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WANT VERSUS WILL You know me: I’m the girl who spent hours reading the dictionary for fun when I was a child. I’m fascinated by words, their meanings, and how their meanings change depending on the context in which they’re used. Take the word “surrender”, for example. An army surrendering to the enemy is (to many) a shameful act. But when the enemy surrenders to our own army, that surrender is (to many) a triumph. A small change – the order of words in a sentence – can make a huge difference in the meaning of one word. The words I want to talk about today are WILLPOWER and WANTPOWER. Wantpower is a word coined by my friend Valerie. She was banded with plication on June 6, 2012 and has lost 73 pounds. She has a lot more to lose, but she’s off to a great start by following the “rules” to the very best of her ability. Valerie says that’s not because she has any willpower. It’s because she has wantpower. I hear people bemoan their lack of willpower all the time. Even control freaks like me can regret their weak or absent willpower, especially when they’re trying to sustain weight loss momentum over months and years, and after that a lifetime of weight maintenance. It’s such a common lament that I sometimes wonder if willpower truly exists in humankind. That lacking may hold a spiritual message for us, about surrendering (there’s that word again!) to the will of God or to our Higher Power. Spiritual messages can take a lot of time to process, so what are we to do in the meantime? First, let’s make sure we’re clear on the meaning of the word willpower. Webster’s defines willpower as strength of will, mind, or determination. When we use willpower, we choose our own actions rather than submit to someone else’s will (including God’s). These actions are conscious choices. We’ve thought about them, considered the costs and consequences, decide to act on them. In the world of weight loss, that might represent a decision to follow the Atkins diet and to act upon that by eating mostly protein, a fair amount of fat, and very few carbohydrates. In that scenario, we must use plenty of willpower to resist temptations like cookies and garlic bread. So far so good, right? This is a good thing that’s going to move us closer to our weight goal. Every day we ignore the candy in the vending machine at work is a triumph of willpower. But did you know that the word “will” also has a negative connotation? Willfulness means doing as we please, out of sheer stubbornness or defiance, whether our actions are good for us or not. It’s hard to say where willpower leaves off and willfulness begins, but there’s a value judgment somewhere in there. To follow your diet-du-jour to perfection represents willpower, but to eat a giant piece of birthday cake despite your doctor’s admonitions about your sugar intake represents willfulness. One is considered good, the other is bad. In the bariatric world, willpower has another meaning, and believing in that meaning can actually take you further from rather than closer to your weight goal. As Presbyterian minister and author John Ortberg says, "Willpower is trying very hard not to do something you want to do very much." Read that sentence again. Can you detect the pitfall? Let’s look at it again. "Willpower is trying very hard not to do something you want to do very much." It’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with insufficient willpower when it involves avoiding something you want badly. It’s a battlefield generously mined with bombs, because every second of every waking hour of every day of our entire lives involves making choices that go against our own desires. Those desires, wishes, needs and cravings appear to be dangerous, and we fear that giving in to them will send us to hell. But the wantpower they represent can be put to good use, and may be easier to come by than the willpower we think we need but lack. In my own case, my will makes my executive decisions and my want gives me the fuel to carry them out. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Even if you’re blessed with (or have cultivated) a great deal of willpower, that alone isn’t always enough to power you to your goals. First you need to identify your goal (in very specific terms), and then you need to really, truly want it. Not just because it’s a good idea, or because your doctor or friend or partner wants you to have it, or because you think it will solve all your problems. Using your wantpower means reconnecting with that feeling of wanting on a frequent basis. It means keeping your goal always in sight, like the proverbial carrot on a stick (see, even donkeys are motivated by food). It also means disconnecting from the doubts and fears and negative thoughts that can pop up to ask you if that goal is even achievable, desirable, or otherwise deserving of your effort. A few weeks ago I wrote a Bandwagon on the Road newsletter article about knowing your limits, and I’ll be the first to point out that the ambition of a 59-year-old woman like me to lose (for example) 200 pounds, become America’s next top model, marry Tom Cruise, give birth to octuplets and become a reality TV star is probably not achievable. I hope that when identifying life goals, you subject your dreams to a reality check and/or carefully consider all it’s going to take to make them come true. There’s nothing wrong with the top model goal above as long as you realize that achieving it will require climbing a mountain instead of strolling across a meadow. When packing your luggage for that trip, don’t forget to pack your wantpower. It will take you a lot further than a long list of “shoulds.” And doing something because you WANT to is a heck of a lot more satisfying than doing something because you (or someone else) think you should. WANT is the fire that cooks your life’s meal, seasons it to taste wonderful, and provides the fuel to keep you moving forward. So the next time you’re tempted by a donut, ask yourself this: Is this little thing I want going to make me happy for more than 2-3 minutes? Is it going to get me closer to the big thing I really, really want (weight loss)?

Eat enough protein. It is Rule #1 of WLS Surgery 101, and for good reason. Hitting your 65 or more grams of protein each day can help you reduce hunger, improve your immune system, and gain strength. Even if your bariatric surgery is long behind you, check weekly, if not daily, to be sure your protein intake is as high as you think it is. Drink more fluids. Lose more weight, stay fuller, and prevention dehydration fatigue and headaches with enough fluids. The goal is to get at least 64 ounces of water or other fluids each day, but a lot of bariatric patients have trouble getting there. You can help yourself out by putting out for 16-ounce water bottles (or a 64-ounce [half-gallon] pitcher) and making sure you finish them by the end of the day. Or, use a high-tech tool such as a Hydration Reminder that synchs to your smartphone and will not let you forget to drink! Water, ice water, water with lemon or mint, decaf tea and coffee, and low-calorie flavored water are all good choices. Find a friend. A weight loss buddy is worth her weight in gold. Paand weight loss If one friend is good, more friends are better – the more, the merrier when it comes to help eating right, exercising, and reducing stress. The Forums can help you connect with other patients looking for a friend. Go to the doctor. It is easy to see why going to a doctor is necessary if you are thinking about surgery or have it scheduled, but it is not only your surgeon whom you should see. Pre-op or post-op, seeing your primary care and any other of your regular doctors can help you stay healthy or get healthy. You can monitor important measures such as blood sugar and cholesterol levels, and make action plans for any other conditions, such as knee pain or sleep apnea. Take your vitamins. There is no substitute for a healthy diet, but a healthy diet is not always enough, especially for post-op patients. Talk to your surgeon or doctor about any vitamins you should take, and take them as recommended to prevent deficiencies. If your health is not motivation enough to get you to take your vitamins, consider this: staying nourished can also help you lose weight by keeping up your energy levels and metabolism. You can give yourself a hand by using aids such as a Tespo vitamin dispensers or choosing your favorite forms of vitamins, such as Patches, Pills, or Chewables. Smile. Smile when you greet people. Smile when you say goodbye. Smile when you are talking and listening. Smile for no reason. It really works. The very act of smiling can help convince your mind that you are happier. Plus, smiling at other people will make them more likely to be friendly to you – and make you happier. All that extra happiness can make it easier to do your daily duties, such as eating right and working out. These six strategies are simple enough, and they can help the pounds come off in 2018 with less effort. They are worth working on daily if you are going to hit your goals this year. Happy New Year!

My largest was 28-30w, now in 20s just about ready to go down to an 18, 20s are getting loose, especially the slacks and jeans. My Goodwill just remodeled and moved into a new facility. They are going to gave a drive-thru drop off. In the old store you had to bring donations in the front door. People shopping could look and sneer at what you were bringing in. Never liked that! This way as I undergrew each size I ,packed it in a box so I have 5x,4x and 3x items as well as the corresponding in mens, often I bought my sweats in that department. All nice and clean , mostly Wal-Mart but a few from Lane Bryant or Added Demensions and one church outfit with Catherine's label. Really okay stuff. Kinda like not wearing the largest size each store carry. And pants slipping down and nearly falling off, "Oh Yeah Baby", to channel Austin Powers. And day by day I look less like a salami and more like a Human Female. Nobody will as me any more whether I'm Male or Female, my figure will end the controversy. Attempted to sell some of these on our local Buy- Sell- Barter- Trade radio show called Tradio. Put a reasonable low price, got 2 calls, one wanted 5x mens instead, sorry the man items I had were 3x-4x, the other claimed she would be buying them for her mother, gave her directions to my house but she never showed up. Wasted half a day waiting on her. Some bariatric Facilities have a Clothes Swap Area , you bring in what you have outgrown and exchange them for the same # in a smaller size. Wish mine would do that, but they don't seem interested or have the space to devote to it.

Hello, SunnyRachel! I just posted before regarding chewing. It's so important, I see. I'm really trying! As far as the breads go... I decided to give them up now, the conventional loaf breads anyway. I've been doing wraps. I would like to give that up eventually as well and just roll my sandwiches in lettuce leaves. My downfall is RICE. I'm Asian and grew up on it. I can eat it with ANY meal, any time of the day or night. It was a staple in our house rather than a side dish. I've almost given up the white rice :cursing:. I'll still have it every once in a while. I eat brown rice and though it just okay, it really doesn't replace the white stuff. I really appreciate your honesty. I want to know the plain truth about everything! It looks as if you are doing well. Not one of my friends know what I'm doing. As a matter of fact, the only one I'm talking to about this is a coworker whom I've only known for about 6 months. She has weight issues as well. She is not overweight by any means, but she can have the potential. She works out constantly and always watches what she eats. Her hubby went thru gastric bypass surgery 2 years ago so she is able to give me a fresh point of view... being the spouse of someone who has had bariatric surgery. She's been a wonderful supporter and I vent to her when I am stressing. I will be sure to look for you now when I need to discuss or vent! Good luck to you as well and keep up the great work!

This might be late information to this thread, but hopefully it will help someone in the future. If you're from Ontario, Canada you can check out all the information at http://www.ontariobariatricnetwork.ca Just have to get your doctor to refer you into the registry, then you'll get a letter in the mail about 1-2months later telling you when your orientation date is... from there you're on your journey! There are bariatric centres in Hamilton, Toronto, Guelph, and Ottawa that you can have the surgery at. The bypass & sleeve surgeries are both covered by OHIP!! So rejoice!! I sure am!! :purplebananna: :not_ripe: There's a and shares some of the out of pocket expenses she had, so this might help you as well when saving money for this surgery. Hope this helps my fellow Ontarians! :cornut:

Thank you everyone for answering back I had actually already talked to my bariatric surgeon and he didn't think there would be an issue with doing the surgery... I'm not completely immobile I can't put any weight on that one leg but I'm getting around on a knee scooter at the current time and that's going to be for a total of 2 months, by the time I have the bariatric surgery I will still have 2 to 3 weeks remaining with my cast on. Even though the doctor said it shouldn't be an issue I've been reading a lot of post of things that could go wrong (nausea, weakness, leaks, gallbladder issues), by the way can someone explain slimies to me, everyone keeps mentioning them but not what they are and I have these absolutely horrific ideas at this point, but anyway I think my main concern is that something really goes wrong with the bariatric surgery and not being able to be fully mobile if it does.

I did not have sleep apnea... yet. Had a study done about 10 years ago that was "inconclusive". I was not required to attend NUT classes, but our Bariatric Care Center offers free twice-monthly support group meetings with the staff Nutritionist and monthly info mtgs with the surgeon. I voluntarily attended these for almost a year, just to learn as much as I could. At the end of the 6 mo dr-supervised wt loss requirement, BCBS issued a "certification" that was valid for 13 months. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using the BariatricPal App

Am I really doing this? That was the question I kept asking myself today. Am I going to this consultation for bariatric surgery (that's something for obese people)? Am I going to post blogs on this site visited by obese people?.....Yes I am because as of today, that strange sounding being is ME!!! For soooooo long I was the big girl that had all these small friends who made excuses for why she didn't look like the other big people they saw (and sometimes made fun of). I was the token big friend that they genuinely enjoyed being around because I was sooo funny, always smiling, dressed nice, etc... So why when we go out to dinner, parties, hell the grocery store other people saw everyone in the group but the big girl? Of course, once i started talking and they got to see who I really was, they liked me...as a friend... Well I've got friends up to my wazoo...I need something more; I need a LIFE!!!!! So yes, after all of that I am really doing this!

Hi! I just wanted to introduce myself (and my husband). I am a 30 year old registered nurse who has struggled with my weight for my entire life. My husband is a 33 year old "computer dork" who has also struggled with his weight for longer than he can remember. We both were extrememly active in high school, and even into college, but of course that changed when we hit "real life". We have both lost weight and gained it back. But thankfully we are both getting banded next week - me on Monday 7/28 and him on 7/29!! One of the things that attracted us to each other and has kept us together is our experience with weight loss and gain. We can relate to one another and can be each other support (and unfortunately, each others worst enemy!!). But we are tired of the struggle of losing weight and not being able to keep it off. We have both FINALLY admitted to ourselves that we need help! As I said we are getting banded next week at the Institute for Advanced Bariatric Surgery, in Lenexa, Kansas, by Dr Wanda Kaniewski. We are SO excited! We are struggling through the dreaded 10 day liver-shrinking/liquid diet but are determined to get through it! I have been "lurking" around the site for several months now and decided I had better introduce myself. Thank you to everyone who has provided support to me (even though you don't even know it!). It's great to have some place to go and share triumphs and tribulations with people who understand! Wish us luck!!! :eek: ~~Allison

Michelle, I know that you have seen both sides of how cancer can turn out. Sending prayers, encouragement, renewed strength, and (((hugs))) to you, your son, and family for positive news and a quick recovery. I'm so glad that you got that "time out" in Vegas. You needed and deserved that. Please take care! :cool:

You know, it's been a wonderful day. Last week I found out from one of the "higher ups" that they were dropping all allegations against me at work! Thank God for witnesses!! While I am truly grateful for my job, I am still a bit pissed off that it went this far. One more meeting on Thursday and it should officially be over. Seventeen years, with 13 of it being at the same position and they treated me like dog doo. The best news is I also had my surgeon consultation today and it went great! After having to cancel my appt last month, I was happy to find out that as of yesterday, my surgeon of choice, Dr. Faulkenbery of Southwest Bariatrics, now uses the Realize Band which is what I wanted! He seemed to like their support site very much. Tomorrow I make appts for the blood work/EKG, the psych appt., the exercise appt and then the nutritional counseling. I am hoping to have it all done by the end of the month so I can have the surgery by the middle of June. And if my day couldn't get better...I didn't even get charged in the parking garage ! :thumbup:

All bariatric surgeries have their success stories. And all can be defeated. Some surgeries are recommended by surgeons over others based on your medical history and comorbidities. If that is not a factor in your case, you surgeon may leave the decision up to you. But if asked directly, most surgeons will make a recommendation for one surgery over another. And as others have suggested, nothing will build your confidence like your own research and you're in the perfect place to benefit from the experiences of so many great folks. Welcome to the forum! You're gonna love the new you!!

I think it's interesting you put it this way because a few years ago I had a similar epiphany about dieting. If my dieting, losing weight but then gaining it all back and then some, was instead a "bad boy" boyfriend that I kept leaving and going back to, all my friend would be lecturing me and begging me to cut out this destructive behavior. But whenever you go on a diet, people get all excited for you and give you all kind of "atta boys". That is how ingrained it is in our society that fat people have brought their problems on themselves through their own bad behavior and all they have to do to not be fat is have a little bit of self-discipline. The idea that there is a biological component to our condition is rejected outright and us bringing it up is seen as "making excuses" and "not taking responsibility" for our actions. That's also why bariatric surgery is seen as "cheating" instead of a tool to break the destructive cycle of failed dieting.

That's awesome. I have BCBSIL PPO and the surgery is covered under my employers contract. It has to be deemed medically necessary! Well, I fall within the guidelines of what BCBSIL require >40 and I can see a Master's Degree or higher NUT to say I'm mentally stable and understand what's expected before, during and after surgery. But ... My surgeon, through Cadence Health Bariatric Treatment Program, @ Central Dupage Hospital is having me to meet with my PCP for bloodwork and a letter stating there are no medical contraindications to surgery and a release to exercise, NUT, Pulmonologist, consult with an Exercise Specialist prior to surgery, Gastroenterologist eval or blood test to screen for H.pylori, an ECD and attend at least 1 support group. This along can take months. Is all this needed to help with the approval from the insurance company?

That's kind of a privilege of being a male. Overweight women are pariahs--we are assumed to be lazy, have weak character, etc. I'm not telling anyone (not a single person) because people are nasty, judgmental, rude... I don't need anyone telling me how to eat, or what I should or shouldn't do about my body. For some reason though it happens all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" "Have you ever bought a slow cooker? You can just fill it up with lean Proteins and vegetables in the morning and have a healthy meal at the end of the day!" "I can show you some easy workout routines." These things are always UNSOLICITED. Most recently, a blonde haired plastic Barbie approached me at target to give me her husband's business card. It was very strange but I took it and gave an awkward "thanks..." And as she walked away, I looked down to see that her husband is a Bariatric surgeon. It was this moment that did in fact inspire me to look into WLS, but not because of her recommendation (I am certainly not seeing that surgeon). But because I'm so tired of being judged by other women. I'm only 90 lbs overweight. I can't imagine how other heavier women manage. I don't want my identity to be defined by my WLS or my weight period. It is for this reason that I refuse to tell anyone. Wow !! What a b**** !! Her husband is gonna lose business with her rude tactics !!

There are others with plenty of protein. I use Muscle Milk Pro premade shakes because I became intolerant of whey protein. It actually has 32 g of protein vs. 30 g for Premier Protein. If you get sick of sweet drinks, I have liked several of the protein soups available here on Bariatric Pal

Are you having bariatric surgery or a baby? Those small serving freezer containers are actually a really good idea!

I'm having surgery next week. I got some unflavored protein powders, Bariatric Advantage chewable vitamins, vitamin patches and comfy clothes for the days after surgery. Plus a few gift cards for new clothes when I need them.

I would go into your Dr. and ask him/her. I was at my Dr's for something else and asked if she could give me a referral to a Bariatric Center in the same medical system. Perhaps the Bariatric Dr. or the patient liaison in his staff can tell you if your insurance has approved the surgery for anyone else. I would think if the Bariatric surgeon thinks you have a case he might put in an appeal? I'm just guessing here... anyone out there from Louisiana?

It is at DePaul, May Center. Bariatric Support Group Meeting. Meets the third Wed. of every month. 530pm to 700pm.

I had a long day of pre-op yesterday and today is my last day of real food. I start a 10 day liquid diet tomorrow and feel rather emotional about it. I'm excited because I've wanted this for so long, yet I'm scared that I won't be able to conquer this diet. I know that it is the one last hoop I must jump through, but it is such a long time to be strong. I'm trying to think like the bariatric team told me yesterday - this is my part in making my actual surgery a success (shrinking my liver so the surgeon can do his part with ease). Since misery loves company...who else is starting or doing the liquid diet?

My idea is to ratchet down your expectations about the speed of your weight loss. You are putting a lot of unnecessary stress on yourself and your wishes for how fast weight loss will proceed may not be entirely realistic. I lost a total of 40 lbs in the first three months (I started at a higher BMI than most btw) and I was pleased and my bariatric team told me I was doing fantastic. In my book you should be thrilled about your weight loss. Occasionally stalls and pauses along the way are completely normal. Don't worry about them unless you think you are not following your program correctly to the tune of eating several hundred/thousand calories per day more than you should be, which I would guess you are not!

Just saw them, my surgeon's is off as well, the length of time he has been doing bariatric surgery and the % of his practice is off from what I can tell.

The bariatric foodie just reviewed Quest bars .. If you have FB you can like her page. They do have sugar alcohol called something else I can't remember but anyway wanted to let you know thaf date of surgery 02/21/12 surgery weight 340 lbs. current weight 146 lbs

Hello fellow Bandsters! I had my surgery almost 2 wks. ago on 3-28-06! I had it at Edmond Medical Center, in Edmond Oklahoma, a suburb of Okla. City! They have a small Bariatric unit and I had wonderful care. Dr. Philp Floyd was my surgeon. Very kind and reasurring. I am on pureed "food" and protein drinks at this time and of course lot's of water! I haven't had any problems to speak of. My Dietician has been a HUGE help. I will have my first post-op visit on Tuesday. I'm excited to see if I've lost any weight. The biggest surprise since the surgery is that I'm really not hungry. I think it is the 1st time in my life I've experienced this! I'm so happy I was lead to this website!