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fellow Bandsters: hesitate to comment here for concern of being misunderstood for my intent I for one always prefer to seek the underlying cause of any such dark aspect of my own life and times.... I don't really understand 'depression' in any real way. In the various life roles I've played over the decades, my preference for attempting to understand 'depression' is to define it as perception of being unable to positively affect one's circumstance. In a bumper sticker observation, 'depression is anger turned inward'. Boredom & avoidance of conflict & fear of change all have a role, so I'm told. The now antique notions of applying behavioral modification has always provided better results in my own life. Rather than pondering 'why' etc, action applied with intent to solve the problem, has always resulted in improved circumstance. Presented with the reality of 'having become diabetic' 25 years ago, I was given the choice of continuing my drinking preferences OR saving my eyes and kidney function. Through what I can only attribute to 'divine intervention' after intense personal crises, overnight all desire for alcohol was somehow gone....after 30+ years of nursing such a habit. We can become more of what we believe we *think* we should be, by following the example of the pioneers on the Oregon Trail. Leaving their old life and attempting to carry away the entire household, new demands on the trail meant dumping the old cast Iron cook stove along the way. Crossing the new rivers & streams meant leaving the dressers & fancy furniture sitting along the trail. Scaling the high passes on the way to "Oregon Territory" meant leaving the Memorial Anvil Collection of irrelevant unneeded baubles of the Old Life behind. We can ALL move ourselves in ANY direction we choose. Trying to carry/drag/tug the albatross of Old Life along soaks up energy we need for the journey. The butterfly becomes what it is by leaving the old worm casing behind. Destructive drinking and depression are symptoms that CHANGES are due, IMHO.

When I called my insurance company to ask about requirements for WLS, they said "no alcohol or substance abuse for 18 months" and "no smoking for last six months." Ask your surgeon what his/her requirements are. It could be anywhere from 30 days to 180 days or more. I tried to give you some links to data regarding smoking and surgery, but those sites were not allowed to be posted here.

Hang in there! I am 6 weeks out and I can have both alcohol (a sip or two) and pizza (about 1/2 a slice). It's enough that I feel like part of the group and not enough to be harmful to my daily regimen. Also, pizza is not a bad food in small amounts.

Yes I have been drinking alcohol after one month. The doctor said it's fine but it will slow down the weight loss. Usually 2 drinks but I have been at many social events the past 6 weeks and do see a slow weight loss and increase in drinking ability, so I have given up now for at least the next 4-8 weeks.

I can only tell you about my experience. And I went through the same nervous/excited feelings and thoughts. As far as food and drinks and alcohol go, I was able to eat anything and drink anything I wanted at 1 year. Up until then, I could eat and drink anything I wanted, but Frankensleeve was still adjusting and would grumble and complain sometimes. My hunger feelings went away, starting the week after surgery. I only feel real hunger now - meaning I can feel my stomach complaining it's empty. But daily head hunger and food cravings are a thing of the past. I'm now in control of my food and for the most part, really don't care what I'm eating. The hardest part was getting out of old habits, eating when I'm bored or eating because I think it will taste good. I've had a few moments where I'll pass the donut tray at work and just have to have 1, but it's only 1, I don't have to eat 4 or 6 to be satisfied. Or during the holidays, I'll allow myself to over eat a bit on all the goodies. The difference is, now I know I'm in control and can easily go back to my regular eating and drop the weight. I'm in control now. The hunger no longer controls me.

@@Dreamingofhealth Carbs are tricky because there are "good" carbs and "bad" carbs. If you don't know about them it's best to google because it's a lot to learn. Also when counting carbs you subtract certain things from the total number Like fiber, any sugar alcohol, ect...you have to know how to calculate it. Some people just eat whatever and do fine. I only keep my carbs in check because I know the effect they have on my body and weight.

Why are you worried? Just listen to your sleeve, take tiny bites and chew, chew, chew. No need to worry over it. Eat protein first, lay off the carbs and alcohol. You'll probably not be released for all foods by ten weeks, but you'll find that it's not hard to eat normal things. I'm only 17 days out and I don't have a lot of trouble with anything in the stage I'm in now. The only difference is that you'll eat much less.

@@LBS15 Wait, let me clarify that, you won't be "allowed" to drink alcohol for some time (your dr will give you a time frame) depending on your restriction you may only be able to eat a few bits of different things. You can still go out it will just be more about socializing than eating.

I gained 4 pounds in one week while out of town over Christmas. I had no intentions of eating healthy so I knew it would happen. My diet basically consisted of sugar, fat and alcohol. I Came back home and got back on my normal eating plan (nothing drastic, just protein, veggies, fruit and whole grains/avoid white carbs). I've already lost 1 pound. Just keep plugging away with what worked before the holidays. Pretty much like everyone else (WLS or not) does after pigging out.

@@Annie77 all the reasons/comments from "above" are good having so many doctors give different rules to patients IMO is ridiculous (unless there are medical, physical reason that are necessary for different rules) there should be ONE book for all docs to follow just a few examples why should people be at different time periods for liquids/purees', soft food etc. why should one person be allowed to have coffee from the get go - others wait different time periods alcohol in 3 weeks, 6 months, or 1 year!! why is sex allowed within a couple weeks for some when you feel ok? my doc has me still waiting 3+ years PO GOTCHA it would be great if all docs/NUTS could be on the same page kathy

Good to hear from all the May sleevers. Weight loss has slowed "a lot!" Im sure it's my fault as I have ebb having alcohol regularly. I still work out at least 3x a week, avoid carbs, and NO soda. But, I know that my weight loss would be better if I would just stay on track. Unfortunately, I am still a regular Watson with a life that involves not being on a diet 24/7. Still working at it though, SW 205, CW 153....

If it can go in a blender (and not alcohol lol) then I don't see why not!@@yaya77nc

The same thing happens with any lifestyle change, I think. I was married at twenty to a man who was thirty, first marriage for me, second one for him. My husband resented me for having a child (that we both agreed to have) and no longer participating in the weekend party animal life. Eventually he quit too, and things were better for about twelve years, although we didn't have anything in common, really, except our child and the fact that we shared a house. Then we let his (alcoholic) brother live with us. BIG mistake. It started slowly, him drinking only on holidays. Then it progressed into monthly visits. His brother lived with us for three years despite me asking my husband to ask him to leave, which he insisted he couldn't do, even though any time my family lived with us they had to abide by the agreed-upon time limit. It finally became weekly bar hops. My husband was not a nice person when he drank, but in a way he was happy because he replaced me, or what he wanted me to be for him. My wake-up came from a simple anonymous question online: "Where do you see yourself in five years?" When I gave that some serious thought I realized there was no way anything would change unless I left, and unless I wanted to die without having lived a better life I had better do something. So I did. After eighteen years of marriage I took my daughter and left. That was in April of 2004. My daughter is now grown, and I am still married, but we have been separated for ten years. One day we will divorce, but really, it's not even an issue. He still lives in Florida, and I live in Ohio. In some ways I am still on the same path, attempting to right things that should have never been, and finding and embracing the things that should have been. @@scstxrn - You are one lucky woman! Is that not what everyone wants? Sometimes I think the best we can do is find someone we can tolerate that can also tolerate us, but your story is proof that more can exist.

I was told there are 2 ways to defeat WLS either drinking too many calories or to graze on high calorie foods. don't undo the work you have done. that is a lot of alcohol and you may want to do some research on consuming that much on a regular basis

Dear BariatricPal Members, Happy New Year! May 2015 be filled with health, happiness, and weight loss surgery success for you and your family! There’s no doubt that weight loss surgery is on your mind as you Celebrate the end of 2014 and get ready to welcome 2015. So, here’s what you’ll find in this newsletter to close out the Old Year and start the New Year strong. Last Party of the Year: A Chance for WLS Success A New Year: Which Small Changes Will You Make? Your New Year’s Day Game Plan BariatricPal looks forward to our own growth and lots of new projects in 2015. We also can’t wait to see how your year goes. Thanks for making us a part of your weight loss journey, and thanks for helping each other become healthier. Happy New Year! Sincerely, Alex Last Party of the Year: A Chance for WLS Success The holiday season is long. By the time New Year’s hits, you might have had a Thanksgiving celebration, a few holiday parties at work and with friends, and a Hanukah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa party. Needless to say, the events make weight loss almost impossible. The good news for weight loss is that the season’s almost over! Whether you’ve been remarkably self-restrained since Thanksgiving, or you’ve given in to the temptations, life’s about to get back to normal. That can’t be a bad thing. For most people, there’s one more big party: New Year’s Eve. It may seem like just another barrier to losing weight, but it doesn’t have to be. It can actually be a neat opportunity! How’s that? Gather Some Momentum You may not have much momentum going if you feel like you’ve knocked over one hurdle after another this season. Turn it around this New Year’s Eve. When you eat right on December 31, you’ll prove to yourself that you can do it, no matter how hard it is. Carry that confidence with you right into the New Year, and there’s no telling how far your confidence can take you. Your Party Plan Maybe you’ve been using the tried-and-true tips, or maybe you haven’t had a chance yet this year. These tips can get you through the party feeling nourished but not stuffed or sick. Give them a try. Eat Right Is that even possible? Yes, it is. The only thing you need to eat right is the right food, and you can easily take charge of that. Serve some healthy dishes if you are hosting the party, or bring a few to share if you are a guest. Here are a few nutritious finger foods to consider. Cut bell peppers, cauliflower or broccoli florets, baby carrots, or celery sticks with hummus. Deviled eggs made with low-fat Greek yogurt instead of mayo. Teriyaki skewers with cubed tofu, grilled red peppers, and mushrooms with teriyaki sauce. Mini pizzas on hollowed baby portabellos. Stick to your safe foods, or you can also allow yourself a bite or two of certain favorite treats. Keep track of every bite you eat in your head or on your smartphone to keep yourself from accidentally overdoing it. Stay Away from Alcohol Say no to alcohol. Liquor and mixed drinks are high in calories. A 4-ounce (half-cup) glass of champagne has 78 calories, and an apple martini has 235 calories. Plus, alcohol lowers your inhibition – so you’re less likely to be able to pass up high-calorie foods. And finally, everyone knows you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach, but every weight loss surgery patient knows you shouldn’t drink while you’re eating. Alcohol and weight loss surgery just don’t mix! Grab a glass of Water, and enjoy it. It’s calorie-free, and it’ll keep you sober. It’ll also keep you busy so you don’t go for the food. If you’re tired of water, try some hot coffee or tea. Enjoy the Party What does this have to do with weight loss and weight loss surgery? You may be surprised… What do you love about parties? The food? Not anymore. The real reason for parties is to celebrate people. Once you embrace that idea, you may just find that parties are a whole lot more fun than when you’re focused only on piling your plate. This year, enjoy the people and the decorations. Soak in the party atmosphere, and see how much more you love the party. Carry that lesson with you the rest of the year, too – life is about people and events, not about food. A New Year: Which Small Changes Will You Make? What Can 2015 Mean to You? Maybe it’ll be the year you get weight loss surgery to finally take control of your life. Maybe it’ll be a year of colossal weight loss following weight loss surgery. Maybe it’ll be a year of gaining confidence that you can maintain your weight loss for life. Whichever you choose, 2015 can be the best year yet. What you make of 2015 is up to you. What a Difference a Year Can Make Take a second to think back over 2014. Did you really try your best every day? What would be different now if you had made a few changes consistently? If you’d… Gone to the gym an extra two times each week and burned 500 calories each time, you could be down another 15 pounds by now. Phoned local surgeons to schedule consultations for weight loss surgery, maybe your surgery would be scheduled – or over – by now. Brought a 400-calorie lunch instead of ordered at the restaurant when the gang went out for lunch on Fridays, you could be down another 10 or 15 pounds by now. Skipped the pre-dinner tastes while cooking dinner, you could be down 30 pounds. Tiny changes like these can really add up. Thinking about what a difference a year can make can get you motivated to start off right. Which changes can you make in 2015 to get the results you want by 2016? Your New Year’s Day Game Plan You’re gung-ho and ready to go. You just know 2015 is going to be your year. So what are you planning to do when New Year’s Day finally gets here? Here are a few ideas to start the year off right. Clean the house. Okay, it may not be the most glamorous-sounded idea, but it is a nice symbolic gesture. Plus, it burns calories. Get rid of the junk food. If you can’t face cleaning the entire house, at least you can get rid of the extra calories so you don’t end up eating them. Say goodbye to the Christmas Cookies, candy canes, and everything else that you know shouldn’t be there. Don’t forget to restock your kitchen with lean Proteins and other essentials next time you go grocery shopping. Get active with or without the family. If you can recruit the kids, your spouse, or a neighbor, great. If not, enjoy a peaceful walk to clear your head and get your mindset back where it needs to be – on your health. Plan a few meals. Things get busy as soon as New Year’s is over. Plan a few high-Protein meals and, if you’re inclined, look for some new weight loss surgery-friendly menus. Choose a fitness challenge. Find a 5k or another challenge that takes place in a month or two. That’ll motivate you to get moving. Long onto BariatricPal. See what other members are doing to start the year off right, and share your own goals. You’ll be amazed at how a bit of momentum can build into serious results. A few good actions on New Year’s Day can give you the start you need to have the 2015 you want. Thanks for being part of BariatricPal in 2014, and we can’t wait to see what 2015 has in store for the community and for you. Stop by as often as you can to read and post in the forums, and don’t be shy about contacting us. Happy New Year!

Just a word of caution. You should NEVER use alcohol on open wounds. Yes it will kill germs, and therefore it is used in certain cleaners and hand sanitizers. However, rubbing alcohol is also a drying agent and should never be used on open wounds. Nothing delays healing like parching the membranes of newly exposed skin. You may be killing germs, but you will also be causing a lot of unnecessary pain and delaying the healing process. Ditto for hydrogen peroxide. That's why your doctor instructed plain soap and water. All you really need to do is keep the wounds clean and let nature run it's course.

My bandages were removed before discharge. Had no drain. Was advised to use soap & Water. Inaddition to that I cleaned daily with 70% alcohol. Had no issues.

@jbrooks_rn. It might have been me that said I had my family to dinner. I have had 3 parties since 12/26 which was the day I started my liquid diet. I looked at those events as if I had an alcohol addiction would I expect no one to drink and my answer was no. This was a decision that I made. I can't expect everyone to live by my guidelines right now. They are supportive in many other ways, they can't give up their life for me! Good luck with your journey and Happy New Year! When is your surgery date?

You have already identified the issue. Now you need to address it by cutting back on the alcohol and the situations were it is tempting. Can you do social events that are not about drinking? And if drinking is going on cut the consumption. I drink coffee daily and have wine on occasion. I do not use carbonated beverages. It is possible to lose weight with coffee and very limited alcohol but you need to plan it in to the overall calorie consumption. 2-7 drinks 4-5 times a week is probably 600 to 5000 calories a week at least. It also usually lowers resistant to the bad Snacks usually available at social occasions. It will make weight loss slower and impede progress. Are you ok with slow or almost non existent weight loss? Alcohol will be used as fuel in your body and so real food may get stored if you consume too many alcohol calories. Also alcohol goes to the liver so you will get the abdominal fat there. And of course it is empty calories with no nutrition in it so you will still be hungry for nutritional food. You also have to decide how much do you want to lose the 40 more pounds? More than you want to drink or go to those social occasions? It's up to you to decide. When I do drink socially I have to choose if I want a drink or 2 of if I want to eat my calories. I say to myself "I can eat or I can drink and I choose to drink" I also learned the hard way to drink a glass of Water between each drink. I am a woman and in maintenance so I have a little more flexibility than you do right now. I still drink less than once per month and always plan the calories in. I did that in Weight loss mode too but I had to eat less in those days. You have to ask yourself - what is more important, keeping off the 80 pounds or gaining it back? Losing 40 more or choosing the status quo and hopefully keep the 80 off. It's all up to you.

There is a calorie-free "social lubricant" that you could use in place of alcohol. Of course, it is not exactly legal in every state, but it isn't hard to find. I have probably said too much...

Find some friends who go to the gym and spend your evenings with them instead of the drinkers. Then drink Water. Alcohol and socializing with people who have nothing better to do is not doing you any favors. You need better friends who care about your success, not aquaintances who bring you down. They will never come up to your level. They will always drag you down to theirs.

Not sure what type of motivation we can give you. You've identified your issues: you're socializing and making poor food & drink choices, and you're okay with how you look. I've not heard of any plans to cut back on the alcohol. Perhaps nursing a drink or doing without or any plans to change eating habits or exercise more. You know by now that this is just a tool, you have to put in the work. What's you plan to do that?

Drinking 4-5 days per week, 2-3 drinks sometimes 7 or 8.......certainly sounds like an alcohol problem to me.

Sleeved February 2013. Lost about 80 lbs in about 7 months. Everything was going well. Since then, my weight has stayed the same. I know the problem....drinking too much alcohol. I'm not an alcoholic, but am doing too many social things with friends that involve drinking. Probably drinking 4-5 days a week. Some nights will have 2-3 drinks, and some nights will have 7-8 over 5 or 6 hours. I'm also drinking some soda (diet)---some say that's ok, & some don't. I'm also drinking 3-4 cups of coffee each day. Some say that's ok, & some don't. Part of my problem is that my self image isn't bad----what I mean here is that I was WAAAY too fat at 331lbs, but at 250, I look ok & can fit into an XL shirt. I look ok. Not slim, but good enough. I'd like to find some courage & motivation and lose another 40 lbs. I'm 40 years old and a man

Alcohol doesn't affect me any differently than pre-op. But then I've never had more than a single drink since surgery. Serious question, pinkbunnies -- how many drinks did you have? I'm going to be in a situation in about four weeks where I'll likely have more than one drink. I'd like to know what could happen after that.