA take my ‘before’ pics finally. Now that we replaced the broken digital camera at Christmas, I was just waiting for a good time. He was off Tues. for the surgeon’s consult so I did it. They’re horrific (or at least the ones I've seen)!!! NO, I’m not sharing them…maybe when I have some good ‘afters’…maybe…or maybe not. Remember I’m the one who’s been running from the camera all these years and could hardly find a pic of myself for an avatar, so to see the whole me in something tight…yeah, remember I was debating the range of those before pics…from the ‘underwear girl’ (no way) to the all dolled up in the camouflage-the-fat clothes. I decided to go with something near the underwear end of the range and a step up from ‘Biggest Loser’ clothes (my legs and belly are so pasty white and dimpled, so NO). But I want to really see the changes…tight spandex sweats and a tight tank top…shows enough. I remembered to get the flabby upper arm shots and just the face pics. Mr.SA kept saying as he looked at the pics after every pose… ‘Man, that doesn’t even look like you. If someone asked me if that was my wife I would have said no.’ Now I’m not sure if he was being honest and I’ve just been such a good fat-camoflager all these years (yes, even, or especially around him) that he was truly surprised, or if he was just trying to cheer me up as there was no denying these pics could star in a horror film. Oh well, the ‘before’ ones are supposed to look bad right? I still haven’t brought myself to look at the full body shot ones yet…I need to do that…I need the same dose of reality poor Mr.SA got. Yep, I still think I looked huge at 160# 8 years ago, and I still think I look exactly the same today, 80+# heavier…there’s something wrong with my self image…those ‘before’ and hopefully ‘afters’ may be just what I need to build my body image and acceptance as I go through the changes…here’s hoping!

It breaks my heart to read so many threads about the awful things people have said to so many fellow bandsters. There are so many unsupportive and misinformed people out there who are raining on people's parades. I was so fortunate to have super supportive people around me when I announced my desire for the surgery and later when I actually had it done. I thought this could be a place where we could share all of the wonderful and positive things that are happening in our lives. I'll start . . . but I'd love to hear yours . . . - I went on vacation and lost 3 pounds instead of gaining 10. - I'm down 2 whole pant sizes. - I have more energy. - I'm happier. - I'm not a slave to Diet Coke or the drive-thru anymore. - I exercise. - I went to lunch with a group of ladies and ate the least out of everyone (never would have happened before). - I am starting to like my body. Can I just say that I L-O-V-E my band???!!!!????!!!!!! If I can do this, so can ANYONE. What are your positives right now???

You’re not alone. We all have our stories to tell, our emotional baggage we’ve worked through on this journey. Would you feel shame if you bought yourself a gym membership or signed up for a weight loss program? The surgery is a tool too. And just like a gym membership or weight loss program if you don’t use it & take advantage of it, nothing will change & you won’t be successful. Unfortunately, some may think it’s an easy out - it’s soooo not. Some may be critical. Some may be unsupportive & some may attempt to sabotage you. But more will be supportive, encouraging & so happy for you. You can always chose who you tell, who you don’t & how much you share. Don’t fear your failing when you’ve hardly begun. Don’t sabotage yourself - if you expect to fail you likely will. We don’t know what will happen if the future and sometimes life just throws us massive curve balls. Yes, some do gain weight but some work hard to lose it again. But a lot are very successful. It’s really up to you, your motivation & determination to stay the course long term. Even after you’ve reached goal, continue to monitor your weight & keep to the changes you’ve adopted to lose the weight. (Mind you I’m only 19.5 months out so I have a long way to go.) Discovering who you are in your slim body is part of the head work we all do. Even really seeing yourself in your much smaller body can be a challenge. Your interests & hobbies may change. You may try things you never thought you would. Your confidence will increase (which may be a challenge for some friends). You may make changes in your friendship circles - welcome new friends or say farewell to old ones. The discoveries can be very exciting. Good luck with your surgery. You can do this & it’s going to be amazing.

If you’re considering weight loss surgery or you’ve gotten it, you’ve gone through a lot. You’ve fought obesity for years. You may have had to bite your tongue when friends, family members, and even strangers have been unsupportive or even downright mean. You’ve worked hard at many diets, especially (if you’re a post-op patient) your pre-op and post-op diets. That’s all worth being proud of! There are plenty of other things to be proud of, too. There are the milestones, like losing your first 50 lbs., getting under 300 or 200 lbs for the first time, or getting out of the “obese” BMI category and into the “overweight” or “normal weight” category. And there are may be other sources of pride, like seeing your face in a mirror and being happy with it for once. So, what are you most proud of in your weight loss journey? For me, I think it has been my ability to maintain my weight loss without fixating on food. Instead, I am able to enjoy a fuller life.

Like @@JustWatchMe , my husband was my biggest obstacle. He was absolutely against it. I was desperate for a lifestyle change & success at weight loss & the LapBand was my last hope. My 2 daughters were supportive, but we avoided conversation about it pre-op & anytime it was brought up, he was very oppositional. He didn't even drive to surgery, my (then) 16-year-old daughter drove me. Part of his opposition was the risk, he was scared because of everything bad he had read and heard about the LapBand. The rest of his opposition was embarrassment. He truly did not see me as being obese at 250 pounds. He did not believe I needed something as drastic as the LapBand & if people knew I had a LapBand….well how embarrassing would that be??? For at least the first 6 months, he did not want anyone to know that we mutually knew & I told people he knew as time went by, only when it was absolutely necessary. I don't drink 30 minutes prior to or after eating, so this was another uncomfortable situation in restaurants when waiters/waitresses would comment about my lack of drinking. ​Thirdly, he was skeptical. He wasn't convinced it was going to work & kept saying "what if this doesn't work for you either & then you have a foreign object in you & will need another surgery to have it removed"? ​Well, I am ecstatic to report that I DID SUCCEED and he is so proud of me and my band!! If people ask him how I lost 100 pounds, he tells them! When I say at restaurants I don't want a drink, he tells them I have a LapBand & don't drink with my meals. He has watched me work HARD to lose 100 pounds & has seen it wasn't just the easy way out & I had to actually work for it, which gained his respect for the band…and ME! The first couple months he was still pretty unsupportive until he saw my hard work and he took the time to understand the band is a tool to HELP me, not magic, doing it for me or the "easy way out". I even did a commercial for my doctors with his full approval! It has been airing for 5 months now & he gets questioned at least once a week about his wife being in a commercial for bariatric surgery…and he confidently tells them I have a LapBand and have lost 100 pounds! When we look back on before photos his mouth drops open and he just stares, barely able to mutter out "I can't believe you were that big. I never saw you that way." I am truly blessed to have a husband that loved me even when I was obese, but at the same time, it was a curse…he loved me, so as I gained and gained and gained, it comfortable to keep gaining, because he still told me I was beautiful and he still loved me, even at 250 pounds! Now, he is happy I got the band & he is thrilled with my new body and he's happy I'm healthy! For the first time since we were teenagers, this weekend I felt as if he wanted to "show me off" at his company picnic. He wanted me to wear a slinky sundress I wouldn't have been able to wear since I was a teenager!! YAY for LapBand and for my desperation for change….so desperate I went against my husband's wishes and did what was best for ME and conquered my biggest obstacle.

Very few people know about my surgery. This was a hard enough thing to do without the possibility of unsupportive people and negative comments

5'6" and 254 starting. 4½ months out, now 196. I'd be happy if I only lost 84lbs or so. I have 100lbs as my goal but I'd be happy even if it was less than that. I did tell friends and family, pretty open about it as people are curious. It's amazing the range of responses. Some people (who have been battling weight themselves for almost their whole adult life) were very UNsupportive. Can't believe I'd do something so "unnatural". And when I told them I was going to Mexico? Wow, they flipped their lids! I did not tell the coworkers because of the societal stigma of losing weight "the easy way" even though all of us on here know the truth about that and having 75% of your stomach removed isn't "easy". Like Nadoue, I told them high protein, low carb, cut out Diet Pepsi, some exercise and none of it is a lie. Would I do it again? Yup. Been a while since I've lost 57.5 lbs any other way - and the difference? This time I'm keeping it off!!! Good luck with your surgery!

Hello everyone. I'm nearly done with all of my insurance criteria. I have one more nut appt on Oct 15th. When I met with the bariatric surgeon for my consult, he had told me how much he thinks the sleeve will help me. My primary care dr is very supportive. But, WL surgeon wants to get a "go ahead" from my Rheumatologist. Right from the get go, she has been unsupportive. She told me that I'm not big enough to get wls. So, a friend of mine who just had the sleeve done last week suggested that I research benefits of wls (specifically the sleeve) and lupus. I haven't found anything. I'm wondering if someone who has gone through wls that also has lupus could share something.... Pretty Please?

It's important to remember that just because someone is in a medical profession it doesn't mean that they have been educated about bariatic surgery. Some still see it as a last-resort or as 'copping out'. My PCP is totally stoked about my choice to pursue gastric bypass but two family members in medical professions (nurse and general practitioner irrespective) have been distinctly unsupportive. Ultimately I choose to side with those who have all the information available. Good luck! Sent from my SM-G920W8 using BariatricPal mobile app

Darling, you are not defined by your weight, how quickly you lose, or even if you lose. But I can promise you this, the people around you will be scared of the change in you. They will be scared for you too and it will come out in awful ways that they don't really mean. Or it will be an issue that they're dealing with and the way they deal with it is in ways that make you feel bad. My advice to you is to own this. Whether you lose or not, whether you lose fast or slow or not at all, make this all about YOU. I say this out of experience. My family were and still are incredibly unsupportive of the lapband. Despite the fact that it probably saved my life. They didn't like me no longer fitting into the role of the 'fat daughter/sister' and I've lived with jibes and little passive aggressive comments for years. But I understand that I forced a change on them that they found difficult to cope with. They saw me transform right in front of their eyes, changing a lifetime of behaviours, concentrating on myself more (where I used to be the one everyone depended on to 'be there' and drop everything for everyone else) and it changed the dymanics of the family. So yes he is an ass to have done that to you, but I reckon you need to see it for what it is - he's scared and this is the way he's showing it. I feel sorry for my family more than anything. My life changed for the better, and their's didn't seem to.

My husband wasn't supportive with my band surgery. Now that I have to convert to RNY, he is really unsupportive. I was thinking sleeve, but I may as well go all the way this time as I should have before. He didn't attend any of my Dr. appts. or meetings. But as someone said, I will try my hardest to get him to come with me to the Dr. and have them explain my situation. Due to my health issues, this surgery is a necessity. Your Dr. can explain it to him better.

Truly i was not in all that much pain. A few hours after surgery yes because the gas leaving my body. It was uncomfortable not unbarable. 6 hours post op i was walkin around the hospital.. Slowly but walking on my own. Day 2 i went to a reunion at the park and day 3 i walked to the dentist. Its more discomfort then pain. I wish you the best and i hope he changes his mind and perhaps once youve had the surgery and he begins to see your success he will. But i truly feel awful for your sitiation i couldnt imagine the person i need the most being unsupportive. Id take him to a doc appt. Maybe the doc could help explain that diet and exercise isnt always enough for everyone and that just because you diet and lose doesnt mean its easy to keep off. No matter what i did i couldnt lose it and keep it off. I just hope your decison about the band doesnt change just because of what he thinks because it is about you,your health, and your future in the end not him.