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"Way out." Who cares what KIND of way out it is, it's a way out! I'm 23, and I can honestly say I probably have done 'every diet known to man' like so many of the other people on the boards, but if I know in my heart that the diets I DID try didn't work, and most diets are pretty close to the same anyway, why would any of the other ones work for me when they failed so many others? This surgery was an option for me to do SOMETHING when I was doing NOTHING. I'm going to be blunt and say that if your husband says he's going to leave you for this, and he's not bluffing, he was going to leave you for something anyway. I'm not trying to say that your marriage is over by anymeans, the only details of it know are what you've written here, but I'm sure you get the jest of what I'm saying. Someone can be not-supportive, kind of neutral, without being unsupportive... if that makes any kind of sense. I'm glad you made your appointment. Maybe when he really sees that you are REALLY serious, he'll listen to you a little more?

Good for you! It blows my mind when I read all of these posts about husbands/wives/boyfriends/partners/etc. being anywhere from unsupportive to outright mean and hateful. I cannot imagine not supporting my partner in an endeavor to improve his health. I get that some people have a lot of insecurities, but what does it about that person (or the state of the relationship) when a good thing gets this kind of reaction??

Sounds kinda selfish, but also sounds like its more to her unsupportive attitude....mabe shes scared?

Cali...I agree regarding the chiro, but the comment about not wanting to tell anyone makes you worry that people are afraid they will fail...well that's just not fair. I don't tell, not because I'm ashamed, but I just don't want to hear anyone else's opinion on it and risk peope who would either be verbally unsupportive or try to sabotage me.

Guess ill get flamed for this, but don't really care. B52 this is supposed to be a support forum and right now you're being pretty unsupportive and sounding very critical and judgmental to those who aren't where you are. have recently hit green and thanks to my plication have never had to experience bandster hell per say. But lots of folks are not in the green and lots of them are still in bandster hell and are looking for encouragement, not to be told they are naive or scowled upon. I'm not getting the reason for your posts. I don't believe you are looking down you nose on folks, but it could be perceived by some that way.

I handled the haters by not telling anyone about my surgery. It was a personal decision for my own health and I didn't want to hear their negative unsupportive comments and be under their constant observation about what I'm eating and how much weight I've lost.

I have been watching this thread and researching for probably a month now and decided to speak to my dr about the gastric sleeve! I do have a BMI of over 40 and no other Problems so I thought I should be a good candidate for the surgery... Well today was the day I thought I would get some answers regarding insurance and requirements and atleast get the ball rolling .... I was totally wrong !!! My Dr. Was the least supportive she didn't have much to say other than usually insurances want to see 10 percent of your weight lost and maintained for a year before they will even consider you ... This was just so discouraging because when I asked her about my insurance and what they require I was just told to call them and find out... I feel like I am starting the process alone!! Has anyone had this happen? I just want to get a start to it , I know surgery won't happen over night I just felt like she was so unsupportive !!

ur normal girl, i was even considering canceling the surgery because of the negative unsupported family members i was around, but i breath n went forward with it, it was hard because i was thinking about food n how it really does affect my mood n whole, its an addiction! n its always the bad food that we think about because it taste so good.. so ur ok to think that way before surgery time will fly n food is always is going to be there just in other forms, n this time its our choice whether we eat the right way, and do the right things so chill out n think about the positive out comes of ur surgery n why r u doing it.. Blessings

WASA: Yes Rumbaut and Aceves may be good, but not necessarily the BEST. Here is a little something Rumbaut published not long ago (please read below). If your "global statistics" are hovering around 1% for erosion (quoting you: “Sadly, erosion does happen in about 1.3% of patients.” ) thenwhere does that put Rumbaut? (he did the study, 2.9% erosion).... how about slippage? Also 2.9%, how does that compare? Erosion is almost three times as much(2.9 to 1) as your "global statistics"? Not so good? And Quoting you: “There are docs with a 0.00016%** erosion stat vs. others who are seriously dangerous with a 3-4% erosion stat”. … But yet in another post you say: and I quote: “Personal opinion but I think Rumbaut and Aceves are the two best surgeons in Mexico.” Which is it bubblebutt? You have to make up your mind! Rumbaut’s statistics on erosion are one tenth of a percent from “Seriously Dangerous” and yet in your personal opinion he is among the best????? The problem is not Rumbaut's statistics Wasa, the problem is YOUR "global statistics". Rumbaut’s statistics are average (port infection is high though). You have been using a broken measuring stick. The information you have been giving readers on this subject is way off, and you refuse to admit it. Please do some real research WASA, unsupported statements cause more harm than good. If you want to post as a reliable source of information for fellow members, don't go by what you hear, hearsay is cheap and easy to come by, not so with true data on paper. The comparison between Rumbaut's published statistics and your claims only casts a shadow over any other "statistics" you may have posted elsewhere on this forum. Not very reliable..... You need to offer real statistics, all with tangible, published backup, not "someone told me". **By the way, FYI: .ooo16% erosion translates to one erosion for every 625,000 procedures, even you can’t seriously consider that!!! Obesity Surgery, 13, 275-280 The Lap-Band® System in a North American Population S. Ross Fox, MD; Katherine M. Fox, RN, MPH; Myur S. Srikanth, MD; Roberto Rumbaut, MD* The Medical Services Organization, Surgical Weight Loss Clinic, Tacoma, Washington, USA and *Hospital San Jose - ITESN, Monterrey, Mexico European and Australian results with laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding (LAGB) using the Lap-Band® (Inamed Health, Santa Barbara, CA) have been impressive, with over 100,000 procedures completed at this writing. However, prior to U.S. FDA approval in June 2001, U.S. patients had to travel out of the U.S. for this procedure. This study reports on a series of U.S. patients who requested off-shore referral for LAGB placement. Table 5. Complications Complications n (%) Dilatation/band slippage 2.9 Erosion 2.9 Port tubing leakage (disconnection) 2.9 Port infection 3.8 Band removed without revision 2.9 Revision to gastric bypass 1.9

I have recently cut my sister adrift, more because I hated the way she treated our Dad in his final years, he died recently, although she has been pretty crappy and unsupportive of me throughout too. She never heped out dealing with our aging and ill Dad, and in fact then tried to blame me after he died!! I love some of my friends far more than I do my sister and I know I am better off without her in my life. I want to spend what time I have left on this planet caring for and being cared for and enjoying the company of the people who I really like and love. Now I am older I think I can treat myself a bit! Jane x

I know exactly how you feel!! I told my parents and sister. My sister did not say anything, so I know she didn't like it. My dad told me it didn't work for so and so and therefore it won't work for me. My mom at first was unsupportive and said that I haven't ever REALLY TRIED to lose the weight so how could this work. That was a few months ago when I was still thinking of it and researching it. I just told my mom I made my consult appt. and she was very supportive?! I haven't told my dad or sister or anyone else. I have my mind dead set on doing this and I'm at the point that if they want to be negative, I just simply don't want to hear it. They don't have to like it but they need to support me if they love me. I just remember that this is the first thing that I am doing for ME! I want this for ME, not for them and they need to respect this decision.

I don't know if this will make you feel better but awareness (consciousness) during general anesthesia is so rare these days in modern OR's it's practically impossible. The anesthetic cocktail they give you has drugs that put you to sleep and drugs that keep you asleep and wipe out short term memory. The anesthesiologist monitors your vitals and brain activity throughout the operation and adjust the IV's accordingly. The odds are astronomical that you'd wake up while in surgery, but even if you did, you wouldn't form a memory of it anyway. Given all of this, I have my doubts about people who claim they remember being conscious during surgery. Especially those who seek fame on TV shows. As for friends and family shutting down as your date approaches, maybe it's worry - maybe it's compassion fatigue, hard to say. But once they see how well you will do they will sing it's praises. One of my close work friends who lost weight on her own and mostly kept it off was very unsupportive of my decision pre-op, but now I am down 52 lbs in less than 3 months and every time she sees me she's in awe. At the end of the day, you are doing this for yourself and undoubtedly once you start to really recover you will feel it's the best choice you could have made. You'll be confident and others will take notice.

Unfortunately there are many unsupportive people out there- some because they are afraid, some because they don't like change, some because they are jealous. I created a small inner circle of support along with online support.and a support group. YOU have to be very confident in your decision. You can be strong for yourself- keep a journal so you can see how much you have changed and learned. But, there will be challenges. I am only 3 wks out- (I did a pre-op diet for over 5 mos) and I feel much better and I am much happier. I do not feel constantly hungry and I do not feel the compulsion to eat. Remember, the surgery does not solve any other problems other than your weight. However, if your weight is down, and you feel better, it is easier to deal with the other problems.(and people). Good Luck!

I just booked a space at a weight loss seminar for april 18 (im very excited). I mentioned this to my bff and she basically attacked me. She started saying how i dont need it and im only doing it to improve my looks ( which is way off base) and that i havent been dieting seriously. and i have. true i do not have any other comorbidities but i have many reasons why i want to do this which im sure you all could understand. she starts saying how im gonna have so much recovery time and im gonna have to do this this and this. How do you deal when someone is totally unsupportive of your decision? She thinks she knows everything about the world. should i just cut her out of the loop of this decision?

My husband was super supportive before surgery, helooked up the surgery on-line and learned about it. He and I both agreed that it would be best for me. I have to say that now that it is done, things are different. I don't want to say that he is unsupportive necessarily but he just doesn't realize a lot of my restrictions. He bought me a bottle yesterday (super nice) but it's a straw one and I can't drink out of a straw. He said oh I'll make rice for us the other day...I can't eat rice. I guess he just forgets a lot but sometimes it drives me crazy!? It makes me feel like he doesn't really care.

Mine was very opposed but mostly out of fear and concern for me. He was unsupportive until we had a very frank conversation a few days before my surgery. I told him what an asshat he was being and so while he didn't agree with my decision, he drove me to the hospital and took time off to be with me afterward. Two things that he wasn't going to do prior to my confronting him. Now that I'm on the other side, he sees that I am ok and hasn't continued with the negativity. He still doesn't really understand it all and wants to know when I'm going to eat a sandwich and some chips but that's ok. Lol!

I'm not surprised at this...but still disappointing :-( I only lost ONE pound since my last weight in on 6/21/16, the next is on 7/12/16 and my final one on 8/16/16 before my paperwork is submitted to my insurance company. I posted in another forum here on BariatricPal that I had issues with my portions, and sometimes eating more than I should. I live with unsupportive roommates and tempting food every day. My nutritionist gave me a meal plan, but I'm always hungry on it. Any suggestions and/or advice for me?

My best friend of 13yrs has been so unsupportive of me, I was banded 3 1/2 weeks ago and she did not call or text message me for the first 4 days to even see how I was feeling. Now all that comes out of her mouth is you can just watch your calories and lose it and I say yeah we see how well that was working for me. Now I feel as if I don't even want to be around her at all anymore. She is overweight as well so I think it may be a little bit of jealousy that she's I am losing some weight and working out everyday and eating healthy!!!! I feel like I am losing the best friend that I have, is there anyway to over come this?

Hello all! I am brand new to the boards and wanted to ask a few questions... 1. Has anyone had surgery w/Dr. Atkinson? If so tell me about him/it! 2. My insurance is being wonky and now telling me I have to have a second psych consult even though they passed me on the first one, has anyone dealt with something like this? 3. I have a desk job, how many days of recovery from the actual surgery will I need? (we were trying to get everything done so I could have the surgery on my vacation but b/c the insurance is being wonky that won't happen...) 4. Has anyone ever had a family member be super unsupportive? to the point where she won't even speak to me because I'm taking the "easy way out".... Thanks in advance! I hope to get a lot of answers/experience from this community and look forward to sharing my successes and struggles! "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston S. Churchill

So I need someone's opinion on this matter. My sister and her boyfriend have been very unsupportive of me having the lap band. They both believe that I should just get up and exercise and everything will be alright, oh and they are also both really fit people. It is the most frustrating thing!!!! Has anyone had this kind of experience? and what should I do about it?

I don't mean to make my family out to be unsupportive on purpose. But to be clear, I'm the one who had the surgery, not them -- so I can understand that their world hasn't changed much. In fact, they've been supportive and love what they see from me and my weight loss. But for them, their relationship with food hasn't changed. Mine has. What I have been trying to do is tell them, "Yeah, I'm not concerned about eating as much as you are. You're free to cook for yourself to adjust to your schedule or when you want to eat." They don't quite get it. What I want to do is treat it tactically. They want to keep treating it as an "event". If that makes any sense.

Thanks Kat. I think your idea of 3 months of dieting may help as well as meeting with the doctor (but not sure yet if he would attend with me) We have not had too much conversation as it ends quickly with his lack of support comments. I could also deal with trepidicious but unsupportive it tough. I do not want him to think that I am lazy or taking the easy way out. I wish I had a surefire way to have him see it my way.

I had a friend who was the same way but the crazy thing is she was a previous weight loss surgery patient. She had gastric bypass 10 years before I had gastric sleeve. Now 18 months after my surgery our friendship has unfortunately suffered because she treats me completely different. I believe that before it made her feel more secure snot herself having a "fat" friend and now I'm smaller than her. I hate it and I miss our friendship but she has been so unsupportive and said some of the most hateful things to me as I've lost weight. I really don't understand. And she's not the only person. I live in a very small town and I have tons of haters. You would think that going from a size 20 to a size 0 you would have so many people excited and proud of you but I have so many women who before would have spoke to me and now give me dirty looks Aimee

Hi Grl!! I can totally relate to your story and if you need encouragement we can encourage one another. I was banded 11/07. Up until just 1/10 I had only lost 30lbs! My plateau was due to stress. I was told even by my doctor that stress can hinder weight loss. I was living with a man that was totally against my having surgery to begin with. And was very unsupportive of my efforts to losing weight and getting healthy. Thankfully I'm out of that relationship and he is not longer a part of my life. Since 1/10 I've lost 26lbs!! I had to really look within myself and decide that this is what I was going to do and recommit to my band. I set mini goals for myself, started working out and preparing my meals for work. Weekends I usually eat whatever but still being mindful to get my 60+ grms of protein in. I on the other hand I have stretched my pouch too! Therefore, I'm able to consume more food than before. I'm not suggesting that this might be what's going on with you, not even implying that you may be under stress. But if you've not lost any weight in a significant amount of time then sOmethings going on. Weather it be your diet or lack of exercise, stress, I don't know? But that doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you either. Just means you need to set some boundaries for yourself to follow. And get back the mind set you had when you first went into this. When's the last time you visited your doctor? I try to go every 6 months for a check up. Good luck and hope to read from you soon!

The 3 to 6 month waiting period is usually referred to as a "supervised diet". It's a time when the doctor can evaluate how well you do prior to being banded and ensure that you are a good candidate. I agree that if the doctor expects or requires the patient to lose weight during the supervised diet period then he should make this clear and not string somebody that can't or won't lose weight along. The decision to have lapband surgery is a big decision. You should be ready to alter your lifestyle prior to making the decision. As we've all read thousands of times, "the lapband is a tool" and you have to be willing to make some sacrifices if you expect it to work. Nobody said that these sacrifices don't start until after surgery or your first fill. The surgeons would be doing nobody a favor if they proceeded with the surgery on a patient they don't think will succeed. I may be being a little judgmental but I don't want to come across unsupportive. We can all empathize with somebody that has gained weight even during a diet but that doesn't mean we have to attack the doctor who is probably looking out for the patient's best interest.