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well I am not an alcoholic but my dad was.. the key word here is was.. I lost my dad in march he was 44 because of alcohol. I miss him more than anything and I am having a hard time in my life without him. We all tried to get him help but he didn't want it. He tried to quit but he like you would have withdraws and then drink. I begged him to go to rehab he said he will not go somewhere with those kind of people. Do you think the day my dad died he knew he was going to? I'm sure not his house was full of vodka. He just thought another day. He told me the day before he died that he was an alcoholic not a drunk ( I have never seen my dad drunk in my whole life) and that if he went to the dr for pills to help him sleep or for depression whats the difference. There really was no reasoning with dad. But now I don't have a dad I feel pretty much alone since he was my friend not just my dad. It has been about 3 months now and I still wait for him to knock on my door or to call me on the phone. I will never have a dad again now I have nothing because of alcohol. I am telling you this so you will know there are people who love you and will miss you so much if your gone. Please go to rehab and change your life.

Ok, I am not going to start this with "I am not an alcoholic, but..." I am an alcoholic and was addicted to prescription pain meds for a very long time. I want you to know that I personally understand what a difficult time you are having. In saying that I want you to also remember how hard you have worked with your band and changing your life. This is far from where the end has to be and you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back on track. I am suprised with the band that you didn't get sick with all of the carbonation from the champagne and beer. If your doctor will not help you...FIND ONE THAT WILL!!! Don't give up...not now, not ever. Remember your steps and get your butt to a meeting!!!

Thanks you all for your posts. I am going to look into an outpatient program in my area. I have great insurance that covers rehab once a year while you have coverage. I really struggled with the detox on my own so I am hoping the center will keep me on a medically supervised detox. I was 16 months sober when I relapsed. I realize that I have a problem. Yes, my weight loss has stalled because of my alcohol abuse. I have lost 100 lbs and am 25 lbs from goal. The same 25 I have had for 6 months. Today I had a barrium swallow and my band looks fantastic. I just love my lapband doctor. Too bad he can't help me through my detox. He is fantastic. Love to all and thanks again for all the insight and support.

Hi Fit, I'm not an alcoholic but my drink of choice is White Russians and I drank too many of them too often.... now that I count the calories and carbs in those drinks, it's no damn wonder I gained so much weight (that and the evening binges never helped). My mom was an alcoholic and she died of the disease at age 56. My heart goes out to you. I know what a horrible addiction it is and how very hard it is to get, and stay, sober. I miss my White Russians since I got banded, and they are still my indulgence of choice when I decide to splurge. For me the only thing that really keeps me from drinking them more than once every 2-3 weeks is confronting how many calories and carbs they have. Leave it to me to choose one of the worst drinks for a dieter! I like wine too but it doesn't tempt me as much. I've had 2 unopened bottles in my refrigerator for a couple of months. I wish I knew how to tell you to quit. I know that you can, but I think it has to come from within. Just like with losing weight enough to get the lap band, and then wanting it bad enough to work with the band, you have to want sobriety as much. I think you will find a lot of support here. Most of us have a food addiction, and people who are addicted to one thing can easily be addicted to one or more additional substances or habits. I applaud your strength and courage in coming here.

hi fit, for me...the only way to get sober was to: 1. not drink and go to AA meetings 2. contact another alcoholic each day 3. read the big book and the 12 steps/12 traditions i know how you feel...i was there and it is a pretty miserable place. but once you make a decision to get sober and follow the suggestions of AA....the promises will come true. good luck...PM me if you need to talk

He does love me, I am BLESSED in that respect. Hmmm... I can't fit into a tub anymore and with my back issues I'd have a hard time getting back up in the first place. And yep, I can reach to do the "deed" because my "massager" is 18" long. Otherwise, nope, can't groom or reach. I'll take your advice on the wine though. I have 3 more days before I have to start my pre-op diet. I'm not a drinker but alcohol might put me in a position of not caring about my self esteem issues.

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off. The good news is: 1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe. 2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it, 3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating. We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery. We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors. Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes! We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers). Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery: 1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start. 2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process! 3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results! 4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life. 5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off. 6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery! It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

Before I was banded, my surgeon gave me a book to read called The Lap-Band Solution, a Partnership for Weight Loss, authored by Dr Paul O'Brien. He was one of the pioneers of lap band surgery. In this book he tells how originally lap-banders were advised to have no alcohol, due to empty calories. However, many continued to drink and still lost weight. Because of this, they did a study, expecting to prove that people who didn't drink alcohol lost more weight. Surprisingly, they found that people who had one glass of wine a day, lost more weight than those who didn't. Their new recommendation is that up to seven standard drinks a week is OK. Like all studies, I bet there is another one from somewhere else saying the exact opposite. I was only banded 2 weeks ago, have just started mushies, and haven't yet had any alcohol. But when I start real food, am going to start having a glass of wine at night if I feel like it.

PB...I couldn't agree with you more....maybe he is a little scared, you know, when you lose all of this weight and want to move on with your life. Or, is he typically a pessimistic person? If he typically is this way, chalk it up to his typically negative personality and look him in the face and say "screw you, this is about me for a change". He can either take it or leave it. It seems, most of us women, that we get so wrapped up in our marriages and children that we lose sight of us, who we really are. We have let ourselves go and sucumb to the everyday stressors in our lives that afford us the ability to turn to food as our comforting agent. Our junk food is like someone elses crack, alcohol, heroine, meth, etc. etc. You do what you feel is right for you, not what is right for your husband or kids for a change. You will be surpirsed how much happier you will be knowing you did something for yourself, something that will not only make you feel better about yourself on the outside, but something that your body/health will appreciate you for for years to come. To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying amen to what society tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive~Robert Louis Stevenson

Hey signgirl, I'm going to be banded by Dr., Clark on the 25th. I am doing the pre op diet now, though not as well as I should be. I have company this weekend and its hard to make for everyone and not eat anything..or drink anything alcoholic. I go for my pre op testing day. How is WLSC about fills? Are they conservative? Do they put anything in during your surgery?? You've done so well so far! You must be so proud of yourself. Keep up the good work!

Have you drank at all? If not I would suggest drinking something before the big day because your body is going to respond to alcohol a lot differently than before! I personally don't drink that much but if I do decide to drink it is usually vodka and Water mixed with either a splash of pineapple juice or lime. Lots of people don't drink because of the empty calories but i think having a drink every once and a while is perfectly fine, just be careful with sugary drinks such as daiquiris or margaritas... You will feel terrible afterwards. Also, I have experienced that it is nearly impossible for me to drink after I have eaten, I have to wait at least an hour afterwards to drink anything with alcohol in it! Best of luck to you on your big day!! Hope everything is exactly how you have pictured it!

I was sleeved in MX on 3/12/12 this is what I was given. Hope this helps and please treat your tiny tummy and do this so you don't have any serious issues. like a leak. Also I see my primary care for follow up here in the states. She just did my labs for me a few months ago. This was my post op diet Days 1-3 Clear liquids only Days 4-7 Clear liquids and drinkable yogurt Days 8-21 Clear liquids and full liquids Days 22-35 Clear liquids and soft foods. Liquids try to get in 48-64 oz Clear liquids: broth, penitential, diluted apple juice, Protein Water, Popsicle Full liquids: Protein shakes, creamy soups no chunks, (I blended chunky soup) Soft diet: oatmeal, toast, crackers, tuna, mashed potatoes, puree vegetables, cottage cheese, apple sauce. Days 1-7 only clear liquids fruit juice diluted 50/50 NO nectar's Gatorade Special K protein water Vitamin water water tea (herbal) clear broth Popsicle Days 7-21 Day 4-8 begin with drinkable yogurt 1/2 cup servings, with no pieces of fruit. Day 8-10 add liquid Protein to the regimen, at least 30 g of protein a day. Day 7-11 add creamy soups (no chunks) if you can't drink it don't eat it Week 4 Begin with soft foods 22-28 Tuna cottage cheese oatmeal apple sauce Ensure pudding puree veggies mashed potatoes Week 6: increase food as tolerates, chew thoroughly, eat slowly. No carbonated drinks Take small sops, don't chug. Use a tablespoon at first. Drink only what you can. Do not force feed. Do not take more than half a cup at a time. Meds should be cut up or mashed. Take your Vitamins each day. The idea is to not expand the stomach pouch. During the fist week, you will Not be physically hungry (careful with the mental hunger) If you feel lethargic, or very, weak, it's because you are dehydrated, call or email the nutritionist. Important changes: Never combine solids with liquids. Liquids should be taken one hour later after your meal. Suck on an ice cube if you are thirsty. No carbonated drinks. They can make your pouch stretch Avoid high calorie drinks, juices, frappuccinos, milkshakes, alcohol... or you won't be able to lose weight. Or you can easily "dump" Sit down for a meal and take at least 20 minutes for yourself. ( yes you will need 20 mins for 1/2 cup of food) Take small bites. CHEW!!!! 30 Chews per bite Avoid productive burping (P'bing) eating too fast and not chewing food properly, eating solid food too soon after the surgery, drinking liquids with the meals or right after eating, eating too much at a meal. If anything gets stuck, stop eating, wait for it to burp up and don't eat again. Resume your meal later. Eat three meals a day ( solids, no protein shakes) Each plate should have a serving of protein, green veggies, fruit and grain, and one serving of fat If you feel restricted in the morning, drink something warm prior top your Breakfast. If you do not exercise use a pedometer and take 10,000 steps a day. Resume with your exercise 3 weeks after your surgery.

Interesting. Of all the things my doctor and nutritionists stressed, not drinking alcohol ever again, was THE most critical according to them. My clinic team is more on the side of better safe than sorry with most things (they also say no caffeinated coffee ever again), but on the point of alcohol they were very specific. They cited cases of those who had occasional drinks and felt fine but ended up back in the hospital a year later with serious stomach issues. My understanding was that alcohol was the table forever once you make the decision to get sleeved. They very specifically said no sip of champagne on New Years, no drink on birthdays, no sip ever again....literally not a single sip ever again.

Yep, ad nauseum. (I was |-| close to being a psychologist, decided against, but went ahead with the schooling anyway). A good psychologist will definitely be looking for addictive tendencies and will likely start to recommend alternatives or ways to try and supress the behaviors. It's also called "addiction hopping." One if the biggest problems is that the new addiction is either more damaging than the eating addiction (rugs, alcohol, etc.) or cannot be sustained for long periods of time, which can end you up right back where you started. Unfortunately this happens a lot in people who lose the weight on their own. They swap their food addiction for, say, an addiction to exercise and instead of eating 6000 calories a day, they're working out for 3 and 4 hours. Think about it. Who could really sustain that long term, that wasn't otherwise motivated to do so? Not many!

If you feel that you can't stop drinking, then you have an alcohol problem. I would recommend talking to a professional so that you can determine a good path forward. Best wishes!

:scared2: Well I made it through my clubs Holloween bash LOL! It was my first time back around the club since being banded a month ago and I must say everyone was very supportive. Only issue I found is that I like to eat and drink, so I had to be very cognazant of that fact. I did have a few Whiskey Sour's to test my alcohol drinkin ability and I had a few meatballs that where awesome! I allowed myself 1 bite of cake (Ifound it incredibly sweet) and stayed clear of the candy compleatly. All in all it was a great comeback! hope ya'll had a great holloween too!:frown:

1 week clear liquids, 1 week liquids, 2 weeks soft foods, now I'm almost 4 weeks and I'm about to start introducing what I feel like. No red meat for 6 months, no alcohol for 6 months, no raw vegetables for 3 months. Sent from my SM-N975U using BariatricPal mobile app

Hey folks I need advise please! They put me on the two week pre-op diet today and I'll post their guidelines below. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, can I get by with cheating just tmro if I stuck to just about meat and veggies? Will that impact me if I have Thanksgiving dinner? This is also odd, they told me I am to have NOTHING but what's on the list.. that includes meat and eggs... That's protein so I dont understand why I can't have that? Even if it's tuna or something. Can I get some advise please, I'm really frustrated. If need be I'll stay home and not go to Thanksgiving but I don't want to have to do that if I don't have to. Pre-op guidelines Diet guidelines: Low Calorie, 800 calories per day At least 60 grams of protein per day Protein meal replacement shakes Bariatric Advantage[emoji2400] Meal Replacement (available for purchase in office) Ensure Max Protein Shake Equate High Performance Protein Shake Equate Whey Protein Powder Fairlife Core Power or Nutrition Plan Protein Shakes GNC Total Lean Shake 25 Muscle Milk Pro Series Premier Protein Smoothie King Gladiator or Lean 1 Unjury Protein Powder What to include in your diet: Meal Replacements / Protein supplements: 3-5 meal replacement shakes per day Whey protein with at least 20 grams of protein per serving (soy or vegan options available if whey intolerant) Soups: Bouillon, broths, and low-fat cream soups Avoid soups containing noodles, rice, meat, and other food chunks Milk and Dairy: Skim or 1% milk, Almond, Soy, Lactaid, or Fairlife Light yogurt, Nonfat Greek yogurt No ice cream! J Other: Sugar free pudding, sugar free Jell-O, sugar free popsicles Vegetable juice Beverages: should be sugar free and calorie free Aim for at least 64 ounces of total fluids per day Water with Crystal Light, sugar free Kool-Aid, sugar free water flavorings Unsweet iced tea or coffee (decaffeinated preferred) No carbonated beverages, no alcohol, no fruit juices You may have 1-4 cups of non-starchy vegetables per day to satisfy hunger. Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, cucumbers (pickles are okay), green beans, lettuce, peppers, spinach, squash, tomatoes DO NOT EAT peas, corn, or potatoes (starchy vegetables) Sent from my SM-G781U using BariatricPal mobile app

"But terminating the pregnancy caused her so much pain that she tried to cover it with "drugs, alcohol, partying and a promiscuous lifestyle," she told radio host Rich Buhler in an interview with KBRT AM-740." Great piece of "news" from our favorite "news" source: Fox News. Anyone besides me think that this could be another couple who are doing all they can to further their argument against women's right to choose, rather than a sincere effort for the man to "adopt" dead tissue - which, btw, makes no sense at all on the face of it. It's shocking, I'll give them that. But then methinks that is the idea. Last point being, I'm sure that she did no "drugs, alcohol, partying" and didn't have a "promiscuous lifestyle" prior to her first pregnancy. She was a totally virtuous young lady, who was simply taken advantage of by some big bad boy. Only after the first abortion did she ignorantly choose to have unprotected sex that resulted in a second unwanted pregnancy and second abortion. Great story. Heart warming.

I'll answer - No, I don't think she should have legal consequences. Public opionion alone, should shame this woman. I brought up guns/alcohol as examples of "legal" abuses than can take place, such as in this case. I don't necessarily care for those - but since MANY on the Pro Life movement have brought Slavery / Science / Religion to name a few in the discussion; I'm not taking from the topic to address similarites - so long as I don't take this thread 3 pages to proove my comparison. It is just that. I find, Ms Flipflops your comment below uncaring for those who may have NOT chosen to have sex - rather sex was forced on them. Also those who DID choose birth control and it failed. "I'm Pro Choice too- I believe that women have the right to not put themselves in a position where they get pregnant and can't have the child. They can CHOOSE to have sex and have the possibility to conceive, or they can CHOOSE not to and remain 100% positive they won't have a child." What remains paramount to many that are Pro Choice is that a Woman be allowed to determine her outcome should a Unplanned pregnancy take place. I feel we've given this Woman from Yale enough coverage & she is WELL in the minority.

Mark: I think the problem in this discussion is that we view some words differently. I think of "Christian values" as universal and good, i.e. kind, helpful, charitable, etc. "Core values" means the same to me. I am not talking about denominations and maybe that is what is troubling you. The founding fathers came from countries that repressed and punished people for their faith. They saw their individual rights, property, fruits of their labors taken from them. Christianity is about the dignity of the individual, and I believe they got their ideas to form a free country from those beliefs. I appreciate the separation of church and state. I am not suggesting that prayer or a particular religion be forced on anyone. EVER. But the fact is that the Christian values of the earliest Americans helped them make a unique, generous and welcoming country. I can understand that if one does not have a belief in God, it can sound worrisome to hear that. But I think our history has shown that no one is forced to believe in anything. It is also interesting to note that in communist countries the opposite is/was true. Believers were forced to renounce their belief in God or die. The leaders of those countries knew that a person with a strong belief in God could never give over all their allegiance to them. I think maybe the founding fathers knew that also. Let me reiterate---the word "God" or "Creator" is a benign word. They use it in Alcoholics Anonymous and other self-help groups. It does not imply a religion, or force a belief. I think it is used more as a universal code for "something bigger than ourselves", or "a benevolent force that cares about us." Of course, particular religions view it in their own ways, but I don't think the word should make anyone afraid. I hope I explained this better than before.... it is such a difficult subject to discuss via the internet. Thanks for your input.

I found myself gaining weight. My exercise and my portions were ok, but I am drinking too many high sugar alcohol drinks. I just went back to basics, drinking protein shakes and clean food. I need to cut the alcohol and track my meals. The only way I can do this is being accountable about what I am really doing and stop consuming (or drinking) empty calories.

Also, I work in addiction. You know the first indicator I see when I know someone is going to relapse? They swear they are NEVER going back to drugs or alcohol. They don't have enough insight to understand that absolutes and extremes just don't work in the real world with real world challenges. They get blindsided when they happen and deal with them the only way they know how....resorting back to their old self destructive behaviors. The more successful clients understand that although they can't promise they won't ever go back, they will work their programs the best they can, use the tools they've been given and deal with the challenges they know will happen as they come in order to be successful. They don't assume to know it all, either.

Honestly from reading forums for years, people that "fall off the wagon" never seem to get back on it. It isn't like AA, you can just give up alcohol. You can't give up food and if you would never learn to control your eating and food when it was easy post-op, you probably never will. Post-op life shouldn't be on a wagon or off. You have to find a way to eat that is easy, normalized to your and HEALTHY. That way you don't fall off the wagon, don't feel deprived and don't cheat. If you really can't eat right, finding a therapist to help you work through your feelings about food might bring you some success.

Love this topic! Started at 353 in July 2015, lost my first 100 lbs in six months, got down to around 185 in a year and just sort of went back to eating junk. I really liked how I looked and carried my weight well, but the pounds began to creep back on. In May, I found myself back at 215 and VERY unhappy about it. Been back on the high protein/low carb/no sugar thing since then, and now I'm actually lower than when I originally stopped losing! Only 29 lbs to go until I'm in the healthy BMI range, but I've got hips/thighs/boobs and wear a size 8/10, so I feel pretty good. Go on 12 mile hikes every weekend, currently training for 5k. It's so weird considering I've been above the 300 lb mark my entire adult life! Just make sure you connect with people who live a healthy life or do activities with you! The hardest thing was having to distance myself from people who constantly pushed food/alcohol/unhealthy stuff despite my protests, and folks who ONLY wanted to hang out when food was involved. Get you some fitness buddies and you'll be good!