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Hi- I'm new to this forum. I was banded in February 2004. For the longest time, the band was my miracle. I released sixty pounds and maintained my weight around 200 pounds. While this wasn't "skinny" it felt very healthy to me. In December 2006, I slowly began gaining weight. Over time, I've found that I can eat more and more. When I had a test under floro done last March, they said that the band was still tight, but my esophogas had stretched. I went on liquids for a few weeks. It's now almost eighteen months later and I've slowly found my way back to 229 pounds. I've found ways to eat around the band. This was not purposeful, it's just that now I'm noticing that I've become more of a grazer and the band is no longer my sentry or my signal to stop. I can eat sandwiches, burgers, an entire lean cuisine... none of these things are bad on their own, but the band used to help me with portion control. Now I'm able to eat more "normally" and on top of that, I'm eating things like chocolate and Cookies. It feels like all my old unsupportive habits are back in play again. This makes me so sad... In addition, I've started to experience acid reflux in the night while I'm sleeping... all of a sudden I wake up coughing with acid in my mouth. I'm going to see the doctor this week and have scheduled another floro. I suspect that I'm going to need to have the Fluid removed from my band so that I can "rest" everything for awhile and let the esophogus calm down so that I cannot eat so much at once. Truth is I'm rather sad about all of this. For a few years I experienced total freedom from compulsive eating. I lived with tremendous trust that my band and I were trusty partners and that I could release myself from having to worry and not have to monitor what I was eating all the time. But old habits are back now, and I'm able to eat in ways that aren't supporting maintaining a lower weight. My dream is to feel the exquisite freedom of not having to monitor my eating all the time. I would love to be in total sync with my body, my appetite and food. A long time ago when I was on Phen/Fen, I experienced what this was like. Within an hour of taking my first dose, I didn't care about food... and I craved things like carrots and apples. It was a miracle and I remember thinking, "so this is what it is like to experience food like a normal person." The band gave me that sense of freedom for a long time. But now I feel like I'm back and square one... Please send prayers and light that I gracefully find my way in healing this experience for the last time and that I begin eating in a way that honors and supports my vibrant radiant health! Thank you for listening... I just needed somewhere to share this morning. Starrgirrl

You can tell your husband that not all of us that lost hair had it grow in like "clown hair". My new growth is stick straight, and is growing back with a vengeance. It really sounds like he is just not educated enough on how this all works, and is trying to beat you down with a few negatives instead of rationalizing all the positives. I honestly can't understand how a spouse could be so unsupportive. It makes me really thankful for my husband, but my heart hurts for y'all. Honestly, their own insecurities are causing this from what y'all have shared, and sadly they need to work out those issues. Nothing is going to change until they are willing to accept the problem lies within themselves and not y'all. Congrats on getting your pre-op done. Stay strong, you deserve the very best life has to offer.

Hey everyone! This'll be my very first post on here. YAY! Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am for the people on here who are having a hard time with their partners being unsupportive! I truly truly feel for you guys and wish you all the best of luck in dealing with this. Just remember this, that the most likely reason behind the way you're partners are acting (or anyone else at that) is fear. Fear of one thing or another. It is the case with most similar situations, and if that IS the case for you than you're kinda in luck because fear can be conquered, but it's difficult to do alone, especially if the person doesn't even know they are experiencing it. So please, try and see if you can find out what it is your partner "fears". Albeit, losing you, fear of the surgery or complications, fear of the unknown (lack of knowledge), and other possible fears, and work on eliminating that fear however your feel is best. You know your partners best, so don't lose hope. In most cases, such problems can be resolved. And I hope and pray that for each and every one of you experiencing these problems with your partners, that you all are able to resolve whatever issues there are behind the unsupportiveness. And if not, remember that you've got to do what is best for yourself!!! And we are all here, and we all support you! I too have had a unsupportive husband, who is one of those always fit bodybuilding beast of a man guys who think all everyone in the whole world needs to do is HIT THE GYM! LOL. Basically, my hubby and I have a great relationship in every way possible......but we verbally fight like dogs when we rarely DO argue, and laugh like hell while we're at it too (It's just hilarious seeing each other so revved up over something, so the fight is usually over when one of us laughs, as it's contagious lol). We've been like this from day one, and it's mostly my fault lol. We don't say things that can be hurtful, but we do say quite a few playful ish things all the time. No...he does not call me lard-ass! Thought I'd just put that out there. HA! He would be deathly scared to, however I admit I do call him that when I see him downing steak after steak during his Protein munster phases! LOL. I mean to say that we have a VERY open way of communicating where we trust each other with our entire souls to not hurt the other and express whatever it is that is on our minds, directly. No BS. NONE! ZILCH! That is just how I am, and hubby has learned to become the same way having been with me for so long. And me him, a good relationship is one built on trust, honesty and good communication. However, a GREAT relationship is one where both parties know "how" to communicate successfully with each other, and know when to stop and what buttons to simply NOT PUSH. I know when my husband is set on something, I can smell the determination a mile away, and I act accordingly and support him through thick and thin without any need for any level of "assertion" on his behalf. And I expect him to be the same way. The only problems that arise in such a relationship start when one of us doesn't really understand what it is we are truly feeling.....and when it comes to expressing....it's nothing less than an EPIC FAIL!. lol. Basically, my husband felt that I did not know enough about the VSG and is afraid that I am taking too big a risk to simply "get thin". He has fear of possible complications, or harms from the surgery for me, and the fact that I just threw the decision at him like that out of nowhere only made matters worse. ( honestly I never thought to tell him before that I'd researched and researched it off and on through the past 11 years, since I'd never made a decision until now). I should have kept him more aware of it while I was looking into it, so that he could have easily flowed right into it. If you want to know how everything went down in that discussion, and a little about why I decided towards the for me and what lead me to my decision ultimately read on. When I explained to my hub that I was looking into the VSG.....I was straight forward and let him know the facts. What it was, how the surgery is performed, how I felt about it, why I need it and so on so on. My reasons are two, and only two. I want to look good and know how it feels to actually be a normal human being for once....and second, I NEED to be there for my children, I refuse to not give them ALL of myself anymore. My boys deserve a mom who can, will and wants to run around like an erffing lunatic with them all day long LOL. They deserve to have mommy take care of the chores for once so they can learn to do the same! They need there mother to do all of the things, and more, a mother does with her very young boys (3yrs and 8 months). The worst moment of my life was when my oldest bub very recently managed to unlock and open the front door and ran off into the main road infront of the house and ACTUALLY HID BEHIND OUR SUV TO JUMP OUT AND SCARE AN ONCOMING CAR!!!!! SERIOUSLY! I couldn't run fast and hard enough to get to him in time. To this day, I do not even know how I managed to reach him in time, grab him by the waist and throw myself and him back onto the side of the road behind the suv again. If I had fallen or slipped once, just ONCE I don't want to think about what could have happened! Hubby knew all about this incident, and when I reminded him of it (thinking this is the main point of my entire conversation here lol) he goes, "Well see! You ran like hell, and you got him didn't you!" And the man is smiling at me (that heart-melting smile....not quite working today though I did notice lol). He actually thinks he's making a point here. Basically, the fact that I ran and made it barely before my son did that awful thing he was planning to do meant that I was fit enough to do it, I just needed something to motivate me. WTF!!! (disclaimer! lol! we have since made it clear and very well understood that it is incredibly dangerous what bub was planning on doing, and even if it was the case that he wasn't attempting to jump infront of the car but only say boo or surprise it he is to never ever go anywhere near any roads unattended, hide behind cars, or jump at them ever again....honestly you'd think they'd know these things eh? haha....they are only 3 year olds though) Well basically, after a few more "excuses" my husband came up with. I told him to stop talking, and demanded that he will give me 10 minutes to have my say, uninterrupted, and than we can continue. Firstly, I addressed the aforementioned comment he made about how I was able to run and get my son out of harms way in time, so that meant I was actually quite fit! I told him, if he thinks that this is a sensible argument he should re-evaluate his entire way of thinking. If I had been healthy and fit I would not have taken so darn long to half waddle half fall my way over to my son. I would have been able to have gotten off the sofa and get to him before he even got the door open. But my knees do not allow me to do that. Ever since my last pregnancy, I have lost the ability to quickly/easily get up and out of laying/seated positions. My back will "get stuck" if I do it. Which had happened when I ran to get him, and the excruciating pain from that made it impossible for me to move my right leg well enough to stride over to him at any speed. That and my knee pain together scared the living heck out of me that day! The only thing that saved my son was that burst of adrenaline when I opened the door, got onto the steps of the porch and actually saw what he was about to do! Basically, I said to my husband if the fact that I barely made it over to save our son from imminent death from jumping infront of or beside an oncoming car....just in time, rather than having been able to have stopped the boy even leaving the house is an achievement MAJOR re-evaluations need to be made on his part, mentally! Than I explained to him that this is a decision that has already been made. There will be no if's, and's, or but's about it and he has the option to be a supportive part of this decision so that I can remember him there at my bedside throughout such an important time in my life at the hospital, and there by my side as I slowly come into a new era of my life and healthy, fit, and active future when we are both old and have nothing left, but the memories to relive and re-think over and over again. OR he can just sit pretty at home and act like a baby while I move onto bigger and better things for myself and my children, on my own. THEN (here's the best part ), I told him that the second one, is simply not an option and he is coming to Tijuana with me whether he likes it or not because I decide how I see him in the future, I will NOT let him, or anyone else dictate how I feel about MY HUSBAND and MY MARRIAGE. Yes, it is OUR MARRIAGE. But I refuse to let my partner NOT BE A PART of possibly one of the biggest moments of my life that I will remember when we are old and raggedy if I can help it. And first and foremost, I simply refuse to let ANYONE dictate how that important moment, or any other moment in my life at that will be embedded within my memory, not without a fight at least. So if his decision is anything less than "Yes dear, when's the flight?" I will take it to translate directly to "Bye honey, I'm moving back in with my parents while you gather up the paperwork for me to sign, and yes of course your keeping the kids....seeing as there is no way in hell I'm getting them because you will always have a better case then me in court, and I know from experience your lawyer is a BOSS!". So yes, after this conversation was over (it seems much more mean and robotic in writing, but I thought I'd state I was actually being very carefully worded and loving saying all this lol), hubby was all about it lol. Yes, he still thinks I could work out more (but he also thinks he could rid the world of all diseases and illnesses if he could just convince enough people to simply "hit the gym"), and yes he repeatedly tells me he loves my body the way it is and thinks I look gorgeous (can't argue with that ) but he says he knows that this is what I want for me, and skinny, fat, he'll have me any way he can as long as I'm happy. So, needless to say....he's paying for everything lol.

I actually told her to STFU and she got really mad at me and wouldn't speak to me for 2 weeks. How dare I tell her to STFU she said. LOL Needless to say we are not as close as we used to be. Another "great" comment she made (with a disgusted look on her face) was, "Are you sure you'd rather have all that excess loose skin then be overweight?" I told her she was rude and unsupportive and she was seriously dumbfounded - thought she was my #1 supported and friend. I figured out why she was saying that kind of stuff to me though - she likes me fat, I make her feel good about herself. Sad but true...

I have not had the surgery yet but boy am I excited and nervous all at the same time!! I'm hoping to have my surgery in early July ( fingers crossed)! Maybe this can give your mind a little ease- I've been researching WLS for a year now and I finally took the big leap and called my insurance company and attended my first seminar and what an eye opener. My surgeon told us from the time we left that day to the day I have my first consultation to make a list of pros and cons and to write a short paper describing my quality of life that I currently have now. I honestly have to say that I do have some things list on the cons side but there are so many pros I have!! As for my quality of life- i have an amazing and supportive husband and 3 beautiful kids that I love but im not active with them im a side line mom and i hate that. For once I can pictures myself as a healthy, active and maybe even a sexy person! As for people not being supportive I understand! It sucks but ultimately you have to do what makes you happy and a better wife and mom. There will always be unsupportive people but for everyone that's not supportive there are a handful that will be!! Good luck and hopefully you will find peace about whatever choice you make.

The point of the post-op full liquid and clear liquid stages is so that our stomachs don't have to grind. They anchor the band down with just a few stitches, and they don't want any grinding to occur while those stitches heal. Advancing your diet quicker than ordered could put your band at risk. Eating some mushy canned Soup probably did no harm, but please, be careful. I don't write this to add to your guilt, but it it important to know WHY they give us the orders they do. But then again, not all doctors order the same stages of post-op diets. YOUR doctor knows exactly how he anchored your band in place and what is needed for it to heal properly. Unsupportive people are out there everywhere. This forum is a good place to come. I'd plant the cheesecake on that person's face. Or at the very least put a dish towel over it so I didn't have to see it on full display every time I opened the fridge (and explain nicely why I did it)!

So I have been thinking of getting surgery for quite some time now. I have family that are very supportive of my decision. However, my husband basically thinks that since I have never been able to lose it and stick with any plan in the past that this is a bad choice. He doesn't get where I am coming from and thinks I will fail yet again at this weight loss battle. I really don't know how to explain it to him. I have said the surgery itself will make me lose the weight. In losing a good amount, I will feel more energetic and want to get out and be more active. I am 100% going to have the VS but really want his support through it all. Any advice or thoughts?? I am a newbie here but have really enjoyed reading some of the topics and am amazed at everyone's photos! Any thoughts are appreciated!

You will do great! Choose a friend who you know will be supportive. I have a gal who had the LBS a few yrs back and she is going to be my rock, I also have my 2 besties that are super supportive, and I own my own business and my customers are my support even though they don't have a clue they are. One man came in and told me the other day (in front of my husband) "wow, did you do something different with your hair?" I of course said nope been the same for year...just needs a dye job He said "I almost didn't come in cuz it didn't look like you...something is different maybe your face is thinner....'ARE YOU LOSING WEIGHT?' he says....you look great! so the public even though they may not know you had WLS will be complimentive....I'm pretty straight up with most people about WLS but there is that line of personal/business.... I had my surgery in Mexico...My husband had many opportunities to say his peace but chose the morning I was to fly out...he said "Do you have your last will and testiment made out? Going to a 3rd world country for surgery' not sure how much stupider you could be" He left and went to work. I stopped by his work to tell him goodbye I also wrote him a love letter before I left and left it for him to have when I was gone. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health"....Remember your vows. I have known for yrs...he is just like his father who after 50 yrs of marriage to his mother decided he did not want her to live with him anymore....HA not here he better straighten up and fly right.....And I think there is alot of insecurity going on in my man...as he tends to spend xtra time in my office but still manages to say and do things that are rude and unsupportive. I hope once I start losing more, he will continue to take notice that my activities are increasing and my energy is increasing, and my whole livleyhood is increasing...I am also reading a book how a woman should pray for her husband...It guides you thru how we should pray for our husbands and different things we can do to make them feel special and well loved. My book should be here tomorrow I think. I'm ready to put into action any idea that will show him my love and help reform his behavior and feelings toward me, fat or thin.

I had a doctor tell me that the LB wouldn't help someone my size. I was stunned that any doctor would tell any MO not to try ANYTHING to try and improve the situation. I gave him two more times to come around, the third time I told him that he was unsupportive and irresponsible to tell a MO to not try something positive for his health. He told me that I wouldn't lose more then 100lbs. I told him to write that down and read it and ask me if it sounds responsible to tell an MO patient not to lose 100 lbs. That same week I meet with two other doctors, I chose one as my new doctor. I went back to my old doctor and asked him to personally contact my new doctor and not only forward my files, but inform him I left him because he didn't support my attempt at weight loss with the LB. My new doctor found it odd and unprofessional of him. Interesting side note, he moved about 3 months later.

I haven't read all the replies but do the surgery. DO IT! My husband was a flippin a-hole before surgery. I almost whooped his ass and cussed him out which I have never done! He was so unsupportive it was ridiculous. He never expressed insecurity, but called me lazy and said I stuff my face which is not true at all! After surgery he turned into a completely different person. Totally on board and supportive. I love that man, but like you know, I couldn't not have this surgery. Our marriage is great now and honestly, I think he was scared I wouldn't survive. Stay strong! Hopefully he'll come around. If not maybe it's time to move on. I'm glad y'all are are trying with counseling. Good luck!

Only the homeopathic over the counter stuff was banned. The homeopathic stuff was deemed fraudulent as the companies made wild unsupported health claims, which is essentially what the fda regulates. True hcg is still used and widely available, and prescribed for many things from fertility to weight loss. My doctor had me try it several years ago and it really does work for short term weight loss. I lost 60 pounds in 60 days with it and the prescribed diet of about 400 calories per day. The hcg helped keep you full, although it was not sustainable once I was off the hcg, I was never once hungry while on it, and often ate much less than 400 calories without even trying, or becoming hungry what so ever. I ended up keeping the weight off for about 6 months and then it crept back on.

Susan - I agree, this is no small thing. For that reason, I am actually grateful that the recent tragedies have resulted in people (including me) taking a deep breath and stepping back a bit. We SHOULD take it seriously and remind ourselves of the risks and possible complications as well as the life-changing benefits. I am in no position to comment on these recent losses as I did not know them or their families. I can only pray for peace and comfort for those who knew and loved them. In some small way, I feel they did not pass away in vain. The fact that people are researching more, educating themselves and asking questions is a wonderful memorial. For me, it is a small blessing because it DID cause me pause and prompted me to double, triple, quadruple check my rationale and research. I should say, I do not judge any of the surgeons nor do I place blame on the medical professionals or patients. While many people find peace in knowing how many surgeries any one doctor has performed, I feel compelled to point out that with more surgeries, the complication rates and possible fatalities increase as well. That's just basic math...no matter the location, country or medical professional. If US surgeons were performing up to 6 surgeries a day, we would hear of more complications and fatalities. With frequency comes expertise, but also potentially more problems. I'm drawn to Mexico for many of the reasons stated above, including price. I'm also concerned about after-care because my PCP is supportive, but has also given me insight into how many US physicians/surgeons approach procedures done outside the states. Not that they are unsupportive or do not appreciate the skills of non-domestic medical professional, it has to do with documentation, accountability and their own liability, malpractice and complication statistics. And, most of these surgeons do not have individual malpractice insurance, rather the facilities do. This is one PCP's take, and I respect her perspective. I am so grateful for the opinions (to which we are all entitled) and advice on this forum. I see it as another element in my process of researching and decision making. Even if it is a post that I question in terms of credibility or motivation, I take it for what it is, with a grain of salt and recognize this is an open forum with pros and cons, much like every surgeon, hospital and patient. We are all human and take risks everyday. Not one person here has the answers that will make someone decide one way or another. In the end, it is our decision to make, own and live. My gratitude for all who share their stories.

Of anyone who should understand why I am doing this procedure, I would think it would be my mom. My mom has struggled with obesity most of her adult life. She has had several surgeries because of obesity related issues. In 2014 she had 4 surgeries and almost had to skip my bridal shower and wedding because she was so sick. My theory is, have this one surgery now, on my terms, and prevent having to have my knees and hips replaced when I am her age. Her theory is why screw up a "healthy" body when you don't need to. I'm 29, married and "healthy", just overweight. The only time I have ever been a normal weight was when I had a drug problem when I was a teenager. My mom always makes snarky comments about me having surgery. And this weekend it really came to head. We ran into two of aunts when out running errands on Friday. Its bad enough when she makes comments to me, but it really upsets me when she says things in front of other people. Especially people who I haven't even decided if I am going to share with them that I am having the surgery done. So my mom told both my aunts that I am having this done, then she went into her laundry list of reasons why it's not a good idea. I feel that I should be able to decide who I want to share my news with and who I don't want to tell. I am not doing this in secrecy, but I'm not sharing it with everyone. I have told my immediate family, 2 coworkers and about 5 close friends. I'm sure everyone will eventually find out, but I want to tell them on my terms. It would be just be really nice to be supported, especially by my mom. Thanks for listening.

I've read on here a lot of you guys were given stomach braces to support you during recovery! Unfortunately my surgeon didn't do this and i've been feeling really unsupported! This morning I decided to put out a dreaded pair of spanx to see if that would help! The difference is amazing! I feel like a totally different person! It gives me that tiny bit of extra support I need to help me more around and walk without feeling so heavy! I was so excited to burn all my spanx once i lost weight but im glad i didn't yet because they are definitely a life saver right now!

That is horrible Nici But, easy way... I think not... That statement reeks of an unsupportive spouse or family. WLS was brilliant Nici. How many times are you supposed to try and beat that 95% failure statistic before enough is enough? Easy way is just so silly. How many highly driven and successful people do we have to see struggle with weight loss before we realize that it's not about easy? For the majority of us, it's about genetic predisposition and nothing more. I hope you can get this fixed and find success with your weight. Really feel bad for your situation

My husband never EVER would have hurt me with the words your husband uses, maybe you need to drop 180 pounds of unsupportive man. My husband loved me thin, FAT, OBESE and will love me thin again, because it is me he loves not my weight, I hope he comes around but I also hope you make the right choice for you and what will make YOU happy, lots of love and I I pray for you to make the right decision for yourself, support is a big deal because this surgery is a very big deal. Good luck.

Yes. This surgery will help you control disordered eating....but it won't fix why you have disordered eating. Cutting out your stomach doesn't fix your head, and yes, lots and lots of people never come anywhere near goal and lots of people will regain the weight. Not what anyone wants to hear...but it's the truth. Here's my version of "wisdom"... (lol) 1. Avoid extremes like the plague. Work on reaching a normal sustainable amount of calories eating healthy well-balanced foods. Crash diets and extremes don't work longterm. You probably already know this. Don't forget. 2. Losing weight at a breakneck pace is exciting and giddy....but can be crappy for your health and your longterm metabolism. You didn't gain it all in a year, you likely won't lose it all in a year. Work harder on making small meaningful permenant changes you can live with forever....than embracing extremes that will eventually burn you out. It's very easy to feel like post surgical extreme dieting is the new norm. Eventually, it catches up with you. The goal should always be a nutritious balanced diet with adequate (but not excessive) calories. 3. Find and see a bariatric therapist. Particulary, after surgery. Your disordered-eating brain still needs to be retrained. It has triggers you can identify and work through that will increase your success long term. Give your eating behavior history the care and consideration you give your new stomach. If depression and anxiety contribute to your disordered eating...address them. (This one is so important) And these are just my personal ones... 4. Wear a fitness tracker. You don't have to go to the gym to increase your exercise, but you do need to be aware of how much you move and how many calories you're burning. My exercise is just walking more. It has made a HUGE difference in my health, endurance, fitness. Even if you're someone who has limitied mobility, or who "hates exercise"...you can give your metabolism a terrific boost just by adding a couple hundred steps a week. 5. Invest time in supportive people. Avoid unsupportive people. At least until you've got a good handle on how to manage your eating behavior and triggers.

It can be tough at first when folks start grilling you about being off work and the reason for it. So many folks instantly assume that we all have wls simply to look better when in most cases it's about feeling better and getting healthy. Never ceases to amaze me at how folks scoff at getting healthy. You are early in this deal. It does get much easier later on. I can assure you of that. As the weight comes off and you feel better each day your concern over other's unsupportive comments will diminish just like your belt size. Stay the course and get the results you want. It'll get easier in all aspects.

This is crazy, I've had similar things happen to me. People are crazy and too opinionated. I had to "educate" a ton of people on the subject, it was annoying but it was the only way for people to understand me & what I was doing. The doctor who did my pshyc eval said to get those negative, unsupportive people out of your life. I'm glad your strong enough to over look them.

Not so fast.... Spouses being unsupportive at first is actually pretty normal. There's a lot of feelings going on I'm sure....fear for your health, fear of change, fear of the unknown. Talk to him about it. Educate him and help him understand what to expect leading up to and after surgery. Have him go to your appointments and support groups so he knows what's ahead. Maybe he will lighten up a little?

Oh my gosh, that story truly horrifies me. My DH would have been in the OR with me if he could have, (bless his silly little heart) So its unthinkable for me to hear of a husband that is so unsupportive. I give that woman tons of credit for going through with the surgery to possibly save her health and posssibly her life alone.

I hope this is the right thread.. my husband doesn't support my decision to have vsg.. thinks its unnatural.. not a good idea.. of course he's found someone with complications and further States his case.. he's very controlling and always doesn't understand y I can't "just go on a diet..exercise more".. I really wanna go this and I think its right for me.. but I don't think my marriage would make it.. should I not do it cause he's insecure and afraid I'm gonna leave once I start loosing the weight? Thanks for listening..

I agree with KristenLe. Sounds like he's unsupportive in terms of child rearing and unsupportive of your new healthier, lifestyle change. If he won't agree to help with child rearing, household chores, and your personal needs, you need a family member or friend to be by your side helping at least for the first week, whether they stay with you or you stay with them. If he's still unsupportive, the lack of support and stress from your partner can sabotage your future of a healthier and happier you. And your child needs a healthier and proud mother as a role model too. You put a lot of thought, time, and effort into the decision of having WLS, and to be successful, you need to put your needs first, not his. Best wishes. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G925A using the BariatricPal App

I'm on here because my sister just had bypass surgery on Monday so I really have no room to speak. However, I just want to tell all of you with unsupportive friends and family that they are jerks. I've seen how my sister has struggled since she was a child with weight. I've seen her lose and gain. I've seen her not go to amusement parks because she was terrified that she wouldn't fit on the rides. This surgery was an enormously difficult choice for her, but one she made for her physical and mental health. Anyone that sneers at you for "taking the easy way out" needs to be flogged. The easy way out is to give up. I didn't know a lot about these surgeries until my sister really started investigating them. Yes, they are drastic and life-changing. Isn't that the point? So is cancer treatment. No one tells a chemo patient they are taking the easy way out. That if they had just tried harder, they could have beat cancer. I applaud every single one of you. You are taking control over your life in a way that you couldn't before. I wish I could give you all hugs.

My mother was very unsupportive. She didn't say it was a quick fix (which sucks that yours did), but she just kept saying things to scare me. "What if....you get stomach cancer later on, die, have problems, etc. etc." However, my mother has never been supportive of anything or decision I've made so I am pretty much used to it. She is not educated on the matter and therefore she just says things she shouldn't say. She did the same thing when I became pregnant. I had back problems so when I got pregnant instead of being excited (like a normal person would) she made negative comments and really took the joy away from me. A few weeks later I lost the baby and I thought I may never forgive her pessimistic attitude towards everything. I realize every situation is different, but as you've said, you are your own woman and you are making this decision for you and for your happy and healthy future. Perhaps mom needs to go a few weeks without hearing from you in order to have time to realize that you have no space in your life for negativity. I completely understand being concerned, but sometimes I just don't get why people can't just be happy for other's decisions, etc. You have to do what is right for you and it is hard to want that approval and not be able to get it. You'll be in my thoughts as you undergo this transformation. I had my surgery Tuesday and I feel so excited for what the future holds.