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Hi smithpy--so sorry you are struggling. Those major life stressors can (and do) derail us big time. BUT, you are NOT IN DENIAL of the reasons for your weight gain, and that is something to pat yourself on the back for!!! You are taking ACTION!!!You have gotten great words of wisdom here so far from the above posters (as we all always do!). Please remember too, though, that you first have to get your responses to all the STRESS in your life under control before you can recommit to your WLS healthy eating habits and lifestyle. (You know-- Are you paying attention to how important it is to be GOOD TO YOURSELF EVERY DAY? Moms tend to put ourselves last, and that usually means zero time for US. Do you meditate? Do you do deep breathing? Do you take a fun short-term class/workshop? Do you meet a friend? Do find a self-help book of interest? Do you enjoy nature? Do you sing a motivational song, even if you can't sing? Do you journal? Do you buy some dumb little special thing for yourself once a week? Can you have just 4 hours a week that can be JUST YOU time that someone cares for the kids? etc etc? ). Only you know the answer to this, and of course it is not expected that you respond in any way to this here. Please do not take offense--you mentioned alcohol, and I'm sure you are aware of the potential of transfer addictions with WLS patients. Just wanted to offer a caution. You don't say how old your kid(s) are, but get them on the bandwagon with you, and create some FUN stuff to do together--both in healthy meal prep AND with fun exercise activity. Don't go this alone. This is a TEMPORARY setback, and you will clean up your habits and move on to your healthy lifestyle again! You go girl. . .

I really need help. I'm almost two years out. I'm not eating or exercising like I should and alcohol has also added weight. I "know" what I need to do but I need help doing it. Started exercising again on Monday. PS... Lots of change in my life and just now getting on track -- divorce, going from being a stay at home mom to a FT employee, etc.

No no alcohol, I won't be drinking at the party either. The wedding is in Mexico at the end of August and I'll see if my nut n dr clear be for a small amount then. Right now I'm really trying to play my the rules with everything. How much water do u get? I'm averaging between 45-50 oz daily.

Have you had any alcohol yet?

I had surgery 2/17/14. I was 288, 258 day of surgery. I had been in a stall for a month between 206-209. So I did a 3 day liquid diet and then ate food for 3 days and got down to 202. Then I went on vacation for the weekend. I snacked a little more than normal, but it had no alcohol and didn't eat extravagantly. I got home and got on the scale and I gained 8 EIGHT pounds!!! This is so discouraging, I was only gone for 4 days, and 2 of those days i spent driving to and from NC to PA. I don't understand this. I thought I was bloated and I hadn't pooped in 2 days so I took some miralax when I got home... I went, but I didn't really lose anything. Have any of you experienced this? I'm so discouraged! I was gonna go on another liquid diet to try and flush out anything. I'm 5 months out. I really thought I would come home from vacation in onderland. any advice would be appreciated!

Ok sorry, I feel like I'm always posting on here! I had been in a stall for a month between 206-209. So I did a 3 day liquid diet and then ate food for 3 days and got down to 202. Then I went on vacation for the weekend. I snacked a little more than normal, but it had no alcohol and didn't eat extravagantly. I got home and got on the scale and I gained 8 EIGHT pounds!!! This is so discouraging, I was only gone for 4 days, and 2 of those days i spent driving to and from NC to PA. I don't understand this. I thought I was bloated and I hadn't pooped in 2 days so I took some miralax when I got home... I went, but I didn't really lose anything. Have any of you experienced this? I'm so discouraged! I was gonna go on another liquid diet to try and flush out anything. I'm 5 months out. I really thought I would come home from vacation in onderland.

Hello! I particularly like any alcohol with a few squeezes of Mio liquid Water enhancer! They have tons of flavors & they are all delicious! Easy to carry with you as well! If I'm out at a restaurant or bar I ask for the alcohol chilled and splash in the Mio that will be in my purse I'm 26 & also very social so anything to still have a good time and keep my calories low is great ! ( be careful tho, I'm also a two drink max with these they can be strong !) Bren

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been devastating for you. I cant relate to losing a child but im no stranger to loss. Im 28 y/o and already had to deal with more loss and disasters then most people see in their entire life. My father died in a car accident before i was born, my grandmother of a stroke (drank herself to it) when i was 12, my uncle at 13 (heart attack), my other uncle at 14 (hypothermia), at 16 my step father lost all but 3 of his fingers in a work accident and i had to help my mom take care of him, I started taking care of my mom at age 22 when she was in a car accident that left her unable to work and her husband divorced her because he didn't want to take care of her (yep, after she quit her job to take care of him from his accident), At 23 my mom had a heart attack requiring surgery(lived). At 24 my husbands grandfather passed away from brain cancer, and that same week i found out my mom had breast cancer. She had double mastectomy with one side getting infected and opening up (about the size of my fist) and a 6 month recovery. This caused her to be unable to have chemo or radiation. After she healed she started the journey of reconstruction but unfortunately after the expanders were put in she developed MRSA in one side and then a week later the other side (both had to be taken out and she was hospitalized). Then she developed it again in her hand and shoulder (hospitalized again). She went home with IV antibiotics (that i cared for). She progressively got more sick and on my 25th birthday she was hospitalized with a rare condition called steven johnsons syndrome (severe allergic reaction that causes the body to burn from the inside out).She was hospitalized again (sad thing is i cant remember why now) and missed the baby shower for my first(only) child. I had a complicated childbirth (emergency c-section) with a complicated recovery (pre-eclamsia AFTER). When my son was 5mo my mom had another heart attack requiring surgery (a rare reaction from the sjs that caused the original stent to be overgrown with tissue). My Uncle passed away soon after. My mom remained pretty healthy after that but i progressively got sicker. My aunt passed away (drugs and alcohol caused her liver to fail). I lost my job (the department was dissolved) a month after i bought my first home (thankfully got a new job right away). A year long journey led my doctors to discovering I have a severe immune deficiency. I ended up getting sick for about 2 months that was finally diagnosed by my immunologist as pertussis. A week later (Jan) my mom was hospitalized with pneumonia (she came home with oxygen). Unfortunately after that (and many tests) it was discovered her breast cancer had come back and metastasized to her lymph nodes and pleura (lining of lungs). Its stage 4 and terminal. Theres no cure but she started chemo with the thought to prolong her life . She was hospitalized again with pneumonia that required multiple chest tube placements. She resumed her chemo which she did pretty well on with symptom reactions but bad on with others (her potassium and anemia levls kept dropping causing her to be extremely lethargic). last month her WBC droped really low and she got sick. When i checked her O2 and saw it was really low i insisted on bringing her to the ER (she's stubborn and hates going). They said it was good because 6-12 more hours and she would have been septic. They admitted her again but her o2 wouldn't stabilize. I get a call at work the next day and im told there transferring her to ICU and intubating her. She was intubated (and essentially in a coma) for 2 weeks She had strep pneumonia, strep in her urine, influenza, and fungal empyema . On 4th of july they released her to come home and she has been weak ever since. I have been her caring for her but she isn't getting better. She still cant stand from the toilet, cant care for herself, she barely eats, and she keeps getting a cough. She has lost 70lbs since Jan. Yesterday we had the follow up oncologist appointment and he told us because of her condition it wouldn't be wise to re-start chemo. He said that if they did she had an extremely high chance of catching another illness and dieing. Without chemo she has less than 6 months to live (he said with her condition now its more like a few months). so were in a crossroads of what to do. Risk chemo (which she was pretty much like a zombie on most days) and hope she doesn't catch anything (extremely hard with me having an immune deficiency and always getting sick) OR let the cancer kill her. Im struggling with the thought that i will be 28 y/o without any parents. My mom is my best friend and the thought of losing her kills me. I keep thinking about how close she is to my 2 y/o son and how he's going to grow up and not remember her or how significant she was in his life. And she will never know any other children i have. She has taught my son SO much, i just cant imagine her not being there to teach my future children. OMG im so sorry for spilling my life story. I know this is probably more then anyone wanted to know, but as its 4am and im unable to sleep its really helpful to get it all out of my head. Sorry for the TMI but thank you for the place to get it out. Snowkitten, you have a lot on your plate right now. Sometimes it helps, just being able to tell someone, even strangers. There are a lot of wonderful, caring people here and you will make friends and be able to share the anguish you are going through. I am truly sad about your dear Mother. I am proud of your decision to have WLS so that you can live a good life for your 2 year old son. He needs you around for a long time. (((Big HUG)))

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been devastating for you. I cant relate to losing a child but im no stranger to loss. Im 28 y/o and already had to deal with more loss and disasters then most people see in their entire life. My father died in a car accident before i was born, my grandmother of a stroke (drank herself to it) when i was 12, my uncle at 13 (heart attack), my other uncle at 14 (hypothermia), at 16 my step father lost all but 3 of his fingers in a work accident and i had to help my mom take care of him, I started taking care of my mom at age 22 when she was in a car accident that left her unable to work and her husband divorced her because he didn't want to take care of her (yep, after she quit her job to take care of him from his accident), At 23 my mom had a heart attack requiring surgery(lived). At 24 my husbands grandfather passed away from brain cancer, and that same week i found out my mom had breast cancer. She had double mastectomy with one side getting infected and opening up (about the size of my fist) and a 6 month recovery. This caused her to be unable to have chemo or radiation. After she healed she started the journey of reconstruction but unfortunately after the expanders were put in she developed MRSA in one side and then a week later the other side (both had to be taken out and she was hospitalized). Then she developed it again in her hand and shoulder (hospitalized again). She went home with IV antibiotics (that i cared for). She progressively got more sick and on my 25th birthday she was hospitalized with a rare condition called steven johnsons syndrome (severe allergic reaction that causes the body to burn from the inside out).She was hospitalized again (sad thing is i cant remember why now) and missed the baby shower for my first(only) child. I had a complicated childbirth (emergency c-section) with a complicated recovery (pre-eclamsia AFTER). When my son was 5mo my mom had another heart attack requiring surgery (a rare reaction from the sjs that caused the original stent to be overgrown with tissue). My Uncle passed away soon after. My mom remained pretty healthy after that but i progressively got sicker. My aunt passed away (drugs and alcohol caused her liver to fail). I lost my job (the department was dissolved) a month after i bought my first home (thankfully got a new job right away). A year long journey led my doctors to discovering I have a severe immune deficiency. I ended up getting sick for about 2 months that was finally diagnosed by my immunologist as pertussis. A week later (Jan) my mom was hospitalized with pneumonia (she came home with oxygen). Unfortunately after that (and many tests) it was discovered her breast cancer had come back and metastasized to her lymph nodes and pleura (lining of lungs). Its stage 4 and terminal. Theres no cure but she started chemo with the thought to prolong her life . She was hospitalized again with pneumonia that required multiple chest tube placements. She resumed her chemo which she did pretty well on with symptom reactions but bad on with others (her potassium and anemia levls kept dropping causing her to be extremely lethargic). last month her WBC droped really low and she got sick. When i checked her O2 and saw it was really low i insisted on bringing her to the ER (she's stubborn and hates going). They said it was good because 6-12 more hours and she would have been septic. They admitted her again but her o2 wouldn't stabilize. I get a call at work the next day and im told there transferring her to ICU and intubating her. She was intubated (and essentially in a coma) for 2 weeks She had strep pneumonia, strep in her urine, influenza, and fungal empyema . On 4th of july they released her to come home and she has been weak ever since. I have been her caring for her but she isn't getting better. She still cant stand from the toilet, cant care for herself, she barely eats, and she keeps getting a cough. She has lost 70lbs since Jan. Yesterday we had the follow up oncologist appointment and he told us because of her condition it wouldn't be wise to re-start chemo. He said that if they did she had an extremely high chance of catching another illness and dieing. Without chemo she has less than 6 months to live (he said with her condition now its more like a few months). so were in a crossroads of what to do. Risk chemo (which she was pretty much like a zombie on most days) and hope she doesn't catch anything (extremely hard with me having an immune deficiency and always getting sick) OR let the cancer kill her. Im struggling with the thought that i will be 28 y/o without any parents. My mom is my best friend and the thought of losing her kills me. I keep thinking about how close she is to my 2 y/o son and how he's going to grow up and not remember her or how significant she was in his life. And she will never know any other children i have. She has taught my son SO much, i just cant imagine her not being there to teach my future children. OMG im so sorry for spilling my life story. I know this is probably more then anyone wanted to know, but as its 4am and im unable to sleep its really helpful to get it all out of my head. Sorry for the TMI but thank you for the place to get it out.

I lost my younger brother July 3, 2012. We were very close and only 13 months apart. He literally collapsed in the hallway walking to the bathroom in front of his girlfriend. Despite autopsy and toxicology testing, no COD was found. Healthy organs, no aneurysms or clots, blood alcohol .03, no street drugs and normal, therapeutic levels of his Rx drugs for ADHD. I was beyond devastated and functioned on a " bare minimum" mode for over a year. Other than making it to work, I didn't leave the the house. I tried to numb myself by eating and drinking. I went to bed in an alcohol haze every night. And the clincher is I didn't WANT to feel better. I'm sure you all are no stranger to these feelings. Not sure what happened, but after about 18 months something just switched in my head and I decided I didn't want to be in pain anymore. This surgery, among other things was my way of taking back control of myself. I still miss him every single day and it's hard to comprehend that we will never again talk and laugh and be able to share our lives and childhood memories. But he was always kind of a "troubled soul" so I can only hope he's found peace now. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you with lost loved ones, especially for those of you that are having to watch it happen.

I lost my ex boyfriend a year and a half ago to his alcohol addiction. I am currently watching my mom battle incurable breast cancer that has spread to her bones and brain. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to witness and deal with in my life.

I have BCBS-Federal. I was missing a note from my doctor stating that I had not been treated for alcohol or substance abuse in the past year. Once submitted, it only took one day for my approval to go through. HOWEVER, I would have not known until 5 days after the fact. I was approved on a Wed, it just so happened that Friday I had to call BCBS regarding something else, so while on the phone I asked about the status of my request, and thats when I found out I had been approved 2 days prior. I emailed the bariatric coordinator at my surgeons office to inform her. She emailed me that following Tuesday, to inform me that she received the approval from BCBS. So that being said, I would take the previous advice and keep calling to follow up.

I have BCBS-Federal and the same thing happened to me. I did not know that I needed to submit proof that I had not been treated in the past year for alcohol or substance abuse. However, after I submitted the note from my primary physician, I was approved the following day. The catch was however, I didnt find out til three days after that, and that is only because I was calling the insurance company regarding something else, and asked if they could check on it for me while I was on the phone. I was the one that let the bariatric coordinator at my surgeons office know that I was approved lol. She did not receive notice from the insurance company until one or two days after that smh.

I started out in a swim fitness class at the Y. We have some people in the class 300-400 lbs .. Who cares ? We're proud of them for showing up and trying ! One lady has lost 100 lbs or so, she is on the Paleo diet. Google it, it looks really good !!! One thing that helped me alot was a year or so before WLS we started cutting back slowly on fast food and anything white or high carb. ( Husband was diagosed diabetic) We switched to whole grain, whole wheat, more chicken , fish and lean meats, plus more veggies and salads. ( I dont like soda, alcohol or fried foods) I was still eating too large amounts but lap band took that away, and at least I did'nt feel like I was giving up anything by the time I was banded. Good luck to you !

everyone is different. i couldnt eat anything like that for at least 3 months. and i wasnt supposed to have alcohol for at least 6 months. (i dont drink) but everyone tolerates food differently. you wont know until you are there.

I haven't had a drink in 20 years and I'm no buzzkill! I just don't drink. My husband does and so do most of my friends. They're happy to have a built-in designated driver! Just tell people alcohol is not allowed on your new eating plan and let it go. I'm confused as to why you would need to wait five minutes between bites of food. I've never heard of that. I just eat my puréed food in front of my friends. I don't care who knows about my surgery, it makes life very easy.

I'm 7 months out and tracked fluids and Protein for the first two months only. Since then I just keep a tally of what I drink in my head to make sure I'm getting 64oz or more. And since I get at least 30-40g protein from my daily smoothie and I always eat protein first, I don't bother tracking that anymore. I've never tracked calories or carbs or fat or measured my portions. I just use common sense, read labels and make good choices. If I wanted to track everything, I could do weight watchers or any number of other fad diets. I had surgery to make things easier. I drink Water, take my Vitamins and follow the basic meal plan...a balanced diet of protein first, veggies, fruit and whole grains. I limit Pasta, rice, bread, junk food, alcohol and sweets. I eat "bad" foods sometimes but in moderation and I never feel guilty about it. I eat when I 'm hungry and only until I'm satisfied, not full. That's usually only a difference of a couple bites, but I think it's important to not always shoot for being full. It's the full feeling that got me fat in the first place. My 6 month bloodwork results were great, I feel fabulous, I'm 12 pounds under surgeon's goal and 2 pounds under my personal goal, so this method works for me.

I have learned a very hard lesson this weekend.... I am almost 1.5 years out and have never touched a carbonated drinks. I am on vacation and have not had alcohol since surgery so I decided to have a beer. Stomach hurt all day and I was bloated but I thought it was the heat. Day 2 had two Mike hard lemonade and my stomach bloated to double in size and rock hard. I googled if beer and Mike's hard lemonade were carbonated and well it turned out that yes they are. I can't believe how uncomfortable I am. No more drinks for me!!!! I will stick with my crystal light

Sorry for your struggle. Food is an addition to me too and I don't know how to get over it either. I told my husband (a drinker) I was like the kind of alcoholic who drinks the vanilla and the medicine just for the alcohol. He thought if he had food that I didn't like, that I wouldn't eat it. But I can't help myself.

I'll call malarkey on this. Living proof right here. Thank God LipstickLady! I read that post and said Noooooooooo! I hate to give up my wine! It is my source of fun. HELL TO THE WHAT?!!! Only kidding. I'm an alcoholic (kidding-ish). For as low a BMI as I was to start, with PCOS, I've still shifted more than was expected of me... ................. Despite the grotesque alcohol consumption Just be happy! I am!

Going good since the doctor's visit. I've decided to go the liquid protein route for at least a week before incorporating some soft foods. So I have vats of this protein powder that I had been using at the beginning of last year that was really good. Low carb, low fat, high protein and when I was using it for that diet I lost quite a bit. (BioTrust is the brand name). So I have one in the morning for breakfast, drink my liquids throughout the day and then have one for dinner. It hasn't been too bad. I just have to mentally fight my natural propensity to sample things throughout the day. I've also been doing great canceling the rationalization to eat certain things... or tell myself that I could somehow chew something fine enough to swallow it and not have it make a difference. I got my Fitbit on Friday and have been wearing it diligently ever since. I like it a lot especially because i can wear it in the shower / rain whatever. Makes it more convenient to just always have it on and i do love the constant counting versus my phone which only counts if I'm holding it. Seeing the numbers at the end of the day really make me feel like I'm accomplishing a lot more than I think I am. Saturday was another pre-planned thing I knew I was going to have to attend. My husband's fraternity chapter cookout. *sigh* It's at the beach so I committed myself to spending more time at the surf than by the mushrooms where everyone was gathered and eating. Which worked for a little while. But the day was overcast and the water wasn't really warm so I couldn't stay there very long. Back to the mushrooms I went and sipped my water as the smells from the grill wafted over and plate after plate was made and paraded in front of me. I'm proud that I didn't try to sample anything. I did try to talk myself into mashing some mac and cheese really good so it would be LIKE a porridge. But I got past that. The funny thing was, I was hanging with a few of my long time friends during that time and one of them was GOING. IN. on the food. I mean... she never wasn't eating. She never wasn't drinking something alcoholic. She was just non stop. To the point where I was nervous for her... she'd never been like THAT.... or had she been? And I was just... right there with her - maybe worse - eating and drinking up a storm? Is that what I looked like? I thought to myself. It definitely made me stick to my plan even more. So my TOM is here. Which SUCKS. Aside from bad cramps on night one, it wasn't worse than pre-band. I waited for the whole "your organs swell" thingy to affect me, but this time around it didn't. I'm looking forward to the scale registering that I lost more weight once it's gone (bye bye water...). My glue is starting to fall off and expose the wounds / stitches. So I'm taking special pains to make sure I take care of them so they don't scar too bad. I keloided pretty bad on my lateral c-section scar, i just want to limit how much scarring they would show. On to week 2!

Explaining not drinking is easy. Did you know that one drink stops your weight loss for 3 days? In other words, you will stop ridding your body of fat for per week. A study done by the weight loss group suggests this. The reason in that alcohol stops the production of an enzime required to break down the fat cells. So, you can tell your friends about the parrelles of drinking and weight loss and that you are taking weight loss very seriously and will you do not want to slow your prograss donw by half for having a drink. You can flollow with, you will re-address sodial drinking after you have reached your goal weight.

ok, I haven't had my surgery yet (hopefully in about 3 months) but I have to throw in my two cents. First, I applaud your planning and thinking ahead about how this will change your life. I've heard of some that don't think this far in advance and it ends up having many negative impacts on their life. I will be telling only close friends and family (nobody at work). Many people in my family are overweight and if they see the results, maybe they'll consider lifestyle changes for themselves. If I could inspire my family to be healthier, this surgery will be successful not just for me, but for them as well. That being said, my active circle is not healthy and fit as you described yours so I understand your situation is different. My family functions tend to revolve around food because that's how we were raised. If somebody is visiting, we eat. If somebody gets married, we eat. Dies, travels, celebrates, etc., we eat. So not only do I want them to be healthier, I'll have a lot more explaining to do so I won't be able to hide it if I wanted to. Here are some suggestions that you may find useful though: 1) You said your social circle is fit and healthy and right now you're the odd ball for that. Perhaps you are over thinking how much importance they place on food during your gatherings. Isn't that the point of the surgery and lifestyle change? To take the importance away from food in your life? If they are fit and healthy, then I doubt they place as much significance on the meal. They are probably thinking more about the company and the activity with friends. Maybe that's what you should focus on. When you get together with friends, instead of planning a meal, why not suggest something new. A hike (maybe take along a picnic with healthy tidbits)? 2) Some people mentioned medication as an excuse. Since you are overweight (as we all are), you could tell your friends your doctor is concerned about diabetes and has put you on metformin as a preventative measure (completely legit, my doctor did it to me and I'm not diabetic). Not only can you not drink alcohol with metformin, but it also helps burn belly fat so that could explain weight loss (not a drastic amount, but some). This way you have a medication as an excuse without telling them you have some new disease or sickness you'll have to explain later. 3) As a last resort consider this.... Yes it's scary for all of us to consider the way our lives will change. What do we do with ourselves when we're not eating? But the point of this surgery is to be healthier. Are you willing to risk your health because of what your friends might think if you don't drink a glass of wine? Tell them your just trying to be healthier and that includes a bit of detox. Once they start seeing the results of your decision, they won't question or criticize (once you brush them off a time or two). They'll be happy and encouraging even if they don't know what they're encouraging. At least, if they're real friends they will. If they don't, then they're definitely not worth stressing over.

You sound like me. Months ago I started cutting down on the amount of food I eat, coffee, NSAIDs, carbonated drinks, alcohol, sugar, etc. And I started chewing much more slowly, not drinking liquids with my meals, walking more, drinking 8 glasses of Water daily, journaling my food and exercise, using My Fitness Pal and a Fitbit, and seeing a shrink. My surgery will be scheduled in August. My only challenge now is to keep my BMI above the level where my surgeon will still perform VSG surgery. So why not just lose the weight by myself? Because I feel strongly that I need the additional tool of a sleeved stomach. I have a lifelong history of enthusiastic weight loss followed by steady weight regain. I'm now in my late sixties and looking for way to enjoy an active retirement -- and I don't think yo-yo dieting is going to be the way to achieve it. Best wishes to us all.

I'm about 8 days from surgery and one approach I recommend as a DO: DO take small steps to changing your lifestyle weeks or months before surgery. I began my journey in Jan 2014 and every few weeks I changed something in my lifestyle to improve my health: Began walking Stopped drinking diet sodas Minimized eating carbs Changed from high fat to lower fat Proteins Quit smoking Began going to the gym Cut my net calories to 1700 per day Later cut my net calories to 1300 per day Stopped caffeine Quit alcohol I introduced these changes slowly over a 6 month period. It's important (and my bariatric psychologist agreed) to not attempt all these changes at once. It's too much change too fast. But introduce them slowly. I gave myself treats along the way. For example, I calculated how much I saved from quitting smoking and bought some home decor and other goodies. Now that I've started the pre-op shakes 'n liquids diet, it's not nearly as difficult as it would have been had I not made these changes. I'm not saying it's easy-peasy, but it's not the end of the world. I'm going into surgery almost 65 lbs lighter than when I started my journey in January and can't wait to be sleeved so I can lose another 75+.