Search the Community

I wonder if he'd even notice the incision scars. Mine were so tiny I really didn't notice them (I think they're gone now - since I had a lower body lift - but if they're still there, I sure haven't noticed them). You're far enough out from surgery that he probably assumes you're just a light eater. Nothing unusual about that - a lot of my women friends who've never been obese eat lightly - they'll either order an appetizer or, if they get an entree, they'll eat half of it and put the other half in a to-go box. I do that, too, now. I'm sure no one suspects I've had WLS at this point. Also, you're not the only person who doesn't care for sweets or doesn't tolerate ibuprofen. I'd say whether or not you tell him is up to you. You already told him you'd lost a lot of weight, hence, the skin issue - as far as the rest, I'd be a little surprised if he put two and two together. I wasn't in the same situation since I was married when I had surgery (still am), but if not, I personally probably wouldn't have mentioned it unless the other person brought it up in conversation (and then I'm not sure how I'd respond - I guess it would depend on how serious I was about the relationship). But then, I'm me and you're you. I was always pretty private about my surgery - very few people know.

This is definitely not a failure. I think you're doing great!!! If I may ask, what was your starting weight and bmi? Those that start off at a lower bmi tend to lose slower. Your non scale victories are amazing, and if you're happy, then it's a success, not a failure. Never compare yourself to anyone else. We are all on very different journeys, and no two people's will look the same.

I do a modified keto. My surgeon said to do 60-80g of protein everyday, less than 50g of fat, less than 50g of carbs, and little to no sugar. I do all of that except I chose to limit my carbs to 25 or less per day and I typically do 70-90g of fats (healthy, like avocado, not a lot of bacon and sausage and all that). I also severely limit my salt. I told my surgeon, and at first he wasn't too happy about it. But I've lost 103 pounds in almost 7 1/2 months, my cholesterol and bp are perfect, I'm no longer diabetic. So he said as long as I'm doing good and my numbers stay good, he's ok with it. I'm no longer on my bp pill, my 3 diabetic meds, or my Celebrex (really strong anti-inflammatory). I'm now able to work out 5-6 days per week and I have my full mobility back without my cane (I needed a cane at my heaviest weight).

I haven't posted in a minute - life is feeling very normal now that I'm almost a full year post op so I haven't been perusing the forums too much. I've finally reached my first goal weight which is great. I've lost 120 lbs. I still have restrictions on my eating. I don't get food stuck as much but if I take that "one bite too many" I can get nauseous for solid 1 to 2 hours but dating is feeling pretty easy in terms of eating. I know what works and what doesn't when planning meals with my partner. I have recently started seeing this guy and it's getting pretty serious with that. He's super into fitness and is a martial arts athlete. I am recently starting to train for a marathon so we've been able to bond a bit over training and stretching properly but as someone who was recently super morbidly obese, I feel super awkward still talking about exercise and nutrition with him which is a big part of his life. I told him I recently dropped a lot of weight and he's super encouraging and is always telling me I should be proud of myself because I can be quiet about it around him and others. I am terrified to tell him that I got weight loss surgery because I don't know what he thinks about it and I feel like some fitness people stigmatize it a lot. It's even as crazy as me keeping my shirt on during seggsy time or turning the lights off completely because of my incision scars and I'm also super self conscious about my loose skin which I've already told him about and he says he loves my soft tummy which is nice but it makes me kind of want to die (metaphorically lol) because I hate my body so much. But he's super kind and just wants me to be comfortable really but I am so scared to tell him about surgery and I get so awkward talking about fitness because I still feel like I'm 340 lbs. Anyone have to deal with a situation like this? I mean at some point or I guess at what point will it become obvious? How long can I really keep the lie up? I told him I lost the weight with calorie restriction. I told him I have an ibuprofen allergy and that I hate sweets (really though because of dumping lol). I feel like a horrible person though because I am really starting to care about him. I would appreciate any advice. My family says that I owe no one an explanation and there's no obligation or moral reason to tell people that I had the surgery. I kind of agree with that but there are moment where it's like - is she just being really shy around me? Why is she eating like half of a serving of food? Or getting nauseous or taking all my horse pill supplements and dealing with some vitamin deficiencies every now and then? Idk. Not sure how this usually goes for people. Thanks!

I’m so glad I came across this thread! I’ve lost 100lbs since my surgery and my breast have lost all shape and volume. I never had really large breasts to begin with but now what I did have is completely gone and ‘deflated.’ Did those of you who had breast lifts see a reconstruction specialist? I feel like those of us who have lost a LOT of weight kinda fit in a category all our own. Also, I’m wondering if I should consider implants as well. Most of my adult life I had a full C cup size and now my breasts are just sad on a cracker.

Back in August 2012 I had a RNY surgery. I had done about a year of work to get to that point. A month or so before the surgery I discovered my wife at the time was cheating on me. I confronted her about this and she denied it but after some discussion we agreed to work on the relationship. Fast forward to the day of the surgery. She accompanied me to it that morning, I went back and the procedure was completed. I was taken to my room and was groggy from the anesthesia. She decided at that moment, while I was groggy and not clear headed to tell me she wanted a divorce. Needless to say this was hard. I will be honest and say that I did not handle things well and I started to slowly slip back into bad habits. I didn't follow up with the doctor and just overall did poorly. I have, however, kept to around 400lbs, and my biggest was 520lbs. I had recently done a diet program through a clinic, HMR, and I was down to about 352lbs before starting to slip and gain again. I am at currently 392lbs as of this past Monday. I completely regret not taking advantage of the RNY now. I realize stress and circumstances piled against me but it is a huge regret that follows me. I came across this site yesterday as I want to resume some form of eating plan. HMR is unfortunately closing and I need to figure out something that is a bit restrictive. I saw the pouch reset and think it might work for me. My insurance, Anthem BCBS, says on in the plan documents that Revision surgery is not covered. My options, I think, are doing the pouch reset but I am worried I have stretched my stomach out and that would be futile. Am I wrong on the stomach being stretched out? What can I do from here? Any suggestions?

My team has never mentioned goal weight but has spoken about the average weight loss with the surgery. I originally picked 180 but figured if I'm making this change, I was going all in to 160, this was my weight since from 11 to 28, and I felt comfortable, just needed to tone. I ran into a video that said your goal weight should be 20 lbs above your normal weight which ended up being 160 so that worked out. I know there is a possibility I will not hit it but I will be okay with 180. Sent from my SM-G960U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

My goal weight was decided between my Medical Weight Loss provider and myself. She asked me what I thought. I told her that I thought 145 would be good, because that's where I was after having 2 kids and not losing the weight. She told me that because of my age, 155 would be a better weight for me. So, I split the difference and came up with 150. My surgeon said that he believed I would be at 163, in my first year. And really, I think I would be super happy with that, even. So, my declared goal is 150. But, I think somewhere between 150 and 160 would be fine.

If you have followed your plan well you have not failed. Heck, if you are lifeing as well as it seems then you are tremendously successful since lifeing is the name of the game. Oddly I think folks focus too much on a number on a scale. The important thing is following your plan, getting healthier, and feeling better. These are the true measures of success. High expectations and comparing ourselves to others is self-defeating. Even if we believe our expectations are reasonable we will sooner or later not meet them. There is always someone that loses more faster. Then we feel like failures when in reality we have no control over how much or quickly we lose weight. Good luck, Tek

Many years ago at Slimming World, I learned not to look at the results of others and criticise myself . What I was doing just didn't seem good enough. So I criticised myself and gave up. I have watched people shoot past me on here but the fact that I am still loosing weight, even at a snails pace, brings me joy. Never, ever compare yourself to others. I have also rid my body of Diabetes. It will attain us a longer life, healthier life. It is the biggest present you can give yourself. It seems to me that you have smashed it. Look at what you can do compared to last year. Your body is thanking you

One of the biggest mis-understandings or hope to achieve post weight loss surgery, is that the surgery will force the individual to stop on a certain amount of food, or restrict the. This is not the goal of surgery long term. Short term sure, swelling can provide false sense of restriction. However surgery has a stretch factor. If it is helpful for you, I have created a 20min master class video comparing all surgeries and how to get the most out of each surgery regrading appetite and portion support control. The following link will help you watch the video https://helen-bauzon1.aweb.page/p/776a1a9a-fd05-4851-a838-208a39db2975 Feel free to clarify any questions

Are you able to share what the surgeons said was ok and others said was not ok by any chance? Curiosity has gotten the better of me. I could possibly help you also address these discrepancies,, as I have over 20years consulting lifestyle and mindset management for weight loss surgery.

Depends on the goal weight you're talking about. The one I tell my team to prove that I have a realistic understanding of what my surgical outcome is likely to be? I punched in my numbers to an online outcome calculator, rounded down so that they had the opportunity to gently adjust my expectations. I don't remember what this number is, because I could not care less about it. The one I use for my usual calculations and plans at this stage? I used an ideal body weight calculator (there are a number of different equations) and picked the highest version to be realistic. The secret one that I rarely admit or factor into planning? It's the one above, minus 10% of the amount of weight I would have lost at that body weight to buffer against expected weight gain. I doubt I'll reach this one, it depends on how I feel and whether plastic surgeons have a minimum weight requirement. I dunno, it doesn't really matter all that much at this point. I have no idea how much weight will come off from plastics and top surgery, how much weight I'm stuck with because it's extra bone or organ tissue that supported my fat body, and how my transition would realistically affect those calculations anyway.

Hey Yall Its been a minute since I posted life has been lifeing lol. So tomorrow is my 1 year check up I actually don't complete a year until Friday but the appointment is early. I've decided for my mental sake I'm not going to go. Since surgery I've lost 63lbs not that I'm not proud but honestly just thought I would be further along. I've lost 102 from my highest weight but from surgery it's been really slow. I've had some many victories this year. My a1c is 5.2 it was 7.6 last year, I'm wearing a 16, I was in a 26 last year. My BP is in good range. I can work out for an hour. I have traveled something serious this year and don't need a seat belt extender. All the positive and i still feel like I failed. I'm hoping next year I can keep moving forward and pull myself out of this slump. Happy Surgery Anniversary to me. Sent from my SM-A716U using BariatricPal mobile app

6 days later and i am down from that 208 to 204. I hate water weight lol.

I think it depends upon the severity of the attack. My first attack had me writhing on the bed, severe pain around my right side - front & back, sweating, no pain meds helped. Lasted 40 minutes. Had a less severe attack a few days later before I had my gall removed. They had picked up I had a stone in a scan to check my liver (yep one lousy stone that was only about 1cm wide that made me think I was dying ) about 6 months previously so I knew what the pain was. Gall stones can be common after weight loss surgery, so best to get it checked out.

I bought a new one recently because my old one died. I bought a weight watchers scale. Mid price of their range. It does a lot of things like measures your fat, bone density, water. I just use it for my weight. Can’t be bothered to set the personalised report function. I weigh a couple of times a week now just to keep myself honest & on track.

Not every one reaches their goal weight. The average is a loss of about 65% of the weight you have to lose to be in a healthy range at around the three year mark for sleeve or bypass. This takes in the common 3rd year regain, compliance, lifestyle, etc. of course some exceed this & some don’t reach it. Love it or hate it BMI can be a good guide or starting point. If you’ve a larger frame look to the higher end of your BMI range. A small frame then the lower end of the range. Medications, age, general health, etc. can all influence what a healthy weight is for you as well the weight you feel most comfortable. Then there is your body’s new set point - a gift of the surgery. This is the weight your body is happiest at. It may not be the weight you wanted but it will be a weight that will be easier to maintain. I chose a weight which had been the weight I’d be able to get down to in the past (always bounced between 60-75 kgs) & my surgeon agreed it was an appropriate & realistic goal (interestingly it would have been 75% of what I did lose). My body had a different idea & I lost more. My set point put me at a weight lower than my goal. For years I was told I had a larger frame. But when the weight went the truth was I have a smaller frame & my lower weight is fine for me. I haven’t had any skin removal because I felt I didn’t have that much & it wouldn’t be worth the surgery, recovery & scaring. But that’s me. They’d probably remove less than 1kilogram of lose skin from all over my body.

I reached goal at 6 months (31kg - 68lbs). I continued to lose for another 11 months losing about another 12kg (26lb - so total of about 43kg/95lbs) I was losing only around 0.5kg (1lb) a month in the last couple of months but I was eating more & had been working at slowing my weight loss for several months. At 3yrs 7 months I weigh about 50.5kg (111lbs). The more you have to lose, the faster you’ll lose at first but then your rate will slow. You eat more & a wider variety of food as you progress which is what you should be doing. It does slow your rate of loss but it is a healthier rate of losing & you’re eating more like you will be in the long term. Don’t get too caught up in comparing your weight loss or rate of loss though. There are too many factors that can influence your loss. Existing medical conditions, medications, lifestyle choices, mobility, age, gender, genetics, weight loss history, amount of weight to lose, etc. Congratulations on your weight loss so far. 100lbs in a year is great.

I picked 75kg, because I vaguely remembered that being my weight back in 1998 when I was at my thinnest and wearing a size US 8/ AUS 12. I set that as my goal, as I felt confident at that weight. My surgeon's goal for me was 80kg, but I was just fixated on being the 1998 size again. I've well surpassed his, and even slipped under mine. Beyond this I'd like to get to 73kg for that bit of wiggle room, but I don't want to lose too much more as I'm already quite skinny looking.

started at 235 (5'2" female) lost 100% of "excess weight" (baseline calculated as 135 ideal weight by my surgeon) by 6 months got to MY revised goal weight of by 7 months. lost a bit more after that, gained some back, and nowadays hover around 118-120. i'm 4 years out. in terms of weight loss slowing down: not counting the first 2 months where i saw higher losses, i was pretty consistent during weight loss phase with a loss of about 10 lbs a month until goal. after that it slowed alot down, but i was purposely trying to. YMMV

My initial goal was 159, which brought me to a normal BMI. Once I achieved that, I revised my goal to 150, just because. Now that I achieved 150, I have sent a tentative new goal of 145, which is my Ideal Body Weight. I'm in no rush to to get there, though, and I feel like I might be starting to look too thin. Overall, I am beyond thrilled with how much I have lost... so much more than I thought was possible!

I also have a very basic scale I've had for years. No incentive to upgrade and it hasn't inhibited my weight loss or the monitoring thereof even a tiny bit!

I picked mine as the weight I'd been at various times in my adult life and had been happy with. Turns out my body had slightly different plans - am going with it as far as I can. Happy to lose a *little* more to provide a buffer for regain somewhere down the line. Twice in the last week people close to me have told me I don't "need" to lose any more weight. Pi**es me off mightily that folks need to comment in that way. My BMI is now within the 'normal' range. Who would say that to anyone else ever?

Took me 10 and a half months to reach my (arbitrarily decided) goal but I started with a lower BMI than some. You're absolutely right - everyone's journey is slightly different. My weight loss was like a reverse exponential curve - I am still losing, but at a rate of 1lb or less per month at 13 months out. I am still loving the journey, although I would have been happy with my total loss some months back. I hope you get to where you would like to be xxx